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Gunfire fell like rain around him. Spider’s breath caught in his throat as each round fired past him - mini explosions detonating in his ears. The moss was cool underfoot and the bark was rough against his back, but Spider wasn’t aware of any of it crouching for protection behind the tree trunk. Shouts from the recoms and yelps from the enraged viperwolfs filled his ears as he hid from the line of fire, desperately hoping that the creatures would retreat - knowing they wouldn’t.
The squad had unknowingly disturbed a pack of them when Fike decided to try hunting a nearby yerik. He’d been unaware that the animal was also being stalked by a pack that hadn’t eaten in days, vicious for their meal. Unable to fend the whole pack off by himself, Fike had run back to camp for back up, leading them straight to the sleeping campmates. Without his bow, and mixed up in the stench of RDA equipment and clothing, the wolves hadn’t been able to distinguish Spider as a friend amongst foes. And so he was gasping for breath, hidden from the recoms and also, he hoped, the wolves.
A pause in the gunfire made Spider look behind him.
“Spread out!” Quaritch shouted.
“Push left, they’re circling round…” That sounded like Prager.
He considered running out from the tree and back to the centre of camp, but just then, the familiar gleam of yellow eyes in the dark stilled him. The reflective orbs belonged to a female viperwolf, twenty feet away and stalking him, pressed low to the ground. She was getting slowly closer, her gaze locked on him. Her mouth was curled in a snarl and slobbering hungrily. Spider didn’t have long. She was going to attack.
He had a split second to decide, knowing that if he stayed where he was, he would be nantang food for sure. Fear swelled in his stomach, manifesting in his quicker breaths and sweaty palms. For a moment, he stared at the animal, and the animal stared back, before he threw himself off the grass and out from the tree, intending to sprint back to camp and get behind someone with a gun.
Then, several things happened at once. He caught sight of Quaritch and the rest of the squad, rifles raised and fingers on triggers, trained on the treeline - right where he was. He just met eyes with the Colonel before he felt it. A ripping, searing, bolting pain straight through his side.
The world stilled. He felt sick.
He paused for a moment, confused as to what had happened, before his body gave way mid-stride, and before he knew it he was falling… falling down to meet the suddenly illuminated moss under his face. The pain was even more intense now, radiating away from his side and paralysing his every limb. His empty lungs gasped for oxygen that wouldn’t come. All he could do was try and pull in air from his mask - but it was impossible. Was his exopack broken? Why wasn’t there any air? He was making noises, he was sure of that, but the world seemed to have ended. There was nothing but pain. His right side felt hot and empty, and for a moment Spider considered the fact that maybe half of his torso had been blown away.
He’d been shot. He rolled over in the grass, trying desperately to free an arm to grip the wounded area over his hip, assessing the damage even knowing that he was probably going to feel the closing of the viperwolf’s jaws around his throat any moment now. His hand touched upon a hot, sticky surface that in his adrenaline fuelled state felt nothing like what skin should feel like.
He tried to grab hold of the wound, to close the open bullet hole and stem the bleeding, but before he could, other hands were touching him, rolling him over. Larger hands. A hand on his shoulder, a hand on his hip, then hands on his wound, over the top of his own. There were voices around him, shouting, angry, scared. He tried to focus on the words instead of the pain creeping around his whole body and threatening to make him pass out.
“Stage 4 penetrative gunshot…”
“... Stem the bleeding…”
“It’s over here…”
“...Iron Sky…”
Spider opened his eyes, trying for the first time to see what was going on around him. The pain was making it difficult to clear the black spots from his vision, and it was easier just to focus on the sensations on his body, the noises floating around him.
“Spider! It’s okay… you’re gonna be fine, kid.”
He blinked, trying to see the face that the voice belonged to. He knew that voice, he knew that its owner was trying to help him. The pain from his side swam in front of his eyelids, making it hard to focus on anything, but he persevered. The blurry outline of Quaritch’s face came into view. Spider watched as if he was a passenger in his own body, surprised to see the man’s usually calm and collected expression contorted into one of abject horror.
Spider grimaced. This couldn’t be good then. He tried to speak, but his tongue felt heavy and his mouth was numb. All he could focus on was the burning sensation over his right hip - the feeling of flesh ripped open and exposed to the toxic atmosphere. All he could manage was a strangled groan. It was the first intentional noise he’d made since he’d been hit, air finally permeating his lungs. Once he realised this, he couldn’t stop. Shouts, groans, hisses, curses… he bit his lip to stop himself.
“It’s okay, kid, we just need to sort this out, you’re gonna be fine,” Quaritch was muttering above him. Spider could feel the recom’s hands over his side, and he looked down for the first time as his vision finally cleared.
The sight made him wish he never did.
Glistening red coated Quaritch’s usually smooth blue forearms, the blood obscuring his stripes and leaking down to cover Spider’s entire torso, covering them both in the thick, sticky liquid. If it was the blood loss or the sight of it alone, a wave of nausea and dizziness overcame him, causing Spider to hit his head back against the soft forest floor. His hands were still trapped under Quaritch’s, pressing into the wound against his will. He screamed when his fingers slipped into something soft and squishy beneath his skin. Desperately, he thrashed to move his hands away from the wound, and Quaritch immediately released him, seeing that Spider was causing more harm than good to the area.
“Shit,” he heard from above him when his bullet wound was exposed for a moment.
“JA!”
Spider closed his eyes against the pain - it was too much, but there was nothing he could do… sickness swelled in his throat again, and he rolled to the side, dry retching before the sounds around him quietened and his vision began to blur.
“Spider!” That wasn’t Quaritch’s voice. That was someone else. “Spider!” They called again, and the urgency in their tone scared him. He opened his eyes as much as he could, though he was still left with only a thin strip of vision. Two blue faces were directly above him, peering down at him wearing similar expressions of fear. Ja was the most collected out of the two of them. “That’s it Spider, keep your eyes open. Do not let them close, you hear me?”
Spider tried to groan a response, and he hoped that Ja understood he would try. It was so, so hard. He couldn’t think about anything but the pain. The man’s next words weren’t spoken to him, but unfortunately for Spider, he heard them loud and clear.
“I have to remove the bullet.”
A pause.
“Here? Now?”
The words floated over Spider like a story being told when you’re half asleep. “It’s hit an artery… kidney’s ruptured…”
“You’re gonna put him out, right?”
“No can do, Colonel,” Ja was speaking with something in between his teeth, busy handling something. “We don’t have time. If he passes out, he passes out.”
At these words, Spider suddenly felt more awake than he had since going down. His eyes widened and panic started to flow through his remaining bloodstream, replacing exhaustion and dizziness with terror and fear. “No….” he tried to shout, grasping out to stop Ja’s practised hands from coming near him. Quaritch immediately grabbed both of his hands in his own bloodied grip, pinning them to the ground. “No!” Spider called out again, uncaring how desperate he sounded. Ja was about to perform open surgery on the forest floor.
Quaritch moved himself so he was closer to Spider’s head, bending over him and forcing Spider to look him in the eyes.
“Spider! Look at me! You’re gonna be fine, just focus on breathing… in, out… with me, see?”
Spider tried to follow along, but shouts from around him only sent him into further panic.
“Hold him down!”
“Z, hold this, shine it right in, I need to see… Prager, start opening the bandages and find the cautery. It’s clearly labelled.”
Spider whimpered, trying to refocus on the face immediately in front of him. He could feel tears slipping down the sides of his face… or was it transferred blood? He screamed as his side suddenly felt like it was being prized apart, ripped open by the skin, and something cold was inserted inside his abdomen. His throat felt like it was going to tear open with the ferocity of his cries, but all the while he could hear gentle murmuring above him, reassuring phrases coming from the man who had, after all, put him in this situation. “Please!” He gasped, thrashing under the weight of at least two recoms holding him down. He was close to passing out. He could feel his limbs start to give up, feel his mind slowing and his thoughts slurring. He stopped screaming. His eyes closed.
Burning, fire. Heat. The smell of seared flesh. Blood.
He was cold. Some time had passed - he must have passed out. Why had he woken up again? Please, let me go back to sleep… Let me escape…
Frustration at his semi-conscious state bubbled its way through him, replacing the dull throb of his side…
Wait- A dull throb. It still ached, it still felt like it was killing him… but there was no denying it - the pain had lessened. Hope bloomed in his chest for the first time since he’d been shot. He didn’t know how long it had been. He didn’t have any idea where he was. But this was better than the last memory he had.
Slowly, painfully, he blinked his heavy eyes open. Bright light shone down into his eyes - a flashlight - and then it was removed. He blinked in the nighttime forest darkness. The forest. He was still in the forest.
“Spider?”
He groaned, focusing his bleary eyes on his dad - hovering over him.
“...Hurts,” he managed to get out.
“I know kid, you’re doing great. Hold tight, we gotta get you outta here.”
Before Spider could fully form another thought, he was being pulled upwards, strong hands sliding under his back and legs. Quaritch picked him up hurriedly, carrying him close to his chest to Eywa knows where. He had no idea what was happening. He didn’t know how bad it really was, he didn’t know what his chances were, he didn’t know what was going to happen next. But he knew, as he was carried in Quaritch’s strong embrace, that the man above him was going to do anything he could to save him.
******************
Miles had never been a religious man. He always thought that people stupid enough to rely on prayers must be useless enough to get what they deserved. However, that day everything in him changed.
Spider was stumbling towards him, clutching his side with a look of pained confusion in his eyes. For the length of a heartbeat, Miles was confused too.
Then it became excruciating clear what had happened.
Blood was spreading quickly beneath the boy's fingers, leaking down his side and leg. Even in the darkness, it was clear as day. The blood reflected the light from the moon and plants, appearing black in colour.
Then, Spider collapsed. Miles had never moved so fast in his life. He forgot all about the wolves circling behind the squad. He even shoved aside the realisation that Spider had been shot by one of his team. His heart was in his mouth as he sprinted towards his boy, catching sight of the viperwolf who’d chased him out of his hiding place and into the line of fire. He drew his rifle up as he charged, yelling as he open fired, round after round until the animal was dead. Whether it was his bullet or someone else’s that hit the target, he didn’t know or care. He just fell to his knees over Spider, laying on the ground, whimpering, getting more and more soaked with blood as the moments ticked by. “Spider!”
The boy’s hands were still clutching his wound, and Miles prized them off to assess the damage. He’d seen his fair share of battle wounds in his time, he’d even seen wounds like this on kids before. On innocent civilians. But on Spider? The whole world was suddenly collapsing.
He wouldn’t think about losing the kid. He wouldn’t. “Prager! JA!” He shouted, yelling for the medic as he pressed his hands firmly down over the wound. Spider yelped in pain, but said nothing. His eyes were unfocused, head lolling back. “Spider! Stay with me kid, keep your eyes open!”
Spider didn’t seem to hear him, but a second later Ja came skidding down next to Miles in the grass, immediately searching through his trauma kit. “Ja…” Miles began, not sure whether he was trying to command his officer to work quickly or seek some kind of reassurance from him.
Ja’s brow was furrowed tightly - he had faint blood splashes over his face from fighting the viperwolves, and for the first time since Spider had been shot, Miles thought about the rest of the pack. Glancing around, he could see the clearing was mostly empty, only Z-dog and Fike were visible, both with their weapons trained on the treeline. The others must have chased off the remaining animals.
“Bullet’s lodged in…” Ja mumbled as he examined the wound with practised hands, ignoring Spider’s incoherent cries. “It’s hit an artery. I need to remove it.”
It took a second for the words to sink in. “Here? Now?”
Ja nodded grimly, already reaching for the equipment. “His kidney’s ruptured…”
“You’re gonna put him out, right?”
“No can do, Colonel,” Ja was holding a pack of bandages between his teeth, ripping open a sterilising pack and wiping down some sort of metal instrument. “There isn’t time. If he passes out, he passes out.”
Fuck. Miles moved himself away from the site and over to Spider’s head. The kid was still awake, but barely. He hastily wiped his blood stained hands on the moss beneath them, before cupping Spider’s masked face and forcing him to look at him. “Spider? Can you hear me? You’re gonna be fine, we’re gonna fix you up. Just keep your eyes open.”
Spider’s eyes flickered as he stared into Miles’s deep, anxious irises. Despite his terror, Miles could keep a mask in place for Spider. The image of calm and assuring. As long as Miles could act like it, both he and Spider could believe it.
He fumbled for the larger button on his neckpiece - the one that would call the RDA’s most prized aircraft on Pandora. “Iron Sky, this is Blue One on actual.”
“Blue One, this is Iron Sky, send your traffic,” came the unfamiliar voice of the ship’s pilot.
“We need immediate medical assistance, requesting a pick up at sector 14. Stage 4 major trauma.”
Ja had yelled for Zdinarsk, calling her over and telling her to hold the flashlight above the wound for him. Miles’s heart was hammering its way up his throat, but he kept his hand steady on Spider’s cheek as he waited for a response.
“Approved. Rally point 14. ETA 36 minutes.”
There wasn’t time to think about what would happen when the RDA and Ardmore in particular found out that it was Spider who was the casualty.
“Hold it high Z, I need to see…” Ja’s voice brought Miles back to the forest. “Colonel, Prager, hold him down!”
“No…” Spider was moaning, trying to wriggle away despite his exhaustion.
Miles snapped back into action, dropping his thumb from the communicator and using both of his hands to pin Spider’s wrists down by his sides. “It’s okay, kid. Spider! Look at me! You’re gonna be fine, just focus on breathing… in, out… with me, see?”
Terror was the only emotion spilling out of Spider’s panicked eyes. “Please!” Spider begged, weak hands still struggling to get free as he pleaded with Miles. Words failed in the man’s throat. There was nothing he could say - nothing he could say to make it better. For once in his life, Miles was completely powerless.
Eywa, please… save him.
Spider screamed as Ja went into the wound. Miles wasn’t looking, he didn’t need to see. His gaze was fixed on Spider’s face, hushing comforting words that fell on deaf ears. It was the only thing he could think to do. Finally, Spider’s eyes rolled back in his head, and he went limp.
“Ja! Talk to me!” Miles yelled, finally turning around to look at the injury site.
Ja’s mouth was closed in concentration, Zdinarsk was looking like she was trying not to vomit, and Fike had materialised out of nowhere, rummaging through Ja’s trauma kit to find a requested piece of equipment.
“... I got it,” Ja said levelly, slowly removing the bullet with a pair of tweezers, his hands and arms coated in Spider’s blood. “Cautery…” he mumbled, examining the object to make sure it was whole and holding out a hand for the piece of equipment that would sear Spider’s artery closed.
Miles didn’t realise he was holding his breath, as Ja instructed Prager to hold the wound open while he went in with the small metal instrument, trying to find the artery through all the blood. Throughout it all, the field medic remained the picture of calm; his movements were swift and stable, cauterising the wound with practised ease. Soon, the smell of burnt flesh filled Miles’s nose.
Though he was glad for it, it worried him that Spider had passed out. The lack of any noise or movement suddenly made it seem as though the kid had died, but Ja wasn’t flustered. After an agonisingly long minute, he finally seemed satisfied, and requested more padding from the medkit, stuffing the wound with white cotton before bandaging gauze around it.
“It won’t hold for long, but it should be enough to stabilise him until we get him back to Bridgehead,” Ja confirmed. Lastly, he pulled a syringe from the bag and drew a small measure of a clear liquid out of a plastic vial.
“What’s that?” Miles asked.
“Local anaesthetic,” the medic mumbled as he injected the area. “He needs adrenaline too…”
Miles bit his tongue, wanting to tell the man to hurry up, even though he knew he’d just saved Spider’s life.
“Is he gonna be okay?” He asked, urgency infecting his voice.
“He should last to Bridgehead… but he’s lost a lot of blood. He could arrest mid-flight.”
Miles swallowed, looking back to Spider’s closed eyes. His mask was smeared with blood, but the skin underneath was pale and sallow.
“As soon as the adrenaline’s in, let’s move him,” Ja instructed.
Fike immediately got up to call the banshees. The squad had heard the conversation Miles had had with Iron Sky, they knew the plan. They had little time to get to sector 12. The rally point was probably a 20 minute ikran flight away, but it was better than waiting for the huge ship to come to them, in the middle of hostile territory.
“Adrenaline going in…” Ja spoke.
Miles watched Spider carefully for signs of life, the only reassuring sign being the faint hisses from the exopack that told the squad he was still breathing. They could barely see his chest rise and fall, it was so shallow. Then, his eyes fluttered. Miles wasted no time. That was good enough for him. He scooped his semi-conscious son into his arms and hurried over to where Cupcake and the other ikran were perched at the edge of the clearing.
A groan escaped Spider’s lips, “Hurts…” he mumbled as Miles carefully clambered aboard Cupcake, trying to jostle Spider as little as possible. The rest of the squad were packing up, or mounting their own rides, and Miles wasn’t going to waste a second longer waiting around. As soon as his queue connected with his animal’s, Cupcake squawked loudly and took to the sky. He hoped she couldn’t feel every ounce of fear as intensely as he did. He wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.
In reality, he’d only known his son for a few weeks, but that had been Miles’s whole life. Memories of the human Quaritch were fading day by day, like old abandoned photographs covered in dust. Eventually, they became unrecognisable. His new life as a recombinant was steadily replacing everything he thought he knew about the world… about himself. And Spider was a huge part of that. He found himself realising as they flew through the night that picturing a life without Spider was too uncomfortable and frightening to even imagine.
How had it got to this point?
The cold wind whipped past them from the speed at which they were travelling. Miles pulled Spider closer to his chest, one arm supporting him as he laid across his lap. Miles had judged it too risky to try and sit Spider astride the animal, so he remained in a cradled position where Miles could see his face at all times.
“D- Dad…” came the softest groan.
Miles’s heart leapt in his chest. “It’s okay, boy, I’m here. You’re gonna be fine.”
“M’ cold…”
“Shh, it’s okay, you just gotta hold on a little bit longer.” Miles could feel the boy starting to shiver in his hold, and he noticed with a jolt that the kid’s lips were turning blue. He cursed under his breath, letting go of Cupcake’s tendril entirely, trusting her to keep a straight course while he turned as best he could to pull out his jacket from the pack attached to the back of the saddle. He tried not to jostle his son, but it was inevitable, and Spider cried out until Miles turned back around, having pulled out the rain jacket. He placed it gently over Spider, noticing the slowly growing red patch under Spider’s bandages. He wrapped the kid up in it as much as possible, tucking it in around Spider’s neck and hitching his legs up to fit underneath. He was like putty in Miles’s arms, all energy drained and fighting to stay awake.
“You still with me kid? Don’t let those eyes close, do you hear me?”
“Wher’ we… goin’?” Spider slurred, and Miles felt hopeful for the first time that the kid seemed able to sustain a conversation.
“Back to Bridgehead. They can fix you up good back there, okay?” Spider’s eyes fluttered closed. “Spider?” He shook the boy so as to wake him. “Spider! Don’t go to sleep…”
Spider’s eyes blinked open a couple of times before focusing on Miles’s face. The kid was staring at him, trying to keep his eyes open. “Finally gonna sleep in a bed huh? Makes a change, right?” Miles said randomly, trying to make light of the situation. Anything to keep Spider talking.
“Don’ let th’m… p-put m’back…”
Miles had to strain to hear Spider’s words over the wind, but when he realised what his boy had said, a thrill of anxiety shivered its way down his gut. Spider was talking about the machine.
Even now, as he lay practically dying in Miles’s arms, he was worried that Miles would fix him up and send him straight back to the neuroscanner for information. Throw him to the wolves.
“I won’t,” Miles immediately replied. “I won’t. They’re gonna fix you up, no problem. And when you’re better we’ll be straight back out here. Just us and the squad. No more Bridgehead.”
Spider made a noise in his throat that sounded like a groan. It could have been an attempt at a response, or it could have been a noise of pain. “Pr… prom…”
“Promise.”
He pulled Spider closer, ensuring the jacket stayed wrapped around him, and rubbed the kid’s arm over the fabric, trying to get some friction into his deathly cold skin. “Just hold on, it’s only a little bit longer…”
There was no noise. No acknowledgement. “Spider!” Fuck, the kid’s eyes had closed again. Miles remembered what Ja had said about Spider arresting. “Spider! Goddamnit, wake up!”
He slipped his fingers around the kid’s wrist, trying to feel for a pulse. Before he could even feel anything, Spider seemed to wake up again. “Jesus, kid. Stop doing that! Tell me something. Tell me about your life before I got here.” Miles didn’t care what the kid said. He didn’t care if Spider wanted to hero worship Sully all over again when it was him who was the one actually looking out for him, he just needed Spider to keep talking.
Spider didn’t answer, so Miles prompted him again. “Who were your forest friends?”
“Kiri…” Spider answered straight away. He couldn’t smile, but the ghost of warmth seeped through his voice when he spoke the name.
“That the girl? Tell me about her.” Keep talking.
“Sh… sh’s ‘mazing. Sh’s… spe- special…” Spider voice was so faint.
“How’s she special huh?” Miles didn’t care one jot. He shouldn’t be surprised the kid had a crush on Sully’s kid, and if it were any other day he would have felt some strong feelings about it. But not today. Not now.
“Sh… sh’s… Eywa…”
Miles frowned. Spider wasn’t making any sense. That or he hadn’t understood right. “She’s Eywa?”
Cupcake squawked beneath them, but Miles paid her no heed as she continued to sail stealthily through the night to the rally point. He only urged her on faster with his mind.
“...Knows… Eywa…” Spider grimaced against the pain.
“You're doing great, kid.” What are you talking about? “Who are the others? Your friends? Tell me their names.”
Spider whimpered as Cupcake banked. He seemed to steel himself before replying. “L- Lo… Lo’ak.” He paused, summoning strength. “Tuk,” he managed to huff out in one painful breath.
“Tuk’s the little one, right?”
“Y…yeah.”
Miles thought about how they’d been so close to apprehending the whole lot of them. He wondered how different things would be had Tuk, Kiri and Lo’ak not escaped. Would he and Spider have had the time together in the forest to get to know each other? Would Sully have handed himself in? Would he be dead by now? Would Spider still be a prisoner of the RDA?
He couldn’t imagine not having the kid around him any more.
Spider whimpered again.
“You might hate me kid, but I’m sure as Hell glad I got you, and I ain’t losing you any time soon. So don’t you dare go giving up on me.” He stared down at Spider’s pale face, contorted in discomfort. His lips were parted in distress, and his skin was sweaty and clammy. He felt it then - the swelling feeling of warmth he’d only felt before in contained amounts. Now, it hit him with the force of a dump truck. That was his kid. Everything about him was perfect - was Miles’s. He was responsible for everything about him, from the way his hair was knotted to the fact that he was bleeding out.
And he’d failed. He’d failed in his duty to protect.
Spider didn’t speak, but his mouth moved into a shape that might have resembled a smile. “Do you hear me kid?” Miles demanded. He wanted to yell at him, to scream that from this point on, he wouldn’t let anything hurt him. He would fight tooth and nail for Spider, he’d do whatever it took to keep him safe, and to the largest extent possible, happy.
He didn’t say any of it though. He ran his hand around Spider’s face, cupping it as best he could against the mask. “I’m not losing you,” he repeated.
“S’okay…” Spider mumbled, “M’good at not dying…”
Miles wanted to shout, laugh or maybe even cry. Even half awake and delirious from blood loss, Spider was self aware enough to make light of the situation.
Miles wasn’t expecting Spider to voice his feelings - he knew the kid too well. But the way that Spider’s head was lolling into the crook of his elbow, face turned into Miles’s chest, was enough for him.
“Keep it up just a little longer, hotshot,” he said, scanning the ground for the Dragon Assault Ship.
There, in the distance. He checked his watch, confirming the coordinates. He pressed a finger to the button on his communicator, instructing the squad to fly straight into the belly of the ship. He could hear Ja relying the medical information to the ship’s command as they approached, informing the med team what needed to be prepared.
Cupcake swooped down lower, closing the distance easily over the treetops, squawking angrily. Miles could feel her disdain at approaching the ship, but urged her on regardless. Whatever Ardmore thought, whatever his orders would be, Miles knew now that he had a different mission. A more important one than the one he was bred for. One that would last his entire lifetime and any future lives that RDA decided to bless him with.
The child in his arms whimpered as the wind of the ship’s turbines swept over them forcefully, almost knocking Cupcake off course as she came into land in the ship’s open belly. Whatever awaited them there, Miles knew in his heart - Spider was all that mattered now.