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This was the last time Leo went out on a solo mission. For the next month, anyway.
He was still figuring out how to hide this from Raph, and probably from Mikey, too, because this was… This was…
This was his own fault for getting into a fight with a snake yokai. He had assumed, completely baselessly, that as a warrior created to destroy humanity, that he had been infused with just about every vaccine known to man - and yokai - kind.
While he had gotten sick before, when he was much younger, he mostly dismissed it because, really, what were they going to do? Cure the common cold? Leo was pretty sure it developed into a new strain every year, anyway, so curing one version of it would do nada against the second.
That wasn’t important.
What was a problem was the immune-thing. Because there was no reason for Leo’s hand to shrivel up half an hour after he was bitten - and shortly thereafter victorious - into a messy, wrinkly, grey, ashy looking thing. His skin shrunk but crinkled, grasping at his bones enough that he could make out their shape as they twisted into a clawing motion.
He couldn’t bend his fingers anymore, either. It was like he didn’t have muscles anymore. He couldn’t see them, or even where they could be, so it was possible.
Leo, presently, was staring at the sewer grate in front of him, contemplating how to get in. One hand should be more than enough to pry it open, but if he even bumped his arm the wrong way…
It was already pretty bad. The greying, withering skin had crept up until it was almost to his elbow. It shook whenever he took a breath, and protested violently whenever it brushed against anything that wasn’t his plastron.
It terrified him.
And it wasn’t like he could portal home, either. He had both his swords with him, yeah, but to effectively portal about, he needed the ability to use both of them. To teleport, he only needed one, but then it was only ever to the other. Teleporting would be useless here. And it wasn’t exactly like he could hold his second katana.
So, manhole cover it was.
It seemed to leer at him, looming from the shadows cast by the buildings on either side of him. The street light, behind him, barely illuminated the back of Leo, and did nothing to give him a shadow that was darker than the buildings’.
However, he knew, from past experience, that no matter how dim the lighting was, his shell would catch attention. Especially after all the invasion, when all of New York was on the lookout for weird happenings, if anyone caught even a glimpse of his shell…
It’s the middle of the night, Leo reminded himself as he squatted down next to the cover, trying to ignore as the nerves in his crippled hand screeched as he turned it enough to nestle flat against his plastron. Nobody’s going to be looking.
He wondered, on that note, if his brothers had noticed he was missing and were looking for him. It had only been three hours, so it was unlikely, they usually gave an eight-hour grace period, but some sentiment would be nice.
Even if Leo didn’t - couldn’t - tell them he was going solo some nights. Despite it being a month since Leo was cleared from bed rest from the invasion, they still were fretting over him and worrying whenever he went topside.
And, hey, how was he going to become a great ninja if he didn’t learn how to fight on his own? How was he supposed to survive if there was another Kraang-like threat and Leo had to fight them mono-a-mono again? He wouldn’t survive.
So, training on his own, picking fights he could barely handle to test his limits, was his only option. His brothers probably wouldn’t approve. They had given Leo more than a few speeches about being careful with his personal safety, especially after Raph regaled how, exactly, Leo had gotten the key in the first place. Which chalked up the total number of times Leo had almost died – in their minds – on purpose to a lucky three.
If Raph saw his arm, he’d likely launch into a tirade and scold Leo. If Mikey did, he’d likely start crying and might even throw up. It was kind of funny, but Donnie was likely to scold Leo and throw up, and yet he was the only brother Leo felt comfortable with seeing his arm. Or, perhaps comfortable wasn’t the right word, but was at least okay with Donnie’s help.
He really hoped Donnie didn’t throw up. He didn’t want to do that to him.
Leo breathed out a grunt as he managed to wrestle the manhole cover off to the side, just enough for him to wiggle through it instead of shoving it all the way open. It was hard to move it just with one hand, but Leo managed regardless.
Even worse was balancing on the ladder while he reached up to try to slide the manhole cover into place. Leo managed to wrap one foot around one of the steps as he leaned backwards, his withered hand tugging uncomfortably as he dragged at the manhole cover.
Who was he kidding? Donnie would throw up if he had to look at his arm for more than a few seconds, and he’d definitely try to get Raph and Mikey to help, instead. Maybe Leo could convince him to get Case. The kid was the main person to take care of Leo, while he was recovering from the Kraang.
Case would probably be quiet about it, too; he had dealt with his own Sensei stumbling home, injured, enough times that nothing Leo did could really phase him anymore. Well, as long as it was done under the pretense of being normal.
“Com’n,” Leo grumbled as he finally managed to tug the manhole cover back into place. “You’ve never been this heavy before…” Except it had been, he knew. It had always been that heavy, but, typically, he had two hands to wrestle with it, or one of his other brothers handled it for him. Sometimes, he used entrances further away to get into the lair, simply to spend more time away.
That wasn’t exactly an option this time. Not with his arm.
Leo snuck a peek down at his forearm, and while he wasn’t surprised to see the grey had spread until it was halfway to his elbow, a wave of fear rolled over his tongue regardless. How long would it take to draw blood and synthesize a cure for whatever this was?!
Too long. Definitely too long.
“Okay,” Leo said with his next shaking breath, “game plan! Get a tourniquet to slow the blood flow.” It wouldn’t do much, in the grand scheme of things, but an extra hour was better than nothing. “Might be hard to apply with only one hand, but if Donnie helps…”
Except could he even subject Donnie to this? Cut out the middleman, and just immediately text Case. Who knew how close Case was to the lair, though… So. This was totally fine! Maybe he’d ask Donnie, really casually, just for a little bit of help. No specifications. And if Donnie blew him off like “Not right now, Nardo, I’m busy,” then Leo would text Case.
It was the best game plan he had, and this way, if Donnie found out about this arm further down the line, he could blame Leo for not being straight foward enough instead of getting frustrated with himself for dismissing Leo. Hopefully, anyhow. Sometimes his brothers played the blame-game too much for their own good.
As if Leo didn’t. Heh.
It was only a few minutes’ walk to the lair, but as Leo padded along, his arm went from feeling numb to having occasional bursts of pain when rubbed to being a constant pulsing, ripples of fire dancing up and down his arm. It even spread as far as his neck, even though the grey hadn’t reached there, yet. Maybe more was happening under the surface, or maybe that was just how nerves worked.
The grey, however, was starting to spread faster.
It was two inches from Leo’s elbow by the time he entered the lair, and it took all he had not to immediately high-tail it for the infirmary, but, instead, turn towards Donnie’s lab. He kept his pace brisk, anyway, eying his arm nervously iht every step. He could see the grey spreading, like little ants marching along, and a sizzling noise hit his ears with each wave of pain. Like something was burning.
It didn’t smell like burning, though. It smelled like rot.
“Donnie?” Leo asked, struggling to keep his voice from shaking as he peeked into the lab, thankful his brother had kept the door open. Donnie, meanwhile, was sitting, back turned to Leo, tinkering at his desk. “Can you, uh, help me with something?”
Donnie paused, just long enough to lift his head, but he didn’t turn around. “Not right now, Nardo, I’m busy.” And then he was driving back into whatever scrap pile he was experimenting with.
Normally, Leo would take this as an opportunity to run up, tackle Donnie, and pull whatever he was playing with out of his hands. This time, Leo took it as an opportunity to run to the infirmary.
Donnie’s absent-minded refusal was not surprising at all, and Leo couldn’t even bring himself to be offended or upset. With his constant bugging of Donnie, the dismissal was to be expected. He had no one to blame but himself, but, hey, at least he wouldn’t have to deal with Donnie throwing up.
…Not, this was far more personal than that. Possibly far more problematic.
He should’ve raised a bigger fuss.
It wasn’t until he reached the infirmary that Leo took note of his beating heart and realized that Oh. I shouldn’t have run. Way to get the blood moving, Leo. If the venom truly was injected into his bloodstream, then running was doing him no favours. The grey was up to his elbow, now, and was pushing past it even faster than earlier.
A curse slipped out of Leo’s mouth before he could help it.
“Deep breaths, deep breaths,” he chanted to himself, his good hand clasped to his chest to feel his heartbeat, waiting for it to soothe, going back to a steady rhythm. It at least quieted, but Leo didn’t think it slowed. It was still erratic, and this time? Leo was all too aware that his own fear was preventing him from calming it.
The longer Leo sat there, struggling for peace, the more he became aware that there was a very real possibility that he might lose the arm. Staring down at his crippled grey fingers, Leo wondered just how plausible it was that they could reverse it at all. The possibility that he’d lose it…
Frankly, Draxum was probably the only one who would know anything about this, and between trusting him and Leo’s arm… Why was the choice so difficult?
That was about when Leo remembered the tourniquet, and how important it was. He dove for the drawer he kept it stored in, reminding himself, not for the first time, to start carrying one in his fanny pack specifically for this type of thing.
If he had just called his family in the first place–
No. No, he couldn’t be a bother. He had annoyed them enough before the invasion, and as much as he wanted help, as much as he knew his brothers might scold him later, he just… It was a messy, troublesome situation.
It was difficult to unclasp and wind out the tourniquet with one hand, but Leo managed to do it by half-kneeling on it to keep it still while he fumbled with it. More than once, his bad arm brushed against his side, and for once? It hurt. Leo had to keep biting on his lip to stop from whimpering, and if it started to hurt any more…
He’d probably have to gag himself.
Leo managed, with plenty of fumbling, to get the tourniquet strap into the buckle, and slid it cautiously up his arm. As the rough material slid across rotten and ashen skin, Leo snapped his teeth down on his lip and tongue alike, hard enough to draw blood on the former, but thankfully not on the latter.
Leo reached out with his crippled hand to loop it around the legs of the infirmary bed, and even though it hurt, at least it kept his arm stiff enough that it was fairly easy to cinch down the tourniquet. Except.
He wound up shoving the strap into his mouth, pulling backwards with all his might, and clawing his teeth right down the strap, trying to get it as tight as he could. It was lucky there was already fabric in his mouth, or else he’d be screaming between his teeth. Even though the grey hadn’t visibly reached where the tourniquet sat, it still felt like it was fighting back, clawing at his insides and angry.
“Leo?”
Leo startled, twisting his head around to face the doorway, tourniquet still in his mouth and tightening even more at his sudden pivot, and he almost dropped the strap out of shock, but managed to recover. Standing in the doorway, one hand perched against the metal frame, Donnie stood, horror pulling across his face as he regarded Leo.
“What happened?!” Donnie spat as Leo mumbled out a greeting as best he was able to, coming to join Leo on the ground, falling into a kneel. “Geez, you’re so lucky I realized you were behaving abnormally, what even is this?!”
With a barely suppressed shudder, Donnie pulled the strap out of Leo’s mouth. Leo readjusted so that he was clinging to the legs of the bed with his good hand, bracing himself enough that Donnie was able to start tightening it without problems.
“Okay,” Leo breathed, tightening his jaw with every pull Donnie gave and loosening it whenever readjusted. “There was just– Ow! – some kind of… snake, I guess – Ow–?!”
“You’re an idiot, you are such an idiot!” Donnie seethed, and this time, Leo could clearly hear the tears in his voice.
Leo’s heart dropped down into his stomach, like a stone down a mountain cliff. Normally, Donnie would be nonverbal at this point. Just another reason that Leo shouldn’t have mentioned anything, shouldn’t have bothered him. Donnie’s reaction may have been delayed, but he was still here, dealing with it, and…
It both looked and sounded like Donnie was holding on just enough to still help Leo. As if he deserved it.
“I know,” Leo soothed best as he was able as Donnie’s hands shook. “Ow. I’m sorry, Dee, I didn’t mean to– Ow! It just kind of – owowow – happened!” Leo was able to properly breathe again as Donnie seemed to decide that it was tight enough, and he snapped it shut, squinting down at the grey. “And, I didn’t really want to bother you. I mean, it’s probably fine, it’s probably a temporary thing,” Leo didn’t believe that at all, but, hey, if he acted dumb, Donnie would be less irritated. Story of his life. “Donnie, if this is too much–?”
“Oh you bet I am contacting Casey Junior!” Donnie growled, squeezing Leo’s good hand so hard that it started to lose its blood circulation, too. “But that’s not going to help you now, is it?” Donnie flicked his goggles over his eyes, eyebrows furrowing as he glared down at Leo’s arm. “And I’m also getting Draxum; I don’t care what you say! Shell, maybe Raph and Mikey, too!”
No. “Don’t you dare get Raph and Mikey! It’s fine, Donnie! They’re too overprotective!”
“Oh, and you think I’m not?!” Donnie cried. “You think I don’t care?!”
“No! Of course you do!” Even though he shouldn’t. “But they wouldn’t–! They’d never let me go anywhere, ever again!”
“Oh, and you think you deserve that?”
“Well,” Leo huffed, silently realizing that wow, Donnie had him there. “Maybe not! Maybe, maybe not! Not after this, but–! But excuse me for wanting to do something with my life!”
“You should be thankful you have a life at all, instead of just squandering it!”
“...What?”
“Stop flailing.” Donnie scolded, suddenly seeming very interested in avoiding the topic and focusing on Leo’s arm. “You’re going to get your blood flowing again, and the tourniquet, though a nice thought, is not a fix-all. I’m going to call Draxum.”
Leo did not want him to call Draxum. But. But. That was kind of unimportant next to what Donnie had said. “Donnie, what…? What do you mean I–? What do you mean?!”
Donnie sighed, his phone already out and as he tapped on Draxum’s contact, but he hesitated long enough to look at Leo, expression tired and withdrawn. His next words were strained, quiet, and Leo knew that as much as Donnie was trying to hold on, he only had a few seconds left before he lost it. “You’re lucky to be alive, Leo… After the Kraang… And now you’re being reckless and you barely asked for help…”
Donnie fell silent, shaking his head, and opted against calling Draxum, instead sending him a quick text that Leo didn’t bother looking at. He turned his back on Donnie and went to rummage elsewhere.
He found one of their needles in a drawer, pulling it out to poke at his finger, attempting to draw a sample. The puncture point sizzled, but nothing came out. A pungent stench stung the air, and Leo’s hand lifted to snap over his muzzle, and Donnie made a choking noise that he swallowed down immediately.
It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t.
Leo was grateful. He was so insanely grateful that his brothers had saved him, and he was alive, and all of that jazz. But he wasn’t squandering his life. He was trying to get better, trying to better himself, so he was a better fighter, a better leader, a better… Everything else.
Leo just… Wanted to be worth something. And maybe there had been a bit of pain, but… Y’know. Beauty was pain, no pain no gain, all those other idioms and whatnot, but…
He wasn’t wasting anything. He wasn’t a prodigal, he was doing his best. Did Donnie think he wanted to die? Did the rest of his family, too? He just wanted to be good. For them. To live a good life. For them.
Shell.
Shell.
His arm burned.
Leo hissed out a light wheeze from between his teeth, lugs buckling right out from underneath him. He crashed to the ground hard, good hand reaching up to squeeze his forearm, right above the tourniquet.
Donnie was there in the next moment, an arm fully warped around Leo’s shoulders, careful of his bad arm. Leo met his eyes with nothing more than a weak cough. Donnie’s gaze told a story of such intense heartbreak and fear that Leo…
It made Leo scared, too.
As if he wasn’t already afraid.
It amplified it by tenfold, and a pit, an ocean, widened in Leo’s chest and soul. He couldn’t exactly help it when the fear became too much, and he realized, with a sinking feeling, that “I’m not–! My arm is going to–! I’m going to lose it!”
Donnie didn’t seem to know what to do with that, either. And even if he did… Somehow, Leo didn’t think he’d have much to say.
(:)
“How long ago did you text Draxum?” Mikey asked, anxiously, only ten minutes later, looking Leo over from where the slider now lay on the infirmary bed. As Donnie signed the time table to Mikey, the youngest glanced at the clock. “I’m going to call him, then. Ain’t nobody gets away with ghosting us!”
“Has Case given you an ETA?” Leo asked Donnie, his voice still shaking and straining, reaching out to accept the purple phone pushed into his hand. It told him that Case definitely hadn’t sent an ETA, but he had given his XYZD coordinates. And seeing as how he was in New Jersey…
It could be anywhere from half an hour to a full hour on foot, even with his inhuman stamina. Neither time frame would be fast enough. By the time he got here…
“Dad! Draxum!” Mikey shouted into his own phone, and Leo snapped to attention, even if he was not the recipient. “Get your behind to the infirmary stat! Leo’s been venomed!” There was hardly half a second between Mikey finishing his rant and hanging up the phone, but it was full of Draxum’s confused spluttering nonetheless.
“I’m so mad at you!” April snipped as soon as the line fell silent, standing a little distance away from Donnie and scowling down at Leo. It was lucky she had been here, sparring with Raph and Casey – the girl, Cassandra, and not the boy, Case – instead of at her apartment. It wasn’t that bad of a commute, but Leo was thankful for it, anyway.
“You could've called!” Raph agreed, on Leo’s opposite side. “You–! You know you could’ve called, right?! We would’ve come running, and we wouldn’t have been upset!”
“Maybe a little upset.” April corrected.
“A lot upset!” Raph agreed, somehow switching from nervous panic to full-blown fury in a matter of two seconds. “What were you thinking?!”
“I wasn’t–!” Leo tried, in weak defense, but it sounded hollow and dishonest to his own ears, so he stuttered it off and just shook his head weakly.
“You wouldn’t be a bother.” Splinter reassured, kind as ever, seeming to read Leo’s mind immediately, patting his good hand. His full attention, however, was fully transfixed on Leo’s bad arm, and he looked queasy over it, too. “We want to help you, my son. No matter what you may think.”
Leo nodded wearily, turning his attention down to stare down at his plastron, keeping his family in his peripheral. “...okay.”
“This is a mark of a fearsome warrior!” Casey whooped, squinting down at his bad arm, but, surprisingly, not touching it. “Imagine what this will look like when it scars! You should be very proud of such an endeavor!”
“I’m not sure it will scar, Cassandra.” April put in, putting an arm in front of Casey to draw her backwards. She sent Leo a sympathetic look. “Draxum better have one heck of a cure.”
Leo opened his mouth to respond, probably with a bitter undertone because he didn’t trust Draxum as far as he could throw him, but as if summoned, a purple rectangular void folded out in the middle of the infirmary. Draxum strolled through, a medical black bag underneath his arm.
His expression was already perfectly grim, lips pursed. He looked from Mikey to Casey, and then his gaze fell on Leo, and somehow his expression turned even more sour. “How did you manage this?!”
‘It’s rot,’ Donnie signed.
Splinter’s head snapped up as the motion, and, gaze never leaving Donnie’s face, he translated as Donnie fell into a period of signs. “Donatello says that it is rot. He is not sure there is anything left other than bone. And it is still spreading, so if those symptoms help you…”
“Of course it does.” Draxum snorted, discarding the black bag off to the side. “I knew exactly what it was as soon as I saw it. In fact, there is only one type of venom that allows such quick decay to occur!” Draxum declared, pinching Leo’s ashen arm between two fingers.
Pain laced through Leo’s frayed nerves, and he whined out a gasp, but Draxum waited until he was satisfied with his analysis to drop his arm. When he did, it was careless, probably unthinking, because it hurt even more when his hand flopped back onto the mattress.
At the broken cry Leo released, Casey lunged forward to tackle Draxum backwards, veering him away from Leo. Raph’s immediate reaction was to hunch over Leo protectively, and both Mikey and Splinter snarled defensively. April had her bat drawn within half a second, and there was already a gun in Donnie’s hands.
“As I was saying,” Draxum grumbled, scooping Casey up by her scruff and holding her at arm’s length. “This is most likely the work of the Mi-Waa Viper. It can turn you into nothing more than rot and bones within a day. And unfortunately for you, you did a splendid job accelerating the process.”
“Um, excuse you?” Leo scoffed, even though Draxum was kind of right. His panicking and running certainly hadn’t done him any favours. Neither had his crying fit, no matter how brief. But hey, he got the tourniquet, and that had to count for something! “Look what I did!” He gestured to said tourniquet, bound tightly under his shoulder.
“What is that?” Draxum scoffed, not looking impressed as he squinted down on it. “Decoration?”
“It slows blood flow.” Leo scowled, reminded again, and yet not for the first time, why he hated Draxum so much. He was actually kind of offended that Draxum didn’t see his brilliance. “Y’know, so the snake-juice doesn’t kill me? I’m smarter than you think!”
“Fascinating.” Draxum stated, reaching out to poke it. At Leo’s flinch, Splinter bristled and Casey snapped her head over to bite Draxum’s finger. Draxum cringed and shrunk back, but his voice was calm throughout it. “We yokai use ancient spells instead of… those. Your technology, though primitive, is impressive. We’ll need to move it further up for the amputation.”
Leo’s entire family moved as one, stepping between Leo and Draxum, and circling closer together.
As for Leo… He had known it was coming. He still did know.. But he… He was still scared. The thought terrified him.
“Woah,” April snarled, her anger directed fully at Draxum. It felt good to be defended. “You’re jumping into that pretty quickly, aren’t cha, Barry? Eager much?”
“This is something we need to talk about first!” Raph agreed, voice just as steely, as he tilted his head backwards to frown with worry at Leo. “And it’s Leo’s decision.”
“Fine, talk.” Draxum shrugged, a bite to his voice as he turned to leave, arms crossed, against a wall. “But I am not here to lollygag.” And, a bit more quietly, “That’s one thing the venom and I have in common.”
There were a lot of things that Draxum and the venom had in common. Like how Leo would enjoy life a lot more if neither of them existed. But, of course, Leo couldn’t say that without Mikey getting upset, no matter how grumpy he currently was towards Draxum.
Besides, Draxum’s sobering remark reminded them of the timetable the venom presented. Leo had almost forgotten, too.
“There’s got to be another way.” Mikey declared, huddling close into his family, one arm firmly wrapped around Leo’s shoulders. “I mean, Draxum, you brought a full-on medical bag, isn’t there medicine in there? At all?”
“Of course there are. But it’s for more common types of venom.” Draxum snarked right back. “However, the blue one just happened to get bit by the rarest type of viper. One that ordinary yokai do not know the cure to.”
“Well,” Leo prodded, unleashing his secret weapon; heavy adulation. “You’re not exactly ordinary, are you?”
“Certainly not!” Draxum preened, falling hook, line, and sinker. “But the only person who knows the cure is the Healing Sage, an ancient Yokai who is gifted with knowledge of every medical remedy. And I can assure you, you will not be granted an audience with him in time.”
“Then we’ll make an audience.” April threatened, thumping the bat into her palm, a wicked gleam in her eye.
“No.” Draxum shook his head. “Even if you portaled to him, there is an ancient mystic blocker surrounding his residence, and there is a line of Yokai outside his home. If you dare to cut, he will refuse service to you. There are many Yokai in just as perilous – or even more so – situations than the blue one is in. Sometimes they die in line, because he does not skip ahead. It is not worth the risk.”
“Then we kill the next Yokai in line!” Casey suggested, cracking her knuckles. April looked tempted to fist-bump her.
“Absolutely not.” Draxum piped up.
“Great, so, uh, no murder, no cutting, no doctoring wizard.” Raph determined, ticking it off on his fingers. “Any other ideas?”
“Ummm, Casey Jr said that it was my mystic hands that sent him back in time.” Mikey pointed out, wiggling his fingers. “Maybe, if I have abilities connected to time, then… I can slow down the, uh, poison? Then we would have enough time to go to the healing guy.”
“Healing Sage.” Draxum spoke up.
“No, absolutely not.” Leo huffed, pulling the leader card as he pushed himself fully upright to glare at Mikey, careful of his bad hand. “In case you forgot, your future, experienced self kind of died doing that. And! You promised you wouldn’t do anything like that again. No portals, no time, no nothing. Not for anybody.”
Donnie and Raph looked at each other over Leo’s legs, and Splinter was staring very hard at Leo’s arm. Casey whipped her head around to glare at Draxum while April strangled the air like a madwoman, but. Leo knew what they were thinking. They were considering it. He wouldn’t let them, though.
The only thing that scared him worse than the quickly-approaching amputation was his brothers getting hurt. Sometimes, he wished they really did think he was a burden. Maybe then, and only then, they would stop trying to sacrifice themselves for him.
“If you even try,” Leo hissed, “I’ll cut my arm off myself.”
And even though nobody in his family was speaking in the first place, it suddenly got deathly silent. All of his siblings – with the addition of Splinter and Casey – were suddenly looking everywhere but at each other and Leo. Draxum, on the other hand, was staring at Leo with such interest that Leo felt something akin to disgust worming its way through his chest.
The last thing he wanted was to impress Draxum.
“Look, I don’t want to…” Leo swallowed, turning his attention back to his brothers. “I don’t want to lose my arm. I mean, who would? But… I’m not going to let you guys get hurt, or, I dunno, hurt other people for my sake. I don’t think anything we do would work, anyway. Not without serious consequences that I can’t let you pay.”
‘That’s stupid.’ Donnie said with such vehemence that Leo turned his attention back to his arm, nibbling the inside of his lip. Donnie wasn’t having it, however, reaching out to cup Leo’s chin and tilt his face back up, and then resumed signing. ‘You can’t expect us to sit around, doing nothing, while you are hurt.’
“There’s nothing to do.” Leo argued. “Listen, y’know, Case said that future me had a robot arm. So he was an amputee too! And it’s not… ideal. I really, really hate this, actually, and–!” Ah, those were tears, cascading down Leo’s cheeks, and he frantically reached up to scrub them.
Splinter, silently reached up to gently rub Leo’s cheek, thumb softly wiping away Leo’s tears.
“Thanks,” Leo sniffled, inhaling as sharply as he could to try to rid himself of his tears. Mikey’s arm squeezed him a bit together while Leo struggled for breath. “I– I mean, yeah. It’s gonna… It’s really going to suck.”
“I’m… I’m sure Donnie is going to make you a prosthetic and everything!” Raph reassured, and Donnie nodded rigorously. “And we don’t exactly want to cut your arm off, either, bud. And I know that doesn’t seem as important next to you losing your… Y’know.”
“I would hate to cut off your arm,” Leo laughed, a breathless, broken sob pulling itself out of his throat. “So we’re even! I just… Portals?”
“Portals will be tricky for a while.” April agreed, easing over to sit next to him on the bed, holding his hand and stroking the back of his hand. “But you’ll figure it out. We can keep a sword on us so you can teleport. No portals necessary!”
“And I will proudly be the one to remove your arm!” Casey reassured, and wow. That was not the type of encouragement that Leo needed from his co-parent. But hey, if she was willing, and it wasn’t one of his immediate family, which was the most important thing… “I’ve dealt out plenty of bodily harm before! Nothing phases the great Cassandra Mayday Jones anymore!”
And then, before anyone could comment on that, she continued, a bit more quietly, “I’m going to call CJ. He should know.” Casey turned away from the group, hitting a few quick buttons on her phone. Knowing that her phone was permanently set to speaker, the whole group didn’t utter a word, keeping their ears pricked for Case’s voice to come on.
It only rang twice before he picked up, and he spoke almost immediately. “Mom? What’s going on, is sensei–?”
“Still in one piece!” Casey reassured, holding up the phone to reveal it was on facetime, and proudly showing off Leo. Leo raised his good hand and waved, but Case immediately narrowed in on Leo’s bad arm, and his whole face fell. “Anyway,” Casey continued merrily, bringing her phone back down in front of her face. “We have determined that it is safer if he is in two pieces.”
“Oh.” Case said, shortly, as if that was all he had left to say. There was a long pause, Casey thoughtful enough to give him time to think about that, and then the younger said, slowly, “I’m not going to get there in time, am I?”
Casey, not good at comforting and fully aware of it, immediately pivoted and thrust the phone into Leo’s face, expression tight. “It’s for you.”
“Thanks.” Leo said, once again struggling to sound calm, accepting the phone from her. He clicked off of the speaker, smiling at Case’s horrified face the whole time, the kid running on the other side and fading in and out of focus, but everyone leaned in to eavesdrop, anyway. “Hey, Case… How you holding up?”
“You sound like Raph talking to Donnie.” Mikey stage-whispered to Leo, and Leo shooed him away, one hand swatting his face.
“I’m… Fine. How about you, Master Leonardo?” Case asked. “You’re the one who’s about to… Anyway.”
“I’m doing okay. Not looking forward to it, heh!” Leo laughed nervously, curling half-away from his brothers, trying to get some scrap of privacy, but he started to roll onto his bad arm and had to roll back with a staggered gasp. “How did your, uh, Leo handle it?”
“I don’t… Really know.” Case admitted it. “Not the original reaction. It happened when I was a baby.” He paused for a moment, then slowly offered, “Well, his arm broke a few times. And Professor Donatello had to fix it a few times, but he never really…. Especially seemed to care. He got upset a few times, but I think it was more of because he was out of action for a day or two and not because he was reliving that whole… process.”
“Hopefully I get to… that point sooner rather than later.” Leo prayed, and they shared a quiet laugh. Shell, he loved Case. His best friend was just about the coolest person out there, and he didn’t seem to care about Leo’s own stupidity; just about how he’d handle the consequences. “But, yeah, I’ll be okay. Eventually, I dunno.”
“I’m going to hug you so hard when I get home.” Case promised.
“Are you crying?!” Casey seethed, jumping back over to snatch away the phone. “CJ, if you don’t stop right now and take a breather, you will fall off the rooftops, so help me–!”
“Okay, okay…” Case placated, voice coming back into high definition as Casey hit the speaker button. The back and forth between volume almost made Leo want to laugh. “I’m just… Promise me you’ll take care of him?”
“Obviously.” Casey scoffed. “Say goodbye, everyone!”
“Bye, Casey Junior…” Everyone chorused, waving at the phone, and Case awkwardly waved back as Casey hung up on him, pocketing the phone.
“Alright, well.” Casey declared, turning back around, hands on her hips and meaning business. “Let’s get on with it, shall we? Who’s sword am I using?”
“Geez,” April grumbled, pushing her back with one hand again. “And I thought Draxum was eager.”
“It’s cool, it’s cool.” Leo reassured, looking down at his bad arm, and daring to reach out and poke it. And, yeah, that hurt. Just as much as when he touched it then when anyone else did. “Ow! Okay! Okay, yeah, let’s readjust the–! The thingy!”
Donnie reached out to take the tourniquet, but April gently nudged him to the side. Leo couldn’t help but notice how grateful Donnie looked, running a hand down his face as he shuffled to the side.
Splinter reached out to grab Leo’s bad shoulder and side, keeping it still while April gently worked the tourniquet free, and his arm hurt the whole time. Leo breathed out a choked noise, reaching up his finger for him to bite into. Raph looked tempted to pull it out of his mouth, but there wasn’t exactly anything else for Leo to bite, except for Raph’s fingers, and… Well.
“Oh.” April muttered, looking at the edge of the grey. “That’s spreading, uh. Freakishly fast. Um, okay, let’s see, I’m going to move this as far up the arm as I can. Just… try to remain calm?”
“Mm.” Leo grunted right back, around the skin in his mouth. He was, decidedly, not feeling calm.
“Here,” Draxum offered, and without even specifying what he was doing, a magical purple circle appeared around his hands, and with a twist of his wrists, streaks ran through the circle, looking almost like spider webs. Leo flinched as he approached, but Draxum wasn't deterred, sending a spiraling circle of purple onto Leo’s arm. Almost immediately, the pain around his shoulder decreased, and while the rest of his arm was in agony… A quick peek revealed that the grey had slowed down.
‘I hate magic.’ Donnie aggressively stated.
“Wow, that’s some nice voodoo.” April congratulated, carefully moving the tourniquet further up Leo’s arm. “I’m… going to put this on again, though, just in case. Not that I don’t trust magic but… Y’know. Fickle stuff.”
Draxum didn’t say much, but he looked absolutely insulted.
April gradually tightened the tourniquet again, getting it as tight as she could casually, and then, before Leo could fully prepare, she tightened it with all her strength, and ow! How did she manage to make the tourniquet hurt worse than his arm?!
“That solved one problem,” Leo grumbled, removing his finger enough to say as much, and April gave him a funny look. He didn’t specify, though, and she didn’t ask.
“Okay, um…” Mikey looked around frantically, and wondered, “Hey, so, what is Casey going to use to…?”
“She can use my swords.” Leo offered, and everyone shot him a horrified look. “What else is she going to use? One of Mikey’s good kitchen knives?” Everyone shifted nervously. “Bonk it with a stick? Her teeth? Yeah, thanks, I think my swords are good. I’ve gotten my blood on them before, it’s no big deal. Or, y’know. I can make new ones!”
Casey snagged up one of the swords from where Donnie had set them off to the side, slinging it over her shoulder. As she approached, Leo carefully scooted himself back down. Splinter took his good hand in his, and Mikey rounded around the bed to set his hands on Leo’s shoulders. Raph, meanwhile, put a single hand on his chest.
“Why can’t we give him painkillers?” Mikey asked, sounding so, so small, but already sounding like he knew the answer. There wasn’t enough time for them to set in. Maybe if they had given them to him earlier… But they hadn’t.
Everyone looked at Mikey sadly, and that was all the confirmation he needed. Mikey looked back at Leo, and smiled as brightly as he could.
Tears rose up in Leo’s eyes, ears starting to ring, but he tried to swallow it all down. Be tough in front of his brothers, y’know?
But the fear was quickly building up again, hot and fast. Leo squeezed his eyes shut again, reflexively, the anticipation too much to bear. Raph, Mikey, and Splinter pressed a little more firmly against Leo, their own worry encouraging his.
He didn’t hear Casey approach, but he did feel the blade of his sword touch his shoulder, Casey calculating the swing. Dimly, Leo wondered how Donnie would stomach it. If someone would send him out of the room, just in case.
“Our kid’s going to kill me for this.” Casey muttered, far above, and Leo couldn’t help but appreciate the attempt to lighten the mood.
“No, he won’t.” Leo whined, furrowing his eyebrows and hoping Casey got the picture. “He’ll be glad to have a–?!”
The blade vanished for a split second. Leo’s heart beat once. Then a second time, quicker, then the sword was back. Gone, just as fast. It took his arm with it.
Leo got to think, with numbing clarity, Is this what a guillotine is like? And then his shoulder exploded.
The agony was blinding, white filling his vision faster than a blink. Iron and static tainted his mouth, his tongue, every inch of him a poisonous mess. He choked over air, trying to find purchase through the ringing and why was everything ringing?!
Leo screamed, he thought, except he still couldn’t hear himself. Every bit of air in his lungs evaporated, and a choked sob ripped out of his throat. Fire burned at his shoulder, and dry ice danced through his arm.
Something slimy crushed his head.
No, nono, not again! Leo whined, desperately, kicking out against the tentacles, and–!
The white faded to black.
(:)
Leo woke up with a start, a scream still on his lips, but no pain to speak of. Maybe a dull throbbing, but that was just discomfort. Nothing life-threatening.
It took him a moment to recall why he was screaming; why the world was tainted on the edges. Why he was in the infirmary. Why there was blood on the ceiling. But when he did…
Wait, blood on the ceiling? It splattered that high?!
Leo tore his gaze away from the last remnants of red, circling his attention down to his stump of an arm. There was more cut off than he thought. A solid two or three extra inches were just gone. He didn’t even have a shoulder anymore!
He reached out, daring to poke it, and almost immediately, a wave of pain gushed over him. The soreness turned to agony within half a second. Leo fell back with a yelp, and the pain subsided.
Someone cleared their throat, and Le snapped his head around to find Donnie, sitting on the edge of the room, by one of the counters. When Leo met his gaze, Donnie sent him a deadpan expression.
“Why,” Donnie asked, “is your first response to touch your newly amputated arm?!”
“Hey, you’re verbal again!” Leo enthused, almost holding out his missing arm for a high-five, but managing to catch himself at the last moment. He held out his good hand, instead, but Donnie did not move. He let it drop. “Usually that takes a while, though… How long have I…?”
“About two days.” Donnie shrugged, only then edging closer. “We hooked you up with an IV, and painkillers immediately, but. We kind of realized the venom was still kind of spreading, so. There’s even less of your arm left. Just in case you noticed.”
Ah. “Yeah.” Leo glanced back at the stump. “Thanks, Dee. How did you all…?”
“Well, apparently, the whole ordeal was enough for both Raphael and Papa to throw-up as well, but I was too busy vomiting to notice. Nausea is genetic, who knew? Mikey ended up crying, and try as she might to deny it, April was dissociating while hugging him. Which left…”
“Draxum. And Casey. Great.”
“Yes. But worry not! Draxum didn’t try anything; Casey Senior was watching him too closely.” Donnie reassured, trying to be subtle as he and his chair scooted closer. “She’s weirdly protective of you.”
“Yeah, well, I’m her future kid’s godfather; she better care.”
“Yes, especially in the absence of your self-preservation.”
“Okay, what?” Leo growled, running one hand down his face before glaring at Donnie. “You keep saying stuff like that, but not specificing! Donnie, do you really think I want to be hurt?!”
“I would love to say ‘ no!’ But, alas, my idiot brother, on the verge of losing his arm, comes, asks for my assistance, but does not specify on what, and then leaves! He gives no inkling that I should be worried, either! He just–!” Donnie snapped his mouth shut.
The air was thick and stagnant.
“I wouldn’t have known you were hurt.” Donnie said, quieter, eyes flickering up to Leo’s stub then back down to his own shaking hands. “My only clue was the fact that you didn’t take it upon yourself to bother me. You just.. Left.”
“Dee…”
“And of course! I went back and forth on it, good ol’ classic Donatello. ‘Well, maybe he’s learning!’ ‘Donatello, he’s finally maturing!’ But.” Donnie’s tired expression turned into a glare. “I knew you hadn’t. Not like that. You may have matured after the Kraang, Leo! But in the wrong direction! You won’t even tell us what’s wrong!”
Leo knew it was a weak excuse, but he tried anyway; “I… did ask for help.”
“Sure. But you didn’t tell me why you needed help. Specifics? Gone. Kapoot! Maybe if you… If you had come to me or Mikey, we could’ve gotten Draxum here, quicker. Maybe the Healing Sage would’ve been able to treat you in time! And you wouldn’t be…”
Without an arm. Useless. A true burden. Leo’s mind unhelpfully supplied. And then, with building horror, Leo realized what, exactly, he had done to Donnie. “And… And now you… You have to make an arm. For me.”
Donnie’s face told him that while it wasn’t strictly correct, it was close enough to hurt. “That’s not… That’s not the problem!”
“Then what is?!”
“The problem isn’t that I have to make an arm! It’s that it’s necessary in the first place!”
“Isn’t that the same–?”
“No! It’s not! I like making you guys things! Being wanted or needed is great, but–! But I don’t like my inventions to be necessary. Helpful, handy. But not like this. Never like this.” Donnie stood there, hands curled, looking down at his feet. His chest heaved for air and Leo…
Leo felt guilty.
He didn’t want to hurt Donnie. Not like this. He just wanted to distance himself. ANd that still sounded bad, but if he wasn’t even a facet in their minds, then… Then there would be nothing else to worry about.
Except there was.
Because five minutes ago, he had an arm. Or, rather, two days ago. And now he had nothing but his own guilt. It was his fault Donnie was so upset, and that he had worried his family, and that Casey…
Casey.
Casey had removed his arm. Casey may have volunteered, but she had still subjected herself to that. And, yeah, maybe she was more jaded than Leo was – good in some ways, bad in others – but he knew he certainly wouldn’t be able to do what she did. He wondered, distantly, how bad she felt. If she felt bad at all. She certainly would never admit it, but–
His arm was just gone, and it was his fault everyone had to deal with it! The worst part was that, right now, he just felt numb about it. He didn’t feel terrified or anything. The stump of his arm may itch, but it was hardly even a factor in his head.
What was most prominent was what he had done. Half his family had thrown up over it, and the other half had shut down enough that Leo was half-certain he was going to hide his stump for a while, pretending like everything was fine, and…
“Casey Junior has been reassuring us that you’ll be okay.” Donnie said, busily, turning around to fiddle with something on the counter, avoiding Leo’s gaze. “And, of course, we all believe him. It’s going to be tough, but this isn’t going to make you any different than you’ve always been. You realize that, right?”
Leo’s hand hovered over his stump, but didn’t grab it. He didn’t say anything.
Donnie spun around, and locked Leo with the most concerned expression he could manage, which was actually quite impressive, all things considered. “Leo. You’re okay.”
“I’m hurting you guys.” Leo whispered, in a half-wail, trying desperately to choke down his guilt and sorrow, but some of it still bubbled up into his voice. “I should have just– And now I don’t have an arm, and you guys have to deal with that! And I’m going to just have to sit around, not helping, not doing anything, and not–!”
“Stop.” Donnie snapped, voice rising into a growl. “Stop. Right now.”
Leo fell first with a snap of his jaw, staring at a distant corner.
“You’re not– Useless.” Donnie tried, approaching Leo slowly, like he was a rapid animal, or just something fragile. Both made Leo feel wrong. “You’re just… This is just a tough time right now. A, uh, learning opportunity? Now you know if something like this happens again, you call us right away–?”
“I don’t want it to happen again!” Leo cried. “Nobody wants anything like this to happen again! That’s not a good lesson– Shell! Donnie–!”
“Ah, mood swings.” Donnie deadpanned, and for some reason, that just made Leo angry.
“No! Shut up, it’s not a stupid mood swing, it’s just–! I don’t know, but it’s not a mood swing! Because guess what, Donnie! Guess freakin’ what!”
“...what.”
“This isn’t–!” He gestured dramatically at his missing arm. “This isn’t even a problem yet! I’m sure I’ll have a panic attack, and throw a fit like a sissy baby, and get upset later–! And I hate that it’s gone, but I don’t even care about that! It’s just–! It’s causing problems for you! Because I didn’t say anything! You–! And I can’t even help, so I’m just–!”
“You aren’t useless, Leo! Stop saying that!” Donnie snapped right back. “I know it’s tough right now, or it’s going to be tough! But I’m–! You can still do things! Maybe differently, sure, but it’s not like…”
“You’re all angry at me.” Leo growled, narrowing his eyes. “And I’m angry at myself. I messed up. Big time. And now everyone’s paying the consequence, not just me! That’s not–! How is that fair?! And, y’know what the worst part is?” He didn’t wait for a response, but Donnie didn’t look like he wanted to say anything. “It’s all my fault!”
Donnie had an expression like he wanted to say something but was physically holding himself back.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what.
“You can say it.” Leo grumbled, curling his legs up to his chest. He made to wrap both arms around his legs, but something pulled, and he remembered just why he couldn’t. “We all know it’s true.”
Donnie was very slow as he slowly rounded around the bed, face pinched and slightly braced as he carefully lowered himself onto the mattress beside Leo, pressed against his good arm instead of his stub. Leo held his breath as Donnie’s arms stiffly wrapped around him, tucking his chin over the lid of Leo’s shell. One of his hands rubbed slow, careful patterns on Leo’s back, and Leo could feel his eyes scrunch close against his cheek.
“It kind of is.” Donnie agreed, “but that’s… That’s okay. We’ll handle it, like we always do. And you… You’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay. Everyone’s… They’re all going to be relieved you’re awake, and you’ll get squeezed to death, and… Nobody’s mad. Just worried.”
“This is gonna start sucking pretty soon, isn’t it?” Leo sobbed, leaning into Donnie as much as he could, free hand clinging to his plastron directly below his missing arm, mourning the loss of warmth his arm used to provide.
“It is.” Donnie grumbled, and that wasn’t reassuring at all. “But we’ll be here the whole time. I promise, okay?”
Leo nodded numbly, but didn’t dare complain.
(:)
Later on, once Donnie informed the masses and when everyone else was in-route, Case burst into the room, locking on immediately into Leo, a huge smile upon his face as he burst out “Master Leonardo!”
He jumped right into the infirmary bed with Leo, tangled him up in a giant hug, and turned his attention to Leo’s arm. He stared at his arm like it was something to be celebrated, and not something horrifying.
And, frankly, that expression was the best thing Leo had seen all week.