Chapter Text
No matter how safe you feel: Just a brief moment can change everything.
This experience painfully reminded Friede that he couldn't let his guard down, not even for a moment. He had been inattentive, and Liko had paid the price. The Explorers were many things, but they were not squeamish. They didn't care if an opposing trainer was in the line of fire of their Pokemon attacks. Friede hadn't been fast enough to intercept the attack, and it had nearly cost the young girl an arm. Fortunately, her Sprigatito had been able to prevent the worst, but that didn't change the fact that Friede had had to carry his bleeding, pain-stricken protégée to safety.
This image had burned itself into Friede's head. It haunted him at night when he slept and made him jump. Some nights he couldn't fall asleep because he couldn't get it out of his head. He hated to admit it to himself, but he was afraid. It was a paralyzing fear that something would happen to his crew. Because this scenario was as real as it had ever been. How would he be able to live with his guilt if he failed again? What if the next time it didn't stop at a wound, but someone took permanent damage or worse? How would he ever be able to face Liko's parents again?
The racing thoughts prevented him from falling asleep. And so he lay awake night after night. He couldn't sleep, neither in his bed nor in the cockpit. That was when he decided to use these wakeful phases more effectively.
At first, he started patrolling the ship. He paced the deck, through the dark corridors, through the kitchen and common rooms... Whenever he heard something suspicious, he stopped and listened in. But he only heard the chirping of the nocturnal Pokemon outside, or now and then some soft snoring of his slumbering friends. So vulnerable... he had to make sure they would continually find their sleep in peace and without worry.
After a few days of patrolling, he became restless and decided to take Charizard out to scout the immediate area. The Pokemon was skeptical at first, but its trainer made it clear how important the matter was to him. Charizard understood and Friede was infinitely grateful to it.
The nighttime flights became more frequent. Eventually they became his nightly routine. He would first go to his room (telling the others he was going to sleep), wait until everyone was asleep, and then wake Charizard. For a long time this went well and no one suspected anything. Cap did give him questioning looks and pointed out the growing bags under his eyes, but Friede assured it that he was just having a bad night's sleep. In that one moment, he was glad that Pokemon didn't speak human language – because that way Cap couldn't voice its concerns to the others.
It felt strange to be pretending to his friends. But what was he supposed to do if he couldn't sleep? Mollie would prescribe some kind of sleeping pills, but that would prevent him from waking up quickly enough, should they be attacked at night. Apart from that, he was quite wary of drugs that interfered so much with his cognition. Also, if they got wind of it, his entire crew would definitely try to stop him. He couldn't let that happen. Eventually he would be able to sleep better again and until then, he would use the nights to keep everyone safe.
In the mornings, just in time for sunrise, he would quietly sneak back to his room, usually so exhausted that he would fall into a dreamless sleep, at least for a short hour. He was uneasy about that hour of uncertainty, but he knew that Murdock and Orla usually woke up around that time, so at least one of them could act in a case of emergency.
One morning Friede staggered sleepily into the common room, where everyone (except for Dot, of course) was clearing their breakfast dishes.
"Morning everyone," Friede yawned, slipping on his flight jacket as he walked.
"Hey sleepyhead, you missed breakfast again. When did you become a late riser?" asked Orla, amused.
Murdock noticed him coming in. “Oh, do you want me to leave everything on the table for you?" he wanted to know, putting back the bread basket he had been about to take to the kitchen.
Friede needed a moment. "Huh? Oh, no, no, I'll just grab an apple or something."
The cook shrugged and took the basket away. Friede heard him a little later in the kitchen with Liko, Roy, and Orla, who were about to fill the dishwasher. Apparently Liko's Sprigatito had grabbed a scrub brush and was playing with it, the others were trying to catch the Pokemon.
Friede poured himself a cup of coffee from the thermos and dropped into a chair, sighing. That’s when he felt a piercing look on him. Mollie sat at the other end of the table, eyeing him critically with her arms folded.
"I think you could use something more substantial. You've lost weight, Friede, and you were almost too thin anyway," she noted. Her eyes did not leave him.
Friede swallowed, but he tried not to let his nervousness show. He sipped his coffee and leaned back.
"You worry too much, I eat more than enough. Same as always, actually."
Mollie tilted her head. "Oh yeah, when was the last time you had an actual breakfast?"
"...Yesterday?"
"Black coffee is not a breakfast, Friede."
"Yeah yeah, I get it. But I just don't have that much of an appetite right now. Don't worry, it's nothing. Didn't even notice, honestly.“
Mollie sighed and shook her head. She looked at him insistently, her features softening.
"You're our captain, Friede, and you can't just take care of everyone else all the time. You need to take better care of yourself," she said in a much softer tone. Then she frowned. "Are you all right otherwise? You're very pale. Are you sleeping enough?"
Friede raised his hands defensively.
"Yes, for Arceus’ sake; and you tell me I’m a worrywart," he replied soothingly, then rose with his coffee in one hand.
"That's what I'm here for, you know," Mollie reminded with a grin. As Friede was about to leave the room, she added, "Friede?"
"Huh?" He turned to her questioningly – just in time to catch the apple flying toward him. He had almost spilled his coffee.
"Don't forget that one. And I'll bring you a sandwich later."
Friede rolled her eyes, but thanked her and hurriedly left the room before she could question him further. Whew, just in time. He would have to watch out for Mollie's eagle eyes.
After their conversation at the breakfast table, Friede managed to skillfully avoid Mollie by staying away from a direct confrontation. He only encountered her when the others were around, so she didn’t address him about his condition again. He also made an effort to eat breakfast with the others now and then, showing his willingness to maintain a regular eating pattern. In reality, however, he continued not to have much of an appetite and ate only as much as necessary to avoid attracting attention.
He had a feeling, though, that Mollie had alerted Orla and Murdock to her observations. For the other two were now also making suspicious remarks from time to time, asking him questions about his well-being. It also didn’t go unnoticed how Murdock always offered to fill the plates for everyone, only to pile up more for Friede than for everyone else. Under other circumstances, Friede would have been moved by that, but in this situation, it just made him uncomfortable. Whenever he could, he slipped some of the food to his Pokemon.
His nightly excursions continued, for he still found no sleep. Something was stirring among the Explorers and his heart was pounding at the thought of them showing up again. Liko had recovered from her injury, but it had been far too close. No 10-year-old child should have to go through something like that. Not now and not in the future. Friede had to do everything he could to ensure her safety.
And so he crept out every night, flying the perimeter, looking out for anything unusual, listening for sounds. Ignoring his exhaustion and his sometimes fuzzy field of vision. He would not let it deter him.
Murdock woke up. But he didn't know why. It was pitch black in his room. Outside his window, too. A glance at his watch indicated that he had only been asleep for half an hour. It was the middle of the night. Strange.
Then he heard soft noises coming from the hallway. He held his breath, listening carefully. It sounded like footsteps moving away. Probably Roy again, fetching himself a glass of water. The boy drank and ate like there was no tomorrow. Certainly healthy for a child his age. Quite in contrast to the adult Friede, who at the moment apparently hardly ate a piece of bread and a banana a day.
Murdock didn't hear the footsteps again and his eyes were already falling shut. Thus he let himself sink back into the pillow and slipped back into a peaceful sleep.
That same night, Friede had been particularly tired and had only gone for a small round. He was later sitting at the breakfast table – on time with the others for a change. He was idly spooning a small bowl of cereal, when Murdock suddenly reported something that made him pause.
"Were you in the kitchen late last night, Roy?"
"Huh? Don't know, don't think so."
"You sure? I heard someone in the hall."
Friede was resolutely silent, concentrating entirely on his cereal.
"Maybe it was Dot?" interjected Liko excitedly. The gleam in her eyes told him that in the future she would try to "accidentally" meet her shut-in friend at night.
Orla laughed. "I can't imagine, there was nothing to eat in the kitchen."
Friede felt Mollie's gaze on him and he quickly decided to contribute something after all.
"Maybe one of the Pokemon. Or Roy's been sleepwalking lately," he said with a grin.
The conversation then went in a different direction and inwardly Friede breathed a sigh of relief. He had to be more careful this night. Remember: tread softly, don't trample. Especially in front of the rooms.
A few days later, Orla awoke at 5 a. m. to the ringing of her alarm clock. Uncoordinated, she eventually found the OFF switch and yawned profusely. So early... But it couldn't be helped. She had a few more important repairs to make before they took off, that she hadn't managed to do yesterday. Friede had sent her to bed at some point because it had gotten so late. So more work for today.
She put on her work clothes, splashed some cold water over her face, and made her way to the workshop as quietly as possible. She just had to weld a seam and tighten a few screws, then she would be done. Her Pokemon needed a break from yesterday's work, though, so Charizard was going to help her that morning.
But Charizard was not on the deck. She searched in every corner and called softly for the big dragon, but she got no response. She was about to go below deck to check Friede’s room, when she heard a rhythmic flapping of wings from a distance. She looked to the horizon, squinted her eyes, and tried to discern what was approaching... It was Charizard. With Friede on its back.
Confused, she strode towards them on the deck and saw them land in front of her a short time later. Charizard moved as smoothly and elegant as ever - she couldn't say the same for her captain. At a snail's pace, he slid off his Pokemon's back, moaning softly as he reached the floor.
"Friede! Where did you come from?“
"Oh, we were just out for a stroll, enjoying the sunrise and nice air," he replied. He sounded exhausted. Orla crossed her arms.
"You guys look like you've been out half the night. What time did you get up?"
Friede avoided her gaze. "Hmm, just before sunrise I think. Sooo, around four, four-thirty? Well, I’m gonna hit the hay for another hour. Charizard's helping you today, right? I'll see you later then."
He staggered toward the cabins.
"Wait!" called Orla after him, "Are you all right, Friede? You've been so absent-minded lately, kind of not yourself. Mollie has mentioned it to us, too..."
Friede paused, but didn't turn around. A deep sigh escaped him. "Mollie's worrying way too much, as usual. I'm fine, just dead tired. Well then *yawn*, g’night. Don't go too hard on Charizard."
Orla looked after him, concerned. Something wasn't right. She needed to talk to the others again.
Just one night later, Roy lay awake longer than usual. They had a special tour planned for the next day and he was so excited he couldn't fall asleep. Fuecoco slept peacefully, snoring softly beside him.
Then he heard the creaking of a door. Had he just imagined it? He sharpened his ears. No, there were definitely footsteps outside his room now. He slipped quietly out of bed - careful not to wake his Pokemon - and tiptoed to the door. When the footsteps on the other side had moved away towards the deck, he slowly opened his door. Who else was awake at this hour?
He slipped out into the hall, left his door open just a bit and went after the person. At the top of the stairs, he stopped. There stood Friede with Charizard. Should Roy approach them or stay hidden? Why was he even so unsure? Maybe because Friede had been so weird around everyone lately… He seemed to avoid them, hardly ever ate with them, and always seemed out of it.
Roy decided to duck into the shadows and watch for now. Without words, Friede climbed onto Charizard's back and they took off. The young trainer crouched a little further into the dark corner as they circled over the ship once before flying off into the night - wherever they were headed.
Roy waited a few minutes, but the captain did not return. Frowning, he emerged from the shadows. When would his mentor return? And why had he taken off in the middle of the night in the first place, all alone at that?
He continued to speculate, but went back to his room. Friede was an adult and very strong - he would know exactly what he was doing. So Roy lay back in his bed and devoted himself to falling asleep once more.
But the situation gave him no peace and he was still far too excited about their excursion as well. A few hours later, while it was still pitch dark, he got up again, sneaked out and went up to the deck. Charizard was not there. And there was no other sign that Friede had returned.
A little later, the boy knocked on Liko's door. He knew she was a light sleeper most of the time, so he wasn't surprised when she opened the door shortly after in her pajamas. She rubbed her eyes tiredly.
"Roy?" she whispered, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I am. But Friede flew away earlier. Do you know where?"
"Friede flew away? Why would he, it’s the middle of the night, isn't it?"
"I know, totally weird."
"Hasn't he come back yet?“
Roy shook his head. Liko immediately seemed a little more awake. She waved Roy inside and closed the door behind him. Probably so they wouldn't wake the others.
"What could he be doing outside?"
Roy shrugged. "Don't know, but he's gone with Charizard. And has been for a couple of hours."
"He's not going to... head to the Explorers’, is he?" asked Liko anxiously.
"That would be dangerous! Would Friede really do that?"
Liko seemed to ponder and finally sat down on her bed, where Sprigatito was snoozing.
"... To be honest, I have no idea. I don't think so, but lately he's been acting so weird. Mollie and the others seem worried, too."
Roy slammed a fist on his palm.
"Okay, clear case. Let's go find him!"
"A-all by ourselves? It's the middle of the night, that’s dangerous."
"Hmm, no, let's take the adults with us instead," Roy agreed.
Liko jumped up. „Yeah, come on, let's go wake everyone up. I have a bad feeling.“
Murdock was feeling anxious. The crew had been worried about its captain for some time now. It wasn't like Friede to be so withdrawn. Lately, he always seemed exhausted, out of sorts. He looked terribly haggard, his iconic flight jacket suddenly looking far too large over his gaunt frame.
A person suddenly eating much less than usual was never a good sign. It usually indicated that there was a much deeper problem. Either physical or mental. But so far Friede had blocked all of their approaches, had pretended to be strong. The fact that he had now disappeared in the middle of the night only confirmed their assumption that something was wrong. What was he doing out there? Catching Pokemon? Training? Taking on the Explorers on his own?
They split up. Mollie held down the fort on the ship. Orla and Liko searched south - Murdock, Cap and Roy went north. The search began quite late around 3 a.m., yet they were wide awake.
Other boys Roy's age would have been tired and fallen asleep standing up at this hour. The young bundle of energy in Murdock’s search party, on the other hand, seemed wide awake, tirelessly calling out Friede's name. His Pokemon partner Fuecoco was also uncharacteristically focused. Murdock kept trying to call his friend and left several text messages, but the latter either didn't have his Smart Rotom with him or was ignoring any attempts to contact him. Frustrated, the ship's cook focused on shouting names and observing the surrounding area lit by his flashlight and Cap's flashes.
They searched until sunset started and by then, they still hadn’t discovered anything. In a phone call to Mollie and Orla, they sadly heard that the others hadn’t encountered Friede either. Murdock felt increasingly sick to the gut. There was a fear welling up inside him that he hadn't experienced in a long time.
All of a sudden, Rockruff began to bark. They had taken him as a tracking dog, along with one of Friede’s t-shirts as a scent reference. The Pokemon seemed upset, running ahead into the bushes, the trainers immediately hurrying after it. This was the first clue that night and hope sprouted in them. Maybe Friede was standing at the next corner, calmly picking berries. And then he would jokingly ask them why they were all so nervous…
They reached a clearing - no sign of Friede. Rockruff had stopped and was staring up at the sky. Murdock stepped closer, confused.
"Hmm, what's the matter? What have you found?"
A flapping of wings announced Friede’s Charizard. It roared and kicked up the dust around them before landing on the ground. No rider sat on its back.
"Charizard! Where's Friede?" asked Murdock.
The fire dragon turned sideways and motioned for them to sit on its back.
"Will you lead us to him?" asked Roy.
A nod. The boy didn't hesitate a second and jumped up. Murdock sat behind him, Cap on his shoulder. That way he could hold Roy more securely if necessary. They took off right away.
They flew over the forest to the sea. As they reached the cliffs, Charizard began to fly lower. The cliffs? Surely, Friede wouldn’t have... Murdock's heart was pounding madly. Pure horror broke over him. His eyes darted over the sea near the cliff, over the beaches, over the rocks near the shore.
Charizard obviously had a certain destination in mind, though. It spun a circle over the sea and flew halfway up the cliffs directly toward the rocks. In the twilight, Murdock tried to make out anything on the cliffs. And sure enough, there was something white....
"Friede!" he shouted, jumping off Charizard's back even before the Pokemon had finished landing.
Friede sat slumped in a spacious alcove in the cliff wall. He sat with his back against the wall, legs outstretched, looking as if he were asleep. He did not stir.
"Friede! Hey!" shouted Murdock again, dropping down by his friend's side. He shook his shoulder – gently, but inwardly on the verge of fear and despair.
It wasn't until a few seconds later, after Roy and Cap had also reached them, that they got a response. Friede groaned, slowly opening his eyes a crack.
"Huh? What's the matter? Murdock?"
Murdock breathed a sigh of relief. He had feared the worst.
"Thank Arceus... Friede, what happened? What in the world are you doing here?"
"Here? Where is here?"
He straightened up, appearing to have trouble doing so.
"Easy, easy," Murdock said.
The captain of the Brave Asagi let his disoriented gaze slide over the rocky alcove and the sea. His gaze fell on Charizard, then Cap, then Roy and Murdock. He seemed at a loss for words.
"Do you remember how you got here?"
Friede pondered, holding his head exhaustedly as if it ached.
"Ugh, vaguely. I... took off with Charizard to scout out the area. Just wanted to make sure everything was safe. But I was so terribly tired all of a sudden. Had to land," Friede recalled. He leaned back against the wall again.
Murdock took one of his wrists and felt for a pulse. He wasn't an expert in the field like Mollie, but even he knew that a human pulse definitely shouldn't be that weak.
"Pika!" Cap made himself heard as well.
"We should go back and let the others know!" suggested Roy.
Murdock nodded. "Yes. Could you call Mollie? Please tell her we're on our way with Friede. Tell her to get ready and call the girls back to the Asagi.“
"Will do!" Roy confirmed nervously, and immediately set to work.
Murdock looked down at Friede, who had closed his eyes again. He had never seen his friend and captain so frail and vulnerable. Even when the man was tired or nervous, he had always remained composed and focused up until now. Friede lying before him, passive and seemingly only half conscious, made Murdock shudder. He needed help as soon as possible.
He carefully grasped Friede's arm and slung it over his shoulder. The fact that he could lift and steady him almost effortlessly was not a good sign. His body seemed much too light. Even worse, Friede made no effort to resist the treatment, let alone show any reaction at all....
Charizard took a firm but gentle hold on its trainer, while the others climbed back onto the Pokemon's back. The flight would seem like an eternity to them.
The rest of the Rising Volt Tacklers was waiting for them on the deck of the Asagi. Liko was startled when she noticed Friede's condition. Mollie and Orla were similarly upset.
"Take him to the infirmary with me. Orla, please go with Liko and Roy to the common room. We'll join you later," Mollie urged them.
"But-!"
Orla put a hand on his shoulder. “Roy, please have faith. Mollie and Murdock will make sure he’s okay. Come on, you two. We'll make some cocoa while we wait," Orla said, gently leading the children away.
Murdock followed the young nurse into the treatment room. Friede finally stirred again on the way there.
"Put him on the bed, please," Mollie said, grabbing her utensils. Murdock did as instructed, ignoring his friend's weak protest.
"I'm fine, Mollie...just need some sleep."
She snorted in frustration. "Seriously, Friede? This is getting ridiculous. Please shut up for once and let us help you.“
Friede then fell silent. Either because he no longer had the strength to protest or because she had struck a nerve, Murdock couldn't tell. Maybe it was a mix of both. In any case, Friede let it all wash over him.
As scared as Murdock was, it was somewhat reassuring that they had found him. That he hadn't met his end by the cliffs… Everything else they could work out and deal with. At least he had high hopes for that.
It turned out that Friede was suffering from exhaustion beyond belief. At Mollie's insistence, he finally admitted that he had hardly slept for weeks and had regularly been out at night. On top of that, constant malnutrition had drained him. He was now being fed nutrients and fluids through an IV to initiate his recovery. After that, he would have to eat quite a lot to regain his strength.
The next priority was to get lots and lots of sleep. If Friede refused or couldn't fall asleep, he would be given sleeping pills. Without argument.
"No, I can’t..."
"Why not?" Mollie wanted to know.
"Shouldn’t sleep...too dangerous."
"Dangerous? Why is that? What happens when you sleep, Friede?"
He avoided her gaze.
"They could come back at any time. Attack us. If they hurt any of you... I can't let that happen."
Mollie shuddered. Her hand tightened over her mouth as it finally clicked.
"Oh Arceus... Friede. All this because you were trying to protect us? Because of what happened to Liko?"
He didn't answer, just stared at the ceiling.
"That wasn't your fault, Friede. We trust you. So please have faith in us, too... We all want you to be okay. We don’t want you to sacrifice yourself."
Again, Friede gave no response. Mollie eventually decided to leave him alone for now and left the room. Murdock would stay with him for the time being. And she... needed a moment to process everything.