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Wooyoung is a kisser. He kisses to show affection, to annoy, to tease, to amuse himself. After years of working and cohabitating with seven men, all of them been thoroughly pecked, each cheek and each pair of lips blessed with Wooyoung’s smooch attack. Some tolerate it more readily than others, but tolerate it they all do.
But when it comes to the other seven kissing each other, Wooyoung can see they have some work to do before they can properly deliver a kiss up to his standards. For example: Hongjoong and Jongho kissing Seonghwa during filming earlier. Terrible execution, atrocious form. Disappointing all around. Seonghwa deserved to be kissed often, and by someone who knows how. Not this sad mashing of face to cheek, lips tight and pursed, not properly puckered to land a satisfying smack.
He thinks about it on the ride back to their new home, he thinks about it in the shower, he thinks about it as he sits next to Hongjoong on their couch, looking over his shoulder to choose what he wants for their takeout order; Jongho having made his request already and gone to shower. He brings it up once Hongjoong places the order.
“It’s such a shame that Seonghwa can’t get a proper kiss from his only captain,” he laments dramatically, flinging his arms along the back of the couch.
Hongjoong rolls his eyes, not even deigning to give Wooyoung a verbal response.
“This is serious! Hyung needs to know that he’s loved! He deserves better than that sorry excuse for a kiss you gave him earlier. Not to mention the one he got from Jongho. It’s like you’ve learned nothing from being around me.”
“Mmm, I’m sure Seonghwa will survive somehow.” Hongjoong finally replies. He’s still looking at his phone, not even sparing Wooyoung a single glance. Probably hoping Wooyoung will get bored and leave him alone. Wooyoung will not be deterred tonight. He’s feeling reckless.
“I could teach you how, you know. To kiss.”
That gets Hongjoong's attention. He turns to look at Wooyoung finally, face twisting in utter disgust, the way his face gets when he’s deeply offended, or conned into eating a vegetable.
“You think I don't know how to kiss?”
The contemptuous tone of his voice makes a little warmth flare in Wooyoung's gut, the hot mix of genuine shame that he may have offended Hongjoong combined with the sexy anticipation of getting told off for it. The special feeling he gets when Hongjoong lets himself get needled over something silly and inconsequential, knowing that he's not being scolded for real.
Before Wooyoung's instigator brain can catch up to what's going on there's a weight on his lap, a hand curling around the nape of his neck, fingers twining through his hair, soft lips on his. Hongjoong is kissing him. Hongjoong is kissing him well. Better than anyone else ever has. Every little action is perfectly balanced, feels perfectly calibrated to drive Wooyoung crazy. Hongjoong's fingers tighten in Wooyoung's hair just so, a pleasantly painful tug, his tongue moves purposefully, and when he sucks on Wooyoung's lower lip he bites it gently, sharp canines pressing in with the promise of more pleasure and more pain, sweet and spicy just the way Wooyoung likes it.
If Wooyoung had been standing his knees would be weak. Hongjoong pushes even closer to him, chest to chest against the back of the couch, moving to grab Wooyoung's wrists to pin his hands down as he leans in to breathe into Wooyoung's ear, voice low and dangerous.
“You think I don't know how to kiss just because I act shy on camera? I know you're smarter than that, Young-ah,”
Hongjoong nips at Wooyoung's neck to drive his point home. Under Hongjoong’s weight, Wooyoung knows his diamond hard erection is not going unnoticed. The embarrassment of this realization only serves to arouse him more.
“Our fans love seeing you and San dry-hump each other on camera. That's your brand. They love seeing me act like a little tsundere cat who hates affection – or pretends to hate it. That's my brand. We can't all act like sluts in front of a camera. Variety is the appeal of an idol group.”
All Wooyoung can do it stare, wide-eyed and breathless. In this instance he doesn't mind admitting he was wrong. Maybe if he’s good Hongjoong will move his round ass in Wooyoung’s lap, give him a little friction. He wants to move his arms, put his hands around Hongjoong’s waist, but he’s held in place and afraid to fight too much lest Hongjoong decide this is all he deserves.
Jongho chooses that moment to come out of the shower, short shorts and shirtless, towel drying his damp hair. Hongjoong smoothly removes himself from Wooyoung’s lap, back to his previous spot on the couch. The tension is broken.
“What did I miss?”
“Wooyoung thought I needed him to teach me how to kiss.”
Wooyoung feels like he's sunken into the couch, stuck to it forever, but he recovers quickly, whipping his head around in time to see Jongho smirking in a way that can only be described as evil.
“Why would he think that?”
“He thought I didn’t kiss Seonghwa the way he deserved when we were filming earlier.”
“Oh.” Jongho looks thoughtful. “Will you teach me, then?”
Wooyoung doesn’t like the “tch!” sound Hongjoong makes next to him. He’ll show him. He’ll show them all.
“Of course. Of course I’ll teach you.”
He doesn’t trust his jelly legs to carry him just yet, and he’s still desperately flexing his thighs in an attempt to make his boner go away. He can’t embarrass himself in front of the youngest. Not that he hasn’t before.
“I’m waiting, hyung. Please teach me.” Jongho adds an obnoxious little whine to his voice, the way he talks when he’s trying to get his way, being annoying on purpose, or both. Sometimes it has a sarcastic edge to it. Wooyoung isn’t sure if he heard it this time.
He pushes himself up from the couch and stands up straight, affecting his best professorial manner as he approaches stupid sexy Jongho, bare chest gently gleaming from the lotion he’d rubbed on after his shower, towel slung around his neck, damp hair falling sexily in front of his eyes.
“The best way to learn something is by doing it,” he proclaims loftily. “Kiss me, Jongho. I’ll demonstrate the correct technique for you.”
Wooyoung doesn’t really expect Jongho to kiss him properly, if at all. He expects a tense, closed mouth mashing against his, something begrudging and juvenile, like a child who doesn't want to kiss his grandma. What he gets is practically swept off his feet. Jongho cups one hand around his cheek and fits the other around his waist, tipping him back slightly as he captures Wooyoung’s lips, savoring them passionately like a sommelier with the finest wine. If Hongjoong’s kiss had made him feel carnally desired with a piquant edge of degradation, Jongho’s makes him feel cherished, valued, cared for. This time there’s no couch to save his weak knees, just Jongho’s strong, warm hands holding him up.
The chime of the doorbell brings him out of his kissed-stupid daze. The food is here, much too quickly. Hongjoong gets up to answer, laughing a dry little chuckle on his way to the door.
If Wooyoung can’t get any relief for his libido right now at least he has the sensual pleasure of chicken to soothe him for the time being. He chews thoughtfully while they watch tv and eat together. If Jongho and Hongjoong keep giving each other significant looks of barely contained mirth from either side of him, he pretends he does not see it.
“Admit it. You were completely wrong about us.” Hongjoong says eventually.
“Yes. I was wrong. I’m a man, I can own up to my mistakes.”
“You know that reluctant act was just playing for the camera, right? You should really know us better at this point." Jongho adds.
“That’s what Hongjoong said too. How was I supposed to know how much you’ve both clearly been kissing other people behind my back? Where’d our maknae learn to kiss like that? Did Hongjoong get to teach you first?”
That question is rewarded by the rare, beautiful sight of Hongjoong squirming a little. Jongho laughs.
“Hyung learned from me.”
“Jongho-ya! Then where did you learn?”
“A true gentleman keeps the secrets of his lovers.”
“What the hell! You didn’t keep my secret just now!”
“You were just my student, not my lover.”
The two of them bicker. Wooyoung eats his chicken and wonders if he can get them to kiss him again. Maybe at the same time. Maybe even naked.