Chapter Text
Satoru has given up on the thought of soulmates.
Yeah of course he spends a few years waiting with bated breath, waking up to obsessively check over his skin in the hopes that overnight a name has appeared to show his soulmate had been born.
But when he ends up with nothing to show for it, eventually he gives up.
Sure, it's not uncommon for there to be an age gap but it's still annoying to wait. And why should he?
He's the strongest. Why would he have a soulmate? There's no one he could possibly call his equal, his other half. Not everyone has a soulmate anyway, so Satoru accepts that he's just one of those people and moves on with his life.
Still, Satoru can’t deny that seeing people walk around with the names of their special someone written on their skin, carved on their skin, a clear sign for anyone that they’ve been claimed, that they’re owned—
It rankles, that he can’t have the same.
So Satoru tells himself he’s not waiting.
He tells himself that right up until he wakes up one day at the age of thirteen, rubs his eyes, and sees a flash of ink that wasn’t there the night before splashed across his palms.
Itadori Yuuji.
His hands are trembling, some distant part of his mind notes. Satoru hardly cares. He has a soulmate and better yet, it's on his hands. There's no mistaking it, no real hiding it.
Yes, there's gloves but it makes him positively giddy that it's in a place so easy to show off, able to be thrust into people's faces, literally. He knows that he'll be doing it constantly, for the rest of his life even.
Today’s my soulmate’s birthday, Satoru thinks to himself. He all but flies out of his bed, scrambling to find the date. It’s not something he normally cares about, but today, he does. Today it matters.
He’s walking on air for the rest of the day. He wants to investigate, figure out exactly who his soulmate is and where.
Luckily the name is in kanji so they’re at least Japanese, that narrows it down.
It takes all of his willpower not to track them down. But he decides to wait. A baby is still a baby, even if it is his soulmate.
Satoru can wait a little longer. Maybe fifteen would be a good age to meet? The age difference is a bit large but he can’t find it in himself to wait much longer than that.
Fifteen, he promises himself. They can start to get to know each other then.
He lasts five years.
Honestly, it’s not his fault!! Satoru is used to getting what he wants. And as the years drag on, he wants. Yes, he knows his soulmate is too young to truly give him anything. They deserve to live their own life, he doesn’t want to take away their childhood, etc, etc.
But Satoru is a gaping hole and he yearns to be filled. Knowing that he has a soulmate somewhere has made him near unbearable. No one’s soulmate is as good as his soulmate. And as much as the people around him roll their eyes and mutter beneath their breath about his near-constant showering of praise, he doesn’t let it get to him. He knows he’s right.
The fact that everyone likes to point out that he hasn’t met his yet doesn’t matter.
Except, when he finds out the name of the elementary school that Yuuji goes to, and he ends up being nearby on a mission well…
He can’t help himself. Satoru is only going to look, he tells himself.
It’s not like he’ll be able to pick out his soulmate from a cluster of five-year-olds anyway.
So that’s how he finds himself leaning against a fence, idly watching a bunch of kids playing. It’s recess so his blue eyes roam over their figures, wondering which one is his.
It’s probably a little creepy, he can admit. Luckily, he looks pretty young himself, and he has an excuse in Megumi if anyone comes up to question him. Maybe he should feel worse about hanging out outside an elementary school, hands in his pockets watching a bunch of kids but Satoru really, really doesn’t.
Which one are you? he wonders with a small smirk. He doesn’t expect an answer to his question. Though Satoru gets little bits of information here and there about his soulmate, he makes sure not to get any photos or anything too in-depth. He wants to get to know his soulmate naturally, even if he is keeping vague tabs on the boy.
A ball flies over the fence, narrowly avoiding hitting against his Infinity and Satoru blinks as it makes his hair flutter. That was a pretty powerful throw from a five-year-old, he thinks, though he doesn’t really have a big gauge on what kids’ strength should be, Megumi notwithstanding.
Still, he’s not a monster so he goes to grab it and turns just in time to see a blur collide with the fence.
“Hiya!” a bright voice calls. “Thanks for grabbing my ball!”
The chain link obscures the boy's face so Satoru doesn’t get a good look until he’s leaning over the top of it, grinning down at him. “No problem! Nice throw…” He trails off gripe slacking and releasing the red ball. It bounces away, on the boy’s side of the fence.
The boy doesn’t immediately turn to get it, instead shooting Satoru a wide smile. “Thank you!! Sorry it almost hit you.”
“It’s okay…” Satoru hears himself mumble. It’s all happening far away though.
Inside himself, a hurricane is brewing. Because across one cheek, in big bold kanji, is Gojo and on the other is Satoru.
Soulmate marks matter in different ways. They say something about the person’s soulmate; it’s their name, yes, but it can also show a bit of personality, in the colors, the placement, and the size.
Yuuji’s soulmate mark is on his face in the darkest black, taking up the entirety of each cheek.
It’s clear as day. Ownership: this one belongs to Satoru, back off.
Satoru’s so pleased, he’d tear the world apart, all for this one boy, if he only said the word.
“Say,” Satoru says, curling his hands into fists, and leaning over the top of the fence, feeling it dig into his stomach but not caring a whit, “what do you think of your soulmate?”
Yuuji, for his part, doesn’t blink at this total stranger asking him a personal question out of nowhere. Instead, he smiles wide and answers like he gets this a lot (which makes another part of Satoru purr with absolute pleasure at the thought), “I love him!”
“Oh, you do? ” Satoru coos, incredibly enamored already.
Yuuji nods frantically, fluffy brown hair bobbing with the motion. “Yep!” He turns then to run to grab the ball and Satoru follows on the other side of the fence, slouching a bit as watches Yuuji from the corner of his eye.
“Have you met him yet?”
“No,” Yuuji answers immediately. “But I know he’ll be great!” he says this with utter conviction, like if he believes it enough it’s bound to be true.
Satoru smiles wide. “I’m sure he will be, the best and strongest!”
“Mmhm!” Yuuji agrees. Then a whistle interrupts them and Yuuji, holding the ball close to his chest, looks over his shoulder at the rest of his class scampering out of sight. “I havta go now! Bye!”
Satoru barely suppresses the urge to wave him goodbye. Instead, he presses a few fingers into his lips, feeling the way his smile spreads across his face, a little manic in the corners.
He always knew his soulmate would be perfect. How could they not be, if they belonged to Satoru himself? Still, the absolute delight that Yuuji is in just a few short minutes is indescribable. Irresistible.
Originally, he was just going to take a peek and then continue waiting. Satoru thought he could do that.
But now things are different. He knows Yuuji, just a tiny bit.
It's not enough.
The hole inside himself yearns for more, more, more.
Still, he makes himself hold back, just a little. Satoru doesn't want to take Yuuji's childhood away from him, doesn't want to tie him to a soulmate so soon.
If they were closer in age it wouldn't be a problem but while the thought makes an angry ball of jealousy well up inside him, Satoru doesn't want Yuuji to adhere to what he thinks Satoru might want from him. Satoru wants Yuuji to be able to make his own choices.
The road they're on leads only to each other, that Satoru is sure of. But Yuuji doesn't need to walk that path so young. He has time for that.
Thinking it doesn't make it easier.
So Satoru lingers. He appears at the edges of Yuuji's life. Not enough to impact it, not enough to change anything. He just needs to see him.
Yuuji is a shining star, a burning sun on a rainy day, and Satoru is absolutely gone for him. Every smile, every laugh that's directed at someone who isn't Satoru makes him clench his fists.
Soon, he tells himself. But it's never soon enough. The days inch by, and the months seem like they drag.
He breaks his own promise when Yuuji turns six. He sends a gift, and signs it 'Love, Your Soulmate'.
It's a bright yellow backpack, with a small tiger face on the flap.
Because Satoru had noticed Yuuji's old backpack getting a little frayed. But also, this one he got overseas so he knows no one else will have it and it's bright enough to notice in a crowd. Satoru never wants to miss Yuuji, not once.
The years pass like that.
Satoru has never been good at yearning before but waiting for his soulmate to hurry up and grow up has certainly made him something of an expert.
He's not even subtle about it either. Anyone who knows him just a little bit gets to listen to him whine and moan when he's feeling down about it, then gush with praise at the latest bit of news when he's happy.
"You certainly talk a lot about someone you don't even speak with," Shoko noted one time, smoke billowing around her face.
"Not yet," Satoru corrected. "Soon we'll be together and you'll be able to hear him spew compliments constantly about me!"
Shoko had raised one unimpressed brow. "You sure about that?"
He'd snorted and waved her off. Of course, Yuuji would love Satoru with everything he had. It wasn't hard to tell with the way he showed off his gifts so proudly.
Right?
Satoru ignores the little voice inside himself that whispers that Yuuji could get to know him and reject him utterly. Or, worse, love him but only certain aspects. Respect him, adore him, but only for being the strongest, for being rich, for a million pieces of Satoru but not the whole of him.
He ignores that no one has looked at the whole of him and wanted what they saw there.
So he watches Yuuji grow from a distance. Watches him participate in sports, watches him dye his hair pink, watches, watches, watches.
For someone who didn't want to wait for a soulmate, he does a lot of it, Satoru thinks to himself with a scoff.
There's a finish line somewhere, the looming fifteenth birthday. Satoru waits for it, hardly daring to breathe as it gets closer and closer.
(There's a selfish part of himself that hopes that Yuuji is waiting for him too. Satoru doesn't allow himself to talk to Yuuji to try to prod him in a certain direction. He sends him birthday and Christmas presents with a very short note, though he wants to write more. He doesn't want to interfere with Yuuji's life, wants to let him make his own choices. Still, there's a small, very small voice that hopes that he'll still be able to take Yuuji's firsts. Any first: kiss, date, more, more, more. He wants to devour Yuuji, entirely.)
Then Yuuji's grandfather gets sent to the hospital.
Satoru knows about it and continues to get updates. When it becomes clear that the eldest Itadori is never coming home, he wavers at what to do. Yuuji is fourteen, almost fifteen. Is that enough?
He's loitering outside of Yuuji's home trying to decide when the boy he's agonizing over comes out the front door. They lock eyes and even through his bandages it sends a shiver down his spine.
There's nothing else to do except paste on a smile and saunter up. His palms are sweaty and his heart is beating faster than he's ever felt before. Yuuji eyes him but there's no fear in the expression, only mild confusion at this stranger who is coming closer.
"Yuuji-kun!" Satoru greets and ignores the way it makes Yuuji's brow furrow. "I've been meaning to meet you. Do you have some time?"
"Who are you?" Yuuji asks. The question is valid. Satoru tilts his head with a hum. There's a million ways he planned on doing this but his mind is utterly blank, here, now, in this moment.
So he just goes with it. Shows his hands, palms out like he's not a threat.
Like he's begging for something to fill them.
Watches hungrily for Yuuji's every expression.
At first there's nothing, a sort of blankness. Then his eyes widen and his head shoots up. "Really!? Satoru-san? It's really you??"
"Call me Satoru," he says. Then Infinity drops without a thought as Yuuji hurls himself at him, his arms suddenly filled with a very sturdy teenager.
He laughs, the sound so filled with joy for a second Satoru doesn't even recognize it coming from himself.
Yuuji nuzzles into his chest, hands clutching the back of his jacket so tightly, it might rip. Satoru couldn't care less.
"I've been waiting for you," Yuuji breathes. Then he looks up, that bright hazel brown meeting blue. "What took you so long?" There's a hint of sadness, of longing swimming in those eyes, and Satoru swallows.
What can he say? I thought it would be best, I didn't want to influence you, I wanted you to have a normal life, I'm selfish and I will ruin you.
What he ends up saying is, "I'll never leave your side again."
Yuuji smiles and that's that. It's all Satoru had to say because Yuuji relaxes back into his embrace as if that's all he needed to hear.
"Good, I never want you to leave," Yuuji says.
And it's a promise, an unbreakable vow.
One Satoru would rather reshape the world than ever, ever break.