Chapter Text
None of this was supposed to happen. Bo could just tell. She had been ruling Mandalore for a few months now and everything had been going… as well as it could. She had started to believe things would work out. She had started to believe the Empire wasn’t going to be that much of a problem for them anymore.
That they would leave them alone.
She was a fool to believe that. And she had been a fool to believe that Gideon was really dead. Yes, there was no reason to believe he was alive when she had seen him die, but they had never found a body.
But how could they find a body when it would have been destroyed in the fire?
And despite all the years Bo had of fighting and war, she managed to get kidnapped. And it was much worse when Grogu and Din did too. They would get away, they had to, but she still couldn’t believe this happened. And she didn’t want Grogu to go through this.
He already had gone through way too much.
“It’s going to be okay,” Din said, reaching for her as Grogu slept on her lap. They had been handcuffed but had managed to free themselves from that. They hadn’t managed to escape yet. “They’re not going to be able to keep us here.”
“I’m so sorry,” Bo said as she moved slightly closer to Din. “Maybe if I didn’t rule Mandalore…”
Maybe then none of this would have happened. She had always wanted to be good for Mandalore, but sometimes that had led to people she loved getting hurt. Sometimes what she thought was good for others ended up hurting others.
Had this been her fault somehow? She should have been more careful.
“None of this is your fault, Bo,” Din said and he pulled her and Grogu closer to him. She leaned against his shoulder and sighed.
She still thought this had to be partially her fault.
Bo somehow managed to drift off even though it should have been impossible. The only reason it probably wasn’t because she hadn’t been feeling right recently. Her sleep didn’t last for long.
They were pulled from the cell that they were in. Bo reacted almost as soon as they were out and managed to free herself from one of the Imps. Din also did and soon they were fighting the Imperials. They were all right fighters, much better than normal storm troopers, but nothing compared to Mandalorians who had fought their whole lives.
Bo and Din had fought their whole lives, especially Bo. She had been born at the beginning of a war and her life had almost always involved war. She had been too immature and childish to appreciate the small amount of peace there had been when Satine ruled.
She had been a stupid child. Very stupid and naïve and impressionable in the worst ways.
And Bo had done whatever she could to make up for that and she thought she had. She still would continue fighting. She would keep fighting for Mandalore.
And for Din and Grogu who were like her new family.
And the three of them managed to defeat the Imps. It wasn’t that hard even.
“Let’s get out of here, kid,” Din said to Grogu as he picked him up.
Bo smiled and nodded and then ruffled Grogu’s hair.
She really believed that they would get out of here or at least she hoped so. They had escaped from much more difficult places before, but then suddenly gas started to come through the vents. Bo instantly reacted. She had to. She didn’t know what the gas would do to them, but it would be bad.
They had to get out of here. Bo was sure that her Jedi friend Ahsoka would come and help them but they might not have the time. Ahsoka was an amazing person but even she failed sometimes.
Bo had to get them out of here.
The doors closed before they could do anything, leaving them locked in. But maybe, just maybe, they could get them open. She exchanged looks with Din and the two of them instantly hurried over to the doors. They didn’t have any actual tools, but they had weapons, and Mandalore weapons could be used for many different things.
The world started to get fuzzy as they worked. Bo started to feel her stomach twist painfully. She was going to be sick, but she had to keep trying to get the door open. She had to. Not for herself, but for Din and Grogu.
Grogu let out a cry. No, it was more like a sob. And then there was nothing. Nothing.
Someone touched her arm. Din… She looked at him. Even though he had his helmet on, she knew his eyes were full of pain and worry.
And concern. Concern for Grogu. Grogu was everything to Din.
Grogu was everything to Bo too. She would do all she could for the two of them.
She would die for him and Din. And they were in pain. They were in danger. She had to do something. But she was weak. So weak.
She couldn’t give up. She couldn’t.
“It’s…” She tried to do her best to steady Din. He was bigger and heavier than her, but she was strong too. She didn’t want him to hurt himself when he fell. So she did her best to guide him to the floor, but she wasn’t going to give up yet.
At least she didn’t have any plans to.
But when she tried to stand back up to go to the door, her legs shook. Everything was spinning. Everything was blurry and her stomach… Nothing was right. But it didn’t matter.
She couldn’t fail her new family.
She wouldn’t fail them like she had failed Satine and Korkie.
Din and Grogu were everything to her.
But everything… how could the world look like this? She didn’t even feel like herself. She felt…
“Don’t, Bo,” Din said as he somehow reached for her and pulled her over to him so she was almost in his lap. “Don’t.”
“But…” She had to do something. She couldn’t fail them.
“Don’t want you hurt,” Din said weakly. His voice didn’t even sound like his in a way. And yet… “Bo… I…” His voice broke and his grip on her hand weakened. Passed out. He had passed out.
Bo tried to get back up, but she couldn’t. It was as if her legs wouldn’t work now and her eyes… it was a struggle to keep them up. She had failed. She had failed again.
There was nothing she could do. Just like when it mattered there was nothing she could do. And now Grogu and Din were unconscious.
Unless…
No, they couldn’t be dead. And sure enough she saw Din’s chest rise. He was alive, and Grogu let out a sigh in his sleep and then something like a yawn. Both of them were alive.
Bo cuddled closer to Din. Even now he was still warm. His breath was steady and his heart beat was comforting. It made her feel like maybe she was wrong and somehow, somehow she hadn’t failed her new family. Maybe things would work out okay. Maybe there was a solution.
As long as the three of them were still alive.
But for right now… right now she let herself pass out with her head resting against Din’s chest. The beat of his heart was her lullaby.
Bo’s dreams were full of nightmares. In them only her nightmares came true and also parts of her past that she wanted to forget. In her dreams she saw Din and Grogu dying. She saw little Grogu draw out his last breath. His eyes were so wide and pleading for her to do something.
Yes, she knew that he would have done great things for the Galaxy but that wasn’t why she was devastated. No, she was sad because she loved that kid so much. He was like a son to her. Most likely the closest she would ever have to a child.
He was the most amazing person also. So good and pure.
And seeing him die…
She couldn’t stand it. It was torture. And seeing Don’s reaction to it… that was the worst but she knew that in real life it would have been so much worse.
She also dreamed about Satine. In them, Satine would tell her that she deserved all that happened to her. That she had hurt their family and so how could she expect that she could have another family.
Satine would also mention how it wasn’t like Bo and Din were official. That really they were nothing.
Nothing.
Eventually the dreams faded away and she felt someone touching her shoulder softly and then shaking her more.
“Bo, wake up,” Din said. “Bo.”
“Give up,” a voice she would never forget said. A voice that haunted her. Gideon. Moff Gideon. The man who had killed so many of her people. “The three of you won’t be a problem much longer anyway.”
“Cyar’ika,” Din said softly. Cyar’ika… he had never called her that before. “Wake up.”
Bo forced her eyes to open. Her body felt so heavy and her arm hurt. The same type of hurt when someone injected you with something. The Imps had done something to them. Bo had been drugged before. Many times actually. She had to do something.
The room was all wrong, some kind of lab that doubled as a holding cell. And there was a machine… a machine unlike one she had seen before. But even if she wasn’t Force sensitive she could tell something was wrong with it. That it was powerful.
The three of them had cuffs around their hands again and feet. But she should still be able to move. She should still be able to do something.
“You’re okay,” Din said.
“I’m all right,” Bo said, looking into his eyes. Into his eyes. He didn’t have his helmet on. Stars, he was too handsome. More handsome than he had any right to be. Even now she couldn’t help but think about all the times she had imagined what he might look like.
Late at night she imagined not just what he might look like.
And now here she could see his face but it made her sad too. There was no way that he would have wanted to take off his helmet with Gideon around.
“You two are pathetic,” Gideon said. “And you will both regret what you have done.”
What they had done? Yes, Bo had done plenty of things she regretted but hurting the Empire wasn’t it. Helping her people wasn’t something she regretted. What she regretted was surrendering to the Empire. Satine had basically surrendered to Pre so she knew how that could go. What Bo regretted was her time in Death Watch.
For losing her first family.
“Bo-Katan Kryze,” Gideon said. “I’m sure you have a lot of regrets. I’m sure you regret basically killing Satine.”
Her stomach twisted. She hated that he knew that she had been thinking about her. And she hated his words. She hadn’t basically killed Satine. She hadn’t. She had just been so stupid. So stupid!
“And Din Djarin, I’m sure you miss your original family too. I’m sure you miss your true people and tire of pretending to be Mandalorian,” Gideon said.
Pretending to be Mandalorian? Din had never pretended to be Mandalorian. Yes, he might not have been born one but he was as Mandalorian as anyone Bo knew. Even before she felt this way she hadn’t doubted that he was Mandalorian.
“And Grogu, you can be back with the Jedi,” Gideon said.
What the kriff was he talking about? Had he lost it even more than he already had?
“Really I am doing all three of you a kindness that you don’t deserve,” Gideon said.
“Go kriff yourself,” Bo said, realizing she did have some movement. She couldn’t see how much but Gideon must not have injected her as much as he should have. Or maybe she just had a stronger resistance.
“You’re ungrateful, but I’m not surprised since you were always that way, Kryze. At least I won’t have to deal with you much longer.”
That was when Gideon turned on the machine. It made a loud humming noise. It was pointed at them. It was going to hurt them. Maybe kill them.
Bo didn’t think. She just reached. Her body was heavier than she thought and felt like it didn’t belong to her.
She did her best to ignore it. She had to help Grogu and Din.
So she did her best to push them out of the way.
But she didn’t know if it worked. There was an impossibly bright flash and then pain. So much pain.
Everything faded away.
Everything but the pain.
There was darkness. Darkness and pain. Nothing else. Eventually the pain faded and instead there was darkness and cold. So many dreams too. Dreams of her time in Death Watch. Dreams of her short time with Satine and all the many arguments they had.
Some seemed so stupid now.
So stupid.
Eventually she heard noises. Blasters shooting and talking and yelling. One voice almost sounded like Pre Vizsla but of course that was impossible. He had been dead for decades.
Bo used to have nightmares about his death. She also used to have nightmares that he was still alive. She used to be so conflicted when it came to him. Now she just hated him for what he had done to her family.
And to Mandalore.
Mandalorians were stronger together and he had divided them because he wanted to rule.
Bo thought the voices would fade away but they didn’t. It was so cold too. It almost reminded her of…
Bo heard a door open and then someone was shaking her.
“Stars, Bo-Katan, you need to wake up,” a familiar voice said. Ursa. It was Ursa, but that shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be possible.
But when she opened her eyes, there Ursa was. But it was even more wrong. This wasn’t the right Ursa. It was a young one. One around the time she had Sabine and Tristan. One around the time of Clone Wars.
Bo shot up and grabbed her helmet, which luckily had been right on a bed stand. She wasn’t in her room either. No… this was her room but it was one from so long ago. And her helmet wasn’t quite right. It was how…
How it used to be.
This wasn’t possible.
“What’s wrong with you, Bo?” Ursa asked as she reached out and touched her forehead.
“What’s going on?” Bo asked, trying to sound calm but not succeeding. Something was wrong, so wrong. “What is happening?”
“Nothing,” Ursa said and then she frowned. “You’re burning up.”
Bo stared at her. Nothing was right. Even she felt different. Her body felt different. Everything was.
“Maybe I can talk to Mand’alor Vizsla and—“
“Vizsla?” Bo asked, not able to keep her eyes from widening. She pushed her hand away. “Pre Vizsla?”
Ursa paused and studied her. “What other Vizsla would I be talking about?”
“Pre Vizsla is dead!” Bo exclaimed regretting it as soon as she said it. Yes, this was only Ursa but still she was in Death Watch… kriff, what was wrong with Bo? Ursa hadn’t been in Death Watch for decades.
But this didn’t look like the Ursa she was used to. This looked like how Ursa used to.
“Why would you say that?” Ursa asked, almost in a whisper. “You should know better than to say something so insane and borderline treasonous. What if someone heard and—“
Bo couldn’t hear this. She couldn’t take this. She pushed past Ursa and hurried over to the mirror. And Bo couldn’t believe what she saw.
It wasn’t her.
No, that wasn’t true. It was Bo, but not the one she was supposed to be. It was instead the teenage Bo. Herself when she had been young.
Somehow, she had gone back in time.