Chapter Text
Every summer, the Potter lake house has been rented to a random family of vacationers. It’s been seven years since the owners have spent the summer here. And that’s fine with Regulus. Sirius was always leaving him out when he and their son would run off to swim or bike into town.
When a white car rolls up to the driveway between their properties, Regulus turns from where his legs are dangling off the shared dock.
Who will it be this year? Please just don’t let it be another family with tiny children running around again. He needs to focus this summer, perfecting the piano piece he just cannot seem to finish.
The front door of the car swings open, and out steps the most sickeningly handsome boy he’s ever seen.
Oh no.
With no other company to be seen and a car packed to the brim with suitcases and gear, James fucking Potter himself steps out into the dust. He runs a hand through those same thick waves of hair Regulus still remembers staring at when he was eleven years old. From a boy to a Greek God, James Potter stands there in the sun and Regulus' throat dries like the desert.
It would be far too awkward if James caught him staring, or ogling if he’s being honest. So Regulus whips his head back toward the water and stares down at his feet that dip below the gentle current. Is it weirder if James looks over and he’s just staring into the distance for too long? Why is it suddenly hard to breathe?
From the distance he hears his brother’s jovial voice screaming James’ name. He’s actually screaming, freely, like a child. Regulus can’t help it. He has to look.
He turns back around just in time to see his brother fully leap into James arms. He unconsciously rolls his eyes as he often does when Sirius displays his dramatic enthusiasm for life that everyone seems to find so endearing.
Regulus blames that exact enthusiasm for how he himself is freshly eighteen years old and almost painfully shy. Sirius always sucks all the air out of the room first, leaving nowhere for Regulus to maneuver. Always destined to be a step behind his older brother, watching as whoever he’s talking to falls in love with Sirius immediately and forgets Regulus is even there. He's sure this will be the same. Sirius and James, bonding and reconnecting. Him, standing to the side, watching it all unfold without being welcomed into the inner circle.
He finally takes his opportunity to study the grown man that’s replaced the small boy that drove away seven summers ago. It should be against the lake’s conduct policy for James to be allowed to wear a tank top that tight. Honestly, it’s lewd, the way it sticks to his frame and leaves nothing to the imagination about what could be underneath. The little red shorts are practically a crime. Where’s the rest of the material that should cover at least another few inches of his thighs? Fucking Christ, he’s far too tan.
Regulus huffs to himself, annoyed just looking at this idiotic, very muscled jock who’s going to ruin the peace he was planning for his last summer before college. He's always had a small grudge against jocks. None specifically, but as a whole, they've tended to make him feel small and shrink into himself.
Oh -
They’re staring at him. Sirius is waving. Beckoning him over. How long have they noticed him staring at them?
Well. It’s too late now.
As much as he considers, he can’t just throw himself in the water to escape with them looking at him like that. So he slowly pulls his legs up to the dock and flicks the water from himself. He focuses on walking casually, but casual is not really his nature. He can feel how straight his back is as he takes careful steps and stares at the ground so as to not trip on the way over.
An awkward sixty seconds of staring as his feet, and Regulus steps before the two of them and offers a crooked, forced smirk at James, nodding his head once. James has the audacity to lift his hand to muss with Regulus’ hair.
“Look who’s all grown-up!”
Jesus fucking Christ.
Regulus rolls his eyes as subtly as he can manage and lets them land on Sirius, a plea to release him from this horrible reintroduction.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming this year?” Sirius pats James on the shoulder with a loud slap. James looks back and forth between Regulus and Sirius with such brightness in his eyes that Regulus thinks he could get burned if he held his gaze too long.
“I didn’t really know I was coming until a week ago. Had my parents cancel on the family who was going to rent the place out. Really just needed the clean air. Some peace and quiet.”
Interesting, Regulus thinks as he tucks away the information that James has something going on in his life that caused him to make sudden changes to his summer plans.
“Plus, I don’t have any of your contact information. Didn’t have phones the last time we were here.”
“Right you are!” Sirius’ voice is always a touch too loud. Regulus has to physically resist flinching at the piercing tone.
He hands James his phone and as his arm moves into the space between them, Regulus' eyes fix on the veins on James’ hand as he punches in his phone number and hands the phone back to Sirius.
“Well I have to get out of here," Sirus says as he pockets his cell. "I’m already late for work. Got a gig at The Pearl. That cheesy lakeside restaurant if you can believe it. But I’m off at ten. I’ll text you!”
James smiles full of genuine gratitude as Sirius throws a wink at the two of them before jogging over to his bike. As he gets smaller down the dusty road, Regulus is suddenly hyper aware that the two of them are still standing very close, and with absolutely nothing to say.
“So…” James tries to fill the awkward silence. Of course he does. He’s always been chatty. He still seems the type. Cheerful. Social. Kind. Annoying.
Regulus’ throat feels stuck. There’s a cramp forming in the palm of his hand. He presses his other thumb into his palm and tries to massage it out and dispel the cramp and the sickening feeling rising in his chest.
“What’s there to do around here nowadays?”
Regulus finally looks James in the eyes with a gently furrowed brow. “Nothing.”
“Nothing? Really?”
“Just sit around, wait for night to fall so everyone can go get drunk at one location or another.”
James lets out a tiny laugh. “Sounds heavenly to me.”
Big surprise that that god awful plan sounds fun to someone like James. It’s probably how he spends every weekend, summer or not. “Of course it does," he says, mirroring his thoughts with as little spite in his voice as he can.
James must pick-up the light ridicule in his tone, because he tilts his head and raises his eyebrows with a smirk full of charm and intrigue. He doesn’t seem afraid to take a little ribbing. One point for the jock.
“And where will you be getting drunk tonight, Regulus?”
The sound of his full name on James Potter’s lips makes him burn with irritation. “Nowhere. I’ll be here. Have fun with Sirius.”
Regulus has no idea why he’s being so rude. James is just being friendly. He has nothing against him specially, besides that in general he makes it a point to stay away from athlete-types and boys who are willing to put so much time into their bodies rather than their minds. Perhaps the illusion of the James Potter he knew as a child shattering is grating on him. He wonders how he could have ever admired him so much, even back then.
“Well, another night then, maybe.” James hollers the words across the grass, because Regulus is already halfway back to his front door, not waiting around to further humiliate himself.
He lifts his arm and waves it vaguely in the air. A non-answer. Once he’s inside and safely behind the closed door, he stares at himself in the entry hall mirror. At his pale skin, and his dark gray eyes that sit under heavy dark eyebrows. How his hair is a tragic mess of curls, and how his black shirt swallows his entire torso and hangs off of him so loosely.
He could not be more opposite than the boy next door in every way.
He finds the book he’s discarded earlier and drops down onto the sofa. He gets through maybe ten pages before his eyes start to grow heavy and he lets the book rest open on his chest. Then he's closing his eyes, just for a second. A tiny sting from the sun starts to itch his pale skin as he drifts off.
When he opens his eyes again, the house is dim. The last of the gentle sunshine cascades through the opaque curtains. His head falls to the side to see the clock. It’s just past eight. Sirius still won’t be off for two hours.
Passing the family photos in the hall on his way to his bedroom, he strips off his shirt on the way and heads to the bathroom connected to his room to rinse off. He pulls himself into a long sleeve white shirt that fits just slightly better than his earlier shirt and messes with his hair a bit until it falls in an acceptable way. He’s not even sure why he’s putting himself together at all, considering he plans to stay locked in this house for the rest of the night.
Back in the living room, the book that had fallen off his chest as he slept stares back at him. He opens it, trying to restart where he left off, but his mind refuses to take in the words. He’s agitated. This is far from the calm serenity he was hoping to enjoy.
Fuck it.
In seconds the book is thrown aside, and his hand is reaching for the front door. He pauses briefly, looking through the open window to the left to see if any lights are on in the Potter’s house. Nothing. Perhaps James is already out wandering. Or asleep.
He steps onto the porch and rubs at the back of his neck. It’s so quiet. The only sound is the lapping of little waves against the dock and onto the grassy edge of the property.
He’s never been plagued by wanting to fill his time before. Summers were meant for spending nights in the lake house alone; reading, playing piano, transcribing music. Why is he suddenly so antsy?
He starts walking, destination unclear. When he reaches the edge of the house, the glint of his bike handle catches the corner of his eye. He walks over and dusts off the seat. The bike is pretty rarely used. Regulus and exerting unnecessary energy are not a match made in heaven. Still, he swings a leg over and starts to pedal down the road, heading into town to find some salvation from his disquieted mind.
As he reaches the border of the main street in town, barely big enough to be considered a city center, he hops off his bike and walks with it beside him. He realizes as he passes a few closed shops that he really has nowhere to go. No one to see. The only place he knows for sure he’ll know someone is the Pearl. The nautical themed, horrific restaurant that Sirius works at for extra play cash. He assesses it’s better than wandering aimlessly alone, and walks the full length of the five blocks till he reaches the restaurant off the lake’s edge.
The bell rings above as he opens the door, rudely announcing his entrance to the entire room. The place is packed. Unsurprising considering it’s one of only three places open this late. He feels terribly awkward and alone, with no one to sit with. No one to meet. This was a terrible idea.
He makes his way to the bar, despite not being old enough to sit there. Just as he is about to pull out a barstool, a loud vaguely familiar laugh sounds from the other side of the wall that divides the pool hall from the restaurant. As the laughing and cheering continues, he makes his way cautiously through the open frame into the much darker room to find none other than James Potter.
His back is turned toward Regulus as James faces the dart board. In a shocking turn of events, James already has a gaggle of people surrounding him, celebrating what must have been a bullseye throw. Regulus nearly turns away to duck back to the safe side of the restaurant before he’s caught.
“Regulus!”
Sirius’ boyfriend shouts from a small table aside the group surrounding James. Thank God. Remus Lupin is a welcome face in a place like this. He will never, ever, understand how Sirius managed to bag a partner as soft and gentle and genuinely cool as Remus. He’s smart, and thoughtful, and above all else he is quiet.
Remus waves him over, forcing Regulus to make his presence known to the entire room. He stuffs both of his hands into his jean pockets and wanders over, forever chasing that casual allure he can never quite catch. He hoists himself into the tall chair, blessedly grateful to have someone to talk to that doesn’t make him want to curl into a ball and die.
Remus pours an empty glass full of beer and slides it into Regulus’ hand.
“Um…are we allowed to be drinking here?”
Remus shrugs. “Sirius poured ‘em, if anything he’ll get in trouble not us.”
Regulus smirks at Remus throwing his brother under the bus for their benefit and clinks his glass to Remus’. They both take a long drink before more cheering catches their attention.
“Have you met the neighbor yet?” Regulus nods his head toward James.
Remus follows his eyeline to where James is laser-focused on his next dart throw.
“You mean the 2000s Abercrombie model? Oh yeah, we met.”
Regulus laughs a bit at the reference, because it’s just too goddamn accurate. He's about to dive into some of their history, but before Regulus can offer any more insight on the boy next door, James appears suddenly at the table, swooping up one of the half-full glasses of beer and chugging its contents. An awkward and immediate silence falls over Remus and Regulus as James’ eyes dart back and forth between them.
James clears his throat and sets the glass back down. “Did I just walk in on you two talking about me?”
Thankfully Remus jumps in to respond and saves Regulus the humiliation. “Just admiring your skills,” Remus says coyly. He’s not quite as breezy with casual conversation as Sirius, but he’s certainly miles better at it than Regulus.
“Happy to provide the entertainment.” James throws Regulus a quick wink at the comment. What a fucking ego. Regulus rolls his eyes a tiny bit, which doesn’t seem to deter James from wanting to join them.
He pulls up another chair, and makes himself comfortable.
“Sirius should be off soon, yeah? What’s next?”
Remus takes another sip of his beer. “Personally, I’d like this to be the last stop of the night. I’m beat. Just made the drive up this afternoon.”
James nods along, not looking too disappointed at the news. “Yeah, me too. Pretty exhausted. Had a bit of a week.”
Regulus wishes he didn’t care about what exactly caused James to have a hard week that he’s now mentioned twice today. But he silently hopes he’ll go on. Provide more information for his sudden appearance at the lake.
Before he can offer any more context to placate Regulus’ curious mind, Sirius descends upon the table, wrapping Remus up from behind and planting loud and showy kisses all over his cheek and neck.
Regulus watches James, trying to gauge his reaction to their very public displays of affection that make some people in the town turn their heads away or their noses up. But he just smiles. A genuine, true smile that shows nothing but absolute joy at witnessing the love between two people who found their person in this fucked up world.
Sirius’ eyes land on Regulus finally. “Didn’t expect to see you here baby brother.”
Regulus rolls his eyes at the comment. He knows it's a bad habit, but can he be blamed? “I go out.”
A mocking sound of disbelief falls from Sirius' mouth. “When is the last time you went out Reggie?”
Why must Sirius always make a show of his shyness? Regulus searches for something to say. Something that won’t embarrass him further, when James steps in for him.
“Well I’m glad you came tonight,” he says as the dimples in his cheeks start to show.
Regulus tries to smile. It’s a kind thing to say, reminiscent of how James used to defend him as children. But as Regulus presses his lips together, he’s sure the face he’s making looks more like suspicion than gratitude. People simply aren’t this nice. There has to be a catch.
Remus starts whispering in Sirius' ear, no doubt convincing him to take him home and not force him into a long night out. As always, what Remus says goes with Sirius. A gift to temper Sirius' unforgiving energy. Remus starts to stand, once again leaving Regulus wondering what to do next.
“You all want to ride home together?” Sirius throws an arm around Remus’ waist, waiting for a reply.
“Definitely,” James responds. Regulus just nods his head and follows the three of them out to where their bikes all remain leaning against the bike rails, unlocked as always.
When they make it back to the front of their shared property, they discard the bikes in the middle of the grass. Sirius makes goodbyes for both him and Remus so quickly that Regulus is sure they are running off to jump each other's bones after their two weeks apart. They’ll probably keep him up all night. Great.
Once again, he’s left with James. Standing both too close and somehow not close enough.
James looks suddenly awkward in the lowlight of the golden moon hanging above. He rubs at the back of his neck as if waiting for something.
“They seem like a great couple,” he finally says.
Regulus raises an eyebrow at the comment. “Yeah, they are. Remus is cool.”
“He is. So is Sirius.”
Regulus chuckles a little before stopping himself, never fully comfortable freely laughing around strangers. “Sure.”
“Well then…” James is staring at Regulus. At least Regulus thinks this is staring. He could just be looking. He could just be a nice person who likes making eye contact. “See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Maybe. I have some stuff I need to do.”
James smiles and nods as he slips a hand into his front pocket. “Night then, Regulus.”
“Night Potter.”
James pauses mid turn and goes back to his staring.
“I forgot you used to call me that.”
Regulus had nearly forgotten too. That he and Sirius both used to use James’ last name instead of his first. Regulus just shrugs, unsure of what else there is to say.
James looks lost in thought for just a moment before he finally starts to walk away. Once he’s made it inside the door and the porch light goes dark, Regulus realizes he hasn’t taken a full breath in nearly an hour. He pulls air into his lungs, relieving the quiet panic that was resting within.
What the hell is happening to him?