Two Headed Dragon

by sekhmetpaws

Summary:

Yue Qingyuan is not fast enough to act when the beast attacks. He has failed Shen Jiu once. He will not fail again. He will slay the dragon, save the prince and prove his worth to the love of his life, no matter the cost. Luo Binghe doesn't plan to make it easy for him either.

Shen Yuan transmigrates into one of his sister's weird romances. He has no idea what the plot is supposed to be but he chooses to play it as some weird DnD campaign. Seducing the dragon never fails. He has never played DnD either.

Chapter 1: Prologue

IDEA X (Two headed Dragon)

Yue Qingyuan rolls from his hiding spot to another. The shadow of the trees and the upcoming nightfall is enough to hide the sight of him and he hopes his effort is enough to hide the sounds of him. He gets up, furtive. The time is running and the darker it gets the worse it actually is for him. A lot of these creatures can see better in the dark.

None of the guards notice his approach. He slits the first one's neck with only the soft thud of his body hitting the ground a moment later. He has lost the element of surprise with the second one, but is quick enough with a knife to his side to silence him as well. There is still a long long way to the castle.

He watches his reflection in a rain puddle. His hair is disheveled. His face is dirtied with mud. The prince would be so disappointed with him. The prince is already so disappointed in him. So far on his arduous journey, he has refused to raise his sword. The same sword used to swear his loyalty to the prince. And has failed him, now, for the second time.

He will not be failing for the third time.

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"Good morning user! ( ◕ᴗ◕✿ )"

Shen Yuan opened his eyes confusedly.

"Are you excited to start your new life of adventure and romance?"

He groaned.

"You are still there? I was hoping it was a dream."

"It's not ( ◕ᴗ◕✿ ). I was very insistent about it yesterday."

"You didn't give me a lot of opportunity to think yesterday. Waking up by being kidnapped is not very welcoming."

"I am sorry, user. But it's not that bad, is it? At least now you have a very nice view!"

Well, it was true. It was a very nice view. For a tower who knows where without a door or any visible way of getting down and an ocean of dark forest around it to make it impossible to discern where he is. It could've been a dungeon or some shit.

Shen Yuan had woken up in this world the day before and had a very confusing experience with a lot of shouting men, sword fighting and fire. He was starting to accept the reality that he had transmigrated into some sort of novel. He had read about this before, he knew the trope well and felt like he could survive it. The problem was, he has never heard of this specific novel before. Or he had, kind of, but he hasn't been paying attention. His sister didn't have exactly the best literature taste.

"It's like a fairy tale-inspired romance. You, as the whole kidnapped-by-the-dragon thing may have suggested, are our damsel in distress who has been kidnapped by the dragon and is now waiting to be rescued." His new glowing blue panel had gladly informed him.

"Like in Shrek."

"( ◕ᴗ◕✿ )"

"User."

"If your better reference to fairy tale romances is Shrek I am starting to think both of us should be very worried."

"As if this wasn't exactly what happened in Shrek one?"

The system decided to ignore him.

"Your character's name is Shen Qingqiu. You are the heir to the throne of this land and the only son of the king. Your narrative role, as said before, is "damsel in distress" and, therefore, your mission in this story, is to be rescued."

"This doesn't sound like a mission. How can I have a mission in which I have no active participation? How do I know someone is going to show up? What if no one shows up? Do I stay here and wait forever?"

"If the narrative is delayed for too long the mode "eternal sleep" can be activated to protect the user until the narrative can progress."

This is ridiculous. He doesn't want to be put into eternal sleep! "What if I save myself? It would be very progressive. Like a "strong and independent woman" story."

"You are not a woman. And this is not this kind of story."

"What kind of story this is? Actually, can I get more information about the plot?"

"This will not be necessary. Outside of user's narrative role, the rest is just mere details. It's a fairy tale world. It's not very hard, as long as the "happy ever after" is achieved."

"This is extremely unfair. Happy ever after sounds very subjective. Do I have something to do while I "wait to be rescued"? Why I was even kidnapped? Do I have some dark secret I should know about? Can I turn into an ogre during the night?"

"User. This. is. not. Shrek." The System display circles him in annoyance. "And of course, there are other characters in the story. Who would read a story with only you in it?"

He frowns. "Listen here...!"

"You are awake". A deep voice calls him, making him startle.

There is a man now in front of him. He has no idea where he came from since the tower lacks a door (he checked), but the open window gives him a hint. This is the tallest man he has ever seen in his entire life, even before he woke up here and his muscles look like he could crash his skull like a watermelon in one of those Tiktok videos.

"New character unblocked!" Chirps the System.

Title: Lord Luo Binghe, the black dragon.
Background: ????
Characther's role: ????

Oooooooooh. This is the guy. The guy from yesterday. Well, yesterday he had a lizard face and was bigger than an elephant. But now he had a very handsome face. Not that it was important. He figured he had to discover what those questioning marks meant. This guy had just kidnapped him and he must have done that for a reason. Everyone does things for a reason. He had to figure out what this guy's character role was.

It shouldn't be very hard. His sister's novels usually weren't very complicated and they skipped to the romance part very fast. There couldn't be a lot of reasons for his character to be kidnapped by a dragon just for the dragon to be very good-looking for no reason. Nothing good came for free. Luo Binghe was obviously meant to be some kind of love interest.

"User is correct." The system provided.

Okay. This was so easy. There were clearly only two possible options here. Or, he was in a "enemies to lovers" story, where Luo Binghe was the hot villain who secretly has a soft inside and he falls in love with him for some shitty reason. Or, two, he was secretly a reticent hero who Shen Yuan's character had helped once and now had a debt to him. He had kidnapped the prince to actually save him from his abusive parents and together they would overthrow a tyrannical government and it would be revealed they had been childhood sweethearts all along.

"User, I think you may be rushing things..."

"Shen Qingqiu... Did you miss me?" The man said, ignoring all of his line of thought. His expression wasn't a friendly one. His eyes were hard and he invaded Shen Yuan's personal space, breathing too close to him. He puffed a small cloud of smoke on his face.

Yep. Enemies to Lovers. He can work with that.
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Luo Binghe looks at the little princeling in front of him.

He doesn't look surprised or scared to see him. In fact, he looks very satisfied with himself, hands on his hips and a little smile on his face, as if he is mocking him. Does Shen Qingqiu recognize him, after so long? No, of course, he does not. He certainly doesn't even remember Luo Binghe. But Luo Binghe remembers him.

Most of the people from the lower lands are not even aware that the dragonfolk have human-like forms, but the Prince is not a stupid man. He knows that. Of course, he has already put together that he is the dragon who captured him. Is that what he is smirking about?

Does he think someone is going to come and rescue him?

Luo Binghe knows that it's a cliche. The dragon captures the beautiful princess. It's silly, but he understood the appeal a long long time ago, back when he was still a hatchling. Dragons like shiny things. Dragons hoard. Dragons like to take what is not theirs and hide it away.

Luo Binghe is not just an ordinary dragon tough.

He is bigger. He is stronger. From older blood. Older than the metal on the swords of all the silly men that insisted on trying to harm his kind seeking fame and money. He has eaten many of those. That's he ended up sort of known in the lower lands, he supposes. He resents that, in a way. It just makes more silly little men try to come after him, trying to become heroes or whatever by cutting his head off. They don't get very far. Many of them gave up on the middle of the way even and he doesn't even have the chance to even take a look at them anymore. He hopes this fear is enough to keep them out of his way now that the stakes are higher. This is the first time he snatches a prince. He has been waiting for that for so long.

"What are you doing?" He asks, surprised, looking down at the little princeling who is poking at his arm.

"I thought you were wearing a cool glove." He says, looking very interested at the scales on his arm. As if flattery is going to take him anywhere. "Do they grow like fingernails and fall off? Or do you change skin like a snake? Or, or did they just grow with you?"

This is not going the way he was expecting it to go.
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"USER! щ(`Д´щ;) What do you think you are doing?"

I am sorry, you just gave me a cool dragon dude and I am not even allowed to poke him a little bit?

"Didn't you say yourself this may be the villain of the story? (ಠ◞⊱◟ಠ)"

I mean, yeah, but it's a fairy tale. Doesn't the good always defeat the evil or some shit? Or at least everyone is morally grey and good and evil is just of point of view concept? And didn't you say he was a love interest? Don't I have to be interested in him?

"But the damsel in distress should have at least some reluctance before befriending the villain? ಠ_ಠ Where are the conflicted feelings? Where..."

What the fuck are you even talking about? What fairy tales have you been reading? Half of these people are clearly Stockholm Syndrome victims, they are not conflicted about the villains. Isn't it part of the princess's role to have that "I can fix him" mentality? Have you read Cinderella? The whole moral is that you should always be gentle to others, even if they are assholes because good things are going to happen to you!

"You are literally just poking his arm like a child in a petting zoo! ಠ╭╮ಥ You didn't even ask his name or his reasons for kidnapping you!"

Ah. There is that. Well, isn't he the villain? Shouldn't he be doing a speech or something about it? Wait for the system. Is he going to break into a musical number about how miserable his childhood was or something? If he starts to sing, will I have to sing also? I am not good at it, but, unless the furniture is actually sentient, there is no one else here! It would be so awkward!

Of course, his new dragon dude was completely unaware of his discussion with the system since it was only happening in his head. Both of his shoulders were grabbed and he was forcefully pulled away.

"Whatever trick you are going for, forget it. " The dragon said.

"Ooh! You are strong aren't you, big boy?" The prince said, completely unfazed.

Luo Binghe retrieved his hands, looking less threatening and more confused. "I... As I was saying, if you are planning to scape, forget it! You belong to me now."

With that, he turned around and once more approached the window and disappeared into the night.

"Nailed it." Shen Yuan said, at the same time the system's scream showed. "We are doomed."

Chapter 2: Once upon a time

Shady glares follow him as he enters the dirty bar. The people, if they can even be called people, are smart enough to keep their heads down as he passed. Yue Qingyuan also keeps his head down. A dark muddled cape covers his armor and obscures his face from view. The atmosphere is sickening and claustrophobic, tasting like dust and the smoke of whatever the men in the back are smoking. The whole fortified's city atmosphere is oppressive. The tall woman behind the counter cleans with an oily rag. Disgusting. He can only imagine the degrading conditions his poor A-Jiu could be facing in this abandoned part of the country.

"Are you lost, sweetheart?" She smiles with rotten teeth.

"I am looking for the beasts' lair." He says.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

The fat coin purse makes a tinkling sound as he slides it to her. "The Lord of this land controls it. He can't keep it very far."

"I can't help you." She says, but takes the payment anyway. "Turn around and go back to where you came from. You are not the first hero that comes seeking glory. None has returned. Those who seek the Black Dragon are both delusional or fools, flirting with an early grave."

"I don't ask for advice, merely for directions."

The woman's smile widens. "You don't look like a madman, so you must be a fool. What did our Lord take from you?" When he doesn't answer, she shrugs. "Keep your secrets then, take them with you to the dirt. It's not like it is a secret. A man as powerful as that has no reason to hide."
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Luo Binghe never really knew where he came from. He had sparse memories from his childhood before he was taken in by a nice washerwoman. He was raised as a human for a couple of years and although she didn't understand what he was, she did her best to help and protect him. During that time, most of his dragon features weren't developed yet and he could quite control his powers, so they were easier to hide, but dangerous. He would always admire her. He was the only one in the world to show such kindness to him.

When she died, Luo Binghe couldn't control himself. He cried for hours and shouted at the skies and breathed fire on his despair. He wasn't hurt because his skin was invulnerable to it, but the small hut they both shared didn't survive the flames. Nor did his mother's body. He couldn't bury her and had nowhere to go, so he went back to roam the world alone. By then, it was easier to shift and he eventually learned how to hunt small animals for sustenance and how to stay out of view. He was small then. Small enough o fit into the rabbits' holes and chase them out. Small enough o be easily caged by a human.

"This thing is going to be sold for my weight our weight in coin! We are going to be as rich as kings!" One of the mercenaries said.

They didn't know of course that Luo Binghe could easily turn back into a human and open his cage by himself. However, before he could escape, he heard a muffled sniff. A second boy was in the room with him. His leg was shackled to the wall behind him. When he saw him, he seemed surprised.

"Who are you?" He said. "Are with them?"

"Them?"

"The dragons."

Luo Binghe looked over his shoulder. He hasn't been in contact with others of his kind so far, but he was pretty sure those men weren't dragons. "I am sorry?"

"The mercenaries. Are you stupid? What are doing here?" The boy looked up and down. "Are you a servant or something? Doesn't look like you would be worth much."

Luo Binghe didn't think much about the other boy's words. He was clearly upset and by the state of his clothes and the marks of the chains on his body, he had been there for a long, long time. "Why did you call them dragons?"

The boy shrugged. "It's just a name. They steal. They kidnap. They murder. They hurt others. Aren't that what they are?"

"Do you really think all dragons are bad like that?"

"How am I supposed to know? Scatter, will you? I don't want to get another beating because of you. Go back to your masters." He scoffs.

"They aren't my masters. Let me help you." He says, going for the chains.

"Kid, are you stupid? Do you think you can just break chains with your bare hands?"

"Who are you talking to there?!" An angry voice calls and loud footsteps can be heard approaching.

Luo Binghe panics. "I... I will think about something. I will come back to help you."

"Right." The other boy says, tonelessly. He doesn't seem to believe him.

"It's a promise!"

"It always is, isn't it?" There is something of bitterness in his voice but he can't think about what that is as he runs away.

He sticks behind enough time to hear both of the men shouting at it other whose fault it was that the dragon escaped and when they can't decide on it, they start screaming at the boy. Luo Binghe feels a little bit guilty about it. He waits until the noise dies out to snick back into his dragon form. At that age, he was about the size of a cat and would only start to grow faster when he hit his teens. He keeps himself hidden and uses his reptilian eyes to see in the dark.

The men are busy enough that he can't quite have an opportunity to properly approach, but he listens and learns. The men that captured him are the lowest scum of this earth. They mess with all kinds of shady business. He learns that the boy he talked to is the son of some noble. He seems to be important enough to be worth the risk of being hanged for treason and the men have plans to sell him to a rival kingdom for an absurd amount of cash.

However, although the boy's stuck-up attitude is enough to prove him he surely was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, it still doesn't make sense. Don't all these young masters have people that care about them? Isn't anyone looking for him? Why hasn't he been saved until now? Those scars seemed old. The lack of hope in his eyes seemed older.

Luo Binghe decided he needed to help! It took him a while, but he managed to steal one of the men's keys when he wasn't looking and carefully slid across the floor to where the boy was. The other kid didn't see where it came from, but was smart enough o cover it under his hand. Now, everything he needed was a distraction.

He wasn't in the best control of his powers at that time. For some reason, he couldn't get to breathe fire in his dragon form, so he had to shift. In a couple of minutes, half of the house was engulfed in flames and alarmed screams were heard. He took a few steps back when someone's hand grabbed him by his nape and his head was being shoved against a hard surface.

He struggled to open his eyes and see and see a boy in his teens looking at him with disgust. "Sorcery." He scoffed, to no one in particular.

"Wait!" He tried to warn, but something was shoved into his mouth to silence him. He desperately looked around, trying to warn him as the criminals escaped during the commotion.

But they both turned their heads as the backdoor of the house was opened. A tired-looking boy stepped out. His face was darkened with ashes and so were his clothes, but his hands and ankles were freed. He collapsed before their eyes.

"A-Jiu!" The older boy cried and let him go, running to his fallen friend. Luo Binghe tried to get closer and make sure he was okay, but, a sword was pointed at him, while, with his free arm, he cradled the boy against his chest. "Stay away from the prince, monster!"

"The prince?" Voices whispered as the townspeople started to gather because of the fire. "The missing prince! Someone, call the royal guard!"

Luo Binghe's eyes widened and he turned around and lost himself within the crowd. A few days later, there would be armed men looking for him, but that wasn't the first time he was chased. Or the last.

Fine, he would think to himself years later. If everyone was going to think he was a monster, he was going to be a monster.
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System, do I get like a charismatic animal companion? It doesn't need to be charismatic, it could just clean my house? If I am going to be here for a while, someone has to do that and I am the hostage here. I won't be getting that low.

"User. How many times do I have to repeat this is not Shrek (ￗ﹏ￗ)?"

Who is talking about Shrek? This is every single Disney princess movie to ever exist? I demand my princess privileges!

"This is not a Disney movie either, user."

Well, if someone just told me the plot of the story, or at least what kind of novel this is, we wouldn't be losing our time, would we? Wait, System. Please don't tell me this is one of those adult retells. You know, those where the authors make the scenario all grey, grime all the characters, and shove a bunch of nonsense violent scenes and pretend their stories are sooooo complex. That's cringe system. I was promised an easy fairy tale world!

"I will give up on you (눈‸눈)"

"Finally!" Someone said, sounding almost dying out of breath. He watched as a small man climbed out of his window. "Why do they have to make towers so high for those of us who can't fly!"

"Sorry bro. I guess Rapunzel wasn't available for kidnapping this weekend." He said. The System made a displeased sound, but hey, he had nothing better to do. This man wouldn't even get it.

The man was on his feet in a second with eyes blowing wide. "AAAAAAAAAh!" He articulated. He awkwardly gave a step back. "You!"

Who even was this gremlin? He tried to strike his best prince pose, as he said. "Who do you think you are to address me as "you"? Do you even know who I am? I..."

"Right, right. What is the name of your kingdom?"

"I..?" Pssst, System! Send help!

The man seemed absolutely relieved. "You have no idea. Thank God. I was going mad around here. Do you know how long it has been since I met a normal person? And don't go around calling the others "bro" bro, they don't do it here. Hi. My character's name is Shang Qinghua and I don't know if my system allows me to tell you my real name. Do you have a system?"

Shen Yuan gasped. "Are you from my world? Have you read the novel? Do you know what the plot is about?"

"That's what I was going to ask you, bro. Sorry. I was only given a character role."

"What is it? Are you like, my fairy Godfather or something?"

"Eh. I wish bro. I am more like low-budged Merlin. Honestly, nowadays, I am mostly the Dark Lord's lackey. That's why I am here, by the way. The Lord has summoned you to have dinner with him."

The man wiggled his fingers in a very caricatured manner and one of the patterns on the floor opened up to reveal a path set in stone that led to the bottom of the tower.

"Huh. Couldn't you have used the stairs to get here in the first place?"

Shang Qinghua looked at him as if he was a fucking idiot and started to push him down with him.

Notes:

Hi guys, since today is labor day and I have so much to do but I am procrastinating, here is the fruit of my unpaid labor.

This chapter is more to expand the story vibes. As you can see YQY is more like a edgy redemption of the hero thing going on and LBH is more of a tortured childhood guy. She Yuan is himself.

Also, please imagine that shang qinghua is wearing what looks like a cheap wizard costume, with a triangular hat and purple robes with yellow stars.

Chapter 3: Be our guest

The dining room is not the welcoming Beauty and the Beast scene he had been expecting. There is still no talking furniture inviting him to be their guest in an overcomplicated dancing and singing act. In fact, the whole room looks honestly depressing. It's not ugly, per se. It's decorated richly and with good taste, but it has a dark gloom to it, with only candles acting as the faint source of illumination, as if forcibly assuming a darker atmosphere, like one of those movies that try to be serious but you can't really see anything in the end. Is this just because this is supposed to be the villain's castle or everything looks like this? He sighs. A fairy tale land could have anything! Why make it purposefully bad? It doesn't make it more mature guys. He just hopes the food doesn't suck.

Even though the eyes of this character actually work, differently from his original's, he still hasn't developed the skill to see in the dark, so he trips over a statue. A large hand steadies his hips, breaking his fall and suddenly he is been pressed against a warm chest.

So cliche.
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Luo Binghe feels the prince grow very still in his grasp. He gives it to him that he is brave enough for stopping himself from shivering under his touch. Just like the boy he knew in his childhood, the prince became a brave man. He lets go of him.

"Evening, your highness." He makes a mocking bow, even though he is the host and the Lord of this household and the life of the man in front of him now belongs to him. "I trust your accommodations served you well?"

"Huh, yeah. Everything was quite pleasant." Luo Binghe squinted his eyes. So the prince would also be sarcastic. All right.

"Please, take a sit." He promptly took his place at the head of the table, hoping the other man would follow. "I hope you like the food. The kitchen was asked to make only human-appropriate dishes. There is only animal meat."

"That's very considerate of you." He said, sitting on the chair right next to him, even closer than what would be considered proper. The dragon stuttered. A servant diligently went to the other extremity of the table and brought the silverware that had been placed there for their guest. "Sooooo... Have you ever kidnapped anyone else before?"

What is this even supposed to mean? Is it because he knows he is a dragon? Is it supposed to be an insult to the fact itself or to his kidnapping skills? Luo Binghe was so confused. He crosses his arms. "Yes. I have taken many humans before. I have devoured entire flocks of sheep in a day and barren their crops. I terrorized villages, disseminated armies, and burned down entire palaces. I..."

"Right, right. I am sure you are a very accomplished dragon. Your reputation precedes you and all that. Anyway, how is this going to work?"

Luo Binghe squints his eyes at him. What kind of reverse psychology is this? What does this man know about him? Have the terrorized people run to the kingdom to cry about the terrible beast taking their lands? Has any of the knights whose bones pilly on his doorstep been sent by his hand? He doesn't see the same hate he had seen in the prince's eyes when they were both children.

"What reputation?"

"Please, don't be modest." Shen Yuan waves his hand dismissively, reaching for a goblet of wine. "You are Lord Luo Binghe. You are so famous and stuff."

Luo Binghe doesn't let his surprise hit his face. So the kingdom finally put two plus two together and found out the beast and the master are one and the same. Is that why the prince is acting so confident? Does he think he has the upper hand? Okay. Luo Binghe can throw the bait so he can talk.

"I don't remember telling you my name." He turns his head to the side, amused.

"Ah. Lucky guess?"

Fine, keep your secrets. Luo Binghe can play this game as well for as long as he wants. He has time. Shen Qingqiu is not going anywhere. Still, it's not good when humans get too confident in themselves. It's important that their roles in this situation are remembered.

He gets up from his chair and walks to the prince. It's not far by any means, since he decided to ignore etiquette and sit next to him at the dinner table. Shen Qingqiu raises his eyes at him defiantly. Luo Binghe cups his chin, letting his claws press just a little bit, a whisper of what he could do.

"How do you think this is going to work?" He says, letting just a little bit of threat implied in his tone.

"Probably well?" Shen Qingqiu looks at him as if bored. "I didn't even get stuck on the tower for more than a day. Let me guess. I am allowed to visit the rest of the palace as long as I don't leave, but this one specific part of it is forbidden for some reason that you won't tell me."

"No?"

"Well, I am not the "locked in a way in a dungeon" kind of prisoner, am I? You invited me for dinner. I'd say we are pretty chill." He says, and turns around to look at him, making the fingers slide from his face.

"Aren't you scared? It may be just an excuse to have you for dessert." He puts on his most menacing grin and lets a puff of smoke out of his nose.

Shen Qingqiu looks at him unimpressed and unexpectedly smiles. A hand grabs the bottom of his face and squeezes his cheeks instead. "Why would you need an excuse? You do have quite nice fangs."

"I..." Luo Binghe doesn't know what to say. The prince's mind games are worth his own. He wasn't ready for that. "I have something to see too."

Shen Qingqiu is left alone in the dining room.

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"Well, for a guy that kidnapped me without consent, he is kind of shy isn't he?" He says.

"User! 눈‸눈 What the hell do you think are you doing?"

"If you are going to be enemies to lovers, he needs to know I am available for the "lovers" part doesn't he? But I think he didn't get it."

"You are barely enemies! ὺ.ύ Where is the drama? Where is the tension? You don't even know why he kidnapped you! ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ"

"Well, he is a dragon, isn't he? Does he need a reason? It's a fairy tale land! Villains don't need complex reasons. So what? He had a sad childhood or something? I bet he did. He looks like the "tortured soul" part. Do I have to real him with the power of love?"

"You would know that if you put more effort into your character(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)! You didn't even ask for his name!"

"But you told me! So what? Is this supposed to be like, an important part of the plot? The guy who is known as "the black dragon" and is in fact a black dragon is supposed to have a big identity reveal or something?"

"I am done with you. (⎺ ⎽ ⎺)"

"This wouldn't be happening if you just told me what the story is about!"

The system screen didn't flash again to answer him and he realized he had been talking alone in an empty room. Good thing that the food utensils weren't actually sentient.

He is starting to get bored actually. Where did Luo Binghe go? How is he supposed to go back to his tower?

"Shang Qinghua!" He calls.

A puff of purple glittery smoke materializes into existence next to him and Shan Qinghua falls from inside of it in a cartoonish way. He gets his wizard hat from the floor, before looking at him annoyedly. "I was in the middle of something import...!" He seems to catch himself for a moment and his eyes crazily seek the empty chair where Luo Binghe was supposed to be sitting. "Bro, what the fuck? Did you manage to piss off the Dark Lord already? It's been like five minutes."

"It has been definitely more than five minutes and it wasn't my fault. Do you think he is coming back? What I am supposed to do?" He demands. He doesn't even know the guy!

"Nah. Probably not. You, I don't know, but I am definitely going to enjoy the opportunity. I am never invited to things like this outside of very formal shit. I think he was trying to impress you or something." Shang Qinghua says, sitting next to him and reaching to grab an entire dish of something that looks like chicken but has extra legs...?

"Why would he be trying to impress me? I don't need to be impressed, I am like a prisoner. If anything, I should be impressed with his kidnapping skills or something. Or was I like easy to kidnap or something? Are there too many princesses walking around and I was just an easy pick? My system is pissed with me because I don't know the story but also refuses to tell me what the plot is about?"

Shang Qinghua gives a bite on the chicken's leg and stops to consider it for a bit. "Not really. It's the contrary actually. Your character is the heir of the most powerful kingdom in this land, except for the Dark Lord of course, and it seems like when he was a kid there were a lot of people after him and the crown got very protective after he did disappear once. Maybe the Dark Lord wanted to prove it wouldn't stop him? I don't know." The wizard shrugs. "There is probably more to it since my Lord seemed to be a bit over-obsessed with it for a while. But that's just what he is like. Who knows. It's not like he is the type to discuss his feelings with me or something."

"It's creepy that you keep calling "Dark Lord". Why can't you just call him by his name?" Shang Qinghua shuts his mouth with his greasy-covered fingers.

"You should get used to it, bro. People get pissed with you disrespecting the Dark Lord. And the Dark Lord also gets pissed if you disrespect the Dark Lord. You don't want to see him pissed.

"Ugh. What even is the Dark Lord? Like, I get it, he is a dragon and dragons are evil and blah blah blah. What else there is to it? What does he gets kidnapping me?" He says, cleaning his face on his sleeve.

"The Dark Lord isn't just a dragon, bro. He is THE dragon. You really don't want to know. It's better to just stay out of his way, from what I understand. He will probably get easier in a little snowflake like you since he knows you are not a threat."

"Hey! Off with the boomer terms!"

Shang Qinghua puts his tongue out in annoyance. "It's just your character vibes. I suppose you don't know anything about him either, do you? Sadly you are not like a classic sweet and gentle Disney princess. Apparently, you are supposed to be this huge bitch, full Regina George."

"But that would defeat the whole purpose of the fairy tale? Isn't it the whole "ugly on the outside, beautiful on the inside"? Well, Luo Binghe clearly looks very hot, so that's not the approach we are going for."

"Stop saying his name! It's a fictional world, but it hurts when you get beaten up! Anyways, maybe you have like a secret reason for it or something? Like, the prince is known for being arrogant and cold and mean, and it should put people off, but everyone seems even more desperate to marry him, not only because of the power that comes with it, but because of the challenge. Maybe it's just a mask and when he meets his true love they are both allowed to be soft with each other."

"And they get married and bring peace upon the kingdom? Seems cheap." Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes.

"Well, it's that or people just want to see him put in his place. You know, like one of those modern retellings. Do you know what brat taming is?"

"Not really?"

"Keep pissing the Dark Lord off and maybe you will find out."

Chapter 4: Out there

"This is the wolves scene".

"What wolves scene?"

"The wolves scene, from "Beauty and the Beast". My sister loved this movie when she was younger." Shen Yuan said, looking at the suspiciously ominous-looking forest.

"It's not "the wolves scene". I haven't seen a single wolf since I moved here. And honestly, wolves are the least thing you should worry about in this world." Shang Qinghua shakes his head at him, as if he was stupid.

Shen Yuan, however, is not stupid. He knows his fairy tales. He can recognize a cape that looks to be specifically made to get caught in branches and torns in a dark forest when he sees one. Besides, why the fuck just this specific forest is completely frozen? It's not even winter and he doesn't think he remembers the plot of "Frozen", he didn't like it very much. "Nah. No, thank you. I am sure that to be rescued from some monster just to discover the hot beast was wounded trying to protect me and now I have to nurture him back to health and become closer to him may sound fun and all, I think there may be more fun ways to do it. I was promised "enemies to lovers" not "enemies to friends to lovers"! Unless...System, would this count as a rescue?"

The blue screen just showed a big middle finger emoji.

He sighed. "Fine. Keep acting like a baby! But remember "rescue" is a pretty broad term! I know my rights! If you keep up with this bullshit I..." The system screen just disappeared, abandoning him with the wizard. "See what I have to deal with?"

"I feel you, bro. I know it sounds kind of sus, but can't you do this, just this time, for me? I would really appreciate it if you went there with me. It is going to be safer if you tag along." Shang Qinghua pleaded, batting his eyelashes, which was just worse.

"The fact that you want me to tag along just makes it sound more suspicious. I am just going to follow the not-obviously cursed trail to that small city over there. It's still inside the castle's lands and no one really said I couldn't go there..."

"It's not inside the castle's lands. And it's definitely not over there. You stole a horse." Shang Qinghua pointed.

"I didn't "steal" this horse. I am just borrowing it. No one said I couldn't borrow it." He didn't even get the giant opulent-looking horse that clearly belonged to Luo Binghe. He just choose the one that looked smaller and rounder and had gentle eyes and didn't try to bite him. No one was going to miss this one. "Besides, the "Dark Lord" allowed me to go into the evil forest but not into the family-friendly looking village?"

Shang Qinghua gave him a little smile that said probably none of those had been allowed. Or informed beforehand.

"Alright. You do you. I do my thing. I won't tell if you don't." He makes finger guns.

"Maybe you shouldn't go around alone, bro. You are new, you don't know anyone. Do you even know how to ride a horse?"

"I am sure my character knows. I am a prince after all."
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Ok. Here we go. After falling off a couple of times, he somehow succeeds at riding the horse, although it's more of the horse riding wherever it wants and he goes along with it. He does get farther away than expected, but it works. Eventually, the horse decides to stop to drink water, and Shen Yuan hops down. He stopped in front of some sort of tavern. Luckily, he also kind of remembers watching parts of "Tangled" with his little sister and unless the people ask him to sing about his dreams, he is going to do just fine. He puts the hood of the cape over his head and tries to blend in.

Inside, there are all kinds of different characters. The system clearly lied to him because it looks just like Shrek one. He approaches the bar and sits down. However, no one shows up to take his order and he starts to get impatient. Terrible service experience.

"Excuse me? Is no one going to serve a paying customer?" Actually, is he even a paying customer? He doesn't have any money. He doesn't even know what this reality uses as money.

The man...? Sitting next to him laughs. "The disguise doesn't work if the acting doesn't match, princess." He says.

Shen Yuan looks him up and down judgmentally. He is some kind of skinny ogre or ork or gremlin. Something with green skin. He kinda looks like that one cursed teenage Shrek concept art. "I don't own your explanations, but, just for you to know, I am not a princess."

"Whatever. Don't bother trying to explain the gender dimorphisms of your race to me. I see a dozen of you nobles in distress a day and you all look the same to me. Just to be clear, I am trying to say I am not hitting on you. All humans look just as feeble and pathetic in my eyes."

"Well, you don't look like much yourself either."

The green man looked at him, annoyed. "Well, just as you said, I don't owe you any explanations, but, just for you to know, I weighed six balls at birth."

"Seems like a suitable amount of balls". Shen Yuan tried to sound like he knew what the fuck it is supposed to mean.

"I see you've got some sense on you. Good. I was starting to think it would be a bad idea to do business with you. It looks like you are running away. I could give you directions for a couple of rounds of beer."

Perhaps this could be a good opportunity? Probably the system won't let him have this because it would be too anti-climatic, but maybe he can push the plot to happen faster? Without any wolves.

"I am not really running away, but I do need to be rescued. You see..."

"Sorry, Lady, I am not getting involved in your..."

"No, no! It's chill. It doesn't need to be from anything particularly dangerous! I..."

"Is this some kind of sexual roleplay? Because I already told you I am not interested."

"Well, it could be if someone would collaborate." He sighs, more to himself.

The green man laughs. "I see. You are trying to make someone else jealous or some shit. Well, I make a pretty good scary ogre impression."

He takes out both of his earrings. "Would you accept this as payment?"
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Luo Binghe had no one to blame but himself. He had asserted the other's mind games. He respected him for that. He made his strategic retreat. But, of course, his primary intention had failed. He hadn't been able to actually input fear on the little prince and his moment of weakness that made him leave the room was clearly a mistake. Of course, it would make the arrogant prince think he still had some form of power in this situation. It was obvious that the first thing he would do would be trying to escape.

It didn't particularly make him mad, just mildly annoyed. He knew that, apart from their difference, Shen Qingqiu was a survivor like him and that he would cling to any opportunity he had. He sighed. It was his on fault for allowing him too much space.

This wasn't really a problem per se. He had many servants in the castles and too many eyes everywhere, even outside of his own lands. The prince wouldn't be very far in so little time and in an unknown place. He had stolen a mare. Luo Binghe chuckled. The audacity of the other man! It was quite charming even. But, of course, the stable boy would report him immediately.

The horse had followed the village in the west direction. Luo Binghe didn't need to follow the trail, but he did because he found it quite interesting. The marks looked like someone riding aimlessly, going back and forth at the worn road and into the forest nearby and into the stream and around threes. He had to admire the effort the man had to avoid being followed.

A while later someone appeared to return his horse, apologizing profusely. So, Shen Qingqiu followed on foot or acquired a different horse. His escape plan wasn't so bad. Luo Binghe was impressed. Unfortunately for him, those weren't his lands. The people on the streets would point in the direction he had headed unprompted, hoping for a coin or to avoid punishment. The dragon was finding everything very amusing.

He took his time to follow, letting the prince enjoy his little adventure outside until he started to hear cries for help. Shit. He should have expected that too.

The tavern was silent instantly when he kicked the door open. The man that held a knife against the prince's neck dropped it, with wide eyes. Certainly, he was not expecting the Dark Lord himself to show up. The prince looked adorably scared, with a red face, trembling lower lip and tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. It pissed him off even further that someone else, especially someone as lowly as this thug, had gotten a reaction like that of him.

"Sir. Please. I can explain!" The man raised both of his hands in front of him in supplication, but Luo Binghe didn't listen. He grabbed him by the neck, raised him from the floor and squeezed. He considered if breaking his neck was enough of a punishment. However, he was forced to let go when he noticed the prince's knees give out and he had to catch him quickly before he passed out and fell on the floor. He took the man in his arms carefully. Perhaps this had been too much for a day. It was better to take him home and take care of the offender later.
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Yue Qingyuan had been taking a small nap after a sleepless night on guard, tracking the movements of the guards around the castle. The small village came up as a preferred hiding spot over camping. His disguise had been enough for him to blend in so far, especially considering the variety of people, for the lack of a better word, living there and the number of travelers, mostly merchants, due to the proximity to the castle. It was also good to make him aware of what was at stake here. This wasn't what he was used to and the non-human creatures and sympathizers couldn't be trusted.

He figured the castle wasn't heavily guarded on the outside, but he couldn't say the same about the inside yet. And even if patrols weren't a problem, he didn't know where the prince was being kept captive and entering without a plan, even if he could easily deal with the defenses, would alert the Dark Lord of his presence. Most importantly, he hasn't seen the dragon so far and it could be a major problem for him both in a surprise attack or if they were chased in their escape attempt. He knew the dark lord would have to send the beast off to be fed sooner or later. Or so he hoped. He couldn't even imagine what poor A-Jiu must be going through...

He jumps out of the bed when he hears a scream. He immediately reaches for his armor and sword before realizing how silly he is acting. It was just another nightmare. He... He heard it again. He looks out of the window just in time to see a tall, menacing-looking man walk out of a shady-looking establishment, with what appears to be Shen Qingqiu's unconscious body on his arms.

All he can do is reach for the shield before climbing the window and jumping down two floors. He rolls when he reaches the ground to mitigate the impact and starts to run just as he is able to put himself on his feet again, but, when he looks in the direction he had before, there is no one there.

Instead, a huge back dragon takes flight from the street, knocking up part of the building. He doesn't know where it came from or how it came so silently, without disrupting the village before. He can't see the rider and he can't shoot at it, at this distance, and even if he could, he would just hurt the prince.

"Xiao Jiu!" He cries into nothing.
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Shen Yuan opens just one eye, to avoid letting Luo Binghe know that he is pretending to be unconscious. Poor Six Balls. He hopes nothing bad happens to him because of their little prank. He realizes he dislikes dangling dangerously from dragon's claws at impossible heights just as much as he did the first time he got kidnapped, but he feels like someone is calling his name?

He looks down and there is some random guy with no shoes on, on his knees, shouting at the sky. What a weirdo. He hopes he is not a relevant character.

Chapter 5: When will my life begin

When they arrive back at the castle, Luo Binghe shifts back to his human form, taking him bride-style into his arms. Shen Yuan tries to give him his best-sleeping beauty impersonation. As a middle sibling, he has mastered the "pretend to be sleeping" tactic and manages to keep his breathing at a completely normal pace and not keep his eyes too pressed together. He feels his body being lowered down to a comfortable bed and his arms arranged on his chest like a dead person, but he figures that's just how Disney princesses sleep.

He feels a hot breath tickle his face as if the man is leaning just a bit too close to his face. He wants to sigh, pleasedly. His breath smells deliciously fresh and warm at the same time, which normally would be a downside to him if he was a reader because that's not chronologically correct and these people are not supposed to have toothpaste, but hey, his new fairy tale land needed to have some perk to it, didn't it? He pouts a little bit, just to make his lips appear the slightest more plump, and... he hears a door closing.

"System, would you care to tell me why I haven't been awake by a kiss? What kind of lame-ass fairy tale is this?"

"Are you complaining that you were not kissed without your consent while you are unconscious? You concern me user. ఠ_ఠ"

"There is no such thing as consent in fairy tales! Come on! In Snow White, when a guy kisses a random person in the middle of the forest, who, for all he knows, is dead by the way, it's called a love story! Actually, in the original story, he saves her by forcefully removing the apple from her throat with his dick. I am not asking for much here!"

"USER!"

He ignores the remark. Getting up and looking around. His tower isn't supposed to have a door, is he...? Hell, yes! This is not his bedroom! The room looks opulent but tidy. There is a huge window with a balcony from where the dragon must land and take flight instead of entering through the castle's gates. It must have been more comfortable for him to carry his "unconscious" body instead of trying to get both of them through the tower's much smaller one (and looked less silly of course. He wouldn't like to read a romance where the love interest has to awkwardly juggle with the girl while changing forms to be able to fit such space. Especially with all the effort he put into gracefully fainting!).

There is a work desk, with some papers scattered around that totally must contain some shocking secrete about that the narrative that he isn't supposed to know and it's going to lead to many misunderstandings and sexual tension scenes later. He almost considers following this tip, but, by the size of the bed, he is definitely getting the plot somewhere much more interesting! He... he hears someone coming!

He lays back down, throwing his long hair artfully around the better he can and hoping this comes out as seductive as he hopes it does. It works in anime! He decides to give the dragon a little treat and rearrange his clothes so one of his shoulders is showing. This is basically a boobie pic here, right?

The servant drops the jug of water they had been carrying when they see him and screams. He screams back. The poor woman starts apologizing profusely while he shouts back. "Who are you? Get out!"

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Luo Binghe's ears twitch at the direction of the sound. He smirks. The servant quickly passes by him, bowls, and makes themselves scarce. Not so smart now, little prince, isn't it?

The prince continued to scream at the other room, talking to no one, as he was sure the other man was alone inside it. Poor thing. Spoiled brats like him don't like to be contradicted and he thought he had the upper hand here, didn't he? Of course that composed confidence wasn't more than a mask and now that it had failed, he was throwing a little tantrum.

He can admit he enjoys a little game. It probably would feel weird if the prince just recoiled away from him in fear. It's interesting like that. It wasn't bad. Shen Qingqiu's escape plan could have worked just well for someone lesser minded and it entertained him for an afternoon. But he better intervene now, before the prince started thinking something stupid again. He wasn't as choked as Luo Binghe had expected him to be. Was it normal for a person to faint and wake up so angry? Well, it wasn't, by far, his first time being attacked.

He opened the door.
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The knight curses himself again.

If only he hadn't been sleeping, he could... The prince had been right there and he missed him. Is the universe playing tricks on him? Is he been punished for his weakness? For his sins?

Yue Qingyuan is not stupid enough to think he can outrun a dragon on foot. He goes back and puts on his boots and armor properly. He is not going out looking like some drunk beggar. Shen Qingqiu would expect more of him than that. He needs to set his mind straight. Focus. He needs...

He collides with a man on the street.

It's not a man, he corrects himself. It's an ugly green thing that mocks the form of a human. The creature drops many things on the floor, quickly diving the retrieve them.

"I am sorry, sir. I am in a bit of a hurry." Yue Qingyuan shakes his head, disgusted, cleaning his clothes so he can go back to his path. He hears the thing cursing under his breath. "Stupid little princess... If I knew it was the Dark Lord I wouldn't have gotten involved."

The knight immediately turns on his hills.

"You! What are you saying about the Dark Lord?" He says, grabbing the man by the shirt and pulling him up.

"Huh? The Dark Lord? I know no one with that name, ha ha!" He says, grabbing his arms back, before mumbling close to his ear. "Listen here friend, I have enough problems as it is. Got it? I am not even supposed to be here. So, I am going to be going on my way before he catches wind of me and..." The green man runs a claw near his throat in a very clear gesture.

"So you got problems with this man too, huh? Do not worry. I am here to defeat the Dark Lord." He asserts, seriously. What kind of monster must this man be that even the scum of this world hate him? Is he even a human being?

The ogre squints his eyes at him. "It was good knowing you. Goodbye." He says, turning around, and fixing the sack he carries.

"Wait. He was here earlier, wasn't he? That's why you were scaping? Did you see what happened?" He demanded. He knows he sounds desperate and this man may not want to share information with a stranger. But he needs to know.

The ogre gives a nervous laugh. "See? It happened to me! How I was supposed to know it was about the Dark Lord the little princess was talking about?"

"The... You saw the Prince? You talked to him? Is he okay? What did he say?" He repeat, grabbing the ogre again.

The ogre extracted himself from his grasp, uncomfortably. "Some nonsense about needing rescue... Listen, friend, I really need to get going."

Rescue? Was Shen Qingqiu in such distress that he even came to this disgusting creature for help? Yue Qingyuan really was the worst of the monsters, making his prince go through such hardship. He watched as the creature stumbled away from him, wanting to ask him more questions. But this would only be losing time. Clearly, Xiao-jiu was alive, scared, but alive. He had somehow escaped the beast's grip long enough to seek him. His prince was so brave. It must have been mortifying only finding these creatures roaming the streets and still being strong enough for this desperate attempt! But it also must mean there are cracks in the security, he only needs to find out how to get there. He is going to bring the Dark Lord's head back to his people and free them from his reign of terror for once and for all.

Yue Qingqyuan won't let this effort go in vain.
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Those bright green eyes stared annoyedly at him. The prince crosses his arms, as if Luo Binghe has done something to insult him. He grins.

"Did your highness have a good nap? You must be tired from your adventures today." He said. Shen Qingqiu raises a brow at him. He wasn't expecting an answer, so he continued. "You were warned. There is no way for you to escape."

"I wasn't trying to escape. I was merely taking a stroll around." The prince huffed, sitting down on the bed.

"Were you now? At the merchants village?" He smiled.

"Isn't it part of your lands? No one said me I couldn't be there. I told your servants. I told you before too, but you didn't answer me. In fact, it was you who escaped from our dinner together yesterday instead of having a real conversation with me. This all could have been avoided if..."

"I didn't escape! I had important business to tend to." He protested. "Believe it or not, I have more to do than entertain the whims of spoiled little princelings."

The prince huffs at him, turning his face away. "You should have thought of that before kidnapping me." He quickly turned back with pouting lips. "You let me all alone in a tower with nothing to do. I was bored! The minimum I deserve is that you keep me company."

Luo Binghe rolls his eyes exasperated. "Don't whine at me, sweetheart. It's not going to work. This is not your court. Do you have any idea what could have happened to a pretty thing like you out there, even if those people had no idea who you are?"

"A pretty thing, huh?" The prince cocks his head to the side, with a little smile. "Please, tell me."

Luo Binghe growls, sending out a puff of black smoke through his nose. The prince is just taunting him now. That's what he earns from trying to be civil. Things work better when he just mauls first and asks questions later. People tend to be much more proactive and polite when they are scared for their lives. It's better to just turn around and leave.

"Oh, I am sorry. I am just joking, I will drop it now." The little prince is quick to say, getting on his feet and going after him. "After all, you are being such a good host while I am just causing you trouble."

Shen Qingqiu stops in front of him, blocking his way to the door. What kind of game is he playing now? He pouts again and Luo Binghe blinks. "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have gone out without permission. I was so scared when that ogre tried to grab me!" He smiles again, twirling a lock of his hair around his finger. "You have all this mean pose but you went out of your way to save me and for that, I am forever grateful. You were my hero today, my Lord. I am sure there must be a way for me to repay that kindness."
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Shen Qingqiun stood there dumbfounded as, once more, he heard the door slam behind him as the dragon silently abandoned him.

"Excuse me system, but this was top acting skills. Do you mind telling me why the fuck it looks like I hurt the Dark Lord's feelings?" He complained to the heavens. "What kind of lame excuse of a villain you gave me that won't take an obvious opportunity for bullying? It is like I am the villain here!"

Notes:

Why won't this hot man take advantage of him? Ugh.

Chapter 6: Heigh-Ho

After it becomes clear that the dragon not only is not coming back, but is also blatantly avoiding him as he cannot find him anywhere in the dammed castle, Shen Yuan decides its time to find his fairy godfather again, that, even if is not going to be getting him any magic new dress or romantic ball night, at least can hear to his complains.

"...and can you believe how unfair it is? The villain can always hit on the maiden, but I am supposed to act like a blushing virgin?"

"Isn't that what you are?" The wizard sipped at his whine.

"That's not the point. The point is that, if I was the villain, this would have been perfectly acceptable, but, if I subtly flirt with the hot dragon I am "out of character"?" He looks accusatorily around, waiting for the system's screen to appear, but it doesn't happen. It had scolded him harshly for making the villain run away and had taken a lot of "cool points", whatever that meant. "But isn't the whole point of being like a cold and rude prince that I can say whatever I want?!"

"Yeah, bro. It totally sucks." Shang Qinghua agrees, mostly to make him shut up.

"So, I decided I am going to do exactly what a dumb princess would do." He opens a big smile. "I am going to find an evil witch to curse me." The wizard looks at him as if he just puked a frog whole. "What?"

"This doesn't sound like a good idea."

"I am not asking if it's a good idea, I am asking if you happen to know one." The prince crossed his arms.

"Why would I know an evil witch?"

"So you don't?"

"Nope."

"Not even the one from the cursed path that looks like it leads to an evil witch's house that you were dying to lead me to the other time?"

And that's how they got to the cursed path that looks like it leads to an evil witch's house. Shen Qingqiu was pretty satisfied with his plan. Shang Qinghua kept playing with his own hands and looking over his shoulder all the time, fearing that the Dark Lord would come after them at any second now. But, again, no one explicitly told him he wasn't allowed to wonder in the dark woods just outside the castle! If Luo Binghe didn't want him to venturing around he could just have said so instead of hiding like a little baby.

"I honestly don't know what we are so worried about. With the exception being the queen from Snow White that was already rich and therefore morally evil for other reasons, evil witches are hardworking citizens that don't really bother anyone unless the people got right to their doorsteps asking for it."

"Exactly like we are doing right now?"

"Yes, but we are not stupid. We just need to be careful with our words and think about what we are agreeing to." He explained.

"What YOU are agreeing to. This is none of my business." The wizard huffed.

"Whatever." He crosses his arms. "Honestly, all those Disney princesses ended up far better than what they bargained for. Like, just imagine. The witch from The Little Mermaid was actually so nice to her. Everyone acts like she was so mean and all but no one forced her to sign the contract, that she didn't even read, by the way, and it was very clear from the beginning what the consequences would be."

The wizard chuckles. "Isn't her eternal soul a bit of too much of a penance for you? And she was a minor, so the contract wasn't evil legal."

Shen Yuan stares at him annoyedly because he is missing the whole point. "We don't know if she is a minor because mermaids aren't ruled by the same laws that we are. And it's a fairy tale, everyone gets married at fourteen or something. Anyway, that's not what I am talking about. So, she goes there and asks for legs so she can go and see the boring human guy. Does she ask for human legs? Does she specify how many legs she wants? Does she ask for legs that match her skin color and body type? Does even asks to be able to breathe out of water?"

"I am pretty sure she just asks to be a human. And mermaids are mammals. They breathe air." Shang Qinghua corrects.

"Even so, the witch goes out of her way to try to seduce the prince because she was quirky and fun when she could just have killed him and made it impossible to fulfill the contract. What I am trying to say is that she wasn't even that evil. I would've done worse."

"You know you are a monster, don't you?"

"If I was an evil witch. IF!"

Shen Yuan sneers at him. Why do evil witches live in such secluded locations anyway? His feet are hurting and he couldn't even bring a horse because it would just be slipping around like they were. Honestly, he had been expecting some scary woods where all the trees have evil faces and branches that look like claws and it feels like there is something watching you from the shadows, but nope, everything is frozen. It doesn't feel like this trail is leading them to any old hut or cavern or even, the most disappointment, no gingerbread house. Actually, everything is starting to look kind of pretty, like purposefully made. This is just going to be frozen, isn't it?

His sister did mention to him once that the girl from frozen was originally supposed to be the evil queen and they discarded the idea, but, despite being magic, it doesn't really count as a witch does it? Getting a frozen heart is not going to solve any of those problems (isn't his character already supposed to have a frozen heart?) and he doesn't really want an annoying snowman sidekick. Shang Qinghua is enough of an annoying sidekick and if he is making them lose their time again he is going to be pretty upset. He just hopes that the witch isn't just going to tell him that love is going to fix everything, because that's the whole point! It's the dragon's fault that he isn't doing any effort on his side of this relationship-to-be.

"Ok. Here we are." To whoever wrote this credit, it doesn't look like the castle from Frozen, but it did look too edgy, like all the scenarios in this world.

But, before he could see better, he felt a very weird sensation as if he was being squished and suddenly they puffed into existence inside the frozen grounds in a lot of sparkly purple smoke.

He coughed, accidentally breathing it. "Couldn't you do that from the beginning instead of making us walk all the way here?"

"What kind of a witch would I be if there were no wards in my own forest, little prince?" He heard a deep voice coming from behind him.

When he turned around, there was a very tall and broad man looking at him with displeased eyes. His skin had a light blueish tone to it and his chest was completely exposed, which defeat the purpose of the heavy fur cape he wore, but it was very character design of him.

The wizard quickly skipped between them in a flourish bow. "Please forgive our lowly selves from entering your noble home, sire." Shang Qinghua gave him an ugly stare, indicating that he should follow, but he just couldn't help keeping staring at the man in front of him. "I present you, the great Mobei-jun, the witch of the north."

"But he is a man?"

"And?"

"You just said he is a witch. Why...?"

"Oh my gosh, bro! You can’t just ask someone why they're a man!"

"That's not what I was going to say! I meant why didn't say he was a wizard?"

"I am a wizard!"

"Yeah...?"

"Those are clearly two completely different things!"

Shen Qingqiu comes to the conclusion that he has to stop making conclusions about this fairy tale world as he clearly knows even less than he supposed he did. And, although he kind of wanted to ask the intricacies of what exactly differentiated a witch and a wizard, the witch man made a low humming noise from his throat that kind of sounded like a chuckle, he didn't want to presume anything.

"I understand where the confusion comes from. I assure you, not all good witches are beautiful and all bad witches are ugly. In fact, we don't conform to our beauty or morality norms, but I am flattered anyway."

"Uh..." He looked at the wizard, who subtly shook his head. "Yeah. That's exactly what I was talking about." The witch smiled...he thinks? His lips kind of twitched a bit? His friend seemed relieved, so he probably said something right.

"When Qinghua and I first met, he mentioned those silly misunderstandings that humans have about my kind." He said, patting the wizard on the head as one would do to a pet.

"Ah..." He kind of didn't bother to ask what kind of relationship his friend and Mobei-jun had before coming. "Have you and Qinghua been acquaintances for long?" He looked at the wizard accusatorily, but he only pretended to look at his shoe instead.

"I am going to brew some tea." He said, quickly escaping this conversation.

"We've known each other for forty years." The witch nods.

How fucking old Shang Qinghua actually is? Has he been in this world for that long?

"So. I heard you are the Dark Lord's new pet." And by "heard", it sounds suspicious like "Shang Qinghua told me". He is going to kill him. "Is that what brings you here?"

"Ah, yes. I was considering if you could curse me?"

Shang Qinghua came back, lowering a fancy tea set in front of them. Both he and the witch shared a meaningful look for whole five seconds, as if he wasn't even there, before Mobei-jun turned back at him.

"A curse you say?" He raised an eyebrow at him. "Please, have a seat."

"Preferentially, none of those "eternal sleep" curses. I already have one of those." Thank you for nothing system.

"I see." Mobei-jun used his hand to support his head, consideringly. "And how exactly would that help you?"

He opens his mouth to speak but closes it again. It turns out he didn't think it very far. Witches are supposed to question you, they just curse you and let you deal with the consequences of your actions! Or are those genies? He doesn't know. But it's probably a good idea. It worked on Shrek, didn't it?

Mobei-jun ignores his silence. "What kind of curse would that be, then? What do you need it for?"
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Luo Binghe groans in annoyance. His little prince got out again. At the second he got out of the castle, one of the servants was already at his feet with the information. They also were very reticent to inform him that Shen Qingqiu had been very clear that, again, he had asked and the Dark Lord hadn't explicitly told him he couldn't get out. And that he was NOT escaping, he was just taking a look around.

The dragon had a bad feeling that his little prince was going to get in trouble again and he would inevitably have to go after him himself, but it was not a priority now. Luo Binghe just had too many spies on his lands to let him know exactly where the man was at all times. In fact, it seemed like his personal wizard had convinced the man to let him tag along. Good, good.

Luo Binghe had more things to worry about for now. It seemed like there was someone killing his guards again. It happened every once in a while, when someone showed up to try to defeat the dragon or challenge the Dark Lord's position. This was just a bit sneakier than the others. It was tiring, but it was part of the job. He just hoped he and Shen Qingqiu didn't run into each other before he could catch the mouse.

Notes:

Mobei-jun's real power is that he is the only character in this story that have common sense.

Chapter 7: Fairest of them all

"I see." The witch looks at him, with a somber expression. "I believe I have just what you need."

Shen Yuan is beaming with excitement inside. Finally, things are starting to work out for his character. He waits, as he expects Mobei to pull a steaming cauldron out of somewhere or at least a freezing ray or something. Instead, the witch barely uses a claw to pierce his own finger and uses the dot of blood that emerges from it to mark the middle of the prince's forehead. Come on, system! he can't have Disney princesses' but he can have The Lion King?

"Done." The witch takes a step back.

"Wait. Is it that?" He can't help but say. He supposes something must be happening to him because he feels as if all the warmth is being pulled from his body for a moment. He touches his forehead and he can feel the blood solidified in a small crystal. It doesn't really feel like ice under his touch, it really does feel like a rock.

"Hm." The witch hums, turning his back to him. Tonight, the moon will be at its fullest. You'll have until it's gone from the sky to lay with the Dark Lord."

"To lay...Wait, you mean to have sex with him?" He didn't expect the witch to be so straightforward. "So, I don't need a true love kiss or something?"

The man raises a brow at him. "Are you confident you could make the Dark Lord love you in this period?"

Great point. "And if I don't...?"

"I am going to eat your heart."

"So, I am going to die."

"I am going to track you, psychically harvest your heart, and consume it, so, yes, you would die in the process." Mobei-Jun nods, face blanck. "On the other hand, this is going to make you more appealing to the Dark Lord, in all aspects, to increase your chances and make him find it harder to resist you."

This is such a great plan. If he becomes irresistible to Luo Binghe, he doesn't need all this time. How much is it, anyway? One, two weeks? Does the moon work the same in fairy tale land? It doesn't matter. He is going to have the dragon on his bed a nightfall! And if he remains too stubborn, he will just inform him it's imperative that the fuck, because he has been unfortunately cursed. Luo Binghe is not just letting him die, is he? And if he does, it's not like it is going to be permanent. Right system? System? He must be looking like a fool because the witch chuckles, making him blush.

"About payment..."

Shen Yuan deflates a little. He had forgotten about that part. He didn't really have anything to offer. This wasn't his body and much less his world, so, giving up anything wouldn't be that hard, but what if the payment was too high for him to fulfill? What if he couldn't fulfill at all? What if the witch asked, say, for his firstborn child? He doesn't even like women! Would he necessarily need to have a child to give the witch? Could a random child that he found somewhere do it? Or if he never had a child it would technically still count?

"...I am going to collect eventually. if you survive."

He supposes it's only fair. See? Shang Qinghua was worrying over nothing. He knew evil witches were just honest, hard-working people. Mobei-jun is not making him pay for anything if (except for his heart) he isn't satisfied with his curse and it's honestly more than half of the big companies in the real world would be willing to give him.

And, to show he is well-intentioned, the witch even takes off his heavy fur cloak and places it on his shoulders (getting completely shirtless in the process, which is exactly fan service he is here for). For a moment, he questions what could be the use of such an enchanted item, but the man quickly explains.

"You look feeble and pathetic, unsuited to survive the journey back in the cold. If you die too soon I won't be able to collect payment and your organs are going to be useless." He explains.

Again, fair.

Shang Qinghua looks like he ate a lemon on the whole way to the castle, but, honestly, he is probably just jealous that Shen Yuan was so right about everything.
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Yue Qingyuan has learned a lot in those past days of observation. Enough, he hopes.

The castle is surrounded by vast lands and thick forests that are dangerous at night. The terrain around it doesn't offer much coverage and his approach could be easily spotted, even after the nightfall, since many of the monstrous guards were nocturnal creatures and could see in the dark. However, the patrols weren't that frequent and, if he counted the time right, he could easily approach the fortress unseen.

There is no sign of some sort of a cave or anything that could house a monster that big and he has seen the dragon fly over the castle and around the towers. He has to believe that the castle must have some kind of huge patio or an entrance to a subterranean set of caves somewhere to hide the beast when its master isn't looking. It also hasn't been set off to feed recently. He hopes the Dark Lord is feeding it somehow, maybe with his own men, as rumors say. He doesn't trust a man to control a monster that big.

Yue Qingyuan has two goals: slay the dragon and save the prince. The Dark Lord, obviously, he wants dead too, as would be rightful for his crimes against mankind. The correct thing to do, would be to be able to bring him back alive, to have him publicly executed and made an example of. However, he can not do that without jeopardizing the prince's safety. Shen Qingqiu is his priority. He made this journey in secret for a reason. If, to save the one who owned his life and his heart, he had to bring the man to justice by his own hand, be it.

All this surveillance may be about to pay off when he thinks he may have found a weak spot. There is a tower on the far end of the property, still connected to the main castle. There seems to be no visible way in or out except from a small entrance on the very top of it. It seems to be a very convenient place to keep a prisoner, especially when the capturer is the only one who can fly up and down the window. A closer inspection tells him he is not the first to have this idea. Desgasted marks show him others have tried to climb the tower before. It's not going to be easy, and it's going to be even harder to do it without being seen and completely exposed to the dragon's breath and without a way to defend himself. But it's possible.

What to do after that, it's a problem for later. If the prince is even there, he doesn't know what to do about it. If he is in any condition of scaping. He can't put him in danger like that and climb back down with him... No. He can't let this stop him. He has to hope. He has to be brave. If he can't save the prince immediately, he at least can keep him company. Someone will certainly come for him eventually and the tower is too small for a dragon to fit it... There must be another way out.

Xiao-jiu, your Qi-ge is coming.

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Luo Binghe watches from his balcony as the prince approaches the castle's grounds with a smile, his personal wizard at his heels. He was sure he would come back with his tail between his legs. Did he really think he could escape through the forest? The frozen lands that were the north would certainly be a big enough stone on his path. He decides to wait for him by the gates, just to see the frustrated expression on his face.

He drops from the balcony, assuming his dragon form in the air, just to return to his humanoid form closer to the ground. He is not going to just wait around and see. He doesn't want Shen Qingqiu to be thinking anything he shouldn't. Instead, he makes himself look busy, as if he didn't even notice the prince was gone. He grins to himself.

When he hears the prince coming in, he gets on his feet, distant and unbothered. "Oh, little prince. I haven't seen you there. Gone from another little stroll of yours?"

The wizard recoils at his stare, bowing, before making himself scarce. Luo Binghe follows him with his eyes, displeased, for a second. He opens his mouth for another poisonous comment but quickly closes it again. The prince smiles at him, innocently, as if he hasn't been attempting another escape plan. At the middle of his forehead, sits a small gemstone.

"Ah, yes, it has been pleasant. You have very beautiful lands." He says, tauntingly. His eyes stare directly at the dragon's own, like a challenge.

Luo Binghe can feel something is wrong, but he is not sure what it is. He only knows it makes his skin itch as if something is crawling under his scales. He stares, suspiciously but can't figure it out. He stops, and sniffs at the air and immediately wants to bite something. Shen Qingqiu has an undeniable scent of man on him. Of another man.

He doesn't think Shang Qinghua would actually allow something like that to happen under his nose, but his fangs still itch for blood. He figures it comes from the fur Qingqiu is wearing. He doesn't remember a fur in the belongings he provided him. It also looks familiar something. He squints his eyes. So, someone is making a move on HIS prince, on HIS territory. This is not going to stay like that.

He rips the offending cape from the prince's shoulders.

"Hey!" He protests, trying to reach for it.

It just gets the Dark Lord angrier. "What do you even need this for?"

Before the prince can try for it again, he simply opens his mouth and lets the flame lick through it, before dropping the piece on the floor, where it will burn away, making his point clear. He doesn't want to watch it burn, so, instead, he removes his own outer robes. The scent still clings to the room. It must still be clinging to his prince's skin. How long has he been wearing it? How dare he bring it into his household? Hasn't Luo Binghe provided him with everything he needs?

What else does he want? Clearly, the prince likes shiny things. He doesn't remember wearing this little gemstone before. Luo Binghe is not too big on jewelry, as the dragon stereotype would suggest, but clearly, he forgot spoiled little princes like those just as much. Luo Binghe has incontable riches. Shen Qingqiu doesn't need others to give him gifts. Not even gifts, little trinkets! This is ridiculous. If Shen Qingqiu wants to wear something on his forehead, he should be wearing Luo Binghe's symbol, which would be much more appropriate! He is going to show him.

"If you are cold, use this instead. It's made from a beast I killed with my own hands. It's not affected by fire and no normal blade can go through it." He says, dropping it as well. he doesn't want to see if the prince is going to take it either.

He needs to leave, before he can do anything he will regret.
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The curse is working wonderfully, Shen Yuan thinks. He barely got to the castle and he already received a gift? It's going to be even easier than he thought. He only hopes Mobei-jun didn't like that cape that much.

Notes:

Mobei-jun will proceed to stay shirtless for the rest of the story.

Chapter 8: Fearless Hero

The tower is old, and slippery with moss, and parts of it crumble under his feet, making him dangle dangerously from above. His own sweat blinds him at times, but he can't let go of the wall, the handles too precarious to give him this kind of luxury. Many times, he has to stay immobile and hold his breath, to make sure he is not going to be spotted. Even the animals that live on this land are cursed. The crows taunt him pull on his hair and try to peak at his eyes. But he is resilient. He is almost there. He...

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Shen Yuan hears the sound of something scratching the outside of his window.

He opens it to see a little gray cat hanging dangerously from the wall. Poor thing! What a terrible soul would let a helpless cute animal like this in such a place. He carefully picks the adorable little creature up and takes it back inside the warmth of his room in his arms.

"Unhand me this instant!" He hears. He looks around but there is no one else in the room with him. He looks at the cat again. The cat looks exactly the same. "I know you think you are helping, and I thank you for your kindness, but I was perfectly capable of getting in on my own."

"A talking cat?" What a stupid question. Why is he even surprised? Yet, the system still refuses to admit this is a rip-off Shrek? He puts the cat down. "I am sorry. I wasn't aware cats could talk."

As if it's perfectly normal, the cat gets up on two feet and starts fixing his fur. "It's not appropriate to pick a man up without permission like that. But I will let it slide since you really didn't know. This one's name is Sir Liu Qingge." He makes an elaborate bow. "I am looking for a princess that needs to be saved."

"Well, I am sorry, but I am afraid there is no princess that needs to be saved right now." He says, crouching down, still looking puzzled. In a way, he needs to be saved... But wouldn't it be a bit anticlimactic? How would this little cat save him anyway? System? What the fuck is that?

The system's screen lights up, showing a new character profile.

Title: Sir Liu Qingge.
Characther's role: ????
Background: ????
Reveal the back story to unlock a bonus scene!

Strangely, the character profile also shows a picture on top of the description. A picture of a man?

"I am sorry..." The cat eyes him annoyed. He really is saying a lot of "I am sorry"s but what can he do? The situation is weird! "But you just said you are a man...?"

"Yes." He doesn't elaborate.

"A human man?"

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"So... When did you start...looking like that?"

"I was cursed by a witch."

"...You know how to break the curse?"

"Yes."

"...Are you working on it?"

"Not really. It doesn't affect my fighting abilities. I could still take the whole King's army with a paw behind my back. And I can get in smaller spaces now." See? witches are rad.

Well, good work Shen Yuan. Time to hit the showers. What is the bonus scene?

WHAT? That's it?

Well, he is a hero, he was cursed by a witch, and now he is a cat. There is not a lot to it. It's not like he is a very talkative character anyway.

USER! (╯ ಠдಠ) ╯︵┻━┻

I remember being promised a bonus scene...

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Two almost naked ladies scream at him.

The shorter one sprints at him and takes a punch. It's more painful than expected, but he bears it honorably, as he was the one in the wrong. The smaller lady, like many of the other residents of the land, carries many non-human traits. Her eyes have a pinkish tone to it, her ears are pointed, and so are her teeth. Her moves are accompanied by jiggling sounds. Maybe she is some kind of jester?

"Hualing!" The second lady cried from the bed, she covered her head with the blanket.

The lady, Hualing, doesn't reply. She seems to be cursing him in a language he doesn't understand. He tries to explain, his eyes, closed out of respect.

"Please, forgive me. There is a misunderstanding. I foolishly believed he could've been here...I am looking for something the Dark Lord took from me. "

He hears movement. The second voice appears again. "He...?"

There are a couple of back-and-forth murmurs he can't quite comprehend and the rustle of clothes. He can barely catch broken phrases. "If he says "my heart" I am going to puke..." and "But what if they are star-crossed lovers?". He opens his eyes when the first lady says "I just think someone who tries to invade someone's room like that can't carry good intentions."

"No! Please don't get me wrong! I am looking for someone very dear to me. He needs my help." The second lady has very beautiful eyes. The rest of her face is covered by an opaque veil. In fact, she is suddenly one of the most covered-up people he has ever seen in his life. He could mistake her for a nun. The first lady is still naked. He closes his eyes again.

"Yeah. Your "help", we know." Says the first lady. He does not approve of her tone. It's disrespectful.

"Hualing." The second one is much more patient, her tone is severe. "What is happening? You may open your eyes. She won't mind. We will see how we can help you." Her voice is kind.

"If." The other is not.

Yue Qingyuan is very thankful. He keeps his gaze above her head, respectfully still. "A dear friend has been taken hostage by the Lord of this lands."

"That's what they all tell their parents." Hualing elbowed the veiled lady. A stern look discourages her. She pouted, crossing her arms. "Well, it's you and which army? I don't see how a silly little human like yourself, all alone, expects to ask anything of the Lord. "

The knight lowers his head in shame. "I swore I would protect him with my life, but I failed him. It's my responsibility to bear. I am going to make up for it now, or die trying. It's the least I can do."

"This guy is going to die." The smaller woman murmurs. She thinks he can't hear or doesn't care.

The veiled lady ignores her. "It's a noble cause."

"Either way we cannot help him." The conversation continues without him. "You know better than intervening in the Lord's business. And he could very well be lying. We don't know him."

It's fair. It's his curse. He always gets either too eager and ends up ruining things or he is much too late. Not anymore tough. He is going to fix things this time, once and for all.

He kneels on the floor, using the sheath of his sword as support. He is not unsheathing it anytime soon. Not before he can regain his honor. Not before he can use it to cut the dragon's head clean off in the Prince's name and present it to him in a silver tray. Along with his heart.

"This one's name is Yue Qingyuan, knight of the noble Cang Qiong Kingdom. I serve under Crown Prince Shen Qingqiu's hand and swear to protect him with my life, a duty I've been lacking. My only wish is to bring him back home and free the people of this land from the Dark Lord's claws in his honor, in hopes he can forgive this one's faults."

Both ladies took a few steps away from him as if he was cursed. They both seem to want to crawl into themselves. The taller woman looks at him almost apologetic, as if he pities him, while the other one can't help to keep her eyes still, looking around as if scared of something. He does not understand where this behavior comes from. Have they heard of him somehow? Or perhaps one of the lies envious commoners spread about their prince has reached this part of the world? Maybe it's simpler than that. He knows the people of this land cannot voice their discontent about their ruler because this could be considered treason and the Dark Lord is known to be a cruel and unfair man.

They turn their backs to him again and seem to have a small disagreement, this time, keeping their voices low enough so he cannot hear. When they turn around, both look stern. The veiled one says "I am afraid we cannot help you."

"We appreciate keeping our heads glued to our necks, thank you very much." The other agrees.

He is not displeased. He does not expect others to offer a helping hand, especially if it would put their lives at risk. This weight is his to bear. He bows again, nonetheless. "This one understands. I won't trouble you anymore than I have so far, but, would appreciate to be pointed to the correct path so I can be on my way."

Both of the women exchange a glare. They seem to have another conversation with their eyes alone, until Hualing sighs and walks away, going around him, while the taller woman puts a hand on his shoulder. "I hope everything turns out well for you."

"If you survive enough to look the Lord in the face, don't tell him you know us!" Is everything he hears before he is surprised by a powerful kick on his back. He tries to balance himself on instinct, but again, is not expecting the woman to open a trapdoor out of nowhere. They both know as he falls inside, and rolls down a very dark staircase for a long, long time.
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Activation complete. Enjoy the bonus scene.

User didn't deserve it, so make it count. (ʘ‿ʘ🌺)

Shen Qingqiu hears footsteps by the door. He quickly grabs the cat from under its armpits and it produces the most outraged yowling sound. It does sound a lot cat-like, so he supposes he is safe.

"Shhhhhhhhh!" He says, holding the cat's mouth shut, just in case.

The Dark Lord doesn't knock on the door before entering his room.

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Luo Binghe thinks it's stupid and maybe too soon. Worse, it's like he is endorsing the prince's bad behavior! And the man probably won't even like it, being the spoiled brat he is. But, the dragon can not help but feel the need to make his presence known. His skin still crawls from imagining someone else showering the prince with gifts. It's fine, he thinks. It's not too obvious... Why does he care so much about what the man will think anyway?

When he opens the door, he is surprised by a quite endearing scene. Shen Qingqiu is holding a small gray cat in his arms. At first, he thinks the cat may have stolen something from it, as he is holding its face while the cat tries to trash around. But it must be a known cat, a well-loved cat even. Are those little boots the cat is wearing? He can't hold himself back from smiling fondly.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that humans are soft creatures and Shen Qingqiu is a resilient and sometimes sharp-tongued man, but overall, he is delicate. Luo Binghe admits his action may have been harsh. He brought a prince to an unknown land, knowing his heart knows how it feels to be stolen from home and treated poorly. He must be scared and alone. Luo Binghe is not doing a good job as a host. He is worrying so much that the prince will escape that he forgets to make him feel welcome and actually wants to stay.

He eyes the cat jealously. It's just a stupid animal. Occupying the place he wanted so badly to be in. Effortlessly. He is sounding insane even in his own head. Shen Qingqiu has seemingly added his outer robe to the covers of his bed. It's a shame to use such a powerful material so frugally, but he approves nonetheless. It's not like they were going to fit him anyway. He is glad to know his offering has been picked up at all.

He is more confident to offer his second gift. "This Lord happened to remember Prince Shen had to come in a bit of a hurry and didn't have the time to pick up his fan. I am aware that it's a possession he has a habit of carrying, no? I hope it's an appropriate substitute."

The Prince hesitantly opens his hand to receive the object from him. It's beautifully painted with a pattern of bamboo. The metal had been specially forged to be light, but also strong, the type to be used as a weapon. He is not sure if Shen Qingqiu has been taught how to fight, but he thinks it matches his personality. He stares as the Prince's eyes widen at the sight. He doesn't hide his satisfaction. Neither does the dragon.

"It's beautiful, Binghe. Thank you." He says.

No one calls him "Binghe". He does not comment on it. The cat makes a gagging sound.

Notes:

How should SQQ enjoy his bonus scene?
I wasn't going to do YQY this dirty, but I couldn't help it after the comments saying he was definitely going to the wrong tower... So I decided to include LQG instead, he is my blorbo and SY reversed an animal companion.
BTW, it's never going to be mentioned in the story, but the only reason why LBH has the fame of kidnapping princesses is because he has to pick up SHL's girlfriends sometimes. He is an ally.

Notes:

Noooooooo, not me again putting unnecessary plot in some random but very specific porn scene I wanted to write and that now is not going even to happen in this chapter. Don't mind me. I don't know what I am doing.