To Hold and Dream

by Lost_Elf

Summary:

Morpheus is Professor Gadling's best student. They also happen to have a huge, forbidden crush on each other. What will happen if Morpheus goes into heat just as he is about to meet with his teacher privately?

Notes:

• Inspired by On Fire by TheSpaceCoyote

Credit where credit's due, the first chapter of this fic is very much inspired by another fic (linked above). However, I have not read that fic in many, many months, probably years. So, all the similarities are simply because the concept burned itself into my brain. Student/teacher is hot, ok?

Big thanks to Stormysaslytherin and sleepsonfutons for beta reading! I'm not joking when I say this fic would take much, much longer if it wasn't for their help. I didn't want to post it unbetad, but I don't have the brain capacity to do a thorough beta read myself. T.T So, big, big thank you and I love you guys! 🥺💚

Chapter 1

Morpheus knew that something was wrong the moment he woke up that morning. One of his roommates gave him a weird look before leaving for the holiday, which should have been his cue that others would also notice that something was obviously going on.

But this meeting was too important to him. He shoved his papers into a messenger bag, grabbed the keys, and hurried to the campus to catch Professor Gadling one last time before the Easter holiday. In a few hours, Gadling would turn his phone off and stop checking his emails, enjoying some rare time off, and Morpheus would have to return to his parents’ place. He would suffer there, but meeting with his favourite professor before leaving would make it better.

He knew his crush was wrong. He knew that there was not a single thing about the two of them that would be considered normal in today’s society. Gadling was more than fifteen years older, an Alpha, his professor, and many other things. Morpheus was a student, a young Omega, inexperienced. But no voice of reason could stop the yearning. He felt like him and Hob were made for each other.

They were supposed to meet after lunch. Most of the school was already empty save for some construction workers, as the school decided to take advantage of the holiday and take care of some construction and renovations. The emptiness of the hallways brought some peace to his frantic mind, and Morpheus sighed at the chill in the air, cooling his heated skin. He was not yet sure what was wrong, but dark, tight, and cool spaces seemed to make it better.

That changed the instant he ran into another person, the first since he said goodbye to his roommates. It was another student, someone much less excited to be there on a Friday than Morpheus was. They were an Alpha, not using scent suppressants, and when they bumped into each other, they both took a deep breath of each other’s scent and froze.

Danger! Something screamed at Morpheus to move, and he ran past the other student like his life depended on it even as the other stared at him in bewilderment. Morpheus lost his sense of direction, forgetting where he was meant to be going, running blindly until he ran into a group of workers, who only managed to startle him further. On the verge of panic, he dipped into the first bathroom he could find, locking himself in a toilet stall and whimpering.

He was panting from running so fast, and he felt like he was burning up, even though the building was well air-conditioned. He took off his hoodie and let it drop to the floor along with his bag and his shoes as he pulled his knees to his chest, sitting on the closed toilet lid. The feeling of burning up didn’t ease even after several minutes, and he considered that he was running a fever before it all clicked. He was in trouble.

---

Morpheus had never been late before. Hob kept looking at the clock in both annoyance and worry. If anything could hold this particular student up, it was his family. But he would have let Hob know if he was forced to return home early. He was a good kid and wouldn’t just ghost his professor, especially since Hob only came in today because of him.

It wasn’t even favouritism at this point. Hob was in much greater trouble than that. He had a crush on his student, something that he previously considered impossible. But Morpheus – or Dream, as only his family and Hob were allowed to call him – was different from anyone Hob had ever met before. For one, he was magical with words. His essays felt like they were rewriting one’s brain, opening one’s eyes. Reading his fiction, when he had time to write and Hob had time to read, often felt like a spiritual experience. He created whole magical worlds and pulled the reader into them.

The worst thing was that Morpheus was an Omega, and he smelled fantastic to Hob. Even though he used suppressants, it was unbearable, especially the last few days. All Hob could think about was wanting to hold Dream. Yes, just that. He couldn’t even be properly horny about it because the protective side of him that wanted to hold and nurture was stronger than his lust. And, well, yes – he also wanted to own Dream in a primitive way, but that was hardly new. He was an Alpha and Dream was an Omega, after all.

Fifteen minutes past their scheduled time, Hob began to really worry. He decided that calling Dream would be the best course of action, just to make sure that his student simply forgot and hadn’t gotten hurt on the way to school or had something more serious happen. Hob has had his private number for ages, since he often helped Dream with his essays or stories. It was a matter of convenience. Sometimes, they exchanged a few messages, but it was clear to them both where the line that they couldn’t cross lay.

It took Dream a minute to pick up, but he did, at last. His voice was shaky at the other end of the line. “H-Hob?” Not Professor or Doctor Gadling. Just Hob. Not that they didn’t call each other by their nicknames all the time, but usually not at school.

“Dream? Are you alright?”

There was a muffled sob and a few heavy breaths, which were worrying enough. “No,” the student replied after a while, sobbing again. “I need… I need help.”

The blood in Hob’s veins froze at the helplessness in Dream’s usually proud voice. Before he knew it, he had picked up his laptop bag and his jacket and he was storming out of his office, barely remembering to lock the door. “Where are you?” he asked, heading to his car in long strides.

“Toilets,” Morpheus replied with difficulty. “I don’t… There were… people. And I ran. I’m so sorry.”

“Hold on,” Hob interrupted him, trying to make sense of the jarred speech. “Are you on campus? Which building?”

“Yours.”

Hob swallowed a curse at the state that his student was undoubtedly in. He sounded delirious, far from his normal self. But now he had enough to work with, so he forced himself to keep a clear head and move. If Dream was on his way to Hob and then went to a toilet, it should be easy to find him.

“Do you know what floor you’re on?” Hob asked as he checked the nearest bathroom, not finding anything.

“N-no,” Dream replied shakily. “Hob…” he all but moaned, sounding like he was in pain, and Hob walked faster, taking the stairs by two as he moved to another floor, another bathroom.

“Hold on, Dream, I’m coming,” he assured the student, checking bathroom after bathroom until he was at the ground floor. Construction workers were busy in the corridor, and Hob remembered that Morpheus mentioned people.

He knew it as soon as he stepped into the bathroom. Dream was there, his scent strong and filling the space. Well, his scent was there, but Dream was actually missing. Until Hob heard a sound coming from a toilet stall.

With a relieved sigh, Hob ended the call and shoved his phone into his pocket. “Dream?” he called out, coming close to the stall. “Are you in there?”

“Hob!” was the only answer that he got. It was followed by another pained moan and a series of whimpers.

“Are you… sick?” Hob asked uncertainly. It sounded… It sounded like something that he didn’t even want to consider.

Almost as if the universe directly contradicted him, Dream managed to get the door open, and Hob was hit by the full force of the Omega’s scent. His heat. “Fuck!” he cursed as he brought his sleeve to his face, trying to filter out most of it. He could not deny what the scent did to his body, his pants growing tight and uncomfortable with involuntary arousal, but he swore right then and there that he would not lose control and hurt his favourite student. His Dream.

“Dream, what have you done?” he sighed, looking at the Omega. Dream was curled up on the toilet, his clothes sweated through, his feet bare. His usually pale face was flushed and his eyes glassy and unfocused.

“I’m sorry,” Dream whimpered, curling up on himself even tighter as he peered at Hob through his fringe that was sticking to his forehead and eyes with sweat.

“It’s alright,” the Alpha soothed automatically, slowly approaching. “I’ll get you to your room and you’ll, you’ll be fine.” He hoped so. He was not sure whether Dream had gone through a heat before, whether he had someone to take care of him or whether he would suffer through the unpleasant process alone, unsatisfied. But this was the right thing to do.

Dream was compliant while Hob helped him put his shoes back on. He fought his hoodie a little, tugging at the fabric of his clothes and complaining about being too hot, but for now, Hob’s soothing words worked on him. That would probably change as the heat progressed. If Dream was half as stubborn an Omega as he was a student, it would be nearly impossible to wrestle him to his student flat. But first, they needed to get out of the school, and ideally go unobserved.

Hob wrapped his jacket around Dream to hide some of his intense scent underneath his own and, also, to soothe him with its familiarity. He put both of their bags over his own shoulder and then gently guided Dream up to his feet, cursing when the Omega took it as an invitation to lean into him bodily, pressing his nose to Hob’s neck.

“Dream, we need to go,” the professor urged gently, rubbing his student’s back mindlessly and cursing his own life. They would inevitably be seen, and he would get in trouble, but he could explain that he just took Dream to his flat and left him there to his fate. Which was preferable to literally all other options, as society viewed it. He couldn’t leave him here to be discovered by someone else, someone less honourable.

After some struggling, they found a compromise – Dream supported heavily by Hob’s arm around his waist and shuffling along as Hob walked them out of the bathroom and out of the building. Miraculously, the hallway was empty, though some of the workers saw them through open doors. Nobody dared to stare for too long or make a comment.

When they stepped outside, Dream whimpered and almost turned back if not for Hob’s arm holding him firmly. The open space must have looked threatening to an Omega in heat. Hob winced in sympathy. “It’s alright, you’re safe,” he murmured, pulling Dream along. His car was, thankfully, nearby. “I’ve got you, Dream. I’ll get you home, okay?” He doubted that the student understood his words, but they worked well enough to soothe him.

Hob’s poor car would need a deep cleaning by professionals if he wanted it to ever stop smelling like an Omega in heat. He wisely led Dream to the backseat, worried about wandering hands if Dream were to sit in the front, which might cause them both to die in a horrible accident. All he needed to do to get Dream to submit to being buckled in was to let the Omega scent his neck. Then he quickly engaged the child safety lock and closed the door. He dropped both of their bags in the passenger seat and quickly walked around the car to get them out of there. Dream was already whining in the back, tugging at the belt.

“It’s only a couple minutes, hold on for me,” Hob muttered, keeping his tone soothing even as his anxiety grew. Contained with Dream’s heavy scent in such a small space, he felt his sanity slip. As he backed out of his parking space, he thought treacherous thoughts – like what Dream’s skin would taste like and how much simply being scented by a friendly Alpha could help an Omega get through a heat.

But Hob wasn’t just a friendly Alpha. He knew that Dream’s crush on him was as strong as his crush on Dream. The Omega would be pulled towards him and would not be satisfied by familiar gestures.

The drive was short but necessary. If they were to walk the short distance, too many people would see them, so driving was safer. Hob parked the car as close to the door of the building as he could, which was easy since most of the students that lived there had left for the holiday a day ago. Then he grabbed both Dream’s and his bags – he wouldn’t be able to explain why he brought his stuff with, but he couldn’t really think at the moment – and freed the Omega from the backseat.

Dream glared at him when the door finally opened and attempted to lunge himself at the Alpha only to be stopped, to his frustration, by the seatbelt. Hob tutted at him and helped him unbuckle the restraint, pulling Dream to unsteady feet sooner than the Omega could regain his senses and glare at him some more. He realised with worry that he was impatient, as if he was looking forward to what would happen at Dream’s place. But he swore that he would not take advantage.

Finding Dream’s keys in his bag, Hob let them into the building and then into the flat. He had been there before; sometimes it was easier to have their little study group of two at the student’s place. He could then drive home, whereas if they went to his place or somewhere public, he would have to give Dream a ride before going home, as the student didn’t drive. Again, it was just convenience, and nothing happened between them on those nights. He didn’t even know which room was Dream’s.

“Okay, here we are,” Hob sighed heavily, dropping their bags and pushing Dream away from him. “Go to your room; I’ll bring you some water and snacks,” he instructed. Much to his surprise, Dream complied.

Hob grabbed anything that he could find that would be convenient for the Omega to eat in the next few days. He found some reusable water bottles and filled them up with cold water, bringing everything to the room where the Omega had gone. There, he almost dropped everything at the sight of Dream.

Dream had been busy. He was only wearing his boxers now, completely soaked, and was lying belly-down on his bed, rutting against the mattress. Hob told himself that was good, that Dream needed to take care of this himself, and he stifled the wave of possessiveness that swelled within him. It was just hormones, nothing else. He wanted Dream, but not like this, not under these circumstances.

Hob placed the food and water on the student’s nightstand, knocking everything else off. Then he found Dream’s phone in the pocket of his hoodie and put it on the charger, hoping his family would call and find out about the situation he had gotten himself into. And then Hob should have left, but…

“Hob?” Dream whimpered when Hob was at the door, and the Alpha froze. There was hurt and surprise in the Omega’s voice, as if he couldn’t imagine why the Alpha would be leaving now.

Hob should have slammed the door shut and ran, but he just stood there as Dream lifted himself heavily off the bed and padded over to him on unsteady feet. Shaking arms wrapped around his midriff, and cracked, dry lips pressed to the back of his neck. Hob barely swallowed the noise threatening to escape his throat.

“Dream,” he sighed, gathering all his willpower. “No.”

Dream whimpered, holding onto him tighter. “Please…  Please, please, please, Alpha…”

“Fuck, Dream,” Hob shook off the arms holding him and finally turned to look the Omega in the eyes. “I’m not your Alpha. I’m your teacher. This is wrong, and I know you don’t want this. It’s just the heat talking.”

Dream didn’t look like he fully comprehended his words. “Want this,” he said, licking his lips and looking at Hob like he was candy. “I… want you.”

Hob closed his eyes, but that was yet another mistake. Sensing his hesitation, Dream grasped the opportunity and sunk to his knees, tugging the Alpha’s pants down without bothering with the belt, button, or zipper. His stubbornness got them down as far as the middle of Hob’s hips, which was enough for the head of the Alpha’s hard cock to poke out above the waistband.

Having enough wits left in him, Hob was able to grab Dream by his hair and stop him before he could wrap his lips around the hardness. The Omega whined and looked up at him, his confused expression soon morphing into hurt again. His eyes quickly filled with tears that spilled over, rolling down flushed cheeks.

“I’ll be good!” he swore. “Please, Alpha, anything! I’m so sorry! I’ll be good!” He begged mindlessly, not understanding why the Alpha was denying him. Even though it was hurting him almost as much as it was hurting Dream, Hob would be alright with that – alright with rejecting the Omega. But then Dream huffed something that sounded more like frustration than crying and his eyes looked clear for a second as he looked him right in the eyes and said: “Hob, please…”

He felt his resolve crack as he pulled Dream to his feet. He told himself he would just scent him and cuddle him until Dream exhausted himself and fell asleep. As he pulled Dream into his arms and buried his nose in the Omega’s neck, massaging his scent gland lightly, he almost believed he could do it. Dream smelled divine – like youth, biting winters, burning fireplaces, and sin. He melted in Hob’s arms and leaned into him like there was no safer or nicer place in the world.

Hob didn’t notice what Dream was doing until he felt his pants get looser around his waist. He swore, but Dream was already working on the button, having more dexterity than he had any right to possess in this state. Just as the Alpha pulled away to protest, the Omega leaned forward to press his lips to Hob’s throat, sucking lightly and licking his scent off his skin, replacing it with a mark of his own.

Hob groaned when a cold hand wrapped around his prick. He was hard – he had been hard since he found Dream in that stall – and finally being touched almost made him forget himself. Instead, he wrenched away and pushed Dream back so hard that the Omega fell on his ass.

Shocked by his own reaction, Hob felt almost nauseous when he watched Dream curl up on himself and start crying. He knew that rejection sucked when an Omega was in heat, but he was trying to do what was best for them. If they waited a few years, if Dream’s crush persisted, they could be together, but now, it would only threaten their careers. And Dream wouldn’t want him in a few years anyway – he had his whole life ahead of him.

But as he watched the Omega break down, Hob began to doubt himself. He was hurting Dream. The Omega was suffering because of him. How could that be the right thing to do?

“Fuck,” Hob cursed, running both hands through his hair and tugging viciously, trying to bring himself to his senses, but the longer he lingered, the more wrong it felt to leave Dream. “Alright,” he said shakily, slowly approaching the trembling heap on the floor that was actually his best and proudest student. Brought low by his heat.

“I’ve got you, shh,” the Alpha soothed as he picked the Omega up and carried him to his bed. Dream was still sobbing, all given up, and it tore at something in Hob’s chest. He swallowed the lump in his throat and lay down, arranging Dream next to him until they were snuggled up close.

It took several minutes of soothing and gentle scenting for Dream to calm down. He raised his head slowly, looking up as if he hadn’t noticed Hob was there the whole time. The gentle confusion only lasted a few seconds, and then he was scrambling to get on top of the Alpha and pin him to the mattress.

“Slow down, Dream; we don’t have to— Ngh!” Hob tried to cling to the last bits of reason left in him, but Dream rolled his hips hard against Hob’s straining cock, making his brain feel like it was short-circuiting. His hands went automatically to the Omega’s hips, guiding his movements. Maybe they could just do that, he told himself even as he allowed Dream to tug his shirt off and continue working on his pants.

They were both in their underwear now, but Hob stopped Dream before he could toss his pants to the other side of the room, reaching for his wallet in the back pocket. If this was to happen, at least he would wear a condom and not risk ruining Dream’s life.

With the condom within reach, Hob laid back, trying to convince himself that if Dream did all the work, he would not be at fault. Dream was quite successful in depriving them both of their underwear, and Hob quickly put the condom on, worried that they – well, he – might forget about it later, consumed by passion. But then Dream positioned himself above him and bore down, trying to get Hob inside of him just like that, and he panicked.

“Wait!” he said, holding the Omega’s hips in place. Heat or not, this would be too much, and Dream would probably hurt himself. “You can’t just—! Is this your first time or something?!”

Dream blinked up at him, looking almost guilty, as if even in his state he realised that this changed things. Hob froze in disbelief. Dream was the prettiest guy on campus – surely he had enough suitors among his peers…

Slowly, Hob let go of Dream’s hips with one hand, trailing it back, parting his cheeks – which were completely soaked with slick – with his fingers and brushing against his hole. Dream shivered and moaned, arching into the touch. The Omega’s muscles fluttered against the tips of Hob’s fingers, and he daringly pushed a finger inside.

Dream was so tight that just the thought of how he would feel on Hob’s cock made the Alpha dizzy. His muscles relaxed easily with the heat, and yet he was clenching down at the same time, pulling Hob in. The slightest movement of Hob’s finger made him moan loudly, and Hob desperately pushed the thought of being the first Alpha to breach Dream like this out of his mind.

“There you go, just let me open you up for my prick,” he murmured, watching Dream’s face for any sign of pain as he added another finger. Dream took it like he was made for it, made to fit Hob specifically. When he discovered how good it felt, Dream began to rock his hips down on Hob’s hand, taking what he needed until it wasn’t enough anymore and he started whining for more.

Three fingers had Dream gasping, shuddering as he struggled to get used to it for a moment. Then he rocked down on them as if he had been doing that every day of his life, quickly working up a pace. Watching in fascination, Hob curled his fingers slightly, curious whether Dream would get himself off on just his fingers.

He did. It only took a couple frantic movements after Hob found his sweet spot, and then Dream’s cock was spurting clear cum all over his belly. For a short moment, the Omega relaxed, sated. Hob pulled his fingers out and once again wrapped both hands around Dream’s thin hips.

“Hob,” Dream gasped, looking at him with brief, startling clarity. “More…”

If there was a moment to talk, this was it, but instead, Hob reasoned that when he was still relaxed from his orgasm, Dream would have an easier time taking his considerable length. So, he guided his cock to the Omega’s hole with one hand, encouraging him to sink slowly with the other. Dream’s moans were sweet and shy as he was filled, and Hob had to wonder if this was how Dream would sound outside of heat. His pride all but gone, wide eyes looking up to the Alpha for guidance, unsure about the pleasure coursing through his body. But that would be only the first couple of times, and then he would gain confidence and take whatever he wanted. And Hob wanted that as much as he wanted this sweet, pliant Dream, because he loved Dream the most when he was confident and smart and never shied away from a challenge.

Soothing Dream’s impatience with gentle sounds, Hob helped the Omega move slowly, taking more of him each time he sank until Dream’s moans and whimpers turned overwhelmed and tears once more rolled from his eyes. When he finally bottomed out, Dream was shaking, his cock leaking a continuous stream of precum, and Hob was barely holding it together.

If he hoped that he would be able to let Dream do the work to ease his conscience, he soon found out that hope was naive. Dream was already wrung out by the heat, trembling muscles refusing to obey as he tried to lift his hips and ride the Alpha properly. He whined even as he continued to fight stubbornly, but he was getting no relief from his jerky movements.

“Alright, okay, let me help you, sweet thing,” Hob soothed, carefully flipping their positions. Dream was pliant in his hands, nuzzling into the mattress briefly for the familiar scent before he pulled Hob on top of himself to suck at his neck again. Hob allowed it, as long as Dream was satisfied. He would be spending the holiday alone anyway, so he didn’t need to worry about the marks he would have.

Setting a slow rhythm, Hob moved within Dream shallowly, learning his likes and dislikes, his boundaries. Dream was amazingly responsive now that his inhibitions were almost non-existent with the heat, and he rocked back into the motions as much as he could. His moans were barely muffled by the skin between his lips.

Hob focused on finding Dream’s sweet spot again, and when he did, when the Omega arched underneath him and his mouth dropped open, he set a harsher rhythm, driving into that spot over and over with precision earned by experience, trying to bring the Omega over the edge again. It didn’t take long, and when Dream came, he clenched down so hard Hob’s vision whited out. He leaned down and closed his teeth over Dream’s shoulder on instinct, biting until the Omega cried out and came again.

That first mark triggered an avalanche. Hob couldn’t stop, sucking bruises into Dream’s pale, soft skin, all over his chest, everywhere where it would be easy to cover it up, and sometimes, daringly, he sucked just at the line of a shirt collar, though not on the side where the bonding gland was. He would never cross that line, no matter how out of their minds they both were.

Dream’s eyes were half-lidded and his gaze distant, his mouth letting out a continuous string of needy sounds. He was beyond begging, but Hob knew what he would be asking for if he could, what would finally help with the heat. His knot was already swelling at the base of his cock, and he adjusted his rhythm, driving all the way in on each thrust, slowly stretching the Omega’s hole more than it had probably ever been.

“Dream,” he moaned, hiding his face in the Omega’s neck. For a moment, he was reminded of the sacrilege that he was committing, but then Dream whimpered into his ear, begging for him wordlessly, and all he could focus on was finding his own pleasure so he could fill the Omega up and satisfy him.

Hob’s arms shook with exertion, and he was covered in sweat, his hips stuttering and losing rhythm as his knot caught. He thrust as deep as he could and finally let the pleasure overtake him, only distantly aware of Dream’s sharp cry as he came again, his cock creating even more mess between their bodies.

Panting and shaking, connected to his student for the foreseeable future, Hob allowed himself to sink down on his forearms, pressing Dream into the mattress. The Omega purred under the weight of his body, nuzzling his neck for a moment before he fell asleep.

It quickly began to eat at him again as he watched Dream’s relaxed face. The Omega looked so vulnerable, and even younger than he truly was. Hob had never felt so old and inadequate and filthy. What had he done?!

The emotional turmoil helped, ironically. His knot softened and he was able to pull out, tying the condom off before flinging it to the trash bin next to Dream’s desk. The Omega didn’t even stir, deep asleep, so Hob carefully covered him with a blanket and started picking up his clothes. He only found one sock, but that was the least of his problems as he snuck out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him with finality.

He had helped Dream, however morally wrong it was. But now it was time to leave before they would do something that they would truly regret.

So why did he not leave? Why did he sit on the ancient, uncomfortable sofa in the shared living room of the student flat and just stare at the wall? Why did he watch the sun go down behind the windows many hours later, still sitting there until he was roused from his stupor by the sound of the bedroom door opening?

The scent of a heat poured into the room, making the hair on the back of Hob’s neck stand up. He shivered and turned on instinct, looking at Dream, who appeared to be barely able to hold himself up, leaning against the doorframe and studying him.

“Come back,” Dream whispered, his blue eyes piercing the professor with accusation. “Please, Hob.”

He had no more condoms to use. He had no excuse. What he was about to do, he would never be able to take back. But those thoughts slowly dissipated as Hob stood up and walked to the bedroom, losing his shirt along the way.

Chapter 2

Two months after Dream’s sudden first heat, late into the day, when evening was slowly turning into night and his office was bathed in orange light, Hob was pressed up against his own desk, a needy Omega trying to rid him of his clothes as quickly as possible. It was not nearly their first time messing about after their one-on-one study sessions and Hob no longer felt bad about doing it in his office. He didn’t feel like they were in danger.

“Impatient,” the professor murmured, stilling Dream’s hips with a hand long enough to be able to work his belt open. Dream’s slacks slid to the middle of his thighs without further resistance, and Hob was able to push his hand into the Omega’s underwear.

“For you,” Dream murmured against his lips, rolling his hips in jerky movements as Hob took him in hand.

It was ironic that just when they felt safe, they were finally caught. Just as Hob was about to bring Dream over the edge, having not a single care for his underwear about to be soiled, somebody knocked on the door.

Frantic scuttle to right their clothes and one awkward conversation full of distrustful, calculating glances later, and Hob was slamming his head on the door after he closed it behind one of his colleagues and friends. He knew the colleague wouldn’t say anything, but now somebody knew. And next time, it could be someone who wouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do it here,” Dream said unhelpfully, clearing his throat.

“No, we shouldn’t,” Hob agreed, pushing away from the door and collecting his stuff quickly.

“Your place?”

Hob sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing deeply in an attempt to chase away a migraine. It was futile. “Not in the mood,” he said, continuing to pack his stuff.

Dream huffed, crossing his arms, not doing anything to grab his own things. “Why – because of an almost?” he scoffed.

“Yes!” Hob snapped, turning to him with anger for the first time in their secret relationship. “Because I almost ruined your entire career and—!”

“Oh, so it is my career you are worried about?” Dream asked sarcastically, lips curled in distaste.

“Fuck, do you think I care about myself?!” Hob fired back, gesticulating wildly. “I don’t give a shit about myself, Dream,” he said as he punched his own chest. “I’ve been at the bottom before, and if this blew up in my face, I would be able to pull myself up again. But you—”

“But I’m useless and incapable of taking care of myself because my parents are rich and I’m young,” Dream finished, rage boiling in his voice.

“Don’t be stupid,” Hob growled. “I’m just saying that you are risking much more here than I am, and that I fucking care about your future!”

“How about me?! How about what I want?!” Dream spat. “You’re no better than my family, always talking about what I will be without ever caring for who I am! If my future is so important to you, maybe we should meet then. Maybe then you’ll see me.”

The anger in Hob’s veins cooled down. He stared at Dream, a million things on his mind – a million ways to explain himself and show him that he knew Dream, cared about Dream, but he also cared about his safety and his reputation. And he had known that he would not be able to keep Dream forever from the start, but it still hurt to feel him slipping through Hob’s fingers now. Not because Dream grew tired of him, as he had expected, but because Hob screwed it up.

“Dream…” he said, his voice trembling. “It’s not like that. I—”

“I don’t care!” Dream snapped, silencing him. “You think you know me, so you should have expected this. I’m done. Done being made ashamed for what I feel, done being patronised! Screw you, Hob!”

Those were the last words Dream spoke to him as he stormed out of his office into the darkened building of the empty school, stomping away without ever looking back. His messenger bag and hoodie stayed behind, and Hob resisted the urge to take them with him. He knew he would not catch up with Dream or be able to deliver those things to him tonight. So, he just left them there in his office, so they could remind him of tonight when he returned tomorrow.

They didn’t really speak for the rest of Dream’s studies. He completed all of Hob’s classes with whatever dignity was left between them, never talking directly but writing emails, always looking just to the side of each other’s eyes. The following year, Dream didn’t sign up for any of Hob’s classes, and the next, he left the school for a better opportunity.

Life moved on, and for several years, Hob didn’t hear from Morpheus. He avoided looking up his name and focused on his own life, his own theses, and his students. And it worked, it made the pain easier, but once in a while, even as he dated other people, he remembered his favourite student and the Omega who fit into his arms perfectly. Who gave him his first heat and then returned to him over and over, if only for a short while.

The next time Hob heard Morpheus’ name, he didn’t even recognise it. To him, he was still Dream, past lover and student. Adorned with a title, his birth name and his family name looked unfamiliar. But Hob’s morning brain caught up eventually, and his heart skipped a beat.

His Dream, his former student, would be having a guest lecture at his alma mater.

There were two terms for the lecture because of too many people signing up. It was something about a book that he published and about his research. Morpheus had, apparently, added Psychology to his studies and shifted his focus from Literature and Creative Writing to the not yet well-explored space between those and the human mind.

The first term of the lecture was during Hob’s class, so he was spared the dilemma. For the second one, he had to cancel his office hours, because he couldn’t miss it. What he had said years ago was still true – he cared about Morpheus, and seeing that Morpheus followed his dreams and succeeded made him happy. He would go there and let pride fill him up to bursting. And maybe then he would finally get a closure after he saw with his own eyes that the breakup was for the best.

Even though it was a repeat, the lecture hall was absolutely full. All the chairs were taken up, and the professors and staff who also came to watch – Hob wasn’t the only one who remembered this student – either sat on the stairs or leaned against the walls. Hob picked a space in the corner, hoping not to attract too much attention. If Morpheus even recognised him after all this time.

Morpheus scanned the room as soon as he walked in, as if looking for something. Hob felt his heart skip another beat as a little thing in his chest wondered if it was him. But Morpheus didn’t look like he found what he was looking for as he organised his notes on the desk provided to him and started the lecture.

Morpheus was brilliant. He knew a lot about the topic, focusing on the study he would be conducting more than on his book, and he spoke with such confidence that Hob’s chest, just as he had expected, swelled with pride. Morpheus had always been prideful, just a little arrogant, and confident, but here, speaking to an overfilled lecture hall, he was shining. As if he knew, with utmost confidence, that he had a lot to teach them, students and professors alike.

Hob did his best to pay attention to the lecture. Some parts were lost in a haze as his mind wandered, but he caught most of it, and it definitely taught him a lot, and not only because he didn’t know much about Psychology. Morpheus asked questions that Hob would never be able to even think of, and perhaps even more importantly, he hoped that his study and his work would help people, especially young people, who struggled with mental health, trauma, and difficult life situations.

At the end of the lecture, there were many smart, thoughtful questions from students who were genuinely interested. And when the time ran out, a crowd gathered around Morpheus’s desk. Hob considered it, but quickly decided against it. What would he even say? There were so many things and yet nothing that could do good for either of them. Taking a deep breath, he turned away and headed for the door through the lingering crowd. But he paused when Morpheus spoke up again.

It was only to tell everyone to go home, that he will not be signing his book or answering any more questions as he has important business. Hob turned around to look, but all he saw was Morpheus’s back as he disappeared through the other door at the bottom of the lecture hall. He cursed as the sight reminded him of an evening many years ago, watching the same back turned to him and storming out of his office. Now, until the next time their paths crossed, he would once again be burdened by the image of Dream leaving him. He should have left right away and spared himself this sight, but he was a sentimental idiot.

Hob considered going straight home, feeling too weary to climb the stairs and go to his office to gather his stuff. But he kind of needed his jacket and he really shouldn’t leave the remaining unmarked essays here, so he forced himself to walk to the building where his office was. As he crossed the outdoor section of the campus, he felt like he caught glances of a fey shadow creature entering the building where he was headed, but that was probably just his mind playing tricks on him. Just as expected, Dream wasn’t there when he stepped through the door.

Each step felt like a mile-long run, but eventually, Hob made it to his floor. He lamented his stupid heart, still pining, after all these years. He would have to drink a couple of glasses of wine and have a sad wank tonight, otherwise his dreams would be plagued by pale skin and a scent that lured him in as if it was made for him.

With that plan in mind, Hob lifted his gaze to locate the door to his office and froze. He wasn’t alone in the hallway. Morpheus was standing in front of his door, waiting for him with an impassive face.

Stupidly, the first thing that came out of Hob’s mouth was an automatic: “Office hours are cancelled.”

Morpheus’s lips quirked before returning to a strict straight line. He lifted one perfect eyebrow.

“Sorry, that was… Force of habit.” Hob shook his head. “Come in.”

Hob opened the door for them and let Morpheus step through first before following him. He closed the door after himself but then wondered if he shouldn’t have. What did Morpheus want? What brought him here? What did he expect from Hob?

Standing in the middle of his own office like a lost puppy, Hob watched Morpheus examine the room, perusing the titles on his small shelf of books that hadn’t changed since the last time Morpheus stepped into this office, then noting the old sofa in the corner, and a new desk, chair, and laptop. Even though it made him feel like a bug under a microscope, Hob let Morpheus examine the place where he spent most of his time outside of sleeping, his second home.

Finally, Morpheus’s eyes landed on Hob again, and for a precious second, he was Dream again, face full of determination and awe as he approached his professor. Then it quickly slipped back into neutrality, leaving Hob wondering if he imagined seeing it in the first place.

“It is good to see you again,” Morpheus said eventually, and it sounded honest even though his face still didn’t show anything.

“Likewise,” Hob said, even though a small, bitter part of him wanted to snap, ‘Is it?!’ “Your lecture was amazing,” he added. “Your work… is amazing. I’m… I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Millimetre by millimetre, the mask on Morpheus’s face cracked and shattered. The endless wonder and awe returned, then got replaced by surprise, then pride. He preened under the praise and Hob wondered how his word could still mean so much for his former student when the reason why they parted was that Dream thought that Hob didn’t see him as an equal.

“I have discovered a new purpose,” Morpheus said after a while. “I no longer only wish to influence and inspire the minds and dreams of others, but also to help and, if possible, protect their minds from the nightmares in this world. And I think… I think I am on the right track.”

Years of getting over this man flew out the window, and Hob felt his heart swell with love anew. If he was in love with Dream, the ambitious and confident student, then he fucking loved this man, this wonder. He wished again that he didn’t screw it up so soon and so badly back then. He had never fooled himself with thinking that Dream could be his, but an occasional daydream betrayed him. He longed to hold him just a little while longer.

But that was all in the past.

“Can I do something for you?” Hob asked.

Morpheus blinked at him owlishly before seeming to remember where and with whom he was. “Yes, actually,” he said hesitantly. “I wish to talk.”

Hob studied him – his newfound hesitance and the way he averted his eyes. “Then let’s talk.” He tried to sound more confident and relaxed than he really was, but he probably failed. Between each line of dialogue there was a pause, longer each time, silence filling the room and weighing on their shoulders.

Finally, Morpheus spoke up again. “The reason I have come here is that I owe you an apology.”

Immediately, Hob shook his head. “I don’t need one.” He didn’t need this. He had been trying, so hard, to get over Dream for years, and he didn’t need to bring any of the old aches up any more than this day already had.

But Morpheus did not falter. “You deserve it, though.”

Damn right I do, Hob thought. He wasn’t stupid; he knew that they had both made mistakes in that relationship. But all that he said was a whispered: “I don’t want one.”

Morpheus went on anyway, stubborn as ever. “I have treated you unfairly. I have overreacted. After we— After I broke up with you, I quickly realised that I had made a mistake. But back then, my pride wouldn’t allow me to come back to you. It took me losing you to realise that you always wanted what was best for me. And you were right. About everything. I would not be able to do what I do now if my reputation was compromised.”

“Morpheus,” sighed Hob. And this truly felt like the closure that he needed. He didn’t want it, but Morpheus gave it to him. Because in Hob’s absence, he grew. Because even in Hob’s absence, he remembered. He thought about Hob.

Morpheus didn’t look like he was done talking yet, but before he could continue, Hob stepped up to him, closing the polite distance that they kept. “Can I…?” he asked hesitantly, because if he could ask for one thing, it would always be this. “Can I hug you?”

Morpheus smiled somewhat sadly. “Yes, that would be nice,” he agreed. As he was wrapped in the professor’s arms, he hummed. “You have always cared about holding me close more than you cared about anything else. You have always made me feel safe.”

“Holding you feels right,” Hob whispered into the familiar mess of black hair. Morpheus used a different shampoo nowadays, judging by the scent, but his hairstyle was still the same. A bird’s nest.

“As does being held by you.”

Oh, this was bad. This time, Hob would need at least a couple decades to get over Dream. And he didn’t even have him this time. They were just hugging, like old friends reunited and nothing more.

“You can’t say things like this,” he complained with a mirthless laugh. “You can’t say that, Dre— Morph—” To hell with it, he had already started calling him Dream again. “Dream… And not expect me to want to keep you.”

Maybe he was throwing himself under the bus. Maybe Morpheus wanted to be friends, and here Hob was basically admitting that he still had feelings for him. A friendship wouldn’t be possible between them, anyway. Hob would not be able to break his own heart each time he saw Dream and then walk away still alone. So, there was really no harm in admitting that, because the worst that could happen would be getting rejected, maybe laughed at.

Morpheus pulled away and Hob didn’t hold him. He let his arms fall to his sides and tried to step away, but the Omega’s arms were still wrapped around his midsection.

“I would like that,” Morpheus said so quietly that Hob thought that he was imagining it. “I know I do not deserve a second chance after how I treated you. But I am asking for it anyway.”

Breath stuttering, Hob looked into his former student’s eyes. He saw something that he barely remembered now but that had been there all those years ago. Longing. Loneliness. Love. Dream’s heart seemed to hold so much love, and he wanted to give it to someone, to Hob, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t know if he was welcome.

“Dream…” Hob breathed out, bringing one hand up to cup a sharp jaw, run his thumb over a pale cheek. “Do you mean it? Because… because I want you. I still want you.”

“Then… Allow me to take you on a date? Dinner tonight, or lunch tomorrow, or… Anything you wish.

“And then,” Dream continued. “Perhaps you could hold me again.”

“I would love that,” Hob nodded. “Dinner and… all of it, really.”

“Good.” Dream smiled. And their lips connected in a kiss that made them feel like they had never even parted.

Notes:

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