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He had a craving. It burned every time he saw the band... or specifically, one dark member of it. When he saw Aoi, he couldn't help but let his eyes trace the lean, toned frame, his full lips and long fingers, his slim hips and thighs. Ruki subconsciously licked his lips as he admired Aoi, wanting it all to himself. His body ached for it.
Not that he didn't have it, in a way. Since he'd cornered Aoi and forced him to admit his feelings, he'd had Aoi to himself. Late nights at his guitarist's apartment, wrapped in his arms, kissing him deeply, either softly or hard, were one of the things that soothed him. When they went further, it quelled his appetite more. Aoi was in reality quite the pervert, and Ruki couldn't deny that he was too (in fact, he often openly admitted it). They had done just about everything with each other's bodies that it was possible to do.
That was, everything except for true sex.
Ruki hungered for it, for Aoi inside him, actually fucking him. No tongue, no fingers or hands or toys or anything else. Aoi himself. It was what he had wanted for such a long time, and when he'd finally gotten Aoi to admit that it was what he longed for too, he'd hoped it would be fast in coming. He knew it probably wouldn't be right away, but he had thought, surely, within a few weeks, they’d be consummating the relationship.
No lies, Aoi eating him out was hot. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed giving Aoi a blow, watching Aoi's face and body as he drooled over the guitarist and swallowed as much of him as he could. But he wanted to be held as Aoi thrust into him, his hair pulled, he wanted to cry out and feel Aoi deep inside. If he didn't get it soon, Ruki thought he would explode.
One night Aoi came over, and they sat on the couch to watch a movie. Koron sat in his lap for awhile, but then jumped down to claim his own chair, and soon after, Ruki lay down and stretched out across Aoi's lap. The darker one's full lips stretched into a smile.
"Spreading for me?"
"If I could get any from you, that's what I would be doing."
Aoi laughed and leaned down, kissing him deeply. Despite his bit of bitterness, Ruki raised a hand, stroking Aoi's face a few times before winding his fingers into the thick, glossy black hair and pulling him closer. It quickly went from soft and loving to Aoi being dominant, thrusting his tongue deep into Ruki's mouth. The younger one moaned, sucking and licking at Aoi, clutching at the raven strands of hair.
"Fuck, Aoi..."
A low laugh, and Aoi straightened up, pulling Ruki with him. The vocalist settled in Aoi's lap, legs spread out to steady himself. One of Aoi's hands grabbed his ass, the other running along one of his thighs. Ruki sighed, voice getting a bit husky at the touch. He pressed up against Aoi, trying to fight back at the deep, harsh kiss.
"I want you," he growled, staring into Aoi's black eyes.
"Do you?" Aoi asked, voice amused, and bit down on his tongue. Ruki pulled back slightly, hissing a bit at the sting of pleasure.
"I want you so bad."
"Do you want me to eat or blow?"
"Neither." Ruki impatiently pulled on Aoi's hair again, grinding against his hips.
"Do you want to, then?"
"Maybe." Ruki let Aoi pull his shirt off, head tilting back as Aoi heavily licked at his collar. "Shit..."
"Still as sweet as ever."
"Aoi, I want you to fuck me."
"I will."
"I want your thick cock inside me."
Aoi's teeth grazed his nipple in response to his attempt to bait Aoi. Ruki's hands spasmed a bit on Aoi's neck at the sensation. He wanted more, but this was so good too.
"Fuck..."
"Such a cute little devil," Aoi purred, licking the sensitive peak heavily, which forced moaning sighs from Ruki's throat. "So easily aroused at my touch."
"Speak for yourself." Despite himself, Ruki closed his eyes, clutching Aoi's head to his chest. "You came without me even touching your dick, the first few times..."
"True. You're just so adorable. I want to eat you all up. I want to fuck you so no one else can ever have you."
"Then do it." Ruki shuddered as Aoi started on the other side. "Shit... do it. Put it in me."
"You want to give me a tittyfuck, babe?"
"Will you screw me after?"
"Maybe."
Ruki huffed, hips bucking lightly as Aoi bit him. "I want it."
Another hard bite, and then his lover licked at it gently, as if nursing it. "Not tonight."
He bit back a scream of frustration. "Are you just stopping here?"
"I think you're too eager."
"You can't do all that to me and then just leave me like this."
"I can. But I won't."
He pushed Aoi's head back now, looking at him seriously. Aoi returned his gaze, black eyes quiet, not giving anything away.
"Why?" Ruki asked, aware his body was still eager and flushed from the teasing. "Why won't you have sex with me?"
"I do."
"You know what I mean. Why?"
Aoi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ru..."
"Just give it to me straight. Please."
The guitarist looked at him for a few minutes. Then he tilted Ruki's head back and kissed him softly. Ruki was impatient, but he returned the kiss.
"Because I'm afraid," was Aoi’s murmur.
"Afraid?" Ruki asked, feeling irritation rise. "Of what?"
"A lot of things."
"Of what, Aoi?"
Aoi sighed, turning his head. "Ru, please don't."
"No, I want to understand. We've done almost anything but actual fucking, why would you be afraid of it?"
"Ruki, please."
"I want it and it's clear you want it too. Why should you be afraid?"
A pause, and Ruki could see him chewing his lip. He waited, trying to not be too impatient, but he was incredibly upset. After a bit, Aoi said, "Because at that point I feel like there's no going back, and that scares me."
"No going back? We can go back after everything else we've done?"
"It's different than sex."
"You're so old-fashioned."
"It's different, Ruki."
"There's already no going back, Aoi. It can't go back to just friends after all this. There will always be memories, no matter how hard you try to pretend there's not. So why hold back when you want it, and I want it?"
Aoi just shook his head.
"What, you think you're so bad at it that I'd dump you or change my mind after?"
"No."
"I don't understand what you're telling me, Aoi. I honestly can't, because it's nonsense. What I do understand is that you're telling me you love me, but you're holding back on me."
"And you're trying to coerce me into sex that I'm not ready for."
"Honestly!" Ruki ground his teeth, growling a bit. "You whine about not having sex, and then when I'm spreading my legs for you, you won't take it. Even though you treat my photoshoots like porn, you won't take the real thing. You'd rather do it with someone you don't know?"
"Yes!" Aoi half-shouted now, sounding exasperated. "Yes, because it doesn't threaten to ruin a relationship that's already in place!"
"How the fuck will putting your dick in my ass ruin the fact that you've already put basically everything else in it? What's the real reason, Aoi? This can't be your reason!"
Aoi shoved him off and stood, crossing the living room. Ruki scrambled after him, fuming, catching up to him in the genkan.
"And where are you going?"
"Home," he replied, not looking back as he slipped his shoes on. "You're not listening to me, so I'm not going to listen to you."
"I'm trying to listen, but you're talking bullshit!"
"Bye."
Aoi left, slamming the door behind himself. Ruki stood, half-shocked, half-incensed, staring at the door until he heard Koron whining down at his feet. Slowly, he bent over and picked his dog up, holding him close.
"I just ruined it, didn't I, Koron...?"
The Chihuahua licked at his chin as if to comfort him. With a sigh, Ruki retreated back into the living room. Setting his pet down and retrieving his shirt, he mulled over what had been said, trying his hardest to figure out what was making Aoi so reluctant. He couldn't see at all how having intercourse would change anything. It seemed more like a mental thing, than an actual thing. Ruki didn't feel it would be any different at all.
But then he felt guilty. If Aoi wasn't ready for that, he didn't have the right to try to push it, no matter how much he wanted it. It was just that he wanted it so bad... Aoi wasn't the only one that had spent so long wishing. Letting out a frustrated noise, Ruki shut the television off and went to get ready to go to sleep, trying to put it from his mind. Maybe if he slept well and woke in the morning, without his thoughts stuck on sex, he'd understand better.
He spent the weekend feeling a bit disgruntled and confused. Aoi didn't call or message him, and Ruki chose to not do the same. He wanted to give it some time, and that the time to understand, so he could ease Aoi out of it. But he couldn't figure out what Aoi could be thinking of.
When he went in to practise on Monday, Aoi was already there. The guitarist looked over his shoulder when the door opened, but when he saw it was Ruki, he turned back to his guitar. Ruki felt simultaneously outraged and depressed, so he chose to not say anything. He just went to his chair and sat, fidgeting with his phone and praying for someone else to come in soon. The minutes until the door opened again were torture, but then Reita entered, wearing a bright smile and calling a cheerful "Good morning!" that helped Ruki feel a bit perked up. He managed to smile at the bassist and have a short exchange with him before he moved to where his instruments were. Ruki watched as Aoi strolled to Reita, being his normal loud and annoying self with the blonde. The vocalist felt his heart sink seeing it. He wanted to go over and grab Aoi and tell him to knock it off. But it was his fault, so he kept silent.
He felt the silent strain between them all through practise, and he saw the other three pick up on it. None of them lingered very long after, instead leaving quickly and making Aoi and Ruki the only two left in the practise room. Ruki waited a bit longer for Aoi, spinning his phone nervously in his hand. When the silence became too much to take, he spoke.
"What's wrong with you?"
No response. Aoi kept working on his instruments.
"You could at least say hi, or look at me."
Not even a movement that showed he was listening.
"You really piss me off."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Aoi replied, still not even turning his head. "I didn't realise the relationship was all about you."
"I'm trying, Aoi! I spent all weekend trying to figure out what you were talking about so I could understand. But I can't do it, because I don't know what you're thinking, so you need to talk to me and help me!"
"You don't want to understand."
"I just told you I spent all weekend trying to!"
"Are you trying to understand so you can sit on me, or are you trying to understand because you actually care?"
"Both."
Quiet for a little while, Aoi still wiping his guitar down. Then he sighed, put it away, and picked up his bag. Saying, "I'll talk to you later, Ru", he passed and went out the door. Ruki stared after him for a bit, then angrily shoved his phone into his bag and followed the same path out, half-blind with anger. Reaching home, he flung his bag aside and went to his room, throwing himself onto the bed and burying his face in the pillows.
"Why won't you talk to me, Aoi!?"
He tried again the next day, but got the same results. The same with the next. Come the end of the week, he was exhausted, angry, and ready to just tell Aoi to forget everything and fuck off. He went through practise without even trying to talk to Aoi because he was worried if he tried, he would end up screaming. He went home and made himself a bath, easing himself into the hot water with a small hiss. The heat relaxed him though, and soon he just lay back, staring up at the ceiling.
He didn't like this at all. He had waited so long for Aoi to be honest, and he'd thought he'd finally achieved it. But now this was happening, and he didn't understand why. Every reason he could think of ran through his mind again. He mulled over it until the water was lukewarm before he climbed out, ate, and then slumped onto the sofa. Koron jumped up beside him and cuddled up to him, and he slowly stroked the soft fur for a little bit. Then, sighing, he sat up, got his bag, fished his phone out, and called Aoi's number.
Voice mail. He sighed again, and when the line beeped, he spoke. "Aoi, I'm trying. This is what I understand you’re saying. Let me know if I'm wrong. You're afraid to go further because up until now it hasn't been actual sex per say. We could blame it on any number of things if something went wrong. You're afraid that if we finish things, we won't be able to stay the way we were before, both the band and in personal lives. We don't have anything before the band to fall back on that would support us. The stress would crack our professional relationship. You're afraid that if I turn on you, you won't have anything left to go to. You're afraid that if we actually have sex, you'll hurt me, and you'll hurt yourself, because you don't know if we're strong enough to deal with any falling out that might come yet. You feel like we're still on sand instead of solid ground, so you don't want to make things heavier than they need to be. You don't want to ruin the way I feel about you, all this aside. It's all a lot of repeating the same thing over, but... you're scared because if things don't work out, one of us will have to leave. I don't feel that way. I feel like you care enough about me that we could work it out. I know I care enough about you that I'd fight to keep you in the band, even if we ended up splitting. I don't want the sex for the sex, Aoi. I want it because it connects me deeper to you. I trust you and love you enough to give it to you, to make things stronger. If you don't feel the same way yet... that's okay, I guess. But please just tell me. Please be honest with me. I worked so hard to get you to be honest in the first place, and I'm trying to be honest with you. I need you to reciprocate. That's the only way we can work things out." He paused, not knowing if all of this had recorded. "If you get all of this... I'll just hang up now."
He did so and then set the phone aside, feeling a gnawing nausea in his stomach from anxiety. To try to settle his stomach, he got something to drink and sank onto the couch with Koron to watch a movie to distract himself. Eventually, he drifted off for a bit, hand still moving on its own to pet his dog.
The doorbell startled him out of half-sleep and sent Koron to the door, yipping excitedly. Ruki blinked hard, trying to clear his head, before he stood and went to the front. He scooped his dog up and stood on tiptoe to peer through the peephole. The sight of the dark man outside made his heart stop. Slowly, he unlocked the door and opened it to Aoi. They looked at each other for a few seconds of an uneasy silence before Aoi spoke.
"I got your message."
"Oh," Ruki said. It was all he could manage.
"Can I come in?"
Ruki stood back, and Aoi slipped in, murmuring his thanks. Ruki closed the door, still holding Koron in one arm, and followed the guitarist into the living room, where they both sat on the sofa. Koron wiggled free of his arms and pattered over to Aoi, sniffing him and wagging his tail happily. Aoi scratched behind the Chihuahua's ears, but his black eyes stayed on Ruki. The vocalist looked down, feeling awkward.
"Ruki," Aoi said after a moment, his voice hesitating.
"I'm sorry, Aoi," Ruki interrupted, feeling like he needed to say it first. He was only half-sorry, because his sexual frustration was too much to bear. But he was sorry for pushing Aoi to the point of discomfort. "I want to understand. I want this to work. I'm really fond of you, and I..."
"It's okay, Ru. I haven't been very honest with you, you're right. I'm not as good with my feelings as you are."
Ruki raised his eyes now to find Aoi looking away, biting his lip.
"Talk to me. I can't understand if you don't," he said quietly, tentatively reaching out and putting a hand on Aoi's knee. Aoi moved his over it, squeezing softly.
"Yes, I've wanted you, Ruki. Yes, I've fantasized and used you as pornography. But I never thought I'd have the real thing. Having you is... I still don't have my mind entirely around it. And I adore you, you know that. You're so important to me. You're like God, to me."
"Do you think you'll soil me, then?"
"You'll be God no matter what happens to you or what you do. But... I'm scared to lose you. For you to look at me with anger, and disgust, and hate. I'm afraid that if this doesn't work out, I'll lose you forever. And I guess I'm thinking that if we don't have sex, maybe that wouldn't hurt me so much."
Ruki didn't say anything. He ran it slowly through his mind.
"I know it doesn't make a whole lot of sense,” Aoi continued. “It doesn't to me, either. But that's what I'm feeling."
It made sense, a bit. Like Aoi said, not a lot of sense, but Ruki could grasp the feeling.
"I love you, Ruki.” The guitarist squeezed Ruki’s hand as he said it, as if to reassure him. “It's still hard for me to say it, but it's the truth. And I want to go further. I guess I'm just too much of a coward to do so."
"I'm scared too."
Aoi turned back and looked at him now. Ruki tried to read his gaze as he continued speaking.
"For similar reasons, I'm scared. But holding back won't make it better. It will just prolong the doubt and make it worse. Sometimes it's better to just take the plunge. And Aoi, I don't think I could ever hate you. I might get angry with you sometime, but I would never hate you or want to leave you behind. I'll promise that."
A small smile twitched at the corners of Aoi's lips. "Don't promise something like that."
"I will, because I know it's the truth."
Another bit of quiet, when Ruki stared earnestly at Aoi, hoping that the darker one could feel his emotions. Then Aoi raised one hand and cupped Ruki's cheek in it.
"You're such a pushy little thing," he said, a hint of amusement tingeing the hesitation.
"I fight for what I want."
"You do. It's very attractive."
Ruki's eyelashes fluttered a bit when Aoi leaned in, but he kept his eyes open as they kissed, still watching Aoi's gaze. It had softened a bit, and he could only hope that was a good thing.
"Being chased down by you," Aoi murmured when he pulled back, "seems a bit strange. I always thought, if we were like this, I'd be the one chasing you."
"If you were a little more firm, you would be."
Aoi kissed him again, holding it a bit longer. Ruki sucked Aoi's lower lip into his mouth and bit on it softly. Aoi pulled away and smiled, his eyes lighting a bit.
"I guess so. I forget sometimes what a force you can be."
"It's part of what you love about me though."
"That's true."
Another kiss, deeper this time. Ruki wrapped a hand around the back of Aoi's neck, holding him in place as they moved deeper and deeper still. Before long, their breaths were sighs, hot and moist, when they parted. Ruki bit softly on Aoi's tongue when it pressed to his mouth, mirroring what Aoi had done to him the last time they were like this.
"You little tease," he laughed softly when Ruki let him go.
"You won't escape from me. I won't let you."
"I guess not." Aoi's hand smoothed down Ruki's neck to his shoulder, rubbing it carefully. "I should have known."
Ruki pushed himself up and moved into Aoi's lap, leaning up against him. Aoi pulled him close as their lips met again, groaning a bit when Ruki slipped a hand under his shirt and ran his fingertips across his chest.
"Ruki..."
"Enjoy it."
"Shit..."
Ruki sucked on Aoi's lip, circling one of his long-nailed fingers around Aoi's nipple. It hardened under his touch, and he lightly scratched over it with his nails.
"Shit," Aoi repeated, his exhalation heavier.
"My tongue is better," Ruki purred, pinching the peaked flesh.
"Fuck!" Aoi's chest arched into his touch, head tilting slightly back. "You're too damn good at this."
"I try." Ruki unbuttoned Aoi's shirt a bit and pulled the fabric aside, revealing the dusky flesh. He leaned over and, gazing up at Aoi, pressed his lips to it. When Aoi hissed, Ruki let his tongue out and teased the tip against the peak.
"Ruki, God...!"
"You taste good, Aoi." If they didn't have intercourse, fine. But Ruki needed Aoi, in one way or another. "I want to lick all over your body."
"Do you?" Aoi huffed when Ruki's hand went to tease the other side. His strong fingers stroked through Ruki's thick hair, pulling on it softly. Ruki sighed at the feel and fastened onto Aoi, sucking. "God!"
"Would you let me taste all of it?"
"Mm, I don't know..."
Multitasking, Ruki let his free hand unbutton the rest of Aoi's shirt and trace over his bared stomach, along the waistband of his pants. Hearing the noise Aoi made confirmed it - his lover wanted it too. He dipped his head and licked one long broad line up the centre of Aoi's chest to his collarbone.
"Oh, no," Aoi groaned, pushing him back. His eyes were on fire now, and Ruki internally smirked. The guitarist pulled Ruki's shirt off and leaned down, kissing his collar. "You don't get to have all the fun."
"Please," Ruki moaned, grabbing handfuls of black hair and pulling Aoi into his chest. "Give it to me."
Aoi's lips travelled his skin, making him shiver with desire. He wanted those lips on him all night. Then Aoi teased his tongue out, and Ruki leaned back, gripping tightly to Aoi's hair and using it to stay aloft. One of Aoi's hands under his back held him steady as Aoi licked him hard and deep.
"Look at these cute nipples." Aoi licked one, and Ruki slumped back, whimpering. "You're so weak to it."
"It feels good, Aoi."
"Does it?" A long, very wet lick, and Ruki whined again, nails digging into Aoi's scalp. "Apparently so. Did they miss me?"
"So much." Ruki tried to move his legs, opening them a bit, and that gave the space for them to press right against each other. "Aoi... don't stop."
There was a pause, and he was afraid that he had ruined it, but then Aoi scooped him up and stood. Ruki moved one arm to wrap it around Aoi's neck, and he clamped his legs tightly to the guitarist's sides. Their mouths met, and their tongues caressed softly as Aoi walked from the living room into the bedroom, where he laid Ruki down. Ruki crooned happily as Aoi shrugged his shirt off before leaning back, joining Ruki’s mouth harshly. The vocalist ran his hands along Aoi's shoulders, down his arms and back up to slip along his bared shoulder blades.
"Give it to me, Aoi."
"Cute little Ruki. You're all mine."
Ruki hummed in response, lightly scratching his nails down Aoi's back and along his sides as the darker man captured his mouth. He pulled at Aoi's belt, unbuckling it and then unfastening the jeans. Slipping one hand into them, he let out a long sound of arousal as he felt his partner. "Aoi..."
"Like that?"
"God, yes." Ruki was straining just to touch it - he was too small to be able to reach much further. He used his feet to push the denim from Aoi's hips down his legs. The guitarist laughed, placing a teasing kiss on Ruki's mouth.
"You want it?"
"Yes," Ruki whispered, trying to squeeze the bulge.
"Take off yours and you can have it."
Ruki huffed a bit, but then let go of Aoi and moved his hands to his own waist. He fumbled with the fastenings, licking and biting back at Aoi as he struggled. A moan escaped him as Aoi moved back down to his chest, kissing it firmly into the mattress. He managed to kick his pants off and slid off the last item of clothing before hugging Aoi's head, holding it in place against his sensitive points.
"Sweet and soft," Aoi murmured, sucking on him and making him arch. "My Ruki."
"All yours." He stroked through the thick black hair, closing his eyes and sighing softly. "Make me feel good."
The guitarist sucked and nibbled lightly on him, rubbing his thumb over the opposite side. Ruki let the feelings of pleasure wash over him, his body moving the way it liked to deal with the flood. He sighed Aoi's name when the elder brushed his lips down his rib cage to his stomach, where he sucked and laved his tongue against the soft skin. Ruki wanted more, and faster, but he'd take what he was getting. He didn't want to scare Aoi away again.
"Do you want to reciprocate?" Aoi asked, pulling away.
Ruki opened his eyes and pushed himself up in response. Aoi had gotten off the bed and was removing his last bit of clothing. The vocalist bit his lip, letting his eyes rake down the slim, toned frame, hailing every glorious inch. Aoi climbed onto the bed and motioned to him with a finger, a haughty smile turning his mouth now, as if he enjoyed seeing Ruki drink in the sight of him.
"Come here."
The vocalist crawled over and pushed up onto his knees, claimed a kiss, and then made his way down Aoi's body, tracing his tongue in patterns down the line of his torso to his hips. Reaching below his navel, Ruki grasped Aoi's arousal, moaning again as he felt its heat and hardness in his palm.
"Fuck, Aoi..."
"What are you going to give to me, Ru?"
"Whatever you want." He'd do anything. He looked up at Aoi's lusting black eyes, gently pumping the very base. "What do you want me to give, Aoi?"
"That sweet little mouth."
Ruki smiled, almost a smirk. Of course. Aoi dreamed of blowjobs. Too bad he didn't have time to put lipstick on and really drive him wild, but this would do. Saying, "As you wish," he leaned down, breathing against the swollen moist head, watching Aoi's body shiver. Ruki gave it a soft lick before taking it in, going as far as he could and letting his fingers slide the rest of the way. The guitarist let out a raw groan, body tensing.
"Shit..."
"You like that?" Ruki purred, falling into dirty, porn-like talk as he came off and ran his tongue up the underside. He stared hotly up at Aoi's face, watching every little change in his features. "You like my lips wrapped around your thick cock? You like me sucking you off?"
"God, yes, Ruki. Suck me."
Ruki went back on, moaning and sucking lewdly, his hand pumping the base hard. Aoi's groans and growls were delicious, driving him harder and spurring him to drooling over the hot, stiff organ. Ruki knew he turned into a complete slut for this, but he didn't care. It was good, and he liked it. Aoi's hand twisted in his hair and pulled him deeper onto it, all the way on, until his nose pressed against Aoi's skin and he felt the guitarist's balls against his chin. He almost choked on it, but he managed to keep it back until he managed to pull himself off and gasp in fresh air.
"Fuck, Ruki,” Aoi moaned, sounding as winded as Ruki was.
"Want it again?" he asked, panting hard. Without waiting for an answer, he pushed himself back onto it, almost making it all the way. Aoi's hips bucked, thrusting the last bit into his throat.
"Fuck!"
"Fuck my mouth?" Ruki asked, coming off again and licking over the slit.
"Can I?"
Ruki grabbed Aoi's hips, holding tightly to them, and took Aoi back in. He pulled on his lover a few times to simulate it, but then the darker one took control. Holding Ruki's hair, he thrust quickly and rather deep into Ruki, the head barely pushing into the younger's throat. Ruki gagged a bit again the first few, but clutching Aoi harder, the reflex went away and he enjoyed it, still gazing up at Aoi's face. He pushed his tongue up against the bottom of Aoi’s length as he fucked, making Aoi growl louder.
"Shit! Ruki! Fuck, your mouth is perfect!"
Ruki grabbed Aoi’s ass and pulled himself all the way back on, sealing his lips around the base. His eyes watered, but hearing Aoi scream like that and feeling him tense was entirely worth it. The guitarist pushed him off, and lying back on the bed, Ruki saw his lover was breathing hard, his cock twitching and dripping.
"Like it?" Ruki panted, smiling devilishly.
"God, Ru."
"Something's even better, though." Ruki opened his legs and slid a hand between them, proffering his entrance. "This is tight and hot."
Aoi hesitated, but Ruki was sure he saw the very tip of his tongue flit out and run along his lips.
"Come make me feel good,” he added in a silken tone. With that invitation, Aoi moved closer and kissed him. Ruki wrapped a hand around his neck, holding him in place. When they parted, he said softly, looking into Aoi's eyes, "We can go slow."
"... Ru..."
"Sometimes, you just have to take a blind step."
Aoi closed his eyes, his lips thinning a bit. Ruki kissed them, and he took one of Aoi's strong, calloused hands. He put it on his chest, and then lightly pulled it down his body, up and around a thigh, to his entrance and murmured gently, "I love you, Aoi."
"I love you too, Ruki."
"Trust me."
A pause, a sigh, and then Aoi slowly nodded. Ruki smiled and leaned up to kiss Aoi again when his partner opened his eyes.
"Get me ready."
Aoi pulled back and moved aside to get what they needed. Ruki watched, playing with one of his own nipples and biting his lip. He prayed Aoi wouldn't run away. To his relief, though, Aoi returned and sat down, squirting some lube into his hand. Ruki lifted his hips a bit, keeping his eyes on Aoi's face as the guitarist touched him, circling slippery fingers around Ruki's entrance. His hips clenched a bit at the cold, but the stimulation made the pleasure more worth it. Aoi continued it, watching him quietly with experienced eyes, until Ruki felt his body relax. Then one finger gently pushed inside, and Ruki arched, moaning.
"God, Aoi..."
"Okay?"
"Mmhm, it doesn't hurt at all."
Aoi began moving it back and forth, massaging him. Ruki melted a bit, his head pressing back against the pillows. God, he had missed this!
"Aoi..."
"Feeling good?"
"Yes, fuck." Ruki kept playing with himself, trying to open his eyes so he could look down at Aoi. "Give it to me."
"You want another one?"
"Give it."
Aoi glanced up at him, but then back down. The finger left, and then two came in. The vocalist groaned, wincing a bit at the slight burn of the stretch. After a few seconds, though, it was gone, and he was left with the strange pleasure again.
"You're very flexible," Aoi murmured, slowly beginning to thrust his fingers again.
"I kept myself that way," Ruki sighed, rolling his hips against Aoi's hand, trying to get him deeper. "I wanted you."
"You little slut."
"I wanted you inside me. I had to have something." Aoi's finger brushed him, and a sickening jolt of pleasure shot through him, making him tense and moan. "God...!"
Aoi withdrew a bit, instead making a few different movements shallowly. As he pulled his fingers out again, he said, "Relax yourself, Ru."
The vocalist grabbed himself and began massaging the head, whimpering from the empty feel in his hips and the pleasure that flowed through him at his own touch. He whispered, "Please, Aoi. Inside."
"Just a minute, cutie."
Ruki leaned up, watching Aoi lube his fingers more. The black eyes flitted to his face.
"You're sure?"
"Please."
"Okay. Lie back."
Ruki obeyed, beginning to feel impatient. He was ready to pin Aoi down and just fuck himself on his lover. He chewed on his lip when three fingertips pressed in, keeping his voice in as they pushed further. The groan escaped him when they stopped, though, and he grabbed a handful of his own hair, holding tightly to it to try to ground himself.
"Shit!"
"Is it okay?"
"Give me a second." It stung a bit – it had been awhile since they’d used toys this big, and Ruki wasn’t used to it. "I need a second."
Aoi moved up, keeping his hand inside Ruki as he pressed his lips to Ruki's nose. Ruki's eyelashes fluttered shut at the gentle touch.
"I love you, Ru," Aoi murmured to him.
"I love you too, Aoi." Ruki raised his head for an actual kiss, letting Aoi open his mouth and press deeper. "Mm... make love to me. Fuck me."
"I will when I know you're ready, bunny chan."
They kissed for a few tender minutes, though Ruki could feel and taste the desire building up in both of them. When the ache faded, he whispered against Aoi's tongue, "Move?"
Carefully, Aoi began moving his hand back and forth. Ruki's face scrunched up a bit for the first few movements, but then he felt himself relax, the burn disappeared, and only the pleasure of feeling the movements was left. He clung to Aoi's shoulders, panting softly as the sensations filled him.
"Shit..."
"You're so hot, Ru. Inside and out." Aoi tried a little faster, and Ruki got a little louder.
"Fuck, Aoi!"
"Doesn't hurt?"
"No, shit!" Ruki yelped as Aoi began drilling him quickly. His body bounced and rippled, his hips bucking as Aoi rubbed his prostate. "Fuck! Fuck!"
"I love your voice. I always have. But hearing like this is delicious."
"Shit! Aoi! God, it feels good!" Ruki threw his head back as his body shuddered with pleasure. "Aoi, fuck! Stop!"
"Don't want to get off?"
"I want you inside! Stop, please!"
Aoi slowed and then stopped, and Ruki slumped back, gasping hard. He was shaking hard as the stimulation left his system. The guitarist leaned up again, pulling out, and kissed Ruki's forehead softly.
"We can stop here."
"No we can't. I need you, Aoi. Please. Don't leave me like this. I want you. I'm ready for you. Please. I love you." Ruki didn’t care he was begging. He really would scream if Aoi left him like this again. "I need it."
"Okay. Okay."
He sounded like he was trying to reassure himself. Ruki reached up and stroked Aoi's cheek softly, and when his lover’s eyes met his, he said lovingly, "Come inside me."
Aoi slowly pulled back, and weakly, Ruki leaned up on one elbow to watch the guitarist wipe his slick fingers off on the sheets, tear open a packet with some difficulty, and then slowly roll the rubber on to his still-hard, very prominent erection. Ruki licked his lips as he watched Aoi's fingers move along the length.
"You're hot," he told his lover, and he got a small smile in response.
"Thanks, Ru." As he said it, Aoi picked up the bottle of lube and drizzled a liberal amount down his cock before slicking it. Ruki growled hungrily, wriggling a bit.
"I want it inside me."
"So you've told me."
"Fuck me." Ruki spread his legs wide, raising his hips more. "I'm all ready for you."
Aoi rubbed the excess around Ruki's entrance and inside, making the vocalist mewl and wiggle. Then he moved himself between Ruki's legs, lifting Ruki's knees a bit higher. He was looking down at the younger one, a bit of apprehension and anxiety clear on his face. Softening a bit, Ruki reached up, touching Aoi's face with his fingertips.
"It's okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. Once we do this, Aoi, there's no separating you from me. I'll never let you go."
Aoi's smile returned, and he dipped his head, kissing Ruki's palm. "Let me know if I'm hurting you."
"I will. Don't worry."
The guitarist took a deep breath, and then shifted. Ruki held still, trying to keep quiet. He felt Aoi's hard tip at his stretched entrance, and when Aoi exhaled, he pushed forward and entered. Ruki squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip hard to try to keep the groan from leaving his throat as he felt Aoi, truly Aoi, move inside him. Aoi wasn't as quiet - his breathing was loud, taking on raw growls as he panted.
"Fuck, Ru...”
“Yeah?” Ruki moaned, unable to keep his voice to himself.
“Fuck, you feel so good...!" A long, rough groan, and Aoi leaned forward onto his hands, his head falling onto his chest as his hips took over the job of forcing inside. "God!"
"Aoi!" Ruki whimpered, tears in his eyes from the pain of being stretched even further, and from the joy of pleasure and finally having what he had wanted for so long. "Aoi!"
"Fuck!" Aoi hissed again as he stopped. Ruki felt Aoi's hips against the backs of his thighs, the slim stomach working as if to hold back from somehow going even deeper. "Ruki!"
"You're inside me, your cock is in my ass... shit..." It hurt, but it was heaven. Ruki clenched as tightly as he could around it to make sure it was real. After so long, after all this arguing, he finally had it! "Fuck me, Aoi!"
"Does it hurt?" Aoi asked, sounding like he was talking through gritted teeth.
"No." It was a small lie. It would hurt for another little bit still, but the sooner Aoi started moving, the sooner it would start feeling amazing beyond his wildest dreams and he would forget the pain. "Come on, Aoi. Fuck me, give it to me. I want it. Give it to me!"
"God, Ru, don't ask it, I don't know if I can hold back..."
"Don't, then." Ruki tried to grind against him and move to motivate Aoi to do it. It was hard because his body was seized with pleasure and with adjusting, but he managed to move a bit, and he felt Aoi’s body twitch heavily at the stimulation. "Fuck me as hard as you want. You've been holding back so long, don't hold back any longer."
"Shit, Ruki!"
"Fuck me!" Ruki demanded, all patience lost now that he had Aoi deep inside. "Do it, fuck me!"
Aoi groaned, "God!" and then grabbed Ruki's legs, pushed his knees to his chest, and began thrusting fast and hard. Ruki yelped and then began to scream at the quick strokes.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit, Aoi! More!"
"Ruki, you’re so fucking tight...!" Aoi pinned him down and pounded him, his head down and long black hair falling across Ruki's legs.
"Shit, you’re good, I'm so full! God!" Ruki's body was snapping with the pleasure. Each of Aoi's movements rubbed against his sweet spot and he already wanted to cum. Somehow he held himself back, his hands fisting in the sheets and squeezing as hard as he could with the effort. "Fuck! Fuck me!"
"What do you think I'm doing?" All hesitation was gone from Aoi's voice and body. He was thrusting without holding back, hammering as deep into Ruki as he could. "Shit!" He arched, pausing in his movements to strain against Ruki instead. His head leaned back, revealing his throat and strong jaw. Ruki saw his eyes were tightly shut, his mouth open as he panted. His slick chest was heaving.
"God," Ruki breathed, staring up at his lover. He had seen Aoi's body before, of course, and slick with sweat. But seeing it like this and knowing that this body was penetrating him and making love to him was more breathtaking than anything else. "You're fucking hot."
A smirk stretched Aoi's lips now, and he began moving again, slow and then quickly increasing his speed. Ruki threw his head back into the pillows, gasping and crying out.
"Shit! Harder! Fucking fuck me like a whore!"
Aoi grabbed his waist now and began pulling his body back and forth, opposite his own movements, so each thrust in hit Ruki that much harder. The vocalist choked at the violent pleasure that flashed through him at the impact. With difficulty he managed to let go of the sheets and grabbed on to Aoi's biceps instead, digging his nails in to hold himself in place.
"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!"
"God!" Aoi shouted when Ruki's body shuddered at a particular thrust. "Fuck!"
Ruki clawed his way to Aoi's neck and pulled himself up, wrapping his arms around strong shoulders. Swaying his hips on his lover's cock and forcing down against the movements that didn't let up, he kissed Aoi hard, panting against the guitarist's lips. Their eyes met, and Ruki stared into the black depths that still seemed to be aflame with lust.
"Fuck me," he whispered, even as Aoi was continuing to thrust up into him at high speed. "Fuck me, that's all I've wanted, is for you to fuck me!"
"I'm fucking, babe." Aoi forced their mouths together, holding Ruki's head in place with one hand, the other gripping the vocalist's ass tightly. When they parted, he growled, "I'll fuck you until you can't walk tomorrow."
"Do it, fuck me, fuck me!" Ruki threw his head back with a gasping scream as Aoi slammed into his prostate and shot sickening pleasure through him. "Fuck!"
"Fuck!" Aoi echoed. Ruki could feel Aoi throbbing inside him. His head was spinning with the heat, the feeling of their skin sliding together, Aoi deep inside him. He was high, and he was straining to hold himself back now. Aoi was beating his prostate and Ruki was about lost. "Fuck, Ru!"
"God, I don't want to cum yet!" Ruki whimpered, digging his nails into Aoi's skin and clawing to try to work off some of the orgasmic pleasure. "I don't want to, I want you to fuck me more!"
"Let go of me."
"Aoi!"
"Let go."
It was a struggle, but Ruki somehow released Aoi's skin and loosened his legs from Aoi's hips. The guitarist lifted him off and dropped him onto the bed. Ruki whimpered at the loss, his hips squeezing and searching for Aoi's dick. Aoi was still on his knees, breathing shallow and hard, staring down at him.
"Don't stop," Ruki whined, scratching his own thighs in desperation. The need to orgasm wasn't leaving. He had to make it leave, so he could go longer. "Don't stop, fuck me!"
"We don't want to cum yet," Aoi replied. Ruki saw his hands were clenched in fists, shaking with restraint. It was a slight comfort to know his lover was fighting it like he was. "Take a few breaths."
"I want you." He spread his legs again, drawing his nails along his inner thighs over and over. His own member was twitching and swollen. He thought he saw a glimmer at the tip, and he prayed he was seeing it wrong. "Give it to me."
"Give me a second, Ru, otherwise I'll cum right away."
Ruki growled and rolled over onto his hands and knees. He thrust his hips back at Aoi and raised them high, looking over his shoulder.
"Fuck me!"
"God, Ruki..."
"Fuck me!"
A harsh slap landed on his ass, and he yelped in surprise and a bit of pain. Aoi slapped him again, and now Ruki whimpered with pleasure at the sting.
"You're such a slut."
"Yes!" Ruki gasped, back arching and raising his hips higher. He was perfectly happy to continue the rough play, both with the intercourse and with speech. He loved it, and it was particularly hot when it was the dark guitarist who so often wore a cold face for the media. Recalling the expressions Aoi would use at photoshoots and in artist pictures and then pairing it with the abusive language made him quiver with desire. "I'm a slut. I want you to fuck me!"
"Would you let me tie you up?"
"Yes!"
"Stick you full of toys?"
"God, yes!" Ruki cried, throwing his head back at a particularly hard slap.
"And then pound you into the mattress?"
"God, yes, I would! Give it to me! Fuck me!"
Aoi seized his hips and thrust inside him again, and Ruki screamed, arching harder and feeling his back crunch at the action.
"Fuck, yes!"
The guitarist used his grip to again pull Ruki to meet each vicious thrust, making the movements slam deeper inside. Ruki clawed at the bed, his body pulsing with the pleasure. He knew he was going to cum soon, and he did his best to hold it back, but before too long the effort for that had him simply laying his head on the bed and just letting Aoi plow him, whimpering and moaning loudly as his sweet spot was abused, all energy going to trying to endure.
"Aoi, shit, Aoi, Aoi, fuck me, fuck me..." He couldn’t make himself stop asking for it. It was too good, too passionate, too fulfilling. He had to ask for more and more.
"God, Ru... I'm going to cum..."
"Give it to me, give it!" He couldn't hold back much longer. His stomach was so tight it physically hurt. He whimpered, fingers clenching painfully tightly in the sheets as if this one last resort would prevent anything. "Fuck me!"
Aoi's movements were rough, hard, desperate, resounding into Ruki's very core. He whimpered, but exactly four thrusts later, he couldn't take it anymore. His restraint slipped, and he screamed loudly, his body releasing the tension and orgasm flooding him. As his head filled with the roar of the climax, he faintly heard Aoi's shout, and the painfully-hard slam into his ass, and Aoi's strong body straining against him.
Then almost suddenly, it was gone, and Ruki was weak, shaking hard, gasping for breath and unable to catch it. Aoi's hands were still clutching his hips hard, throbbing length still deep inside him. He heard the guitarist's rough breathing, felt his tiny movements against Ruki's behind, as if he couldn't stand to stop. He felt soft hair clinging to his back, the weight of Aoi’s head leaning onto the middle of his spine. Ruki moaned loudly, feeling incredibly clearly how his legs were quaking. He confirmed it yet again - real sex was far better than playing, and with Aoi it was better than anything.
"God, Aoi," he whimpered. "God..."
Aoi pulled out, and Ruki whined at the loss. He felt so open and empty, he wanted to ask Aoi to put it back inside. But the guitarist lowered him to the bed, and Ruki let his body fall limply into the mattress. A tingling bliss was spreading through his heavy body. Aoi rolled him over, and Ruki stared up at his lover, a bit speechless. The black eyes ran over him, seeming as if they were searching for something.
"I love you," Ruki managed, his voice hoarse. "Aoi."
"I love you too, Ru." Aoi kissed him softly, and Ruki moaned softly at the extra touch. "So much."
Ruki raised a hand and brushed it across Aoi's cheek. "You're amazing."
"You more than me." Aoi turned away for a few moments to finish things before he lay down beside him, wrapping an arm around Ruki's shoulders and holding him close. Ruki let his hand move down his heavily-breathing chest. "You little devil."
"That's me." Ruki smiled a bit, his vision still a bit hazy. "Do you regret it?"
"No. I'm still scared as hell, but... you're right. I need to move forward anyway."
"You're not going anywhere. I won't let you. Even if everyone else leaves, I'll keep you with me."
Aoi's mouth curved up, and he leaned his forehead against Ruki's now, staring into his eyes. "I don't want to go anywhere."
Ruki snuggled up close, fulfilled and exhausted. "Fuck me again in the morning."
"Was already planning on it."
“It can be slow and loving this time.”
“Could we even do such a thing?”
Ruki chuckled a bit, and then for awhile it was quiet, both of them still trying to catch their breath, until they were lying quietly, curled up together. Ruki cuddled a bit closer, tucking his head under Aoi's chin.
"I'll never stop craving you," he murmured. The tiny laugh he heard on Aoi's breath was a confirmation just as good as any words.