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It was supposed to be a nice outing, a fun way to spend their last night in Crocus before they were to head back in the morning.
And it was, for the most part, anyway.
Sting had recommended a bar in the middle of town with good vibes and even better drinks, and Lucy was more than willing to see off their trip with a few more cocktails than she could handle. Natsu had been happy to tag along, as he always was, not exactly keen to spend the evening alone at the inn.
The two had quickly come to the conclusion that Sting had in fact been justified in his praises, with a shot of fire whiskey that had a delicious burn going down and a fruity little cocktail that Lucy was certain she could get sloshed on without even noticing.
It seemed as though everyone else in Crocus had had the same idea that night, with every seat in the establishment occupied and chatter filling the air.
The bartender slid over a plate of fries Natsu had ordered earlier, and Lucy wasted no time in helping herself to some.
"Hey, those are mine," Natsu scolded, but didn’t make any attempt to stop her nonetheless.
Lucy merely flashed him a coy smile and continued to steal off of his plate. If it were anyone else, he would have stopped her in her tracks, by force if he had to, but Lucy was already well aware that she held a coveted position at the top of the list of people Natsu was willing to share his food with, and she was going to take advantage of that.
"You want one?"
He didn’t reply; only opened his mouth up for her to share with him. Picking up his cue, she tossed one into his mouth, which he caught with no issue before chomping down on it and flashing Lucy a wide grin as she giggled along to his antics.
Natsu’s hand moved to the basket, picking up another chip or two, which she simply assumed were to feed himself, only to be pleasantly surprised when he held them out for her.
"Open up."
Lucy promptly did as she was told, and Natsu responded in turn by flicking them into her mouth, though her catch wasn’t as successful as his as it dropped down into her lap, where she looked down at it with a pout on her face.
Flagging down the bartender, Lucy ordered one, two, three more of those delectable cocktails. The drunken flush was quick to take hold on Lucy, who was already feeling the alcohol that she certainly couldn’t taste. It hadn’t hit her too hard yet, but she certainly felt slightly wobbly, something that was made evident by her poor aim the next time she tried to toss a fry at Natsu, sending it right over his shoulder where it hit the man sitting next to him, who was none the wiser as the duo burst into a fit of giggles together.
When a lull in the conversation hit, Lucy shuffled uncomfortably in her seat slightly, glancing around the bar until she finally located the restroom.
"I have to pee," she told him, holding onto his shoulder for balance as she hopped off the stool.
He nodded in understanding before she tottered off to the bathroom, pushing her way through the crowd. She was prompt and quick with it, keen to get back to Natsu so she could continue to order them shots until she got so hammered that he had to carry her back to the inn.
Lucy could have sworn she had been gone no more than five minutes before she returned to find her seat taken by another girl who was currently engaged in a more-than-friendly conversation with her partner.
Natsu could talk to whoever he wanted to; she had no control or say over his autonomy; he didn’t "belong" to her. It didn’t matter how many people mistook them for a couple, Natsu was still very much an eligible bachelor, and without Lucy by his side, he certainly looked the part. Lucy knew that, but that didn’t stop the horrible sinking feeling in her stomach as she watched this woman practically drool all over Natsu.
Her actions held no subtlety to them; even Natsu, as oblivious as he was, knew what was going on; she was certain of it. She swooned over how big and strong he was, and he was more than accepting of her praises, willing to indulge her with stories of his epic adventures as she gasped in awe as he recounted tales that Lucy already knew because she was there when they happened. She laughed when he spoke, an overexaggerated giggle covered by one hand as the other bashfully brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, laughing at something Lucy was certain wasn’t all that funny.
It wasn’t the flirting or giggling that got under her skin, though; it was the touches. It was the way she’d lightly bat his arm as she laughed at his tales, the way her hand came to rest on his thigh as she leant forwards, no doubt relishing in the comforting heat his body emanated as her fingertips trailed up, up, up his thigh. Natsu shifted slightly but otherwise didn’t stop her, and suddenly Lucy felt like she was going to vomit.
Every part of her brain was telling her to look away, save herself the pain, and pretend she hadn’t noticed, but the scene was like a train wreck that she couldn’t tear her eyes away from.
Natsu had never shown interest in women before, or at least, she hadn’t thought he had, but maybe it was because he’d never been given the chance to. The women at the guild were his family, it would be weird for them to show an interest in them, and his time spent outside the guild left him little time for socialising. Perhaps Lucy’s assumption had been one made with insufficient evidence because now, watching him indulge a random flirt at a bar, she was questioning everything she thought she knew about him.
She was so used to his undivided attention, to being the one attached to his hip, to being the only girl Natsu was willing to even give the time of day to, that suddenly seeing him with another woman made her suddenly feel... inadequate. Almost as if her place in her life had been taken along with that stupid barstool she had been sitting in just a moment prior—that she had been replaced.
That was a stupid thought. There was no way that Natsu finding himself a woman was going to change the relationship they had. Sure, he might have less time for her, and they probably couldn’t go out for dinner together like they always did, and he couldn’t spend the night in bed with her anymore, and he wouldn’t hold her hand or spontaneously put his arms around her, or tuck her head beneath his chin when he held her.
But she could live without those things.
Maybe.
So why did the thought of losing that make her want to cry in the middle of this bar?
She was just drunk; that was it. She couldn’t think straight. She was just confusing all of these feelings she had for Natsu with love.
Because there’s no way she was in love with Natsu.
Right?
Lucy didn’t want him to go home with that girl, or anyone else for that matter.
Just her.
The mere thought of it made her skin crawl. It wasn’t like she expected Natsu to bed some random stranger, but the thought of it wouldn’t leave her head, and it just felt so… gross.
Perhaps it was the alcohol flowing through her veins—the dose of liquid courage—that, in her jealous frenzy, compelled her to do something she would never have done otherwise.
She licked her lips slightly to replace the glossy sheen that had been lost on the rim of her glass throughout the night and mustered her best doe-eyed look before finally approaching Natsu. Her hand gently grazed his arm, capturing his attention before it ran down his bicep and down to his hand, her fingertips brushing against the back of it. Perhaps if she had let herself order just one more cocktail, she might have mustered the courage to intertwine his fingers with hers, but she was already pushing her luck with her cutesy showing; if she had done that, he would have known for sure something was up.
"Natsu?" She pouted, "Can you take me home now, please?"
"Everything okay?" He asked, brows furrowed in concern.
"I‘m just tired," she answered, not wanting to elaborate any further on why she needed to cut their outing short.
He gave her an unconvinced look, confused by her sudden change in demeanour, but didn’t choose to press her any further.
"Alright," he conceded.
Lucy tried her best to hold back the sigh of relief trying to pass through her lips now that her plan had succeeded. She’d never done something quite so… manipulative before, if you could even call it that. Regardless of whether it was or wasn’t, doing so still planted a seed of guilt in her stomach, ready to grow into something bigger and more sinister. She didn’t like the feeling, but there was no going back now. She couldn’t simply apologise to the girl, give her Natsu back to her, and pretend that it was all a big misunderstanding. She was in too deep now, the seed sewn within her consciousness.
Before that seed could sprout, however, it was quickly kicked through the dirt at the feeling of Natsu’s arm thrown around her shoulder, pulling her comfortably into his side, just like he always did.
"Oh."
The soft voice came from the very girl seated where Lucy had once been. She could see the realisation in her eyes as she watched her ease into the space between Natsu’s arm and torso, fitting so comfortably in there as if it were a spot made for her.
"I didn’t know you had a girlfriend."
There came the eternal line, the obvious assumption that everyone else seemed to make. The one thing that Lucy would scramble to correct every time she heard it.
But she didn’t this time.
Seemingly following her lead, neither did Natsu.
Tonight, she would let herself fill that role.
The side of her head nestled comfortably against Natsu’s chest, arms wrapped around his torso as they walked, their steps in tandem even as she clung to his side. The night air was cool against her skin, but Natsu’s unusually high body heat kept her warm as she clung to his side. Lucy was simply content to continue on as they were the rest of the way to the inn, to enjoy his company, and to not bring up what had just happened.
Ever.
The silence was never uncomfortable between them; they were both happy to enjoy each other's company without the burden of banter, and tonight was no exception. Lucy fully expected the quiet to follow them home, where they would exchange sleepy goodnights before heading off to rest for the night. That expectation was quickly dashed when she finally heard Natsu speak up for the first time since they left the bar.
"What’s wrong?"
Moving her gaze from the path in front of them, Lucy looked up at him and saw a look of concern painted across his face.
"What? No, nothing’s wrong," she tried to reassure. "Why would anything be wrong?"
"Because you’re trembling," he pointed out. "And you haven’t let go of me since we left."
Her breath got caught in her throat as she realised that he had realised something was up. She didn’t even notice she was shaking until he pointed it out to her.
"Did something happen while you were in the bathroom?" He asked, concern growing in his voice and becoming evident on his face. "Do you need me to go back there and kick someone’s ass?"
"Like I said, I’m just tired," Lucy repeated, guilt returning to gnaw on her consciousness as she saw just how much worry she had caused him.
It wasn’t technically a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth either. It’s not like she could tell him what was really on her mind. What would she even say?
Seeing you talk to that girl made me so sick that if I didn’t get both of us out of there immediately, I was going to throw up or do something stupid. Maybe both.
He probably wouldn’t even believe her anyway. Lucy wasn’t a vindictive person; she would never hurt a hair on someone’s head without good reason, and being a little jealous over the way she touched him hardly constituted a good reason. It wasn’t like her to get jealous, either. She had everything she wanted in life, so much to be grateful for, she didn’t have the right to be jealous, so why was she feeling this way?
Because Natsu was the best thing she had ever had.
That was why.
Because in her stupid will to keep things the way they were, she’d convinced herself that what she was feeling towards him wasn’t love and that these feelings would pass. But she didn’t want to keep things the way they were, did she? Seeing someone else have the courage to take the step that Lucy was too afraid to take was the wake-up call she needed. If she wasn’t going to take what she wanted, then someone else would.
They’d stopped walking, their feet instead planted on the sidewalk, lit only by the moonlight and a nearby flickering streetlamp. Natsu was looking down at her, clearly unconvinced by her weak excuse and concerned by her silence, as she seemed lost deep within the trenches of thought.
Her gaze rose to meet his, and she was met with a reminder of how pretty his eyes were, even as they were clouded with worry over her. His hair, wild as it was, framed his face perfectly, making him look so pretty in the gentle moonlight, even as he looked down at her in concern. It was deceptively soft—she was well aware of that from hours spent tangling her fingers through it on long train rides. His lips looked so soft, like they would feel perfect against hers, and she wished in this moment they weren’t curved into a frown so she could catch a glimpse of that smile of his that made her melt every. single. time. Oh, he was so handsome that it made her heart ache.
Natsu was everything she could ever want wrapped up in a perfect little package, and in her fear of losing that, she had inadvertently nearly done exactly that. If she wanted to keep him for real, she needed to let him know exactly what she wanted.
With the vodka still lingering in her system, just enough to override any hesitancy she may have felt otherwise, Lucy grabbed his face and she kissed him.
She kissed him like his body was the air she breathed, like his lips were the one thing keeping her tethered to this mortal plane. His hands came to rest on her waist to hold them both steady as her thumbs brushed against his cheeks, revelling in the feeling of his skin against hers.
Lucy was nothing short of breathless when they parted, her lips merely inches away from his, tempting her to take them again, hands still resting on his cheeks.
"Wh-" His eyes were glazed over slightly, and his breath caught in his throat as he tried to piece together what had just happened. "What’s going on, Lucy? What was that for?"
It wasn’t until she heard his voice that she came crashing down from her high, and she suddenly realised the gravity and consequences of what she had just done.
Yeah, Lucy. What the hell was that for?
She opened her mouth, but the words got caught in her throat, and she couldn’t do anything but stare helplessly at him. It wasn’t that she had nothing to say; it was more the fact that she had too much to say that her brain simply couldn’t settle on what the right words were.
"I- I-"
Normally Lucy prided herself on always being able to read Natsu, knowing him better than anyone else did, but right now his expression was inscrutable, and that only made her panic more. There was nothing she could say to undo whatever damage had been done; their relationship was now going to be irreparably defined by the time she had too much to drink and kissed him like her life depended on it.
If she could just move on without having to explain herself, she would. They’d never speak of this night again, and her little shame would live only in their minds, but Natsu was looking down at her expectantly, waiting for some sort of answer or explanation. His gaze was inescapable, and all she could do was crack under the pressure of it.
"I want to be your girlfriend!" She finally sputtered out. "And- and I know that’s weird because you’re my best friend and I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you, but I do."
"Lucy."
His voice only vaguely registered in her brain as she continued to ramble, paying little mind to the fact that he was trying to get her attention.
"I know it’s weird and selfish of me because what we have right now is so good, and that doesn’t have to change. I just needed you to know how I feel."
"Lucy."
Hearing him say her name like that stopped her thought spiral in their tracks.
"What?"
"You already are my girlfriend."
Now it was her time to be confused.
Her jaw fell open as if trying to mouth out the words that her brain could not muster, and instead of responding, all she could do was stand and gape at him like an idiot.
"Wh- what?" Was her brilliant reaction. "Since when?"
"Uh, since about fifteen minutes ago when that girl at the bar called you my girlfriend and you didn’t say no," Natsu shrugged.
He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Like it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard in her entire life.
"You think that constitutes us being in a relationship?" Lucy cried. "That is the craziest thing I have ever heard in my entire life! You can’t just assume things like that, Natsu!"
"Well, I was right, wasn’t I?" He said, completely matter-of-factly, ignoring any logic that might have come from her words. "You just said you wanna be my girlfriend."
Maybe it was just the alcohol, but this whole thing just seemed so absurd.
"You do want to be my girlfriend, right?" He clarified. "You’re not just saying that because you’re drunk?"
"I’m not drunk," she replied. "Only a little bit…"
Before she had time to process what was happening, Natsu’s hands were on her waist, pulling her close to him so they stood chest to chest. When she looked up at him, he was beaming down at her, and in that moment, she realised that all of her worries were for nothing.
"‘Cause I like being your boyfriend," he grinned, a look of pride plastered on his face despite the short period since their initial misunderstanding. "But I don’t wanna just be your boyfriend when you’re drunk."
"I don’t want you to just be my boyfriend when I’m drunk either," she murmured, fully aware of how close they were, feeling his breath against her nose, and feeling that wonderful temptation to close the space between them again.
Using all of her willpower, she held back her desire to taste his lips once more. As much as she wanted to drag her hands through his hair, feel his palm against the small of her back, holding her close as they kissed beneath the gaze of the moon, there was a much more important conversation at hand.
Because Natsu wanted to be her boyfriend.
If she had known that, maybe she would have kissed him earlier.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" She inquired, her voice soft, quiet, almost hesitant.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" Natsu shot back.
"Because I didn’t think you were interested," she sighed, bringing her hands up to rest on his forearms. "I just thought that you kind of… didn’t care about this kind of stuff."
"Why’d you change your mind?" He asked, head cocked to the side in curiosity.
Her eyes darted away from his for a moment as shame suddenly filled her. She had sobered up slightly since they left the bar—not entirely so, but enough to be embarrassed by what had prompted her sudden kiss and confession.
Was she really about to admit this to him? That she was jealous of some… random?
In hindsight, she knew she shouldn’t have been worried. She was always going to be Natsu’s number one, but in the moment, she felt so threatened that she didn’t know what to do with herself. From the moment they stepped out of that place, Lucy had sworn that she would take those feelings to the grave, but not even an hour later, she was beginning to crack under Natsu’s questioning gaze.
He deserved to know, didn’t he?
Sucking in a breath, she began to confess.
"Seeing that girl flirting with you at the bar made me feel… I don’t know… like that should have been me."
Natsu blinked at her, dumbfounded.
"What?"
"The girl at the bar!" Lucy repeated, exasperated by his seeming lack of understanding. "She was cozying up with you, and you weren’t turning her away, and it made me feel…" She paused for a moment, considering the word she was about to use, experimenting with the feeling of it on her tongue, before she finally caved in. "Jealous."
"She wasn’t flirting with me," Natsu frowned, looking completely unconvinced by her words.
Surely, surely, he wasn’t that dumb. She couldn’t have been more obvious about it! Anyone else could see it from a mile away, but here Natsu was, just thinking she was being overtly friendly with him.
"Yes, she was," Lucy retorted. "She was touching your arm and laughing at all your jokes and doing that thing girls do where they tuck their hair behind their ear."
"But you do that to me all the time."
She could practically see the gears turning in his brain the moment those words left his lips.
"Oh."
"Yeah," she breathed.
At the very least, she knew that losing him to another woman wasn’t something she’d ever have to worry about.
"Well, I like it better when you flirt with me," he grinned, finally having put the pieces together, and Lucy felt her insides turn to mush.
Her arms snaked around his torso, and she rested her head on his chest. He eagerly reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close, nuzzling his nose into the crown of her head.
It wasn’t fair that he could hardly realise when someone was flirting but could so easily turn her legs into jelly with cheesy little lines like that. Not that she could mind too much. All she could bring herself to care about was that after months of hopeless pining, she was finally nestled away in Natsu’s heart.
"Heh, my Lucy was jealous~" He immediately began to tease. "I’m so tellin’ Happy when we get back."
Lucy could immediately feel her face turn red in embarrassment as she realised that she was never going to live this one down for as long as she lived, and suddenly she almost began to regret letting him in on her feelings.
"You will not!" She whined, lips sticking out in a pout, with a less-than-intimidating frown on her face as she looked up at him.
Her scare tactics clearly didn’t work on him, as he just chortled in response.
She should have known better than to think his teasing remarks would end as they stepped into a new stage in their relationship. If anything, it would only get worse from here. She supposed that was simply the consequence of being his Lucy.
