Chapter Text
Vanessa secured 'lost time' from Voight before driving to South Chicago home of the only one of her foster parents
who showed her a bit of kindness or care: Doña Rocio (Roci) Estrada-Vickers.Doña Roci's husband died at Ground Zero a
seven months after Vanessa came to them...the kindly Salvadoran woman started spiraling after that, leaving her unable to
care for her charge, and Vanessa went someplace...much worse. She never blamed her foster mother, and today she needs her
advice. When she opened the front door, she clapped a hand on her chest and cried "OH, 'Nessa!" before launching herself at
the smaller woman, who welcomed her hug with a sob. The two made their way inside, tears flowing freely.
"Mi'ja; please forgive me-**despues de que fallecio Mi Moreno**"-(after my Brown Man died)
"**No se preocupe, Ma-yo entiendo y para mi lo ques paso no fue culpa de NADIE-menos usted**" ( Don't worry-I understand
me what happened was no one's fault-least of all yours).
"That makes me so happy, 'Nessa...so happy. What brings you to South Chicago? I haven't seen you in years." Then she noticed
that Vanessa's left hand cradled her lower abdomen protectively (as she had once done during HER pregnancies). "Ah."
"Si," Vanessa confirmed. "9 weeks." She went on to explain about KEVIN ATWATER, her partner, and the baby's father. "You will
love him, Doña Roci; he loves me and he loves the baby; I know that he will be the best father...I KNOW IT. He's a 'foster', and he has
taken care of his younger siblings - Jordan and Vinessa - since his Mama passed. They're great, Mami. I can't wait for you to meet
them."
"You are so enthusiastic! Now, I'M excited! Was there something else, mi amor?"
"Pues...What I came to ask is: are we fooling ourselves? Kevin and I? Are we too broken to be good parents?"
"Bring him here to me; after I will answer your question, pero (but) 'Nessa: I can see in the way you smile when you mention
the 'bean'...the way those beautiful eyes light up when you touch your belly that you already possess all that you need to be
a successful mama. Bring your Kevin here; I want to talk to him-look into his eyes."
"OK, Mami."
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"Ah...' course I'm happy, Kimmy; I wanna jump for joy, except...How do you think MAC will react? It's just been her for a while
now and who knows how she'll react to a-a BABY? Ya know?"
Kim said, "Obviously, I know, Ruzek, and I don't know the answer to that. I mean: she's just come around to calling us 'Mommy'
and 'Dad' in the last few months, but the thing is, we have to figure somethin' out because in about four months we can't hide the
pregnancy."
"Right...right," Adam muttered. "We need advice, yeah, but WHO-Platt?"
Kim rolled her eyes: "Good idea. since Sarge has half a dozen kids?!"
"Then...MY Mom."
"Attaboy...THERE it is! Is she home, you think?" She grabbed his truck keys and tossed them to him.
"Probably, yeah. What about MAC, though?"
"Do YOU have 'pregnancy brain'?!" Kim scoffed. "Your mom would shoot us in the driveway if we don't bring her 'grand-baby'.
C'MON, Mac-we're goin' to Grandma Paulette's! Don't forget your AntEater!!"
"OK, Mommy!"
In the truck, Mac asked casually, "When am I gonna be RUZ? That's your name, Daddy; I wanna be Makayla Ward RUZ Burgess."
Kim can barely hold in her guffaw. "You think Dad's last name is 'Ruz', KayKay?"
"That's what Unca Kev calls him all the time: 'Let's get at it, Ruz'; 'Ruz-we gotta move'," she growled in her best imitation of
her Uncle Kevin. "No, Baby...it's Ruz-EK," Adam corrected, while Kim side-eyed him, still grinning. At Paulette Ruzek's home
she called, "Is that my BEST Granddaughter in the back of an unknown man's truck, or an angel fallen from heaven!"
"It's me, Grandma-Hi!" Mac waved from the rear window. "Hey, Mom," Adam greeted her at the bottom of the stairs with a kiss.
Kim followed with "You look great, Mom," adding her own kiss.
"Out of my way, you two! Come to me, my beautiful girl!" She went down on one knee when Mac jumped from the vehicle and
and into her Grandma's arms. Holding Paulette's hand, she chattered about her last day before summer vacation, including 'An'
I'm gonna be a RUZEK soon!' before concluding with "An' Mommy has a BEAN inside her...I guess she ate it or somethin'."
This stopped Kim and Adam in their tracks; they recovered quickly, though, and joined the other two at the dining room table, where
Paulette set out lemonade and cookies. "NOW, Kimberly...about this 'bean' you ate!"
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Although she and Adam have parented Makayla for two years, the questions in Kim's mind concern her ability to bring a pregnancy
to term (the violent assault by the perp she was pursuing, and the stress-induced loss caused by her then-boyfriend SEAN ROMAN'S
proposed move to California and her indecision over whether to stay in Chicago or go with him.) Hailey Upton and Jay Halstead joined
the couple for the presentation, since the former has doubts of her own (considering her less-than-stellar childhood).
The counselor - Dr. Regina Martin) - pented the following bullet points to the quartet; these involve the following questions:
**ARE YOU NURTURING?**
"Because raising children means having fun band-aids at the ready, giving hugs for both good and bad times, and providing life
lessons to mold them into amazing adults. You have been through heartache, skinned your knees, and had both good and
bad times, so you are already equipped! You also carve out time with your partner and understand that nurturing that relation-
ship, with and without the kids around, is equally important."
**ARE YOU STRONG?**
"Be aware that being a mom doesn’t mean you are a best friend. Enjoying your kids is great, but you are strong enough to know
when to set boundaries and hand out consequences that will teach them how to act in the world."
**ARE YOU FUN?**
"Do you know how to have fun with your family? Can be silly and teach a little math while baking cookies? Or start a water balloon
fight on a hot summer day? Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to lose your spontaneity and sense of fun. You just get to use
it in lots of new ways!"
"ARE YOU VULNERABLE?"
"Gone are the days of the perfect mother, like Donna Reed or Leave it to Beaver‘s mom, who was always impeccably dressed and
wearing pearls while getting a balanced meal on the table at 5:30 pm sharp. You know it’s okay to admit to not having all the
answers or making a mistake. This will also teach your children that it’s okay for them, too. You will be a role model for how to fix
mistakes and find answers to the things you don’t know (like more great lessons that kids need to learn)."
**ARE YOU DEDICATED?**
willing to do what it takes to keep them safe, help them learn, and help them grow to become confident, fun, and happy
adults? As long as you are also dedicated to keeping your relationships with your partner, family, and friends and under-
stand that there needs to be a balance (the kids can’t always come first – and that that doesn’t make you a bad mom!)"
********
"I hope that this brief presentation helps assuage your concerns. My email, contact telephone, and office hours appear at
bottom left. Thank you so much for your attention."
Both women feel much better about the prospects of motherhood after Dr. Martin's talk (both are about eight weeks along),
give or take (duh! what are their choices, after all!)...terminating their pregnancies hasn't crossed any of their minds (all 4
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"This is why I don't like dating in the squad!" Hank Voight raged to Deputy Superintendent Miller and Trudy Platt. "All three of my
women detectives are 'knocked up'...that's goin' to FUCK my unit manpower!"
"Dial it back, Sergeant," Sam Miller cautioned mildly. "I get that you are not necessarily happy with how the situations have played-
"There are strict 'regs' against any adverse actions in response to a female CPD member's pregnancy. I'm a prime example of that."
Sam said, "When I had my son, I was on the promotion list...I stayed there for another FIVE YEARS before I was promoted to where I am
and THAT was after the class-action lawsuit."
Voight said, "I'm not sayin' that adverse action or ANY action will be or would be taken, ladies. But I need BODIES to fill those slots,
and after ."
Miller promised to get him more bodies, which only partially appeased the grizzled Sergeant. Later, she sent him an email to
advise him that Antonio Dawson will be redeployed from the State Attorney's Office, where he's an Investigator, and Dante
Torres, a Street Crimes Detective. Others will fill in as needed...
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