Chapter Text
It had been quite a while since J.D. had gone on a date with anyone or hell, even went home with anyone for a one night stand. Work had been particularly strenuous as of late and it was beginning to really wear him down.
And J.D. wasn't a stranger to the harsh realities of hospital life. He was 99% sure that it was the reason he had no social life. Seriously, you try working an 18 hour shift then going out to a bar or club and trying to pick up someone. You smell awful, you look like you're half dead. It wasn't his fault.
J.D. walked down the hallway towards the Nurse's Station intent on finding Carla and asking for some advice when he showed up. The young attending licked his lips and stopped his approach just staring.
Dr. Cox was in a world of his own, completely oblivious to everyone around him. He was walking, no stomping, down the hall opposite of J.D. but barely paying any attention. J.D. noted Carla was absent from her post at the desk and so were most of the nurses, probably rushing to deal with some code.
J.D. began to wonder what kind of life he'd have if he and Dr. Cox had actually gotten together. It was ludicrous, sure, but he often enjoyed escaping into fantasy to deal with the unpleasantness of his actual life. He didn't care if it was childish. It was a coping mechanism he'd long since acquired right around the time his parents split up.
He watched Dr. Cox pause at the desk and lean over it beginning to make several notes on a patient's chart. He watched the way a few of his curls dipped down across his forehead, the way he studied the chart so intently, so seriously. His heart ached suddenly at the realization of what could never be.
It was at that inopportune time that the man he had grown so close to over the last several years looked up. J.D. felt like a deer in headlights.
Dr. Cox whistled sharply and said, “Just what do you think you're doing? Daydreaming in the middle of the hallway?!”
J.D.'s mouth gaped open and closed like a fish until his brain was able to scramble and bring him back up to speed. “Uhh... sorry, Dr. Cox. I was just uh-”
“Get over here!” he barked and turned back to his chart.
Racing over to the desk he fell in step with Dr. Cox as he began to lead him away from there and back down the hall from where he came.
J.D. stifled a yawn with his fist and tried to keep pace with the rapid movement of Dr. Cox as they maneuvered down the hall.
“God, they just keep screwin' us, don't they? They don't care about the patients, they don't care about actually helping people, this place is just one giant money machine.”
The younger doctor glanced at his mentor and noticed the tired look on his face. It was nearing 3am but that wasn't why. J.D. guessed it had to do with the short staff of late and his having to pick up the slack of working overtime and extra hours on top of the already ridiculously long shift Dr. Cox already had.
“You're right.” he mumbled.
Dr. Cox paused and faced him. “What?”
The younger man shrugged. “I said you're absolutely right. Dr. Kelso and the board of directors don't care about anything but money.”
Perry looked at him like he had two heads before moving to continue walking forward if not more hesitantly this time. “Yeah, well... something's gotta change around here. I'm serious. This time I'm gonna do something... big. I've gotta stop this.”
It was J.D.'s turn to pause their march down the hallway as he grabbed Dr. Cox's arm to slow him as well. “What are you going to do? You can't possibly change Dr. Kelso's mind about the hiring freeze. You're going to get into trouble and ruin your career.”
He was genuinely concerned that the man was getting more and more destructive when it came to his protests and “getting around the rules”. After all, at a certain point it was just insubordination.
“Look Newbie, don't worry so much about me. I know what I'm doing.” he grinned and continued on down the hall without him.
J.D. sighed already imagining the kind of trouble he was going to be in. His mind fluttered back to the thoughts of what he could do to change his mind. If he were in a better position, say dating the man he could withhold sex. Or even just talk to him heart to heart to convince him.
Wait... why was he even thinking that way? What was wrong with him? He shook his head to try to clear the intrusive thoughts and focused on finding Dr. Cox again to catch up. He sure walked fast.
…
J.D. was laying in one of the bunk beds in one of the on-call rooms trying to clear his mind. It was much later, nearing 5am and to say he was tired was the understatement of the year.
He allowed his eyes to close, hoping to get a brief nap in before the majority of the hospital staff began filing back into the hospital and an influx of patients filtered in during the “normal business hours”.
His mind drifted to one of the very first nights he'd spent with Dr. Cox. It had been four years ago and J.D. being very naive had ventured over to the man's apartment. He couldn't recall exactly why now but knows it was because he wanted to get to know him better.
The atmosphere between them was electric, he remembered that. The way he scooted closer to him, the scent of his cologne. The smile on his face, the way he made him feel nervous and excited all at the same time.
He'd been devastated but also relieved when Dr. Cox's other friends showed up to the party. Now, however, he only felt regret in not making a move or taking the situation into his own hands. Still not sure if the man had been serious or were simply screwing with him, the what-ifs drove him mad.
J.D. opened his eyes to darkness punctured only by a slight glittering of light coming from the door to the hallway. He bit his lip and wondered where the older man was now. Probably catching a nap in the doctor's lounge.
His thoughts moved to Jordan then, the woman who had been by his side since the beginning. Their relationship wasn't the healthiest but he supposed that they did care about one another. They definitely cared for their son Jack and always made sure not to fight in front of or around him. That was definitely respectable.
He wished things were different. He wished so many things but wishing and hoping weren't going to give him the life he wanted. It was time he took matters into his own hands. Maybe he'd try going out, meeting a nice older guy who could remind him of Dr. Cox. That'd have to do for now. It'd have to.
His pager sounded breaking the peaceful silence of the room and he bolted up to check it. A code. So much for that nap.
...
Hours later and finally it was time for his shift to end. He could hardly contain his excitement as he rested against the nurse's station next to his best friend Turk and his wife Carla. His eyes began to close as he perched himself in a leaning position, his head beginning to bob.
Turk laughed and poked him. “You alright there, man?”
Carla watched bemusedly glancing up from paperwork every so often.
J.D. opened is eyes and straightened up. “Yeah, T-Dawg, I'm good. Don't you worry bout me. I'm awake.”
“Man, I hope I get that Patterson surgery today. You know, The Todd snatched the Millers from me just last week?”
Beginning to nod off again, J.D. slumped against the nurse's station once more causing Turk to have to try to catch him to prevent him from falling to the floor.
“Alright, J.D., why don't you go get some coffee or something?”
He nodded slurring a bit. “Probably good idea.”
Making his way down the hall he almost didn't see Dr. Cox coming the same way opposite him. Luckily the man stopped just before their eventual head on collision. “Watch where you're going, Newbie.”
J.D. startled himself to alertness taking in the annoyed expression on the older doctor's face. “Oh, Dr. Cox, I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired. About to head home.”
“Well, so am I, you don't see me crawling through the hospital like some kind of zombie.” he said as his cellphone began to ring.
Glancing at the caller ID he sighed in frustration jabbing the ignore button.
J.D. blinked at him. “You okay?”
“It's Jordan.” he shrugged as though that were enough of an explanation. When his protege continued his stare he continued, “She's at her mother's with Jack. For some reason she's under the impression that I am not “behaving the way a father should” or some such nonsense.”
Dr. Cox moved over to the coffee pot to grab himself a cup as J.D. studied his expression closer. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “Well, for one, she thinks I need to be going after a promotion here at the hospital. Never mind the fact that I've told her I believe I can do the most good directly with patient to patient relations.”
“Maybe you should tell her that.”
“I have.” he shrugged sipping out of the styrofoam cup. “It's not just that. I'm pretty sure the romance has gone out of the relationship. It's normal, really.”
J.D. sipped at his own cup of coffee letting the news sink in. “Well, it doesn't have to. There's lots of things you can try... in the... bedroom...” he mumbled realizing not quickly enough who he was talking to and that this was not a conversation he wanted to be having.
The look on the older man's face as he turned to face him was priceless. “Excuse me? Guess what, Delilah, when I want your nerdy, pasty sexual advice I'll ask for it, mmkay? Until then, keep it to yourself, you weirdo.”
With that he stormed off down the hallway leaving an embarrassed J.D. slumped up against the counter top.
Great... he thought.