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Atsushi has been doing a good job at keeping it a secret he is trans. He has been double binding and hiding his body making sure to never let it known he is trans, even as he fights he has been double binding even if he knows it's bad for him. It's getting harder Since the ADA and PM decided to collaborate in some capacity introducing a new training program, with this came a sort of arena area and changing rooms this made him anxious as the risk of being outed was higher.
Akutagawa and Atsushi have been teamed up to train together as per Dazais instructions, the walk to the changing room was awkward for Atsushi he could feel his heart beating against his chest harder and harder and his breathing was shaken be stayed a meter away from this rival clutching the bag of training clothes to his chest. He could never tell if it was gender envy or attraction when it came to Akutagawa he was so pretty in a 'boy' way it made Atsushi jealous.
"Jinko...I can hear your breathing from here." Akutagawa blurted out suddenly knocking Atsushi out of his trance. It was his weird way of asking if he was alright without saying it, stuff like that doesn't come naturally to him.
"O-oh sorry..." he squeaked out apologetically he cringed at how feminine his voice sounded getting more insecure about his body and voice.
"Tch...it's fine." Akutagawa opened the door to the changing room not thinking much of his rival. Atsushi followed behind seeing some of the others that are in the middle of changing looking over their body's with envy, their bone structure and how flat their chests are it made him feel sick to his stomach with envy and guilt.
Atsushi got changed as slowly as he could without causing suspicion being oddly specific with how he set his clothes down folding them and organising them. As Atsushi was putting on the training shorts he noticed he was nearly alone, He watched as Akutagawa was the last in the room he was pulling the training shirt over his body, Atsushi could see all of Akutagawas ribs and chest bones as he lifts the shirt over his head pulling it down around his small waist he found himself staring at him he quickly looked away and started to slowly unbutton his shirt waiting for Akutagawa to leave so he doesn't see his binders.
Akutagawa looked over at Atsushi with an unreadable expression.
"Hurry up, I won't wait." He mumbled and headed out to the training area.
Atsushi quickly took his shirt off and caught his reflection in the mirror he couldn't help but compare himself in his mind to his coworkers bodys his hips and waist were so feminine it made him feel sick to his stomach. He took off the binders and grabbed some trans tape to bind with he knows it's not the best but it's better than double binding, he looked in the mirror and ran his hand over his chest nearly crying at how he looks...he takes some bandages out and wraps them around his chest so he could be flatter he knew he was putting himself in danger but he didn't care. He jumped as he heard the door of the changing room open seeing Akutagawas hand on the door frame and one over his eyes.
"I said I'm not waiting jinko...hurry up."
"Y-yeah! Just putting on the shirt..!" Atsushi squeaked out tightening the bandages hastily then grabbing the training shirt and throwing it over his head.
"I-I'm comming now..!" He said as he stumbled to the door but he froze when he saw himself in the reflection, Akutagawa took his hands off his eyes and looked down at the smaller boy with a blank expression. Atsushi felt tears in his eyes as he looked over his body only seeing himself as a girl, Akutagawa noticed Atsushis expression change so he stood aside averting his eyes to the outside. Atsushi regained his composure trying to ignore how feminine he looked as he stepped outside it got worse as he saw the others training how masculine they all looked. Akutagawa tried to ignore his rival and grabbed his shoulder pulling him to a clear area for them to train.
"H-hey...you don't have to pull me..!"
"You weren't moving...like I said I'm not waiting."
Akutagawa didn't want to treat him any differently than normal so he just decided to ignore it. Atsushi stumbled and pulled against Akutagawas grip he easily pulled away from him and stood up straight.
"Listen my task is to get better at fighting without rashomon...mainly focusing on agility...so I won't be using my ability." Akutagawa explained pulling some sort of wrist protectors over himself and standing a few paces away from Atsushi.
"Okay so...I shouldn't use my tiger since that probably would be an unfair advantage.." Atsushi thought outloud before Akutagawa kicked some of the small rocks on the floor towards him.
"I'm not weak just don't kill me." Akutagawa snapped back standing in a brace position.
Atsushi smirked and nodded at his rival letting his legs slip into his tiger form before charging at him. Akutagawa quickly moved to the side out of the way nearly tripping up over his feet, it was clear he really needed to practice this. Atsushi noticed this and stood panting a little letting his arms out into his tiger form.
"Are you sure..? I don't want to-"
"Fight me weretiger!"
Atsushi nodded again and charged at his rival he noticed how much he was putting all his energy into one direction and adjusted this making it easy for him to pivot into the direction Akutagawa leaped back to. Akutagawa ducked under him as atsushi attempted to pin him down. Akutagawa was panting harsh just from a small amount of moment his lungs were not used to having to support him moving so frequently. Atsushi stumbled and fell onto his back as he jumped over his rival looking up seeing how Akutagawa is already struggling.
"F-fuck...fucking..." Akutagawa panted out standing up quickly Turing to face the tiger boy stumbling backwards a little cursing under his breath. Atsushi new Akutagawa would push himself to his breaking point especially since Dazai is in the arena 'training' with Chuuya, if you could call it that Dazai is more like winding him up, Atsushi leaped at Akutagawa letting his tail slip out to grab his rival by his waist when he attempted to pivot to the side pulling him down with Atsushi as he fell landing with their legs intertwined Akutagawas knee inbetween Atsushis legs pushed up to his crotch.
"A-ah ! Fucking hell weretiger! A-ck!" Akutagawa yelped out coughing into his hand after being winded not noticing his leg placement.
Atsushi was blushing hard at the situation his tail wrapped around the taller boys waist with his knee pressed right up against him trying to muffle any type of noises he would make, he noticed some of the others watching the situation and he felt vulnerable in the moment he squirmed around until he got free of Akutagawa squirming backwards slipping out of his tiger from not noticing the rip in the training shirt exposing some of the bandages wrapped around his chest.
"Atsushi you know if you are injured you shouldn't be training ,and that you should go to Yosano not just dealing with it." Kunikida spoke walking over to the two helping them up.
"Mhm? I'm not Injured..?" Atsushi spoke then looked down noticing the rip in the shirt, he felt his heart sink and the arena started to spin the stumbled backwards starting to breathe heavily. "O-oh! Right that Um...yeah that.." Atsushi stuttered out covering his chest, suddenly he was aware of everything the way his thighs looked so feminine and his waist being small in the most girly way, the way his body made him look so feminine it caused him to tear up getting so overwhelmed in the moment the fear of being found out making him nauseous. "I-it's nothing! I-I have to g-go um...go." He ran past everyone stumbling and tripping into the changing rooms grabbing his clothes and bolting out of the area accidentally leaving his phone and wallet behind in the rush.
It was late and Atsushi stumbled into his apartment hyperventilating and grabbing his chest unable to breathe from how tight the bandages are and he was beginning to have a panic attack. He dropped his stuff falling to the floor muffling sobs as he try's to pull off the bandages completely unaware of his rival that followed with his stuff.
Akutagawa as greeted with the sight of Atsushi on his knees sobbing and hyperventilating he froze he didn't know what to do..? How was he supposed to help in this situation? Can he breathe? Should he call someone? Akutagawa set down Atsushis wallet and phone on the floor crouching down and trying to see the issue he saw him clutching his chest so he tried to help remove the bandages around his chest loosing them.
"N-no! No! D-don't h-ha! N-no! You- ha! Cant s-see m-my a-ah! Ack!" Atsushi thrashed around sobbing into this hand as he felt the anxiety of his rival seeing his chest fuel his panic attack.
"Stay still Jinko..! Just breathe I can't help you if you are fighting me!" Akutagawa, now in his coat, used rashomon to stop Atsushi from squirming around gently holding his hand rubbing his thumb over his hands trying to sooth him.
"Please...just breathe okay."
"N-nm! A-akutagawa! I-I...cant breathe...h-ha!"
Akutagawa loosened the bandages on his rival feeling what he was so desperately trying to hide. Akutagawas eyes widened at the realisation but he quickly shook his head and focused on getting Atsushi the breathe.
"Just breathe...okay it's easy I know you aren't that pathetic."
"Y-you sure k-know how to comfort s-someone"Atsushi mumbled out slowing his breathing as akutagawa instructed.
"See...easy right."
"F-fuck off"
"You are the one who can't breathe."
"....thanks by the way."
Akutagawa blushes a little and continues to rub his hand smiling softly trying to hide the fact he got flustered. Atsushi felt rashomon let go of him as he started to calm down he quick hid his chest freezing up at the situation.
"...do you want to talk about it."
"W-what?"
"...I think I know but.."
Atsushi took of the bandages the trans tape visable on his chest.
"I...I'm trans..p-please don't tell anyone! Please it's...it's.."
"Jinko I'm not going to tell anyone. I don't care if you are trans."
"You...don't?"
"I don't see you any differently."
Atsushi teared up and blushed hard hiding his face in his hands sobbing a little into his hand.
"W-why are you crying..?!"
"A-h sorry! It just means s-so much...so...much." Atsushi hugs his rival tightly pressing himself against him.
"A-atsushi?!" Akutagawa blushes feeling flustered as the smaller boy hugs him he tenses up but quickly relaxes not feeling threatened by Atsushis affection.
"Y...you called me my name..?" He blushes pulling away looking into his eyes.
"I-I did no such thing jinko..! L-listen you are a mess let me help sort you out." Akutagawa quickly goes on the offensive closing the door to the apartment and helping the tiger boy up onto the sofa.
"W-why are you being so soft..."
"I-I'm not...just Dazai told me to look after you so I'm just obeying him." Akutagawa sits next to Atsushi not meeting his eyes.
"Oh...yeah that makes sense! S-sorry I thought..! I just sorry that was stupid!" Atsushi blushes and thinks about his feelings towards his rival...he quickly found out how he felt towards him just with the affirmation that he doesn't care that he's trans...he loves him.
Akutagawa looks over at the younger boy swallowing his pride and turning to face him.
"And...I care, About you." He puts his hand on Atsushis thigh blushing hard.
"Y-you do!?"
"Mhm...I suppose I do..."
Atsushi hugs Akutagawa again accidentally pinning him down on the sofa laying ontop of him.
"J-jinko-!"
"Sorry...sorry....just." Atsushi looks into Akutagawas eyes leaning his face down a few inches away from his.
"...this is really close.."
"S-sorry do you want me to move.."
"No."
Akutagawa touches his face pulling him into a gentle cautious kiss, Akutagawa pulls away again looking into his eyes.
"A-aku..."
"S-sorry..!"
Atsushi presses his lips into his rivals roughly kissing him deeper and hungrily grasping and gripping at Akutagawas clothes.
"O-oh! At-atsushi..."
Akutagawa whimpers a little into the kiss wrapping his warms around the smaller boys waist placing his hand on his lower back.
"W-wait...wait..! We should...T-take a breath...I-I um...I.. what is this..?" Atsushi pulls up from the kiss looking down at him blushing hard.
"W-what do you mean..?"
"Are...are we..? I-I mean do you want.."
"I have never been in a relationship..."
"M-me neither...I-I want to..! But if the ADA and the PM found out...c-could there be consequences oh...I can already hear Kunikidas lecture...and Dazais teasing...ah! Kyoka! What would she think..?"
Atsushi rambled out overthinking.
"Why does it matter what they think?"
"Huh?"
"This is between us...no one needs to know about it and I don't care if they do." Akutagawa kisses Atsushis nose gently.
"...can we keep it a secret...I-I want to be your boyfriend! But...everyone knowing..."
"We can keep it a secret." Akutagawa touches over Atsushis chest kissing him softly and gently.
"S-so...does that mean..you will be M-my boyfriend?"
"Yes it does."
Atsushi kisses him deeply smiling softly into the kiss as Akutagawa starts to pin him below him.
"I...I want to get back at you for beating me during training." Akutagawa bites his neck kissing him all over.
"O-oh! Oh fuck~ ryuu~!" Atsushi squirms around letting out little whimpers and whines as he bites him.
"So cute..." Akutagawa traces his hand down his lovers V line to his hips touching over his hip bones.
"W-wait..! Wait..! We should h-have a safe word or s-something!"
"Okay...why don't we use the traffic light system?"
"The traffic light system..?"
"If I start to do something you don't like you say 'red' if you need a moment say 'Yellow' and I'll check in if I think im hurting you...and if it's okay you say 'green'." Akutagawa explained softly holding the tiger boys waist.
"Y-yeah...that's nice...!"
"I-I'll be gentle..." Akutagawa reassures kissing his ear nibbling down his collarbone as the slips his hand under his partners boxers feeling how wet he is.
"O-oh my~ your hand~! H-ha!" Atsushi squirms around grasping his lovers shirt.
"That's is...such a cute boy.."
Atsushi covers his face feeling aroused receiving his praise and gender affirmation.
"Just...relax I'll be slow..."
"Y-you don't have t-to b-be slow..!"
Akutagawa kisses the dent of atsushis neck slowly talking of his boyfriends clothes.
"R-red!" Atsushi grabs his wrist making him stop. "S-sorry! J-just...just...w-what if you change your m-mind...about m-me being a b-boy...a-and you...you!"
Akutagawa covers his lover back up and gently muffles his worries with a kiss before pulling away kissing down his neck.
"You are my boyfriend...my handsome boy...I won't change my mind...you are a boy...I won't see you any differently." Akutagawa reassures touching his lovers thighs.
"...g-green.." Atsushi whimpers out feeling safer with the praise and affirmation. Akutagawa is hesitant before he continues undressing his boyfriend being slow and soft with his movements. Atsushi is fully naked underneath his lover looking up at him like a scared kitten.
"Oh..oh fuck you are so..." Akutagawa traces circles around Atsushis body before undressing himself, Akutagawas view of his 'rival' didn't change. He still sees him as a boy. "Such a handsome boy..." Akutagawa whispers into his lovers ear kissing it a little as he rubs his length over his wet entrance.
"A-aku...y-you are being so...so soft...so nice.."
"I don't want to hurt you...I have been...so...dismissive...this is...an intimate moment...it should just be soft..." Akutagawa slowly slides himself inside his partner letting out a small groan.
"A-a-ah! Ah! Y-yellow! Y-yellow..!" Atsushi squirms grabbing his hand.
"Shhh...good boy...good boy.." Akutagawa thrusts fully inside him staying still inside his lover giving him gentle kisses over his cheek.
Atsushi sobs a little tears streaming down his face as Akutagawa kisses them off his face holding onto his hand tightly offering some silent support.
After a few moments it feels good for Atsushi he lets out a small whine and nods. "G-green..."
Akutagawa starts to slowly and gently move inside him being cautious and purposefully with his movements watching his lovers reactions.
"A-aku~ h-ha! Mmm~ h-ha~ h-hm!" Atsushi moans so softly feeling nothing but pleasure in the moment with Akutagawa's gentle movements.
"A-atsushi~ f-fuck...fuck...I-I'm close..." akutagawa moans out as he kisses the soft spots on the tiger boys neck, his gentle movement got sloppier as he felt himself getting close to his orgasm.
"I-I am asw-well a-akutagawa!" Atsushi trembles and soon reaches his orgasm quickly squeezing his partners hand as he cums other the both of their chests unable to hold back, akutagawa soon follows thrusting fully inside before letting himself release, he tried to muffle his small whimpers and moans into Atsushis neck feeling embarrassed of his soft noises. Atsushi could hear them and he found it so arousing wrapping his trembling arms over his partners waist, Akutagawa collapsed onto him hiding his face in his lovers neck.
The two of them lay there panting a little touching over each-others body's with gentle stokes until they can think straight, the comfortable silence being broken by Atsushi.
"...that was...so good..I-I love...I love you."
Akutagawa felt the heat in his cheeks rise up unable to tell him those same words back, so he squeezes his hand and kisses his neck three times hoping to get the message across to his love.
Atsushi understands and smiles softly kissing him on the cheek snuggling into him comfortably.
Akutagawa slowly pulls out and lays down just beside Atsushi holding onto him.
"...thank you..I'm glad...that it was you who was my first.." Akutagawa confesses his voice soft and gentle compared to how cold it normally is.
"So am I...s-so am I.." Atsushi grabs onto Akutagawa closing his eyes making sure he is still touching him as he slowly falls asleep.