Chapter Text
"What use do I have for an immobile iron golem?"
"I found it on my journeys and was vividly struck by the urge to gift it to you."
Meaning: he found some junk that reminded him of you. Joy. It was like one of those dumb vacation souvenirs that were overpriced, overproduced, and easily broken.
"Well... uhm, thank you, I shall consider this a testament to our blossoming alliance."
He fist-pumped.
You were already starting to regret this. Only what, 20 minutes in? And you already were ready to declare war. At least this arrangement wouldn't put you in the central conflict. It'll keep you updated and prepared for anything that may happen, even if you had to be 'friends' with the guy. Again.
As Ozz breathed a quiet sigh of relief and uncouthly drank his tea, you turned to look at the machine.
You looked more closely at the automaton. Ozz had told you it wouldn't walk, and as much as you dislike him, he is persistent (read: annoying) enough to find that out as the truth. If the golem was, in fact, immobile, what in the realms could you do with it? Station it as a fancy -but useless- guard? Use it as an overly detailed statue?
It was exceptionally detailed, with a golden crown of sunrays that jutted out like a lion's mane around its circular face and a crescent moon dividing its smooth features. It reminded you of those archaic tarot cards you used to play. White, pupilless eyes, creased by a bright grin and rosy cheeks, the thing looked like some figure of joy, you guessed. Maybe it was some long-forgotten deity worshipped by artisan peoples or a mass-produced golem that valiantly served an abandoned empire. Or it was just some junk Ozz found on the side of the road.
You could only see the top part of it, its face, and a small section of its torso, but what you could see was incredibly dirty and dusty. Ozz had inexplicably found a clever method of transportation via a minecart from... wherever he got it. It blocked its entire body from view, but the part of its torso you could see had a rugged collar you assumed was once a ruffle and had big maroonish buttons going down its chest. Its arms were fascinating, intricate with full hands and slender fingers, rare for golems, but strangely had old bells wrapped around its wrist.
He smirked, "I can see you're quite taken with it. I made the 'proper' exchange, then?"
If that's what the studying gleam in my eye and wary glances are, then I suppose you're right. You turned away from the golem and leaned forward in your chair to address him.
"I simply wonder how an optimistic traveler such as yourself managed to transport such an... exquisite being. Your caravan isn't the most extensive. Where was it excavated?"
Ozz's face went blank. How can he call himself a slick thespian when he can't improvise with something he brought himself? Did he really only script out two lines?!
"I, uh, beg your pardon?"
You reiterated, "Where was it found?"
His face lit up with understanding, "Recall where Spawn is?" he gave a sly grin and obnoxious wink.
Your polite smile strained, "Of course, it's only the center of the world. Our continent's central hub of commerce and communication."
Who didn't know where Spawn was, honestly. But by this display of 'subtlety,' you assumed he meant the actual Spawn: Spawn Point. The location was heavily safeguarded and kept secret, hidden away, and seldom re-visited. You and all the other rulers knew where it lay concealed. As well as why. So why had he gone there?
If Ozz wanted free room and board, he could have visited an embassy; no alliances or allies required. Only dealing with paperwork for a near indefinite stay and regionally specific but luxurious comforts. (At least until the sovereign found out and demanded he either align with them or leave).
"Right, I was planning on traveling to the Desert from Spawn," he winked with both eyes, "when in a moment of... grace, I opened a secret doorway."
His eyes shifted as he said that, so he likely tripped and found a secret entrance. Not too strange considering the rulers of the land. You focused back in on what Ozz was saying.
He began, his voice somewhat shaky, "After a very, very, very long trek through a singular hallway, I came across a long and dark stairway that almost took me to the Creator. I went down in record time and came across an interesting place. There were all sorts of strange machinery, but none were active, and the air smelt of death and gasoline. It was like walking into a crypt. The dark was oppressive and too silent, but I was too afraid to light a torch, for what if the place burst into flame?
"Luckily enough, I had an end rod on hand. The few bits of glow lichen in the dusty halls had halted where the walls met the open cavern. There were many strangely shaped decorations, signs in an obscure language, and strange interpretations of animals, and I felt like I was being watched the whole time. A giant brown mechanical polar bear, a yellow plastic chicken with arms, and a child's drawing of a purple bunny. Those are the ones I saw, but I was more concerned with the ones I couldn't."
He shuddered and took a deep breath to continue, but you stopped him. You poured him some more tea and placed scones on his plate before you let him continue. He shot you a grateful look.
Ozz chewed on the last of your favorite biscuits as you pondered who would build this and why they set it in Spawn Point. There's a surplus of hidden rooms scattered around, but you were under the impression everyone avoided Spawn Point too. The notion it represented was too heavy to live under, much less build.
The brief break allowed him to clear his thoughts somewhat, "It's strange. I encountered no mobs, but I could feel a monster present, like some dark spirit looking for an opening to attack. It was as if I dropped my guard for a single instant: I would never return, leaving a nightmare beyond all fantasy in my place."
His eyes were haunted as he recounted deep, unbridled fear. He blinked and looked for more cookies. Grabbing some off of your plate, he absentmindedly munched and began again.
"It was then, in my scared state, I scrounged around my inventory for weapons and came across a Notch apple- provided anonymously by Art." He stole from Arthur of Canter. Not surprising considering the rudeness of the man, but you didn't think Ozz would be one to mess with the guy. Nice. "Now with my health restored and assured that I'd survive whatever I found, I ventured further into the cave."
"I realized that the cave was a room. The floors were faded checkerboard tiles and the walls an unsettling red but weirdly expansive. I walked around rotted tables and large slabs of wood and saw doorways to 3 other rooms.
"In the first, a small door to the side were mechanicals- broken and rusty beyond all redemption. The creatures resembled the scarcely visible artwork from before. They were immense quirky metals that barely mirrored real ones, especially in the dark. But it felt disrespectful to intrude on them, so I moved on to the second room.
"The air felt much lighter as I approached the room. As If something was luring me in. I felt urged to free..." he shook his head, "-someone. It was a blessing that the room was barricaded because I feared my earlier nightmare would have become the truth if it weren't."
He searched for more cookies, finding none. You began to dread what the golem had to do in this, coming from such a morbid place. He drank the dregs of his tea and resumed.
"The third room is where I found this fellow," he looked towards the still droid, "It was slumped over on its side, in the fetal position, surrounded by children's drawings."
You cleared your throat, "Children's drawings?" You asked incredulously.
"It could have been ancient art by subpar artists."
You couldn't play this off as a prank anymore. Earlier, you could have theorized that this was a prank revealed too soon. Or maybe a game of treasure hunt, but this seemed too elaborate. This place sounded stranger and stranger. Who in the world were the people who left this behind? And by this ominousness, should it have even been found?
You could have passed this off as Ozz lying for attention, but proof enough was the look in his eyes, he was a great actor, but this couldn't be faked. Also, a robot was 5 blocks away from your handcrafted tea table. That seemed like reasonable enough proof too.
Ozz snatched your cup of tea and sipped at it. You pointedly ignored this move to listen to what he said next.
"There was something about it that seemed sad but didn't give off the depravity of the other room, so I put him in a boat and rowed out as fast as I could."
"So after going up the many, many, many stairs and through that terrible hallway, I set forth to your grand kingdom." 'The closest to Spawn,' he didn't say.
So it's good to know that it was some junk he picked up, just not on the side of the road. But why not just use a chest of resources as an alliance offering? A poor song written with too much prose, a circus performance even, anything other than the cursed golem he found in an abandoned underground lair!
You contemplated before asking, "Ozz," you started carefully," why did you bring it here?" you emphasized.
He paused, worry clouding his face, "I apologize if this seems forward," what the f-, "but I felt the strongest urge that you'd be able to handle it."
"What does that mean." You didn't like how he said urge. You caught a blankness in his eyes as he spoke of the second room, and there was something within them again.
"I mean, it felt like I was supposed to," he explained, but upon seeing your growing anger rectified, "I knew that your empire was amongst the most technologically sound and that this would look like a suitable alliance gift-"
"So you decided to bring an unsound, possibly haunted golem to my kingdom in return for allegiance to your reign?"
"I don't believe it'll harm you!" He held his hands up surrenderingly.
You opened your mouth to respond, but he continued.
"I promise you, no harm will come to your kingdom by this machine." He met your eyes, and you searched for any doubt, "I don't know why I brought it here exactly, but it won't harm you more than this deal going awry for me."
You reluctantly settled with that, knowing what you were asking from him was a lot for just protection. You had to protect your people, and the same was for him.
"Perhaps I shall investigate this place," You didn't want to, but answers aren't ever easy to find for difficult questions.
"No, please, be careful my liege. That place has plagued me with night terrors, and I earnestly worry for whoever founded that terribleness."
You mulled over the meaning of this room, of why it was in Spawn of all places. The bot has a sort of ancientness, but it's too bright and cheery to look like it was from such a dismal place. You know that's likely not just from Ozz cleaning it, so why was such a joyful masterpiece locked away?
You sighed. You already had too much on your plate with the expansion of the living district, your blueprints smudged from constant pressure, and the ongoing feud between the center powers. And those were just your immediate concerns.
You looked at Ozz, the pleading desperation on his face clear as day, grappling with what you've learned and how it'd affect your future.
Ultimately, your conscience won, and you stuck your hand out.
Ozz nearly burst into tears, grasping your hand and vigorously shaking it, signifying the deal between your two factions.
You grabbed the book and quill from your inventory as he, his. Showing the other the conditions before you both signed each other's contract.
Ozz thanked you profusely, "I will serve you well, I swear it," and he finally dropped your hand. It was one of the sweatiest handshakes/handholding you've ever done.
"I shall see your people safely kept and your reign preserved," you swore. It was a sincere promise. You just hoped it wouldn't come down to it, that all the fighting would blow over instead of blowing everyone away.
He continued to spew thanks before you interrupted him by calling in a servant to show him his quarters.
He stood to take his leave. "Cloud," he began, almost tentative," I don't say be careful just because you're the only one to extend a helping hand to me. We aren't the most intimate anymore- but I hope we can be great partners."
He thanked you once more before going, as though his words weren't arrows in your chest, as your isolation had started before the center factions had begun in-fighting over resources and power. You had cut away from everyone else and hurt more than just yourself by doing so. Your eyes stung and you dabbed at them with a faded red scarf.
Alone- at a table surrounded by exotic flowers and a floor covered with crumbs- you hesitated. You turned back towards the droid. Your open, once warm, sun-filled tea room felt empty, and you hoped you hadn't just made a mistake.