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Nurse Crowne laughed, a beautiful sound that Data knew he would never be able to successfully mimic. He did not understand why she was laughing so loudly at what Geordi had said, and consciously furrowed his brow to demonstrate his confusion. Geordi did not explain, nor did he look at Data; he was focused upon Nurse Crowne, grinning widely so that his teeth glowed bright in the low light that permeated the back of the bar. Data silently sipped his biofuel and looked around Ten Forward, wondering if he should leave Geordi with his date.
Geordi had been romantically involved with Amandine Crowne for two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty-nine minutes. Despite Geordi's explanation that the relationship was "casual" – he had used the confusing phrase "no strings attached" – Nurse Crowne had, since the first date, been present at 64% of Geordi and Data's customary mealtime gatherings. She was attractive by human standards, with large black eyes, a rounded nose, full lips, and dark curls. Her chosen profession suggested she was caring, intelligent, and adventurous. She performed her duties competently and was always polite to Data, yet, for reasons Data could not diagnose, he frequently experienced a certain adverse reaction to her presence.
Logically, Data knew he should be happy (as happy as his limited emotions could allow) for Geordi, especially in light of the fact that Geordi often found it difficult to "land a date", a fact which baffled Data. Anyone could see that Geordi was interesting and brilliant and physically attractive.
Nurse Crowne touched Geordi's arm, curving her fingers gently around his forearm. As Geordi leaned toward her touch, the adverse reactions that Data had been anticipating were activated: his pulse increased by 17% and an unseen weight pressed against his pneumatic systems as if he were being smothered. He did not need to breathe – he knew he did not need to – yet now the absence of breath unsettled him. His legs felt unsteady beneath him as he stood.
"Excuse me." He did not wait to see Geordi's reaction, did not dare to stop walking until he had reached his quarters and Spot was rubbing against his legs, her tail held high and her small body vibrating with subvocal oscillations. He picked her up and held her against his chest. The adverse reactions were already subsiding; he consciously slowed his pulse as he activated a diagnostic routine. As expected, it found no aberrations.
"I am not malfunctioning, Spot," Data informed his cat as he sat on his unrumpled bed, setting Spot on his lap. "But something is wrong with me."
Purring, she butted her head against his hand. There is a pattern, he thought as he petted her soft fur. A rough pattern, to be sure, but it was enough for him to hypothesize that, while sometimes Nurse Crowne's mere presence activated the reactions, they were more often triggered by the sight of her initiating physical contact with Geordi.
Very few people initiated physical contact with Data. He did not possess the same receptors as humans did, but his bioplast skin was embedded with pressure and temperature sensors – and he was most used to the light pressure of Geordi's warm hand. Out of everyone on the ship Geordi touched Data the most, touched him as if he were a person – or, Geordi used to. Since he had begun dating Nurse Crowne, his attentions toward Data had diminished greatly.
"I believe I am lonely," Data said to Spot.
"Mrrrow?"
Emotions were still alien to him. Every day he experienced new feelings he could not name. Loneliness was a new and unexpected feeling. Years ago at the Academy he had had few friends; no one spoke to him unless it was to assess his abilities as a machine or to tease him, and no one touched him unless they were examining his circuits and ports. It had not bothered him then. Only now, thinking back to those years before he met Geordi, before he knew of Lore or his father or Juliana – he would have been lonely then, if only he had known how to be. He understood that now. It was a startling revelation, a fresh facet of humanity, and it hurt. He hadn't realized, before, how big emotions were, how they could make one feel like one's heart – or the nearest equivalent of a heart – was twisting in one's chest.
He was lonely without Geordi, but he was uncertain if Geordi was lonely without him. Geordi seemed happy with Amandine, happy enough to not give Data another thought. Perhaps, then, Data should attempt to be happy with someone else as well. He, too, could find a partner… He considered. Tasha had expressed interest in him, but their time together had been very brief and Tasha was gone. Ard'rian and Jenna D'sora had made romantic overtures, but Ard'rian was far away on Tau Cygna V and Jenna and him had amicably parted ways. Kivas Fajo had made it clear he sexually desired Data – no, he did not want to think about Fajo.
Clearly he needed to improve his romantic prospects. He had much to offer a potential mate, but it appeared that others generally did not find him attractive. He had learned much since Jenna, was more emotionally developed, and he had a good career, so what was he lacking?
Further introspection revealed one avenue of possible self-improvement. He rarely gave much thought to his physical appearance. Perhaps that was hindering him. Spot may love him regardless of appearance, but humanoids, unlike felines, tended to be more superficially inclined.
Physical attractiveness, among humanoids, generally encompasses: a symmetrical face with proportional features; unblemished skin; limbs and head proportional to the trunk, as well as relative to each other. The presence of hair is not necessary but is often considered desirable.
Data's face was imperfectly symmetrical. The right corner of his mouth was 5% higher than the left corner, and his left eyebrow was 8% lower than his right. His nose was overly long and his lips relatively thin, though his skin glowed a smooth white tinged with metallic gold. Similarly, his body lacked proportionality, as his shoulders were relatively wide and his arms top long for his frame.
Among the Kayan Lahwi, an elongated neck was highly desirable. In ancient Japan, the practice of ohaguro was used to darken teeth to enhance a woman's beauty. In ancient Greece unibrows were prized. The Andorians prefer long, delicate antennae; and Vulcans demonstrate a preference for faces free of wrinkles, indicating a habitual lack of facial expression, and therefore a lack of emotion.
Data's studies indicated that, even among humanoids, physical attractiveness varied widely based on geography, time period, and culture. Therefore, in order to enhance his attractiveness, the most logical course would be to enact improvements based on what his potential mate might desire. The principal flaw, of course, was that he had not selected a potential mate, and therefore would be forced to rely upon guesswork.
His database supplied a final, vague entry: A common Terran axiom states that the perception of beauty is subjective: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
More research, he decided, was required.
"I would like to experiment with increasing my physical attractiveness. As you are, by objective human standards, very physically attractive, I was hoping you could give me advice concerning where to direct my efforts."
Deanna blushed and her hands fluttered in demonstrations of embarrassment. "Data, I'm flattered, but why do you want to… increase your attractiveness?"
This was not a counseling session, though they were in Counselor Troi's office, Data sitting stiffly on the sofa. "Since my activation, I have been romantically approached thrice, though none of those relationships lasted long. I have realized that if I am to find a mate, it will be necessary to make myself more enticing to potential partners."
"Oh, Data." Deanna set aside her PADD and angled her body toward him, folding her hands in front of her. Data mimicked the movement, tilting his head to show that he was listening with great interest. "The right mate will find you attractive exactly as you are. You don't have to change a thing, and you have lots of time to find someone." Her eyes, Betazed-black, sharpened. "Did someone say something to you? About your appearance?"
"No, Counselor."
She relaxed. "Good. If you're feeling doubt about your appearance, I suggest you take some time to identify characteristics you possess that you think are, if not beautiful, interesting or unique about yourself. Physical beauty is not the only way to attract a partner."
"Understood. Thank you, Counselor."
Back in his quarters, Data surveyed his face in his mirror. He did not find his face particularly interesting – it was the same face which he saw every day in this same mirror – except for his eyes: pale, yellow-green irises that he had observed on none except himself and his twin brother. Why had his father given them such eyes? Thinking of his father, Data remembered that his features were modeled after the man. Even his face wasn't unique to himself. Without conscious thought, the (slightly asymmetrical) corners of his mouth turned down, and, frowning, Data turned away from the mirror.
"I am experimenting with increasing my physical attractiveness. As you are, by objective human standards, very physically attractive, I was hoping you could give me advice concerning where to direct my efforts."
Dr. Crusher raised her eyebrows. She opened and closed her mouth twice, uttering a short of broken nonsense syllables. "Ah – uh – hmmm – I don't – Data, I'm sorry but I really don't feel comfortable with this. Maybe go ask the Captain? Or Riker?"
"Of course. Thank you, Doctor."
The Captain was occupied so Data targeted Riker, who was reading reports in his quarters and looked suspiciously happy to see Data at his door.
Data immediately launched into his explanation. "I am experimenting with increasing my physical attractiveness. As you are, by objective human standards, very physically attractive, I was hoping you could give me advice concerning where to direct my efforts."
Riker, like Dr. Crusher, raised his eyebrows, though Data detected that his expression was more amusement than shock. Riker chuckled; his grin was asymmetrical. After 0.073 seconds, Data decided that Riker's eyes could be categorized as "twinkling".
"I'm happy to help. Who's the lucky girl you're trying to woo? Or guy?"
"I am not attempting to woo a specific person. I am hoping to make myself more attractive to a potential mate."
"Come here, Data. Let me tell you something." Riker gestured for Data to come closer, lowering his vocal volume by 46% as if he was imparting classified information. "You want to know what's always attractive? Confidence, Data. Doesn't matter how plain you are, if you're confident, people will notice you."
Data nodded gravely. "How do I acquire confidence?"
The twinkle in Riker's eyes flashed out. "Well, you – you have – look, there's this old saying, fake it til you make it. You act confident and eventually you become confident?"
Humans often struggled to explain abstract concepts, a problem that Data had found could be mitigated by offering concrete definitions or synonyms. " Confidence on this case may refer to: self-assurance, aplomb, certainty, the belief in one's own abilities. Does this not require a sense of pride in one's self and accomplishments?"
Riker nodded, looking relieved – an expression that promptly disappeared at Data's next words: "As an android, I cannot feel pride. I am certain of my intellectual capabilities, my physical prowess, and my professional abilities, but these are mere elements of my programming."
"You have a point," Riker said, stroking his beard. "I don't have a good explanation for you right now. I'll think about it and get back to you later, okay?"
"Thank you, sir." Data, now more confused and still lacking an answer to his query about how to improve his attractiveness, left Riker to his reports.
Regardless of personal issues, Data and Geordi still spent time together in Engineering. Geordi engaged in his usual enthusiastic discourses on the wonders of the warp core and matter-antimatter reactions, but lately when not occupied by work-related discourse he tended to turn the conversation toward Nurse Crowne. Mandi told me this funny story yesterday… Sorry I couldn't make it to poker, I was up late with Mandi. Data listened politely, and was amazed to discover that it was possible to feel lonely even when conversing with one's best friend.
Four days after questioning his coworkers on how to improve his physical attractiveness – and he still had no clear answers – Data was silently performing routine checks in Engineering while Geordi chatted beside him. Data was monitoring polarization of the nacelles when Geordi ceased speaking. Curious, Data looked at him, and found Geordi staring back.
Geordi crossed his arms. "You've hardly said a word all day. That's not like you, Data. What's going on with you?"
"I am performing – "
"You know what I mean. You've been quiet lately. Ever since I started hanging out with Mandi."
Data turned back to the console. Looking at Geordi revived his loneliness, and it was easier to think without Geordi's VISOR glinting in front of him. "I am functioning within normal parameters."
"That’s not what I asked."
Geordi was a good friend. If he knew how his romantic relationship was affecting Data he would be unhappy, and there was nothing Data wanted less than to make Geordi unhappy. Data could not actively lie, but occasionally he found that omitting information worked just as well. "I apologize. I have been occupied with searching for a potential mate."
"What?" Geordi stepped closer, reached his hand up as if to touch Data's wrist, but aborted the movement and dropped his hand to his side. Data told himself he was not pained by the empty air between them.
"I am searching for a potential mate. Romantic relationships are an aspect of human social structure in which I am lacking."
"Oh." Geordi moved away, further out of reach, and turned back to the blinking lights of his work station. "Good luck, then," he said, a hard edge to his words indicating that he did not, in fact, wish Data good luck in this endeavor.
"Geordi?" Data did not understand why Geordi was upset. "Have I done something wrong?"
"No! No, it's nothing, Data."
This time Geordi didn't hesitate to bridge the gap between them. Geordi's warm hand reached up, gently squeezed Data's shoulder. Immediately a frenzy of sensor activity exploded in Data's bioplast, so unexpected in intensity that he had the entirely irrational thought that stars were scattering across his skin. Geordi's hand dropped away and the stars fizzled to a light buzz, a ghostly imprint cupping his shoulder.
His earlier conversation with Geordi had made it clear that he had to move forward with his plan to find a mate. Thus far, his personal improvement project had been purely theoretical; practical experience was required.
Every week, if the Enterprise was not in imminent danger or dire need of repairs, Ten Forward hosted a party called a "mixer". As Data understood it, the point was to drink syntheholic beverages and engage in light social interaction. Until tonight he had avoided these mixers, as he generally had duties to attend to or social activities planned with Geordi or one of the other officers. His preparations for the event were brief. Based on his databank searches of attractive human men, the most reasonable course of action would be to change his hairstyle and darken his eyelashes. He carefully swept his hair into a side part and ruffled the strands to add volume, then replicated mascara and lightly brushed the thick brown paste against his white eyelashes.
"Acceptable," he concluded. Spot peered at him, her feline expression inexplicably conveying doubt. He smoothed the front of his uniform and arranged a few hairs to fall artfully across his forehead. I am confident. "I am 'faking it' until I 'make it'," he informed Spot.
Ten Forward, purple-lit with unobtrusive jazz permeating the air, was heavily occupied with ensigns and junior officers – not prime partner options, as Data was a senior officer and Starfleet regulations clearly prohibited relations between junior and senior officers. Nevertheless, this was a perfect opportunity for Data to practice the art of 'mingling'. Data made directly for the bar, where Guinan was busy producing drinks of varied hues, some with miniature umbrellas sticking out of the glasses. Guinan, intuitive as ever, set a glass of biofuel on the bar as Data approached. "You look nice, Data. Trying a new look?"
"Yes, Guinan. Thank you."
A promising start, he decided, and surveyed the room, searching for a group with whom he might converse. He knew many interesting anecdotes and volumes of fascinating information, but he was not personally acquainted with the majority of the mixers attendees. A small cluster of Engineering ensigns caught his attention.
"Good evening, Ensign Marquez, PO Trin, Ensign Uyzu."
He detected a distinct stiffness in their reactions to his greeting, and their enthusiasm to his news regarding recent nacelle balancing research was lacking, nor did they appear amused by his well-rehearsed dirty joke about Loracus termites and Dr. Hodgkin's 'wood'. After that they excused themselves in rapid succession, explaining that they had projects to finish. Data pondered the amount of time Engineering projects took, and whether he should ask Geordi to ease his deadlines, given that work was clearly intruding upon the junior officers' off-work hours.
He was standing at the bar when she approached him. His database identified her as Crewman E'vetk. She was very young, and she bounced on her heels and giggled nervously when he looked at her. She stared at him, brown eyes wide. "You're the android!"
Humans were often forthright, and Data was accustomed to their tendency to state the obvious. He offered a polite smile – no teeth, he reminded himself. Geordi had told him that his teeth-baring smile could be 'intimidating'. "Yes, I am."
She looked him up and down, from his tousled hair to his polished boots and back again. "You look real."
Data tilted his head, processing what she could mean. "I do exist independent of subjective perception."
She glanced to her right, emotions playing across her soft features, too fast for Data to definitively analyze their nature. She was standing a mere nine inches in front of him, a fact that registered as "too close" only when he felt the gentle press of her fingertips on the ridge of his synthetic cheekbone. Her touch did not ignite stars in his sensors. "You don't feel real."
The light pressure of her fingertips trailed along his cheek to the corner of his mouth, a touch too intimate for the setting. Even Geordi never touched Data's face, though Data would have welcomed that contact. His electronic pulse began to rise steadily, fueled by a vague, unpleasant emotion he could not name. "This is not appropriate, Crewman."
She drew back, dropping her hand from his face. Her lips twisted in a suppressed sneer. A laugh escaped her, choked as if she was trying to contain it, and he did not understand the joke. She looked to her right again and he followed her line of sight to a nearby table of three young officers, all of whom wore expressions of amusement, a couple of them holding their hands over their mouths to muffle their snickers. They were watching Data and E'vetk keenly. When they saw him looking their mirth broke containment; one Ensign had been sipping a neon green drink, and almost choked when he tried to drink while laughing.
Ah. He understood. This was a familiar game, one he thought he had left at the Academy: the game of trying to elicit an emotional reaction from the android. It had not disturbed him then, but now it made his core twist as if E'vetk had reached inside him and was wringing his central components in her small hands.
"Everything alright here?" A warm voice interrupted. Guinan stood at the other side of the counter, and though her question had not been addressed to anyone in particular her gaze was directed solely at Data.
"Fine," E'vetk answered, high-pitched, and she briskly walked to the table of junior officers. Data and Guinan watched her go, and the snickering officers stopped laughing and examined their drinks with sudden and intense interest.
Data set his empty glass on the bar counter, careful to not clench his shaking fingers around the delicate glass. Sometimes he forgot how strong he was, forgot that humans couldn't bend steel with their bare hands, forgot that his emotional reactions could be dangerous if he could not control them. "I am experiencing emotions I do not understand," he said.
"Unpleasant emotions?"
"Yes. I think… I will leave now. Thank you for the drink."
"Good night, Data."
Data left. At the door he glanced back at E'vetk and was oddly gratified to see Guinan advancing on the table of young officers, her eyes narrowed.
His quarters were quiet, save for the ever-present hum of the ship and the padded scuffling of Spot playing with a string under the low table. Data sat at his computer and considered the report he had written on the incident at the mixer, mapping the possible outcomes if he submitted it to the Captain. The junior officers would be reprimanded and the incident noted on their records, which would likely impact their chances of promotion in the future. They were young. Young humans often lacked discipline. They could be cruel, especially to those who were different. They were also susceptible to pressure from others, and E'vetk, as the most junior officer, had likely been elected to carry out the prank, which may or may not align with her usual character. Her record did not indicate a pattern of bullying.
Yet she had touched him. She had treated his rank disrespectfully, undermined his authority. He had done nothing to earn their disrespect, save for existing as an android, an existence he had not chosen or asked for. Repercussions were necessary. He submitted the report and went to play with Spot. He dangled the string and watched her leap and pounce, a happy distraction from the activity of processing the myriad emotions he was feeling toward E'vetk, toward Geordi, and toward himself.
Geordi was upset. His emotional state was evident in the tensed muscles of his forearms and in every sharp tap on the console screen. Data, due for bridge duty in seventeen minutes, paused at the Engineering room door and decided that, though Geordi would likely rebuff him in favor of Nurse Crowne, Data did not like the thought of leaving Geordi in such a state.
"Geordi? Would you like to join me on the holodeck during beta shift? It has been three months, one week, and two days since we have indulged in a Holmes adventure."
Before Nurse Crowne, Geordi had never hesitated to pay a visit to Baker Street. Now he did hesitate, delaying his reply by 2.2 seconds. "I'd like that, Data."
Data nodded and left Engineering for the bridge. All through his shift one part of his positronic brain was scanning Holmes stories, searching for one that Geordi would prefer.
The heavy mist of London pressed against the uneven glass of 221B Baker Street, shrouding the glass in murky darkness, but the interior of the flat was cozy. Data finished his violin piece on a melancholy note, while Geordi sat on the stuffed armchair by the lit fire, his left ankle crossed over his right knee, a book open but unread on his lap. Geordi's dark skin was limned gold-orange with reflected firelight, his VISOR glinting in the shadowed room. It occurred to Data that he would like to paint Geordi in this light, dressed in the brown suit of his Watson costume that made him look like a classical work of art. Geordi's face was turned to Data, but it was unclear whether he was actually looking at Data or whether his thoughts were elsewhere.
Data loosened the strings of his violin bow, purely out of habit. A holodeck-generated instrument did not require maintenance. "Geordi?"
Geordi stirred. "Hmm? Sorry, Data. I was thinking."
Data placed the violin in its velvet case, waited for Geordi to continue talking. Geordi sighed. "Mandi and I had a fight. She's fun and all, I like her, but we just wanted different things. She wants something more long-term. I want – "
Geordi broke off. This time he did not resume speaking. Data sat in the plump armchair on the other side of the fireplace. "What do you want?"
Geordi shook his head. "Nothing. It's not important. Look, I don't want to talk about it. How about you? How's your dating life? Found a mate yet?"
Geordi may not want to talk, but Data loved talking. He had not planned on telling Geordi the whole of his self-improvement project so far, but they were in 221B and they were alone and Geordi was no longer enamored with Nurse Crowne. He talked nonstop, admitting everything from his adverse reactions to the incident at the Ten Forward mixer. While lately he had been experiencing many strange new emotions, he was not embarrassed to tell these things to Geordi. Geordi, so familiar with the secret circuits of Data's interior, had never given him reason to be embarrassed.
When Data finished Geordi exhaled slowly. His hands were clenched on the armrest of his chair. "Damn, Data. I don't know where to start. First of all, I'm sorry I ignored you. I didn't mean to. It was just… nice to be wanted, you know?"
Data did know. After all, it was nice when Geordi wanted him around.
"I'm glad you reported those ensigns. You deserve better. You know that, right?"
"I know."
Geordi had said he didn't wish to talk about it, but the question of what Geordi wanted that Nurse Crowne couldn't provide was bothering Data, insistent as Spot at her dinner time."Geordi, how are you and Nurse Crowne incompatible? What do you want?"
The fire crackled and spat a whirl of embers. Geordi's VISOR flared gold then dimmed with the dwindling light. Slowly he reached across the space between their chairs until his hand found Data's splayed across the armrest. Curious, Data flipped his hand so that his palm met Geordi's, and Geordi tightened his fingers, twining their interlaced fingers even closer. "This. Do you?"
Suddenly it all made sense. The fragmented array of his recent emotions, his unpleasant reaction to Nurse Crowne, his sensors sparking at Geordi's touch. He loved Geordi, and here Geordi was holding his hand and telling Data "I want you". All of Data's questions – Are you speaking romantically? How long have you wanted this? Why did you seek companionship with others if I was who you wanted, and I was beside you already? – were overwhelmed by the warmth of Geordi's skin. Questions could wait. He wanted to enjoy this, however they chose to classify it outside the confines of the holodeck, while it lasted. "Yes, I do."
He carefully tightened his hold on Geordi, mindful of delicate human bones between his duranium metacarpals. Geordi smiled wide, the smile he only displayed when he was at his happiest."For what it's worth, Data, I think you're beautiful."
Of course, Geordi saw him differently than others did, and maybe that was why he thought Data was beautiful. Still, Data was pleased. "Thank you, Geordi. You are also very physically attractive."
Geordi laughed. In the darkening room they held hands, the only two people in their holodeck-generated world, and Data was happy.