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Gasping awake, clawing at the air trying to reach the body he felt between his fingers, now dispersing; Johnny sheds a tear and falls back onto his bed. He assumed finally sleeping on a bed would feel glorious, but he would sleep on the hard ground for the rest of his life just to see that man again. Through the melancholy haze he can picture the long blonde hair, goofy big smile that always brightened his day, and eyes- like priceless emeralds in color.
A few years have gone by since the race, but he relives the torture every night; he cannot escape it.
He’s heard the other racers have gone on to live happy, successful lives, he can only cringe at the thought of him moving on and becoming a new man. Everything he sees sends him back in time, a teddy in the toy shop window makes him think of the rough nights when the taller blonde would cuddle him and Mr.Teddy extra close. A local restaurant selling a new beef sandwich like the ones he and his lover would steal them from Hot Pants.
Finally caving and leaving bed, Johnny walks to the attached bathroom, his new ability to walk has helped his morale on low days, but the time around the anniversary of his lover and friends departures his legs seem numb. Splashing his face with ice cold water to block out those thoughts, he takes a deep, anxious breath in. He hears a series of light knocks coming from the front door, wiping his face off as he walks over to greet the visitor.
Standing in front of him is a short, bubbly blonde girl, behind her is her father. Lucy always comes over around this time, every week, with a new bouquet of flowers to liven up the dreary apartment he lives in. She just about tackles him into a short hug, moving in to find the perfect spot for the new flowers and dote on the ones from previous trips over. Johnny moves to let her pass, and nods in greeting to her father, Steven, who owns the building he lives in.
After helping Lucy throughout the race, Steven allowed him to stay in an empty apartment he had left in this building. Johnny had some money saved up throughout the race and leftover from his previous profession and lifestyle, so he is able to sustain his lifestyle of staying home and occasionally going out to shop when Lucy drags him out.
After a short visit, Lucy and Steven are off to their next errand. Johnny walks over to the living room window, and rests against the frame to watch the people run by. He blinks slowly, exhaustion hitting him like a brick, when he suddenly spots an eerily similar sight. A long blonde man, wearing leather and a large hat strolling leisurely down the street.
Johnny can feel the hot tears build up in his eyes, blurring his view of the man, as he turns to run down the staircase and out the main door to hopefully intercept the man. When he comes barreling through, he runs straight into the man he was hoping to find, “Gy-” he begins to say, but as he looks into the man's ocean blue eyes, he can feel himself crumple up. How could he be so idiotic to run into a stranger he thought looked familiar, when the man he wished to curl into was across the world and buried in the ground?
The slow ascent to his room, and the next hours were simply torture. When he closed his red and aching eyes, he could only see the crisp green of the others looking into his, and when he curled into his sheets, he could feel the soft embrace his lover would give out constantly. He wished he never would have met that man, maybe then the green-eyed man would complete the race, maybe even win; he could’ve gone back home to see the small boy, Marco, alive. But of course, he could only wish, the other man never got to make it over the finish line, body starting to grow cold when Johnny made it over the finish line. He could never see his home again either, Johnny hoped the man could feel the soil of his true home embracing him until the end of time. Maybe he would be able to see Marco in the afterlife. Johnny broke down completely when he learned about the freedom, then death of the young boy, praying he could be with his family again.
As sleep overtakes him, and feeling the salty tears crust his eyes closed, Johnny can only think of the man he waits to see again after death, the only man Johnny ever felt love for, and felt loved by, the man who he wanted to live and die with; who's bodies would decompose together, fusing their love together to last until the end of time. His lover, Julius Caesar “Gyro” Zeppeli.