Rainy Day | Rhea Ripley

by ilovewhenwomen

Summary:

Alex is caught in a spiral of trying to work as a videographer for the judgment day with a less than cooperative Rhea Ripley as her boss and trying to keep a secret from everyone. How long will it take until everything comes crashing down on her?

Chapter 1

Will you take the pain while you suffocate

'Cause you know something is creeping in the dark

- Rainy Day by Ice Nine Kills

 

 

“Oh shit sorry” While I was rushing to get to my appointment I had completely missed the woman rushing in the opposite direction, running into her and making her scatter the giant pile of papers she was carrying. I knelt down trying to help her pick them up but ended up reaching for the same one she was already holding, ripping it in half. I apologized profusely and decided to leave her alone before I could make it worse. Mentally cursing myself for waking up so late that all of my careful organization had gone out the window I pushed open the door to the gym where I was supposed to meet the person who would hopefully be my future employer. That was if I could manage the job interview without destroying some fancy workout equipment or accidentally pushing them to the floor too. 

 

I was hired as a videographer through the company I worked for and technically had already been given this job but the client wanted to meet me in person before actually making a decision on whether or not I was a good fit. It was in the nature of this job that we would spend a lot of time together so I guess she wanted to make sure I wasn’t a weirdo. So now it was on me to do my best to pretend that I wasn’t.

 

I entered the big main room of the gym, flooded with light and mostly empty as it was seven in the morning. 

As I was still trying to gain some orientation I felt someone approach me from behind.

“Hey, you’re Alex, right?” A warm deep voice with a thick Australian accent said. I turned to her and smiled.

“That’s right! And you must be Demi” I stuck out my hand to greet her but she had already turned around to go back to the mat she had laying on the floor behind me. I tried not to look awkward and pathetic as I retracted my hand.

“I’m sorry that I have to multitask but I need to get my stretching done while we talk.” She apologised to which I just nodded.

“It’s fine, if you want to you can just tell me a little bit about what exactly you were looking for when it comes to this position” my best attempt to sound professional. She rolled her eyes.

“I really wasn’t looking for anything to be honest. My manager thinks it would be beneficial for my public image if I had a YouTube channel, I had one with a former partner a couple of years ago and it was generally well received” She started stretching out her left shoulder “However, as you can tell, I have absolutely no time in my day to take videos of anything and while I thought that that was a good enough excuse to not have to do this they decided to hire you behind my back. No offense” I tried not to take any but to be honest I didn’t feel very welcome.

“So you, or your manager, are not only looking for someone to take the videos but also to edit and upload them? Like a social media manager? Because I actually have experience doing that” I tried one more time to sound like the well-organised professional I was supposed to be. She scoffed.

“Well yes, that’s what my manager wants, but there’s another side to it for me. See, I’m on the road a lot so you would have to travel with me, spend basically all day with me in order to film anything interesting and you would have to keep up with my lifestyle. I’m going to be blunt here, I’m not convinced you can” Now it was my turn to scoff at her.

“With all due respect, you don’t know me. You don’t know what I can and can’t keep up with.” At this, she finally looked up at me. I expected her to be annoyed or even angry but I was surprised that the look in her eyes was more… intrigued?

“I didn’t want to judge you” she continued “What I want is a trial period. Of course, you will get paid the agreed-upon amount, but if you are to take this job we are going to spend a lot of time together and I want to make sure that this works for both of us"

I nodded. This did make sense. After all, if I was being honest I didn't really know what I was getting myself into here.

"Okay, agreed" I responded.

 

"Great" she went back to stretching her legs "we are leaving for Atlanta tomorrow, Meet me here at nine and I will text you the rest details."

"Tomorrow?" I hadn't been expecting that.

"Yes, tomorrow. What's the issue? Can't keep up?" Her voice sounded so self-assured that I wasn't sure whether to be angry or flustered. I chose to go with cocky.

"Not in the slightest. I will be awaiting those details and I'll see you at nine am tomorrow."

"Deal" was all she said before gathering her water bottle and yoga mat and walking off in the direction of the locker rooms, leaving me stunned. I didn't know what to make of her and her attitude but something about her made me want to do everything humanly possible to get her on my good side. At the same time, it seemed I couldn't stop embarrassing myself in front of her.

As I stepped out on the sidewalk my phone buzzed. I looked at it and instinctually turned it off as if that would make the sender magically disappear from planet Earth. This was a problem for future Alex. Current Alex had to worry about packing for Atlanta.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

You need a new clean slate without the dents

A place to put your pain, your consequence

- Like A Villain by Bad Omens

 

"Good, there you are!" Demi was already waiting in front of the Gym building when I got there. I glanced at my watch. After yesterdays debacle I had made sure to eliminate every possibility of being late today and it was currently eight am.

"Did I get the time wrong?" I frowned.

"I texted you that we had to leave an hour early but the text didn't seem to go through and I thought you wouldn't get it in time" She was already heaving my luggage in the trunk of her car. I bit my lip, after I had turned my phone back on yesterday and gotten the travel details from Demi I had put it in airplane mode and turned off my WiFi because I just wanted to exist in my safe little bubble for a night. But I must have missed her other messages.

Good thing it had still worked out.

 

I got in the passenger seat and we drove off to the airport. I hadn't really expected her to make conversation during the ride, but if it hadn't been for the loud heavy metal music blasting from the speakers this would have been the most awkward drive of my life.

She pulled into the parking lot and leant back in her seat, eyes closed, after shutting off the engine.

"Prepare yourself for the vultures" She sighed, more to herself than to me. Which was good because I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

 

When we walked into the airport and I felt her tense next to me I realised what she had meant.

"You call your fans "the vultures"?" I whispered to her in disbelief.

"Of course not" she whispered back "you'll see what I mean"

We had been greeted by a large crowd of people, holding phones, photos and all kinds of merchandise for Demi to sign. But it was clear very quickly that not everyone was here with the same intentions. As Demi was chatting with a fan who wanted to take a picture with her, with the composure of someone who had done this a billion times before, a guy approached from the side. He was holding all the WWE memorabilia that his scrawny little chicken arms could fit and he seemed to know nothing about the concept of personal space.

 

"Rhea! Hey, Rhea could you sign a couple of things for me?" He yelled at her, trying to grab her wrist. Demi declined politely as she was still talking to some of the others.

"Oh come on it will only take a second" he started to sound annoyed. He also didn't back off, instead he came even closer, effectively trapping Demi between the group of people and a gigantic potted plant.

"Hey dipshit, she's clearly busy right now so how about you back the fuck off and stop being a creep." I ducked between them and stood in front of Demi like a barrier.

 

"Sorry guys, Rhea needs to go now or we'll miss our plane." I gave a half hearted apology and all but escorted Demi to the Check in desk, which must have looked ridiculous because I had even scrawnier little chicken arms than the creepy guy and Demi was... well Demi.

"That was kind of ballsy you know" Demi said once we had finally boarded the plane and taken our seats.

I looked at her, questioning. Did she mean the fact that I had made a sad attempt at playing her bodyguard or that I had started a fight with the creepy guy?

 

"Are you usually in the habit of mouthing of to strange men who have no understanding of boundaries?"

"That dude was all over you and he had no right to be as entitled as he was"

"True. But he's basically everywhere I go, next time he sees you he might remember you. What are you gonna do then?"

"Well I would like him to fuck around and find out" my eyes had become tiny from anger.

Demi just looked at me like people look at a chihuahua that wont stop barking but is still kind of cute.

I expected her to immediately put on her headphones and not even look at me for the remainder of the flight but to my surprise she kept looking at me.

 

"Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?"

That took me off guard. What in the world would she want to know?

"Uhm, my name is Alexandria Therese Marlowe and I'm 23 years old. I'm a videographer, I was born and raised in New York, I don't have any pets because I can barely keep a cactus alive, my favorite color is burgundy..." I stopped my rambling as I saw her barely able to keep a straight face.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, you're good. What about your family?"

I cringed at the question.

"Not in the picture"

"I see. Any deep, dark secrets I need to know about?"

"Well if I told you they wouldn't be deep, dark and secret anymore now would they?"

 

Trying to think of a way to distract from how uncomfortable the turn of the conversation had made me I took out the small camera I had stashed in my carry-on, the rest of my equipment being checked in with my luggage, and pointed it at her.

“So, Rhea Ripley, care to tell everyone where we’re going?” She rolled her eyes at me.

“Turn that thing off Marlowe”

I just grinned at her.

“Sorry doll, no can do, this is my job after all” Demi raised her left eyebrow, grabbed my hand that was holding the camera and pushed it down and leant in so close that her face was directly in front of mine, almost touching our foreheads together.

“You call me doll one more time, Alexandria, and a job will be the least of your worries” she had put on a devious grin that I had only ever seen in her character Rhea.

Then she leant back, put on her headphones and closed her eyes, leaving me to try and make my goosebumps go away for the rest of the flight.

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

I need to heal what I inflict

But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it

- Masterpiece by Motionless in White

 

When we got to our hotel, Demi realised that her manager forgot to book me a room.

And since the hotel is completely booked we now had to share one like we're in a shitty romcom, which didn't really matter much to me since there were two beds but Demi seemed really pissed about it. She just brought her suitcase to the room and immediately left for the gym. Since I apparently had the whole day to myself (I wasn't about to try and film her again when she was in a mood like this) I decided to talk a walk through the city.

I had never been to Atlanta before and I left my phone in the room under the guise of making this walk "meditative".

 

However, I had gravely underestimated the absolute labyrinth that is Atlanta and due to the fact that I was tired and unfocused I ended up getting lost and it was eight pm when I finally got back to the hotel.

When I entered our room I heard the shower running so Demi had probably gotten back recently as well. As I was looking through my bag to find an outfit that didn't smell like an airplane and the grime of the city she came out of the bathroom in tracksuit bottoms and a tank top, hair still dripping.

 

"There you are I thought you'd gotten lost" she let herself fall onto her bed. I made the executive decision not to admit that I had indeed gotten lost.

She took my phone from the windowsill and threw it at me, I didn't catch it but it landed on my bed.

"Some guy called Xav keeps calling you"

I tried to remain neutral at this information but apparently she'd seen my face go white because her face lit up with curiosity.

"Oh so that's someone important. Ex-Boyfriend? Deadbeat dad? Drug dealer?"

I wasn't in the mood for games though.

 

"That's not funny Demi. I'm sorry that the calls bothered you but no, he is nothing of the sort. I'm gonna go take a shower now" I got in the bathroom with my clothes, locking the door behind me and fleeing the situation. I wanted to throw my phone out the window but I knew that realistically that wouldn't change anything.

"Don't take to long, we're going to dinner with the guys in 30" Demi shouted from outside the bathroom. The 'guys' could technically be anyone but I assumed she was referring to the rest of the judgement day.

 

I briefly pondered wether or not I should wear something a little more put together but then I decided that my usual black leggings and oversized T-Shirt would have to do.

If kept this job these boys would be seeing me all the time so what was the point in pretending I was someone I'm not.

45 minutes later I found myself in the hotel restaurant sitting across Dom, Finn and Priest, which were the names they insisted on being called despite me usually preferring real names over stage names because using their stage names made me feel like a weird fan.

 

Demi had been bantering with Finn ever since we got here and I was glad that she seemed to have relaxed a little.

I was pretending to study the menu, trying not to draw any attention to myself. I was still a little rattled over the calls.

Priest had other ideas though. I quickly found myself in a very longwinded conversation about growing up in Staten Island (apparently my accent had been a little too obvious) compared to Puerto Rico, since he had also been born in New York City.

Damian was a great conversationalist but not good enough to distract me from the fact that Dominik Mysterio kept staring at me like there was something on my face. I wasn't the only one noticing it either.

 

"Mate what the fuck is up with you? Wanna take a picture of her so you don't forget what her face looks like?" Demi asked, slightly irritated.

This seemed to snap Dom out of whatever sphere he had been residing in for the past half hour.

"What? No, of course not, I'm sorry, it's just that I could've sworn we've met before" he stuttered.

"That is the oldest pick up line in the book and I'm not going to fall for it" I distracted, grinning at him while getting up from my chair.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom really quickly"

 

When I got out of the stall I was greeted by a certain tall, dark and handsome aussie woman, looking at me with furrowed brows.

"Can I help you Demi?" I wondered while turning on the faucet to wash my hands.

"Do you need any help mate?" She leaned on the counter and looked at me in the mirror.

"What do you mean?" I played dumb.

"You're deflecting every personal question anyone asks. And you get fidgety and weird. Are you okay?"

 

"It's my first time traveling with you. I've never sat at a table with four pro wrestlers before. And I'm also generally a private person. So I'm sorry that I'm not telling you my whole life's story without even knowing you which, by the way, you are not doing either. Get over yourself" I regretted these last three words the second I said them. It was uncalled for and I knew it but I really wanted her to back off.

Which she did. Literally. With a look on her face like I'd just egged her house.

 

The rest of the dinner went over seemingly without any more incidents although that was mainly because Demi pretty much ignored me completely.

Once we got back to our room I apologised to her but she barely acknowledged it and went to bed soon after.

I spent a while laying on my bed in the dark room, trying to think of something to do.

 

I knew that I couldn’t go on like this. I couldn't keep treating people like this and expect them to not ask questions. I needed to get my shit together.

And I started by blocking Xavs number. This wouldn’t solve anything and I knew that but I needed this job and the only way I could try and focus on it was by eliminating the distraction. 

But I still needed to get rid of some this nervous energy somehow and there was only one surefire way I knew how to do that.

I waited until Demis breathing made it clear she was asleep and slipped out of our hotel room into the unknown city.

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

The worst had yet to come

Needed that fix to let my mind go numb

- Cannibals by Of Virtue

 

"Hey sleeping beauty, you think you're going to get up any time soon?" I stirred and pulled the blanket over my head.

"What time is it?" I asked the Australian who was standing next to my bed with her hands on her hips.

"It's 9:30 and I honestly don't know how you're still asleep. We went to bed at like ten pm, I've been up for hours"

I chose to ignore that statement and kicked off the blanket sitting up.

 

"Have you already been to the gym?" I yawned and stretched out my arms. Demi shook her head.

"I've been doing promo stuff since 6 am, me and the guys are going now and I was wondering whether or not you'd like to tag along to film some of it. Not that I particularly like that idea but I guess it is what you're here for" she explained and I had to suppress a smile.

She was clearly doing her best to make sure that I didn't think she actually wanted me there but I was not sure how much of that I believed.

 

"Give me ten minutes" I rushed into the bathroom after grabbing a set of gym clothes. I wouldn't be the one actually working out but I didn't want to look out of place.

When I returned shortly after, Demi was holding two to-go cups of coffee, handing me one of them.

"Thanks" I took it and gathered the rest of the things I wanted to bring when I could feel her eyes on me.

"Are you staring at my ass, Bennett?" I pretended to be appalled.

 

To my surprise, Demi actually played into the joke.

"Of course, I am, since you have so generously displayed it to me" she winked. If it had been a guy saying that I would have been disgusted. But her saying it gave me a strange feeling of... excitement?

At least she seemed to not be mad at me anymore so maybe we actually had a shot at getting along without getting pissed at each other all the time. Maybe her style of showing affection was playful fighting.

 

I turned to look at her and took my time making sure she could tell how intently I was watching every centimeter of her body.

"I haven't even checked if you will look good on my camera yet but I think... yep, that'll do" and with that, I opened the door to leave.

Of course 'that'll do' had been the understatement of the century. I had rarely seen a body as perfect as hers but if she wanted playful fighting then two could play that game.

As she passed me she pretended to "accidentally" slap my butt with her phone and I pretended to gasp in shock.

"Well see how you do at the gym," she said, smirking.

 

"Don't worry I know how to work a camera, that's kind of my job" I was confused.

Demi just nodded and held open the door of the Uber for me, which had just arrived to pick us up.

 

We got to the gym and the boys hadn't arrived yet so Demi started warming up while I took a seat on some kind of workout machine with my camera.

I started filming when she did a strange movement I couldn't place but that looked insanely hot. She was standing with her legs spread apart and her hands on the floor and then, in one fluid motion, brought her upper body close to the floor and went back up.

"What's that one called? The worm 2.0?" I asked, trying not to giggle at my very stupid joke.

 

"No that's a lion pushup. You want to try?" she came back up and looked at me expectantly. I just shrugged.

"Sure. That looks like something I can actually manage" I put down my camera and stood in the spot where she had previously been, mimicking her motions.

I realized my mistake when I face-planted on the floor and heard her laugh louder than I ever had before.

"Alex, what are you doing?" I heard Damian's voice "Have you ever done a lion pushup before? That's a very advanced thing you know"

I got myself up in a halfway graceful fashion and shook out my hurting arms.

 

"No, somehow Demi must have forgotten to mention that" I glared at her, only to realize that she was holding my camera and had filmed this very awkward display of my athletic abilities (or lack thereof).

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it" she handed the camera back to me.

They got on with their training and I made it my day's mission to make Demi laugh whenever she was the most concentrated (of course not in potentially dangerous situations). It was only after she had chased me through the entire gym and threatened to brutality-stomp on my camera that we got some actual work done.

If I was being honest I was mesmerized. Everything about this woman and the way she moved was a work of art and I had to remind myself to take some footage of the guys as well.

 

All in all their workout went on for about three hours and afterward, we sat down in a little lounging area in the back of the studio so they could have a protein shake and  I could have them record some voiceovers explaining what exactly they were doing in the clips I had taken (partly because it would be well received and partly because I wouldn't have been able to explain it if my life depended on it).

 

I wanted to go get some lunch afterward but the guys had a meeting with some official WWE people and Demi had to go do more press so I ended up going to a little cafe by the hotel on my own.

I had just gotten my food when my phone rang. It was an unknown number but I decided to pick it up anyway in case it was one of the boys.

It wasn't.

"Well well well, finally." An eerily familiar voice snarled on the other end.

"Did you really think that you could just block me like a child and I would be off your back? This is not over by far and you can't run from it forever so I suggest you come home and own up to your shit" Xav said with a voice so low that I was scared he was about to crawl to the phone.

"What are you going to do Xav, huh? Call the police?" it wasn't a smart move to talk to him like that but something about the past couple of days gave me a false sense of security. I hung up before he could say something else and threw out my food.

I wasn't hungry anymore.

Instead, I went back to the hotel and locked myself in the room, trying everything I could to keep myself from going out and digging myself even deeper into this hole I was in.

Notes:

I did a stupid thing I wasn't going to do and posted all of my pre-written chapters basically in one go so I hope I can make myself stick to some kind of an upload schedule assuming anyone even actually reads this 😂

Also if you have any ideas or requests feel free to let me know

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Can't hear what you're shouting, I'm deaf to your show

It's easy to lose your self-control

- In Between by Beartooth

 

I couldn't even explain the relief I felt when Demi finally walked through the door of our hotel room after her press work.

I'd had a very difficult afternoon of trying to distract myself and I didn't know how long I would've been able to keep doing that on my own.

"Hey Dems, I edited the footage from earlier, want to see it?" I turned my Macbook so she could get take a look at it.

"Dems?" she raised those damn eyebrows again as if she knew what that did to me.

"Yes, Dems" I did my best to sound casual "Now do you want to see or not?"

 

She plopped down on the bed next to me and I started playing the gym vlog I had cut. I had filmed an intro and outro by myself as well, which, going on, I would have a member of TJD do as well but there hadn't been time today.

Demi watched the video intently and crossed her arms in front of her chest when it stopped.

"Is this a joke? You cut out my favorite part" She sounded genuinely offended.

 

"What do you mean? Everything you did is in there. Even your weird lion... oh. No Demi, no way in hell" I stopped myself when I realized what she meant. Demi Bennett wanted me to include the part where I had completely embarrassed myself trying to do a lion pushup.

"If you don't put it in I don't give you the right to use my likeness in your video or whatever that is called" Demi threatened.

"That's not how it works Demi there is a contract..."

"I don't care. I'll... revoke it or something"

She scooted closer to me on the bed and brought her lips to my ear. Damn, why did she always have to do that?

 

"Put it in, Marlowe" I could feel her warm breath on my ear as she whispered it.

"You are a menace" I stated and began looking for that particular piece of footage.

I ended up posting the video (with the good-forsaken lion pushup part) the same night. Tomorrow was Monday so I would spend all day filming Demi and the guys' day preparing for Monday night Raw so I wouldn't have time to make any changes to it anyway.

 

I had known that the video would do well after Demi shared it on her Instagram story.

What I hadn't expected were the comments.

While everyone was obviously excited to see Demi and the rest of the judgment day, there were quite a few comments about me as well.

Specifically about how Demi and I interacted with each other.

I chose not to show them to Demi, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, but I did make sure she saw the overwhelmingly positive reaction by the public and it made her less annoyed about the whole vlogging thing.

I also made sure to send an update to her manager and my boss and they were pleasantly surprised.

 

After getting some takeout from a small place across the road, Demi and I decided to watch a movie and have an early night.

She chose some kind of slasher film which I was okay with because I couldn't concentrate anyway.

My mind kept circling back to the phone call with Xav and what I was going to do about it.

"Stop it" she suddenly said.

"What?" I hadn't even noticed that instead of the movie, Demi had been watching me.

"You're doing it again. That thing that you do with your hands" She grabbed my hands to look at the little red marks all over them.

 

When I was nervous I picked at my skin. I used to do it on my face but since that was very visible I had switched to my hands over the years.

"It's fine it's just eczema" I gave the dumbest and most obvious lie in the history of lies.

"Sure it is" she snorted and turned back to the movie, not letting go of my hands. In fact, she did not let go for the rest of the film.

An hour later I found myself laying in the dark again, not able to sleep.

I had put all my energy into staying sane all afternoon but now that it was night and everything had quieted I just couldn't.

 

I waited until Demi was asleep and put on shoes and a jacket to leave the room.

But just as I went to open the door I could hear a deep and very much awake voice with an Australian accent behind me.

"Where are you going?" Demi asked, confused.

"Just... out" I replied.

"Yeah, I don't think so. What could you possibly be doing out alone in a strange city in the middle of the night? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? Plus we have to get up really early tomorrow" She got up and walked over to me.

"Take those off" she pointed at my shoes.

 

I don't know what overcame me at this moment but the way she said that so matter-of-factly made me actually take off my shoes and let her lead me back to my bed.

"Lay down"

I did.

And so did she.

 

"What are you doing?" I asked while simultaneously moving over to give her more space as though it was perfectly normal to crawl into bed with me.

"I'm making sure you stay right where the fuck you are" I could feel her eyes on me, even in the darkness and it sent shivers down my spine.

"I'm not a child, Demi" I made a halfhearted attempt to get her to leave me alone. It didn't work.

"Maybe not, but you're obviously a flight risk. I know that you don't want to tell me what's going on with you but I can promise you that I will find out so I suggest you start thinking about just telling me yourself," she stated and turned her back to me, while settling into my bed, clearly intend on sleeping there tonight.

 

I tried to slow my breathing and focus on trying not to cry.

I knew she'd notice. But she was sensible enough to not ask any more questions as if she knew that that would be my breaking point. 

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

There's a darkness, I can feel it in your touch

I should get away

I want you way too much

- Angel Eyes by New Years Day feat. Chris Motionless

 

When I woke up from my alarm the next morning at 6 am, Demi was no longer next to me.

She was sitting across the room on her bed, scribbling something in a little notebook she always carried with her.

"Morning. What are you doing?" I asked, trying to ignore the disappointment that was creeping up in me about her no longer laying with me.

"Making a workout plan, I'm leaving for the gym in ten minutes so if you want to come I suggest you be ready by then"

She sounded like she always did. As though last night hadn't even happened.

I sighed and got up to get dressed. What was I expecting? Her confessing her unconditional love to me? I wasn't even into her like that. I was just so very mentally unstable at this very moment that I was craving any comfort I could get from anyone.

 

When she started her warmup program, I set up my tripod with my camera and step onto a treadmill next to her, causing her to look up in confusion.

"What are you up to?" She sounded shocked as if I had just taken out a screwdriver and started to take the machine apart.

"I'm working out, what does it look like?" I said as if that was the most normal thing in the world.

"I will learn how to do a fucking lion pushup if it's the last thing I ever do" It was meant to sound badass but the fact that I was already out of breath just made me sound pathetic.

"Oh damn I really got you good with that one mate, didn't I" she chuckled.

 

I stayed silent. While I really did want to learn how to do a stupid lion pushup because it was scratching at my ego, the truth was that my boss had told me to train with her. We had gotten so many comments asking Demi to train me on that last video that he said it would really drive up the engagement.

I wasn't particularly fond of the workout part but if it was with Demi there was at least some good to it.

 

I quickly regretted this decision though, when Demi turned into a fucking drill sergeant the second I picked up a dumbbell.

I hadn't even asked her to help me with it because I was sure I could figure it out on my own but she was standing next to me, giving me pointers in a very impatient way.

"No, when you're doing a bicep curl you want your entire upper arm to be still. Your elbow is moving" She tapped against my left elbow.

"I swear to god Marlowe, if you don't keep that elbow still I'm going to glue it to your side" With that she stood behind me and put her hands on my elbows, not holding them but touching them to remind me to keep them still. That caused me to lose all strength I might have in my arms because they spontaneously turned to jelly. I knew I was supposed to focus on the burning sensation in my upper arms, but all I could feel was Demi's body, so close to me that she was almost but not quite, touching the length of my back.

My skin was covered in goosebumps and I was trying my very best not to get lost in the warmth and safety she was radiating.

"Woah are we interrupting something here?" Dom suddenly appeared next to us.

 

I jumped at his voice and dropped one of the dumbbells I was holding, luckily Demi had great reflexes and caught it just in time.

"Nope, not interrupting, I think that was enough training for me for the day" I replied and handed the other dumbbell to Demi as well.

"Here, you go on with them"

Instead of using them she just gave me an amused look at put them back on the rack. Obviously, they were too light for her which I obviously hadn't thought about.

By now the rest of the guys had arrived as well and I ended up focusing less on showing the techniques they used as I had yesterday and more on how cool they looked doing them. This was supposed to advertise the superiority of the judgment day after all.

 

"So Demi, do you mind explaining what the plans for the rest of the day are?" I asked, encouraging her to speak into the camera as she was wiping drops of sweat from her shoulders that had dripped down from her hair. It was incredibly hot.

"I'm going to take a shower and then I have a couple of interviews to give before we head to the venue for tonight. You can follow along if you want"

"Amazing" I turned off the camera "What are you gonna do about lunch though?" even though I had worked out for all of two seconds I was starting to get hungry.

"Sorry princess, no time" She shrugged and left for the locker rooms.

The nickname made me blush even though I would've never admitted it.

 

"Seriously, what's going on between you two?" asked Damian from behind me.

"Does she always skip so many meals?" I didn't even pretend I was interested in responding to his question.

He chuckled, knowing me well enough by now to not press the issue.

"She does, she has a very strict hierarchy of importance when it comes to everyday things and food is very low on that list" he explained.

"Not when she's with me it's not" I scoffed and went off to at least find her a snack from the vending machines.

 

Once I had successfully force-fed Demi a packaged sandwich I had bought at the gym and made sure she'd had some water as well (her reaction to this had been "Fuck off Alexandria, you're not my mum" but she had done it anyway) we both arrived at the studio where she was supposed to give her interviews.

I mostly kept in the background and got some behind-the-scenes shots of her trying not to get in the way of the team.

"Marlowe, can you help me with this cable?" she suddenly asked, referring to the tiny fluffy mic that was attached to the collar of her biker vest.

"Sure what do you need?"

 

"Can you try to make this run under my jacket to the mic box in my back pockets so it's less visible?"

My palms started sweating. In order for me to do that I had to literally put my hands under her shirt and guide it where she wanted it. But I also couldn't raise suspicion by not doing it.

 

So I adjusted the cable while trying to be respectful and not feel her up like a fucking creep even though I wanted to.

Then I watched as she went off to give her interview and rushed into the bathroom to splash my face with cold water.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Notes:

A/N:
Ngl I'm kinda using this story to procrastinate on what I should actually be doing right now.
I'm starting to pick this up a little more but there is another storyline that I need to focus on before I can actually kick off this relationship.
Also in case you want to see Demi do a lion pushup you can see it in the "Shoulder, Biceps & Triceps" Video on the Brutality in Action channel on youtube at around 1:05 minutes. I swear to god I saw her do this and tried it because I didn't think it looked that hard and I almost broke my nose its SO difficult but I thought it was funny to incorporate it into this story.

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Notes:

A/N:
From this point on I'm going to have to set a general trigger warning regarding themes of self harm, substance abuse and violence in general. This is very broad and I am aware of that but if any of these topics might trigger you then please take care of yourself and don't read this

Just a pawn in a king's disguise

I never said I'm perfect

there's guilt behind these eyes

- Queen for Queen by Motionless in White

 

"What do you mean she would need a ticket, she is literally part of our team?"

Demi (or actually Rhea right now) had been in a heated discussion with a security guy for about ten minutes because he wouldn't let me in the audience to see the show.

Rhea wasn't fighting today but the judgment day was going to have some segments stirring up a little drama throughout the show and she thought that it had been cleared that I could sit in the audience and watch it.

 

The security however had informed us that in order for me to do that I would need to buy a ticket which I couldn't because it was completely sold out. I was honestly okay with watching from the backstage area on one of the TVs but Demi was pissed about it.

Eventually, we got her to calm down a little after I had explained to her that I was just going to use the time to get some super exclusive backstage footage that everyone would love and the judgment day went into the gorilla to prepare for their first appearance of the night.

 

I sat in one of the backstage rooms with my Laptop and started to roughly edit the videos I had made today.

The by now well-known shivers ran down my spine as I watched back what I had. filmed at the gym.

I knew that I had to include parts of it because it was what people had been asking for after all but I cut out the part that looked suspicious and only included Demi being a drill sergeant.

 

When the speakers of the TV started playing the judgment days music I look up and smiled to myself as I saw the group walking down the ramp, confident as ever.

Dominik had his hand on Rhea's shoulder and she was giving the audience her signature smirk, looking absolutely regal.

They got into the ring to interrupt the interview that was currently happening when I caught something from the corner of my eye.

Or rather someone.

 

Right there, in the second row behind the commentator's table sat Xav.

For a second I thought I was going to throw up, then my leg started shaking uncontrollably.

How the fuck did he find me here? How long had he known I was here that he had time to get a ticket?

Did he know where my hotel was, my room?

 

I started pacing around the room, frantically scratching at my hands.

What was I supposed to do now? I felt the overwhelming urge to get out of here, as far away as possible, and leave everything that could identify me behind.

However, I had no such luck as I saw Demi and Finn enter the room, seemingly in search of me.

"So, what did you think?" she asked smiling, before noticing the state I was in.

 

"Oh my god what happened?" she tried to take my hands to stop me from scratching but I backed into the corner behind me like she had just tried to hit me.

"I'm... nothing, I just... I need to go" I ran out of the room and through the hallway, the only thing I could think about was that I had to get out of here. After almost getting lost in the giant building I ended up finding a service entrance I could slip out of.

I only took a very brief moment to try and catch my breath before I walked down the street and got on a random bus, just trying to get away.

I made sure to turn my phone off, all my other stuff was back at the arena anyway.

 

My brain decided on doing the most illogical thing in the history of the world, and half an hour later I found myself in a disgusting, dark little bar in the back alley of some kind of shop as I proceeded to make my situation even worse.

Hours passed before I snapped out of the trance I was in. I was broke and drunk and I smelled like an ashtray but I realized that I would have to go back to the hotel anyway. What other choice did I have?

I didn't think I actually still had a job after the stunt I had pulled but all of my stuff was still there and as much as I wanted to avoid it, Demi deserved to at least know I was still alive.

I shook off the sticky old man who had been glued to me for the past hour, having only let him do that in the first place because he was a lot less broke than I was, and left the bar.

I had no idea where I was or how exactly I got here. I didn't know how far away the hotel was either.

Dreading what I would see, I turned my phone back on.

 

67 missed calls.

I didn't even look at how many messages.

 

Instead, I opened google maps to see that I was a full hour away from the hotel.

I called an Uber, cursing myself for having to spend so much money on that but at least I could pay with my phone, and waited until it arrived.

While I was waiting I realized the area I was in. It wasn't a place for a young woman to be alone at night. I was probably lucky that I hadn't been found by an axe murderer yet.

I finally arrived back at the hotel, only to realize that just like everything else, my room key was in the purse I had left behind in the venue.

There had been no chance of sneaking in unnoticed, to begin with, but this was going to make it even more awkward.

The door flew open as soon as my knuckles grazed it to knock.

 

"Where the fuck have you been" a positively fuming Demi pulled me into the room by my wrist and kicked the door shut behind us.

"Do you have any idea how worried we have been? We almost reported you as a missing person" she hissed while giving me a thorough once-over as if she expected me to be beat up or something. I mentally cringed as I remembered that that very well could have happened tonight.

 

"I'm sorry Demi. I didn't mean to worry you. But you must be completely exhausted so why don't you go to bed and we'll talk tomorrow" It was worth a try but Demi wasn't naive.

 

"Sit down on that fucking bed and start talking. You are so drunk, you can barely stand. You told no one where you were going. Your hands are literally scratched raw. We both know that if I go to sleep now you'll be gone without a trace tomorrow and I won't make it that easy for you. So talk. Now."

 

I swallowed hard and sat down on the bed like she had ordered.

Where could I even start?

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

If I showed you my soul would you cover your eyes?

If I told you the truth would you dare me to lie?

- Voices by Motionless in White

 

For a while I just sat there, staring at the wall.

"What happened at the show that got you so rattled?" Demi asked.

"He was there" I had trouble even getting the words out and even so they made no sense to her.

"Who was there Alex?" She was starting to get impatient.

"Xav" my voice was little more than a whisper.

 

"Your Ex?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I've told you before that he is not my Ex"

Her leg began to bounce up and down as she tried to remain calm.

"Then who is he?"

 

I swallowed hard, trying to get the words out even though I didn't want to at all.

"Xav is a bookie, Demi. We have a very long history and I owe him money. But recently he decided that there would be other things he would prefer to money and I'm not willing to give them to him so he's even angrier than he was before"

She needed a moment to compute what I had just told her.

"A bookie? Like sports bets?"

I shook my head.

 

"Not usually. I'm more of a gambler" I explained with a dry laugh, tears walling up in my eyes.

"What do you mean by very long history, how long have you known this guy?" she wanted to know.

"I've known him for 23 years. He used to be a friend of my mother's. She was a pretty fucked up person and I was basically raised in illegal gambling bars. I can't even fully blame her, she was an addict, really really sick and she couldn't let it go. I still remember how ecstatic she used to be whenever she won. She used to tell me about the things she would buy for us, houses and toys and she always promised me a pony" I laughed bitterly.

"Where is she now?" Rhea asked.

 

"Dead" I closed my eyes for a moment.

"She had a little run-in with drugs and because she didn't know what she was even consuming she ended up overdosing when I had just turned eighteen. I didn't know where to go. So Xav took me in"

"Took you in as in...?"

 

"At first I thought he was just letting me live with him until I had found something else. But then he started mentioning how my mother had outstanding debt and since I was her only living relative it was now my responsibility to pay it off. I had no way of doing that. But it turns out that I was quite a valuable asset to him. I grew up around gamblers. I know all of the tricks, all of the secrets, and apart from that I was an eighteen-year-old girl. It doesn't get any less threatening. So we started working together. He would organize gambling sessions and make sure I had the best odds to win and I would basically scam others out of money. If they found out there really wasn't much they could do, after all, they were committing a crime too. But it didn't stop once I had paid off my mother's debt. I thought I would be able to leave but I was too far in it. I loved... still love the high I get from winning and it is never overshadowed by the losses even though they've been getting a lot more common lately. So I stayed. Until I found out that he had been the person who sold my mother the drugs that had killed her. I told him I was out, I found an apartment and a new job, but he's been on my back ever since, he insists that I still owe him money because there was an interest on the debt I paid off and he won't leave me alone until I come back to him"

 

I had said all of that in pretty much one breath and now that it was out I couldn't contain myself anymore.

 

To my humiliation, I broke down crying, gasping for air while trying not to hyperventilate.

For a short moment, Demi just sat there and stared at me.

Then she did something I hadn't ever expected her to do.

 

She wrapped her arms around me and held me as tight as she could without constricting my breathing.

"Where did you go earlier?" it sounded like she had to force herself to ask this question like she didn't really want to know the answer.

"I went to a bar" I sobbed.

"I didn't want to do it, I promised myself I would stop gambling but it's my default thing to do whenever I feel bad for any reason."

 

Suddenly I realized that Demi had started to cry as well.

"When you left and didn't come back I kept picturing everything that could have happened to you. I don't think I have ever been this scared in my life. You have to promise to never do that to me again. Whatever it is, you can tell me anything and I will be here for you and I will try to help you fix it but promise me that you never ever leave me like that again"

I looked up at her, a little puzzled.

 

"You're not kicking me out? You didn't call your manager or my boss about this?"

"Of course, I didn't" she sounded genuinely shocked.

"Whether you like it or not you are a part of the judgment day now and we protect each other. Always."

 

Her face looked angelic in the dim light from the bedside lamp. Even like this with her smudged makeup and red-rimmed eyes she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. That's when I realized that she was still holding me close and suddenly I got nervous.

"Is it okay if I take a shower now? I kind of smell like shit" I asked carefully.

 

"You are absolutely right you do" she laughed through her tears "Off you go, and then we are going to bed. We have a flight to catch tomorrow"

It was true. I had completely forgotten that we would already be flying back tomorrow and suddenly the sinking feeling in my stomach was back.

Would I make it back home? Back in my apartment, alone?

 

When I got out of the shower, Demi had settled into my bed with a naturalness that made me smile.

I got in and cuddled up next to her. All the doubts I had could wait until tomorrow.

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

So soft, so gentle this rose is kind and still

with change comes hatred now time to kill

- Malevolence by New Years Day

 

It took me a while to remember where I was when I woke up the next morning.

Everything slowly came back to me when I felt a hand on my back and heard Demi humming behind me.

"Good morning" I turned around to her.

"Jesus Christ you look like hell" was her response.

 

I got up and went to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face when I caught my reflection in the mirror.

Demi was right. I looked like hell.

My eyes were red and puffy and underlined by thick dark shadows and the rest of my skin was white as a ghost.

But I didn't feel any better than I looked.

 

Demi helped me to clean and bandage my wounded hands, using a first aid kit that she apparently carried around wherever she went ("It makes sense when you're around reckless and occasionally childish wrestlers all the time") then she ordered room service for breakfast while I started packing.

I was relieved to see that Demi had taken all of the things I left at the Arena back to our hotel room and I wouldn't need to call my employer to tell him that I had lost thousands of dollars worth of equipment.

 

The drive to the airport was silent. Demi made sure to keep some kind of physical contact with me at all times as if she was concerned that I would evaporate into thin air if she stopped.

We had met the guys before leaving the hotel, they were all glad to see me and didn't press to find out what had happened which I was very grateful for, I didn't think I had it in me to explain it again.

The closer we got to home, the more I was lost in my thoughts.

Demi, of course, noticed immediately.

 

"What's going on in that little head of yours?" she reached out her hand to stroke a strand of hair that had fallen on my forehead behind my ear. The gesture was so soft and delicate that it almost made me cry all over again.

I just shook my head. She had already seen too much of the mess that was my life. I couldn't drag her further into this, it wasn't fair to her.

But she was having none of the silence I gave her.

"Alexandria" she commanded in a calm but assured voice "tell me what's wrong."

 

For some reason, whenever she spoke to me in this benevolently dominant tone I had no choice but to oblige to whatever she was requesting.

"I'm scared of going home. I haven't had a clean streak that was longer than a couple of days there for weeks and I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm tired"

I felt her tense up next to me and when I looked over at her I was surprised to find her having an indignant and almost straight-up angry look on her face.

"You did not actually think I would let you go home by yourself, did you? There's a weird guy out there who is threatening you and the last time he got close to you you walked straight into danger. No way, you are coming with me or I am staying with you but I'm not leaving you alone" she exclaimed.

 

Maybe I should have been annoyed by the way she was patronizing me but all I could feel in this very moment was relief.

And for the second time in less than 24 hours, I ended up crying in her arms.

We got back to Orlando and decided that I would stay at Demi's apartment since she had her dogs there.

I just needed to make a stop at my place and pick up some things I would need.

 

My first impulse was to ask Demi to wait in the car since my place was pretty much a dump but she refused to let me out of her sight.

This turned out to be a good thing because when I unlocked the door and stepped into my living room I was met with a horrifying sight.

 

My entire apartment had been trashed. The furniture was tipped over, my dishes were smashed on the floor and my walls had been spray painted with unintelligible tags.

And in the middle of this mayhem was Xav, sitting on my couch with a cup of coffee as if he belonged there.

"Oh good, you're finally home" he stopped in his tracks when he saw Demi standing behind me.

"And you brought a little visitor, how nice"

 

Demi's nostrils were flaring and her eyes were pinched to tiny slits. Every single muscle in her body was engaged. I had never seen her this angry before. She didn't know for sure that this was Xav but the context clues seemed to be enough.

"You have ten seconds to get your ass out of here and never come back again. I am not someone you want to get in a fight with, understood?" she growled. This wasn't the cocky and brutal Rhea Ripley. This was a very furious Demi Bennett and somehow that was even scarier.

Xav held up his hands as if he was surrendering.

 

"I see it's not a good time right now. I will see myself out then. Until next time, Alexandria" the last part was clearly a threat.

Once he was gone I broke down.

"He's gonna come back for me Demi"

"I'd like to see him try" She was still breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

 

"No. I hate the way he acts like he owns you. I don't know why it makes me so angry, almost..." she trailed off.

"Almost what?"

"Almost jealous" she admitted, her voice a little lower than before.

Admittedly, I was surprised. That wasn't what I had expected.

 

"So what are you going to do about that?" I was playing with fire and I knew it. But I had to know how this would play out.

"I'm torn between going after him and beating the shit out of him until he doesn't remember his own name and..."

She stepped impossibly close to me, leaving me caught between her body and the wall.

 

"And pushing you against this wall and making sure that you know who you really belong to" she whispered in my ear, sending a rush through my system.

"And who would that be?" Even in this very strange situation, I couldn't help but push her buttons a little bit. I wanted to see how far she would go.

She put her hands against the wall on either side of my head.

"You've done this before" she determined.

"So have you" I contered.

"True" She stepped away slowly, and I followed, not wanting her to stop.

 

"Patience love" she chuckled "now is not the time. Let's go home"

After I had (begrudgingly) packed some of the things that Xav hadn't destroyed I followed her to the car.

As much as I was excited to stay with her, the closer we got to her apartment the more nervous I got.

But Demi still had a hand on my leg the whole drive, making sure I didn't feel alone.

Chapter 10: Chapter 10

One look at your eyes and I cave in

One taste of the life, now I crave it

- Miracle by Bad Omens

 

Demi unlocked her apartment door and we were immediately attacked by two tiny tornados, one very fluffy and one silky smooth.

"My babies! I have missed you guys so much, come here" Before I could comprehend it, Demi was sitting on the floor cuddling her dogs, happy as a kid in a candy store.

"They have missed you too," said a voice from the other end of the hallway.

"Hi, I'm Candace, Demis' dog sitter" a young woman introduced herself.

"Hey, I'm Alex"

 

As Demi was talking to Candace about anything important that might have happened I went into her living room and sat on the couch, promptly joined by the two dogs and a slightly suspicious tuxedo cat that despite his initial cautiousness seemed to warm up to me pretty quickly.

 

"I see you have made friends with the children" Demi was leaning in the doorway.

"I love them" I cooed while scratching Lunas' ear.

We spent a moment just sitting next to each other, cuddling the dogs.

No one said a word but it wasn't awkward, it was peaceful.

 

I looked at her, tried to find the right words to say, to convey my gratefulness and everything else I was feeling but she shut me down before I could even speak.

"It's okay Alex. Don't worry so much, everything is exactly how it should be."

How did she always say the right thing?

 

She reached out to squeeze my thigh lightly and went into the kitchen to prepare some dinner and I followed her, standing behind her.

"Can I help you somehow?" I asked.

"You can sit your pretty little butt down and let me work, you're distracting me" she chuckled.

So I was a distraction now? I was about to put that to the test.

 

In a fluid motion, I pushed myself up to sit on the counter right next to where she was standing, dangling my legs and looking at her with my best innocent expression.

Demi raised her eyebrows.

"Excuse you" she looked like she was annoyed but her voice had gotten that low raspiness to it that implied she wasn't, not really.

"What?" I asked provocatively "You told me to sit down. I'm sat"

 

I stole a piece of the cucumber she was cutting and popped it into my mouth.

"Careful little girl, I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into here" she inched closer.

"Let's put that to the test, shall we?"

I pulled her by the collar of her shirt until she was standing between my legs.

 

For a moment I thought I had her right where I wanted her until suddenly her hand was on my jaw, holding it in place so she could look into my eyes intently.

"You are not in charge here. I am. You don't call the shots. You understand that right?" her voice was determined but soft.

I nodded.

 

"Great. Then be a good girl and go entertain yourself while I make you dinner" She went back to cooking.

I grinned, jumped off the counter, and went to look for the dogs. Something told me that they wouldn't be such killjoys.

 

After we had dinner Demi showed me her guest room. It was nice and spacious but I was still kind of disappointed. I wasn't sure why but I somehow had expected to be sleeping in her room.

We started a new show on Netflix that we watched for a while before Demi excused herself and went to bed, she wanted to get to the gym as early as possible tomorrow because she was scheduled to be on a podcast at noon.

 

I went to the guestroom and sat on the bed. Now that there wasn't any distraction I started to think again. That was never a good thing for me.

I was contemplating whether or not I was brave enough to knock on Demis' door and ask if I could stay with her when the guest room door suddenly opened and the Australian poked her head in.

 

"This is going to sound controlling but I actually can't really sleep not knowing what you are up to right now. Would you mind staying with me in my room?" She didn't even have time to finish the question before I had gathered the duvet and pillow from the guest bed and squeezed past her into the hallway on the way to her room, hearing her chuckle behind me.

I laid down in her bed which was big enough to fit both of us and all of the animals and waited for her to follow.

She did and pulled me in a hug when she joined me.

 

"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise," she said so quietly that I didn't think she meant for me to hear it but I did.

Her long pointy nails started scratching my scalp which made me almost start to purr.

 

My hands started to roam over her arms, really feeling for the first time how defined and smooth they were, so soft and so strong at the same time. Her tattoos looked like they had always been a part of her skin since she was born and I enjoyed feeling her underarm muscles move slightly as she was moving her hands.

 

I traveled up to her shoulders, stroking over her collarbones and then her neck, making her visibly shiver which gave me a strange feeling of accomplishment. As my hands started to move down towards her chest, she took her hands off of my scalp and took my wrists, holding them together tightly but not painfully.

 

"What did I tell you before?" she asked.

"I am not in charge" but oh did I wish I was in this very moment.

"Go to sleep, Alex" She kissed my forehead and settled deeper into the sheets, her breathing evening slowly.

 

My next half hour was spent watching her sleep like an absolute freak until I could feel my own body get heavy and tired.

Chapter 11: Chapter 11

I get so high on feeling low

love running with the sicker things

and sleeping with my ghosts

- Wicked Ways by Halestorm

 

I stretched out my hand and traced my fingernail over Demis' spine, feeling her shiver under my touch.

"You could've just told me that you were awake, you know?" she turned around to face me.

"It was more fun this way" I smiled.

Demis' alarm had gone off a couple of minutes ago and she had been scrolling through Instagram since then but now she slowly sat up.

 

"I'm gonna go get ready for the gym, so don't stay in bed for too long" She kissed my forehead and left to go to the bathroom.

I closed my eyes for a moment, basking in the feeling of complete and utter comfort before I let reality catch up with me.

While trying to get dressed I realized that I didn't have that many clean clothes left. I would have to ask Demi if I could do laundry at her place but I also desperately needed to go out and get some essentials to replace everything Xav had broken.

Mentally cringing at the memory of my destroyed apartment I pulled an oversized hoodie over my head, the perfect 24/7 hiding place.

 

I didn't have any clean leggings so I would have to go with bike shorts even though I didn't really like showing my legs, they were the body part if was the least confident about.

Demi had returned from the bathroom in booty shorts and a longline sports bra and I caught myself looking at her for a little too long. She caught me too.

With a sinister grin she took a pair of sweatpants she had already laid out on a chair next to her bed and pulled them over the shorts.

 

"Sorry love, as much as I know you like these shorts they are a little bit cold," she said in a mocking tone.

When had we started to switch from our normal conversation style to pretty much flirting all the time? I couldn't remember but I also wasn't complaining.

 

We gathered our things, said goodbye to the dogs, and drove to the gym.

It felt surreal that the last time I had been here I had only just met Demi for the first time. Somehow it felt like that was years ago.

 

I watched (and filmed) as Demi suffered through a particularly brutal leg day (she ended up taking off the sweatpants soon after starting her warmup) and scrolled through my phone as I waited for her to get changed for the podcast.

The place where it was being recorded was directly next to a mall.

 

After a little bit of convincing, I left Demi at the studio and went over there to buy some things I needed. I had about an hour and a half before she would be done and she made sure I knew that she would send out a search party immediately if I wasn't back by then.

 

I had been to a drugstore and a shop for activewear and was now browsing through the mall when something caught my attention.

It was a small newsstand in the middle of the hallway and it was selling lottery tickets.

Every fiber of my being knew that it was a stupid idea. There was no point in this, it wouldn't even give me the same satisfaction as an actual game.

 

But before I could really think it through, I had gone over there.

The cashier was eyeing me suspiciously, probably because I looked at the scratch-off tickets like a predator looking at its prey.

 

"I would like to buy five of those" I pointed at the tickets and he hesitated for a moment but then he just shrugged and handed them to me.

I took them and left, sitting down on a bench nearby.

The tickets felt like they were burning in my hands, daring me to use them.

But I also knew how dangerous the game I was playing was.

If I won literally anything I would go back and buy his entire inventory because that meant I was potentially having a lucky streak.

If I lost I would try again and again.

 

A look at my phone told me that I didn't have time to think about this anymore anyway because I had to go back to the studio to meet Demi.

I shoved the tickets into the side pocket of my shorts with my phone and got up as fast as I could, hurrying out of the mall as if my life depended on it.

 

Demi greeted me with a big smile, leaving me feeling even more guilty than I had before. But this wasn't new to me.

As much as I hated pretending, I had done this a million times before and it was something I excelled at.

So I smiled back and gave her a hug, asking how the podcast went and listening to her answer while she was driving us home.

We decided to order some lunch before we would take the dogs out.

 

Waiting for it to arrive, Demi was lying on the floor on her back, Barry draped over her stomach while she tried to keep Luna from rolling up on her face. I started filming her, using my phone because this was way too adorable to miss and I was worried that if I went to get my camera they would stop before I got back.

Lunch went by without any special occurrences apart from me getting dirty looks for "secretly" feeding Barry a piece of chicken under the table.

 

Earlier, Demi had picked out a dog park we would go to that she hadn't visited before and the dogs were ecstatic when we got there. God only knows how these little creatures had room in their body for so much energy, but the second they were off leash and saw the little doggy pool that was standing in the shade of a big tree they were gone, running and jumping around like little bouncing balls.

 

Demi stood behind me and had her arms wrapped around my body as we watched the two of them. It was a perfect moment.

If it had been up to me, we wouldn't have left this place ever, but it was slowly getting dark out so we dried off the by now very tired dogs and took them back home where I took dibs on the first shower.

 

I had bought a very cute pajama set at the mall and I couldn't wait to see Demis' reaction to it.

But when I came out of the bathroom, the atmosphere had changed drastically.

 

She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, holding a piece of paper.

"Alexandria, what the fuck is this?" she held up her hand.

It was a lottery ticket.

Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Notes:

A/N:

This is the part where it gets spicy. And kinky. This is just the beginning though, read at your own risk.

You're never gonna get it with the games you play

a little respect goes a long, long way

- I Come First by Halestorm

 

"That is a scratch-off ticket" I responded to her question, matter-of-factly.

"No shit" she scoffed "mind telling me what it's doing in my apartment?"

I opened and closed my mouth without a single sound escaping. Like a fish.

 

"When did you buy this?" she pressed. She knew exactly when I had bought this, she just wanted to test if I would lie to her.

"Earlier" I admitted. "But I didn't use it"

"Do I look like I give a shit?" she got up from the bed and approached in a predatory way that would've made my knees weak from arousal in any other situation but right now it scared me.

 

"The problem here, Alex, isn't you buying or using this. The problem is that you didn't tell me. Haven't I proven myself trustworthy to you? You were clearly struggling and instead of coming to me, you resorted to this. Do you know how that makes me feel?" suddenly there was something more to her voice than anger. She was disappointed in me.

I didn't want this to turn into a heartfelt, tearful conversation. I'd had enough of that.

 

If she wanted to fight, I was in but I wasn't breaking down, not tonight.

"I'm a grown-up, Demi. If you want me out of your apartment I'm gone, but I can do with my money whatever I want" My voice sounded almost as cold as her hat a moment ago.

"Don't you get that I only have your best interest at heart?" the disappointment was gone. There was just fury left.

"And how would you know what is the best for me?" I spat.

 

At that, she had enough. She rushed towards me, grabbed my wrist, and pinned them against the closed bathroom door, above my head.

She only seemed to realize the situation we were in once she was already pressed against me with her whole body, still holding my wrist and panting in my face.

"You can be such a little brat" she growled.

"Then what are you going to do about it?" I raised my left eyebrow in my best attempt to be as infuriating as humanly possible.

Just then she seemed to see right through what I had done.

 

"I might make you sleep in the guest room on your own" she replied, her voice as level and clear as ever.

Well, this hadn't been part of my plan.

"But that would be so boring now, wouldn't it?"

 

My next move was calculated and I knew that I had a 50 percent chance of ruining everything and pushing her away for good. But I couldn't help myself.

"How about you let me make it up to you" I gracefully sunk to my knees in front of her.

 

She stared at me in shock for a moment and I was sure she'd tell me to get up and get out of her room. Instead, she tilted her head to the sight, suddenly intrigued.

"And just how do you expect to do that?" the velvety smooth, low growl was back.

 

"However you want" I put the palms of my hands on her thighs and slowly let them slide down her bare legs, trying not to look smug as I felt her get goosebumps. Just as I brought my hands back up to sneak them under the seams of her shorts I suddenly felt a sharp sting on the back of my head.

 

Demi had pulled me back up by my hair, so high that I had to stand on my tiptoes in order to not be in pain.

"Then why don't you stop pretending you're in control and go lay down on the fucking bed" she hissed in my ear.

I shuddered, which didn't escape her watchful eye, and moved towards the bed with as much dignity as I could muster.

 

When I went to sit down on the edge of the bed she stepped closer and pushed me on my back by my shoulders. Hovering over me for a moment she then grabbed my hair and pulled me up by it, making me arch my back. Her face, once again, came close to mine and our noses brushed like she wanted to kiss me but when I turned my head to go in for a kiss she harshly pushed me back onto the bed.

 

"The initiative is mine. And right now I just want to look. Show me the rest of you." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at me expectantly. I wasn't quite sure if I had understood her correctly though.

"Show me the rest of you" she repeated, making clear that I had indeed understood her correctly.

 

I slowly got up on my knees and pulled my shirt over my head.

She nodded, signaling me to keep going.

I moved to take off my pants when she stopped me.

 

"No. Put them back on and try that again. Slower. Sexy"

I froze for a second.

"Somebody’s shy?" she asked, one eyebrow arched.

I made an unintelligible sound.

 

"You can be honest" her voice sounded calm, sincere.

"A little bit"

She chuckled.

"I wonder why"

 

She pushed me back down onto the bed, bracing her hands on either side of my head.

Taking her time she took in every inch of me she could see. My neck, and collarbones, don't to my breasts.

With anyone else, I would have felt exposed. But with her, it felt right. Like this was how it was supposed to be. She approached my face once again, and once again I tried to kiss her, but she put a hand on my chest and pushed herself back up, leaving me wanting once again.

 

"That's where you want to be but you're not going to get there yet. We have a lot of talking to do first. Not tonight though"

She let her hands slide over my chest one more time and swiftly got off the bed, disappearing into the bathroom.

Moments later I could hear the shower turn on.

 

I tried to slow down my heart rate, failing miserably, and resisted the urge to try and finish what she had started.

This woman really was something else. And I had gravely underestimated her.

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

You always had a way of creeping in my life

You're always so inclined to tear apart my mind

- The Fastest Way To A Girl's Heart Is Through Her Ribcage by Ice Nine Kills

 

I had expected the next morning to be awkward but it was surprisingly normal. I woke up to an empty bed and found Demi in the kitchen, making breakfast in the company of her dogs.

 

We joked around a little bit and ate, making light conversation.

It was almost as if yesterday had never happened until she suddenly got a serious look on her face and I knew the peace was over.

"Listen, Alex, I know you don't want to but we need to talk. Seriously. Like adults"

 

I avoided looking her in the face. I knew she was right but I would've been perfectly content avoiding the topic forever.

"Just get it over with" I choked out.

"What do you mean?" She seemed genuinely confused.

"I know you want me gone after what I did. I can't even blame you"

Her expression softened.

 

"I don't want you gone, Marlowe. But things can't go on like this and you know that. There need to be some ground rules, or this is going to crash and burn faster than we can count to three"

I hated that she was right.

 

"What do you mean by ground rules? Am I in your care now, like a child?" I scoffed.

"Of course not. But we both need to deal with things differently. And that starts with you coming onto me whenever you are in an uncomfortable position" She raised both of her eyebrows, clearly referring to what I had done yesterday.

 

"It's not that I don't find you attractive, not even that I don't want to explore it but that kind of play, actually anything sexual does not belong in a situation with real negative emotions and real problems. I would be taking advantage of you and you would be taking advantage of both me and yourself. I will also never even start to engage in anything like that with you again before we have carefully negotiated everything about any potential dynamic that we could have.

Lastly, and most importantly: be honest with me. I promise to be honest with you too but you can't go dealing with everything on your own while I have to sit back and watch you throw your life away and get yourself in danger. I want to be here for you but I will not force you to open up to me, you're not a child. At the same time, I will also not be in the constant position of having to worry about what you might not have told me. Does that sound like a sensible agreement to you?"

 

I felt sick to my stomach. Not for a second had I even considered how inappropriate my act last night had been.

It wasn't only about me, Demi didn't deserve anything but complete honesty and respect and I had given her neither.

Swallowing hard, I nodded and looked up to meet her eyes.

There was no contempt in them, just sympathy and understanding.

 

"Yes Demi, of course. I apologize for how I have acted, I promise I won't lash out like that again"

She smiled at my response and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight.

 

"Good. Let's have a break today then. I think we could both use some fun and Dom is actually here to visit. I was thinking about going to a trampoline warehouse?"

I grinned at her suggestion.

"That sounds absolutely perfect!"

 

I would also have to use today to film what we were doing and edit all of the raw footage I still had.

Demis' manager had been asking about it and I could only come up with so many sensible excuses for why I wasn't doing my job properly.

 

We met Dom in front of the warehouse, he seemed a little off at first but then Demi challenged him to a race for the entrance and everything was normal again.

 

Inside, I did my best to stay alive and not break any bones while Demi and Dom seemed to be in a battle of proving they could do more outrageous stunts than the other.

Unfortunately for Dom, Demi had a huge advantage when it came to flexibility and swiftness, and most of the time he had no chance against her. I was glad I had taken my camera because I was sure she would appreciate watching all of this back.

 

After a while they started to playfully spar on one of the cushioned areas, really exaggerating and acting up each other's hits which was very entertaining.

I sat on the side and pretended to be a ref, except I had no idea about any of the rules so I just made up my own.

 

"STOP, Dom you can't twist Rhea's arm like that!" I had just shouted, breaking up a move that looked like it would've been hard for Demi to get out of.

"What?" he stared at me, confused, "why?"

 

"Because I really like the tattoos on that one, if you must do that at least take the other arm" I grinned.

My distraction had worked long enough for Demi to easily gain the upper hand. She performed something I could only describe as the family-friendly version of a riptide on him and I did the fastest count in the history of wrestling, declaring her the winner.

 

Dominik was pretending to be pissed about this and came over to me, looking as if he was about to fight me, but instead, he just grabbed the water bottle next to me and laughed.

"You two really are a menace together" he started gulping down water, screwed the bottle shut, and set it back down.

 

I turned around to Demi who was saying something I hadn't quite understood when I heard him gasp next to me.

"So I wasn't wrong. It is you" he exclaimed in a very strange tone I couldn't quite place.

 

"What do you mean Dom?" Demi had appeared next to him.

"I knew from the beginning that I had seen her before, I just couldn't place where and when. Dems, did you know that you are living with a con artist?"

Notes:

A/N:
I've had someone ask me for a playlist with the songs in this story so I made one, you can find it here:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0mAQWjuy3NtCkB4bspzaDw?si=f3132a66286041b3

Chapter 14: Chapter 14

You made a deal with the devil in a bloodbath

Now there's a price on your head, seal the contract

- Slaughterhouse by Motionless in White feat. Bryan Garris

 

"Dom, don't over-exaggerate please" Demi rolled her eyes but Dominik was basically foaming at the mouth.

"Exaggerating my ass. Your new roomie is the person responsible for Guadalupe's death" he spat and I gasped for air at this accusation.

"Listen, Dom, I do not know who Guadalupe is but I can promise you that I don't have anything to do with the death of any person" I assured him with a nervous glance to Demi. Did she believe this?

 

"Dominik" she started to try and reason with him.

"I know you're still very rattled about Lupe but Alex had nothing to do with that. She was just a kid back then"

Dominik took out his phone and scrolled through it for what felt like an eternity. Then, Demi's phone binged twice in her pocket, indicating a new message was incoming.

"There's your proof" he put his phone away. "Look at it and call me when you've figured out where your loyalties lie"

And with that, he was gone.

 

I was shaking uncontrollably, trying to grasp what had just happened but no matter how I spun it it didn't make any sense to me.

Demi took one look at the state I was in and took my hand to lead me out of the room.

"Come on, let's go somewhere quiet where we can talk"

All I could do was nod and follow her.

 

Not far from the trampoline place was a small park, surprisingly empty for this time of day.

"Are you okay?" She asked once we had settled down on a bench.

"Who is Guadalupe?"

She sighed.

 

"You know about Dominiks' uncle, Eddie?"

I nodded.

"He has this relative named Arturo. I don't know exactly how they were related but both him and his wife Guadalupe were very close friends of the Gutiérrez family"

"They are the Mysterios, right?"

 

"Exactly. However, Arturo ended up getting on the wrong path, somewhere along the way, he was a serious alcoholic and he started hanging around with very sketchy people, some even suspected some kind of gang affiliation. He was gone for days on end sometimes, Guadalupe was worried sick and no one could seem to help him. One night about three years ago when he returned he was with two men, no one knew who they were. Guadalupe was at a restaurant with Dom's dad, mother, and uncle and the three of them came in and started threatening them. I don't know how exactly it happened but one of the guys ended up stabbing Lupe and fleeing the scene with the other man. Arturo tried to save her life but it was too late."

 

"Where is Arturo now?" my voice was little more than a whisper.

"He never recovered. Last thing I know he was living with Eddie and hadn't said a word to anyone in ages" Demi shrugged.

 

"But why would Dominik think I had anything to do with that? I swear I have never even heard those names in my life" I could feel myself getting worked up and defensive again.

"I don't know. Do you want to look at his so-called 'evidence' or should I just delete it?" She asked.

I didn't want to look. I especially didn't want her to look. But I had to know.

"Please show me"

 

She nodded and unlocked her phone, handing it to me before looking at it herself which I was immensely grateful for.

On the screen there were two pictures, Dominik had written a short caption under the first one: These are the two men, the photo was taken at the bar.

When I looked at it, everything seemed to start spinning, I was certain I was going to pass out.

 

The photo clearly showed Xav and his friend Sullivan. Xav was the one holding the knife.

My eyes darted to the second picture and the feeling of dizziness intensified. This time, next to the two men was a young girl, she had her head turned to the site but the little, oddly shaped birthmark on her jawline left no doubts. This was me.

 

According to the clothes the men were wearing this photo had been taken the same night. I was affiliated with a murder and I hadn't even known about it for three years.

Apparently, Demi had realized that something was wrong and took her phone out of my hands, looking at it.

"Wait isn't that... and... oh my god" she was just as lost for words as I was.

This made my panic boil up again.

 

"Demi I swear I didn't know, you have to believe me I have done bad things but I would never, ever have agreed to be a part of this" I fought for my life, trying to make her believe me.

It turned out I didn't have to.

 

"I know" Her facial expression made it clear that she meant it.

"But do you know what this means? Xav is a murderer. And in his eyes, you have betrayed him. How am I supposed to keep you safe? How is anyone?" Her breathing had started to pick up.

 

Right now, I had to swallow my own anxiety and help her.

I did what she would usually do to me and hugged her tightly, bringing my lips up to her ear.

"I don't know yet, but we will figure it out. I will figure it out. I won't let him get to you..." I could sense her trying to argue that and continued before she could get a word in.

"...OR me, I promise. This will get resolved and you will not get caught in the crossfire" I could tell that she didn't believe me (I wasn't sure I believed myself) but I could still feel her relax a little bit.

 

"Can I make a request?" she asked.

"Anything"

"Please don't go back to your place. Stay with me I don't want you out there alone. I might even call Priest up to stay with us"

 

I hesitated for a second. My plan had been to get as far away from her as possible so I wouldn't put her in danger.

But wasn't it already too late for that? Xav knew who she was, she had threatened him for fucks sake.

So really I had no choice but to stay.

 

I nodded and could see a flash of relief in her eyes.

Chapter 15: Chapter 15

And I will take your fears

And make them disappear

- Mine by Halestorm

 

By some kind of miracle, Damian arrived the same night. 

He made us stop pacing around the apartment and sit down on the couch and proceeded to make dinner before joining us there.

There had been no questions asked when Demi made her emergency call to him but now that everything had quieted down a little he deserved an explanation.

Listening to Demi recount what happened I realized that there was an essential part of this story that I hadn't asked about.

"If Guadalupe was murdered in cold blood, how come the police didn't get involved?" I thought out loud.

"They did" Damian responded 

"But all they had to go off of were the blurry photos taken at the bar. There was never any identification made and eventually the case went cold."

My face went just as cold.

"So basically what you are saying is that I am currently the only person who could give this family at least a little bit of peace by reporting that I know who it is? I'm the only witness? Although I guess in this case I'm more of an accomplice" I concluded bitterly.

"Do not even start talking like that!" Demi intervened. 

"You were 20 years old, you were basically still a scared child"

"Actually back then I was still 19" I added as if that made it better in any way.

"If you go to the police then you are setting yourself up to be arrested as well. I'm not letting you do that, it was not your fault" The Australian argued.

"Girls" Damian's voice was calm and clear. 

"This is not a topic for tonight. You've had a long day, we can talk about this tomorrow. Let's go to bed for now. Do you mind if I stay on your couch Demi, I didn't book a hotel" he said sheepishly.

"Actually why don't you stay in the guest bedroom, I'm sleeping with Demi anyway" I replied without thinking, causing Damian to let out a knowing chuckle and my face to go bright red.

He disappeared into the guest bedroom and Demi and I in hers.

As we were laying in the dark not long after, I noticed that she couldn't sleep as well.

I turned to face her and trailed my fingertips down her arm, lost in thought. She turned around to me as well, looking into my eyes for a long moment.

"Would you mind if I kissed you right now?" her question came as a surprise to me but of course, I shook my head.

She leaned in slowly, her lips touching mine, only grazing them at first but then with more intent. Her hand softly wrapped around my jaw as she brought my face into a more accessible position. 

When her tongue lightly licked over my lower lip, asking for entrance, I let out a small whimper.

Demi immediately pulled back, worry flashing over her face.

"I'm sorry, was that too much?" I shook my head.

"Demi... I know that you wanted to talk first and that this is still kind of an emotional moment but... if you want this too... I kind of need you right now" My rambling barely made sense to me but she seemed to understand it.

"Alexandria," she said softly "this, right now, is perfect. I feel like you are able to openly communicate with me, you are not trying to make me angry to get what you want. If you feel like it I would be happy to go on"She didn't lean back in, waiting for my response. 

I just put my hands on her shoulders to pull myself closer, kissing her again.

This kiss was deeper and more passionate than the first one. We were getting more confident, playful.

I had inched so close to her that I was almost on top of her and she grabbed me by the hips and pulled me up gently, leaving me straddling her.

All I could do for a moment was look at her. Her face in the faint light coming from the street lanterns outside, her perfectly smooth skin in the little pajama top she was wearing. Everything about her was absolutely divine. 

Shortly after, she decided I had had my moment to stare and sat up, grabbing my ass tightly so I would stay in position. Then she proceeded to take off her top, then mine.

I kissed her again, pressing my body as close to hers as I could, skin melting into skin. Her hands were roaming over my body, scratching lightly and leaving me with chills. 

Demi broke the kiss to explore my neck with her mouth, nibbling and sucking lightly, delighted to see how I was reacting to it. Getting bolder, she started to bite more intently, it was the most mesmerizing feeling I had ever felt, especially combined with the stark contrast of her soft hands. 

I knew that she was leaving marks but that only made it more exhilarating. The noises I was making seemed to encourage her not to hold back, she was now holding my head in place with her hands while continuing to bite down my collarbones and chest, making me go crazy with desire.

My orgasm came as a surprise to both of us, I was still straddling her lap, shuddering and moaning her name through it as she gently held me, still sucking on my neck.

When I had come back down from it she took my shoulders and pushed me back a little so she could look at me.

"So that's how it is, huh?" She asked with an amused grin. Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I buried my face in her neck, but she was having none of it.

Instead, she turned us around in one swift motion so that I was now lying on my back underneath her, Demi hovering over me.

"That" she whispered, her lips so close to my ear that they were touching it "was the single most sexy thing I have ever seen in my life"

 

Chapter 16: Chapter 16

All that happens in your life 

doesn't happen for a reason

it's all the choices that you make

- Alone by Of Virtue

 

"Will you at least hear her out?... No, she's not... Damn it Dominik sometimes you're as stubborn as a fucking donkey... Dom? Dominik" 

Demi was or had been on the phone with Dominik, trying to reason with him.

I had told her not to, he had every right to be upset and furious at me, I would be too if I was in his position.

Damian had called Finn so he would meet up with Dom to make sure he was safe and that he knew that they weren't trying to cast him out by him and Demi staying with me.

My brain was working overtime, I had spent all morning finishing up the videos and starting to upload them but it felt surreal.

The video I had just posted showed Demi and me, working out in the Atlanta gym and it felt like that was another lifetime. 

I would have to carefully consider if I would even post the one from the trampoline warehouse because it felt disrespectful to Dom.

Even though I had been working nonstop since I woke up, it didn't manage to distract me from the issue at hand.

I had to go to the police. I couldn't imagine being Dominik's family, and especially Arturo who was suffering so terribly.

The only reason I had not to go was a selfish one.

Was my freedom more important than the Gutiérrez family and Arturo's peace of mind? A rhetorical question with a very clear answer: It wasn't.

I had made my mistakes, yes I had been groomed to do so and I had felt like I had no choice. But whether I had known about it or not, I had been a complicit part of Xav's game. Demi had noticed me staring at the wall and came over to sit with me.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"I should have known, Demi. There must have been some way for me to know." I didn't dare to look at her.

She scoffed, we had had this conversation a million times since last night.

But this time she delivered a new, very low, blow.

"Did you know about your mother?"I blinked.

"What?" 

"Your mother. Did you know he was trying to kill her?" The question was cold and determined.

"I don't think he was really..."

"GOD ALEX, how naive can you be?" I winced at her sudden outburst of anger.

But Demi wasn't finished.

"Do you really think that he didn't plan this? Think he just spontaneously came up with the idea for you to work alongside him because your mother happened to die from the drugs he happened to sell her? That's bullshit Alex, and you know it, you're just looking for reasons to blame yourself because that's what you've been hardwired to do"I opened my mouth to answer but all that came out was a dry sob.

Out. I needed to get out of here. Within the blink of an eye, I had left the room, barricading myself in the bathroom until further notice.

"Was that really necessary?" I heard the deep voice of Damian from the other room.

There was an unintelligible answer and some strange sounds until I realized that Demi was crying.

Immediately I felt ten times worse. I had done this. The person who had brought all of them into this fucked up situation was me.

Demi, Damian, Dominik, they all would be safe if I had stayed out of their lives.

My decision was clear at that very moment. 

I wasn't going to sit here and wait for better times to come. It didn't matter where I ended up, these people deserved better than this. Dom and Demi were supposed to be the perfect team with an unbreakable bond, I had broken that up.

Damian had dropped everything to come here and protect us from a situation I had brought about. But would going to the police really change anything? What if they didn't believe me, or didn't follow through or, god forbid, what if they picked up Xav and have to let him go again?

Though Demi had said something else earlier, I wasn't naive enough to believe that there wouldn't be bias against this case and this wasn't the situation to risk that.

I really only had one choice.

Pulling myself together at least a little bit, I returned to the living room. Demi pulled me into a hug the second she saw me and apologized, and so did I.

We spent a good while cuddled up on the couch, all three of us and the dogs. No one knew what to say so it was silent. That's how it was for the majority of the day.

Demi was doom-scrolling on her phone, which was something she never did, Damian was reading a book on Gōjū-ryū Karate and I was pretending to work on my laptop.

We went to bed early because all of us were exhausted and Demi fell asleep pretty much instantly. 

I waited a little while before I got up and gathered my bag from the corner of the room. I didn't make an effort to collect all of my things, it didn't really matter anyway.

Fighting the urge to give her one last kiss because I didn't want to wake her, I looked at the sleeping Australian, beautiful as ever.

I hated doing this, especially because I had promised to never do it again. But I placed my note on her bedside table and silently closed the door behind me as I left.

 

Demi,

I'm sorry I have to leave like this but I want you to know that I'm doing it to protect you and your family. 

You didn't deserve any of this and since I'm the one who got you into this I'm getting you out of it now.  Tell Dominik that I will forever be sorry for everything that happened to him and everyone else, I hope you find together again, you are amazing together.

This next thing is selfish of me, and I know that it's uncalled for and too early and everything else but since this is goodbye I need you to know that I love you. I love you so much. You are the most unbelievable, enthralling person I have ever met and I hope you find all the happiness in the world. I wish things could be different. I wish I had a chance to try and be that for you.

But I need to go own up to the shit that I have done and this is the only way I know how to do it. I'm gonna give him what he wants.

Love,

Alex

Chapter 17: Chapter 17

From the games you play or the lies you make

I won't break 

From the hate displayed, dripping off your face

- I Won't Break by Of Virtue

 

Demi's POV

Damian stared at the piece of paper in front of him, slightly crumpled from my first reaction to it.

"What does she mean by that?" He sounded as overwhelmed as I felt.

"I don't know"

"Surely she wouldn't just go back to him"

"I DON'T KNOW MATE, unfortunately, she didn't include an Alex-Encyclopedia with this stupid letter that I could use to look it up" I yelled, only to regretting a second later.

"I'm sorry Luis, I don't really know how to act right now" 

He hugged me as a sign that he accepted my apology.

"I know Dems, I get it" he started stroking my hair, knowing that that was what my dad had always done to calm me down when I was upset as a kid. It worked, at least a little bit.

We sat down to strategize.

"She couldn't just have gone back to him, you're right," I admitted.

"He would just go back to doing whatever he has been doing all along and it wouldn't change anything"

Damian shook his head.

"That's only partially true. If it's her goal to protect you, then giving him back what he wants would maybe get him to leave you alone"

"It wouldn't change anything for Dom though. I don't think her goal is just to prevent, she wants to make up for this, I just don't have a clue on how she's planning to do that" I started rubbing my temples, my head was starting to hurt.

"Maybe she's going to the police after all" Damian offered.

"But what would the point be? She didn't have any better chances, there's still not enough evidence" Suddenly my stomach dropped, I could feel my skin getting hot and cold at the same time and my breathing picked up rapidly as I considered the one thing I hadn't thought of so far.

"Damian" I choked out "what if she isn't planning on getting him caught for the murder of Lupe? What if she's trying to create some new evidence, for a new crime that is more open and shut?"

He thought about it for a moment.

"You mean she would get him to commit a crime under different circumstances that are easier to prove to get him caught whether it's for Lupe's murder or not?"

I nodded.

"Do you think she knows the danger that puts her in?" he asked.

I gave him a defeated shrug.

"Honestly I'm not sure she cares" 

We were silent for a minute before I looked back up at him.

"Luis, I understand if you're out, I would never want to put you in danger, but please understand that I need to go find her"I wasn't surprised when he vigorously shook his head.

"I'm not a fan of that idea and I think you know it but if you are going I'm coming with you. Figuring out where Xav could be proved more difficult than expected. He obviously wasn't just linked on any of her social media but there was no trace of him to be found anywhere. After a lot of pointless research, I let my laptop snap shut and looked at Damian.

"Let's go to her apartment, maybe there's something there." 

We got in the car to drive there and I fortunately could remember where it was.

"What the hell happened here?" Damian asked as he saw the smashed lock on her door. I shrugged.

"Xav has gotten into here before, although he had a key. Maybe this time he was too impatient"

When I tried to squeeze past him into the apartment he put out an arm to stop me and shook his head.

"Whether you like it or not, I'm going first." I rolled my eyes but let him pass.

A few moments later he gave me the all-clear and I followed him. Alex's apartment looked like it had become the hangout space for a group of teenage boys. The walls were tagged even more as last time, there were empty beer cans all over the place and it smelled like cigarettes. How the landlord hadn't gotten involved by now was beyond me but it didn't fully surprise me given the state that the rest of the building was in.

Going through her things felt awful, we were clearly invading her privacy, but of course, she didn't just have a note with Xav's address lying around.

As I was sifting through a box labeled 'Memories' in her living room, I came across a wall calendar from last year.I smiled as I noticed the calendar theme, Koalas, and began to flip through it.

This turned out to be at least of some help, since two times every week there was a name written in the calendar and circled in red.

Ares.

"Maybe if we can find out who Ares is he'll lead us to Xav" I theorized.

Damian frowned and went over to one of the piles of paper on the kitchen counter he had been looking through until a moment ago.

Just as he was starting to get frustrated he let out a triumphant 'ha' and pulled a little brochure out of the middle of the pile.

Returning to me, he held it up proudly.

"Well if we are looking for the god of war I think I know where we should start looking"

Instead of reading the flyer I stared at him with my eyebrows raised.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I wouldn't have pegged you as a Greek mythology nerd Mr. Martinez" 

He gave me a light shove in retaliation.

"Shut up and read" He handed the brochure over to me.

The little booklet was advertising some kind of bar in the area, but that wasn't the interesting thing about it. What caught my eye was the name of the establishment at the top of the page.

It said: The Olymp

Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Leaving the past to the grave 

so we can reincarnate

- Reincarnate by Motionless in White

 

Apart from the name that was spelled on the front of the establishment in neon letters (except it said Te Oymp instead of The Olymp because whoever had put them up there hadn't bothered maintaining them and some had gone dark), the building we were standing in front of had little to no similarity with the one on the brochure in my hand.

The paint on the outside walls was coming off in flakes, the windows were so dirty you could barely see through them and one of them had apparently been broken into and then patched up with cardboard and duct tape.

We had come here straight from Alex's apartment but now that we had arrived neither of us had a plan on what to do next.

"We can't just walk in there without knowing what exactly we are going to do" Damian stated the obvious.

I thought about that for a second.

"Actually, I can't just walk in there. You can. Here, take this off" I pulled on the sleeve of his fancy leather jacket.

"Why?" he shook off my hand.

"Because that thing costs more than my rent and I don't want you to get robbed, now give it to me" He did, along with the silver cross necklace he was wearing. 

Now his outfit consisted of black ripped jeans and a white T-Shirt. The leather dress shoes weren't ideal but they would have to do.

"Alright, so what am I supposed to do once I am in there?" he wanted to know.

"Just blend in. Order a drink, sit in a corner somewhere, and pay attention to your surroundings." I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my gallery until I found the photo of Xav and the guy Alex had called Sullivan.

"This is what the guys look like, their names are Xav and Sullivan. Just try and find out something, I will wait here for you and watch the outside" I assured him.

He nodded and disappeared into the bar.

A garbage container on the other side of the road was standing conveniently placed in a corner, leaving a small space between a wall and the container, making it the perfect hiding place.

I crouched down in the space, tried not to think about the fact that I was literally huddled up by the trash, and kept my eyes locked on the opposite building.

It was almost impossible to see what was going on inside of the bar but I could make out Damian entering and sitting down at the bar, talking to a girl who was bartending despite barely looking old enough to even drink alcohol.

From my angle, I could only see the counter, not the rest of the room, but Damian seemed to be very intently watching something going on on the other side of the room, still continuing his conversation with the bartender.

After a while, he finished his drink, paid, and returned to me.

"They weren't there, at least not in the main room but I heard two guys talking in the back, I'm pretty sure one of them mentioned someone named Xav in the apartment above the bar. The girl at the bar, Lilly, who by the way is totally underage said that there was a private gathering being hosted there by a friend of the owner of the bar every couple of days. He also seems to live there right now but she wasn't sure" He reported.

"Okay, so if we piece this together then Xav is running his little gambling organization from there and he's holding Alex there to help him" I concluded.

"You don't know that Demi. We have no space for mistakes here, everything we do from now on needs to be calculated"

I nodded begrudgingly. My impulse was to storm the building, look through every room and get Alex out of there if it was the last thing I ever did. But he was right, I would be risking way too much.

"We need to get Dom and Finn involved" he added, which I protested immediately.

"Didn't you hear Dom on the phone? He would never agree to that"

Damian wasn't phased by my impulsive reaction.

"Finn talked to him, and I did too. Dominik is not unreasonable, you know that but this was a lot for him to process. He is willing to hear you out but you need to give him space to feel the emotions he understandably has regarding all of this."

"Okay," I finally agreed. "Are we gonna meet them at Dominik's hotel?" Damian shook his head, grinning.

"Nope, we are meeting them at the gym."

"At the gym? Damian it's 10 pm." I reminded him.

"Good thing it's open 24/7. You have been completely wired all day and if you don't get some of this nervous energy out of your system you are going to do something stupid. And you won't be able to have any kind of sensible conversation. So let's go" He placed his hand on my shoulder and walked me to the car.

"I'm gonna have to stop by my place and get some gym clothes" I argued.

"No, you won't, your stuff is in the trunk." He had planned this. I wasn't sure whether I was pissed or impressed.

We got to the gym and I suddenly couldn't wait to get started. I got changed much faster than him but when I went into the main room I got distracted by the floor-length mirror.

"Stop it" a voice next to me suddenly said. I hadn't even seen Dominik approach me in the mirror, I had been too focused on squeezing at my stomach.

"Stop what?" I turned to him.

"Picking on yourself. You do that when you're stressed, you obsess over your body and you don't notice it but you can spend literal hours bodychecking and your mental state gets worse with every second you do it. Please don't do that to yourself, Demi. I'm so sorry for leaving" 

His voice was quiet and tired.

Instead of replying I gathered him in a hug and couldn't stop the tears from falling as I felt his familiar warmth and smelt the faint scent of his shampoo.

"She's gone, Dom" I sobbed in his shirt.

"I know, Mami" he replied, "But we will get her back".

 

Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Notes:

A/N: This chapter includes pretty graphic depictions of violence and drug abuse, read at your own risk, this is your trigger warning.

Hanging on by the strings that you're pulling 

So you cut me down just to push me around

- Punching Bag by Set It Off

 

Alex's POV

 

"Will you at least take off these ridiculous handcuffs?" I rattled the metal around my wrist against the bedframe.

Xav had seen one too many episodes of Law and Order SVU.

"So you can go sneaking around and sell me out to the police? Try again baby" his laugh sounded creaky and his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the wall.

"What good am I going to be for you when you keep me tied up here? I won't be able to work the tables in handcuffs, that would look a tiny bit suspicious don't you think?"

He ignored me and went back to frantically typing on his phone.

Something was bothering him, making him nervous. That was a good thing. 

I had known Xav long enough to know that when he was nervous he tended to get sloppy with everything that he did.

And I really needed him to get sloppy.

The plan I had made hadn't worked. I had counted on him taking me back without question, I didn't think he'd actually be smart enough to figure out I was trying to expose him so now I had to improvise. 

He had tied up both of my wrists and ankles to the four bedposts with one pair of handcuffs each, which was complete overkill if you asked me.

But I reckoned he just really wanted to see me tied to this bed spread-eagle with no question about the practicality of it.

Funnily enough, if it was Demi who did this to me I would have thanked her. I shook my head, trying to physically get rid of the thought of her. If I got emotional now I would get sloppy too and that could be deadly in my current position. 

It was impossible to tell what time it was but I was pretty sure that tonight's gambling event had already started. They were still setting up a few of the tables, some of the guys still downstairs in the bar as if getting drunk was a smart move for them, so the main events hadn't started yet. 

Xav always picked the groups he wanted to con very carefully.

The original plan had been to unsuspiciously expose him (and with that myself) as a grifter during the game. If I was lucky enough there was some rich guy with fancy lawyers there who would take care of this for me and all I'd have to do was tell the truth to the police and the court.

But now that I could feel how closely Xav was watching me, waiting for me to do just that I realized that this plan wasn't just risky, it was simply unrealistic.

Really there was only one thing about him I could use to my advantage, something I was very adept at utilizing.

And that was his anger.

This wouldn't end well for me, I knew that, but I had made up my mind and I wanted to help Dominik and Demi, whatever the cost.

I took a deep breath and put on the most bratty facial expression I could muster given the circumstances.

"Who are you texting Xav? Is it your Ex again? Does she have a new guy?" This was a sore spot for him. He had worshipped his Ex-Girlfriend Nadya in a way I had never seen before and never got over it when she left him.

To my surprise, he merely chuckled at my commentary and didn't respond at all.

Fuck.

My next move was a very desperate one but I couldn't think of anything else right now. Once again breathing in deeply, I let out the most high-pitched and long scream I ever had.

I tried to make sure that the entire neighborhood could hear me. 

"What the fuck? Shut up you little piece of shit" I had finally gotten his attention. He rushed over to the bed and pressed his palm on my mouth to shut me up.

I reacted within seconds, biting his hand as hard as I could. He didn't even flinch and instead took out his phone to call someone.

"Yeah, it's me. You've gotta come now we have to do this sooner than planned... Okay, see you" he hung up and returned his attention to me.

"Listen here you disgusting little skank. You have fucked with me one too many times but this ends tonight, once and for all. Just remember, when you don't have a free will of your own anymore, that you've had this coming a long time"

He turned around and got up when the door opened and Sullivan stepped into the room. They talked for a moment by the door, so quietly that I couldn't hear them and then Sullivan stepped closer to the bed.

Before I could process any of it, he had pressed his hand in my face as well, only leaving a tiny bit of space on my nose and causing me to breathe in through said nose in surprise and shock.

The second I had taken that breath I realized my mistake. There was something in his hand, I didn't know what it was but I had just inhaled it.

Suddenly I was in the room alone, hearing them have a hushed conversation in the hallway.

My body was starting to feel strange. My head hurt and I was getting dizzy.

Water, I needed water.

I tried to call out for someone but my mouth was so dry that it was impossible.

My mind was panicking but my body seemed to get more and more relaxed, despite my heart rate steadily going up. I was surrounded by warm cotton, floating in space and no longer in control of my limbs, they had completely detached themselves from my body.

Someone entered the room, I couldn't see who it was because my eyes had gone blurry. There were some strange clicking sounds, and the painful sensation on my wrists and ankles lightened.

"Get up!" a voice said through the cotton.

I wanted to scream at them that I was fucking trying but I couldn't do either.

"Get the fuck up!" the voice was screaming now.

"You goddamn idiot, you said this would work. What the fuck are we supposed to do with her like this? She's completely fucking out of it"

"I did exactly what my contact told me to do, it's not my fault she's reacting weirdly. Just get her on her feet she'll be fine"

Hands grabbed me, heaving me up like a sack of potatoes, once they had gotten me up they dropped me, letting me fall to the floor. 

My body still wasn't responding. 

"FUCK" one of the voices had gotten a little impatient. 

I felt something hard hitting my ribcage. Again and again.

The more the person worked themselves up the more blows came, they were uncomfortable but I could hardly focus on the pain while trying to stay awake.

Far, far away, there was a commotion.

"Wait, I'm going to go see what that's about" one of the voices left as the other person proceeded to kick me.

I could taste blood.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" they sounded irritated.

Then, suddenly there was a third voice, much different from the other ones.

"Take it off"

"What?" the first voice didn't seem to be very smart.

"Your hand. It's currently in a place where it doesn't belong and I would advise you to remove it from my body before I remove it from yours"

They argued for a moment before a door was pushed open and it sounded like multiple people rushing in.

At this moment I finally lost consciousness.

Chapter 20: Chapter 20

But I hate that it seems you were never enough

We were broken and bleeding but never gave up

- Another Life by Motionless in White

 

There was a strange taste in my mouth. 

In fact, it felt like my tongue was twice the size it was supposed to be and weirdly numb.

I tried to open my eyes but the bright lights around me instantly gave me a splitting headache.

"Ouch." I whimpered.

"Alex?" I tried to figure out where the voice was coming from but I still couldn't see anything and the room seemed to be spinning.

I gave it one more try and slowly started to be able to make out shapes around me. 

The voice was coming from my right side, and after focusing on it for a moment I could see the person sitting next to me. It was Dominik.

"Dom..." I tried to form a question but my voice was raspy with almost no sound coming out.

"Shh... Don't try to talk just yet" He soothed me.

Why did he soothe me? Why was he here? Where was here?

"aaat happnd?" I tried again, with little more success than before but he seemed to understand me anyway.

He sighed.

"Demi wanted to wait to tell you but I feel that you deserve to know what happened to you. Damian and Finn basically carried her out of here to get some food into her and they will be gone for a little while. Would you like me to tell you or would you like to wait for her?"

"you" I replied. I wasn't sure if I could handle it to make Demi recount whatever had happened.

"Okay, first of all, you are in the hospital. You are stable now but according to the Doctors, it was a close call. Do you remember being with Xav in his apartment?"

My head did something that I hoped could be identified as a nod.

"That night, Finn and I met Demi and Damian at the gym. They had been in your apartment earlier, trying to look for something that could tell them where you were and somehow they ended up finding the bar under the apartment. 

Damian went in there and heard some people talking about Xav and something he was hosting upstairs but that's all he could make out. When I met her in the gym, Demi was beside herself. I had never seen her like this so I decided we had to do something immediately. 

So we went back to the bar and the girl who was bartending actually let us go upstairs. There was some kind of gambling situation going on and most of the people left head over heels when they realized we weren't part of it, I think they believed we were some kind of undercover task force. 

This Sullivan guy came out of the room and tried to physically restrain Demi which didn't go over well with his left arm and that's when Damian called the police. 

At the same time, Demi had gotten into the room you were in and found you on the floor, unconscious. Xav was kicking you into a bloody pulp like you seriously don't want to see your face right now, and you were having cold sweats shaking uncontrollably like you were having some kind of seizure. 

So Damian restrained Xav and Finn restrained Demi so she didn't kill Xav and then the cops got there pretty quickly with an ambulance that took you here. 

We all had to go to the precinct to make a statement before we were allowed to come to see you and when we got here the doctors explained that these guys had given you a drug called Scopolamine. 

Apparently, there are urban legends about it that it can make people compliant with whatever you want and basically turn them into your puppets but in reality, in most cases, it will completely knock you out and give you horrible physical symptoms which is what happened to you. 

This is the short version of things but now I really need to call in the nurses before they eat me alive. Is that okay with you?" 

I nodded. I was so tired that I could have gone right back to sleep but I had a feeling that would worry him so I forced myself to keep my head up and my eyes open. 

He pressed the button next to the bed and moments later two nurses came rushing in. 

They asked me all kinds of questions and I tried my best to answer them with the little amount of vocal strength I had.

I was saved by the bell when they were abruptly interrupted by a force of nature, rushing into the room and almost taking Dominik's head straight off. 

"What the hell happened? Did something go wrong? Why didn't you call me?"

"Emie" I interrupted the questions she was firing at Dom and she turned to me, shocked.

"Oh my god, you're awake" Suddenly her arms were wrapped around me, sending a warm feeling through my body but also making me wince in pain.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you" Demi immediately let me go.

"s'okay" I smiled. Or at least I hoped I did.

"Oh sweet girl" She gave me the most gentle forehead kiss in the history of forehead kisses, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Never do that to me again"

I shook my head. I was so tired. I had to sleep, my eyes wouldn't stay open any longer. 

I reached out my hand to signal that I wanted her to hold it, which she did. Then I closed my eyes and fell back asleep.

Soft voices woke me a while later but I didn't move, I wasn't ready for the light yet."They got him for this, he's never getting out. But this is your choice, Dom, I won't try to tell you what to do."

"No. I talked to Eddie and my parents. They were appalled that I ever even considered it. She didn't do anything wrong, at least not intentionally. She shouldn't have to suffer for the rest of her life for what that asshole did to her. So no, I won't be turning her in. Especially not after seeing what she means to you"

"Thank you Dominik" There was some rustling and I was pretty sure they were hugging. 

I opened my eyes to look at them, trying to convey all the gratefulness and love I had for them. I couldn't speak still, but I could see from Dominik's expression that he understood.

The fallout from this wasn't over but for now, everything was okay.

 

Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Couldn't chain me down,

Couldn't cage me in

So keep your savior,

give me back my sins

- Back From The Dead by Halestorm

 

"Ready to go?" Damian threw the strap of my bag over his shoulder and Demi put her arm around my waist.

"Yes"

And was I ever. Two weeks in the hospital had been more than enough. It had taken three days until the effects of the Scopolamine wore off completely and I could move again. 

Being able to actually speak again took three more. 

I had a couple of broken ribs, a broken nose, a concussion, and some pretty nasty bruises but all in all I had been very lucky.

There had been a lot of communication with the police which, amongst other things, had luckily resulted in me getting out of my lease without my landlord suing me for the damages to the apartment, it would be part of the court case against Xav.

This also meant that I was moving in with Demi full-time, at least for now. Realistically I would've had to do that anyway because she didn't let me out of her sight. 

In the hospital, she had at least left to shower, occasionally sleep and eat and train (at my insistence) but I had a feeling it would get a little more complicated than that at home. 

As for my job, it had looked a little rocky at first but since Demi had the ability to be very convincing she somehow managed to get her manager to let me keep it, and even to pay out my boss at the agency for my contract so now I only had to answer to her team.

After what felt like the longest drive of my life we finally arrived home and Demi, for some reason, was ecstatic to be able to show me the guest room.

She let me open the door and I almost burst into tears. One of the guys must have gone back to my apartment and packed up everything that was salvageable. 

The guest room was redecorated with my things and stuff that matched them perfectly.

It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for me.

"Now, this doesn't mean I'm kicking you out of my room, or my bed" Demi quickly emphasized. "I just wanted you to have your own space where you could go if you needed a break from everything, including me"

I couldn't give her a verbal response. I just stepped into her arms and let her give me a hug.

We had dinner with Damian who had to go back home today. Demi had been given some time off work but the guys still had gone to events in the meantime and I was sure he was exhausted from the amount of traveling he had to do. 

We took a photo together to send to the TJD group chat and then he was on his way, insisting we didn't drive him to the airport.

Demi and I decided to have a movie night in her bedroom so we could have more space to cuddle with the dogs.

This had been what I had missed the most in the time I was away. Demi was sitting with her back against the headboard and I was splayed over her legs, letting her play with my hair. 

"What are you thinking about?" she had noticed that I wasn't looking at the TV anymore.

I shifted to lie on my back so I could see her face.

"Are you really okay with this?" I asked.

"Of course I am, haven't I made that clear? I want this" There was genuine disbelief in her voice as though she couldn't think of a reason why I would even ask that. 

"I just want to make sure you know that you are not obligated to do this. You are allowed to change your mind if it doesn't feel right anymore" My voice sounded smaller than I had intended.

"Oh Alex" she chuckled quietly "everything is good now. You're back. We're together. I wouldn't want it any other way."

She wasn't just saying this for the sake of peace. In her voice sounded so much confidence that it immediately calmed me down. 

I took hold of the collar of her shirt and pulled her down to kiss me. 

Due to the way she was sitting it was probably the most uncomfortable kiss in her life but when I tried to let her back up she took my face in her hands and held me there until she decided she wanted to let go.

I grinned at her with absolute giddiness.

"So I see that hasn't changed" 

She put on her I-Am-Rhea-Ripley-And-This-Is-Me-Mocking-You face (which is the scientific name for it).

"Never" Then she tapped my shoulder to get off her legs.

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth, it's getting late and I think we should go to bed. I have a new training plan to start tomorrow, I really need to get back in shape" 

I rolled my eyes at her as she got up.

"Like you've ever been out of shape"

She just stuck out her tongue and disappeared into the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later all of us, including the pets, were cuddled up in bed, and I felt as safe as I hadn't in a long time.

I fell asleep to Demi stroking my side as her arm was draped over my stomach.

That same arm was also what was missing when I woke up. Demi wasn't there.

At first, I thought I had overslept but a look at my phone told me that it was 3 am.

"Demi?" I groaned as I peeled myself out of the duvet to go look for her.

There was a strange clunking noise coming from outside the room.

"Demi?!" I called out louder, more urgently. 

Had something happened to her?

I rushed out of the bedroom only to walk straight into her arms.

"Hey, hey, everything is fine, I just got up to get a glass of water I was getting a little warm" she explained in a hushed voice.

Her skin did feel a little sticky from sweat and I immediately felt bad.

"I'm so sorry I tend to heat up a little while I sleep. You can just push me to the side a little next time, I won't notice" She laughed quietly.

"I would never. You are way too adorable when you sleep."

And with that, she led me back to the bedroom where, I once again, fell asleep in her arms.

Chapter 22: Chapter 22

I don't want this fucking codependent vice,

but desperate measures call for desperate lies

- Disguise by Motionless in White

 

Demi hadn't been kidding when she was talking about that new training plan.

When I woke up at six thirty am, I found her in the living room with a jump rope, getting some cardio in before she had even gotten to the gym.

"Oh good, you're awake!" She said, out of breath.

"Do you think you could be ready in 30?" putting the rope to the side she pulled me in to give me a kiss.

"Sure, wouldn't want you to get bored" I laughed, earning an unamused look.

When I walked out of the bedroom with my gym bag 30 minutes later she was already waiting at the door.

"Hey, do you have a plan for lunch?" I yelled after her. 

"Nope," she said popping the p, already halfway out the door "No time"

"No time my ass" I muttered while charging after her and handing her the lunch I had made earlier, perfectly ready in a to-go container. No excuses possible. 

"What would I do without you?" She gave me a sarcastic grin. 

"Starve" I answered without missing a beat.

Today was a work day for me, I was obviously way behind on videos so whether she liked it or not, every single thing Demi did today was getting filmed.

"What's the plan for today?" I asked her when she stepped out of the locker room.

She took a quick glance at the notebook in her hand.

"Cardio, arms, back, abs, shoulders, cardio again, and then some sparring practice" she read from the page.

"What?" Demi added when she noticed I was staring at her.

"You really don't waste any time do you?" I didn't know whether I found this funny or concerning.

Demi, however, just chuckled and made her way over to the stair master.

For the next thirty minutes, Demi was demolishing her legs while I was sitting next to her on a vacant stair master, filming.

At first, Demi had told me to stop because this wasn't interesting for anyone to watch so I had taken that as a challenge to make it interesting. 

"Hey Dems, what's Gordon Ramsay's favorite wrestling show?"

She tried not to look at me, gritting her teeth.

"I don't know love, but I have a feeling you are going to tell me whether I like it or not" she panted.

"It's fucking RAW" I replied.

"I hope for your sake that you found these online and didn't come up with them yourself because what the fuck" 

"Did you know that no wrestling event is ever sold out?" I ignored her comment.

"Yes, 'cause they always have some extra seats under the ring" she sighed. 

"Can you find a new hobby now, Alex?"

"Did you know that Bianca got lost in a snowstorm last year? It was okay though, they tracked her down, just had to follow the fresh prints of Belair"

"I SWEAR TO GOD ALEX SHUT UP"

"Which wrestler never leaves the gym?" I asked, cracking up at her annoyance.

"Mat." Said a deep voice behind me. 

We both turned around to see Buddy Matthews leaning against one of the treadmills. 

"Matt, thank god you're here" Demi got off the stair master and threw up her hands as though she was praying to some kind of god.

"This woman is driving me nuts right now, so there's been a change in the schedule. Weights can wait, we're sparring now"She stuck out her tongue to me, grabbed his arm, and pulled him in the direction of the practice ring.

"How does Asuka produce that green mist?" I yelled after them.

"I don't know" Matt turned around "but she'll probably tell you if you just Asuka"

Damn, he was better at this than I was. 

I locked my phone that I had been using to look up these wrestling horrible dad jokes (it was surprising that you could pretty much find a Twitter account for absolutely everything), and followed them.

What ensued in the ring for the next hour was peak content that I couldn't wait to edit.

It was honestly a shame that WWE wouldn't let Demi wrestle men because seeing the big, strong Buddy Matthews be outsmarted by her really was a sight to see.

They trained some specific moves and then had a playful practice match that ended in a tie.

Afterward, they started doing weights, Demi tried to annoy Matt by picking the highest weights possible for her which drove him to a very entertaining state of competitiveness. 

Before I knew it it was 10 am. 

We had been at the gym for three hours but Demi didn't seem like she was even close to finished with her workout.

After Matt had left because he had an appointment, she got back on the stair master.

"Don't you think it's enough for the day?" I asked. 

"I still have to do abs and back, and I'm only done with half of my cardio" she shrugged.

"Okay, well I'm gonna get a drink, do you want anything?" I smiled at her.

"No thank you" came the response. I walked over to the vending machine and got a diet coke for me and a Gatorade for Demi.

I brought her the beverage, earning a stern look, and then sat down in the lounging area with my laptop to start editing the video. 

The next time I looked at the time it was 1 pm and Demi was nowhere to be seen. 

I waited for a moment to find her walking out of the locker room, hair still wet from the shower and wearing sweatpants with a sports bra that displayed her abs in a way that made me stare at them for a little too long.

"Take a picture it'll last longer" Demi leaned down to give me a kiss.

Without hesitation, I took out my phone and took a photo of her midriff.

"Weirdo" she playfully smacked the back of my head.

"Your idea" I grinned.

"Let's go home" she responded and took my hand to help me up.

"Did you have your lunch? Was it okay?" I wanted to know.

"I did. Thank you love, it was perfect"

Demi waited for me to pack up my equipment and we were on our way home.

The rest of the day was spent with the dogs in the park, Demi was running and jumping around with them like a little kid, I swore that woman had the energy of three toddlers in her, and I watched and took some more videos of her, mostly because I wanted to be able to watch it back.

Seeing her like that made me so, so happy.

Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Every time I try to get a little closer

You shut down and the conversations over

I'm right here but you leave me in the dark

- Private Parts by Halestorm

 

"Am I that boring?" I put in my best effort to sound like I was joking but the truth was that I was irritated.

We'd been sat at the table, having dinner for not even ten minutes and I was already the only one of us who seemed to be present.

Demi had checked her Apple watch five times in that time frame.

"Oh god, no I'm so sorry" she looked up at me with wide eyes.

"There's this setting that really bothers me and I can't get it to go away."

"Want me to take a look at it?" My voice softened.

"No that's fine, I'm sure I'll figure it out later" She smiled and took my hand.

"I'm really sorry love, I'll make it up to you"

"Oh really" My eyebrows almost disappeared into my hairline.

"And just how are you going to do that?" 

"You're gonna have to come and find out" She continued eating, infuriatingly slowly, suddenly getting up when she saw I was finished, placing her plate on the kitchen counter, and wandering off to the bedroom.

This was very annoying. Why couldn't she just talk to me like a normal person?

I took my plate to the kitchen and placed it in the dishwasher, adding hers after I had thrown the leftovers on it away.

I entered the bedroom, stomping like a child.

"Demi seriously, what the hell is... oh."

Demi was lying on the bed, casually scrolling through her phone. In her sports bra and a pair of boxer shorts.

I instantly forgot what my point was because I was too busy staring.

She looked over to me as though me walking in on her like that hadn't been her literal plan and said"Oh, hi"

"Hi, yourself" I sounded just as shaky as I felt. 

"Come here" She patted the space next to her on the bed and got up as I was walking towards it.

Before I could sit down she gently stopped me and grabbed the hem of my shirt.

"May I?" her voice was husky and low.

"Please" I let her pull my shirt over my head and helped her take off my pants as well.

"Lay down, on your stomach" She gave me a light shove, not enough to make me stumble and fall but enough to indicate who was in charge here.

I did as I was told and moments later I felt the bed sink in a little as she kneeled behind me, in between my legs.

After making sure I was okay with it, she took off my underwear, excruciatingly slowly.

Then a soft hand ran down my back, another one up my thigh before they both stopped at my ass, kneading it gently.

Suddenly both of the hands were gone only to be replaced by the cold sensation of lotion dripping on my backside a moment later.

Demi slowly started working the lotion into my skin with firm movements, making me moan whenever she intensified her massage.

"Turn around for me" she hummed after a while.

I obliged and was met with a fiercely passionate-looking Demi who also seemed as though she was planning something by the slight smirk on her lips. 

Before I could think too much about it she had turned around to straddle me, hovering over my stomach and looking in the opposite direction.

I took this chance to let my hands wander over her perfect ass and the curve of her hips.

She granted me that pleasure and slowly brought her fingertip up to my pussy, touching my clit so lightly that I almost didn't feel it. When she did it again with a little more pressure I whimpered.

"Is that sensitive already baby?" her tone was both adoring and slightly amused.

"Yes" I tried to contain my moans as she started stroking over my pussy more intently, slowly inserting one finger, but just barely up to the first knuckle.

Her slow, slight movements were torture but I had a feeling that that's what she was going for.

In an effort to gain just a little bit of control, I reached through her legs to place my hand on her center and give her a taste of her own medicine, only for her to lower her pelvis until she was sitting on my hand with her full weight, rendering me incapable of reaching it.

"How many times do you have to tell you?" She didn't want an answer, not really, so I didn't give her one.

Instead, I squealed when suddenly there were two fingers in my cunt, she was twisting her hand as she slowly brought it in and out of me, rhythmically bending her fingers at the same time.

When she noticed my response becoming increasingly frantic, she added her other hand rubbing over my clit in slow, circular motions.

This sent me over the edge embarrassingly fast, I was panting and moaning, a sweaty but content mess at her mercy.

After I had come down from my orgasm I thought she would stop but she was completely unfazed. Instead, she picked up her pace again, making me scream out in both pleasure and overstimulation.

"Tell me if this is too much" She ordered.

"No, it... Oh my god, Demi" I felt delirious from the pleasure and unable to form a sensible sentence.

Demi suddenly reached out one of her arms, not leaving her position or stopping her fingers to grab me by my hair and pull on it slightly.

This unforeseen but not unwelcome sensation had me screaming her name, over and over again as I came, even harder than the first time. 

When I came down once more, she caressed my pussy once more with her hand before giving it a sharp slap.

"Sexy fucking bitch" she chuckled and finally turned around to lay next to me, body pressed against mine, giving me a long and heated kiss. 

"Please let me taste you" I was still out of breath.

"Not tonight love, you are exhausted and it's getting late. We have plenty of nights left"I hated to admit that she was right. 

Even though I hadn't been the one constantly in motion all day, the day had left me exhausted.

Demi cuddled up to me and held me tightly as though she was trying to physically assure me that she was there, and I fell asleep in her arms with a deep sense of comfort and satisfaction until...

KLONK

My very peaceful sleep was rudely interrupted by a loud noise that I couldn't place.

I jerked up and needed a moment to gain orientation in the mostly dark room. 

Demi wasn't next to me and just like last night I had a sinking feeling in my chest.

Choosing not to call out to her this time I quietly made my way into the living room, where I found a very pissed-off Australian with tears of anger streaming down her face as she was holding her foot. 

Next to her on the floor were two dumbbells, one of which she apparently had dropped on said foot.

"What in the world are you doing?" I was suddenly wide awake.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to train a bit." She groaned, obviously in pain. 

"At three in the morning?" My voice sounded a little more hysterical than I wanted it to.

"Yes" The way she said that sounded like that was a perfectly normal thing to do.

"Why?"

"Just because" her tone had changed to be a lot more... defensive? But why?

"Is everything okay?" She was really worrying me now. 

"Yes, I just dropped the damn thing on my foot. But I'm fine. Go back to bed, I'll put some Diclofenac on it and it will be good as new tomorrow"

"I didn't mean your foot, Demi, I meant your mental state, are you okay?"She scoffed.

"My mental state is great, thank you for asking" 

Before I could reply, she was already limping down the hallway.

I went back to bed and tried to wait for her to come out so we could talk, but I ended up falling asleep before I had the chance to.

Something was definitely off though.

Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Tell me 'bout your demons and I'll tell you that I got a dozen

I'll take 'em with me on my path to self-destruction

- Self-Destruction by I Prevail

 

 

Good Morning love, 

you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to wake you.

I'm at the gym, I'll be home in a few hours and I made you breakfast, it's in the fridge.

Also please don't forget that we have to drive to Jacksonville later for RAW, I've already packed some stuff but there's  another empty suitcase in the hallway closet in case you need it.

I love you,

Demi

 

The note had been laying on the kitchen counter when I had gotten up to look for Demi at 7 am.

Since then, it had been crumbled up, carefully flattened, crumbled up again, and then laid into a heavy book to get the creases out.

For some reason, we only ever said I love you over notes and while that was weird I wanted to keep it.

I was still angry though.

Instead of being here so we could talk like I had planned, she had just left me home alone, fleeing to the gym. Did she not think about the fact that we had to spend over two hours in a car together later today? 

It wasn't like she could avoid me forever. 

Even though I was mad at her I still very much enjoyed the 'Mush' she had made for me. It wasn't the food's fault after all.

Packing had been easy, I always wore the same stuff anyway, and to keep myself from working myself into a state of complete fury I finished yesterday's gym video and posted it to Youtube.

The comments started coming in pretty much immediately. I didn't usually read them because I knew that there were some really mean ones, especially regarding my appearance but I didn't really have anything else to do.

There were some about my stupid jokes, and, not surprisingly, a whole lot about Demi and Matt together.

We weren't official yet, I didn't even fully know what we were, so, of course, showing the two of them together led to a lot of speculation from their respective fan bases. 

Usually, I wouldn't have had any reason to be jealous. I trusted Demi, she had never given me any reason not to, and Matt was a really cool guy and fun to hang out with.

But could that be why she was acting so strange towards me? Seducing me one second, then lying and pushing me away the next?

I rubbed my temples as though that would erase the thoughts from my brain when I heard the key in the front door.

"Good, you're back I was going to..." I stopped myself when I realized that Demi hadn't come alone.

Behind her, Matt walked through the door, smiling at me as he said Hi.

"Matt is going to be driving with us because he's meeting with a WWE Rep about possibly returning to the company. That's okay with you, right?" Demi asked as she was putting away her gym bag.

"Sure" I smiled back at Matt."That'll be fun" 

"Great" She came over to me and gave me a kiss which did make me feel a little better.

"Do you need more time to pack?" 

"No, I'm good, I just need to put my laptop in my bag then I'm good to go"

Matt started taking our luggage to the car and I stopped Demi before she could go after him.

"Hey, can we talk?" I did my best to ask the question as nonchalantly as possible.

"Do you think it can wait until later? I really just want to get on the road so we have some time to settle in before the madness starts" All of a sudden she looked very tired.

"Of course" I replied. I didn't want to be annoying, especially considering that she had some very stressful days ahead of her. She really didn't need me to add to that.

Demi wanted to drive and I offered Matt the passenger's seat, claiming to be tired from looking at a screen all morning.

The two of them joked around for the whole drive to Jacksonville while I sat in the back with my headphones in, listening to music and pretending to sleep.

I didn't want to come across as rude but I didn't know what to make of this situation.

Fortunately, we didn't have to fly to this week's location because that would've been a very long and uncomfortable flight.

Matt was staying in a different hotel than us so we dropped him off there before making our way to ours.

The rest of the judgment day was already there, greeting us in the Foyer, it was really good to see them again, even though it hadn't been that long.

Damian, who I had gotten quite close with, came over to me to ask me how I was doing and as we were talking I could see Dominik sneaking strange glances at Demi.

"Do you have a moment?" He asked her, trying to pull her to the side.

"I kind of just want to get my stuff to our room first, let's meet at the hotel bar later?" The way she avoided him felt almost identical to how she was acting around me.

I didn't have much time to ponder that though, because Finn had grabbed my suitcase and ran off with it and I needed to make sure to rescue my camera equipment before he accidentally sent it down a laundry chute.

Once we'd gotten to our room, Demi went to the bathroom to shower since she hadn't had a chance to do that in between the gym session and car ride, and I was left, once again, with no chance of having a private conversation with her.

Afterward, I followed her down to the bar, where she started bantering with Finn and Priest which would have been very entertaining had I not been so irritated.

None of us were drinking tonight because the four of them had to appear in the show tomorrow and I had stopped my habit of drinking on my own, but if I hadn't known that the drink in her glass was strictly diet coke I would've thought someone put whiskey in there by the way she was acting.

An hour into our meet-up, Dom approached me with a serious expression.

"How long has she been like this?" He asked me.

"So giddy?" 

"No, so... just off in general?"

 "A couple of days. I'm glad I'm not the only one noticing though, every time I try to talk to her about it she acts as though I'm making this up."

He nodded, knowingly but instead of explaining he went back to the others and excused himself to go to bed.

I stayed there with an even worse feeling about this and absolutely no helpful information.

Chapter 25: Chapter 25

Notes:

A/N:
Trigger warning for overexercising in an unhealthy way

Her skin feels unholy, but I'm still drawn

The morals I'm holding, you know they're gone 

- bad decisions by Bad Omens

Walking into the venue the next day, I felt uneasy.

I hadn't forgotten about the last time I had been at one of these shows, and even though there was no chance of Xav appearing here tonight it had left an impression.

Apart from that, Demi was still avoiding me.

It was still morning when we got there, the show wasn't due to start for hours but there were some meetings Demi and the guys had to go to in preparation for the evening.

While they disappeared to meet up with whoever they were meeting I wandered around the backstage area.

"Hey, you're Alex right?" Cathy Kelley had appeared next to me.

"Yes, and you are Cathy" I determined.

"Where's your entourage" She grinned, the question making me laugh.

"I think I would consider myself to be their entourage but they're meeting with someone and I'm just waiting for them to return" I explained.

"Want to hang out with me? I saw the videos you make for the judgment day and I would love to be able to convince you to make a tiktok account for them as a group" Her facial expression had turned slightly devious, I had heard stories about how insistent she had been for Demi to make an account on there until she finally did.

She linked our arms and gave me a tour of tonight's venue, making light conversation the whole time.

It was relaxing to just talk to someone about random things, without any tension.

That was until she perked up, seeing something going on behind me.

"Look, there are the others, hey Demi, how are you?"

Demi quickly strode past her, just holding her hand up to signal she didn't want to be spoken to.

"Oh, my bad, is she in character already?" Cathy asked, a lot less weirded out than I was.

"No, she's just being a bitch" I said through my teeth, excused myself, and followed after the angry Australian.

Before I could catch up though, Dominik had appeared behind me, holding me back by my arm. "Dom, what the hell happened in that meeting?" He looked just as confused as I felt.

"They didn't approve of her wardrobe choice for the night"

"Her wardrobe choice?" I repeated in disbelief.

"What the hell did they want her to wear?" It had to be bad otherwise she wouldn't react like that.

"The same thing she always does"

"And that is an issue because?"He looked at me, more serious than I had seen him in a while.

"It's not my place to tell, Alex. I'm really sorry"I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Then what did you want to say?"

"Just keep an eye on her, please. Something is wrong"

"You don't say" He rolled his eyes at that comment, and I remembered that he had done absolutely nothing wrong here.

"I'm sorry Dom, I guess her mood has kind of been rubbing off on me, I shouldn't have snapped at you. But there's this thing with Buddy and technically it's not like she would be in the wrong because we aren't even in an official relationship at least I don't think we are I never asked her but the point is it would still kind of hurt if she did that and didn't tell me even though she has absolutely every..." 

I realized too late that I am rambling.

"Woah, woah, woah, WHAT?" Dominik interrupted.

"What did Buddy do to her?" 

I could feel my face turning white at that question. The last thing I needed was to put any rumors about Buddy out in the world.

"Nothing" I hurried to clarify.

"But she's been so distant to me and there are all these comments online saying how good the two of them look together and I don't know if there's something between them. I couldn't even blame her but..." I was once again interrupted by Dom, this time because he burst out laughing.

"Which part of that is funny to you?" I asked, slightly offended.

"The part where you think she would ever even look at someone except you. I get that the way she's acting towards you is unsettling but this is the way she treats everyone she cares about when she's worried that they might find out something about her she doesn't want them to know. I have never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you, no Buddy in the world will change that" By the end of his sentence his voice wasn't accompanied by laughter anymore. 

He was serious. 

And that took more weight off my shoulders than I would've thought.

"Um, guys" There was an unsure voice from the door that lead to the hallway of the gym. 

I knew that the guy it belonged to was also a wrestler, but I couldn't remember his name.

"You might want to tell Rhea to lay off a little bit, what she's doing really doesn't look that healthy to me" He started to walk away before he had even fully finished the sentence.

Dom and I looked at each other and made our way to the gym.

Demi was standing in a corner of the room doing barbell squats while looking at herself in the mirror.

At first glance, it was a perfectly normal sight but something was different than usual.

Her whole body was shaking, her legs didn't seem to be supporting her, and her wrists were bent more than they should be.

Whatever the weight was that she currently had on her back, it was way too heavy.

We both rushed over to her, Dom reached over to the barbell with the intention of taking it off of her.

"Dom I swear to god, if you take this I will make sure that you have to go back to tagging with your dad" Her voice was barely there, just as shaky as her body.

"Then I will do that but I am not watching while you work yourself into an early grave"

With the most perfect timing to ever exist, Priest entered the gym and I waved him over, signaling that it was urgent.

"What's going on here... Woah Dems that's enough don't you think?" Demi didn't respond, her gaze was fixed on her mirror image but her eyes were starting to get weirdly glassy.

Dom and Damian looked at each other, communicating without words.

Both of them grabbed the barbell and slowly and carefully lifted it up, taking it away from her.

She didn't even get to complain because the second the weight is gone she collapsed, luckily, even with everything that was happening I was alert enough to catch her and slowly lower her to the ground.

"Someone call a fucking medic" Damian screamed while all I could do was sit with her head in my lap, staring at the unconscious body of the woman that I love.

 

Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Person in the mirror, they won't let me feel a thing

Keep me focused on my problems, I'm addicted to the pain

- Breaking Down by I Prevail

"Take this out before I do it myself" Demi snapped at the medic, pointing to the IV in her arm.

"Just wait until the infusions have gone through, it's just fluids and I'm sure you'll survive waiting ten more minutes" The guy couldn't have been much older than I was but from his calm demeanor, I guessed that he had dealt with his fair share of uncooperative WWE superstars.

"In fact," someone said from the door to the infirmary behind me "if you don't then you aren't appearing tonight, so pick a struggle"

Triple H had entered the room, looking at Demi like he was chastising a little kid.

For a second it looked like she was going to fight him on this but then she agreed so he left.

After Demi had indeed survived waiting the ten minutes, the medic took the IV out, gave her a protein bar, and told her she could go.

I was instructed to keep a close eye on her though, which she visibly hated.

"Wanna tell me what the hell that was?" I asked once we had gotten to the locker room, luckily with no one else there.

I expected Demi to get defensive right away, yell at me or just ignore the question, but to my surprise, when she looked at me, there were tears in her eyes.

"I want to tell you, Alex, really I do, but I can't. I don't know how. Dominik knows though, please let him explain" She fled into the bathroom and I had no choice but to go look for Dom.

I found him sitting on an equipment box in a small corridor, his head in his hands.

"I know this isn't easy for you either but I really do need to know what's going on and she won't tell me. She told me to ask you. I'm not sure why she trusted you enough to tell you and not me, but she must have a reason. Just please, tell me"

By now, my desperation was clear.

He looked up at me.

"No, you got it wrong, Alex. She never told me, I figured it out a while ago and it took months to even get her to admit it. She gets like this whenever something is bothering her a lot, especially when she thinks that she did something wrong and isn't good enough for whatever reason. The first time I noticed it was while we were pretty much doing back-to-back shows, on the road for weeks, and someone at the gym made a very douchy comment about her body. She spent days training basically 24/7, not eating, barely sleeping and when I noticed how much she had let this stupid comment get to her head she was about to pass out from exhaustion. I didn't say anything to her, I just made sure that she was never alone and eventually, it got better. But this is a pattern, I think she's been doing this since she was a teenager. As for right now, I don't know what exactly she is reacting to though, it has never been this severe as far as I know."

"What do I do?" the question came out in a pathetic squeaky voice. What had I done to her to make her treat herself this badly?

"Go talk to her. Don't accept no for an answer." He advised. 

With a bad taste in my mouth, I returned to the locker room where Demi was lying on one of the benches on her back, staring at the ceiling.

"Demi this can't go on" I started talking very carefully.

"This isn't easy, I know but our entire relationship is getting so dysfunctional because we never talk openly. We are both masters at letting our problems eat at ourselves and this isn't right. Please tell me what I did, I want to make this better"I was rambling again but I couldn't find a better way to phrase what I needed to say.

Demi sat up abruptly with a shocked expression.

"What do you mean what you did?" She asked, genuinely confused.

"I mean what did I say to make you feel this way about yourself? I really just want to know so I can do better in the future"

Before I could grasp it she had gotten up and rushed over to me, engulfing me in a hug that probably crushed several of my ribs.

"Alex, you didn't do or say anything. After Xav had gotten to you I just felt so defeated. Like I couldn't protect you and no matter what I did you wouldn't be safe. It spiraled out of control and I couldn't cope with this feeling in any other way but at the same time, I felt so ashamed because I didn't want you to see the truth, how fucked up I actually was. And then I started to push you away which just made me feel even more guilty. I recognize how childish this is but I just don't know how to stop anymore" She was sobbing into my shoulder. 

Even though seeing her like this broke my heart, I was relieved.

"I wish you would have told me sooner but it's okay. You are not alone anymore, we will figure this out, I promise. Let's sit down tomorrow and really, actually talk. I think that's been long overdue. As for today, I think you have had enough stress, let's just get some lunch with the guys and hang out with them until the show starts. Does that sound okay?"

She smiled at me through her tears and gave me a kiss.

"Sounds perfect"

Dominik looked relieved when he saw us walking out of the locker room together. 

Both of us were aware that this was far from over but for now, Demi seemed a lot more relaxed and happy than she had in a while.

She found an air hockey table and challenged Damian and Finn to a game against her and me, but quickly decided she needed to swap me for Dominik because according to her my air hockey skills "sucked ass". 

This left me, once again, in the role of the referee and D&D ended up winning because it was suddenly part of the rules that the referee was allowed to touch the puck and give it a little shove in the right direction.

Finn was furious and told me he would be carrying me to the ring with him later to feed me to Logan Paul but Damian didn't seem certain whether or not that would pose a threat to Logan.

Then our game was interrupted by Levesque, reminding us that the four of them were actually here to work and not to play on a kids-sized air hockey table so we made our way back to the locker rooms for the judgment day to get ready.

The closer it came to the show starting, the more Demi seemed to fidget again. 

Both Dom and I tried to calm her down but something in her seemed to have shut down again.

We really needed to talk.

Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Take back the crown that hangs at the gate 

ready or not, steady your aim

- Raise Your Horns by Halestorm

 

I had left Demi alone for the remainder of the night, but the next morning when she tried to quietly leave our room to go to the gym, thinking I was still asleep, I stopped her.

"Do we have to do this now?" She tried to bargain but I just nodded, taking her hand and pulling her down to sit next to me on the bed.

"We should have done this weeks ago" I didn't let go of her hand, and she didn't try to pull away.

"I know" she agreed. "So where do we start?" 

I looked at her, trying to radiate confidence and calmness that I didn't actually possess at this moment.

"By laying down some ground rules. First of all, complete honesty. This is difficult but we have been trying to spare each other's feelings for far too long, it always seems to get us into trouble. Second, we can't put the blame on ourselves or each other for things that are out of our control. And third, no one leaves until this conversation is over. Not physically and not mentally, we need to be present and we need to do this right. Is that okay with you? Do you have anything to add?"

She shook her head.

"No, that sounds good, but do you think you could start?"

"Of course" I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"So I guess the first thing I have been wondering about but was too afraid to ask is: What are we? I mean obviously, we are not just friends but am I allowed to call you my girlfriend" She chuckled quietly.

"Oh Alex, I wish I'd known you were even questioning that because for me it's been so clear. Unless you have any objections then as far as I'm concerned this is the most serious relationship I have ever had and yes, I do consider us girlfriends" She squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Okay so then, while we are on that topic, what the hell is this dynamic we have when it comes to sex? I mean, I am not complaining because I love it, but would you be willing to explore that more in detail? Because I want you to know that I have done this before, I have been formally trained by a Domme who is very special to me and taught me a lot. You seem like you have your fair share of experience as well but it feels like every time we get closer to it you pull away. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." This had been weighing on me, but now that I was saying it out loud I felt silly.

"I think that is just a communication issue" Demi started "because I find it so exhilarating and I would love nothing more than to explore it more in depth but I was scared to really bring it up. I'm always so confident in the heat of the moment but as soon as that confidence dies down a little bit I'm just scared that I'm going to hurt you and I've been kind of procrastinating having an actual negotiation with you. But I think once we have done that we could have a lot of fun with it" She admitted.

I nodded, excited and relieved to hear that.

"I actually have something I want to say now too" 

She started and I gave her a reassuring nod.

"I know that you have noticed that I tend to let my problems eat at me instead of getting help in dealing with them but I don't know how to stop doing that. It's all I've ever been. The big sister, the strong girl, the tough WWE fighter, it's so difficult for me to be vulnerable, and when you try to protect me from what is going on in your life by shutting me out or leaving to bait Xav, it makes me feel like you don't believe that I am strong enough to stand with you. That you don't trust me to be there. I know it's not what you mean to do, but it feels like it to me" 

I swallowed hard. I could tell by the shaking in her voice that this had been very difficult for her to say.

"I get that now, Demi, and I am so sorry that it took me so long. From now on we are a united front, no one is fighting by themselves anymore, deal?" 

Instead of a verbal answer, she flung her arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug.

"As for the overexercising, we both know this can't go on and I have a proposition for you"

She looked at me, head tilted like a curious puppy while her eyebrows were raised as a sign that she was skeptical.

"I will be working out with you from now on. God knows I could use a little bit of training and that way you can push me to challenge myself and I can remind you to listen to your body. Same with meals, we will be eating together from now on, no excuses" 

She thought about it for a second. 

"I love that idea, that actually sounds really fun"

"That is settled then"

"Oh and one more thing" She suddenly interjected.

"I want date nights. I think we need to get out more, really get to know each other and honestly, I feel like we could both use a little bit of lighthearted fun every once in a while" She grinned, clearly pleased with herself for coming up with this.

"You don't have to tell me twice" I grinned back at her and squealed when she suddenly tackled me, attacking me with kisses until I could barely breathe from laughter.

"Okay, let's go down to the gym and meet the guys, I can't wait to start your personal training," She said dangerously excited.

"I am going to regret ever making this suggestion, aren't I?" I sighed.

"Oh you can bet on that" 

And with that, she ushered me out of bed so I could get ready.

Chapter 28: Chapter 28

I've seen another side to you

I never even knew existed

Dirty little secrets, dirty little secrets

giving in to your primal instinct

- Dirty Little Secrets by Bullet For My Valentine

 

"What happened there?" Luis asked, trying to suppress his laughter.

I glared at him, indicating that I would not be responding to this question.

"It's Kinesio tape!" Demi exclaimed giddy as a kid on Christmas morning. 

I made a mental note to punch her the next chance I got.

"Yes I can see that but what is it doing there?"

"She wouldn't stop moving her elbows so I taped them to her body, if the tape comes off the next video going up on the judgment day youtube channel will be an exclusive on her training" Demi replied.

She hadn't lied earlier, I was already regretting that I even came up with this idea.

On the positive side, Demi was having fun and that was worth the sore muscles I would have for the next week.

I finished the hammer curls she had told me to do and laid down on one of the weight benches to relax for a moment.

"What do you think you're doing?" she took my hand and pulled me back up. 

"I finished the workout" I reminded her.

"No, you finished the weights. We're sparring now" The way she said it sounded like that was the most logical thing in the world.

"Oh no. No, no, no." I shook my head, eyes wide.

"That is not happening and it wasn't part of the deal"

She tipped her chin with her pointer finger, pretending to try and remember something.

"Wasn't it though? Because I don't recall us specifying what type of activities 'training' entails"

"Still, I am not doing it" I put my foot down.

 

Ten minutes later I found myself in the practice ring, arms crossed in front of my chest, while Demi was in the opposite corner, jumping around to warm up.

"I don't even know what I am supposed to be doing Demi" I tried one more time to change her mind but it was no use.

"You just follow my lead. You don't have to do anything at first I am just going to show you a couple of submissions so you can get a feel for them"

"Why would I need to get a feel for them? You do understand that I am not actually a member of the judgment day, right?"

She rolled her eyes at me and charged in my direction.

Before I knew it she had me in a triangle choke that I had absolutely no chance of getting out of.

"Demi, as much as I enjoy this position and view" I made it a point to stare at her tits that were right in front of my face "Please let me out of this now"

"You know, I'm actually quite comfy like this" she wiggled around a little to prove it "so if you want out you're gonna have to find a way"

Immediately, frustration rose in me, but she noticed.

"Stay calm, Alex. Think. Find a solution"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her. I wasn't a professional wrestler. How was I supposed to overpower her?

I couldn't. 

But I could channel my frustration into something smarter than whining.

Trying to make the movement as fluid as possible, I drove my outstretched hand into her side, right between her ribs and hip bone. The surprise made her momentarily loosen her grip which I used to bring my elbow and knee closer together to gain some momentum as I took all the strength I had and pushed myself through her now slightly open legs.

Then I sprinted out of the ring as fast as I could, this had been enough wrestling training for the day.

Demi stood in the middle of the ring with her hands on her hips, laughing.

"I gotta say, Marlowe, I'm surprised. I didn't think you had it in you"

"Have I earned some lunch now?" I grinned at her as provocatively as I could.

"Damn right, you have"

Before I went absolutely anywhere I desperately needed to shower. Coming back into the locker room, wrapped in a towel, afterward, I was met with Demi's gaze all over my body, so predatory it sent chills up my spine.

"Do you need something?" I pretended not to notice.

"No, I'm good, just getting kind of hungry" she replied.

"Yeah, I bet you are" I muttered under my breath and turned to my locker to get my clean clothes out when I felt a sharp sensation at the back of my head.

"What was that?" I heard a low voice right next to my ear.

"N...Nothing" I tried to keep my composure.

"Yeah, that's what I thought" she chuckled, letting go of my hair which was honestly a huge disappointment, and grabbing her bag.

"I'll wait for you outside"

Lunch was an incredibly odd experience. Demi was acting normal but at the same time, there was a tension between us I didn't dare to address.

When we got back into our room, Demi let herself fall onto her bed and looked at me strangely.

"What is it?" I was positively intrigued.

"Wanna have that discussion we talked about?" She said it casually, but we both knew that it wasn't.

"Please!" my reply came embarrassingly fast.

"What are your safe words?" She asked.

"Traffic lights"

"Works for me. Limits?" 

"It highly depends on the situation, there's a lot of things I experiment with in the right circumstances. But I don't really enjoy degradation, and while I am okay with being blindfolded or gagged, I don't like both at the same time. No complete sensory deprivation and I am claustrophobic as fuck, so no encasement. What about you?"

"While I do enjoy giving anal, I don't like receiving it. I also hate the sensation of hot wax and I don't like any impact or clamps on my nipples because they're crazy sensitive. I also rarely ever submit, that really takes determination from my partner and I don't often give up control."

I made a mental note of that.

"What do you like?" I asked.

"I love biting, scratching, and leaving marks in general. I like giving impact play and I guess you could say I am somewhat of a sadist. But my personal favorite part is the psychological aspect of BDSM dynamics. I love playing around and seeing what my partner reacts to. You, for example, have a praise kink. And I plan to use that to my advantage. What about you?"

I swallowed, I knew I had to be honest but it was difficult to admit, I didn't want to be judged.

"I like heavy impact. You might have already noticed but I can come from certain kinds of pain alone, which include biting, punching, and spanking. I'm into blood but I do understand that that's a very specific kink. I do in fact have a praise kink which will be the death of me and I am very much into honorifics, I was trained in high protocol and that isn't really my thing but there are some parts, for example having to address my partner a certain way that I love. And I will melt into a puddle if you call me by any nickname but specifically princess, good girl, or kitten."

"Is that so?" She raised one eyebrow, making my heart rate pick up.

She got up and walked over to my bed, where she got on all fours and slowly brought herself closer.

Just before our faces touched she stopped.

"I think I can work with that, kitten" 

I was already soaking wet from this short interaction.

"Demi please, for the love of all that is holy and pure, don't start something you aren't willing to finish" I gasped.

"Oh, I intend to finish"

Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Everybody's keeping their little secrets

Hidden in the bedroom drawer

But when it's over there's a terrible fever

That keeps you begging for more

- Buzz by Halestorm

 

I shuddered as I felt her eyes linger on my body.

"So, high protocol huh? That's unexpected but I can't say I am not intrigued. Up!" 

She tapped my thigh, ordering me to my feet.

I did as I was told, standing with my legs slightly spread and arms behind my back. Keeping my chin up while averting my eyes, I waited.

I had to present myself from my very best side, I knew that, because if I didn't I would make my trainer look very bad which I did not want.

"Present" Demi said while she walked around me slowly, looking at every inch of my body.

My hands moved behind my head while the rest of my posture stayed as it was.

"Very nice. But I think I have seen enough for now, you may kneel" She whispered in my ear.

I was confused and a little disappointed. What did she mean she had seen enough?

I sunk to my knees gracefully, training my eyes on the floor but I noticed too late that just for a moment I had pouted.

Demi had noticed it too and commented on it with a small, disapproving noise.

"Impatient are we? Well, we can work on that"

She sat back on her bed and laid down, unlocking her phone and typing on it, from my position, I wouldn't have been able to see what she was doing anyway but I still kept my eyes low, I didn't want to make another mistake.

There was a rustling and I was almost certain that she was starting to undress but then the room got quiet again as she went back on her phone.

This was infuriating and frustrating to no end.

It was taking all of my self-control not to shift around in annoyance.

I was wet, I was needy and I didn't understand why she was doing this.

From where I was sitting I couldn't see a clock so I didn't know how long I had been sitting there but I was starting to hurt.

My knees were aching from the hardwood floor they were on and my body wasn't used to being in this position for so long anymore.

This was only made worse when I heard a low noise coming from her bed. It was a moan. I was almost certain that she had just started to touch herself.

Her moans grew louder, I could tell that she made sure to be louder than she usually would because she was trying to get me to break my position, and show her any display of disobedience, but I wasn't about to give her that satisfaction.

My breathing was controlled and I ignored the pain creeping up in my limbs.

The moaning stopped and one of her feet appeared in my view, then the other.

A hand grabbed my chin as she tilted my head up to look at her. There was a fire in her eyes I had never seen before.

"You are such a good girl, so very obedient. You look beautiful like that" She all but purred.

"Would you like a reward?"

"Yes please" I nodded.

"Yes please what?"I hesitated for a moment. We hadn't talked about which honorifics she preferred. I knew from very painful experience that you never wanted to guess about this but at the same time, she seemed to be daring me to. 

I swallowed my uncertainty and decided to just take the punishment in case I was wrong.

"Yes please, Mami" I repeated as confidently as I could, praying to whatever higher power there was that I hadn't just horribly insulted her.

To my relief, she smiled.

"Good girl" Demi spread her legs and used one hand to grab my hair at the back of my head, eliciting a small moan in doing so, and pulled my face closer to her center.

"You know what to do. Show me how skilled you are kitten" She didn't loosen the grip on my hair.

I was tentative at first, carefully caressing her labia with my tongue but when I sensed how responsive she was I grew bolder.

If there was one thing my mentor had taught me to excel at it was eating pussy and I was proud of how adept I was at it.

I started by only paying attention to her opening, not touching her clit until I could tell she was getting really turned on. Then I administered little kitten licks, only using the tip of my tongue to the little pink knot, earning a sharp tug on my hair.

"Don't be cute Alexandria, you are not in the position to be a tease right now" I went back to licking her clit, more intently, sucking on it while grazing my teeth just barely over the sensitive skin.

What I really wanted was to add some fingers, but she hadn't given me permission to do so, so I continued using only my mouth. I sucked her into my mouth once again and shook my head, in quick, slight movements, inwardly beaming at the noises she made in response to this. My tongue found its way between her folds, licking up her wetness while I still kept some suction at her clit, where it returned after a short while, flicking fast and with as much strength as I could muster.

That did it. With one more low and husky moan, she came into my mouth and I made sure not to stop until she came down from her orgasm.

I didn't fully stop after that, she hadn't told me to, but she pulled me up from the floor, by my hair.

"Good fucking slut" She growled.

"Now, baby, how would you like me to get you off?"

It was a genuine question. She wanted me to pick so she could get a hint at what my favorite way to be pleasured was.

My face turned bright red as I thought of what I really wanted.

"Out with it" She raised one eyebrow, grinning deviously.

"May I get up to get something, Mami?" I asked carefully.

"By all means" She leaned back, bracing her hands behind her as she watched me cross the room to get to my bag.

The eyebrow went impossibly higher when she saw I had returned with a pair of grappling gloves. 

"How would you like me to use those?" There was no judgment in the question, just curiosity.

"Would you please hit me with them, Mami?" I asked.

"Of course, I will. Where do you want me to hit you?"I motioned to my chest, right over my boobs and underneath my collarbones.

She put on the gloves and waited for me to get ready.

Once I had nodded at her, indicating she could start, she started punching me, almost hesitantly at first but quickly with more intent.

The dull pain of the perfectly placed hits reverberated through my body. A familiar sensation I hadn't felt in far too long.

I didn't even realize my moans at first but when I did I looked up at her, seeing how aroused she was at my display from the intense look on her face.

That did it for me. A couple more hits and I was almost too far gone so I quickly looked at her with a pleading smile.

"Please Mami, may I come?" I was gasping and moaning, almost unable to get the words out.

"Come for me, kitten" 

My release was intense and overwhelming. 

I was moaning, possibly even screaming her name, before I sunk into her arms that wrapped around me to hold me close.

"You are incredible" She whispered.

"What do you need now, love?" 

She laid us down on the bed, making sure she could see my face.

"Please just hold me" I smiled, feeling nothing but happiness and a little bit of exhaustion.

And hold me she did.

Chapter 30: Chapter 30

I know the pain

That you hide behind the smile on your face

And not a day

Goes by where I don't think I feel the same

- Just Pretend by Bad Omens

 

Demi's hand was at the back of my head again, this time lightly tracing fingernails over my skin in circular motions which soothed the slight stinging that was still left from when she had pulled my hair but also gave me goosebumps.

"Who was it?" She suddenly broke the comfortable silence we had been laying in for the last hour.

"Who was what?" I further relaxed into her touch.

"The person who trained you. They must have known what they were doing" 

I could sense that she was trying to contain her curiosity but failing, which made me giggle quietly.

"She does. I was incredibly lucky to get the opportunity to play with her, I was even collared to her at one point. Her name is Claire, we still keep in contact. This is a bond you never fully give up even though we had to go our separate ways for the most part. If you would like that I'll introduce you one day"

She hesitated for a moment.

"Demi, there is no competition for you. Never" I put my hand on her chest and looked up at her.

She smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Good. Because I hate sharing" Her hold around me loosened slightly as she propped herself up on one arm.

"It's getting kind of late, do you want to meet the boys for dinner?"

I nodded.

"Sure, I'm just going to take a quick shower" She perked up at that information.

"I'll come with you"

I chuckled and lightly pushed her back on the bed.

"If you were to do that there would be absolutely nothing quick about it" By the time I had finished the sentence I was already closing the bathroom door.

"You will regret doing that" She informed me before it shut behind me.

 

 

"Should I be worried about that?" Luis pointed to the bruises forming on my chest, the amusement in his voice clearly indicating that he knew the nature of them.

I gave him the sternest look I could and then turned around to Demi, not dignifying this question with a response.

We were sitting in a small Japanese restaurant near the hotel after it had taken Dom and Finn a whole thirty minutes to agree on what they wanted to eat.

"So I'll take it your little jealousy situation has been dealt with?" Damian added, making me turn back to him, glaring furiously.

"Wait, what does he mean by that Alex?" Demi asked, I could basically hear her furrowed brows even though I wasn't looking at her.

"Nothing"

"Matt" 

Dominik and I had spoken at the exact same time but to my misfortune, Demi had still understood him.

"You are jealous of Matt? Why would you be jealous of Matt?"I buried my face in my hands.

"Dom I hate you" my voice came out muffled.

"Alex thought the reason you were acting withdrawn was because you had a secret affair with Buddy" Dominik offered, earning a kick under the table.

"OW watch it Marlowe" squealed Finn, who had been the accidental recipient of that kick.

Meanwhile, Demi wasn't even trying to contain her laughter.

"Can we please just change the subject?" I tried, only for Damian to join back in on the torture.

"Sure, let's change the subject to how this is one of the reasons you wanted to start working out because you thought Demi wouldn't be attracted to you if you didn't get as ripped as Matt"

Demi almost choked on the sip of her drink she had been taking.

I looked back up at the group, now that I felt like the color of my face had returned from fire engine red to somewhat normal.

"If you don't stop right now I will never talk to any of you guys again and I will cancel my plane ticket and stay here forever" I threatened.

Demi's facial expression turned serious again.

"I'm sorry love, I wouldn't want that. You don't need to feel embarrassed" She cooed.

"But if you do prefer to stay here I will send you regular updates of the twenty children Buddy and I are going to have" 

Before I knew it she was cracking up again.

I took the last piece of sushi from her plate and went to bite into it.

"Hey give that back!" She tried to grab it from me but I ran my tongue along the whole thing.

"It's mine now, I've licked it" I announced only for her to take it right out of my hand anyway.

"So? I licked you" She took a bite out of it.

"Ladies, too much information" Dominik groaned.

I kicked him again, this time with better aim.

 

 

We decided to call it a day shortly after because we had to fly back home tomorrow so we would have to get up early.

Which proved slightly difficult when Demi refused to move even a fingertip out of bed the next morning.

"Leave me alone, I'm a champion I need my sleep" she yawned, turning to face the wall and cuddling deeper into the duvet.

"Oh really?" I raised one eyebrow "Because last week you said, and I quote, 'get your ass out of bed mate, sleeping in is for wusses'"

She turned back around and stared at me with an expression that could be either tired or confused.

"Nope, doesn't sound like something I would... HEY stop that!" 

I had seized the moment of distraction to pull the duvet off of her. 

She finally got out of bed, if only to chase me around the room, when we were suddenly interrupted by a knock.

"Do you want me to open? Are you expecting anyone?" I asked her.

"I'm not, but open anyway in case it's one of the guys" She shrugged.

Behind the door stood a woman dressed in the hotel's staff uniform.

"I am really sorry to disturb you ma'am, but there has been a letter delivered for you at the front desk"

I frowned but thanked her before closing the door again and ripping open the envelope.

What is that?" Demi asked concerned when she saw the way I was staring at the page in my hand.

"It's a subpoena," I replied grimly.

"Xav's case is going to trial"

Chapter 31: Chapter 31

I am beautiful with you

even in the darkest part of me

- Beautiful With You by Halestorm

 

"Goddamnit" There was cursing in the hallway before the door opened and a young woman in a pantsuit entered the room.

She was holding a file that was spilling all over the place, trying her hardest to keep all of the pages in her hands.

After she had performed a weird shuffle to the desk where she had laid them on with a sigh, she turned back around to us, smoothing her blazer and extending her hand to greet us.

"Sorry about that, I just got transferred here from Manhattan and I'm still a bit behind schedule. My name is Casey Novak, I am the assistant district attorney on your case" 

While I took her hand, Demi crossed her arms in front of her chest with a very unamused expression.

"You are the ADA?"

I elbowed her in the side at her tone.

"Don't be rude" I tried to say it quietly enough so Ms. Novak wouldn't hear but failed miserably.

"No, I get it, that wasn't a great first impression but I can assure you that I am good at what I do. I've been working with sex crimes in New York for years and I have seen it all. So you are safe in giving me a chance" Her voice was clear and her expression honest, and Demi seemed to relax a little next to me.

We sat down in the little seating area beside her desk to go over the details of the case.

"So, Ms. Marlowe, you have been subpoenaed in front of a grand jury for the indictment of Xavier Thompson. It says here, in the statement you gave to the police, that he forcefully held you in his apartment and tried to force you to participate in an illegal gambling operation before ultimately drugging and physically assaulting you, is that correct?" 

I flinched at the words. It wasn't like I didn't know what happened but hearing someone recount it like this was still painful.

"That is correct" I managed to get out.

"Okay. The grand jury is a week from now and the opposing council which is John Buchannan will be there too. Don't ask me how this guy retained an attorney of this caliber or what he is even doing in Florida, but we will need to prep for this very carefully" She sounded nervous, which I didn't like, but Demi liked it even less.

"What is the deal with him? Why are you so hesitant?" She all but hissed at the ADA.

"He's known for his very brutal questioning. I am not worried about going up against him, I have faced him and won multiple times but I do worry about how Alex will react to his style of questioning. This is why I want to meet you here in two days to go over your testimony and everything he might want to ask you. Does that work for you?" She asked me like I had a choice. 

I nodded.

"Will Demi be able to be there with me?" My voice was shaking.

"Unfortunately Ms. Bennett will most likely be called as a witness as well, which means she can not be in the courtroom for any of your testimony" 

My whole body tensed up but I kept a stoic look on my face.

"I understand" It wasn't until after we had left the courthouse that I broke down crying in Demi's arms.

"I don't know if I can do this alone" I sobbed, and I could feel every single muscle in her body tense.

"You won't be alone. Even if I can't be in the room, I will be with you every step of the way, I promise"

Something in her voice didn't seem right.

"Alex, do you mind if I drop you off at home and go to the gym?" She asked, trying to make it sound like an innocent question.

"No way. I am not letting you hurt yourself over this again. We are going home together"

Demi was absolutely wired on the whole way home and still when we got there.

"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off this?" I asked, slightly frustrated from feeling so helpless.

She looked at me for a moment.

"Let's go get a tattoo," She said.

"A tattoo?" This did come as a bit of a surprise to me.

"Yes. Something to symbolize that we will never go back to shutting the other out again. No more lies, no more omissions of truth"

As unexpected as it was, I liked the idea. I had never gotten around to getting tattoos but I had been wanting them since I could remember. This seemed like the perfect reason for my first one.

Demi was friends with the owner of the studio she liked to go to, so we got in spontaneously even though he was technically booked months in advance. 

It turned out she had actually been thinking about this for a while, because she had the entire design planned out, just waiting for my approval which I happily gave.

She went first, the spot she had chosen to get hers on her ribcage which I imagined would be a pretty painful area but throughout the whole session she was joking around with me because I'm pretty sure she could sense my nerves.

I got mine on my right forearm, in a spot where I could see it well, and she held my hand for the entire procedure, even though it proved to be less painful than I thought it would be.

When we got out of the studio, I was strangely hyper, jumping around Demi and convincing her we needed to get ice cream while she pretended to be embarrassed to be seen with me in this state.

"You really are a little menace sometimes," She said, smiling, before having a spoonful of her dark chocolate ice cream.

"You love it!" I stuck out my tongue which was no doubt covered in strawberry sauce but I didn't mind.

"I love you" She leaned over to me and gave me a long and passionate kiss, making me momentarily forget about everything that was going on.

"I love you too" She kissed my forehead and went back to eating her ice cream while I sneaked a look at my cling wrap-covered arm, the words on it barely l readable through the foil but I would never forget them.

Don't save the truth for a rainy day

Notes:

A/N:

The SVU crossover no one asked for but you're getting it anyway

Chapter 32: Chapter 32

'Cause it's fight or fright in the full moonlight 

You can run, but you can't hide

- Werewolf by Motionless In White

 

"Do we really have to do this like... this?" I asked Ms. Novak from across the room.

"Trust me it's better this way. This won't get any more comfortable once the grand jury is sitting over there" She answered from the defense desk where Buchanan would be sitting.

"So, Miss Marlowe, would you please explain, in your own words, what happened the day you were captured by Mr. Thompson" Her voice had switched from I-Just-Want-The-Best-For-You to ADA really fast.

"I went to his apartment because..."

"You went there? As in voluntarily?" I was immediately interrupted by the redhead.

"Yes. He was threatening me and my friends so I thought if I went back to him he would leave them alone"

"You had previously been affiliated with him and his illegal business, would you please explain your role in this?"

I stared at the wooden table top in front of me. 

"Are you fucking serious? Do you want her to go to jail instead?" Demi might have been banned from coming to the actual hearing but that hadn't stopped her from accompanying me here today.

She was currently sitting cross-legged on the prosecution's desk, which had earned her a stern look from Ms. Novak who then let her do it anyway.

Now she turned around to my girlfriend, clearly annoyed.

"We have been over this Miss Bennett. This is a preparation. Nobody will be prepared if I put on kid gloves"

Before an argument could ensue (I didn't particularly care to find out what a fight between a professional wrestler and an assistant district attorney looked like), I chose to answer the question I had been asked.

"Xav was a friend of my Mother's. When she died..."

"Please stick to answering my question Miss Marlowe, I didn't ask about your mother, I asked you about your involvement"

I took a deep, shaky breath. How could I explain this without making me sound like a criminal? Actually, wasn't that exactly what I was? A criminal?

I avoided looking at Ms. Novak as I continued.

"I would infiltrate gambling sessions he hosted on his request. He had them rigged in a way that made it easy for me to win. Then he collected the money"

"Surely you had something to gain from that as well"

"I was paying off my mother's debt"

"But isn't it true that even after that debt had been paid off you stayed with him?" 

"Yes. By that point, I had gotten so accustomed to it that it was all that I knew"

"So you're an addict" 

Both the question and the tone in which she asked it made my head shoot up to look at the ADA.

"That's what this is about? He wants to paint me as an addict who can't be trusted?" 

From the corner of my eye, I saw Demi jump off the table as she heard the fear creeping up in my voice.

"Unfortunately, yes. This is the easiest way for him to get to you, so I really need you to control your response to that word"

Demi scoffed, arms crossed in front of her chest.

"That's enough for today. If you want to have another "prep" session you can contact us, but I'm taking Alex home now"

I didn't object when she took my hand to lead me out of the room.

Before we could leave, Ms. Novak put her hand on my shoulder to stop me for a moment.

"Please remember that I am on your side. It's not my goal to hurt you, I want to ensure you get the best outcome possible."

Something about that statement didn't sit right with me.

"What do you mean? He's going to prison, right? What would the worst outcome be?"

She looked at me and sighed, she didn't want to say these next words to me, I could tell, but I needed to know.

"The worst outcome, Alex, would be that you go to prison too"

 

 

"Will you please just sit down?"Demi sounded slightly anguished.

We had gotten home an hour ago, and since then I hadn't stopped pacing around the living room.

Demi had successfully gotten me to quit scratching at my hands but I just couldn't stop moving, I felt like I was going to implode if I did.

"Demi I'm going to prison" I repeated for the twentieth time.

"You are not going to prison, we will find a way out of this"

"And what exactly is that supposed to be?" I snapped at her before rubbing my temples.

"I'm sorry Demi, I just don't know what to do"

"Can't they see that you were groomed and coerced by him?" She started thinking aloud.

"I fucking hate the justice system, just because there was no prior physical abuse they pretend like there was no abuse at all" She kicked the sofa.

I sighed.

"Well, technically..." I changed my mind in the middle of the sentence, she really didn't need to know.

"Technically what?"

I didn't answer.

"This is important Alex. Truth, remember?"

I sighed again.

"There was prior physical abuse. It got really bad when I was around nineteen. That was also when I met Claire, and she could obviously tell that these were real injuries and nothing even remotely consensual. She didn't ask questions after I told her not to but she got me medical attention from a nurse she was friends with"

Demi's eyes went so wide, I was afraid they were going to pop out of her head.

"So call the hospital, get the records"

"It's not that easy Demi. I didn't go to a hospital, I went to her apartment and she never told anyone because she knew she'd be putting me in danger. I don't even know if she kept any kind of record. I only went to the hospital once, when she felt couldn't accept responsibility for the care of the injuries, they were too severe. But even then, I was there under a fake name, no insurance, completely anonymous."

"Alex, please, what other chance is there? You have to at least contact her"

I had tears in my eyes. The last thing I wanted was to get Nina involved. But Demi was right, it was the only chance I had.

This would worry not only Nina, but especially Claire but they would be even more worried if I ended up in prison.

I took my phone out of my back pocket, it took a while until I found Nina's contact but eventually, I decided to go with a voice message.

"Hi, Nina, I know it has been a while and I am so sorry for not keeping in touch. And I am even more sorry for the favor I'm about to ask you but I'm in a really shitty situation and you are kind of the only person who can help me with this..."

Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Now my heart's not listening 

But you keep haunting my dreams 

Like a fucking disease

- Sinner by Of Virtue

 

"Oh sweetheart, what happened to you?" 

I found myself engulfed in Nina's arms the second she opened the door, I took a moment to take in the older woman's familiar feel and scent, I had missed her more than I realized.

I sensed Demi looking at us inquiringly from the side, but Nina had already turned around to her and hugged her as well, which, understandably, seemed to take her by surprise.

"You must be Demi. Come on darlings, do come in" 

She ushered us inside.

Demi walked into her apartment as though she was in some sort of trance, slowly, taking in the rather unusual choice of decor.

She finally stopped in front of the St. Andrew's cross, slowly running her hand over it.

"You told her about this, right?" Nina muttered next to me.

"Not in so many words" Which was something I now regretted, deeply.

"You're lucky I'm dressed" She chuckled which I chose to ignore.

Nina got us coffee and sat down on the black leather couch with us. 

I had only given her small tidbits of information so now that we were face to face I explained the situation in detail.

"You wouldn't have happened to keep some sort of documentation of what you did, would you?" I ended.

"Oh Alex, you have always been one to underestimate me" she smiled warmly before she looked at Demi and added:

"Even though it used to get her in all sorts of trouble"

She got up and left to go into her office.

"What does she mean by that?" Demi asked, intrigued but slightly perplexed.

"That's a topic for another day" I said through gritted teeth, because Nina was already coming back, a thick folder in hand.

She dropped it on the side table.

"This details every injury I have tended to. The photos I took are in there, as well as a written documentation of them an d what exactly I did. I don't know of how much help this is going to be because they are not official hospital records, but, with your approval, I will contact my friend who cared for you in the ER that one time"

"But that was under a fake name" 

"I made sure to have them take photos as well. In case something like this happened"

"Nina, whatever would I do without you?" 

She chuckled. 

"You would be less corrupted, that's for sure" 

She had sat down on the armrest next to me, one hand on my shoulder, looking down with a sympathetic expression.

"Call Claire, will you? She doesn't want to impose, you know how big she is on respecting boundaries but she's worried sick"

Her voice had turned warm, but stern, the familiarity of her tone sent shivers down my spine.

"I will. Thank you, Nina"

 

We left soon after, I had a lot of research to do and, even though Demi hated it, we would need to contact Ms. Novak about this as soon as possible.

Nina had gotten her friend at the hospital to drop by and give us the hospital records and when we got home they were already in the mailbox.

Now, Demi and I were sitting at the kitchen island with both of the folders in front of us, daring us to open them.

"You don't have to be here for this" I said.

"Of course I do, I'm not leaving you to do this by yourself" Demi protested.

"No, Demi, I mean I don't want you to. I don't want you to see me like this, so... pathetic"

Demi took my hands and looked me in the eyes.

"You are not, nor have you ever been pathetic. I hate what this asshole did to you, but it will never change the way I feel about you, do you understand that?"

I nodded and took a deep breath before opening the first folder, Nina's, with shaky hands.

It was awful. Every cut, every bruise it was all documented carefully, with photos as well as in depth descriptions. Half of these things I couldn't even remember, my brain must have blocked them out.

Demi was slowly going through the photos, I could feel her anger building with each one.

"I'm going to kill him"

"No. You won't. I don't want to be in a real life version of Orange is the new Black. I wouldn't make it as a prison bitch"I tried to lighten the mood a little bit which didn't work at all.

"Demi, it has been years since this happened. At least this is going to help the trial. But please, I really need you to breathe and relax your jaw, I can't handle this tension right now"

She took a moment, I could see her force her body to unclench.

"You're right" I could hear her take a deep, controlled breath.

"Let's just get this stuff to Ms. Novak, we don't need to be looking at this any longer"

I nodded and gave the ADA a call, telling her we would be dropping this off later today.

Before we went to the courthouse however, I made sure to go to a copy shop to make multiple copies of every single page. I wasn't risking all of this potentially getting lost in some sort of evidence storage room.

"Would this 'Nina' be open to taking the stand as a witness?" Ms Novak asked when we handed her the folders shortly after.

"I'm sure she would, but even better, so would her friend from the hospital. Nina and I had a very close relationship at the time, but I never saw this woman before, or after. That must make her a lot more credible, right?"

She thought about it for a moment.

"It's too late to do that today but I am going to need a little more information on your definition of 'close relationship'. But yes, the woman from the hospital would make a better witness" She explained, before thanking us for dropping by and disappearing into her office again.

"You know" Demi looked at me, arms crossed.

"I would like some more information on this 'close relationship' too" 

She pretended to sound irritated but I could hear the smirk she was trying to suppress.

"Oh shut up" I playfully slapped her arm, causing her to laugh out loud.

"You just wait Marlowe, there's no getting out of this one"

 

Chapter 34: Chapter 34

Notes:

A/N:

I am aware that this is not how an indictment hearing would play out in real life but I had already started writing it when I realized so in my universe, this is how it's done now lmao.

Cross my heart and hope to die

Promise you I'll never leave your side

- Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon

"Stop that, you're making me nervous" Demi put her hand on my right leg to stop it from bouncing up and down.

"Well too bad, I already am nervous" I tried to make it sound like a joke but it came out pathetically shrill. 

"You will be okay Alex" Dominik said from Demis other side.

We were sitting in the hallway of the courthouse on a comedically cliche wooden bench, waiting to be called in individually by Ms. Novak. 

Demi, Finn, Damian and I that was. 

Dominik had actually been called by the defense, which Ms. Novak hadn't really explained to me but it scared me almost as much as the fact that I would have to go in there.

I had only briefly seen Buchanan in the hallway earlier but it had been enough to make me very uncomfortable. He was a big guy, with a red, stern face who looked like he exclusively ate baby bunnies.

Ms. Novak had had her game face on when she had welcomed us earlier and the confidence she was displaying had somewhat helped my nerves for a moment, but now that clerk was poking her head through the door to call me in, the effect of that was gone entirely.

I followed her into the room, trying to ignore the grand jury as I sat in the witness stand. 

Because it was an indictment hearing, Xav wasn't actually here today which was good, because I would have broken down had I seen him.

"Miss Marlowe, I have here, in front of me, the timeline of Events as they transpired. Would you mind going over them again for the grand jury?" Ms. Novak asked.

I swallowed hard. I could see Mr. Buchanan staring daggers at me from the defense table, but I really had no choice but to respond.

"I had been receiving threats from Mr. Thompson for weeks. He had broken into my apartment while I was out of town to scare me, and I had been staying with a friend, Ms. Bennett since then. But I was scared he was going to hurt her or some other mutual friends of ours so I made the decision to return to him in order to keep them safe"

Buchanan made a sarcastic, snorting sound.

"How very noble of you, Miss Marlowe, but why don't you explain to the grand jury what you were doing with him in the first place?"

Ms. Novak responded before I could even open my mouth, with a sharpness in her voice I hadn't heard before.

"Save it for the trial Mr. Buchanan, this is an indictment for Xavier Thompson, not for Miss Marlowe"

He rolled his eyes but gestured me to proceed telling my story.

I did so, with no further interruptions from him which was relieving but at the same time it felt like it was too easy. Like he was planning something neither I nor Ms. Novak knew about. 

I was out of there faster than I thought I would be, and the testimony of the others didn't take too long either.

Dominik came back out of the room with a very annoyed expression, because Ms. Novak hadn't let him testify at all.

"She said that if Buchanan wanted to indict you as well he should file a motion but that there was no reason for me to be there as a witness for the defense" he explained when he saw our inquiring looks "it's not like I wanted to testify for him in the first place but why put me through the stress of sitting here, expecting the worst, when you're just going to end up cutting me out anyway"

I gave him a sympathetic look. I knew what he meant, he had possibly been the most nervous of all of us, since he didn't know what to expect from Buchanan but now it seemed like all of this had only been a scare tactic. 

Surely Buchanan had known Ms. Novak wasn't going to let Dom testify against me in a hearing that was not about me at all.

After what felt like forever, Ms. Novak came out of the room and walked towards us, a triumphant look on her face.

"Good news, the grand jury returned an indictment, we are going to trial

"While it was a relief, this information also sent a new wave of anxiety through my system.

"Is Buchanan gonna push to indict me as well?" I finally asked the question that had been weighing on me since I had been sitting in the witness stand earlier.

"Right now, it's not likely. I think his plan is to use the circumstances to make you seem like you aren't a credible witness and use it as leverage in benefit for his client. I'm aware that that hardly sounds better, but it is something I can work with. I'm just asking you to continue to trust me." She explained.

I nodded slowly. I wasn't known for being the most trusting person in the world, but what choice did I really have.

I felt a soft hand squeeze my shoulder in encouragement and turned around to find Demi, smiling at me reassuringly. 

"Yes of course. Thank you Ms. Novak" I answered the attorney, making sure to convey with my voice that I was actually really thankful for everything she was doing for me.

"Go home now" the ADA adressed all of us "try to relax a little, it will get stressful soon enough. Make sure to stick together, it seems like you need each other" with one last warm smile, she left us in the hallway, leaving in direction of her office.

"I don't know about you guys" Damian broke the silence "but I want a Donut"

We collectively broke out in laughter, because it sounded so absurd right in this moment.

"Come one then, that actually sounds like a good idea" Finn ushered us out of the court building to the car.

"But only if I get one with sprinkles" Demi added.

Chapter 35: Chapter 35

Lies like poison

Make me whole 

Just to cut me open

- Cut Me Open by Of Virtue

 

We had done everything in our power to make the wait until the trial feel as normal as possible. 

Demi and the guys had appeared on Monday Night RAW, which we had traveled to together, I had filmed some behind-the-scenes videos, trying to appear like I didn't have a care in the world, and Demi had continued her cruel new hobby of personal training which was exhausting but already starting to show the first little successes. 

Nonetheless, the first day of the trial had rolled around faster than I would have liked, making the tension between us increase exponentially. 

Dominik had been insufferable for the past few dates, he was nervous about being called by the defense, scared that Buchanan would get him to say something to incriminate me, and no matter how many times I told him not to worry about it and just tell the truth, it just seemed to get worse.

Demi actually had me scared that I would have to bail her out of jail for dropkicking Xav from the witness stand after her testimony. 

Damian hadn't stopped rambling about how much he hated that they were making us do this since he had gotten up that morning and Finn had basically not said a word for three days straight. 

I hadn't known how much this affected him but it seemed like the more he was confronted with what had transpired the more he shut us out to deal with it, which Demi told me was typical for him but it still worried me.

We were sitting in a mostly empty room in the courthouse, waiting to be called one by one. After we had given our testimony, we couldn't return to the others who hadn't done that yet, so Matt was waiting in the hallway to make sure whoever had to go first wouldn't be there alone. 

He would later switch to this room, so no one had to be alone at any point.

Ms. Novak had reminded us for the twentieth time to only answer the questions we were asked, as briefly as possible, preferably with "yes" or "no" answers.

The judge presiding over the case was called Elizabeth Donnelly, a blonde, older woman who reminded me of Nina so much I had to do a double take when I first saw her and heard her speak.

According to Ms. Novak, she had a long and extensive history with Judge Donnelly, she had worked under her for a long time and Ms. Novak described her as a strict, but reasonable and fair person.

She did not, however, answer my question about what she meant by "extensive history".

Dom was the first to be called in. He didn't look back as he left the room, almost in a hurry, as though he was scared one of us would suddenly decide to be angry at him for some reason.

An agonizingly long time after, Finn was called, then Priest, both of them didn't spend long in there, and shortly before the clerk returned to call Demi in, Matt appeared in the room to stay with me until it was my turn.

Demi left for the courtroom and he sat down next to me, silently at first.

Then he turned to face me.

"Is it true that you thought I had an affair with Demi?"

I stared at him.

"Time and place, Adams" 

He nodded and resumed staring at the floor. 

This went on for thirty minutes before the clerk, once again, returned to the room.

"Miss Marlowe, you may come with me now"

I nodded and followed her into the courtroom.

The trial was closed to the public, which was good because I don't know how many more people in the room I could have handled. 

The jury, the two attorneys, the courtroom staff, and Judge Donnelly seemed to be more than enough.

And then, of course, there was Xav. I hadn't seen him since that night, and he looked surprisingly well. Not very happy though, it seemed the trial up until now hadn't gone how he would have liked.

Ms. Novak asked me her questions the way we had practiced, with no interference from the defense. 

But the whole time she was questioning me, he stared at me with a sinister smile on his face. I had been told by Ms. Novak that it was a strategy he often used to make a witness feel unsure about their own testimony and she instructed me to ignore it but it was easier said than done.

"Nothing further" Ms. Novak ended and sat back down, waiting for Buchanan to start his questioning.

He took a painfully long time gathering his notes, getting up, and walking around the defense table to lean against it, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"So, Miss Marlowe. You are here to testify against my client, because you believe he is a criminal, right? Someone who breaks the law does harmful things that hurt other people. You might even say he is a danger to society..."

"Objection! Is there a question here?" Ms. Novak interrupted.

Judge Donnelly tapped her ballpoint pen on the table, impatiently. 

"Move it along, Mr. Buchanan" She instructed.

"Gladly. Isn't it true, Miss Marlowe, that if my client is all of these things, you are not better than him in the slightest? Haven't you done the very same things?" 

"Objection, Badgering" Ms. Novak repeated before I could even try to answer. 

"The witness is not on Trial here, the defendant is"

"Sustained" Donnelly sounded equally as annoyed as Ms. Novak. 

Apparently, this wasn't the first time an Objection like this had been made today.

Buchanan shrugged and turned around to gather a sheet of paper from his desk. 

"Miss Marlowe, it is your testimony that on the said day you went into the defendant's apartment of your own volition, with the plan to, once again, partner up with him in facilitating gambling events you knew were in fact illegal, is it not?"

"He was threatening me, I wanted to protect the people I love"

"So he was threatening you. Was he also threatening you all of the times before? Isn't it true that you used to do all kinds of things just because he asked? Isn't it true you murdered someone who got in his way, just out of loyalty?"

"OBJECTION! Are you kidding me?" Ms. Novak had jumped up from her chair with so much vehemence that it fell over with a loud thud.

Judge Donnelly looked at me inquiring, thinking for a moment until she said:

"Overruled. I actually want to hear about this"

Chapter 36: Chapter 36

I set it on fire, I lay it to rest

Here's to the hurt so I wouldn't forget

My heart can survive it, I'm stronger than this

They ain't built a weapon that could kill me yet

- My Redemption by Halestorm

 

I tried not to pass out as I turned back to Buchanan to reply to his question.

"I did not murder anyone" I willed my voice to be calm and collected.

"I did not even know he was involved in anything like this until a few weeks ago when I was told by someone who knew the victim"

"You are referring to Mr. Gutierrez here?" Buchanan asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yes," I replied."Isn't it true though, Miss Marlowe, that the only reason Mr. Gutierrez only connected my client to the alleged murder was because he recognized you?"

This man was making no sense at all. A second ago, when he was talking about my involvement it was a murder but the moment Xav was brought up it suddenly became "alleged".

I tried not to let my frustration show as I answered.

"He recognized me from a photo he had of me and Mr. Thompson together. I was never even in the room when it happened, I was in the general area and had, as I already explained, no idea this even happened. I would have never participated or kept quiet about anything like this"

"Not even if Mr. Thompson told you to? You seemed to happily do everything else he asked"

"Objection, Badgering. Do we really need to put the Jury through another round of the evidence photos documenting the horrendous physical abuse Miss Marlowe suffered at the hands of the defendant?" Ms. Novak growled from the prosecution table.

Judge Donnelly, apparently, had heard enough.

"I have given you a chance to rectify your atrocity of a defense strategy, Mr. Buchanan, but you continue to throw around unfounded accusations that have nothing to do with the matter at hand, which is the trial of your client. I suggest you think long and hard about the question you are going to ask next because if there is one more accusation with no immediately available proof to back it up I will have you thrown in contempt." 

She spoke with a voice that was so sharp I was worried she had cut him in half for a second.

Mr. Buchanan glared at her, then at me.

"Nothing further" He hissed through his teeth and just like that, I was out of the courtroom again.

"What the hell happened?" I asked Dominik the second I met the others in the hallway.

In stark contrast to the sinister look he had had the last time I'd seen him, he looked almost joyful now.

"This Buchanan guy dug his own grave, that's what happened" He chuckled.

I looked at him questioningly and he continued.

"I had my suspicions that he was going to bring up Lupe, and when I told Ms. Novak about it she seemed to agree with me. I was really scared he would get me to accidentally play into his hands. But when he brought it up, Ms. Novak had miraculously produced the entire security camera tape from the restaurant that night. But she waited to show it to the Jury and Judge Donnelly until after he had finished trying to put words in my mouth and gotten told off by Donnelly for testifying. Ms. Novak also got into a little bit of trouble because she didn't submit the evidence before the trial but ultimately Donnelly decided it was too important to disregard."

"You mean to tell me that he had already been told off for his line of questioning and was bold enough to openly accuse me of murdering someone?" I had known that Buchanan was calculating, I had not pegged him as stupid.

"He got desperate," said Ms. Novak who had apparently appeared behind me.

"He knew the jury would take one look at the evidence and believe that you weren't acting of your own free will and that was the only real strategy he had. The other one was making you look bad to make the defendant look better, but he didn't count on me doing my homework" 

I turned around to see that she was leaning in a doorway, arms crossed in front of her chest and with a victorious smirk on her lips.

"The jury just retired, I don't think it will take too long but if you would like to you can go home anyway."

We shook our heads in unison, there was no way any of us were leaving this building until we knew for sure what was going to happen with Xav.

It didn't take long though, until we were kicked out of the hallway by a janitor because Finn, who was still shaking with nervous energy, had dropped his third cup of coffee from the vending machine and we were told to wait somewhere else.

We fled into Ms. Novak's office, which she seemed less than thrilled about, but she let us stay anyways.

Demi had just started interrogating the ADA with questions about the hot, blonde woman whose photo she had found on her desk (her name, so Ms. Novak, was Alex Cabot, but that was all of the information she was willing to give us) when she was, luckily saved by the bell. 

Or rather, her phone ringing.

"Jury's back" she explained briefly and ushered us out of the office, back into the courtroom.

Now that we had all testified, nothing could keep us from entering the room as a united front. No matter what the verdict would be, now that we were here together I felt safe again. 

Like I belonged.

We sat down in the first row of the benches and watched as the jury reentered the room, as well as Buchanan and Xav.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Judge Donnelly asked once everyone was back in their place.

"We have, your honor"

"What say you?"

Xav turned around to face me, with a wicked grin, and my vision almost went black. He hadn't looked directly at me for my entire testimony and I wasn't prepared for the familiar evil in his eyes.

I was quickly snapped out of these thoughts though, by Demi abruptly pulling me into a hug.

"Wait what happened?" I asked her confused.

"We did it Alex" she beamed at me. 

"The bastard is going to prison"

 

Chapter 37: Authors Note

Hey everyone, it’s been quite a while. I wasn’t doing that well and didn’t have the time or motivation to update this story but I would like to continue it now. For me to get back into it I was wondering what you would like to know more about. I kind of ended the last story line but I’m sure there are things I could go into more detail about I would just like to make sure anyone is interested in it. So if you have for example a backstory or anything like that you would like to know more about please let me know!

Chapter 38: Epilogue pt. I

Notes:

A/N:

So here we go with the first part of this story's epilogue. It's a little longer than the rest of the chapter so I decided to split it into multiple parts, I hope it's not too long-winded and boring

(You can also feel superior to the Wattpad people who haven't gotten this yet because Wattpad is being a little bitch hehe)

I breathe you in again

just to feel you

underneath my skin

holding on to

- Familiar Taste Of Poison by Halestorm

 

 

"So what do you want to do now?" I glanced up at Demi on the couch from my very comfy position on the rug where I was currently curled up with Luna.

"Tell me about Claire"

"Claire?" I was taken aback by her answer "Why, what do you want to know about Claire?"

 

"I would just love to know more about her, she is obviously someone important to you and I want to know what it is about her that makes her deserve this level of respect from you. I guess I'm just curious"

She sounded sincere.

My mind wandered to memories of my mentor. There was a lot to say about Claire, a lot I wanted to say, but how far into detail could I go without scaring her off? Images came to my head, of things that I hadn't even known existed before Claire had started training me. So terrifying, and unspeakable at first but so enthralling and intoxicating once I had experienced them. Demi of course had made her own experiences but she and I had only just scratched the surface when it came to this and I hadn't intended on going deeper, pulling her into this world. The only fair way to do it was to bring them together but I wasn't sure if they could handle each other. Or rather if Demi could handle Claire.

I realized that Demi was still looking at me expectantly.

 

"When I was 18, right after my mother died and I moved in with Xav, I started to feel claustrophobic. I was alone and isolated and this guy from one of the gambling sessions took me to a club. To this day I have no idea how he even got in there, it was a pretty prestigious BDSM club, invite only. At that time I didn't know it belonged to Nina's husband, because they were traveling Europe so we hadn't met yet. The first night there, I was just looking, there was a lot to see and I was intrigued by all of it. But I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I didn't know about consent and negotiation, I just wanted an emotional release, I wanted as much pain as possible. So the next time I was there, I went into a private room with this woman, she was taking advantage of the fact that I hadn't set any limits because I was scared to annoy her, and she immediately started degrading me, saying pretty awful things, that I obviously hadn't consented to. But then suddenly there was Claire. She had somehow sensed that this wasn't a healthy situation and she was managing the dungeon at that time, in Nina's and her husband's absence. I was so intimidated by her, she came in eerily calm and ordered the woman to leave and never come back with a coldness that I could physically feel. And then, suddenly she changed once that woman was gone. She came over to me, made sure I was okay, and kept me in her general vicinity for the rest of the night."

Demi tilted her head. "So she became your Domme?"

 

I laughed. "No, she didn't make it that easy for me. I begged her to train me for months, but she wouldn't even touch me in a friendly way until I had read basically her entire library of books on BDSM and power dynamics and taken literal quizzes on that. She wanted to make sure that I was sure. That I was able to engage in this in a safe way that wouldn't hurt me. We didn't have our first session until about six months later, but in that time I learned a lot. And I saw a lot."

"Why did you stop seeing her?"

 

"When things with Xav went downhill I cut off contact because I was scared he would get to her. And I was embarrassed to face her too. I felt weak and not at all like the person she'd taught me to be."

 

"The person she'd taught you to be?"

 

"This connection went a lot deeper than just BDSM. She could sense how unhappy I was with myself and basically made it her life's mission to change that. She used to read to me from this book called "There is nothing wrong with You". It actually helped, partially because I finally had found a home in her and Nina and the other people at the club. The club was my favorite place to be."

 

“I bet. I’ve never been to a club but I heard a lot is going on there”

 

I bit my lip, trying to figure out what my next move should be. I couldn’t explain this to her, I had to show her. But I was so scared that she would be freaked out and never think of me the same.

“There are things I would have never imagined were even a thing before I saw them with my own eyes. Some of them are scary if you don’t know the background. But most of it is very exciting and fun. If you want to I can take you there”

 

Demi raised an eyebrow “You kind of just made it sound like I’m going to be eaten alive if I step foot in there but I can’t say I’m not intrigued”

 

I suppressed a chuckle. “Actually the place itself is nothing you haven’t seen before”

 

“Wait what do you mean?” Her eyebrows were now knitted.

 

“You’ve been to the club before. To be fair it was in the daylight and without any members there but Nina lives there, that’s why she has this peculiar choice of room decor you were so fascinated with”

 

Her face turned bright red as she realized I had noticed how closely she had looked at some of the equipment in Nina’s studio when we had been there.

 

“That’s less scary then. Especially if Nina’s there, she seemed so sweet and maternal but I feel like I wouldn’t want to mess with her.”

 

“Nina is harmless, she enforces the rules for safety reasons but she’s very playful otherwise. Claire is a different story” My thoughts trailed off again.

 

“She will eat me alive then?” Demi sensed my hesitation and tried to lighten the mood.

 

“Not you, no. But after I have been a ghost for so long she might eat me. And not in a fun way”

 

“I’m not going to lie I would give anything to see that” Demi chuckled. “I bet I could learn a lot from her”

 

The last part sounded so longing and sincere that I made up my mind right there and then.

“If it’s something you truly want I will take you to the club soon and introduce you. There are a couple of things to talk about first though”

 

“I’m all ears”

 

“There’s a lot of history here and Claire doesn’t know much about what’s been going on in my life lately. She would never try to interfere with our relationship and she will back off if you want her to but she doesn’t tolerate displays of jealousy. So before we go there I need to know what is okay for you and what is not and I will tell her. You have nothing to worry about, what we have is different than what Claire and I have. I look up to her, I admire and trust her and I am very much submissive to her but I don’t love her, not the way I love you. Please never forget that.”

 

Demi thought about that for a moment.

“To be completely honest with you I don’t feel jealousy at all when I’m thinking about you two together. It just… really turns me on”

 

I stared at her for a moment, in complete awe. “You keep surprising me Demi, and I absolutely love it”

 

**********

“Stop messing with your dress, you’re not fixing any wrinkles you’re creating them” 

I took hold of Demi’s hand as she was just about to run them over her black bodycon dress for the third time since we had gotten into the elevator. She looked absolutely gorgeous, shoulders and arms exposed with all of her tattoos and muscles on display and apart from the dress in a pair of leather boots.

It was endearing to see my otherwise so strong and dominant girlfriend so concerned. She didn’t admit it but she was a little scared of meeting Claire. I didn’t see any issues on the horizon, I was sure they would get along great but Demi had confessed that she was also scared she would know what I was “missing out on” by being with her instead of Claire. She had somehow gotten it in her head that she was less of a Domme and wouldn’t listen to me when I explained to her that that was not true.

 

My hand found the soft leather collar around my neck. After I had explained collaring rules in the club Demi she had decided that she wanted me to wear Claire’s collar to the club like I always did. It meant I was protected and also that I belonged. She said she did not want it any other way. I had clipped a silver charm to the O-Ring with the letter “D” on it though, and she had beamed with pride when she saw it.

 

When we walked through the doors of the club I was struck with the familiar atmosphere. I hadn’t realized how much I missed coming here. Getting from one end of the room to the other took a while because I kept bumping into people I hadn’t seen in a long time and everyone seemed very interested in the breathtaking woman by my side.

 

Demi seemed to have lost the nervousness she’d been battling with just a second ago and seamlessly blended in with all the other Dommes here. Her shoulders were back and her chin high as she glanced around the room and took everything in.

 

In a corner with seating arrangements, I spotted a familiar head of dark red hair.

 

I took Demi’s hand for reassurance as I approached the black leather couch Claire was seated on. The last time I had seen her her hair had been in a pixie cut, colored a brighter red with an almost pink undertone. Now it was back to how it was when I had met her. A dark burgundy, flowing down to just below her shoulders. She was in a black latex catsuit and her hazel eyes were taking in every inch of me as if to make sure all my limbs were still in place.

 

“It’s good to see you Alexandria, you look well”

Her deep, calm voice hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to fight to keep myself from tearing up.

“You too. I’m sorry I didn’t stay in touch I needed… I needed to get away from myself”

 

She nodded, then turned her attention over to Demi.

 

“You must be Demi then. It’s great to meet you, I was very glad when I heard Alexandria found someone she wanted to be with. You should know that’s the highest of compliments, she likes to keep to herself.”

 

Demi’s eyes sparkled and I could see her relax even more.

 

“I heard she spent a lot of time with you too”

 

Claire chuckled. “That’s different. We had a lot of fun together but I also took her to places in her mind that were often very uncomfortable and made her confront her darkest self. It's what she needed and obviously what she wanted but it's not the same. Anyone can tell by the way she looks at you that she really loves you"

 

"Claire!" I protested her very open and honest explanation of MY inner world.

 

But this was Claire. All it took from her was a slightly raised eyebrow and I was ready to kneel at her feet. I lowered my gaze and mumbled an apology.

 

"You know better Alexandria. Don't forget your place" Claire's philosophy was that you either apologized out loud and clearly or not at all.

 

"I apologize, Claire" I repeated, this time in a calm and steady voice.

 

"Better"

 

Demi had stood next to us, watching the situation unfold with ever-growing fascination.

 

"You look like a kid in a candy store" Claire decided with one look at her. "Why don't we go to my room"

Chapter 39: Epilogue pt. II

Notes:

It took me long enough, but I hope this makes up for the time it took me to actually finish this story. I am kind of sad to say goodbye to it, but I have frustrated people by being incapable of updating it long enough now I think XD
I hope you liked this story as much as I enjoyed writing it, thank you all so much for your sweet comments, each one of them means so much to me.

Call out the lies, blow the storm away
Don't save the truth for a rainy day
- Rainy Day by Ice Nine Kills

Claire’s stiletto heels were clacking on the wooden floors as we walked down the hall to her rooms. Like the other Dominants who had been with the club since its opening, she had a space where she could take her subs or just hang out by herself, that she could decorate to her liking. 
I had once compared it to the red room in “Fifty Shades of Grey” which had earned me twenty cane strokes and a three-page essay about all of the reasons why that series is a horrible and disgraceful caricature of BDSM.

I entered the room behind Claire and Demi, looking around for a moment to take it all in. Nothing had changed as far as I could see. 
On the wall opposite the door, protruding into the room was the large four-post bed made from massive wood but in a modern, minimalistic style. On the wall next to it were multiple dressers and a wardrobe that I knew was filled with equipment rather than clothes. The other wall was covered in bookshelves, Claire's impressive collection of BDSM literature that I had gotten lost in on more than one occasion, in the same big cozy armchair that was still standing in the corner. 

Claire turned around to look at me.
“You know what to do. I will talk to Demi now”

She took Demi’s hand and gently led her over to the bed, motioning for her to take off her shoes and take a seat while I crossed my arms behind my back and knelt at the foot of the bed, gaze fixed on the floor.

“I’m guessing there are a lot of things you would like to know. Please ask me anything you want”

I kept my eyes averted so I couldn’t see but I guessed that Demi must have just stared at her for a moment because Claire started laughing.

“It’s okay, I won’t bite unless you ask me to”

That seemed to relax Demi enough to laugh with her.

“I’m sorry, you just seem so… naturally dominant. How did you get to that point?”

“I’m not. Well, not exclusively anyway. I subbed for a long time and I still do. I can take just as much as I dish out and I have had a lot of time to get the experience that gave me my confidence. Be patient with yourself. I can tell you have the potential to become a great dominant, you just need time to find your style.”

Silence again.

“What is it?” Claire sounded very intrigued.

“I was wondering…” Demi started again, “If you would mind giving me a chance to maybe… observe your style?”

“Observe, huh?”

“Well maybe even take a part in it”

“Just how active do you want that part to be?” Claire sounded almost predatory now.
“How close would you like to get to know me?”

“As close as you will let me” Demi sounded surprised by that answer herself, but also very sincere.

“If that is truly what you want I would be happy to. But I will have to do something about that one over there, she has a reputation for getting her hands in all kinds of situations where they don’t belong” She walked over to one of the dressers and pulled out a couple of skeins of dark red rope. 

Claire delighted in rope bondage. She was fast but efficient and it barely took her five minutes until I was bound in a crossed-legged tie called “Agura” with my hands behind my back in a reverse prayer position.

She tipped my chin up with her finger to look me in the eyes. “You may watch but I don’t want to hear a single sound from you, understood?”

“Yes, Claire”

“Good girl”

“Now, Demi.” Claire slipped out of her heels and crawled on the bed next to my wrestler. “When I am getting to know someone in this way I like to just feel my way along. So the rules right now are, no means no, yes means yes, and more means more. You are free to try whatever you want, I can’t promise I won’t retaliate. Do you have any objections?”

“I don’t”

“Good” Claire shifted her weight to her knees and looked up at Demi. This was one of her favorite games, who would look away first? Demi did way better than I ever had, very determined to win, but Claire never said she was playing fair. One of her hands had made her way to Demi’s upper thigh and she was now gripping it as hard as she could. Demi gasped in surprise and the moment she lowered her gaze Claire pushed her on her back, straddled her, and kissed her on the lips. 

I could see through this act of dominance.
Claire had no real interest in trying to dominate Demi. She was testing me. And she was planning on having a whole lot of fun in the process.

Claire and Demi were now fully making out. Demi had quickly gotten over the surprise and into the action. She was, however not going to give Claire all of the power. One of her arms was now propping her up while the hand of the other was buried deep in Claire’s red hair, pulling her head back slightly.
The harder she pulled the more intense Claire’s response became. Claire could eroticize painful stimuli to the point of orgasm, which was how I had learned to do that, and hair pulling was one of her favorite ways to come.

Right as her moans started to get more frantic, Claire suddenly ducked her head and started to nip at Demi’s nipples through her dress. This caused the other woman to grip even harder which pushed Claire over the edge. 

It had been so long since I had gotten to see and hear her come and it sent a sting of arousal right to my clit. 

Demi had enough of being on the bottom for now and swiftly turned them over so that she was now holding down Claire. 

“I’m in control now” She informed the redhead.

“Is that so?” I knew that smile. It was pure sadism, in the hottest way possible.

“It is. Don’t underestimate me just because you don’t know me” Demi was grinning and it seemed like she had now joined Claire’s quest to make me go crazy.

“You don’t really know me and I don’t really know you. Is that the way it’s gonna be?” 

“Sounds like it” Demi leaned down and kissed her passionately again. “But as far as I know you I like you”

“Here’s a deal. Why don’t you go over to that dresser and pick out some things you would like to see used on that little puddle over there” She pointed in my direction, “while I get rid of this suit”.

“That sounds fair” Demi walked over to the dresser while still keeping her eyes on Claire who had started to strip out of the lubed-up catsuit. 
Her milky skin was shiny with sweat and lube and she looked absolutely delightful as she stretched out on the bed.

My girlfriend looked like she was about to carry the entire dresser over to Claire but ended up settling on a purple leather flogger, a bamboo cane, particularly mean clover clamps, and a strap-on with a leather harness. 

“Good choices” Claire looked at the toys now splayed out on the bed in front of her before pushing them to the side. “She will, however, have to wait another while. Now I would like to see what the rest of this gorgeous body looks like” She slid the straps of Demi’s dress down her shoulders.

Demi smacked her hand lightly and took a step back. “Tsk tsk, so impatient” her voice was dripping with mockery, “let me give you a show, won’t you?”

Claire cocked one eyebrow and laid back on the bed, motioning for her to go on.

My girlfriend slowly unzipped her dress and turned around to show off her perfectly toned backside, slipping the dress down her body in slow motion and making sure to bend over slightly to make sure her ass was on full display. I was salivating.

“Absolutely fucking gorgeous” Claire almost growled at her and beckoned her to come over. Demi gave her the pleasure of winning this time.

Claire sat up and pushed Demi onto the bed yet again, giving her a moment to get situated before pushing her thighs apart and getting settled in between them. She leaned over Demi for a moment, her lips right next to her ears. What she said next was little more than a whisper but I could still hear every word.

“Let me taste you.”

The only answer Claire got was a rough push on her shoulders, bringing her closer to where she had wanted to be anyway.

It didn’t take the redhead long to get to work. I knew from firsthand experience that Claire was absolutely excellent at eating pussy and she was not shy about it either. It only took a moment for Demi to be squirming underneath her, trying desperately to keep her moans in.

Claire had her whole clit sucked into her mouth, glancing up at her the entire time, and I was pretty sure it was the eye contact that really pushed Demi over the edge. She came in Claire's mouth with a shout and it sent a jolt of arousal straight to my own clit.

“That was fast” Claire chuckled and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. “My little girl not taking care of you well enough?” She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I knew that she was expecting me to break the rules to defend myself but I wasn’t that dumb.

“Oh no, she takes care of me just fine” Demi had managed to slow her breathing, “but the image of you going down on her like that? That really did it for me” she explained.

“You just might be able to witness that later this evening” She winked at me which finally made me break and let out a small whimper.

“What was that?” Her voice was suddenly pure ice. 

My eyes went wide and before I could explain myself she had charged across the room and pushed me on my side, one foot on my throat. 

“I think this one just broke the rules” she exclaimed. “Demi, what do you think we should do about that?”

Demi didn’t take long to decide. “I think she’s not gonna like these much” She picked up the pair of clover clamps, dangling them on one finger.

I took a deep breath. Demi was right, I didn’t like the clamps. One of Claire's favorite games was to put them on me and edge me, making it very hard for me to be still which was necessary if I didn’t want to be forced to focus on the sharp, stingy pain in my nipples. 
But I also knew exactly how much the sensation heightened my arousal.

Claire got to work on undoing the rope bondage, giving me a second to admire the snake-like marks on my skin while she went to set up the bed frame. The wooden beams had metal hooks in them, two near the ceiling and two near the floor and she opened a drawer to take out leather wrist and thigh cuffs she fastened to those hooks. 

I was giddy with excitement, it had been so long since I had gotten to feel the smooth, supple leather against my skin, holding me in place. Claire let Demi position me in front of the bed frame and attached my wrists to the higher and my ankles to the lower O-rings.

“Why don’t you get on the bed behind her and try to distract her while I am the bad cop for a second” Claire pulled Demi in for a short kiss and waited until she had taken her place on the bed.

I could feel Demi behind me, I knew she was close but she was not touching me and it took all my willpower not to turn my head to see what she was doing. Meanwhile, Claire had started paying attention to my nipples. Her tongue swirled around one of them before she sucked it into her mouth, making me arch my back. She continued until it was hard and aching for more attention before she moved on to the other one. 

I started to moan desperately when I suddenly felt her bite down on my breast and then disappear.

“That’s enough for now. Time to decorate you” She got out the clamps and carefully attached them to me, I took in a sharp breath as they closed around my skin. Then she went to grab a small, metal weight and hung it on the chain connecting the clamps.

I whimpered for a second but didn’t have time to fully let the sensation sink in because right as the weight dropped there was an arm snaking around my back and a hand zeroing in on my pussy.

Demi didn’t take her time, she immediately started rubbing over my clit in small, circular motions at a pace that she knew was bound to get me off very quickly. I arched into her touch and couldn’t stop myself from moaning her name when the leather flogger came down on my thigh with a loud smack.
I hadn’t seen Claire retrieve it but it heightened the sensation even more.

The little jump I had made at the first contact with the flogger resulted in the weight moving, causing a sharp jolt of pain to my nipples. Demi wasn’t slowing down one bit and I was forced to endure every single sensation given to me. Claire had found a steady rhythm, flogging my thighs and then my belly, making sure not to hit Demi’s hand. The flogger itself was a pleasant feeling, due to it being made from soft, wide strips of leather it felt like a massage but it caused a tug on the nipple clamps every time it hit me, making me cry out each time.

I was as quiet as I could, I had taken much more than this and I had two women here I needed to impress but luckily Claire knew I was out of practice and needed to start slowly tonight.

That did not stop her however from suddenly and with no warning taking the clamps off. She knew very well that them coming off way ten times worse than them being on and she leaned down to kiss me before I got the chance to cry out in pain. 

It was a soft, long kiss and I knew that it meant the end of pain for me tonight. I was disappointed for a second but I knew she was right. This wasn’t the time to push me to my limits, this was just for fun.

Demi and she took off the cuffs and let me lay on the bed for a moment. I closed my eyes and relaxed my body while they both lay next to me, holding me close. This was pure bliss.

My head lay on Demi’s chest while Claire’s hands were slowly gliding up and down my arms when I suddenly heard Claire whisper something, Demi responding with a nod. 

“Are you up for some more action, love?” Claire hummed in my ear and I eagerly nodded my head, to which Demi chuckled. 

“Eager little thing” 

My girlfriend carefully pushed me off her and got up from the bed. My eyes widened as I watched her put on the harness of the strap-on. Hadn’t Claire held my arms behind my back I would’ve jumped her right then and there.

“Patience, love.” She pulled me out of the way so that Demi could lay back down. 

“Now you just lay back and enjoy, let her do the work” Claire sat back, leaning on one of the bed posts as she motioned me to straddle Demi’s hips. I didn’t need to be told twice. I threw one leg over Demi and slowly lowered myself on the dildo, not even thinking about going to get lube. I was very needy by this point but also determined to get Demi off before I even thought of cumming. 

“That’s it” Demi groaned as my weight shifted on the cock, pushing it right onto her clit. 
I started to move pretty much immediately, slowly at first but when Demi grabbed my hips to pull me closer I finally let go of all inhibitions.
I was grinding down on her like my life depended on it, the head of the dildo pushing right on my G-Spot with every movement. I threw my head back and braced my hands on her legs when I suddenly heard a low buzzing sound next to me. Claire had started to get herself off with a Hitachi she seemed to have pulled out of thin air, staring me right in my eyes as she saw me watching. 

“What? You expect me to not get turned on by that? Watching you rut against her like a little bitch in heat? I wonder if you can at least keep it together until she has gotten off, but you do seem to be terrible out of practice” Her low, raspy voice spurred me on even more. 

Demi was panting underneath me, her moans were becoming louder and deeper and I knew that she was close. 

Claire's hand was suddenly on my throat, gripping onto it as she reached her peak, right as Demi started shaking with her own orgasm. I was still holding myself back, I had not been allowed to cum but it was getting hard.

“Alex.. fuck.. go on, cum for us” Demi pressed out while she was still cumming, and that was all I needed to hear to let go. With Demi's hands still holding my hips in place and Claire’s hand still clutching my throat I came on Demi’s strap like I hadn’t in a very long time. Every inch of my body was tingling and my vision went blurry for a moment when Claire caught me and laid me back on the bed. 

I cuddled up under the blanket where I was joined by Demi after she had taken off the harness and Claire after she had put away the rest of the toys. 

My body was safely tucked between them and I was listening to Demi's heartbeat while lazily kissing Claire's neck. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

***********

The next time I woke up there was only one body next to me. The room was dark but I could immediately tell from the familiar smell of her hair and the strong, toned arms that it was Demi who was still holding me close to her. 

Claire must have slipped out soon after we had both fallen asleep.

My eyes got used to the light and I could see the leather collar laying on the nightstand next to my side of the bed. I hadn’t seen it in a very long time. It was the first official collar that I had ever worn, Claire had given it to me. 

All of this, the night together with both of us, had been her way of saying goodbye. 

As much as Claire and I loved each other, we both knew I no longer belonged to her. I had needed her to be safe for a long time, and she had gladly kept me that way. But I no longer did.

I was safe with Demi.