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It was so quiet in the room you could hear a pin drop. Compared to the heavy breathing that was heard from everyone minutes prior, it seamed like everyone was now holding their breath.
They had been practicing the choreography to one of the new songs they where given as part of their debut album, excitement clear on all their faces as the realization of their debut was getting closer, and closer. They had been going at it for no more than a couple of hours when a staff member walked in and had asked them to pause their practice. Assuming the staff was there to update them on scheduling, they paused the music and made their way towards the door where the staff was.
Watching as the trainees made their way over, the staff sighed, and that's when Hanbin noticed they had no clipboard or papers in their hands. He only stood there with confusion etched on his face and listened as the staff explained what was happening.
"I know everyone here is working on the debut album, but there has been a change of plans." They watched as the faces of the trainees shifted from excited to confused.
Leejeong paused from where he was closing his water bottle, and looked at the staff with a questioning stare, "What change of plans?"
The staff glanced around at each of the them, "You guys have heard of the upcoming survival show Boys Planet right?" The survival show had been brought up when it first aired that Wakeone would produce the group from it, so they had all heard of it in passing. Each of them responded in a form of yes while shooting each other confused stares, wondering why it was being brought up when they have already been put as a group.
"You're debut group is being scratched, and we're putting you on the show as trainees."
Oh. That's why.
Hanbin feels his knees buckle, and he barley catches himself before they give out. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Leejeong almost drop his water bottle, and Munjung's jaw basically hit the floor. A gasp is heard from behind him, and he turns to see Taerae holding onto Minseok in a death grip while the other covers his mouth with a hand. Hanbin quickly tries to gather himself enough to be able to reply to the staff, even though his brain is running a mile a minute on why? You told us no more survival shows, youcan'tdothistous-
A quick and quiet, "Thank you for letting us know." Is what he is able gets out before the staff turns and leaves without another word.
The silence is deafening, everyone frozen and holding their breath in shock. It's only broken when a quiet sob is heard and Hanbin looks around frantically to find the source of it, only to find Anthonny hiding his face in Haruto's shoulder as the other tries to calm him in whispered Japanese that Hanbin can't decipher. Min is standing close beside them, staring at the floor with a look of defeat that Hanbin can feel in his bones, but he pushes that away for now and walks over to engulf the older boy in a tight hug.
He can feel the other let out a heavy sigh and rests his head against his shoulder, not to hide, but just to find comfort in someone. Hanbin leans into the hug more, rubbing small circles on Min's back, and when the other pulls away, the small smile he has on tells him more than what has been said.
"Let's go back to the dorms, we can stay in my room tonight." He suggests to the group, the others slowly nodding in reply, "You can get whatever you need or want and bring it over, there's room for everyone."
As they silently start packing up their belongings, Hanbin lets his composure drop, and he can feel tears start welling up in his eyes without permission. They said we were a strong team, that we would be solidified together. What happened? He stay's crouched down against the wall, head buried between his knees as he thinks about how they got here, the endless hours, the evaluations from hell, how Munjung juggled going to school as well as practice, how Anthonny and Min are in Korean classes trying to keep up with the language. They all put so much into this, and for what? For Wakeone to scratch them months before their supposed debut? He sighs, not wanting to think about it anymore, and he looks up when he feels a hand on his shoulder.
Taerae gives him a small smile, "Your thinking too loudly. C'mon the others are already getting ready." He doesn't move away when he's done speaking, he simply waits as Hanbin pushes himself up and pull his bag with him. His smile grows slightly bigger as they start walking towards the dorms, and Hanbins does too when Taerae links their hands together on the way.
The dorm is an absolute disaster, but right now none of them really care.
There are blankets everywhere, and Hanbins more than certain they will end up making a blanket fort later, but right now everyone's decided that a sleepover is in order. Somewhere along the way Woonggi and Sungmin joined the party, stating that they are also going to be going to Boys Planet, and Hanbin immediately welcomed them to the designated meeting room. The two are tucked in the corner together, sharing at least 3 blankets between the two of them as they talk with Minseok about their application forms. Hanbin is currently leaning against the wall on his bed, Taerae curled against his side with a blanket wrapped around him and popcorn in his hands, passing some to Hanbin when he wants. Haruto (The one who decided to bring half the pantry to this party) had claimed Taerae's bed across from them the second he walked through the door, all while dragging Anthonny with him. The two have been passing out snacks and tissues alike, whispering back and forth to each other in both korean and Japanese.
Minseok had pulled Min with him when he claimed the upper bunk above Haruto and Anthonny, taking their own stack of blankets with them. Minseok is talking with Sungmin while Min looks through the application form with a puzzled expression, and Hanbin looks down at the one in his hand, still empty. The 2jung's decided to curl up next to Woonggi and Sungmin, Munjung having a macron pillow tucked under his chin and Leejeong resting his head on top of Munjungs. They've been going through the form together, but have been mindlessly dozing off while doing so.
"Do you guys think we will debut together on the show?" The silent tension is broken by Taerae speaking up from next to him, and he immediately wraps his arm around Taerae and pulls him closer.
"Why would you say such a thing?" He jokes, "Of course we'll debut together, all 10 of us would make a killer group." With encouraging agreements from the other 9, Taerae relaxes slightly at that, and he turns his attention toward the form on the bed, still blank like Hanbin's.
"Actually the debut group for Boys Planet is only 9 members. "Sungmin speaks up before downing the rest of the sour candy in his hand like it will revive his soul, to his credit Woonggi only looks slightly concerned.
Hanbin doesn't even hesitate before announcing, "We'll throw out Minseok."
"HEY!" Is heard from the top bunk before a pillow is thrown at Hanbin and he barely ducks out of the way before it hits the wall. After recovering (And shooting a harmless glare to a laughing Leejeong) he blows a kiss towards Minseok as an apology, receiving an eye roll in response. But there's a smile on his face, so Hanbin knows he didn't take it to heart.
A shuffle across from him has him looking over to Haruto, who after finishing his own stash of snacks, has successfully sniped a bag at Woonggi. Leaving the other to panic and throw his own candy all over himself, and a now very tired Sungmin. Before Woonggi can collect himself and retaliate (probably planning on using Sungmin's candy as ammo), Anthonny has pushed Haruto behind him and is trying to redirect the topic.
"Okay, we are not about to have a snack-sniping contest." He expresses, "Does anyone know who they're putting down as their role model?"
Munjung perks up from where he's falling asleep against Leejeong, "Oh yeah, I was going to put Hanbin."
That's our Junghyun, the nicest one out of us all. "Aw that's nice of you Junghyun-"
"But then I remembered he's not a great role model and decided not to." Never mind, he takes back anything good he's ever said about Junghyun.
"YAH YOU BRAT I'M A GREAT ROLE MODEL!"
He thinks about throwing a pillow at him, but everyone's laughing, and the stressful tension in the room is finally broken, so he decides to just pout and sink into his bed while complain to Taerae about how he's a great role model and Jungyun doesn't know what he's talking about.
Eventually, they all get through their application forms, after some major discussion about how no Woonggi you cannot send in a video of you twerking as the audition tape, some (well deserved) smacks from Sungmin, and one girl-group dance battle later, their all sitting under the blanket fort that they've made. The power of a blanket fort and a movie night is enough to override any bad news they were given today.
Even as Hanbin keeps thinking back to the moment he heard those words and the feelings of anger and sadness rise back to the surface, at least he knows they are going on the show together, their not being separated. So that's good enough for him to be able to fall asleep on top of Leejeong while Legally Blond the Musical plays in the background, and with the others who have passed out awhile ago. for a moment he feels bad for Sungmin, who's (Unfortunately)ended up at the bottom of this cuddle pile, but he doesn't think he'll mind that much. A survival show isn't something any of them wanted to go through ((or go through again) but at least they'll be together when they go through hell.
Scratch that, they won't be together. Why? Because Mnet has decided to pin the Korean trainees against the Global trainees. (A stupid decision if you ask him) And when they get their audition songs, he tries not to show his anger when they don't even get a choice in picking the song. (Really, what the fuck Mnet?)
Watching as Haruto, Anthonny, and Min get directed into a separate room, and Woonggi along with Sungmin say goodbye to them as they get put together for being in a debuted group already, Hanbin feels the reality of it set in. It's just the five of them now, the five of them, a song they didn't pick, and a lot of anger. They can make this work.
And they do. 'The Real' is a song they can all get into, and they each have a place in the song to show their own skill, so maybe it's not the worst thing to happen. Hanbin quickly takes in the role as leader, and they start charging towards the new opportunity with more determination.
Memorize, choreograph, vocalize, rap, break, repeat. Memorize, choreograph, vocalize, rap, break, repeat. They get into a routine: Wait until Munjung gets home back from school, practice until midnight, and if you want to stay later you can. But the rule they set for the 10 of them, get at least 4 hours of sleep. Period. As much as they want to spend all night practicing, sleep is important, and they don't want another Haruto incident. Once was enough.
Does Hanbin have a hard time sticking to that rule...no. Anyone else would say otherwise, because currently he's still in the practice room at 4am, running through the choreo for the millionth time, when he's supposed to be up in 3 hours to make sure Munjung gets to school on time. He does not have a problem! He's just....stressed. Stressed about the sudden survival show, stressed about having to learn an entire new song, and stressed because they've basically been thrown into a battle arena with nothing but wooden swords. Wakeone had been planning on debuting them for months, and all of that changed just because of some stupid survival show?
He sighs from where he's standing in the middle of the room. The song has ended, and now he's left alone in an empty practice room with only his thoughts to accompany him. Just like before, he can feel tears well up in his eyes without permission, but this time he lets them fall. He lets them fall and he lets himself sink to the floor while trying to muffle his sobs, because he doesn't want to wake the others. He doesn't know how long he sits there, knees tucked up to his chest and head buried in them, but the sound of footsteps drawing nearer has him scrambling to compose himself.
He expects to see a staff member coming in to tell him off for being up late, or maybe Sugmin who's known to be a night owl. He doesn't expect to see Anthonny in the doorway, wrapped up in a blanket so he looks like a burrito. Without his glasses, he's squinting to try to make out whoever is in the room, "Hanbin?"
The man in question sits up straight, and tries (And fails) to make it look like he wasn't just crying his heart out seconds prior. "Yeah it's me. Did the music wake you?"
There are a few seconds of silence before Anthonny walks over and drops down next to him, "No, I've actually been awake for a while. Just been staring at the ceiling and contemplating life choices. As one does." Even with his slightly broken Korean, Hanbin can tell he says that last bit in a joking voice, but he can see that maybe it's a little more than that.
"Anthonny is everything okay?"
Looking at the boy now, he can see that there are dark eye bags starting to form, and when Anthonny opens his blanket in silent welcome, Hanbin doesn't think twice before he curls up next to him. "I'm tired. And scared." He frowns, "I've been on a survival show before, and I was able to make the finals, but I ranked 18th. That feels like such a high accomplishment, and I don't feel like I could get any higher than that."
Hanbin knew about the other being in Produce 101, but to hear that he made it to the finals, and fell just short of debuting, Hanbin couldn't imagine the feeling. "Hey. You're going to do amazing. You're singing is awesome, you have a natural charm, and your very likable." He grabs the other's hand, "Just think that since you were able to get 18th before, your going to get a higher placement the second time. Don't stress about it too much."
Maybe it's not the best motivational speech, but a small smile appears on Anthonny's face, so he counts it as a win. "And what about you, hm? What are you doing in the practice room at 4am." Hanbin has to turn away with a shy smile, the other staring at him with a knowing look. Even if he hasn't known Hanbin for that long, anyone could see he's a perfectionist and loves to push himself. "You tell me to not stress about it too much, but you can't take your own advice? Talk to me, I'm all ears."
For a minute they just sit in silence, Anthonny waiting patiently as Hanbin tries to find the right words to describe the emotions he has going through his body. Anger, sadness, despair, excitement, all of them are rushing through his body at a lightning speed he doesn't think he'll be able to stop. "I think I'm scared, too." The other stays silent, encouraging him to continue. "But I'm also so mad at Wakeone for cutting our group out of the blue like that. And then I'm excited because I haven't been on a survival show and I want to see what it's like, and-" He pauses to take a breath, looking over to the younger. "It's all so much, and it happened so fast I can barely keep up."
Anthonny hums, smile still present on his face. "I think everything you just described can be grouped together as nervousness." Hanbin furrows his brows in slight confusion before the other continues. "You're nervous about the show because you've never experienced it before, and your anger at Wakeone is nervousness because you don't know what will happen after the show. You're simply nervous for the future and that's okay. I think everyone here is a bit scared for whatever's going to happen."
When Anthonny finishes his (Much better) speech, Hanbin can only stare. He's known Anthonny to be more quiet, since he's still learning the language and has some trouble holding long conversations, but this? He would never have expected this. "When did you get so good at speeches?" He has to learn his secrets.
The other simply laughs, "Haruto's surprisingly good at giving advice. And he helps me with my Korean so I'm getting better at it." Okay Hanbin might have to take a visit to therapist Haruto if this is the outcome. "And speaking of Haruto, it's time for you to get to bed. We don't want another Haruto situation, because I am not going to drag you to the dorms."
And Anthonny is right, checking the time now, it's 4:35am and Hanbin still has a morning schedule to follow. So he picks himself off the floor, and grabs what items he has with him before walking with Anthonny back to the dorms.
(And when he wakes up in the morning after sleeping in for over an hour, then panics and starts running around trying to get Munjung to school only to find him not in the building, Leejeong is the one to stop him.
"Hanbin, he's already at school, everything's fine." He has to physically grab hold of Hanbin's shoulders to get him to stop panicking, and when those words finally register in his brain he stops and stares at Leejeong.
"How did he get to school? I usually drive him. Also why didn't my alarms go off?" He says that last part while taking out his phone and checking that he did set alarms-
"Sungmin turned them off after you fell asleep." Leejeong cuts his thoughts short, "Anthonny told him that you were up late and needed the extra rest, so he made sure to shut them off before turning in."
Dammit Anthonny I love and hate you right now. "Wait, how did he unlock my phone? No one knows my password."
Knowing that Hanbin won't be running around and shouting at someone who's not even in the building anymore, Leejeong lets his arms fall back to his sides. "I wouldn't question it. Sungmin has his own scary ways of taking care of us, even if he claims not to care." And if Hanbin becomes slightly more scared of Sungmin after that, he doesn't need to know.)
They are actually here. Holy shit they are actually here.
Hanbin is barely able to keep his nerves under control while standing back in the K group waiting space. They just watched Haruto, Anthonny, and Min perform, and after seeing Haruto get All Star it feels like a sudden expectation has been thrown on his shoulders. The five of them have practiced the song well over 100 times, but now that he's here, and they're just about to perform in front of the Star Masters, he doesn't feel ready.
He's snapped out of his thoughts by the staff calling out to them to enter, and he can hear the Junghyuns do their 'Leejeong, Munjung, cross!' behind him, and he has a feeling they'll be okay.
Walking onto the stage feels like a fever dream, and Hanbin has to try really hard to compose himself while before the Star masters. They had seen what it's like looking down on the stage from the seats above, but now being down here and looking up at everyone, he can understand why some of the other trainees were nervous before, his knees feel like jelly standing here.
When the Star masters start asking questions, and they get to the big one, 'What makes Wakeone K-group different from Wakeone G-group?' Hanbin decides it doesn't hurt to show some confidence, yeah?
Leejeong stutters out the beginning of a response when Hanbin cuts in, "Nothing we can't do!" and he's immediately supported by Munjung with an additional "We can do anything."
The response from the other trainees are surprise and anticipation, and he can feel himself getting excited to show everyone what they've been working on. He shoots a quick look to Anthonny and Haruto, who are sitting in one of the front rows and gives them a smile, confident, but not cocky. He was raised right.
As they get into the starting position, Hanbin feels his nerves relax, and can feel the excitement take full control. When the flute signals the song to start, and he hears the trainees react to the song choice, he lost all worries about the performance, and is ready to just have fun.
"How you feelin' out there!"
He can see the smiles from the Star Masters, and the cheers from other trainees only fuel his power.
"WAKEONE PRESENT!"
The adrenaline is finally subsiding when they re-enter backstage, all smiles and left over energy. Before they get called away or start filming again, Hanbin immediately makes a beeline to Minseok, pulling the other into a near bone-crushing hug.
"I'm sorry we couldn't get you more than 2 stars. I still believe you deserve more than that." He truly does believe that, Minseok did just as good as the rest of them, maybe even better in some aspects, and Hanbin is a bit disappointed when they announced him as a 2 star.
Minseok returns the hug with just as much strength behind it, "Nah, it's okay. Just means there's room to grow." He then suddenly tightens his hold on Hanbin before lifting him up and spinning them both around. "What about you though, you got All Star! That's incredible!" And even though He's a little dizzy when he gets set back on the ground, Hanbin still gives him a big smile.
He barely gets any time to recover before someone is barreling into him from behind, and he nearly falls forward by the sheer power of the hug. "Yeah you did amazing!" Ah, it's Taerae. "It was outstanding, I can't wait to go back and watch the performance!" When Hanbin finally gets released and is able to turn around, he finds that Taerae, along with 2jung, have taken off the excess stars and are left with 3.
He knows they're more upset than they show, but he knows at the least it will simply fuel their fire to work harder.
Whenever they make their way back out to their seats, they're bombarded with hugs and praises from the other Wakeonez, and from a few other trainees, too. Woonggi all but crashes into Munjung when he gets in hugging distance, and while Sungmin rolls his eyes, he does go around and give them light hugs and praises, too.
"AHHH MY BABY DID SO WELL! YOU'VE GROWN UP SO FAST!" Woonggi's tackle- sorry hug, does end up knocking both him and Munjung off their feet and into a chair behind them. Hanbin's never been more thankful that Munjungs quick on his feet and manages to grab hold of the chair so they don't end up hitting the floor. "YOU DID SO AMAZING- and everyone else did too- BUT OUR MAKNAE IS GROWN UP NOW!"
Maybe he'll let Munjung off the hook this time because when Woonggi starts to actually tear up, he wastes no time in pushing him off himself and clear onto the floor. Honestly, Hanbin would have done the same, so he'll let Munjung get away with this one.
When they're called to return to seats for filming to start again, he feels confident in how their first impression went. For all the Wakeones, actually. Yeah Woonggi and Sungmin got lower stars, but they assured him that it only made them more determined to impress the Star masters when they get the first chance, so he's rest assured. He knows they'll all do well in the upcoming tests.
"You know, when I said 'We'll throw out Minseok' I didn't mean literally."
The first eliminations were rough, for everyone, but he didn't think he'd be losing one- scratch that, 2 members of his team. He's currently face to face with Minseok, while Min is being comforted by, and comforting Anthonny. The Japanese had originally been the one comforting Min as soon as the cameras were cut, but soon enough the realization hit that Min was leaving, and he buried his face in Min's shoulder while the other assured him he would be okay.
It hurts to see Minseok so calm about his elimination, too. Even though 'Burn it up' K-group had won, no one from either team made it through the elimination, while his team was the only one where everyone made it through. He silently curses at Star Creators for not seeing Minseok's talent, but he knows that even if they had done something different as they're Star level test song, or maybe Minseok picked a different battle song, he still wouldn't have made it through.
That's just the nature of a survival show. As fucked up and as stupid as it is, he knows that's how they go. And he wishes this had turned out differently, god he hates the fact that all he can do is stand here and have Minseok hug him as the tears slip down his face, but he knows Minseok will continue cheering for them, even if it's through a screen.
"Ah I wish you could have stayed." Anthonny still hasn't moved from where his head is resting on Min's shoulder, but the other doesn't seem to mind, so he doesn't plan on moving anytime soon.
Min responds by tightening his arms around the younger, and drawing small shapes on his back. "Yeah, I wish I could've stayed, too. But you did, you made it and you're going to do amazing in the next round." Anthonny can feel fresh tears start to fall even though he wills them not to. "I'll be cheering for you. Me and Minseok will watch you all from back at the dorms. Maybe we'll get banners and throw them up everywhere."
Even if it's a goodbye, the time they spent together on Boys Planet will never be forgotten. The star level test, the disastrous dorm rooms, the absolutely chaotic dance battle, all of it will forever be part of them, and when Anthonny finally lifts his head up, he's greeted with a smile, and he knows Min will be okay.
Whenever Taerae takes over Hanbin's place and throws himself at Minseok, Hanbin takes his leave to go congratulate the others who made it, and say goodbye to those who have fallen (That's a very dramatic inner dialogue Hanbin pull yourself together). As he passes by the 'Love me right' gathering, he vaguely catches sight of Haruto holding onto Haru for dear life, saying something along the lines of "Who will challenge me to street dancing battles anymore?", and getting a teary laugh in response. He knows Haruto viewed the other as a younger brother, and he hopes they stay in contact after the show, because he would pay good money to see them both do a show together.
Making his way to where his own team gathered, Hanbin immediately throws his arms around Jihoo and lifts him up. "You all made it! Our entire team!" The boy in his arms lets out a small scream before it turns into a laugh, and he registers the others doing the same.
At first when the team was picked, he was a bit nervous about them. He knew Doha would struggle keeping up with them, but he actually did pretty well in practice and on stage. Considering Hanbin had turned into a so-called 'Drill Sargeant' during practice, everyone on the team had picked up the dance quicker than he thought. The shock of having his entire team make it through eliminations is still running high in his system, but he's the proudest he's ever been.
Somewhere else in the room, Leejeong is holding Munjung in a bone-crushing hug, smiling widely and cheering for his best friend. "See I told you you would make it!" He had heard of the struggles the other was having during practice, and the harsh criticism he was getting, so when the other was called at rank 23 he was ecstatic. "The Star Creators love you, and you did so good! I'm so proud of you!"
Munjung had accepted the hug with no restrain, and he hugged back just as tightly. "Ah thank you, I'm happy they liked me. You did amazing too! 39th isn't bad, you will only go up from there!"
To say Leejeong was happy about his rank would be a lie. He's overjoyed that he made it past the first eliminations, but he wishes he could've done better. Just work a bit harder so he could've been a higher rank, but that just means he'll put his all into the next round. "Yep, maybe next time I'll be a higher rank than you."
The other only laughed at that, and pulled away to get a look at Leejeong with a challenging look on his face. "You can certainly try."
29th. He was one spot away, twenty-fucking-ninth.
He can't even be mad about it, not when it's Hiroto who got 28th, hell he probably deserves it more than anyone, but he can't help but be a little mad. How can Star Creators overlook Munjung's talent? How can they watch the 'GGANG' performance and not vote for everybody on that team? He can barely listen to Munjung's speech, not when he can see Taerae silently crying, not when he can hear Leejeong hold back sobs he knows will come out later, and not when he feels his own start to fall.
Munjung isn't the only one they lost either, whenever they had called 'Rap and Vocal' to get results, he was so sure that Anthonny would be ranked up high. He wasn't the only one who was caught off guard when they announced that there were no survivors aside from 28th and the top 9, Haruto practically fell apart right there, having to watch his best friend accept the fact that he didn't make it again.
He himself almost fell apart, watching as 'Limousine' all looked at each other with sadness, yet acceptance (with Krystian having the biggest smile that Hanbin has ever seen on his face), and watching Jihoo, who he had mentored on 'Hot Sauce' and basically become a younger brother to him, accept that he didn't perform good enough to reach the Star Creators. Which is such bullshit because they did fucking amazing.
When he was called at rank 13, while he was over the moon about it, he couldn't help but shoot a look of desperation towards Sungmin, hoping he will join him on the survivor's side shortly. And just to make the day better, he had to sit and watch as Sungmin was denied the second chance he deserves slip away from him. They were all amazing trainees, and only 5 of them made it past the second elimination? Hanbin was furious.
It's only when he catches Munjung's "Don't cry!" that he really can't hold back the tears as they fall full force, and he hears Taerae lose his battle as well. Munjung is their youngest, their maknae, but most importantly their younger brother, he takes care of them just as much as they do him. He's still a high schooler, juggling the endless training they do to become the idols he so desperately dreams of becoming, and while he's smiling during his speech, he has a feeling a blanket fort will be made later on.
"Yah hyungs I told you not to cry!" They didn't even wait until the cameras stopped filming before tackling the eliminated Wakeonez in suffocating hugs. Woonggi throwing himself at Sungmin, the other catching him with a sad smile, Haruto basically bulldozing Anthonny and the younger barely being able to steady them before they fall over, and Munjung being crushed in between the three of them. It was something Hanbin never would have thought he would have to do, he never thought he'd have to let go of Minseok, but having to let go of Munjung? It never crossed his mind.
"How do you expect us not to cry when we're going to have to watch you leave?" Leejeong tightens his hold further, holding onto his other half like if he let go the other would disappear, and Hanbin guesses that is what's happening. "You were supposed to join us. You were supposed to make it through."
Their youngest only sinks into their hugs further, trying to embrace these moments together. "Well, we don't leave until morning. Do you all want to stay in mine and Jeongie's room tonight?" He should know by now that he didn't need to ask.
That's how they ended up here, all 8 of them curled up together under the blanket fort they've created. Somehow Sungmin had been able to get hold of one of the iPads, and managed to pull up Netflix, because now they have MeanGirls playing in the background while they all hold onto the three as if their life depends on it. And in some way it does, they had started this journey as 10, all determined to debut together, but now they are losing more of them because people aren't seeing their true talent.
Even if the tears have dried up, he knows there will be more tomorrow, Leejeong won't let go of Munjung unless he gets ripped away, and Haruto seems pretty set on sneaking Anthonny into the dorms one way or another. He only knows Sungmin will leave peacefully because he and Woonggi have already been through this process, even if it was more heart wrenching than this. He mentally curses Wakeone again for replacing the two of them in TO1 with others, no one could fill their shoes like they do. No one.
As the night grows late, and as they start slipping into sleep one by one, Hanbin takes a look around at his teammates, how they all have each other even if they are not face to face, how they always support one another no matter what they do, and he has a feeling they'll be alright.
("Are you ready for the next mission?"
Jeonghyeon sighs, laying on his new bed after saying goodbye to his other half. "I have to be. I have to make Munjung proud.")
This cannot be happening. This cannot be fucking happening.
How did all of 'SuperCharger' get eliminated? HOW?! They put their all into that performance. Blood, sweat, tears, heart, soul, everything, and none of them made it through. Not for the first, or the last time, Hanbin curses the Star Creators.
Five of them made it through to the 3rd round, and now 2 of them are being eliminated, how does this keep happening? Are they cursed? Hanbin's on the verge of tears again, having to watch as Zihao gives his 19th place speech, how did all of them, not even Zihao make it through? He has nothing against Kamden ranking 18th, he deserves that just as much as anyone, but he can barely watch this anymore. Watching more of his team - his family, get eliminated each round makes his heart shatter a little more every time, and now it's only 3.
Taerae, sitting comfortably in 7th, the only one of them to ever break the top 9, himself at 11th, and Jeonghyeon scraping by at 17th, the final Wakeonez.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
They have once again all gathered in one room, after (gently) kicking out Ollie and Takuto, who have gone to be comforted by their own family friends, 'SuperCharger' being the 'Host' of tonights going away party. No one tries to hold back tears this time, simply letting them fall as they watch Haruto and Woonggi go around and pack their bags. They've already told him numerous times to stop apologizing, but he can't help but feel like it's his fault they got eliminated.
Haruto stops from where he's stuffing clothes into his suitcase, "Park Hanbin, you did not cause our elimination. You didn't cause any of our eliminations, if anything we caused them ourselves, not shining bright enough on stage I guess."
Hanbin turns to glare at Haruto, he's never heard such stupid words in his life. "Haruto, you and Woonggi both shined more than ever on that stage. You guys were thrown into a song that only two of you willingly chose, and you still managed to produce one of the best stages I've ever seen." He doesn't exactly know when his distaste towards the Star Creators started, but he knows he doesn't like them right now. "If anything the the Star Creators are the ones to blame." He mumbles, mainly towards himself.
Taerae, picking up on what he had said, sighs before responding. "I blame Mnet more than Star Creators." Oh yeah, fucking Mnet. "We've seen the kind of editing they do, they use our most vulnerable moments against us, and they turn us into some kind of evil humans when really we're all just stressed from what they put us through."
He sighs defeated, because he knows Taerae is right. Even if the Star Creators vote for them, they don't know what Mnet does with the votes, if they rig them or not. Hell, for all they know Mnet could be getting rid of half of their votes, just because they can. He doesn't get much further into his Mnet hatred train, because Woonggi has finished packing and drops down next to him to grag him into a hug.
"Even if we didn't make it to the finals with you three, I'm still very proud of what we accomplished. I'm proud of what I accomplished." He lets out an authentic laugh, light and airy. Unlike earlier that week, when they were all stressed beyond their limits. "The three performances I gave to the Star Creators were some of my favorite moments of my entire life, and I wouldn't have been able to make it here if it wasn't for you all encouraging me to work through the hard parts. So thank you. Thank you for being part of this journey with me."
If anyone wasn't crying before, they sure are now. Before he knows it, everyone had jumped up and joined the hug, even Jeonghyeon ended up curled around them all. For a while only the sound of muffled sobs are heard, and the quiet reassurances of "We'll be okay, and we'll make sure to stand in the front row with the others at the final." which only made Hanbin cry harder, but knows they will stay true to their words.
"I'll miss you guys, but give your everything in that final round okay?" Haruto speaks up from where he's buried under Taerae. "I know you'll make us proud."
And when they finally have to say goodbye to the two of them the next morning, they only have one new goal in mind for the finale. Make our family proud.
Oh he's panicking. He's panicking a lot right now.
Why was the Star Master so slow with the results? Just let them out already! He can hardly feel the ground beneath him as he tries his best to keep smiling for the cameras, knees shaking. 7th and 8th place have already been called, and so far none of them have made it. God he's panicking so much. What if none of them make it? What if none of the 10 Wakone trainees make it? They'll have to go back to the dorms knowing that Zerobaseone will be walking around in the studio's with them, and knowing that Wakeone will be looking at them like 'Why didn't any of our own make it into this group?' He doesn't think he'll be able to handle that.
"The trainee that has placed 6th will now be announced."
Please let it be one of them, please let it be one of them. Copying the En Garde and GGANG team rituals, Hanbin starts silently chanting, hoping one of them will make it. One of them please.
"Kim Taerae!"
Habin nearly collapses in joy when he hears Taerae's name be called, and he joins the rest of the top 18 in squeezing the man between their hugs. He watches as Taerae makes his way to the base of the Top 9 podium, and he can't even try to keep the smile off his face when Taerae gives his speech. After his speech, and after he's seated in his 6th place seat respectably, Hanbin starts chanting again, "Lee Jeonghyeon, Park Hanbin. Lee Jeonghyeon, Park Hanbin."
"5th place..... Park Gunwook!"
Okay, that's okay, there's still 5 more seats up there, there's a chance. He continues chanting.
"4th place..... Ricky!"
Alright, okay that's fine, everything's okay. He closes his eyes and drops his head, hoping that by some miracle he or Jeonghyeon could have jumped up over 8 rankings.
"3rd place..... Seok Matthew!"
Oh. That's when he starts losing hope, there's no shot that he or Jeonghyeon could overthrow Sung Hanbin and Zhanhao of all people. Don't worry, there's still 9th place, and as much as he wants Jeonghyeon and him to be in the same group, he hopes it's his name that's called. He stops chanting.
"1st place.....Zhanghao!"
Oh shit Zhanghao beat Sung Hanbin. He beat Sung Hanbin, and he's the first Chinese trainee to ever win a Mnet survival show. Despite the internal battle he's going through at that moment, he still manages to put a smile on his face, it's not forced either, hell he's overjoyed that Zhanghao broke the Chinese trainee curse. As the commotion dies down, the tense atmosphere is back, back to suffocating him and making it feel like he can't breathe.
He needs to be the final member.
"The final member, 9th place trainee is..."
He looks over to where the other Wakeonez have gathered, in the front row, just like they said, and they all give him supportive smiles. Minseok and Min, who were eliminated far to early, Anthonny, Sungmin, and Munjung, not given the chance to show all their talent, and Wonnggi and Haruto, who were eliminated so close yet so far to the finale. He loves them all, and he knows they love him too, so he has to debut. He has to succeed.
"Han Yujin!"
He failed.
The after celebration is a blur, people come and go, hugs are thrown everywhere, and even the mentors come up to congratulate and console them. He doesn't care about that, he cares about the fact that he failed his team. He failed his family.
He can barely hear over the screaming from the audience as Seunghwan yells out to him, "Park Hanbin you did amazing!"
Did he? Or did he do just enough to get him here and nothing further?"
"Park Hanbin you did amazing!"
He could've pushed a little harder, practiced a little longer.
"PARK HANBIN YOU DID AMAZING!"
The sound of his 8 family members yelling out his name catch him before he spirals down the self discrimination path, and when he looks back at his family, he doesn't see disappointment, all he sees are proud faces, supporting cheers, and love. All he can see is love radiating off of each of them, it almost causes him to break.
He doesn't hear the person walk up behind him, but when they set a hand on his shoulder and turn him around themself, he's met with Jeonghyeon, a soft smile displayed on his face. "We did good hyung, you can rest now."
That's all Hanbin needed before he lets go of holding back, and he nearly falls as he throws himself into Jeonghyeon's open arms, which don't waste any time in wrapping around him and holding on tight. He lets go of whatever had been holding him back from crying, and he just lets all his emotions out. Hatred, sadness, loneliness, disappointment, anger, relief.
He can rest now, it's finally over. This stupid fucking survival show is over, and he can rest. All his pent up stress and anger morphs into relief as his mind registers the fact that this is all over, no he didn't debut, nor did 8 of the other Wakeonez, but they put themselves out there, and now they have people who support them. People who voted for them, people who encouraged them, people who stuck by them throughout the entire show. And they chose to stick with them. They could have easily gone to one of the more popular trainees, but they chose to stick with this group of 10 boys who are just chasing a dream that's just slightly too far out of reach.
As he slowly lets out his emotions, with Jeonghyeon staying with him the whole time, he figures out that he doesn't have any regrets.
He doesn't regret leading the 'Hot Sauce' team, even if they didn't have the strongest team out there, he doesn't regret a single thing about that performance. He doesn't regret picking 'Law', he basically adopted Yujin during that time, hell they went to Mcountdown together, he regrets nothing from that team. Ah 'Switch', even if he only had 2 options, he would pick 'Switch' every time. Getting to perform with new people, and learning how to communicate with Shuaibo even if they couldn't speak the same language is something he'll never forget. No regrets there. And 'Jellypop'....nothing will ever beat that performance. Everything about it was amazing, his teammates, the dance, the vocals, rap, all of it was amazing. It will forever be his favorite stage, zero regrets.
Finally pulling away from Jeonghyeon to look him in the eye, he knows the other has zero regrets as well. "We did do good."
They eventually get through everybody so they could hug Taerae, the only Waeone to debut. It will be strange not having him around, without his vocals waking them up every morning, and no one singing ballads before bed, it will be different, but he knows Taerae will be off doing amazing things with the rest of Zerobaseone. "You did so well! You definitely deserve this."
It's only then when Taerae's blinding smile falters, "You guys deserved to debut as well." This time it's him who initiates the hug, barreling into Hanbin and holding tight. "I'm going to miss all of you so much."
He can hear Jeonghyeon laugh beside him before he joins the hug. "We'll miss you more Taeraevision. Just make sure to send us updates on what you guys are doing. We'll do the same for you."
"Of course I'll send updates!" He cheers, "I'll be blowing up your phones so much you'll be annoyed by me!
Taerae could never annoy them, and he makes sure to tell the other that. With great resistance, they eventually pull apart, and Taerae is swept away by the staff, and the two of them are left following the crowd of trainees and mentors backstage. They go hand-in-hand, never leaving each others side.
It's only when things have finally calmed down and when they're able to go meet the other trainees that they let go, even if it's only to catch a flying Munjung and Woonggi.
"I'm so proud of you guys!" Leejeong is thankfully quick enough to catch Munjung as he jumps into his best friends arms, Hanbin quickly doing the same as Woonggi (once again) throws himself at him. "I don't care that you didn't debut, it just means we'll be together when we do."
When that time is, none of them know. But they'll continue to work hard and chase that dream. Taerae will forever be part of their family, and they will support him from afar, but they will forever be the OT10 Wakeonez. "We should do our cheer, guys." Hanbin suggests.
"Here?" Sungmin asks, questionable about still being around others.
"Yes we should!" Well when Munjung is saying it, who's to deny him anything.
They all gather in a circle, even if they're missing one, they will always be together "1, 2, 3..."
'WAKEONE PRESENT!" He has a feeling they'll be okay.
It's strange being back at the dorms, it's more quiet, and there's less commotion.
Readjusting to being back takes awhile, and it wasn't uncommon to find one of them up at the crack of dawn for no reason other than habit. It's only when Min announces that he will be leaving that things start to change.
He had said that it was a long time coming, and Boys Planet only delayed the inevitable, but he was ready to move on with his journey. Wakeone had been a great opportunity, and he didn't regret any of his time there, but he needed a new start. So he packed his bags, said final, teary goodbyes, and left to start a new chapter of his life.
Then Minseok left.
Having one of them gone was already hard, having one more empty bed in the dorms, but now they're adding a third to that list. Watching Minseok leave was hard. The younger was as close to a brother as he could get, and it was like part of his heart was leaving with him. Minseok had promised to keep fighting for his dream, and made sure he had everyones contact so they could keep in touch, before he too, turned away and left.
Now there was seven. Scratch that, six.
Haruto, the best dancer among them all Haruto, was cutting his contract.
Oh it killed him, it killed him to watch Haruto leave. The other was so close, so so close to them all that it almost physically hurt to let him go. He was the only one Hanbin cried for when he left, but he understood why. Wakeone was his first company, and while it helped him to get on his feet and point him in the right direction, it wouldn't take him where his potential could lead him. With Haruto's talent, he'll be going big, Hanbin just knows it, and he knows that even though the other is going to college, there's no chance he will stop hunting down his dream. Of course, he didn't say he was a good multitasker for nothing.
He won't be surprised if he sees Haruto's face on billboards one day, and he hopes to be invited to one of his concerts in the future, but for now, he'll settle with weekly calls and updates from him, as the other leaves, and begins the next big challenge in his life.
Now there were six.
Hanbin will be the first to say that no one really knows what Woonggi and Sungmin plan on doing. As far as he knows, they're staying at Wakeone, but they've been let loose a little, and have their own Instagram accounts, when usually trainees aren't allowed personal ones. He's not sure what the future holds for those two, but he knows it will be something good, so he only hopes the best for them.
Anthonny has said that he wants to take some time off, and Hanbin can't blame him at all for that. The younger had stated that he was wanting to visit back home many times at the dorms, and he's happy that there's a chance for him to do that. They don't know when he will be back, or what he plans on doing, but their happy he's able to go home for a bit. While Korea might be his home as a trainee, Japan will be where his family waits as their son navigates the world of being a trainee.
Finally, there were three.
Leejeong, Munjung, and Hanbin. Three brothers, one company, and one dream.
They took their time getting used to being back outside of Boys Planet, with Munjung going back to school, and having Zerobaseone now being the top priority has left them with a lot of downtime. Now Hanbin knows not to push his luck, but he does decide to push the topic of a trainee account on Instagram and Tiktok, just so they could still be active with their fans! And eventually, Wakeone caves, and now they have something to promote themselves with.
They do eventally get back into that old routine; wake up, get Munjung to school, go to their separate training classes of the day, LUNCH BREAK, combined free choreographing time until Munjung gets back home, make sure he gets through all his classes and homework, then they have all the time they want on social media. And they make good use of it.
The constant dance trends and challenges give them something to look forward to, and it's a way for them to update the people who support them. Not to mention the InstaLives, they've only done two and the reaction is increadible.
Of course, even with their busy schedules, they find time to go out and wander the city wherever their feet decide to take them. Because in the end they are still young, and they deserve to be young. Make those stupid videos, buy matching keychains, prank each other, just make sure they're living while surviving. They meet amazing fans along the way, and even though he didn't debut, he couldn't ask to be anywhere else then right here.
"Hanbin."
"Hm, yeah?" He turns around to where Leejeong is lying against the corner of the couch with an arm slung over Munjung who's sleeping against him. He instantly smiles at how they are all so comfortable with each other, and at how much they trust each other.
Leejeong raises his head, "Is it bad to say I'm happy neither of us debuted?" And Hanbin can't help but laugh at that, because he feels the same way. If he had debuted with ZB1, he would have missed all of this, and he wouldn't trade them for the world.
"No, I'm happy we didn't debut, too."
Yeah, they'll be just fine.