Chapter Text
12/11
3:55 pm
The Metaverse is filled with absurdly powerful and terrible status effects that can absolutely wreak havoc upon the unsuspecting Phantom Thieves. Joker found himself at the tail end of a particularly brutal one that night, the enemy was a winged figure of some kind and it struck the leader with a powerful looking blast that almost resembled a gun attack though it was discolored.
He heard the shouting of his teammates when his back hit the ground but he had no idea what they were saying. By the time he lifted his head though the shadow was gone. Mona had already begun to heal him before he even fully sat up, he quickly gave a hand wave to signal that he was fine.
“Yo you alright dude? That was kind of a hard hit” Ryuji lightly patted his shoulder, reaching a hand down to help him up
“Yeah I’m fine” he took the boy’s hand and got pulled up to his feet, “Kinda wish we didn’t come into Mementos today though, I had other stuff I wanted to do”
His own brow furrowed when he said that, like he was confused by the words that came out of his mouth
“Oh, why didn’t you say anything beforehand then?” Haru approached alongside the others
“I didn’t want to disappoint any of you” he looked even more confused now, he didn’t intend to open his mouth at all and yet the words just spilled out
“What’s wrong Joker? You look like you’ve seen a ghost” Futaba was already clacking away at her hologram projections of keyboards from Prometheus, giving him a scan over with her Persona
“I didn’t mean to say that, I can’t stop my mouth from moving, what the hell is going on?” he said all in a matter-of-fact tone before grabbing ahold of his jaw with his hand and holding his mouth shut
“Oracle, do you know what’s going on with our leader?” Yusuke tried to look at the screens but none of it made sense to him
“Oh yeah, he has a weird new status… it doesn’t have a name though, or at least it’s name is blocked out for some reason… but based on what’s going on it appears that it makes him speak the truth?” she continued her scan while he looked more worried by that description
Just don’t say anything embarrassing you idiot! Come on, you can control this!
“That doesn’t seem too bad for a status effect… kind of a weird one for an enemy to apply” Ann folded her arms and gave him a bit of a sympathetic look as his hand uncovered his mouth
“Easy for you to say, there’s a lot of embarrassing stuff I could accidentally say like this” his eyes widened and he quickly slapped his mouth closed with his hand again, groaning in a mixture of pain and anger, getting a number of confused looks from his teammates
Haru quickly casted an Amrita Drop on Joker to try and get rid of the pesky status, “See if that worked”
“Alright… uh, someone ask me something?” he looked around at anyone who wasn’t Futaba, hoping for an easy question but the mischievous grin on her face only grew wider
“Are you a top or a bottom?” she gremlin laughed as the other Thieves instantly looked to be a mix of confused, intrigued and annoyed
“Bottom but I like to pretend I’m a top because there’s nothing I love more than being put in my place” he didn’t just try to cover his mouth with his hand, he full fist punched himself so hard in the jaw that he collapsed, “Why did you ask that question?!”
“It was a question that you’d never answer honestly if it weren’t for this once in a lifetime chance!” she giggled again, everyone else blushing a bit awkwardly while Joker was completely crimson red
Morgana just rolled his eyes and sighed, turning back into his car form, “Well if dispeling it is a no-go then I guess we just have to wait for it to wear off on it’s own… Oracle? You aren’t allowed to ask him any more questions”
“Whaaat?!” she protested
“I second that” Makoto’s eyed narrowed on the hacker who ‘eep’d in return, “you shouldn’t try to embarrass our leader like that”
“Ughhh fine…” the orange haired girl whined in protest but knew better than to go against the Queen
“I’m afraid I didn’t really understand the question in the slightest… what context does this top and bottom matter in?” Yusuke asked, Joker was impulsively about to answer before Ryuji immediately jumped in for him
“Y-you don’t gotta worry about that! Let’s just get out of here!” getting cut off seemed to make him not have to speak.
The Thieves all piled up into the Mona bus, Makoto took the wheel this time seeing as Joker has already hit himself for speaking and they would rather not crash because their leader got embarrassed. Said leader meanwhile sat in the exact center of the filled up bus, trying his best to occupy his mind with nothing at all out of fear that even his own thoughts could cause him to say more regretful things.
He was lucky for the fact that the other Thieves seemed to pity him by not asking him any real questions, as a matter of fact they weren’t speaking at all. But as they drew closer to a rest area, and as such a place to teleport back to the entrance, a single thought kept popping up in his mind.
“We should wait by the entrance for this effect to wear off, if this effect were to persist into reality it could be bad if I overhear anyone discussing the Phantom Thieves” he rambled out without even fully intending to, “But I almost want to take the risk because I’m terrified of saying something I’ll regret to you all”
With a wince he closed his eyes tight, feeling the stares of the non-driving members already.
“You do make a good point” Yusuke pondered for a moment, “We should do as he says and wait”
“Bro you really have shit you’re that scared of sayin to us?” Ryuji patted his shoulder, maybe intentionally maybe unintentionally phrasing that as a question which triggered his reflex to respond honestly
“Yes, a lot of things actually, such as-” he cut himself off with another way harder punch, this time actually cutting his lip open and getting a lot of worried yells in return.
When they reached the entrance and all sat down there was a complete and utter awkward silence. He felt bad because of how ominous it all had to sound to them but there was no way he could just spill his guts in front of everyone, he would absolutely die of embarrassment. So instead he waited… and waited… and waited… they asked a few light ball questions every twenty minutes to always end up figuring out that the status was still in effect.
He was a bit relieved they had come in on a Sunday, and thus earlier in the day than normal, which made waiting this out more plausible but at this point something had to give.
“I think it might not be time related?” Mona had his arms crossed, staring at Joker for the last ten minutes
“I was thinking the same” he said back, of course he didn’t want to say that
“So is this a permanent effect?!” Ann gasped with even more pity than before for the broken leader who collapsed his head into his hands
“I doubt that’s the case, though I suppose it is possible…” Makoto was deep in thought, trying to figure this out, “Maybe… he has to share some of his secrets for it to wear off?”
“That’s what I was thinking again” he facepalmed hard enough for the others to get worried
“Hm… I don’t like the idea of forcing secrets out of him… that sounds very uncomfortable” Haru sighed dejectedly but she knew they didn’t have much other choice
“At this point it’s worth a shot… but Joker? We’ll let you decide how you want to do it” Mona was as sympathetic as he could be, especially after seeing just how upset the leader seemed to be
He thought to himself for a moment, looking up at the ceiling and examining his possibilities, “Here’s what we’ll do… I’ll teleport to the closest rest area, the first rest area… Ryuji comes with me, I tell him the secrets that are relevant to him and then he comes back here and sends in the next person… sharing a lot of this stuff with everyone all at once is a terrifying idea that makes my heart want to explode so this is the best option”
“That sounds like a good plan” Makoto calmly said but he raised a quick finger
“Also none of you are allowed to talk to me in the rest area and you’re not allowed to share what I said with anyone else, also please don’t overthink anything until I’m done because once I get through everyone I have some things to share with the entire group that could very easily permanently change your opinion of me…” despite the frown and tightly closed eyes he spoke as clearly as ever
He didn’t open his eyes or look at how they reacted, he was honestly far too terrified at the idea of that. He just walked towards the entrance to Mementos, took a deep breath and said “give me like two minutes then you can come Ryuji” before teleporting away.
Sure enough exactly two minutes later the blonde boy appeared, awkwardly approaching the small rest area that Joker was sitting in. He almost went to say something before Joker’s glare stopped him. They sat across from each other, both incredibly nervous about whatever was going to come out of Joker’s mouth. After a tense minute of breathing he opened his mouth and let it all pour out.
“Ryuji… you saved my life and I don’t just mean in the metaverse, which you have certainly done a lot. I mean you saved my life in reality. When I first arrived in Tokyo I was in a really bad place, the lowest point of my life, and if I’m being honest I was really struggling with the idea of… ending it so to speak” he noticed Ryuji’s eyes go wide, but he tried to avoid looking at him, “But then? You came into my life, you were there from the beginning. My best friend, my right hand man, the first one to come running the moment I’m in trouble no matter what happens”
He chuckled a bit, leaning back in his seat with his eyes closed.
“I don’t even know when it happened… but I know when I realized it, when I saw you talking to the track team guys? The way you handled that situation and helped sort everything out with them even though they hated you? That was the moment that I realized… that I love you, and not just in a best friend and teammate way I mean… in like… a romantic way” he made sure to not open his eyes, just taking a deep breath before saying, “That’s… all I had to say, you can head back and send in Ann in a few minutes”
He heard the boy get up and take a few awkward steps before he vanished. Finally Joker opened his eyes, his hands lightly trembling in front of him and a half formed grin on his face.
When Ryuji reappeared in the entryway with wide eyes and his face completely red, the others were a grab bag of concerned, worried and terrified for their own turns. That is, aside from Morgana and Futaba who’s jaws both dropped and looked at each other with a knowing nod.
A few minutes later Ann appeared in the rest area, looking even more nervous than Ryuji did. Joker waved and motioned for her to take a seat. He hadn’t ever seen her sweat like this and honestly he felt pretty bad about it, then again he also felt pretty bad for himself in this circumstance. He was dreading what he had to say to her but he dreaded the following conversation with everyone WAY more.
“Ann… ever since I started helping you become stronger I’ve been frustrated. Frustrated because I already know that you’re strong, one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I know when you broke down crying and I told you it’s because you’re kind, you said I was wrong but… that’s genuinely how I feel” he looked away from her without noting her expression and continued, “To be honest you’re incredible, you’re one of the kindest people I know and you’re such a breath of fresh air that can cheer me up better than anyone else”
He smirked and leaned his head back with his eyes closed again.
“I think it was that day on the roof, with Shiho right before she transferred schools that I finally pieced it together… Seeing how much you care about her, how much you care about your friends and everyone who’s important in your life made me reflect on how I felt about the people who are important in my life. When I saw you crying that day? It hurt, it hurt because I wanted to do anything to make you feel better because… well, because I love you… like, love you love you in the romantic way” he took in another deep breath, “That’s all… uh… you can send in Yusuke next”
He could hear her sniffling as she walked away and vanished. He felt that same feeling in his chest, all he wanted to do was whatever it took to make her feel better. With a soft chuckle he shook his head, preparing himself for even more.
A few minutes later Yusuke appeared, he certainly looked a lot more calm than the previous two had. To be fair that was sort of expected, the artist had always been incredibly composed compared to the two blondes but Joker had a good idea of how to read him at this point. The slight tilt of his head, the way his arms were folded… he was just as nervous as they were. Just like the others he sat wordlessly across from him before he began.
“Yusuke… I may want to channel a bit of your energy into this. You made me see the beauty in this world, before you were in my life? I quite frankly didn’t really give a damn about art or beauty or anything like that. But through our time pursuing the human heart? Through our time examining the forms of love? You opened my eyes to it all, you made me see the world for what it is” he grinned and leaned his head back with a chuckle, “The world is full of both beauty and vice… hope and desire, one cannot exist without the other”
He licked his lips, readying himself yet again.
“When you showed me your painting? I felt it, I felt everything you wanted it to convey. The beauty and sin of man, the light of hope that made life worth living. I think it was right then that I fully realized that if I was your hope? You were mine too… We talked so much about love and yet it took me that long to realize that I love you… eccentricity and all, I love you Yusuke” he let out a breath before slightly smiling, “That’s all… you can send in Makoto in a few minutes”
Yusuke took a moment longer to stand than the others, Joker never opened his eyes up but sort of assumed the artist was framing the scene with his hands as he usually did. He heard him slowly walk off before vanishing, finally opening his eyes and taking in a few more deep breaths.
Makoto arrived even more nervous than the others, which again was not surprising at all. She was the most easily flustered of the Phantom Thieves in spite of her tough and badass Queen side. He couldn’t help but laugh a single time, motioning for her to sit across from him. Her arms were crossed tight, an immediate sign that the others did as he asked and told no one what he had said, given that she was this wound up.
“Makoto… you and I really didn’t start off on the right foot. Truth be told, when you got yourself held captive by Kaneshiro I was furious with you, furious with the thought of what could happen to me and Ann and Ryuji and Yusuke… but most of all I was worried for you. In spite of our rough start we really got along great pretty much right after, I mean considering it’s you that’s not surprising” he grinned and closed his eyes again, always having an easier time when he did, “You’re not only brilliant but you’re strong, you’re not just badass you’re also empathetic and vulnerable and shy…”
With another deep breath it finally really dawned on him that he was saying all of this out loud.
“If I’m being honest, when my time being your fake boyfriend came to an end I was really kicking myself. I had so much fun on our dates, so much fun teasing you over it and watching you blush and overreact. I wanted nothing more than to continue that, not as a fake boyfriend, but as your real boyfriend. I chickened out of saying it at the time but… I love you, genuinely, I love you” his face flushed red for a moment, “Uh… and I am incredibly aware that this will completely ruin the wholesomeness of what I just said but I cannot stop myself… when you’re authoritative as Queen? It… that… makes me melt, every single time… uh… so you can uh… send Haru in in a few”
Perhaps unsurprisingly she was the hardest one to read as she left, she walked just the same as she normally did. He really hoped she had that bright red blush and didn’t hate him too much for that last comment. With another few deep breaths and a long drawn out sigh he was ready.
Haru was pretty easy to read for him at this point, she was so gentle and caring, not to mention soft and always worrying for him. But even so she walked with absolute conviction, there was no shyness, she knew that her friend needed help and she was here to hear him out. Which in this circumstance is literally the only thing any of them can do. She sits across from him with her hands in her lap, staring intently at him as he begins.
“Haru… when you joined us I felt so bad, to be honest I thought you were weak, I thought you were frail. If I’m being totally honest, which I have no choice but to be, I thought you were going to be a burden. But I was proven wrong so quickly that it made my head spin. Your gentleness is a part of your charm and while at first glance it makes you appear weak, beneath that gentleness is a study fortitude that I can only dream of” he smirked and leaned back as per tradition, “Helping you deal with your ex-fiance? Helping you navigate your family’s business? I continuously saw just how amazing you are”
He took a moment to collect himself with a breath.
“It was through that process that I saw all different sides of you, caring and nurturing to protective and slightly sadistic. You have depths that I never would have imagined when we first met, and the more I thought about that? The more I realized that I was smitten with you… Haru, I love you, I wish I could have said it sooner, I wanted to but… I got too nervous” he let out a nervous chuckle, “and now I guess I’m going to ruin the mood because my brain is forcing me to say this… uh… the hints of sadism I see? I really like… I’m uh… a pretty big masochist myself… you c-can send in Futaba next…”
He thought for a moment he heard a slight giggle as she got up and left. He wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted that to be real or just something he imagined, he didn’t know which one would be better. He certainly felt more at ease though, all of the hard ones were out of the way.
A few moments later a somewhat shaky Futaba appeared, luckily she had already been aware of his many crushes otherwise he would assume she’d be having a meltdown over seeing how everyone else reacted to the secrets. He waved her over and motioned for her to sit down across from him. He gently rested his chin in his hand for a moment with a smirk before speaking.
“Futaba… I’m extremely proud of you, it’s hard to think that just a few months ago you were completely locked in your room and too terrified to leave. Now look at you, you’re a crucial member of our team, you can go outside all on your own, and you’re a member of my family.” He smirked at her but kept his eyes open, “We sure have a weird family though, don’t we? You, me, dad and Morgana… and yet? I don’t think I’d rather have any other family in the world. I want to promise you this, even if I have to go back to my birth parents' home once this year is up. I’d love nothing more than to come back the year after and live in Leblanc forever. With my real family”
He sighed and gently rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking down at the ground.
“My folks aren’t… too great, I mean they haven’t even spoken to me since I got arrested. They’ve just been waiting for a chance to dump me off onto someone else… I never talk about them because I don’t want to complain or make anyone worry and… I… I don’t want to cry and look weak in front of everyone. But they neglected me a lot, they still neglect me. They’ve disowned me but I’ve disowned them right back, because I’ve got dad… and I’ve got you, little sis”
He sighed and stood up when he saw the tears in her eyes, she immediately got the message and jumped right into a hug. He gently patted her head and ruffled her long orange hair.
“Last one, send in Mona once you get back” he grinned at her, she silently nodded and walked a few feet away before teleporting back.
A few minutes later Morgana appeared, slowly walking over to sit across from him while he sat back down himself. At first he wasn’t really sure if there was much he needed to say to Morgana, he is with him all day every day after all. But then again it’s not like Joker was good at heart to hearts, so might as well take this opportunity.
“Morgana… to be honest there is something that’s been on my mind with you. Back when you left the Phantom Thieves? I really realized just how much I took you for granted. Having someone on my side that’s at my side whenever I need him, a friend and an ally that I can count on for anything, and yet somehow I didn’t even piece together how important you were to me until you left” he chuckled a bit to himself, “Sure you can get overly proud and cocky, and you definitely extort me for sushi way too often. But I don’t mind, because you do enough, you’re amazing. Without you the Phantom Thieves wouldn’t exist, without you I would have been expelled and thrown in jail, without you I wouldn’t have anyone by my side to help with the… nightmares”
He shuddered for just a moment at the thought before shaking himself free.
“So, I really hope you want to keep staying by my side. We’re partners after all, even more than that though, we’re friends and family. So yeah, maybe I can afford to give you some more fatty tuna every once and awhile… also since you’re the last one you can talk now”
“Heh… I can’t even say anything snarky Ren, that was just way too wholesome!” it wasn’t the expected reaction from Mona but it was one he was pleased to see, “Partners then! I’ll be by your side for as long as you’ll have me!”
“I’m glad to hear it” he smiled back at the not-cat before slowly looking towards the escalator, “...this is it…”
“This is it… you’ve got this” he chuckled a bit before walking forward with Mona at his side.
When he reappeared in the entryway most of the Thieves still had some level of blush on their cheeks. Thankfully though they appear to have all calmed down enough for this conversation, that he was not at all looking forward to.
They could all tell, aside from Mona and Futaba the others kept their eyes glued to Ren like hawks as he slowly paced around in front of them, they could all tell just how nervous he was.
“So… I said a lot of sappy things to each of you… I also said a lot of things I wanted to say earlier as well as a lot of… confession type things…” the others were all sitting against the wall while he paced a few feet in front of them, he collapsed to a seated position and started gripping the bridge of his nose, “Multiple confessions as a matter of fact… see, the reason why I never told anyone that I loved them is because… Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Haru… I love all five of you… r-romantically”
He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, but surely they noticed his entire body tense up.
“So I stayed quiet because I thought that if I acted on my feelings towards one of you then I’d have to sever my feelings for the remaining four of you, since I knew I couldn’t date all of you at the same time no matter how much I wanted to… and now that it’s out in the open I just hope that it doesn’t ruin any of our friendships or make things awkward because I’d really hate for that to happen but I totally understand if that’s the case because I’m such a fucking idiot that I couldn’t help but fall in love with all of you and I don’t even know h-” he was cut off of his high speed rambling by a hand over his mouth
He finally opened his eyes to see Makoto was the one who covered his mouth, the others all smiling genuinely at him much to his utter confusion.
“It’s rather poetic don’t you think?” Yusuke chuckled, framing the scene with his hands
“Totally! I really didn’t see that coming at all!” Ann giggled alongside him, her head resting on Yusuke’s shoulder
“I am rather glad for this status effect now” Haru giggled as well, standing just behind Makoto
“Dude ya totally coulda shared how you felt sooner!” Ryuji yelled but had a big grin on his face
Makoto slowly released her hand as he scanned over them in total bewilderment, “I… feel like I’m missing something”
“Ren, we all reciprocate those same feelings back at you” Makoto stated plainly but with a very happy and sweet inflection, “As a matter of fact we even have a group chat where we’ve talked about our feelings for you”
“H-...huh…”
“And when we were in that group chat and talking about our feelings we all sort of fell in love with each other as well!” Ann cheerfully explained, giggling at his continued confusion
“We’re all dating each other, and now you can join in dating all of us as well if you would like” Haru said, finally making everything click in Ren’s brain
“Wha.. you… are.. you’re all…” he looked around at them and blinked a few times, his brain slowly resetting with that new bombshell of information before he slowly smiled and then started to laugh, “Seriously? I’ve been worrying about that for nothing?”
He was still laughing when Makoto grabbed his shirt but his laughing turned to a gasp when she pushed her lips against his. It took him a moment to process but once he did he started kissing her back with all of the passion that he wished he had before.
When the kiss broke apart he barely had a chance to breathe before Haru pulled him in for another deep kiss, startling him a bit but he loved it. Kissing them back to back like that he noticed a few takeaways immediately, how differently they kissed him.
“So… did you know the others were all dating?” Morgana looked at the hacker who just gremlin laughed
“Of course I did, I’ve been waiting for this for like… ever!” she reclined back against the wall, waiting for the kissing session to end
Once all of his new lovers got a chance to kiss him he staggered his way up to his feet, face completely burned red beyond imagining, surrounded by five smiling Phantom Thieves.
“I… never would have imagined that this is how my day would have went” he was still completely stunned but he had to believe them now that they had all locked lips
“Ya know, now I’m kinda glad that Oracle asked that question before” Ryuji laughed while Ren looked confused
“I knew it was an important question! See big bro? Now all your lovers know you like to be dominated!” Futaba giggled maniacally at his gasp but he literally didn’t even have a response for that, what in the world could he respond with?
He jumped from a firm hand grabbing his waist, completely stunned to see Makoto pulling him in close, he felt incredibly embarrassed when he let out a weak needy whine in reaction, “Yes I do think that information will come very much in handy~”
“Yeah I wouldn’t have guessed that for Joker! If anything I pictured him being the one on top, but it’ll definitely be fun putting him in his place~” Ann giggled knowingly, her Thief suit really really made it all the much more terrifying to hear… in the best possible way
“It is quite a beautiful bit of irony, our fearless leader in battle is now a blushing mess” Yusuke chuckled, admiring the sight as if it were a masterpiece
“Gotta warn ya dude, Noir can be scary” he shared a knowing glance with Ryuji, immediately realizing that they held similar positions in the bedroom
Haru just giggled in response, a giggle that sent a powerful chill through Ren’s entire body while Makoto took him completely by surprise. She leaned forward, making him lean back as if they were dancing and gave him another passionate kiss, the action making him let out another adorably high pitched whine.
“Oh by the way, just scanned him with Prometheus, the status effect is gone! So I’ll take Mona home with me, figure you all might want to visit Leblanc together” Futaba giggled as she left, Mona right behind her who just sighed.
Ren had a pretty strong feeling that the rest of this year was going to be even more unforgettable than before.