Chapter Text
All she does is lie on the bed in the white room where she has been confined since her arrival ... her hair light silk splayed around her. However, her once bright green eyes are now dulled. In contrast with the walls, her clothes and the snow-white sheets remind her that she does not belong here... Although it would be complicated and even negligent in letting her leave under the conditions, she finds herself in: she remembers nothing. Not even her name. Where she comes from. Her age. What she did before coming here. Nothing.
Moreover, it is still too early to guarantee her safety. She will have to spend at least a month here. Her friends have routine checks to see her state of health and determine whether or not she is not a danger to herself: or whether she would regain her memories.
A scrawl of notes on a page of her daily analyzed behaviors.
>During the day, she gets out of bed suddenly and walks around the room. Not doing anything in particular,
>She is shy and to herself. No reactions are given to anyone in particular.
> Sometimes, she seems lost in thought, searching…but soon gives up and returns to bed. Defeated.
Ino has tried her mind-body technique and nothing. "She's like a blank canvas," she quotes.
Days go by in a constant search of not knowing where to start the way to find what she has lost...
Sakura's attention is pulled when the door to her room opens; she sees two men walk through, one much larger than the other. Driven by a strange, compelling force, she hops off the hospital bed and strides to the figures slowly but stops before reaching them.
He nears her, and she can now see him. His white hair is almost gray, and some strands shined silver from the light that seeped into the room.
She is frozen to her spot, unable to comprehend the reason why. She feels the magnetic presence of the stranger, and at the same time, she is struck with a sense of déjà vu. Just who is he? Why does he seem so familiar and... warm?
She looked at the man, who seemed frozen beside the white-haired man. He does not look like any of the other men she met. He is tall enough to tower over her; he has light blond hair, messy and falling over his face, giving him a somewhat roguish, attractive look.
He is looking at her with half-lidded cerulean eyes, and his mouth is curved the tiniest bit upwards as if he is glad to see her but is holding himself back in a wary manner. His attire, which consisted of a long white coat with red flames shaped licked at the bottom, he wore a black outfit underneath, suited him so well that it made her breath catch in her throat.
The shorter man approaches only an inch away from her. He was much shorter than the blond but still taller than her when his smile became soft and stretched wider. "Sakura..." he says, relief and happiness coloring his tone. "How are you?."
She blinks. She was still not used to hearing her name, which she felt no connection to, "...Im fine—Do you also know me?"
"ah, yes, we are-"
"Hokage-sama and Hatake Kakashi," Sakura injected.
Naruto scratched the back of his head in mild awkwardness. Kakashi freezes; it doesn't feel right to hear Sakura call them, him in that way, strange and unfamiliar. It's not like she knew them now, not anymore. He tries feebly to swallow due to guilt and shock.
She does not notice his lingering pause and tension in the air and merely says, "Is that not it? I apologize. I overheard Lady Tsunade call you this."
Kakashi's eyes go wide in surprise. "Wait... It is alright, Sakura; you can call us by name if you would like?"
Her delicate features seemed to stiffen a lump formed in her throat instantly.
Naruto speaks up. "...Sakura-chan," he breathes out, his voice feather-light.
She looks at him, puzzled. "Y-yes...?" Sakura felt her nerves shake within; she felt so unattached to be called with such familiarity.
"uh... It's fine. Just call us; anything you are comfortable with?" Naruto says eagerly, quickly wanting to change the atmosphere.
Sakura looks at him in mild confusion before mentally shrugging it off. "Yes, thank you."
She turns away from them, returning to sit at her bedside.
"Are you here to ask me questions like the others?" Her voice was soft and childlike, unlike the Sakura they knew before.
"We're here to keep you company. We also brought some things for you to do. I can imagine how bored you can get in this room." Kakashi says tenderly.
Tsunade and the others had told him strictly to take it slow. Seeing that Sakura has amnesia and knowing her initial reactions to those revealing their relationship with her seriously affected her, Namely the session with her parents. They were strangers to her now. She panicked and shrank into fear she couldn't give them what they needed back, 'their daughter.' She didn't want them revisiting her, and it had been decided that it was best not to rush things lest they want her brain to go into overdrive.
The thought was almost too much for him. If he were to reveal such an intimate relationship they once had, she would push him away, not wanting to see him again. Kakashi isn't one to be selfish, even though it made his chest ache. He would bear it because this wasn't about him; she was suffering, and he would hold hope for both of them.
"Here, I brought you some books to occupy your time," Kakashi handed her three stacked books.
She roved over the books he had passed her. Sakura gave him a pretentious smile, cautious even. "Thank you, Mr.Hatake." She nodded in return.
Naruto Chipped in. "Here, I got you a little something, too." He pulls something thick under his coat and holds out his hand with a book to her. Sakura takes it carefully.
The book was slightly different from the rest, her hand traced over the cover was covered in shined black leather, and gold curled trimming framed the front in back.
The pages were creamy and thick. She opened it to the front page where she found a neatly placed image in the center; the cursive writing at the top read 'Team 7'.
"Ah," Naruto interrupts, "it's better if you look through it on your own, for um, your comfortability."
Kakashi's eyes widened in surprise, and he finally said, "Are you sure you should be giving her something like this? Is it not too…personal?"
"Oh, um, I'm sorry. I didn't think-" Naruto felt he had already messed up.
"It is alright,"; she said softly, "I think this is what I needed; it's hard enough to speak to everyone face to face" She paused and went on to say almost inaudibly, "When they give me those eyes, the one where they need me..."
"To be someone they used to know," she whispered tiredly.
Kakashi felt guilty. Looking down quickly, he pinched the skin between his thumb and pointer finger hard. She's lost and tired, with countless therapies, friendly visits, and not a crack of the person she once was. He wanted to hold her, comfort her.
Say anything, dammit.
"Hey, don't worry about that, right, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto reassured her.
"Right.." he acknowledges, looking up at the girl half-sitting on the bed. In that instant, he doesn't believe his eyes could open any further.
It's like a moment of the past when she smiles a genuine and all too beautiful smile that reaches her eyes. His chest burns, the fire that reminds every feeling he has for her, but his gut falls as if it were shattering to the ground.
It wasn't for him.
It was a hopeless feeling; he knew that, but he couldn't help interrupt them from whatever they were having. He didn't want to sit here and feel like his girlfriend was getting cozy with her once best friend. Shit, I need fresh air.
"Naruto," Kakashi gained the young man's attention.
"It is getting late. We should head out and give Sakura some rest."
"Sure thing. Also, when I have free time, I can explain some of the photos to you."
"Please" was all she said.
"Have a goodnight, sakura-chan."
"Goodnight"
"Have a goodnight, Sakura." kakashi adds.
"Goodnight to you as well, sir."
A brief of hurt flashed across his face. He tilted his head a slow goodbye and slipped out of the room with Naruto.
Sakura usually quickly fell asleep every night, but it took her a little longer tonight. Both men that visited her earlier were handsome, and one appeared much older than her, and for whatever reason, she could not look at him.
She wasn't scared or intimidated to say; he gave her a warm, familiar feeling; she also felt the residing feeling deep within that she did not want to disappoint him like her so-called parents.
The blond male she couldn't entirely stop thinking of. His bright blue eyes never stared too long at her; they didn't plead anything from her. As if they had just met for the first time, she had forgotten who everyone was, including herself.
But for her, it felt like a fresh start...
Not long sleep had taken her. Now and then, she has dreams she can never remember. The images slip through her fingers like sand, leaving nothing behind.
The following day, the nurse checked Sakura's vitals and brought her breakfast. She set her platter of scrambled eggs, strawberry slices, and orange juice on the tabletop of her bedside.
"Miss," Sakura spoke sakura making the nurse look her way.
"What's wrong, darling?" she replied with an unusual, intense, and elongated accent.
"M-may I request to go outside today?"
"Oh shoot, Im sorry, honey. I won't be able to help you with that. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"a small mirror?"
"Is that all, hun?"
'Yes' She nods
"Ok, one small mirror coming up." The nurse walks out.
In the Hokage office, Kakashi sat on the window sill behind Naruto, who was begrudgingly doing his paperwork at his desk.
"You know, I would think by now you would have been reading your porn or hitting me on the head with it," Naruto laughed.
"It's not porn. It is a romance novel," kakashi chuckled casually.
"I know you think about her naruto said at random Sakura. I mean." Naruto continues, "Look, im not getting this file work anytime soon, so why don't you go in my place instead?"
Kakashi's eyebrows pulled together. He looked dejected. "I just don't think she would want to see me."
"Nonsense! You need time, and so does she, be her friend, and don't overthink your history together. And hope some of the photos can jog her memory."
Kakashi stood outside of her hospital room, unable to will himself forward. Act natural and be her friend. He breathed deeply and exhaled, giving a light knock when there was no response.
He felt worried and then cracked the door open he peered into the room and didn't see Sakura where she usually sat on the bed. Pushing the door wider, he looked into the room.
He sees her in the small corner sitting on the chair at the table. She was much too focused. She did not see him enter.
She held a small mirror in her hand, and she brushed a few loose strands back into place with her other hand. She then touched her cheeks, brushed her finger across her bottom lip, and pouted.
It was cute. Kakashi stared at her; memorizing the pout reminded him of their first date when he teased overboard.
Sakura seemed to dislike how her lips were too dry. She licked them, hoping the little cracks wouldn't show.
Little tension rippled throughout Kakashis's body when he saw her cute pink dart out across her lips, reminding them of their first time together. She did precisely that and gazed at him with hunger, an intimacy they only shared between the two.
"Mr. Hatake," Sakura called, halting the thoughts Kakashi had.
"Sorry, uh- I did knock." he slowed.
"It's alright. I was a little surprised, but…" She bit her lip, unsure if she should speak her thoughts.
As if he read her mind, "Ah, right, I apologize on Naruto's behalf. He was swamped with paperwork."
She didn't expect him, and he figured that much. A small part of him hoped he was overthinking it. He noticed small things such as her soft looks or small smiles she gave to the blond, and she was trying her best to prettify herself for Naruto's sake, and those little things sat on his chest, weighing on him bruisingly.
Get a grip. Sakura is not herself, and there isn't anyone to blame. He pushes his negative thoughts down.
I'll do whatever I can to get her back, and for some reason, it is deemed impossible; we can make new memories together with everyone. Everything will be ok, he wishfully thinks.
Several hours later, It finally felt like a breakthrough in the tension between the two. The atmosphere felt lighter. Every photo held a story, kakashi woefully shared. Sakura genuinely laughed. Kakashi watched as Sakura's eyes fluttered to the image of the trio. She brushed her fingers across it, searching for an answer.
“Sakura,” Kakashi called her gently. “Is there something you want to know?” Sakura gives a shy smile. Kakashi still could not completely grasp the concept of this uncharacteristic behavior coming from her, the small woman who had always hit him for reading his icha icha novels inappropriate places and when he arrived late to important meetings.
She was the woman who had terrifying, sharp teeth when she got mad, and she was also the same woman who had a big heart, even going so far as to sacrifice herself to save her friends.
“Who was I to you?” she spoke with curiosity.
Kakashi freezes for the briefest moments but still cannot decide to tell her the truth. But the medical instructions they had given him were the reason he chose not to lie to her but to give her a different truth, and right now, he is happy spending time with her, so he decides to go with the flow, just like he always does.
He gives an easy grin. "I was your sensei. We're like family, you, I, and team seven." She sees that his eyes are serious. And she smiles.
After a few minutes of silence, she tells him, a little sleepily, “Thank you Kakashi-Sensei”. She falls asleep with a smile on her face and hears his steady breathing next to her.
Kakashi looked at her peaceful face a little longer before pushing his face into his hands. He cannot help but give a sad smile. His Sakura is the first and only person to whom he has ever given his heart. That first time, he was driven by the sight of her heart-wrenching tears, and she clung to him for comfort. She had become connected to him; when he tried taking his own life when she was injured trying to save him, a bond began to form, and it grew much more each day.
Kakashi slowly got up not to wake her and quietly left the room.