mint aftertaste

by exiztr

Summary:

Yoonji tastes like cigarettes and dreams.

(part 2 of (you look beautiful), read this first!)

Chapter 1: I.

part 2 of (you look beautiful) read it first !

*+*+*

"Rude," Namjoo chuckled, nudging Taehee in the ribs.

The younger girl shrugged in reply, separating her hair from her mouth, sticky with lipgloss. "She was staring at me like some cheap whore on the street."

Jungha was quick with her reply, almost so quick when it was to bicker with her Taehee-unnie. "Isn't it what you are?", it was a predictable tease, but Taehee still bickered back, teasing her about her own mini-skirt, barely long enough to cover the curve of her ass, much to Hosook's chagrin.

They were currently out, and yes, out: it was too cold, out, almost freezing, but half of their group friends were dressed in skirts too short and top that let out basically their whole chest (earning themselves some glares from grandmas and whispered words from basically everybody else). Jungha was loving the attention, even if it was a bad one; Taehee was a bit less fond of it, but she didn't care much, only crossing her arms on her exposed chest when some creepy dude stared at it for too long.

They were on their way to a club, something not that usual for them: they all rather sit in a bar or at Jimin and Taehee's place, drink some beers and play a card game, smoke a bit. They weren't all that into being squished by too-drunk people and killing your body with dancing for too long, spending too much for a cocktail and puking it all out in too dirty bathrooms, but hey: sometimes, Hosook wanted to dance, and Soojin wanted to fuck. Nothing wrong with that.

They were all a little buzzed, just enough to be drunk with a single cocktail ordered, but not enough to be denied entry: after so many nights out, they knew where their limit stood, and they were all giggling a bit too much, but it wasn't noticeable if you didn't know them. They were professionals, after all.

"Is this the one with the pink bathrooms?", Hosook asked as they made their way to the back of the line, a somewhat excited smile on her face.

Soojin rolled her eyes. "Yes," she lifted her finger before Hosook could even screech. "But I'm not spending half the night taking mirror pictures with you in there," and it was enough for Hosook's sudden joy to die down, her lips puckering out in a small pout.

"It's okay, unnie," a sweet voice said just behind Jimin, too sweet, dripping of affection. "I'll take them with you."

Jimin didn't even need to turn around to know who it was, but the soft tone and strange gleam in Hosook's eyes was enough to tell her exactly the identity of the girl behind her: she turned to Taehee, stuck to her side to keep herself warm, and they shared an eye-roll.

"Whipped," Taehee giggled in Jimin's ears, before dipping down and placing a overly-long kiss on the side of her neck, and-

Whipped.

Oh, yeah.

Jimin lifted up her eyes, too quick to find Yoonji's own gaze, set on the two of them: their unnie was cute, dressed like usual, a dark Jeans with too many holes in it (her legs were almost all out, pale skin on full display, begging to be grabbed and bit), and a tight top, just low enough to make her collarbones peek out, a delicious view.

Yoonji was ready to be eaten, and both Jimin and Taehee were ready to eat her , but it seemed to be the same way around: Yoonji couldn't seem to be able to take her eyes off the two of them, gaze constantly falling over Taehee's legs, thick and tanned, too fat to grab onto it correctly- Taehee had again taken on a few kilograms in the past months, but she seemed to be stable, now.
She was beautiful, in Jimin's opinions: she was all curves and muscles, her stomach just soft enough to bite into it, her arms toned, strong- she could lift Jimin up in a single movement, without even breaking a sweat, and she could fuck her against the wall in the same movement. It was hot as fuck, and Jimin couldn't get enough of seeing her get stronger after each sport session, seeing her play with the muscle and fatness of her thighs: Jimin became even more obsessed with her girlfriend's body, and she honestly didn't think it would be possible.

Yoonji seemed to be quite obsessed too, judging by her looks, her eyes finding Taehee's cleavage every so often, falling on her exposed legs, on the jingling of her thighs when Taehee walked- she had constant pink cheeks, and avoided eye-contact as soon as either Jimin or Taehee met her gaze. It was almost adorable, and Jimin would honestly coo if Yoonji wasn't looking at her with the same look, full of want, hunger, longing. Jimin wasn't even dressed particularly: a small black dress, tight enough to show the curve of her ass and but not enough to hug her legs, with a cropped sweater on top, just because she didn't wear any bra and didn't want weird men in the street staring at the outline of her boobs- no, that was reserved for Taehee, Yoonji (if she wanted to), and Namjoo (who had somewhat an obsession with Jimin's boobs, but in a good way). She wasn't dressed to kill, but Yoonji still looked, still blushed, and it was exquisite, so tempting to just go up to her and kiss her silly, but Jimin refrained herself, just grounding herself by holding Taehee's hand and kissing her silly instead, even if it was all the better, licking up Taehee's sweet lip gloss in her mouth and getting to squeeze the softness of her smaller back, hearing the small little sighs that the younger girl let out as she bit down on her lip

Kissing Taehee was a dream.

"Unnies, c'mon," Jungha nudged them apart, Taehee's lip gloss leaving a pink tint on Jimin's cheeks. "Act straight."

Oh, yeah. They needed to act straight to get into the club: they needed to be cute, straight, ready for guys to jump onto like meat in a market.

"Hello," Soojin smiled up to the bouncer, lips all red, and it was barely a surprise to be let inside, Jungha winking at Jimin playfully.

Ah, inside. A club.

They had to wait for Namjoo and Hosook to take off their jackets, because they're the only two sensible enough people to think of bringing a coat in the middle of november ( a hoe never gets cold , Jungha had joked when Namjoo had asked her if she wasn't going to freeze herself), but then, Hell began.

Okay, so maybe not Hell, but Taehee and Jimin weren't fond of clubs, and it didn't look like Namjoo and Yoonji were happy to be here either: they were stuck to each other side, hands clasped as if they were about to be forced apart, and carefully walking behind Soojin and Jungha. Hosook was all smiles, already bobbing her head to the music, hands grabbing onto Soojin's waist and making her sway left and right to the overly loud beat currently assaulting their ears.

"I hate it already," Jimin screamed to her girlfriend, but Taehee didn't even hear her, and fuck, Jimin hated it even more.

They somehow managed to find themselves a quiet corner around a table a while later, Taehee and Jungha making doe eyes at the couple of guys occupying it, Soojin promising them to share a dance with them later on ( I mean, the bleached hair one does look cute, so who knows? she had winked at Yoonji, and ignored her fake gag). Jimin had taken her rightful place on Taehee's laps as soon as she was seated, and Yoonji had glanced at the spread of Taehee's thighs and her arms wrapped around Jimin's waist as soon as she was sitting down as well, earning herself a smirk from the two girlfriends she was looking at.

"Tonight?", Taehee whispered in Jimin's ear, bringing goosebumps to her skin- her breath was warm, and she seemed so firm under her, hands slowly caressing her waist and tummy: it was embarrassing, but Jimin had been aroused as soon as she dropped on her girlfriend's laps, and her whispering in her ear, whispering about Yoonji , it certainly didn't help.

So she turned her head and plunged her tongue in her girlfriend's mouth, not paying any attention to Jungha and Namjoo complaining next to them, the kiss enough of an answer to Taehee's question, and she relished in the feeling of the younger girl tightening her grip on her waist, nails digging in her skin.

Fuck, yes, tonight.

It has been months . Months of starring, of blushing, of flirting playfully: Taehee displaying her body shamelessly next to Yoonji, calling her unnie in that sweet tone of her, watching how the older girl grew bright red and stuttering. Months of Jimin texting her every day, asking her for a meal, a movie night, a coffee, and Yoonji replying with emojis rolling their eyes, only to text back 2 minutes later asking when she could come pick them up.

Months of Namjoo whispering in Yoonji's ears and staring right back at Jimin and Taehee, not very subtle, letting them know exactly what was the subject of discussion.

But nothing had happened yet. Yoonji ran away every time, faking a meeting, a stomach ache, anything to pry her fingers away from Jimin's hand reaching for them, to ignore Taehee's vanilla smell attacking her nose.

But tonight. Oh, tonight. A club was maybe exactly what they needed: the slight buzz, the possibility, being lost between people and music and light, completely invisible if they needed to be. There were so many opportunities to catch in a club, so many openings, and Jimin and Taehee were both buzzing with excitement, apprehension.

"Tonight, yeah," Jimin replied against her girlfriend's mouth, hoping that the older girl in front of them was still staring at them, at Jimin's hands in Taehee's hair, hoping her heart was beating as fast as Jimin's own.

Taehee smiled, and Jimin kissed her smile. Tonight was perfect.

*+*+*

The music wasn't that good- that's what Yoonji kept complaining about to the only three people still seated at their table.

Hosook and Jungha had been MIA for the past hour, gone to take pictures in the bathroom, and there was two possibilities: either they were still at it, Jungha's phone almost to the limit of storage, or they were making out in said bathroom, something all hoped for, even their friends, sick of their little dance around each other.

Soojin was gone too: she had danced with that bleached hair boy, but he seemed to be an asshole, judging by her roll of eyes when she came back in-between, and now she was dancing with three other girls, meaning three possibilities, this time;

1. Soojin is going to be all up their asses for the next week about her new "three best friends".
2. Soojin is going to be all up their asses for the next week about "the best foursome I ever had".
3. Soojin is going to be all up their asses for the next week about one of those three girls she "fucked senseless".

Jimin bet on the third one. Taehee the second one, because their unnie was a bit freaky like that.

Namjoo and Yoonji were brooding- they hated the club. Yoonji hated the music. And Namjoo was worried for Soojin, constantly looking over where she was, hissing when a man approached them, frowning when she drank from one of the girls' glass - she could get spiked even by girls, Taehee, everybody is messed up nowadays.

"I hate remixes," Yoonji pouted at the loud beat thrumming in their ears, and Jimin almost cooed.

Taehee scoffed: she was still supporting Jimin on her laps, even if it was starting to get painful, just to get that awkward and longing look on Yoonji's face every time she looked at them.

"What don't you hate, unnie?", the younger girl teased.

Namjoo snorted, agreeing, but Yoonji only pouted harder: she didn't even look in their direction, not wanting to get lost in that sight, Taehee all spread out and looking so strong, so firm, and Jimin, dandling on her laps, hair wild on her hair: it was delicious. It made her want to reach out and kiss their cheeks and lips and hands way too much.

"Good music," Yoonji replied.

Jimin chuckled at that. “Be grateful. It could be worse,” she said, and shrugged when Yoonji cocked one eyebrow up. “Like Drake.” 

Yoonji grimaced, her face scrunching up cutely, nose all wrinkled and cheeks squished up, and God- Jimin felt Taehee grow stiff in her back, and honestly,  same: Yoonji’s nose was just begging to be bitten. To be kissed. Adored. 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Namjoo butt in, winking in their direction, and it was enough to break the spell the two younger girls were under. 

The Min Yoonji spell, aka being smitten over an emotionally tiny girl with a gummy smile. Tragic destiny. 

"Wanna go dance, unnies?", Taehee asked, looking between Yoonji and Namjoo with intense eyes- she truthfully only wanted to ask if Yoonji wanted to dance, but she didn't want to leave Namjoo alone, and she didn't want to scare Yoonji off by being too direct. "That way you can stop micro-analyzing every move Soojin-unnie does," this was directed at Namjoo, and she gasped, as if that wasn't what she had been doing for the past 20 minutes.

"Accusations!" 

Yoonji rolled her eyes. "It's true, though," she nudged her younger friend in the ribs. "C'mon, big girl, go change that foursome into a fivesome," it earned her another gasp from Namjoo, this time even more shocked and offended, and she dodged the slap Namjoo aimed for her shoulder. 

Jimin scoffed at Yoonji’s tease, not very at ease knowing that deep down, she also hoped to change her own twosome (was that a thing?) to a threesome involving Min Yoonji herself, but- not the moment. Tonight, maybe. But they needed an opportunity. 

“Unnie, dance with us?”, she turned her best doe eyes towards Yoonji, hoping it would have the effect desired, not even doubting Taehee was making the same face behind her -she was the master of the doe-eyes (after Jungha, but the younger didn’t count, she was basically a cute baby animal reincarnated), with her shining eyes and pouty lips. 

Yoonji sighed. 

Jimin pouted just a tad harder, not caring if she looked like some overgrown spoiled kid- if it worked on her unnie, humiliating herself didn’t matter. 

“Aish, you two,” the older girl shook her head. Taehee dropped her act, already smirking in victory. “C’mon.” 

She didn’t wait for them, didn’t link their fingers together in a grand romantic gesture, like Taehee dreamed about day and night: no, she just got up and left in a swift movement, small body getting lost between bigger men and taller women in a few seconds only. 

“Don’t lose her,” Namjoo’s eyes were also following Yoonji, up to the dance floor, where Soojin practically dragged her against herself. “I’ll go…check on Soojin-unnie, too.” 

Jimin almost reluctantly got up from Taehee’s laps: she was comfortable, very aroused, kind of wished to spend her entire life on those big and strong thighs, but…Yoonji. Yoonji had small thighs, and a small waist, and probably small boobs, perky pink nipple- fuck. Jimin was up in a second, hand quick to tug on Taehee’s wrist as soon as she was gone from her lap. 

“Let’s go,” she pecked her lips quickly. “Let’s not lose her, right?” 

*+*+*

The songs were still shitty, in Yoonji’s opinion, but hey, this was a club. A straight club. A popular one. 

The songs were bad, but people were still grinding hopelessly against each other, were still making out in quiet corners, and Soojin was almost doing the same, pressing her body against a taller girl, grinding her ass into her hips. 

She had pressed Yoonji in front of her, hugging her in a comforting way -not that horny thing she had going on with that stranger. 

“I thought you and Namjoo were dating,” Yoonji screamed in her ears, glancing at the taller girl behind her unnie- she was cute. Thick glasses rested on her nose, full of freckles and highlighter, and her lips were red, flashy, shiny. Yoonji could see the appeal. 

The girl glanced down at Yoonji- she winked. Yoonji averted her eyes.

“It’s platonic,” Soojin yelled back over the music. 

Yoonji nodded: it wasn’t a conversation to have in that crowded club, and Namjoo was walking up to them, the two girlfriends stalking up behind her, and God, yeah, those two lesbians were currently making Yoonji live literal Hell, and- 

“Baby!”, Soojin smiled brightly, and Yoonji screeched when the older girl pushed her almost violently, only to tug Namjoo in her place, letting Yoonji fall pathetically backwards, collapsing against a chest in a heavy movement. 

“Oof,” the person choked, and fuck, of course, yeah, it had to be Jimin, it had to be her citrusy smell, had to be the soft texture of her sweater against her nape. “This isn’t the way I expected you to fall for me.” 

Ah. 

Flirting. 

“Excuse-me?”, Yoonji was so bad at flirting. She was a mess, and currently blushing bright red, looking at Jimin like she had lost her mind: Taehee was just behind her girlfriend, holding a grin back. “Uh…”

“Dance, unnie,” Taehee rolled her eyes playfully. “You look like a stiff grandma.” 

Fingers appeared in front of her, palm up and open, ready to be grabbed, caressed, kissed, but ready to be danced with: Yoonji hesitated. She didn’t know what this was, what was happening, why Taehee and Jimin weren’t already hooking up in a dirty bathroom stalls like they usually were, why they were so adamant about dancing with her. 

So, she did what she knew best: complain. Act grumpy. “This joke was funny 10 years ago, Tae-yah…,” she whined, but her act didn’t seem to work, judging by Jimin’s eyebrows lifting up. 

“Unnie,” Taehee deadpanned, making Yoonji sigh. 

She had to give in, didn’t she? They wouldn’t bulge. And…Dancing with Taehee. With Jimin. Having their attention on her, even for a short second, for a small window, before they eventually focus back only on each other, it was kind of a dream, a thought she had only on dark and lonely nights, too ashamed otherwise. Shyly, she extended her hand, let her fingers grab onto Taehee’s stretched hand, so big and firm against hers, and she almost gasped when she was suddenly dragged forwards, closer to them, in-between the two warm bodies, Taehee behind, Jimin before her. 

“Hi,” Jimin smiled, grin so bright it could blind you, eyes almost disappearing. “Fancy seeing you there, unnie,” she joked, only to ease the mood, and Yoonji let her do, holding back her own smile. 

The song was a bit better, now: it wasn’t anything she’d listen on her own, but it made her bob her head and sway her body easily, movements helped by the firm hands on her shoulders, a mix of Jimin’s chubby fingers and Taehee’s slender ones- they were probably holding hands right there, on Yoonji’s shoulders, on her body- shit. That thought shouldn’t be as devastating as it apparently was. 

On their right, Namjoo and Soojin were pressed together, giggling between themselves as the thick glasses girl was still grinding behind Soojin, another girl now stuck to Namjoo’s own back- the sight was both cute and sinful, and Yoonji averted her eyes quickly, but- problem. 

If she didn’t look at Namjoo and Soojin, if she didn’t look at the random crowd around them…Jimin. There was only Jimin left. Jimin, and her tight dress, and her beautiful hair, so soft-looking, her lips shining with the remnants of Taehee’s own lip gloss (what a thought, Yoonji, way to go!), her cheeks pink with blush. And her eyes, gosh. Staring at Yoonji like some prey, eyes warm and sweet like honey itself, begging for a smile or a touch, and Yoonji was so weak, so ready to give her anything she wanted, anything she asked for. 

“Do you like this song better, unnie?”, a warm breath landed on her ear, making her almost squirm, and shit, Taehee’s chest was so warm against her, boobs squeezed against her back- she felt big, tall, she could drap herself over Yoonji and engulf her. 

Yoonji gulped. “Yeah,” she mouthed, and flushed when she caught Jimin smirking up at Taehee. 

She wasn’t quite sure what their goal was…She knew they wanted something. They weren’t exactly subtle in their flirting, for the past months, Taehee always almost naked, Jimin barely covering herself when she opened up the door for their usual Wednesday morning breakfast - oh, God, unnie, I had completely forgotten you were coming! (Like it wasn’t a tradition for the past year). 

It was almost endearing, and Yoonji almost fell right into it a few times, almost grabbed their hands and kissed them silly when they played around with lipstick and lip balms, but she always refrained herself, because…she didn’t know what they wanted. She wasn’t sure she could give it to them. 

Wasn’t sure they would accept it. Accept her. 

What if they just wanted a threesome? Just wanted to fuck her? Or worse, a sex-friend? 

She couldn’t bear that thought. 

“So, unnie,” Taehee started when the music changed, something slower, a bit better- Soojin started making out with the glasses girl, next to them, and Jimin did her best to not glance at that dirty exchange of tongue (Namjoo was staring shamelessly at them). 

Yoonji hummed: she was more confident in her dancing, by now, moving freely, chest constricting itself when Jimin wrapped a hand around her waist, guiding her at the same pace, Taehee still clad to her back. She felt so warm, with two bodies pressed against her, hair and mouth so close to her face, but it felt so good, to almost disappear from the crowd completely, shield by the two of them, vanilla and citrus collapsing against themselves, birthing little butterflies in her stomach. 

“Wednesday,” Taehee continued, speech slower than usual: she stretched out every word, happy to make them collapse against Yoonji’s ear and neck, to watch her squirm at the feeling. “We can’t do breakfast. I have a class that’s been postponed,” she lied, completely unashamed. 

Yoonji probably knew she was lying, though: she wasn’t dumb. But she didn’t say anything, and Jimin’s smirk grew bigger, so Taehee continued. 

“So, what about we do Wednesday breakfast tomorrow, mhm?”, she dipped her head lower, hovering above Yoonji’s bare neck, close to her collarbones, a direct view on the curve of her boobs. Yeah. Shit. 

Jimin tightened her grip on Yoonji’s waist, looking at her directly in the eyes, like challenging her to say yes or no, to take the hint, to do anything, reject them, kiss them, something- 

Yoonji closed her eyes, overwhelmed. “Wednesday breakfast on Sunday?”, she asked in a breath, felt the vibrations of Taehee’s chest as she chuckled- Jimin’s hand stroked down to rest on her hips. Taehee was so warm, behind her. She was burning up. 

“Sunday breakfast,” Jimin replied, almost dumbly, definitely closer than before Yoonji closed her eyes: she could smell the mint off Jimin’s mouth, the sweet smell of Taehee’s lip gloss still clinging to her lips and tongue, and she wondered how it tasted, if it was as sweet as it smelled. 

“Mhm,” Yoonji leaned her head backwards, completely free, roaming to the music, relishing- the hands on her body felt nice. Safe. Her head tilted until it rested against Taehee’s shoulder, baring her neck. “Sunday breakfast. I’m in.” 

Jimin’s arms circled her, hands pressing against the small of her back, detaching her just the slightest from Taehee only to press the older girl against herself, basking in Yoonji’s heat, body, fuck- everything was delicious, and Taehee tugging her small unnie back, fighting against Jimin’s grip: Yoonji felt like a doll, being passed back and fort, against Taehee’s chest and Jimin’s hands. It made her go crazy. 

“Fuck,” she whispered to herself, but Taehee was so close, of course. 

She giggled. “Mhm?”, this simple thing was said with so much smugness that Yoonji almost groaned. “Having a good time, unnie?”

If Yoonji opened her eyes, she’d see Taehee and Jimin looking at each other with excitement, with pride, with love: she’d see the blush on Jimin’s face, the hands tugging everywhere on her body, waist, hips, shoulders. She’d see how small she looked in front of Taehee, how weak she was next to Jimin. She’d see Namjoo’s knowing look on them, and Soojin shamelessly taking pictures of them while still grinding against glasses-girl. 

(Hosook and Jungha were still MIA; probably making out, by now. Finally.)

“And if I am?”, Yoonji whispered, as if afraid to say it too loud, and Jimin smiled, this time rid of the smugness Taehee had a mere second ago. 

Her fingers were gentler. Her face closer. Citruses. Yoonji wanted to taste the sourness.

“Then this means we’re doing this right,” Jimin said, right there, breath landing right on top of Yoonji’s lips, an offering, a way to yell at her, here, take, want, kiss. 

The older girl finally opened her eyes. And fuck, yes, Jimin- her eyes were dark, darker, hovering over her in the only few centimeters she had over Yoonji, telling her words of intimacy that Yoonji could only imagine, so lonely in her own head and life. 

“If you want,” Taehee slipped in her ears, another feeling, another shiver to add to Jimin’s eyes, to Jimin’s hands, Taehee’s warmth. “Whatever you want, unnie.”

Whatever you want. 

Was this a promise? Were they going to tell her that no matter what? 

Yoonji hesitated. She wanted, so much, almost needed, that balm around her heart, that pause, that rest, but she wasn’t sure: people weren’t okay with her. People weren’t used to it.

People were assholes.

Jimin and Taehee…She wasn’t sure. They were already together. 

What if it was only a threesome, for them? But then…The Sunday breakfast. The hands. The smiles. The flowers - they were already wilted. Faded.

Everything was, but this thing-...Jimin and Taehee. They were here. Against her, asking about breakfast, smelling so good, so sweet, so tempting. They were dancing with her, no matter the shitty remixes, the sticky floor, they were separated because of her, her tiny body, warm and hot all over, and Taehee was breathing against her ear, Jimin looking at her like some grandiose painting. 

“Take it.” 

And she took it. 

*+*+*

Yoonji’s lips were a bit chapped, probably because her main way of coping when she was nervous was biting down on them, picking little bits of skin and making herself bleed: it wasn’t healthy, and Soojin and Hosook had scolded her enough times, but she did it anyway. 

Her body grew stiff as soon as she pushed herself against Jimin, just pushing their lips together, nothing else: it was awkward for a quick second, before Jimin pushed and pushed, before Taehee pressed against Yoonji, making her collapse even more against Jimin, their lips moving a few centimeters- Yoonji gasped, and then she opened her mouth, and…

Jimin couldn’t contain herself at this moment, and just, grabbed: her hand shot upwards, squeezed into the fat of her cheeks, and she kissed her more deeply, lips sliding against each other in a slow dance. And fuck, Jimin could honestly explode: she felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest, every emotion too strong, too powerful in her chest, her legs almost shaking with the nervousness, the apprehension- what will happen once this kiss end?

Jimin didn’t want to know, and that’s why she just pressed herself closer, completely trapping Yoonji between the two girlfriends, tongue shyly peeking out to lick at Yoonji’s own mouth, the taste of tequila sunrise, of cheap cigarettes, of everything she longed for, late afternoons and foam-filled bathtubs. Fuck. 

Yoonji tasted delicious. Tasted like everything Jimin wanted, and so she took, grabbed, her lips and tongue and teeth, moaning when Yoonji shyly bit at her mouth, smoothing the bite with kitten-licks, earning herself yet another moan from Jimin, still hovering above her. 

There was a whine, and Jimin for a second mistook it for Yoonji’s own, but it wasn’t: it was too loud, and too far, and then Yoonji broke away from the kiss, lips bruising Jimin’s. 

“Wh-...,” Jimin started, lost, already scrambling to grab onto Yoonji’s waist, not wanting her to freak out and run away, but it didn’t seem to be the problem, here. 

“My turn,” was the last thing Jimin heard before Yoonji’s head was completely whipped around, Taehee’s lips smashing against her without finesse, hands tight on her neck- if she squeezed any tighter, it’d bruise. 

And Jimin wanted to pry Taehee’s fingers away, afraid that Yoonji wouldn’t like it, that she’d grow stiff and uneasy, but then Yoonji was whining too, mouth lost between Taehee’s lips, all pink and sweet around her mouth, just like Jimin was a few minutes ago. 

“Shit,” Jimin cursed, incredibly turned on, incredibly attracted by the way Yoonji was melting in Taehee’s arms, surrounded by their warm, taller bodies. She pressed herself closer, never close enough, forehead bumping into Yoonji’s temple. 

“Unnie,” she said in her ear, and the little whimper that came out of Yoonji’s mouth was proof enough of her listening. “How good does Taehee taste, unnie?”, she breathed right over her ear, hot puff landing on the warm skin, making Yoonji squirm against both their hold. “Does she taste like me?” 

Jimin knew she didn’t: Taehee was sweeter, stronger, and Jimin almost always tasted like mint, because of her mint toothpaste, mint chewing-gum, mint everything. Taehee tasted like her lip gloss, Jimin tasted like lip balm, sometimes plain, sometimes cherry flavored. 

And Yoonji. She tasted like matte lipstick. Wood. Cold cigarettes. Dreams and thoughts and just pure love. 

Jimin eyed Yoonji’s neck, twisted to be able to kiss Taehee correctly, her pale skin, the mole standing there, so tempting to collapse against, to kiss and kiss until there isn’t any breath left in her body- it was tempting, but Yoonji’s hands were balled into little fists at the side of her body, and she was frowning and whimpering, and Jimin wasn’t sure it was the right moment. 

Instead, she let her fingers trail down, leaving little tickles behind, let them fall in a caress until they were around the slender wrist, until they were around the big and pale hands, massaging them slowly: just as slowly, Yoonji let herself relax, tight fist opening until her palms were open, warm, sticky with sweat, and Jimin didn’t waste a second before intertwining their fingers, pressing both her hands onto her unnie’s skin. 

“Unnie,” Taehee sighed in her mouth, humming when Yoonji rested her forehead against her own. She seemed calmer, now, more relaxed: sagged against Taehee’s body, her thumbs unconsciously caressing Jimin’s hands, a barely-there smile on her pretty lips. “I want your lips sewed on mine.” 

Ah. 

Jimin rolled her eyes, way too used to her girlfriend’s antics, but Yoonji grew still once again, pretty frown on her features, a wrinkle showing up between her eyebrows. 

“Yoonji-unnie,” Jimin said, this time, and Yoonji seemed to grow more conscious, more nervous, her hands slowly extracting themselves from Jimin’s own palms. “Can-...We need to talk.” 

Way to ruin the mood- Yoonji gulped down, lifting up her head from where it was still resting against Taehee’s shoulder, hair a mess (some…dirty thoughts came to Jimin’s mind), and she looked around herself like it would help her, like there was a magical portal or something to get her out of here. 

Jimin did too- she found Soojin too quickly, Namjoo lost in her neck, who winked at the three of them, a bit of mischief in her eyes, like she wasn’t all up between at least 3 different girls herself, and Jimin just scoffed and averted her eyes back on her small unnie in front of her, who now had her eye wide open, staring at Jimin like some kind of alien, and-

“Unnie?”, Taehee asked. Jimin knew her well enough to discern the worry in her voice. 

Yoonji’s cheeks were bright red, but it could be because of the stuffing heat in the club, and her eyes were planted in Jimin’s own gaze, impossible to read. 

“I’m going out for a smoke,” she blurted out, barely loud enough for Jimin to understand, but she let her go when Yoonji maneuvered her way out of their arms, their grip. She was a bit lost: they all were. “Uh,” Yoonji cleared her throat, risking a glance towards Taehee, big round eyes. “Yeah.” 

Taehee and Jimin watched her leave, with big steps, hair bobbing up and down as she rushed to the entrance of the club, getting lost in the crowd in only a matter of seconds, tiny silhouette engulfed by people dancing and laughing and drinking- 

“Jimin!”, Taehee pulled on her arm as soon as Yoonji disappeared. “We can’t-...We-...”

Jimin’s heart was somewhat between breaking apart and falling to the depth of her stomach, and she didn’t know which one she’d like better, but she squeezed her fingers around Taehee’s, trying to comfort her. 

“She’s going for a smoke,” she said. Taehee didn’t even hear her. 

They both were still starring in the forever moving crowd. Undying. 

Yoonji: there, somewhere. 

*+*+*

Yoonji’s mind was only made of curse. Shit, fuck. Fucking hell. Dumbass motherfucker whore of a girl. 

Yeah. Crazy to think she was actually 24, and not some pre-teenager who just learned how to cuss. 

Her cigarette was halfway smoked, dangling from her fingers, smoke elevating in the air- it was the last one in her pack. Fucking shame. She could smoke at least 4, right now. 

And Hosook wasn’t replying to her texts. (Her countless hosook please reply oh my god i’m going to pee myself please if you love me reply to me fucking HELL). 

And it was so fucking cold, too: her fingers were threatening to fall apart. How crazy it was when barely a few minutes ago, Jimin’s hot hands were squished between them, so soft, so promising. 

Yeah. Crazy. Fucking hell. 

Her mouth was still full of mint and citruses. Cigarettes. Lip gloss, lip balm, her own lipstick. The combinations of a god. 

“Unnie?”, a voice called. And there was a lot of unnie, but Yoonji still turned, glanced at the door, opened, letting the loud music buzz outside of the club. The beat was still insufferable. “Yoon-unnie?” 

Yoon. 

“Jim-...,” she started, surprised to find the other girl there, Taehee in tow, looking around the people like they were looking for her, worried for her. 

Taehee turned to her at the sound of her voice. “Oh, thank God,” she said, making Yoonji frown. “We thought you left,” and there she was, walking towards her in big steps, with her big legs, fatness dangling from her thighs, skin on full display. Mhm. 

“Left?”, Yoonji repeated to herself, surprised. Left? Alone? As a girl? 

In what world did Taehee live, exactly? 

“Uhm, no,” she replied, flicking the ashes from her cigarette. “I’m here.” 

God, it was so awkward: were these the two girls that shoved their tongue in her mouth a few minutes ago? The one against whom she grinded, the other one who held her hand so tenderly? 

The one looking at her right now like she was some kind of aggressive cat? 

“Uh, what’s up…,” fuck, why was she so awkward? She was such a bad social person. Ugh. 

“We were worried,” Jimin talked, joining her girlfriend to her side, eyes casted on Yoonji. “Thought you left.” 

“Yeah, uh…You already said that.” 

“Mhm, yeah,” Taehee smiled dumbly: she was a bit drunk. A bit nervous. “I mean, we need to talk.” 

“We do,” Yoonji confirmed. They had a lot of things to say, to talk about: Yoonji probably more than them. She didn’t know what she was supposed to represent for the two girlfriends, a fuckbuddy, just a one-night stand, something more…She didn’t know if she wanted to clarify that. If she wanted to hurt herself. 

Everything was complicated. And her cigarette was almost done. 

“So, uh…We can, like, go grab a coffee?”, Taehee bite down on her lip nervously, a habit that Yoonji shared with her. 

“A coffee?”, Yoonji tilted her head to the side, exhaling smoke from her cigarette, flicking some ashes off. She noticed the way Taehee’s eyes focused on her lips, the way Jimin licked her own mouth when smoke erupted from Yoonji’s own. She noticed, because she looked at their mouths and lips too, but she couldn’t. Couldn’t hurt herself, not again. 

“Taehee, we-...,” Jimin noticed Yoonji’s uneasiness. “It’s a bit late, for a coffee.” 

“A fast-food, then?” 

“Tae-yah,” Yoonji pressed her fingers to her eyes, smudging her mascara slightly. “I’m tired, honestly.” 

Tired physically, emotionally: she wanted to sleep. Die, maybe. 

Certainly not hurt her poor little heart over some greasy cheddar fries. She needed a new pack of cigarettes for that. 

“Unnie,” Jimin took a step, grabbed onto Yoonji’s free hand. Warm. Soft.  “We can talk tomorrow, yeah? Can you-...Do you want to sleep at ours? Cuddle?” 

What? 

Yoonji could honestly swear she was hallucinating: Jimin. Cuddling. With Taehee, and her. 

Wasn’t-...This wasn’t making any sense. Fuck. Maybe cheddar fries weren’t such a bad idea. 

“Cuddle?”, she hummed, confused. Cuddle. 

With Jimin and Taehee- what the hell? 

Jimin didn’t seem to find that as crazy, though: she just smiled, nodded at her. Her fingers were slowly caressing her wrist by now, and Yoonji threw the butt of her cigarette to the ground. “Yeah,” Jimin followed the rolling of the butt, before glancing back at her unnie again. “We’re all so tired, and we…We obviously need to talk, right?”, she risked a glance towards Taehee, who nodded, confirming her words. “We can talk around breakfast tomorrow.” 

Oh. Sunday breakfast, instead of Wednesday breakfast. 

There were a lot of things. Maybe this wasn’t a one night stand after all. 

“Mhm?”, Yoonji looked at Taehee with a questioning gaze. 

And Taehee tilted her head, mirroring her unnie’s expression a few minutes ago. “Cuddles, unnie? We can have hot cocoa for tomorrow morning,” Taehee extended one hand, fingers almost shaking with the cold, the nervousness. 

Yoonji wasn’t strong enough. 

She…She was just a useless queer girl, after all, crushing on her two younger friends pathetically, and there they were, offering her cuddles, kisses, holding her hands like she was precious and loved. 

Yoonji sighed: in a single movement, she grabbed onto Taehee’s fingers. 

“Cuddles,” she nodded. 

*+*+*

“Bed?”, Jimin asked in a whisper as she tugged off her shoes, sighing in relief once her toes were free, wiggling them on the ground.

Taehee circled one arm around Yoonji’s waist, bumping their head together. It was comforting, in a way. “Oh, yeah,” she exhaled loudly. “I’m fucking beat.” 

They walked around the apartment in familiar movements, letting their jacket fall on the ground, throwing their earrings on tables like they didn’t matter: Yoonji stayed put, somehow a stranger to all of this, her shoes carefully tidied up on the entry carpet. 

“Unnie?”, Jimin called for her, lifting one eyebrow up: she had her fingers intertwined with Taehee’s own hand, their hair wild on their head, eyes small from the tiredness consuming their bodies. “You still have a toothbrush here, right?” 

Yoonji gulped down. “Yeah,” she nodded. remembering the pink toothbrush Jimin offered her with a timid grin a few weeks ago after a sleepover at their place, Jungha and Soojin already sleeping on the bare floor. 

She followed the two younger girls with uneasy steps, feeling a bit weird and uncomfortable about entering their bathroom, their intimacy like that (so what if they made out half an hour ago?), avoiding eye-contact as she brushed her teeth: she could feel Jimin and Taehee looking at her with questions, with wants, their eyes like written words, but she couldn’t. Not tonight. 

So, as soon as she put away her toothbrush, she shyly walked back to the living room, already eyeing the ugly Star Wars plaid carefully folded on the couch. 

“Uh, Yoonji-unnie?”, a soft voice called for her, probably just as shy as Yoonji felt, the thought almost comforting. “W-Where are you going?”, it was Jimin, looking at her with doe-eyes, full of sleep and confusion. 

Taehee was behind her girlfriend, chin hooked on her shoulder and looking at her with the same level of confusion. 

“Uh…couch?”

“Couch?”, Taehee replied, hands trailing around her girlfriend’s body, landing on her flat stomach. “Unnie…,” she sighed, then stood straighter, extracted herself from Jimin’s body in long, slender movements. 

And she was walking towards her, eyes set on her small frame. “What? Wasn’t I supposed-...,” Yoonji gasped when Taehee enveloped her with her arms, yanking her away from the couch. “Yah, Kim Taehee!”

Jimin giggled: the sight was cute. Taehee pulling Yoonji with her, the smaller girl thrashing around and complaining, but following anyway, cheeks growing redder by the second. 

“Come cuddle with us, unnie,” Taehee talked against her hair, shuffling her nose deeper into it: Yoonji looked half-mortified, half-endeared. “You smell so good.” 

“Oh, God,” Yoonji whined, throwing some kind of unreadable glance towards Jimin, who only giggled. 

It was only a matter of minutes before they were into bed, changed into comfy pajamas, large t-shirts and soft shorts, Yoonji settled in the middle of the established couple, lying on her back, staring intensely at the ceiling. She seemed uncomfortable, and Jimin almost pulled away from her, offering the couch again, if only she didn’t catch the way Yoonji’s pinky wrapped around Taehee’s own finger, the way her feet pressed themselves against Jimin’s calves. Her affection was subtle, contrary to her rosy cheeks and almost inapparent smile, but it was there, if you looked hard enough, and so Jimin stayed, in the bed, clinging to her side. 

“Tomorrow,” she started in the dark, Taehee’s hums an encouragement to keep talking. “Pancakes, eggs, all that American crap? Big breakfast, right?”

Yoonji gulped loudly, murmuring a single affirmation, a quick syllable- Taehee shuffled around, turned to her side to catch sight of Jimin and Yoonji. 

 “Taehee, we still have the coffee unnie likes?”, Jimin glanced at her. Even in the moonlight, Taehee looked beautiful: her features were highlighted by the soft light, eyes darker than usual, hair framing her face like a constant river. 

She was so pretty, enough to make Jimin’s breath itch. 

“Yeah,” Taehee replied, voice sleepy. “We have hot cocoa too.” 

Jimin hummed, and the room fell silent again- right until someone else spoke, surprising the two girlfriends, making their chest collapse: a small voice, almost nonexistent. “You two are so cute,” Yoonji spoke in the darkness. 

Fuck. Jimin could die for her. 

And Taehee too, judging by her coo. “Awh, unnie. You are so cute. Did you hear that, Jimin?”, she shuffled closer, bringing a hand to Yoonji’s cheek, stroking the softness there. 

Yoongi hissed, making Jimin scoff: she wanted to tease her some more, and so she did, turning around to press herself closer again, watching Yoonji’s side profile, button nose, squishy cheeks. “Hard to miss when I’m literally 3 centimeters away from her boobs,” Jimin bit down on her smile, but it wasn’t enough to prevent it when Yoonji turned shocked eyes to her. 

“Ash!”, she slapped Jimin’s shoulder. 

Taehee erupted into quiet giggles, forehead falling onto Yoonji’s collarbones- and Yoonji let her. She let her, and even lifted a hand to card through her hair, Jimin growing so warm in her stomach at the sight. 

“We’ll talk more tomorrow, unnie,” Taehee’s voice was muffled by the collarbones, the pale skin. “Don’t worry your pretty little head.”

“I’m not.” 

“Uhm, I know you are. I can hear it.” 

A beat of silence. Then, a sigh. “Sorry,” Yoonji glanced up at Jimin, looking for something the younger girl was happy to give her. 

“Don’t apologize,” she smiled.  “We’ll eat breakfast, and then…,” she was a bit drunk, wanted to tease her, to ease the mood, and so she winked, even if Yoonji probably couldn’t see it in the dark. “Maybe eat dessert, if everything goes well.”

“Jimin! How inappropriate!”, Taehee gasped, head coming right up from Yoonji’s neck to glare at her girlfriend. 

“What? Isn’t that what happens logically?” 

Taehee was clearly thinking the same: she was smiling so hard, bread cheeks to die for, but still, she shook her head. “Jimin-ah,” she said quietly, eyes glancing at Yoonji, who already had her eyes closed, her breath even. 

“Okay, sorry, I guess. Let’s just go to sleep, before we scare unnie off, mhm?”, Jimin bumped a finger over the cute button nose, obtaining no reply.  “Unnie?”

“Oh?”, Taehee frowned. “Is she asleep already?”, one of her own fingers caressed Yoonji’s cheeks, digging in the fatness. 

“Apparently.” 

“Good. At least she missed the dessert comment. You fucking pervert,” Taehee dropped, laying down and closing the blanket around the three of them, missing the gasp from Jimin. 

“Yah! I’m older than you.” 

“And creepier!”, Taehee countered, sticking her tongue out playfully. 

Jimin sighed. “Go to sleep, now. Hush,” she wanted to kiss Yoonji good night, but she was already asleep, so she’d have to wait for tomorrow morning; it sucked, but hey. She had enough of Yoonji tonight, making-out with the girl for the past hour, dancing so close, speaking in her ears like that- Gosh, they brushed their teeth together. 

They were almost cuddling. How domestic? 

“Good night, loves,” Taehee whispered, making Jimin smile again. 

Was that what happiness felt like? 

*+*+*

“Jimin-ah?”, someone was shaking her, too strongly, too early. 

Jimin whined. “Tae-yah, don’t…,” she pushed the younger girl away, turning around and burying her head in Yoonji’s pillow, smelling so good of her. Ah. What a pretty memory. “What do you want?”, she asked her girlfriend, clearly distressed judging by her nervous stimmer and her little sighs and groans. 

“Yoonji-unnie! She left.”

 

*+*+*

my twitter

Chapter 2: II.

There was still the bitter aftertaste of her cigarette lingering in her mouth: she wanted to blame the bitterness of her heart on that nicotine stick too, but she knew it wasn’t that, the reason- it was a whole other thing, a heart-wrenching reason that had two faces, two names, two pairs of lips, a sweet tone of mint, vanilla. 

She shuffled on her feet, uneasy. Hosook was much lighter next to her: she was always more elegant, due to her constant dancing, but she was also happier, smoother, just generally in a good mood, and her smile had barely vanished since Sunday 12:03 pm, exactly the time at which Yoonji had showed up to her porch with panicked eyes and flushed cheeks (hosook oh my god help me i feel like my heart is being tore open).

Hosook had barely stopped smiling, and it seemed to compensate for Yoonji’s absolutely morose mood for the past days. Yes, she was miserable. Yes, she was the one who left on Sunday morning, the one who ignored Taehee’s calls and texts, Jimin’s Instagram and Twitter DMs (yes, it was that pathetic). 

She didn’t regret it: she couldn’t. She didn’t have much of a choice, did she? 

“C’mon,” Hosook circled her arm with her own, trying to comfort her. “You need to face them one day or another.” 

She was right, of course; Hosook rarely wasn’t. She was somewhat the little reasonable voice inside Yoonji’s head, telling her another cigarette right now definitely isn’t needed, unnie, or patting her on the shoulder, whispering you’ll order chicken next week-end, unnie, go eat a salad, it’s better. 

But Yoonji wished she could just…avoid Taehee and Jimin. For the rest of her life. She wished they’d disappeared from her mind- she wished nothing ever happened on Saturday night, that they just did as usual, disappear after a few hours to fuck each other, slip an affectionnate kiss on their 4 unnies (+ Jungha’s) foreheads, a silent promise to text them when they were home. 

But no! Oh, no! 

Of course, they had to ask her to dance, had to press together. Jimin had to kiss her, because why not? She had to kiss her and whisper pretty words there, onto her skin, her ears, and Taehee had to squeeze her tight enough to make her explode from inside, and fuck, they had to cuddle her all night long like some past lovers. 

And they had to talk. About breakfast,  And…dessert. Because of course. 

“Unnie?”, a voice, maybe the prettiest, pulled her from her thoughts, too loud for her. 

She lifted her eyes, easily finding Taehee’s own gaze: the girl barely even looked at Hosook, fixing her stare on her smaller unnie, clad in her usual too large clothes, sweater almost engulfing her whole frame. 

Yoonji starred right back: it was dinner night. And Taehee was…breath-taking. Pink lips, straight black pants, tight baby blue top: she looked like she had to do an important presentation in front of a whole crowd, in the best way possible. Her thighs were…big. Stretching the pants. 

Yeah. 

Yoonji gulped down. “Oh- uh…Taehee. Hi,” she bowed, which was stupid as fuck, because she had just cuddled the girl a few nights prior, exchanged saliva and lipstick with her, but here she was, bowing. 

Ah...Hosook scoffed at her, and Taehee frowned, and fuck, Yoonji took a step back, ready to bolt, but- 

“Are you leaving?”, Hosook tightened her grip on her arm, preventing her from moving any further, and yes, Yoonji kinda hated her for that, kinda swore to herself that she’d screenshot every embarrassing text Hosook ever sent her gushing over Jungha and showed it to the younger girl, and she’ll see if she still has that stupid smug smile, this-

“Unnie?”, Taehee tilted her head to the side. Her hair followed in pretty waves: they were black again. It was a nice contrast after the light pink hair she milked for month, the color turning ugly for the last few weeks; the black was unreal on Taehee, at least in Yoonji’s opinion. 

Yoonji tried to not focus on her hair too much. Or on her thighs, her stomach, soft and exposed to the cold air- she focused on her words. And flushed deep red. “No!”, she exclaimed, even though she had taken a step back, even though she wanted to bolt out of here. “No, I just, uhm-...forgot. A thing.” 

“What thing?”, Taehee didn’t seem amused at all: she deadpanned at Yoonji, looking right past her bullshit. 

“Just, my…My thing,” even more bullshit. 

Yeah. She didn’t look good at all: she had ditched Taehee and Jimin, ghosted them for almost a full week. She was almost surprised she didn’t have Taehee’s hand printed on her cheek by now, but…Jimin was more the type to smack her. So there was still a 50% chance. 

Her best friend was very amused, though. “Her dignity,” she scoffed, making Yoonji gasp in horror. 

“Hosook!”

She didn’t need to humiliate her like that, but it certainly confirmed Yoonji’s idea to screenshot her text and send them to Hosook’s new girlfriend, who-

“Bold of you to say that when it took you two years to kiss me,” someone snorted from behind Taehee. 

Well. Speaking of the devil. 

Jungha was cute, wearing her usual large clothes too, gray sweatpants and a hoodie that looked suspiciously just like one Hosook owned, a big smile morphing her face into pure joy. 

“Don’t turn this against me,” Hosook complained, quick to detangle herself from Yoonji to slip in the apartment, slipping past Taehee and landing against Jungha’s body, 

And oh. Lesbians were so disgusting, Yoonji grimaced as Jungha pressed her lips against Hosook’s own, the kiss just a second too long, too wild, tongue visible even from where Yoonji stood. 

It was awkward. Taehee was still staring at her, only her, dark eyes boring into her. 

She spoke, then, and it seemed softer, maybe less assured. “Unnie?”, her frame pushed against the doorframe, letting her decide- 

Yoonji softened. Her crush was unbearable. 

She shouldn’t, but sue her, Taehee was so cute, skin smooth and on full display, eyes pretty with shining red eyeshadows. 

“Hey,” Yoonji took a step forwards. She was so weak for those two girls. 

The reaction was worth every heart-break, though: the smile, so big, teeth on full display, mouth slightly open. “Hi, unnie,” Taehee whispered, hands stretching towards her. “Give me your jacket.” 

*+*+*

Dinner. 

Yoonji, honestly, was relieved: she thought it’d be a lot worse. More awkward. 

She had avoided and ghosted the two hosts after making out with them, after all. And after years of being friends. It was material enough for an awkward night. 

But thankfully, it wasn’t. Jimin ushered her between Soojin and Jungha, offered her the kind of beer she liked, the snacks they always stored specifically for her, salted almonds and shrimp chips- 

“Tell me if you want another beer,” Jimin had singsung between making her way back to her own seat, pressed to Taehee’s side, and that was it: they hadn't talked directly for the rest of the night. 

And maybe it wasn’t awkward because the two girlfriends and Yoonji just…weren’t talking to each other. Just looked, glanced, stared; Taehee doing the staring, barely letting a few seconds pass before her eyes were on Yoonji, always, detailing her button nose, her pale lips. Yoonji had put on some mascara, done her eyebrows, styled her hair. 

She had a pimple above her left eyebrow. It was bright red. 

And Taehee wanted to kiss it, as pathetic as it sounded. 

Beside this…obvious staring, and tension, that everybody was aware of, Jungha and Namjoo sharing barely subtle whispers, dinner was fine. Fun, even. Yoonji finally got to relax a bit, eating the delicious food her unnie was so fond of cooking, filling up her tummy with Hosook’s greasy and sugary dessert -she flushed when she remembered Jimin’s words from Saturday night, and she felt the intensity of Jimin’s own eyes on the side of her face, but she forced herself to swallow it down with a gulp of beer. 

Dinner night wasn't a small thing, for them: it was basically always a pretext to get together and get drunk, always one out of the 7 girls drinking a bit too much and ending up puking on themselves (Jimin more often than the others, but hey, no judgment). 

But Yoonji grew suspicious when at barely 11:45 pm, Hosook clapped her hands, gathering her Tupperware against her chest. “I’m beat!”, she complained, rubbing her eyes -she wasn’t a very good actor, bless her heart. “Honey?” 

Honey was Jungha, and honey got up on her feet in a second, arm circling around Hosook’s slender waist. “Yeah. Me too.” (She wasn’t any better at acting). 

That’s how they found themselves cleaning up the table and sending their goodbyes at barely 12 am, Hosook smirking as she hugged Yoonji goodnight, leaving with a definitely not tired Jungha in tow, and fuck, was that a ploy to go back home together, or was that a ploy to get Yoonji alone with-...

“Uh,” Yoonji blurted out, bowing at Jimin and Taehee, still as awkward as in the beginning -neither of the two younger girls bowed back at her, making this whole ordeal even more embarrassing. “Right. Good night.” 

She ignored their gaze, just strolled to the entryway, eyeing her pair of sneakers like a God-sent gift, but then-

Chubby fingers. Sage green nails. 

Yoonji felt her wrist being tugged, her body pulled back in the living room, so gently, like Jimin was afraid she’d break. 

“Unnie?”, Jimin spoke. Taehee was just behind her girlfriend, but was silent, looking at her with big round eyes. She looked quite innocent, like that, and it was a miracle Yoonji didn’t breakdown right there. “Can we…talk? Maybe?”

It was one of the first times Yoonji ever saw Jimin so hesitant, and she hated herself for being the reason the two younger girls seemed both so miserable and unsure of themselves, those two who usually spoke loud, laughed louder, loved so hard. 

Yoonji wasn’t so sure. 

She wanted to. Wanted to stay. To talk. Tell them. 

But she couldn't: could she? People rarely understood. Her last partners surely didn’t. 

So she acted surprised, like she didn’t know why they wanted to talk, like she was just so dumb. “Uh?”, she turned towards Namjoo, saw her frown. “I’m supposed to walk Namjoo home.” 

But Hosook wasn’t a good friend, and neither was Namjoo, because the younger girl just shrugged, smiling at the three women in front of her, dimples on full display. “It’s okay, unnie,” she shook her head. “I’ll walk alone. I’m a big girl.” 

Yoonji snorted. “It doesn’t matter if you’re a big girl,” she said, because it was true: even if Namjoo had muscles bulging out of every patch of skin, she was still a girl. 

And it was never really safe for a girl. 

So, she decided. Turned her body to Namjoo, ready to grab for her, to put her sneakers on (Itzy would have been so proud, oh my God), to just bolt out of here like she had been wanting to for the past hours, and go smoke half a pack of cigarette while looking at the moon like some love-struck poet. 

She was ready. But yeah: Soojin wasn’t a very good friend either. “C’mon,” the older of them all sighed. Her bracelets dingled loudly when she grabbed Namjoo’s hand. “I’ll walk you.” 

Of course. Fuck Hosook, fuck Namjoo, fuck all of them, Yoonji cursed as she watched her unnie drag Namjoo away, giggling between themselves -she still wasn’t sure what the relationship was between the two of them, Soojin had told her queerplatonic, whatever that meant, but she couldn’t judge, could she? That’d make her quite hypocritical. 

But fuck. She hated their queerplatonic relationship, right now, watching them leave her to her own destiny, her own misery and future heart-break, that was just at the corner, just at the tip of Taehee’s and Jimin’s tongue. 

Her sneakers were still tidied up. The only ones standing on the entry mat. 

“Unnie,” Taehee whispered. The apartment was so quiet, without the bubbling voice of Jungha, the giggles, the clinking of glass, Jimin’s whining against Hosook’s tickling fingers. 

It was so quiet. Yoonji wanted her heart to disappear. 

“Hi,” she said instead, word too quickly said- the silence fell again. 

Not for long, though. “Hey,” Jimin’s voice was like velvet, soft to touch, to hear. It’d spill so tenderly in Yoonji’s throat, but right now it’s constricting it, making it hard to breathe, to do anything else than stare and wish, regret. “Unnie…”

A silence passed between them, and Yoonji understood she couldn’t get out of here. She wanted to, push them so far away from her, but…Here they were. Bare. Soft. 

And Yoonji gave in. 

“Can we-...Can we, like, sit down?”, she asked. Her heart was speeding up; her palm was sweating. She hated having to justify herself, to share herself so privately only to end up sad, sadder than before. “Or is this an express conversation? Do I need-...”

Jimin’s fingers closed on her wrist. “Let’s go sit,” she pulled on her arm, towards the couch, against which she fell asleep so many times, buzzed with beers, drunk with giggles, with sweets, with citruses, mint, Soojin’s unfunny jokes and Jungha’s echoing chuckles. 

Was that the last time she’d feel the softness under her? Was that…It was quite depressing, to be honest. 

Taehee cleared her throat. They were sitting on two seats in front of her, and it honestly reminded Yoonji a bit too much of her therapist sessions. 

“So,” the younger of the three starred, locking eyes with Yoonji. “Why did you run away like a thief?” 

Ah. Yeah. Straight to the point, of course. 

Jimin pointed towards the bathroom. “We still have your socks, by-...”

“Oh; God,” Yoonji whined. This couldn’t be happening.

Why wasn’t she already running out of here, again? Was it because of Jimin’s minty mouth, of the memory of her full lips against her? Because of Taehee’s pleading eyes and red make-up?

“Unnie…,” Jimin sighed. 

“It’s-...It’s nothing about you , it’s just…I didn’t feel comfortable.” 

“Comfortable?”, Taehee repeated like it was shocking, eyebrows furrowing. 

Yeah. Yoonji knew they didn’t notice, that it was just so normal for them: it pained her as much as it comforted her, and she bit down on her lower lip. “I’m sorry.” 

Something changed in Jimin’s eyes, dark color melting into affection, regret, maybe? Her fingers twitched, but she didn’t move. “Don’t apologize, unnie,” she talked instead. “Why didn’t you feel comfortable? Did we do something?” 

Ah. How difficult was it…Yoonji had forgotten all about it, since her last break-up, her last explanation, when she swore she would never date anyone again, and now…Taehee and Jimin. Not even one person, but two. 

Karma really hit on this one. 

“Not really?”, she grimaced, and Taehee yelped, repeating her words (“Not really? ”), to which Yoonji hurried to explain. “You didn’t do anything bad…It’s just me. I’m not like you two,” she waved between them, feeling the way her cheeks and neck were heating up, the embarrassment of it all catching up to her. 

“Like us?”, Jimin tilted her head to the side- beautiful. Yoonji wanted to drown in her eyes. “Like…interested in girls?” 

Oh. Yoonji frowned. “What? No! Of course I’m interested in girls.” 

Min Yoonji, not interested in girls? Min Yoonji, who dreamed of Taehee’s sly fingers and Jimin’s pretty smile every night, who longed for citruses, for the exact color of Taehee’s eyes, who knew how Jimin liked her coffee, Taehee her tea, their orders at that corner Japanese restaurant-...Min Yoonji, not interested in girls? In them?

“Oh,” Taehee nodded, like she was just new to the information (like they hadn’t made out like crazy animals the week before). “Then…what’s the problem?” 

“Ah-...It’s hard to talk about. Only Namjoo and Hosook know.” 

The problem. Yoonji herself was the problem, unfortunately. 

“Oh,” Taehee frowned. Neither of them were following, of course: it was all so vague, Yoonji dancing around it, just replying to questions instead of saying anything, but they were trying, racking their brains to find any explanations possible. “You…You don’t have to tell us. Just-...”

Oh, God. Kim Taehee stuttering- Yoonji blushed harder. They really liked her, didn’t they? How disappointed are they going to be? 

Jimin slipped her hand on Taehee’s knees, squeezing it in a comforting way: the younger’s words died down, quickly replaced by Jimin’s own voice. “Just tell us what we can do to make you more comfortable, and if…you can not be interested, too,” like that was possible, Yoonji thought. “Just tell us. Don’t worry about our feelings.” 

Taehee opened her mouth just after. “Uh, I mean, worry about my feelings just a little bit, please.” 

The sentence made Yoonji snort, a bit surprised: Taehee was really someone. It tugged at her heart- but she needed to do it. “I don’t think-...,” she started. Fixed her eyes on Jimin’s hand, Taehee’s knee. “I can’t tell you what to do to make me more comfortable without telling you what’s happening.” 

“Then, maybe, you-...”

“No, I’ll tell you. Don’t worry,” she cut Taehee off. She needed to do that: needed to be sure. It wasn’t a nice moment, in truth she had avoided this kind of conversation for the past years, but she needed to be brave, didn’t she? She wanted to run away so badly, but she couldn’t, not anymore, not with Jimin’s hand squeezing Taehee’s knee like they were on the verge of a breakdown themselves. “Just…Give me a minute.” 

“Yeah, of course,” Taehee nodded, jumped on her feet to stroll around the living room, clearly nervous. “Do you want something to drink, unnie? A tea?”

They had a lot of tea. Some flavors are even ridiculous. And Yoonji would really like some of that hibiscus peach tea, a big mug, with one of their homemade cookies they always have, but she felt like she was going to throw up her whole dinner, so she just shook her head. 

“I’m fine,” she tried to smile, only managing one of those fake grins she gives the mean girl in her group project. 

Taehee gulped down. “Okay, yeah,” she said, then disappeared in the kitchen. 

Thankfully, she made herself a hot cocoa, and the noise of the microwave filled the living room, leaving place for Yoonji’s doubts, thoughts- and when the younger came back, miffy white mug filled with steaming hot cocoa and little Marshmallows, hands clasped tight around it, Yoonji was still lost. 

How to say it? Would they hate her? Would they even…understand? 

“Unnie?”, someone said, and fuck, she was so sick of this word- she wanted Soojin. Wanted to sleep. Maybe wanted her own hot cocoa filled muffy mug. 

“Uh,” she blurted out. Words came out of her lips without her even thinking about it. “So…You two are lesbians,” she started, earning herself an hesitant nod from Jimin- Taehee narrowed her eyes over her chocolate mustache. “And, like…You’re in the LGBTQ+ community.” 

“Uhm…yes?” 

Jimin’s own eyes narrow down, and fuck, Yoonji was really a mess. “Oh, my God,” she whined, hands coming up to rub at her face to calm herself down.. “I don’t know why I chose this way of telling you.” 

“Just go ahead, unnie,” Taehee nodded to her. 

She had a chocolate mustache. Yoonji wanted to lick it up. 

But she needed to be honest. 

“It’s just….LGBTQIA+ community,” she started. Jimin nodded: it gave her just the tiny bit of strength. “Uhm, people often think the A stands for ally, which is kind of stupid and another reason I dislike straight people, but, uh-...ah, shit,” her voice died down. She didn’t know where she was going with this. 

Luckily, Taehee picked it up. “It stands for asexuals, right?, she hummed when Yoonji nodded. “So…What does this have to do with you?”

Jimin’s hand had once again found its place on her girlfriend’s knees, and it squeezed, stronger than before, like a warning, before her voice rose. “Taehee…,” she said calmly. 

“Asex-...,” the light seemed to shine on Taehee, and then, a gasp. “Oh, God, are you asexual?”, she gaped, eyes wide open. 

Yoonji took offense right away. “What’s with this reaction?” 

“No! I mean! No problem, but oh, hey, asexual!”

“Tae-yah, God, just shut up,” Jimin picked a Marshmallow from her girlfriend’s mug, plopping it in her mouth like she desperately needed a sugar rush to have this conversation. “Unnie…Is that why you were uncomfortable with us? Because we joked about having sex?” 

Ah. The dots were connecting fast in Jimin’s brain: it was different from Taehee, still staring wide eyed at her, afraid of saying things she shouldn’t, afraid that she wasn’t understanding things correctly. 

“Yeah-...,” Yoonji’s saliva was so warm in her mouth, difficult to swallow. She maybe needed one of those mini Marshmallow too. “You made it seem like we would have sex in the morning, or after, at a certain point, anyway. And…Yes. I don’t do sex.”

She didn’t. Asexuality was large enough to get lost in it, the label changing depending on each person, but Yoonji…She didn’t do sex. At all. She masturbated, yeah, but the act of sex in itself wasn’t for her, even if she wanted to, even if she was desperate to do it, to enjoy it, to be able to get a girlfriend, a boyfriend, to be like anybody else. 

“Oh, shit, unnie,” Taehee finally spoke, still brown chocolate over her top lip, still so tempting to kiss. “We’re so sorry. We…It’s true we never really thought about it, because we’re both-...not asexuals,” she grimaced. 

“Allosexual,” Yoonji offered the right word, hiding away her small snort- Taehee was cute: it was just too easy to melt.  

She looked nervous, though, and she gulped down loudly. “Right. That,” she nodded. “So, we just tend to forget…that this sexuality exists,” her fingers were playing nervously with a mini-marshmallow, slender finger squeezing it nervously. “And it’s shitty because it’s exactly what straight people do to us, or cis people do to trans people, but…we’re sorry.” 

Yeah. She heard that before: it was nothing new. Maybe the softness in their eyes, the way Jimin was inspecting her with a careful gaze, their words being whispered gently: this was new, instead of the frown, the incomprehension, the forced confusion she usually faced. 

“Yes,” Jimin pressed her lips in a thin line. They kind of looked tired: their shoulders were stiff. Jimin looked adorable, cozy, hair wrapped in a loose bun on top of her head. “Sorry,” she repeated her girlfriend’s words. 

And they both looked guilty. Everything sucked. 

Yoonji inhaled deeply: they were kind. “I-...There’s nothing to apologize for, Jimin-ah, Tae-yah,” she shook her head: there truly wasn’t anything to apologize for. They were just a bit clumsy, but hey, not a lot of people were asexuals, and…Yes. Yoonji couldn’t be mad at them, only at herself, but hey: she was used to it. “Just, I want to know…If this thing…,” she waved between her and them, so much distance between them. “Is going anywhere.” 

She felt hesitant as she said it, but the reactions were immediate, loud: Jimin gasped like she was personally offended, and Taehee choked on the last sip of cocoa she was drinking, lifting up shocked eyes towards her unnie. 

“Excuse-me?”, Jimin spoke, too loud, too harsh. “Do you honestly think we won’t want to date you again because you’re asexual?”

Her tone made it seem like it was just impossible, just pathetic, funny, and it didn’t please Yoonji. “Some people don’t want to,” she frowned back, rounding her back, nails digging in her own knees. 

There were too many people who didn’t even want a second date, nothing more with her just because, because she wasn’t going to suck their dick or eat their pussy, and it sucked, yeah, it sucked so much, but it was how it was. 

And the fact that Jimin was acting like it was weird that some people didn’t want to date her because of that…It hurt. A tiny bit. Because it did happen, and she did have her dignity and heart wrenched by others, and the two pretty girls diminishing it right in front of her…Yeah. 

What a night. 

“Yoonji-unnie,” Jimin’s eyes softened, settling on her. There were many hidden things in those eyes, the color deep enough to drown herself in, the intensity burning red through Yoonji. “We’ve been crushing on you forever.”

Ah. Without any big surprise, Yoonji flushed bright red, her heart pounding against her rib cage, threatening to spill through her lungs. 

Jimin didn’t have any mercy on her, though. “I want you morning and night, even if it’s just to hold your hand, just to hear you bitch about everybody when you’re on your period,” she teased, a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips. “Or to eat greasy fast-food, or to kick this Sun girl’s ass because she once again said bad things to Taehee, this stupid-...”

“Jimin, it’s not the time,” Taehee cut her off immediately. 

Talking about this Sun-bitch body shaming her in front of their possibly (hopefully, fingers crossed) future girlfriend was maybe not the best thing to do, especially not when there was a whole emotional coming out happening right now. 

Jimin grimaced, tried to smile. “Right. Sorry.”

It was late. Dark, outside. The apartment was basked in dimmed light, orange color, warming the three girls’ hearts, and Yoonji felt…at ease. More than before. She imagined herself holding Jimin’s hand, kissing the curve of Taehee’s shoulders, and it wasn’t just hopeful thinking, on lonely nights, 3 AM in her bed with sad music playing loudly in her ears: no, it was real. Jimin said it herself. 

Taehee’s mug was empty, but fuck.

“You…still want me?”, she whispered, timidly. She couldn’t believe it…were they making fun of her? 

There was a silence, and then shuffling: Yoonji looked up in surprise, her eyes locking up with Taehee’s, who was making her way around the small table, dropping herself right next to her unnie. Immediately, her body heat warmed Yoonji up, enveloping in a silent hug, and she felt her neck blushing red, her ears heating up. 

“Of course we do,” Taehee murmured, eyes glancing between Yoonji and Jimin. Her voice was soothing. “Saturday night…It was honestly one of the best nights of my life. And fuck, I was so warm falling asleep with you two, and your lips, unnie-...,” she trailed off, before bouncing on her seat once, twice, excited beam on her lips. “Your smile! God! I feel like a 19th century poet every time I’m with you.” 

Ah…Yoonji couldn’t get any redder. And fuck, Jimin seemed to enjoy this too, warmth and love swimming in her eyes, in all of her features: grinning like a love-sick fool. 

“Oh…uh…,” Yoonji bit down on her tongue. 

She was never a really big…talker. A big sentimental girl. Love declarations weren’t her thing, sadly, and so she didn’t know what to say, what to do, other than playing with her fingers and looking over to Jimin for help. 

“She’s a bit overdramatic, don’t mind her,” Jimin took pity, lips stretching in her familiar eye-smile, her gaze tinkling with mischief. 

“Mhm.” 

“I’m sorry…,” Taehee sighed like she just noticed what she said. “I, just…I haven’t felt that way since Jimin.” 

Ah. Way to break her heart apart a little bit more, to make her melt for the two younger girls, like a pre-teen girl over her forever crushes. Fucking hell. 

She was going to die. 

Jimin mirrored her girlfriend: she stood up, made her way towards Yoonji, eyes on her like some predator on her prey. “Unnie…,” she huffed as she plopped on the other side of Yoonji. “We won’t-...”

“I’ve liked you two for so long,” the older girl blurted out, cutting off Jimin’s words. “It’s been killing me inside. And I want to let go, but I’m afraid,” she voiced out her concerns, her fears.

“We like you like you are, Yoon-unnie.” 

“I-...,” she started, but this time, she was the one to get interrupted. 

“Point is, we both want you. You don’t do sex? Okay. It’s your boundaries, and it’s okay,” Jimin’s hand was offered to her, palm up, bare, ready for Yoonji to press her own hand against. “Taehee doesn’t like arms massages, and I don’t like people outside of you 7 hugging me. Boundaries are boundaries.”

Uh…Yoonji eyed the smooth skin of her hand. She wasn’t sure. 

“But…,” she pouted slightly. “We probably won’t ever have sex.”

They needed to understand- this wasn’t just a one-time thing. Not a “not in the mood” thing.

But Taehee shrugged. “It’s okay. I have fingers for a reason, unnie.” 

Oh…Uhm…Fingers. Yeah, interesting. 

Jimin thought it would be good to add another thing. “Right, and by now, the collection of dildos we have…,” she scoffed. “It’s nice that they’re going to live up to their full potential.” 

“No, you don’t understand…I’m not-...Gosh, I feel like an asshole,” she whined, burying her head in her hands, shielding herself away from the two other girls. 

Her mind was a mess. The two others were still against her, so warm and open, and Jimin probably still had her hand ready for her to grab, but she couldn’t, couldn’t even look at them: she didn’t know if she was relieved. She didn’t know anything. 

“You’re not,” Taehee knocked her shoulder against Yoonji’s, trying to be comforting. “Tell us,” she said, lower, breath landing on Yoonji’s cheeks, betraying her closeness. 

It was weirdly comforting, to have them this close, to have the vanilla clash with the mint, the citruses, to have all of that wrap around her, collapse on her skin, her tongue. She wanted so much, wanted to taste their lips once again, but she also wanted her heart intact, didn’t want to cry as much as she did with her old relationships. 

“We’re…I don’t want to start anything based on lies.” 

“Right. Us neither,” Jimin whispered too. She was probably as close as Taehee. 

Yoonji slowly took her hands away, eyes squinting against the lights, desperately avoiding the two younger’s owns. 

“We-...If w-we do this thing, then, you two…You can’t fuck either,” she grimaced. Fuck, did she sound selfish? 

Jimin hummed, and Taehee scooted even closer, and yeah, okay, shit, she needed to get this off her chest, needed to put her conditions, her boundaries: she couldn’t once again date someone who didn’t know, who wouldn’t respect it. It hurt enough the last time. 

“It’ll make me…uncomfortable. And, I know it’s a lot to ask, for you two to not only don’t have sex with me, but also don’t have sex with each other, so if you have doubts, if you don’t-...,” she started rambling, but soon enough got interrupted. 

“Deal.” 

It was Taehee, and when Yoonji turned to her, surprised, she found her with the biggest grin ever, hand open just like Jimin’s still was, ready to grab, to nuzzle against. 

Yoonji shook her head. “Tae-yah, don’t say things so fast,” she felt…just like before. Like they were diminishing the problem. 

Just that? Yeah. Fuck, just that, but wasn’t it a big deal? It always seemed like it, on the Internet, the way Hosook and Soojin talked about it, the way it was portrayed in the media. The way Jimin and Taehee themselves talked about it. 

It was a big deal. 

But they…were they making fun of her, or something?

“Yoonji-unnie. If you think sex, as mind-blowing as it can be, especially with this girl’s tongue,” Taehee pointed to Jimin with her chin, not even once taking her eyes off Yoonji. “Is worth more than a romantic relationship with you, Min Yoonji, gummy-smile owner, Min Holly’s mom, little sparks of my heart, then you’re very, very, very wrong.” 

Was she? Wrong? 

Jimin hummed, bringing her unnie’s attention back to her. “It’s true. Please, trust us,” it contrasted with the way Taehee talked, teased, it was calmer, softer, but Yoonji still felt unsure, ashamed…Lonely. “We’re not saying this is not going to be hard, but we won’t betray you, unnie. If we have troubles, we’ll tell you, yeah? And we’ll get the handle of it after a few weeks. We’ll be okay without sex, unnie. It doesn’t define us.” 

Ah. There it was. 

“Kinda,” Yoonji grimaced. It did define Taehee and Jimin; this was just a fact. 

“Are you insulting us right now, unnie?”, Taehee nudged her, playfully, but it didn’t catch: Yoonji didn’t smile, didn’t tease back, onlys stuttered. 

“No!”, Yoonji shook her head, but oh well, was it really insulting when it was just the truth? “You two…Sex is an important thing in your relationship.” 

They couldn’t deny it: everybody in their friend group knew it was true. And there was nothing wrong with that, each to their own, right? But Yoonji didn’t know if she fitted in-between…

“Yeah. It’s an important thing in our couple,” Jimin nodded. And at least she was honest about it, easing just a little bit Yoonji’s worry- they said they’ll be honest, and they already are, where they could so easily lie to her. “But unnie…,” Jimin’s thigh pressed against her. “We’re not only together now. You’re here. And now you are an important thing in our couple, just like I am, just like Taehee is. Yeah? It changes everything.”

Yoonji felt her heart explode. “C-couple?”, she asked, wide-eyed, because what the actual fuck? 

Shit. She could use a cigarette right now. And a few whiskeys, maybe. 

“Uh, aren’t we…?”, Taehee spoke, as unsure as Yoonji felt. “I thought we were all, like…liking each other.” 

“Uh, yeah..We are. I…,” Yoonji inhaled sharply. Being honest was so incredibly hard. “I like you two. Have for a while.” 

But, couple? Already? Wasn’t the word too quickly thrown? 

Was that how it worked? Just ask, and get? 

“Then let’s date!”, Taehee clapped her hand excitedly, a habit she surely picked up from Jimin and Hosook. And okay, yeah: apparently, all it took was really just asking. “Let us convince you we’re honest!” 

“Uhm-...,” Yoonji felt a bit awkward. Where was the romance? She expected to be swept off her feet. 

Jimin whispered close to her. “You don’t have to say yes, unnie,” she said, voice sweet like the Marshmallow melted on her tongue, like the lip gloss Taehee liked to wear. “You can…wait. And see.”

“Ah…I’m-...Okay.”

“Okay?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded, breathed out. Yoonji fixed her eyes on her socks, short white ones, letting her pale ankles peek from the clothes, contrasting with the flashy carpet underneath, the cute dinosaurs on Taehee’s own socks, the purple of Jimin’s. 

She stared at their feet, at the carpet. At Jimin’s and Taehee’s hands, still open, ready to grab, awaiting, not a single word said between them- she looked and looked, bit the inside of her cheeks, pondered if she was making the right choice, if she’d regret it. She didn’t want to think she’d regret it, because they said so many beautiful things, because they were her friends, for years, and they were Kim Taehee and Park Jimin, those two adorables girls that follow Yoonji everywhere, that tweet maybe a bit too much, that don’t care about Internet safety and that like white wine more than red. 

Kim Taehee, who loved chocolate. Hated coffee. That had large hands and soft shoulders. 

Park Jimin, who loved coffee, loved teasing her girlfriend about it. Fuck. Park Jimin who had purple socks and who was wiggling her toes on the ground like some impatient child. 

Yoonji sighed, closed her eyes for a second. There was no way purple-socked toes were making her feel this much. 

“I have an offer,” a voice next to her said, so close- it was the dinosaur girlie. With her bread cheeks and vanilla scent and…“What about…we do our Wednesday breakfast now?” 

What? 

Yoonji turned to her, frowning, and Jimin did the same. “At 11 pm? On a Friday?”, Jimin tilted her head to the side, trying to not focus too much on Yoonji’s profile, her button-nose and pretty pale skin. 

Taehee’s gaze did focus a bit too long on Yoonji’s eyes, but she managed to speak her thoughts anyway. “Why not? We have the full Saturday to regret every food decision and to feel bloated,” she shrugged, and…

Was that…an invitation to stay, to spend the night? To sleep here again ? 

“That’s a good point,” Jimin agreed, palm still open: ah, it was starting to get ridiculous, but both Jimin and Taehee were still keeping their hands open and ready for Yoonji if she wanted to. “Unnie?” 

Unnie . 

The choice was hers. Stay, eat, cuddle: this was a date, wasn’t it? A first step towards a relationship, towards a real thing, without secrets, with honesty and respect and everything else. 

Or leave. Go back home. Smoke unhealthy, cry a bit, text Hosook depressing thoughts. Be awkward around Taehee and Jimin for the following weeks, months, years . Never get over them, end up depressed, alone, go to their wedding and cry your soul out. 

Ah. The choice wasn’t easy. 

But…dinosaur socks. And Jimin was so warm, on Saturday night. She bopped her nose, for fuck’s sake. 

“Wednesday without chocolate pancakes was hard…,” she started, shy, silly, still so hesitant, even though yeah, she felt maybe a bit pathetic or miserable being so hesitant, but it was enough: Jimin’s lips twitched, Taehee’s bite down on her inner cheek, trying to get her own grin hidden. 

“So…?”, Taehee pushed. Her toes wiggled too, the head of the dinosaur moving with it. 

So, Taehee had drank hot cocoa with tiny marshmallows and Yoonji had wanted one.  “So…,” she started, voice weak. “I want chocolate pancakes. And Marshmallow.” 

She finally let her hands clasp around Taehee’s and Jimin’s, ignored their pleased smiles, and just shyly looked down, blushing at herself. 

*+*+*

It still smelled like pancakes and monoï candles when they went to bed, teeth brushed, mint aftertaste in their mouths. 

Their stomachs were bloated with food, and Yoonji had shyly complimented their cooking, the cuteness of Taehee’s socks, of her make-up, of Jimin’s pancake-flipping method. 

“Come cuddle with us, unnie,” Jimin whispered as she hugged her from behind, burying her nose where her hair began, smelling her delicious shampoo, natural odor, wood, cigarette, and imprinting it in her brain. 

Yoonji felt herself blush. And melt. Felt her heart speed up uncomfortably (was it about to burst out of her chest?). 

“Of course,” she replied, slumping against Jimin’s chest. It was weaker than Taehee’s, for sure, but a different kind of comfort, still feeling as safe as the other girl’s. She felt like she was sinking in pure velvet. “In the middle? Like last week?”, she asked, shyer this time, a bit afraid of being refused. 

“Awh,” Jimin scoffed in her nape, lips puckering out to place a small kiss there- 

Oh. Yoonji’s sighed; fuck. There were butterflies, ants, every fucking insects in the world pooling in her stomach, tickling down her chest. She was so fucked, so endeared by the two girls. 

“You like being cuddled,” Taehee said, appearing in front of her with a big grin, boxy as usual, teeth biting into his lower lip. “Pampered.” 

Yoonji fought against her pout. “Maybe,” she replied. 

The situation made her think of last week, at that club, tiny frame engulfed by the two other girls, lost between body warmth and tempting lips; it was familiar, but better, less scary, less lonely. Safer. 

She smiled when Taehee kissed her forehead. Fuck, wasn’t that just…perfect? She wanted to be kissed by Taehee, hugged by Jimin, for her whole life. Maybe even after. 

“C’mon,” Jimin urged her, pushing behind her, and they followed as Taehee guided them to the bedroom, quick to press herself on the edge of the mattress. “In the middle, unnie.” 

She complied, maybe a bit too happy about being ordered around like that, but neither of the two younger girls said anything, so she happily nuzzled against the pillows, under the comforter. Ah, their beds was so much more comfortable than Yoonji’s own. She’d have to-...

"Fuck, I had already thought of something…But I have to find a better Valentine’s gift, now," Taehee whispered before dramatically sighing, cutting off Yoonji’s inner monologue of appreciation of that soft mattress, and…what? 

In a second, Jimin had turned to her with a glare. "Taehee!", she reprimanded, because was that really the time to say things like that, when Yoonji had so bravely opened up to them? 

Taehee looked back at her, cheeks slightly flushed, something like awkwardness in her eyes, but her eyes suddenly caught on to something before Jimin, and a smile broke on her face- Jimin was about to scold her again, a bit bewildered at the complete lack of sensitivity of her girlfriend, when she heard it.

A giggle.

Jimin glanced down in the middle of the bed,  and there it was: Yoonji, eyes gleaming with amusement, the most beautiful smile on her face, all gummy and pink, shoulders shaking slightly as she giggled at Taehee-

"Unnie?", Jimin asked in a small voice.

"Don't look at me like that, Jimin-ah," Yoonji shook her head, cheeks all squished up by her smile and God, wasn't that the most adorable sight ever? Jimin's heart wasn't strong enough to bear such cuteness, and she didn't know if Taehee's was so weak for Yoonji too, but if it was, then they were in a deep mess. “It was funny. I’m sorry.” 

Jimin’s lips stretched in a small grin themselves, imitating Taehee’s pleased and surprised one, while Yoonji was still giggling under them, looking soft and ready to be eaten. Her mom was really right when she said she looked like a dumpling, and Jimin wanted to check if she was as delicious as one. If her cheeks were as good to bite into. 

“Can we kiss you, unnie?”, Taehee murmured against her forehead, leaving another kiss there, lingering with want, with affection. Yoonji was still smiling, all gummy, small grin that just made Jimin and Taehee’s heart swoon. 

Jimin pressed her feet to Yoonji’s, grabbed her pinky with her own, glanced at her with questioning eyes. Safe, safe, safe. You’re safe. 

Yoonji felt her own eyes close. Her smile was still there, in her throat, in her heart: she’d cherish this moment later on, think back at it witha chuckle and an endeared roll of eyes.

 “Tomorrow,” she agreed on, remembering the softness of their lips, the wild tongues. Tomorrow, yeah. Everything was still young, and she was still so unsure: was this the last night she would ever spend with them? 

She didn’t want to be wrong, to fall this soon, to act stupid, reckless, too rushed. Didn’t want to embarrass herself, not like she did with her last girlfriend. 

“Tomorrow,” Jimin agreed, slipped a peck on her temple, pinky tightening around hers. 

Taehee nodded in the dark, even though she wanted to kiss the smaller girl dumb, kiss her wild, kiss her and Jimin and watch Jimin kiss Yoonji, sleep between her shoulder blades, but-...Good things took time. She held her hand, kissed her forehead, and got to feed her a piece of pancake earlier. And wasn’t that everything she had dreamed about for the past week, the past year? 

So she just pressed one last kiss on Yoonji’s forehead, longer, like a quick greeting. “Good night, loves,” her fingers grazed over Yoonji’s scalp, hair, a simple massage. 

Yoonji wanted to purr, but she contained herself, just replied with a sleepy “good night”, and basked in the mix of mint and vanilla, a weightless hug around her heart. 

She still smelled of mint and vanilla. 

*+*+*

She spent the following night there, too. 

And the one after. 

And the one after, again. 

Then they stopped counting.

*+*+*

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Notes:

i wrote thos two chapters under a few days, so bare with me if it's not that good...!

also ace yoonji bc <33

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 5 of fem bangtan ღ