"Alright, let's try this one more time" | Interdimensional Movie Night Redux

by Nastya_M_Steel

Summary:

Peter Parker has been... coping. Mostly. He stopped the multiverse from breaking into pieces, and that's what counts, right?
... Turns out the multiverse isn't done with Peter Parker yet. Not by a long shot.

(Gwen just thought that anyone who's mere existence had Miguel groaning in annoyance would be a worthwhile ally. This hadn't... quite been her intentions.)

(Peter B. Parker just has to keep reminding himself that adopting a version of himself probably wouldn't work, legally speaking.)

Notes:

• Inspired by Interdimensional Movie Night by Nastya_M_Steel

Welcome to the reboot of Interdimensional Movie Night! This version is uh. Not gonna be as light-hearted as the first one. Oops. (What can I say, current canon is. Very sad.)

PLEASE DON'T SUE ME; I'M JUST COPY-PASTING THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE SCRIPTS.

Chapter 1: Dear Diary (nobody could have prepared me for this)

Dear Diary,

I uh. Bought you because writing your feelings down is supposed to help. I have... a lot of emotions, all the time, so I guess I should give this a shot at least?

Feels weird to do this without, like, introducing myself or anything, though. So here goes:

My name is Peter Benjamin Parker. I'm 17 years old, although my ID says I'm 20, and I work as a photographer for a newspaper called the Daily Bugle. My job is to take pictures of Spider-Man, a vigilante that has been working out of Queens for 3 years. 8, if you count the Blip. I... don't have any family. Or friends.

Legally, I don't even  exist . That one was... a really, really stupid mistake on my part.

When I was 14, I got bitten by a radioactive spider on a field trip. When I was 16, I Blipped. When I came back, I took a field trip to Europe and got framed for murder.

... and a few months ago, I nearly broke the universe trying to make people forget my secret identity as Spider-Man. I... managed to stop it. And now, nobody knows who I am. Not even my girlfriend. The girl who used to be my girlfriend, anyway.

I made a lot of stupid mistakes. I like to think I've learned from them, though.

I'm just... trying to keep my head low while doing what I can. It's even mostly worked out, recently!

... I'll write again later, I guess.

- Peter

---

Peter shouldered the door to his apartment closed - his hands were currently a bit full with a stack of three pizza boxes - carefully regulating his strength so he didn't accidentally break something. Again.

"... well, another successful da-" His spider-sense blared, causing him to drop the pizza boxes as he hopped straight onto the ceiling -

Peter caught eye of what was causing his sixth sense to go insane.

There was a portal on his living room ceiling. It looked strangely like someone had tried to animate a portal out of psychedelic newspaper cut-outs.

Nononono, please don't be the Multiverse breaking again, please don't be the Multiverse breaking again, I didn't even do anything -

An old man and a teenage girl fell from the ceiling, shortly followed by a small toddler with wild red hair.

... uh, what?

"Peter why did you let Mayday touch the goober," the girl groan from where her head was half-buried in his shitty couch.

And, wait. Was she wearing some kind of... white and black Spider-Man suit?

Oh God, this was the Multiverse again, wasn't it -

"I don't 'let' her do anything," the man in the fluffy pink dressing gown (Peter? Probably another Peter Parker, please don't be) muttered as he sat up.

The toddler was the one who noticed Peter first. "Baba!" She babbled, pointing at the 17-year-old.

"What is it, swee -" the man turned. His eyes met Peter's.

Spider sense filled the room to bursting.

"... Well, we found the guy," the man blinked the disorienting sensation away.

"What do you mean, we -" The girl dug her head out of the couch. Her eyes found Peter's. "... ah. This is awkward."

"Please don't tell me the multiverse is breaking because of me again," Peter pleaded.

"... well," the man coughed into his fist. "It's definitely not your fault-"

"It's not really anyone's fault," the girl cut in vehemently. "... but it is breaking. And... we could use your help."

Not again...

"Well - I can try," Peter hedged carefully. "But, uh, I might need some more details...?"

 

That was when the DVD bounced off the coffee table.

Four pairs of eyes shot to look at it immediately.

"... you didn't send that, right?" Peter asked carefully.

"Nope. And from the looks of it, neither did Hobie or Miguel..." the girl answered. Not that Peter had any idea who she was talking about, but from the way she'd pronounced 'Miguel', that person was bad news.

The man in the dressing gown reached over to pick up the DVD. "... Uh, Gwen? You might wanna look at this."

 

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

Chapter 2: Press Play (welcome to the show)

Notes:

I'm so excited to write this story. Really hope I actually do it proper justice this go around...

"So, just to recap," Junior (a nickname Peter had somewhat reluctantly accepted - Gwen was a year younger than him! But fine) took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're looking for your friend Miles, who's been deemed a 'multiversal anomaly' for things that weren't his fault but did almost cause the Multiverse to collapse roughly a year and a half ago. He's being hunted by members of a multidimensional Spider Society, so you're assembling your own team to try and help him. And anything else is probably gonna get explained in this movie, which none of you knew existed or where it could have come from."

"That about sums it up, yeah," Peter-B nodded, though most of his focus seemed to be on playing keep-away with his toddler and the mysterious DVD.

(Which. An alternate version of him that had an entire daughter. Yep.)

(Peter refused to touch on the fact that his three impromptu guests were animated. Just. No. There were only so many questions he could ask before his brain melted.)

"So we're gonna watch the DVD from nowhere," Junior asked, mostly rhetorically.

"Since that's what it takes to convince you," Gwen nodded. She was... weirdly intense about this whole thing, for reasons that both of the multiversal spiders were very tight-lipped over. Peter (Junior) didn't like it.

He sighed. "... I'm gonna see if I can't salvage the pizzas I dropped, you guys set up the movie."

"Oh, sweet, you have pizza!" Peter-B lit up.

 

---

 

Gwen Stacy was not okay with this. (She wasn't okay with a lot of things that had been happening, though, so this was really just another entry in a long, long list she'd mentally dubbed Why Is My Life Like This?)

Sitting on a couch with two Peter Parkers and a toddler to watch a movie about herself? Sure, why not.

WE BEGIN ON A COMIC.

The cover asks WHO IS SPIDER-MAN?

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): Alright, let’s do this one last time. My name is Peter Parker.

QUICK CUTS of a BLOND PETER PARKER Pulling down his mask...a name tag that reads “Peter Parker”...various shots of Spider-Man IN ACTION.

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): I was bitten by a radioactive spider and for ten years I’ve been the one and only Spider-Man. I’m pretty sure you know the rest.

"So... who's this guy?" Junior asked, now a bit confused. "I mean, he's a Peter, duh, but he doesn't sound like Peter-B or the ones I met..."

"You've met other Spider-People before?" Gwen startled.

"... I don't really want to talk about it."

UNCLE BEN talks to Peter.

UNCLE BEN (V.O.): With great power comes great responsibility. (All three Spiders flinched in unison.)

Uncle Ben walks into the beyond.

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): I saved a bunch of people, fell in love, saved the city, and then I saved the city again and again and again...

Spiderman saves the city, kisses MJ, saves the city some more. The shots evoke ICONIC SPIDER-MAN IMAGES, but each one is subtly different, somehow altered.

"... wait, who was the red-head?"

"You haven't met your MJ yet?" Peter-B asked, shocked.

Junior recontextualized several things in the span of about three seconds. "... I have. Mine just looks... different."

"Huh."

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): And uh... I did this.

Cut to Spider-Man dancing on the street, exactly like in the movie Spider-Man 3.

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): We don’t really talk about this.

A THREE PANEL SPLIT SCREEN: shots of Spider-Man’s “products”:

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): Look, I’m a comic book, I’m a cereal, did a Christmas album. I have an excellent theme song.

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.) (CONT'D): And a so-so popsicle. I mean, I’ve looked worse.

MATCH CUT -- Peter, PINNED to a WALL by a mechanical tentacle arm. KINGPIN punches Peter. GREEN GOBLIN fights Peter.

"Holy-" Junior nearly fell of the couch at the sudden jump-cuts. "Who are those people - I mean, the tentacles are probably Octavius, but the rest-?!"

"Kingpin and Green Goblin, guess you haven't met them yet," Peter-B answered nonchalantly.

"No on the Kingpin, but I'm sorry that's Green Goblin?!"

"Oh, you must've had one of the variants that's just a dude on a fucked up glider," Gwen nodded in understanding.

"Hey, no swearing in front of Mayday!"

"Oh - sorry."

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): But after everything, I still love being Spider-Man. I mean, who wouldn’t? (Junior resisted the urge to raise his hand.)

Peter runs toward a SUPER-COLLIDER, something we’ll see quite soon. Peter SLAMMED TO THE GROUND.

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): So no matter how many hits I take, I always find a way to come back.

Peter GETS UP... in a shot that we will also remember, RIGHT BEFORE GOBLIN GRABS HIM.

The collider EXPLODING, the force of the blast rippling through New York. (Junior: "... that doesn't look good.")

SPIDER-MAN (V.O.): Because the only thing standing between this city and oblivion is me. There’s only one Spider-Man. And you’re looking at him.

Spider-Man WINKS. Man, he’s cool.

The three Spider-Heroes looked at each other and tried not to giggle hysterically.

Mayday had no such compunctions and laughed. (Not that she knew what she was laughing about, really, but her Papa had a funny look on his face, and that was reason enough for her.)

INT. MILES’ APARTMENT - BEDROOM

MILES MORALES draws HOME-MADE STREET ART NAME-TAGS at a desk, headphones on, singing along to a song he’s too young for (”Sunflower”), but he doesn’t quite know the words yet.

Junior watched in slightly dumbfounded amazement as his guests' faces dried of humor faster than a candle died in a tsunami.

... I'm guessing that's Miles.

A PHOTO of a YOUNGER MILES with his PARENTS and his UNCLE AARON visible in the background--

RIO (O.S.): Miles! Miles, time for school!

JEFFERSON (O.S.): --Miles! Miles! MILES!

--Miles WHIPS OFF his headphones--

MILES: Yeah?!--

JEFFERSON (O.S.): Are you finished packing for school?

MILES: Yeah! Just ironing my last shirt!

Reveal his EMPTY BAG. He is NOT PACKED. He’s been AVOIDING IT. (Gwen snorted despite herself.)

RIO: ¡Vamo chacho!

--He FLIES around the room, tossing VARIOUS ITEMS into the suitcase, throwing on a BLUE UNIFORM JACKET, the camera catching other childhood details--

JEFFERSON (O.S.): C’mon, you a grown man now! Let show these teachers that. Let’s go!

RIO (O.S.): --Miles!

INT. MILES’ APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM

BAM! The door flies open. FAST-PACED, Miles enters the living room, where his parents get ready for the day.

MILES: Where’s my laptop?

RIO: ¿Donde le dejaste?

MILES: ¡Yo no se!

JEFFERSON: --If you want me to drive you we gotta go now--

MILES (edging away): --No Dad, I’ll walk!--   JEFFERSON (CONT'D): Personal chauffeur going once- -

MILES (continuing): --It’s ok--

RIO: Ay Maria, este nene me tiene loca!

Miles grabs food. Mom and dad frantically cross behind him.

RIO (CONT’D) (impatient): Miles, gotta go!!

MILES (chewing): In a minute!

RIO (sing-song): Gotta Go-ohh...

MILES: IN A MINUTE--

EXT. STOOP - MORNING

Rio SMOTHERS an embarrassed Miles with kisses. Miles rolls his eyes, hates it/loves it.

MILES: Mom. I gotta go...

RIO (kissing him): In a minute...

Miles rolls his bag down the steps as Rio calls out:

RIO (CONT’D): Papá! Llamame! See you Friday!

MILES: Okay, mami. Hasta luego!

Gwen and Junior both watched the scene unfold with matching expressions of longing.

Peter-B, not for the first time, resisted the urge to curse the multiverse for making endless amounts of teenagers go through horrible horrible trauma. Repeatedly. (No swearing in front of the baby, Peter.)

 

INT. BROOKLYN STREET - MORNING

Miles struggles down the street with the heavy bag, but he’s in his element. He walks by his old school, BROOKLYN MIDDLE - passes some OLD FRIENDS, who he loves and misses.

OLD FRIEND 1: Ohhhhh. Look who’s back! Yo what’s going on, bro?--

MILES: --Hey, I’m just walking by, how you doing?--

OLD FRIEND 2: --Miles! ¿Te va bien en la escuela?-

MILES: --Seguro que si--

OLD FRIEND 3: Yo, Miles did you feel that earthquake last night?

MILES: What are you talking about? I slept like a baby last night.

OLD FRIEND 5: How’s that new school?   MILES (CONT'D): --So easy!--

OLD FRIEND 5: We miss you, Miles!

MILES: You miss me? I still live here! ...Wait, you miss me?

Gwen wondered if he'd kept in contact with those kids. (Tried not to think too much about how much she missed Miles.)

(Badly enough to get pulled into Miguel O'Hara's web, that's how much.)

TIME CUT: Miles RUNS DOWN THE STREET, SLAPS his HOMEMADE STICKERS on some things, ends by SLAPPING a STOP SIGN, making a LOUD CLANG--

--but he trips on his shoelaces and falls into the street--

MILES (CONT’D): ¡Contra!

--POLICE LIGHTS FLASH along with the signature BWOOP BWOOP.

MILES (CONT’D) (knows what’s coming): Ah c’mon...

EXT. BROOKLYN - MORNING

The POLICE CAR moves through the neighborhood. Miles is in the back seat. 1010 WINS plays.

MILES: Seriously, Dad, walking would have been fine.

Reveal Jefferson driving. Miles' dad is a COP!

Junior made a surprised noise. Something about the way Miles acted... he hadn't expected his dad to be on the force.

Gwen and Peter-B just exchanged heavy looks, one a bit guiltier than the other. (Because for Peter-B, this was... years ago. Decades, almost, and he'd gotten over it. For these two? These weren't just friends they'd made over work. These were their dads. How could he ever have thought that these two losing their fathers would just be... okay? That he could just let it happen? Watch from Miguel's ivory tower as a teenager's life was destroyed before their very eyes?)

JEFFERSON: You can walk plenty on Saturday when you peel those stickers off.

MILES: You saw that? I don’t know if that was me, Dad.

JEFFERSON: And the two from yesterday on Clinton.

MILES: Yeah. Those were me.

Jefferson stares, shuts down the cheekiness. Miles looks hurt. Jefferson clocks his pained look. It bums Jefferson out. There’s an awkwardness between Miles and his dad that's not there with his mom.

The second-hand embarrassed kind of made Junior want to die a little bit. It's kinda like me and Happy, a bit, huh.

How we used to be, at least, before all this -

He forced himself to stop thinking about it.

They drive by a row of HIPSTER COFFEE SHOPS. Jefferson tries to bridge the gap with Miles, more cheerful:

JEFFERSON: Soooo... look at that, another new coffee shop... you see that Miles?

MILES: Totally, yeah...   JEFFERSON: --You see that one, what’s that one called?

MILES: Foam Party.   JEFFERSON: Foam Party, come on...and everyone is just lining up! You see that, Miles--

MILES (CONT'D): I see it--   JEFFERSON: Is that a coffee shop or a disco?

MILES: Dad, you’re old, man.

NEWS ANCHOR (ON RADIO): There are multiple reports of another mysterious seismic event last night. Sources close to Spider-Man say he is looking into the problem.

Jefferson shakes his head, disapproving, turns off the radio.

JEFFERSON: Spider-Man. I mean this guy swings in once a day zip-zap-zop in his little mask and answers to no one, right?

MILES: Yeah, Dad...

JEFFERSON: And meanwhile my guys are out there, lives on the line--   MILES (CONT'D): Uh huh...

SCHOOL KIDS run alongside the car looking at Miles, who slinks down. They bang on the window, teasing Miles, “ you get arrested ?!”

JEFFERSON: --no masks, we show our faces. Accountability.   MILES (CONT'D): --Oh no! Dad, speed up, I know these kids--

JEFFERSON: --You know, with great ability comes great accountability--

MILES: That’s not even how the saying goes, Dad--

(That's something Tony would have said, wouldn't he...)

JEFFERSON: --I do like his cereal though, I’ll give him that--

Jeff stops the car. The teens reach Miles’ window.

TEEN BOY: Yo Miles! You get arrested?

MILES (mortified): --Oh my gosh. Don’t cops run red lights?

JEFFERSON: Some do... but not your Dad!

EXT. NEW YORK - MORNING

The car drives up right under the Brooklyn Bridge, to a school overlooking MANHATTAN, which LOOMS across the water.

MILES: Why can’t I go back to Brooklyn Middle?

JEFFERSON (raises his eyebrows): Miles, you’ve given it two weeks. We’re not having this conversation.

MILES: --I just think that this new school is elitist--

JEFFERSON: --Elitist?--

MILES: --and I would prefer to be at a normal school among the people.

JEFFERSON: The people? These are your people!

MILES: --I'm only here ‘cause I won that stupid lottery--

JEFFERSON: No way. You passed the entry test just like everybody else, ok! You have an opportunity here, you wanna blow that, huh? You want to end up like your Uncle?

MILES (under his breath): --What’s wrong with Uncle Aaron? He’s a good guy--

--Jefferson FLINCHES, angered. Reins it in.

JEFFERSON: ...We all make choices in life--

MILES: --It doesn't feel like I have a choice right now--

JEFFERSON: --YOU DON’T!

Mayday frowned at the sudden shout, hiding her face in her dad's shoulder.

Peter-B glared at the screen as he comforted his daughter. "Shh, Mayday, it's alright, it's just a video..."

Tension fills the car. They sit in silence for a beat. Miles gets out of the car and opens the front door to get his bag. Jefferson staring through his rearview mirror--

JEFFERSON (CONT’D): I love you, Miles.

MILES: Yeah, I know, Dad. See you Friday--

--Miles shuts the door and walks away. Jefferson watches, bummed at the state of the relationship. He lifts his P.A.

JEFFERSON (INTO P.A.): You gotta say I love you back. (Junior: "Oh my god, why.")

MILES: Dad are you serious?   JEFFERSON (CONT'D): I wanna hear it.

MILES: You wanna hear me say it--   JEFFERSON (CONT'D): --I love you, Dad.

MILES. --You’re dropping me off at a school--   JEFFERSON (CONT'D): --I love you Dad.

MILES: Look at this place--   JEFFERSON (CONT'D): --Dad, I love you.

MILES: Dad, I love you.

JEFFERSON (INTO P.A.): That’s a copy. Tie your shoes, please! (Junior, dread: "They're gonna make fun of him for weeks.")

INT. VISIONS ACADEMY

- MORNING PAN UP from UNTIED SHOES -- Miles clocks them but defiantly DOES NOT TIE THEM--

--Miles walks through a LOBBY filled with TALLER KIDS in IDENTICAL BLUE UNIFORMS. A cutting-edge LAB SCHOOL in a converted industrial building.

STUDENT: I love you, Dad!

In a SEA OF BLUE, Miles awkwardly tries to interact like he was on his street but everyone's so focused.

MILES: Hey good morning. How you doing?... Weekend was short, huh?

(he turns to another kid) Oh my gosh this is embarrassing, we wore the same jacket--

MILES P.O.V. -- The UNIFORMED KIDS just pass by. Miles is discouraged.

PASSING STUDENT: Hey--   MILES (CONT'D) (hopeful): --Yeah?

PASSING STUDENT: --Your shoe’s untied.

MILES: Yeah, I’m aware. It’s a choice.

"... I never got why he did that," Gwen muttered.

And as his SHOULDERS DROOP he turns to walk into--

INT. VISIONS ACADEMY - MONTAGE

--A MATH TEACHER in front of a BAFFLING FORMULA.

MATH TEACHER: --Who can solve this for XY?--

--A LOGIC TEACHER in front of an ELABORATE PROOF.

LOGIC TEACHER: --And that is known as a syllogism.

--IN JUMPCUTS Miles walks back and forth across the hallway. Each time he is holding more paper and books in his arms, getting more and more WEIGHED DOWN.

SPANISH TEACHER (V.O.): --en este clase, se habla castellano--

LITERATURE TEACHER (V.O.): --Tonight, read two chapters of Great Expectations --

SCIENCE TEACHER (V.O.): --I’m giving you a take-home quiz on volumetric pressure --

HEALTH TEACHER (V.O.): --a five page essay with your conclusions stressed --

VARIOUS TEACHERS (O.S.): Workers Party/ Take-home Work / Industrial Revolution / Incapable / An enormous change / Unstoppable --

--The MONTAGE BUILDS, a MULTI-PANELLED FLURRY--

PRELAP: A BELL RINGS He runs through the EMPTYING HALLWAYS.

END MONTAGE.

The Spiders' heads were swimming.

"Well," Junior groaned. "That was realistic."

INT. VISIONS ACADEMY CLASSROOM - DAY

Students sit in a DARKENED CLASSROOM, lit only by a large screen playing a DOCUMENTARY.

PHYSICIST: --countless other possibilities. There could be a universe where I am wearing red. Or wearing leather pants--

Oh, he really wasn't kidding about the documentary back then, Peter-B noted with a hint of surprise. That was... convenient.

The door BURSTS OPEN -- MILES, out of breath, is silhouetted in the doorway.

The TEACHER FLIPS THE LIGHTS on. STUDENTS blink in the bright light and grumble.

MS. CALLEROS: Mr. Morales, moving in the dark. You’re late again.

MILES: Einstein said time was relative, right? Maybe I’m not late. Maybe you guys are early.

Miles’ joke is met with unamused SILENCE. Except for a single TITTER from a NEW GIRL.

NEW GIRL: Sorry. It was just so quiet.

"Oh, hey, that's you!" Junior realized. "... wait, how?"

"I'm... sure it'll explain," Gwen hedged.

Notes:

As you might have noticed, the over-all mood of our audience members is Bad. Mayday is here to provide some relief from the angst fest, at least.

(i really don't like Miguel O'Hara, can you tell?)

Chapter 3: New (Spider) Kids

MS. CALLEROS: Would you like to keep standing there or do you want to sit down?

Someone HITS THE LIGHTS. In the dark, Miles awkwardly makes his way to his seat, BANGS into a desk in the dark. (Junior: "Ouch.")

Onscreen is a PHYSICIST, identified as “Director, Alchemax Laboratories.” She’s the consummate nerd and AMPED about physics.

PHYSICIST: Our universe is, in fact, one of many parallel universes happening at the exact same time. Thanks to everyone here at the Fisk Family Foundation for the Sciences, I will prove they exist when I build my supercollider. All I need is 10 billion dollars. Chump change, right?

Junior blinked rapidly. "Chump change? I knew a billionaire, and even he wouldn't have just casually spent that much money!"

"Sorry, you knew a billionaire?" Peter-B asked, mildly flabbergasted.

"... he died last year, I don't really want to talk about it."

Yikes, Gwen and Peter-B thought simultaneously.

ON MILES, he BONKS INTO THE DESK of a NEW GIRL, paying rapt attention and sits down at the desk beside her.

Miles checks out the girl, who catches him looking. Miles looks away. Looks back -- she’s still looking.

NEW GIRL: I liked your joke.

MILES: Really?

NEW GIRL: I mean, it wasn’t funny, that’s why I laughed. But it was smart, so I liked it.

MILES (taken aback, then): I don’t think I’ve seen you before--

--Ms. Calleros SHUSHES Miles, cutting him off.

MS. CALLEROS: Shhhhh!

Miles sits -- checks out the new girl but she’s focused on the documentary  again . Miles is INTRIGUED.

Gwen reddened visibly.

Peter-B noticed. Ah yes, they do have a bit of a mutual crush, huh.

PHYSICIST: Every choice that we make, would create countless other possibilities. A What-if to infinity.

INT. VISIONS ACADEMY CLASSROOM - LATER

Miles stands in front of Ms. Calleros’ desk as she slides a zero with a 0/100 written on it.

MILES: A zero? A few more of those and you probably have to kick me outta here huh? Maybe I’m just not right for this school?

MS. CALLEROS: If a person wearing a blindfold picked the answers on a true or false quiz at random, do you know what score they would get?

MILES: Fifty percent?

MS. CALLEROS: That’s right!

MILES: Wait wait!

MS. CALLEROS: The only way to get all the answers wrong, is to know which answers were right. You’re trying to quit. And I’m not going to let you. I’m assigning you a personal essay. Not about physics, but about you and what kind of person you want to be.

"He's a lot smarter than he acts, huh?" Junior hummed.

"It's easy to underestimate Miles," Gwen agreed. "... it's also a bad idea."

INT. DORM ROOM - NIGHT

Miles stares at his STACK OF HOMEWORK. He takes out a legal pad to start on his Great Expectations paper. He sighs.

Frustrated, Miles looks out the window for a beat. Miles SMILES -- he has a MISCHIEVOUS IDEA.

EXT. BROOKLYN - NIGHT

Miles moves down a street, alive with night time city energy. Once again the CAREFREE kid he yearns to be. Moving AWAY from the Manhattan skyline and turning into--

--AN ALLEY, where he sees a light on in the top apartment.

INT. UNCLE AARON'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

UNCLE AARON is texting on his couch when he receives a picture text of him, texting, from 1 second ago. Uncle Aaron looks at his window and sees Miles--

MILES (laughing): Uncle Aaroooooon! Hey! Were you scared?!

Miles PRESSES HIS FACE UP AGAINST THE WINDOW making a funny face. (The audience chuckles, Mayday especially giggling happily.)

TIME CUT -- Aaron washes dishes as Miles SPARS with Aaron’s PUNCHING BAG not-very-competently:

MILES (CONT’D): You want that, huh?  Unh .  Unh .

UNCLE AARON: What’s up with school?

MILES: Going great. Got tons of friends.

UNCLE AARON: You can't tell me it’s all that bad there... smart girls is where it’s at. Place must be full of 'em.

Aaron walks over to the punching bag and holds it for Miles.

MILES: No, there’s no one. There’s no one.

Aaron walks over to the microwave to get some popcorn.

UNCLE AARON: ...Yo, I cannot have a nephew of mine on the streets with no game.

MILES: I got game! (fronting) There was a new girl, actually, she's kinda into me. You know how it is.

UNCLE AARON: What's her name?

Miles sits on the couch and SCRIBBLES in his notebook.

MILES (stutters, until--): --You know we... this is... we’re laying down the groundwork right now.

Dork, Gwen thought to herself. I miss you.

Uncle Aaron reacts, amused by Miles effort to sound cool.

UNCLE AARON: You know about the shoulder touch?

MILES: Of course I do! But tell me anyway.

UNCLE AARON: Tomorrow find that girl, walk up to her and be like... (does shoulder touch) "Hey".

"Oh my god, that's what he was trying to do," slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it.

"He actually tried that on you?" Peter-B grinned.

"I could never," Junior nodded faux-seriously. "I would simply die on the spot."

Peter-B shot him a slightly concerned look.

MILES (laughing): You serious Uncle Aaron?

UNCLE AARON: I'm telling you, man, it's science.

MILES: So walk up to her and be like... hey.

UNCLE AARON: No no no no... like hey ...

MILES: " Hey ."

UNCLE AARON: No. “Heyyy”

MILES (mocks him): Heyyyyy .

UNCLE AARON: You sure you’re my nephew, man?

Miles’ phone vibrates.

UNCLE AARON (CONT’D): Is that her?

Miles has a text from Dad: “Done with that homework?” (Junior: "Clearly not!")

MILES (checking his phone): I should probably go. Still got a paper to do tonight.

Aaron sees this text and then casually but deliberately changes the subject to Miles’ drawings in his notebook.

UNCLE AARON: --Yo, you’ve been holding out on me. You throw these up yet?

"He's really good at that, whoa," Junior noted, impressed.

Gwen remembered a notebook, pages filled with her face. "He is."

MILES: No, man, you know my dad. I can’t.

– Aaron stands. He crosses out of frame, Miles getting EXCITED--

UNCLE AARON: C’mon. I got a spot you ain’t gonna believe.

MILES: I can’t! I can’t I can’t--

INT. SUBWAY CAR - NIGHT

Miles and Aaron make their way out of a subway car and wait for it to clear.

MILES: I’m gonna get in so much trouble.

UNCLE AARON: Hey man, tell them your art teacher made you.

MILES: Hey, how did you know about this place?

UNCLE AARON: Did an engineering job down here.

INT. SUBWAY TUNNEL - NIGHT

Aaron and Miles walk deeper and deeper down the tunnels and approach an ELECTRIFIED floor-to-ceiling FENCE. RACK TO an A L CHEMAX PRIVATE PROPERTY SIGN, and other HIGH-SECURITY PARAPHERNALIA. Someone really wants people to stay out.

"Oh boy, I get the feeling I know exactly what's about to happen," Peter-B muttered.

"Spider-bite?" Gwen asked rhetorically.

"Spider-bite," Peter-B agreed.

Aaron expertly CLIMBS A FENCE, drops down on the other side. Miles climbs the fence.

We STAY ON AARON as we hear Miles struggle. Finally, Miles lands next to Aaron.

MILES: Wassup?

Uncle Aaron laughs.

UNCLE AARON: Yeah man, I knew we were related.

INT. ABANDONED SUBWAY TUNNEL - NIGHT

Aaron leads Miles into a huge space. Empty walls and spiderwebs as far as the eye can see.

MILES: Whoa… (then, for the echoes) BROOKLYN! Brooklyn! brooklyn! (Mayday: "'roo-in!")

The room is full of BEAUTIFUL STREET ART -- it’s a secret spot.

UNCLE AARON: There’s a lot of history on these walls.

MILES: This is so fresh.

Aaron gestures to a wall that’s been RECENTLY CLEANED AND PREPPED...clearly by Aaron.

Aaron smiles, leans down to his BAG and unzips it, revealing KRYLON SPRAY PAINT CANS. He tosses a can to Miles. Presses PLAY on a stereo.

Miles SMILES-- --and starts painting. Aaron turns over a BENCH.

UNCLE AARON: Now you’re on your own, Miles.

(CONT'D) Whoa, slow down a little... that's better... that’s perfect.

Unbeknownst to them, a faintly glowing SPIDER descends on a web, towards the ground, and towards the cans!

Junior blinked, surprised, when the spider glitched. "What the hell?"

"Yeah, that's why Miles is an 'anomaly'," Gwen explained. "... his spider was from a different universe."

"That is so cool."

"... not to Miguel, it wasn't," Peter-B muttered,

"Who?"

"The uh, leader of Spider Society," Gwen explained curtly.

UNCLE AARON (CONT’D) (coaching him): The real Miles, comin’ out of hiding. Now you can cut that line with another color. That’s it...

MILES: Little help?

CUT TO Miles on Uncle Aaron’s shoulders. For a beat afterward, they paint TOGETHER.

UNCLE AARON: You want drips? ‘Cause if you do, that’s cool, but if you don’t you gotta keep it moving...

MILES: That’s intentional!

Aaron traces Miles’ silhouette on the wall.

UNCLE AARON: Wow.

Miles steps back, admiring his work. A STRIKING PIECE, built around Miles silhouette with nothing painted inside it. A BLANK. “No Expectations” written above.

Gwen stared at it. "... hey, Peter-B, have you seen footage of the Spot yet...?"

The what now, Junior thought, but decided not to ask for the moment, sensing the others' unease at the topic.

Peter-B, meanwhile, nodded. "I have. The resemblance is... a little uncanny, honestly."

MILES (suddenly embarrassed): Is it too crazy?

UNCLE AARON: No man. Miles I see exactly what you’re doing here, man.

Miles smiles. So happy to finally be seen.

UNCLE AARON (CONT’D): Yeah. You know me and your Dad used to do this back in the day.

MILES: Stop lying.

UNCLE AARON: It’s true. Then he took on the cop thing... and I don’t know. He’s a good guy, just... you know what I’m saying...

Aaron’s phone VIBRATES, he READS a message. A shadow across his face.

UNCLE AARON (CONT’D): All right, come on man. I gotta roll.

Aaron walks out of the tunnel leaving Miles alone. Miles takes one last look at their PAINTING and takes a picture of it on his phone.

There's the SPIDER, on the back of Miles’ hand. It BITES him!

WE JUMP INTO PSYCHEDELIC 2D ANIMATION, watching the VENOM make its way into MILES’ BLOODSTREAM, BUILDING UNTIL--

--Miles flicks the spider and it falls off his hand.

"That was... surprisingly anticlimatic," Junior muttered.

INT. DORM ROOM - NIGHT

TIME LAPSE: As the moon rises, Miles shifts positions. It’s a restless sleep, the spider-bite faintly glows, Miles starts to sweat...

While Miles tosses and turns, his roommate Ganke works on his computer, taking a break to read “The True Life Tales of Spider-Man” comic book.

INT. DORM ROOM - MORNING

Miles gets up and puts his pants on. They are too short.

MILES (V.O.): That's weird. My pants shrank.

The words "that's weird" are VISUALIZED onscreen. Miles looks up, SURPRISED by the sound of his own Spider-Man voice-over.

"Am I supposed to have the voice-over thing, too?" Junior asked idly.

"You... don't?" Gwen and Peter-B stared at him.

MILES: I think I hit puberty.

Ganke stops typing at this laptop, eyes wide. He quickly resumes his work as the words “I should have kept that to myself” appear thought-bubbled next to Miles. (Gwen snorts.)

INT. VISIONS ACADEMY - HALLWAY - DAY

Miles walks the halls, awkwardly trying to pull down his pants that are now suddenly too short for him.

As he speaks HIS THOUGHTS APPEAR IN THREE DIMENSIONAL SPACE BEHIND HIM.

MILES (V.O.): I gotta get new pants. Wait, why is the voice in my head so loud? (then) What--

--His strut is interrupted by a high-pitched WHINE that STOPS when he bumps into the NEW GIRL FROM PHYSICS CLASS.

NEW GIRL: Oh! Are you okay?

MILES: What?

MILES (V.O.): Why am I so sweaty???    NEW GIRL: Why are you so sweaty?

"Oh, that's weird," Gwen grimaced. "I was saying his thoughts?"

MILES: It's a puberty thing. I don't know why I said that. I’m not going through puberty. I did. But I’m done. (”cool” and deep voice) I’m a man.

(tries to be suave) --So you're, like, new here, right? We got that in common.

NEW GIRL: Yeah, that’s one thing.

MILES: Cool, yeah. I’m Miles.

NEW GIRL: I'm G-Waaaanda.

MILES: Wait, your name is Gwanda?

GWANDA: Yes, it’s African. I'm South African. No accent though, cause I was raised here.

Gwanda continues, though her voice FADES AWAY...

MILES (V.O.): Do the shoulder touch now! Before she walks away!

In SLOW MOTION, Miles' hand heads toward Gwanda's shoulder as she watches its slow, deliberate journey.

MILES (V.O.): Why is this so scary? Am I doing this in slow motion or does it just feel that way?

WANDA: ...I'm kidding. It's Wanda. No G. That's crazy.

The hand lands. Beat.

The awkwardness had Junior unconsciously cringing away from the screen. (He wasn't the only one - Gwen was hiding behind her bangs while Peter was trying his level best to pay more attention to playing with Mayday.)

MILES (”cool” and deep voice): “Hey.”

WANDA: OK then. I’ll see you around.

MILES: Oh. See you.

Miles is mortified. Wanda turns to leave but is jerked back by Miles.

MILES (CONT’D): Sorry... um... oh crap--

WANDA: --Hey! Um, can you let go, please? Ow ow ow ow ow, calm down, it’s fine--

MILES (CONT'D): --I can't... let... go...

Miles is STUCK to her. He tries to unstick himself but it keeps getting worse. Now Wanda's hair is involved.

WANDA: Miles, let go!

MILES: I'm working on it. It's just puberty!

WANDA: I don’t think you know what puberty is! Just relax.

MILES: Okay, I have a plan.   WANDA (CONT'D): Great.

MILES: I’m going to pull REALLY hard.   WANDA (CONT'D): That’s a terrible plan.

MILES: 1... 2...   WANDA (CONT'D): --Don’t do this!--

WANDA (CONT’D): --3!

Wanda finally has enough and FLIPS Miles, in full view of dozens of students. Miles SCREAMS.

"... well, there goes the last of his chances at being popular," Junior muttered.

Gwen winced.

Pre-lap: An electric razor BUZZES.

INT. NURSE'S OFFICE - LATER

Miles looks on as his hand is freed from Wanda’s hair. Miles’ expression tells us her hair is ravaged.

And it is.

MILES: Nice to meet you.

She won’t even look at him.

WANDA: Sure. Total pleasure.

INT. VISIONS ACADEMY - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Exiting, Miles balls his hair-covered hands and puts them in his pockets. He walks the halls, mortified.

MILES (V.O.): No one saw. It’s ok. No one knows. No one knows.

(everyone is staring)

Everyone knows. Everyone knows!

The sentence “EVERYONE KNOWS” appears behind him, giant letters. The period appears last like a CANNONBALL.

MILES: They’re talking about me. They saw everything. He knows. She knows. They know.

(distracted by a tall girl)

Wow. She's super tall. Why is he smiling? Am I the weird guy now? What am I doing? How do I stop? Can they hear my thoughts? Why are all my thoughts so loud?!

The SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD appears--

SECURITY GUARD: --Hey! I know you snuck out last night, Morales.

MILES (V.O./THOUGHT BUBBLE): Play dumb.

(to the security guard) Who’s Morales?

(V.O./THOUGHT BUBBLE): Not that dumb!

Junior couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth. "Oh man, I really wanna meet this guy. I feel like we'd get along? I'm awful at lying, too. I just completely clam up."

--Panicking, Miles TAKES OFF RUNNING.

SECURITY GUARD: --Hey!

Miles rounds a corner and runs down the hall trying. He finds an open door and runs into:

INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Miles slams the door behind him.

M ILES (V.O.): You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay. He’ll never find you.

He SPINS to LOOK AROUND THE OFFICE, and sees, to his horror, a PHOTO OF THE SECURITY GUARD AND HIS BUDDIES.

MILES (V.O.): No.

"Oh, that's just... wow, that's awful luck," Peter-B muttered.

EXT. SECURITY OFFICE

The guard reaches the door, starts to bang. We now see the sign on the door: SECURITY OFFICE.

INSIDE THE OFFICE

Miles is stuck, yanking on the door. His HAND pulls away, ripping off the DOOR'S VENEER. He stands, his hands sticking to his shirt and accidentally YANKING IT OVER HIS EYES.

SECURITY GUARD (O.S.): What are you doing in my office Morales?! Morales! Open up!

Unable to see he RUNS DIRECTLY INTO A BOOKSHELF, then sticks to it, pulling it down IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. He hits the laptop and Spider-man’s Christmas song (”Spidey Bells”) starts to play.

MILES (VO/THOUGHT BUBBLE): Why is this happening?

Outside in the hallway, the security guard notices the kids reacting to the song playing from his office.

SECURITY GUARD (sheepish): He's got a good voice.

--Miles TRIPS and ROLLS UP THE WALL -- circling the four walls like a dervish, he sticks to the ceiling and “break dances.”

SECURITY GUARD (CONT’D): Open up!

MILES (V.O./THOUGHT BALLOON) (exerting himself): Stop... sticking!

He falls onto a DESK CHAIR and then ROLLS OUT THE WINDOW!

OUTSIDE THE BUILDING

Miles sticks straight out his window sill, sticky feet the only thing preventing him from falling down.

MILES (V.O./THOUGHT BUBBLE) (CONT’D) Keep sticking, Miles!

Miles struggles to get inside. He rolls onto an ADJACENT WINDOW where A FULL CLASSROOM of TRANSFIXED STUDENTS doesn’t notice the horrified Miles on the window--

TEACHER: ...what Hofstadter is suggesting... is that we... look underneath...

--Miles rolls AROUND THE BUILDING, rounding a corner --

Suddenly BIRDS fly into him, and somehow become STUCK TO HIS HANDS as they FLAP WILDLY, PECKING AT HIS EYES--

EXITING THE BUILDING, we find WANDA, watching Miles, a little perplexed.

WANDA: ...OK...

BACK WITH MILES, rounding a corner-- He’s back at his dorm room!

MILES: My room!

IN HIS ROOM, Miles makes his way through his window to the FLOOR. He looks up, breath heaving as a SPIDER-MAN COMIC floats down onto his face. (The True Life Tales of SpiderMan) Miles lifts the comic -- it rips a bit -- and looks at it. The two-page spread contains panels IDENTICAL TO WHAT MILES JUST EXPERIENCED: A Spider bite. Peter Parker pulling on the door ("Why is this happening?", “Please stop sticking!”), rolling out the window, and finally lying on the floor, exactly where Miles is.

MILES (CONT’D) (pure panic): How could there be two Spider-Men? There can’t be two Spider-Men.

(V.O.) Can there?

SPLASH PAGE: THE TWO SPIDER-MEN

On the cover: Miles leans against a glass building, 20 stories up. The REAL SPIDER-MAN is his reflection, but he’s bigger and cooler looking.

"Oh there's a lot more than just two," Peter-B and Junior remarked in unison, then stared at each other for a long moment.

"Yep, that was weird," Gwen nodded.

Notes:

I'm playing with the thought of Hobie and Pav joining the audience. Thoughts, anyone?