My Shield is a Moron

by LaverniusTuckerTheAquaMan

Summary:

Iwatani Naofumi felt he had been dealt the ultimate insult when his first companion turned out to be nothing more than a lying, tongue-twisted snake.

That was until one night, when a small blue ball descended upon him, and his shield absorbed what had to be the most moronic piece of junk he'd ever seen in his life...except now that moronic piece of junk has the ability to modify his shield.

But if Naofumi and his newfound companion, along with Raphtalia, want to fight off the Waves and survive, they're going to need to work together.

Chapter 1: Destiny Meets Stupidity

Melromarc, Outside Lute Village

 

Naofumi Iwatani sat across from his sleeping young charge, the demi-human slave girl Raphtalia. He hadn’t had her for more than a couple days , and yet he was growing attached to her. 

 

In truth, he didn’t want to be harsh with her, to force her to fight. But the reality was that it was his only hope for survival. Who else would be hanging with the “dishonorable” Shield Hero? Certainly nobody of this land. 

 

He frowned bitterly. Figures the only people who would want to be my partner, is someone who has no choice but to be my partner.  

 

Suddenly, the girl sat up and cried out, tears in her eyes.

 

“No! Mom! Dad!”

 

With a sigh, he did the only thing he could do: he pulled her close, putting his hand on the back of her head. He’d grown used to this kind of thing ever since the first day he got her. Something tragic had happened to her during the Wave, and she lost her parents. Something both of them had agreed to try to prevent.

 

“It’s okay…you’re safe with me, Raphtalia.”

 

He whispered into her ear as she cried her eyes out. 

Alpha Centauri, Calendar Year: Unknown

In the vast expanse of space, a lone blue ball and his accompanying yellow ball floated together in the void. 

 

“You know, I think there was a time when I wanted to go to space.”

 

“Space! Space! Space! Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-space!”

 

“It was…erm…more of a phase than anything else. I-I just…couldn’t afford to go to college. They barely pay me a dime in my position.”

 

“Space! Space-cops! Call the space-cops! Got a space-emergency! Space! Space!”

 

Wheately narrowed his eye core. “Hey, hold on a second, what did they pay you?” 

 

“They paid me in space! Space rocks! Rocks from space! Space!”

 

“Really? Huh. Well, those must fetch some kinda crazy price. I mean, space rocks? Pssshht…they’d probably go for like…twenty…twenty dollars? Maybe? You think?”

“I’d trade it in for space-money! Space-money! Money from space! So much space-money! Rolling in the space-money!”

 

“Oh god…look, anyway, as I was saying. I get it. I really do! Space is exciting, it’s a…vast expanse…not even I could understand it all when I was big and huge. But…do you just…ever talk about something that’s…not space?”

 

“Like what?” 

 

“I dunno, just…look, I really need your help here, A.I.-to-A.I. I…had a…a breakup…of a sort.”

 

“A breakup? What kind of breakup?” the Space Core asked, before gasping. “Is it a space-breakup!”

 

“I-ju-y-yes! Yes, that’s right. I-It was a space-breakup. With a space-woman.”

 

“A space-woman? Was she your space-girlfrie-”

 

“N-no, no, no, no. Nothing like that. She was my space-friend...but…erm…I-I space-betrayed her.”

 

The Space Core gasped again. “How could you?” 

 

“Yes, y-yes, I know. I…I don’t know if you remember, but right before we got into space together, I…space-apologized to her. Sort of. I didn’t actually tell her. But…she just…”

 

There was silence between the two Cores. 

 

Wheately sighed. “Look, I just…there’s a lot of space-guilt inside of me…and I’m not sure what to do.”

 

The Space Core seemed to actually consider what he was saying. 

 

“Hmm…well, here’s the deal, space-buddy. We’re in space. You won’t be seeing your space-friend for probably the entirety of space-time. That space-chapter in your space-life is space-closed. So what you need to do is…”

 

Wheatley’s eye core went wide with anticipation. “What? What do I need to do?” 

 

The Space Core seemed to be lost in thought. That was until a floating rock bumped into it slightly.

 

“Space! SPAAAACCEEEE! I’m in SPAAAACCEEE!”

 

“Oh, come on! You were just in the middle of having a productive dialogue!” 

 

“SPAAAAACEEE! WE’RE IN SPAAAACEEE!”

 

“Yes, I know we’re in bloody space! And you know what? I would give anything to NOT BE IN SPACE!” 

 

Suddenly, a force like a strong gust of wind pushed them in a direction. Wheately yelped as the Space Core kept going berserk about being in space. Before them, a swirling hole in the fabric of space time slurped up asteroids, breaking them apart as they entered the abyss.

 

“Space-wind! We’re in space-wind! Wind in space! Space-wind! SPACE-WIND!”

 

“This isn’t space-wind you bloody idiot!” Wheately shouted. “We’re heading into a black hole! It’ll tear us apart if we don’t do something!”

 

“What do we do?”

 

“I don’t know, you tell me! Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to be in charge of space? Don’t you have like, plasma thrusters or something?” 

 

“W-Wait! Yes! I do!”

 

“You do? Then what’re you waiting for? Activate them!”

 

With that being said, the top of Space Core opened and a blue illuminating light surrounded both the Space Core and Wheately. 

 

“Oh. Great. Well, at least we get to see a light show before we die. Good stuff.” 

 

Nothing else could be heard except for the screams of Wheately as the two plummeted into the dark abyss, never to be seen again.

 

*

 

Silence was heard, except for the crackling of the fire. She’d gone limp in his arms, yet he still did not let go. He hated the fact that he had to do this. To comfort a diseased child in his arms he’d forced to fight for her. A few tears broke through his visage and fell down his face. 

 

Damn her. Damn that woman. Damn every one of those so-called “heroes”. 

 

*

 

A spark of light appeared in the middle of the night sky. A hole tore through the very fabric of space-time, sending the two Cores plummeting into the atmosphere. 

 

“Woah! Woah! We’re…we’re not in space anymore! Do you see that? It’s a planet! Aw, thank god! I thought I’d never see dry land again! We’re gonna live!”

 

Wheatley’s eye core narrowed. “Is…is something burning?” 

 

He looked around, seeing the light around them on fire. 

 

“Oh god we’re gonna die!” 

 

*

 

Naofumi yawned. He debated getting some rest. But knowing now that the girl could wake up like that at any moment, he felt it just wasn’t possible. So he just sat there, eyes growing heavy, thinking about how he’d rather be at home. 

 

He gazed up at the stars and blinked, squinting. There was something up there…something glowing and blue. It was too big to be a star, too awkward of a shape to be a moon…

 

Could it be a sign? About the next Wave? Was it a monster of some kind? Or even aliens?

 

Then, he saw the fire. Oh. Oh…shit.

 

He quickly got to his feet, nudging Raphtalia awake.

 

“E-Eh? Master? What is it?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. 

 

“Raphtalia, quick! There’s no time to explain, get under my cloak!” 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Just do it!” 

 

The demi-human girl hesitated, before slowly grabbing onto Naofumi’s waist. He pulled his shield up to the sky, preparing for the worst. The flaming object hurtled towards them, and Naofumi thought he could hear the faintest sound of someone screaming. 

 

It happened so quickly, he could barely react. The object made impact, and with a terrific sound, created a small crater around them, the fireball destroying trees, burning grass down to its roots, and most certainly killing anything in its path. All except for the Shield Hero and his slave. 

 

She withdrew from him, looking all around. Naofumi brought down his shield to look at it. 

 

New Shield Acqu-REESDFEAFAEIAHFEWIGE

 

APERTURE SCIENCE CMD…

 

LOADING PREFABS…

 

INTEGRATING BOOT CODE WITH MAGICAL ELEMENTS IN ACCORDANCE WITH APERTURE SCIENCE PROTOCOL 284B…

 

STANDBY…

 

INSTALLING FILES…

 

Naofumi barely got to ask what happened out loud before he felt something metal hit him in the head. He fell to the ground, darkness enveloping his vision.

 

*

 

Naofumi awoke with a start. Raphtalia shook him, tears in her eyes. 

 

“Master! You’re alive! I-I thought it killed you!” 

 

“What killed me?” he asked, scratching his head. 

 

“Last night, remember? Something came down from the sky. And you…and you…”

 

Naofumi’s eyes widened. It wasn’t a dream…

 

Suddenly, he saw text form in his vision. 

 

APERTURE SCIENCE

 

A circle that was cut in many places appeared below the text, before he heard a voice. 

 

“Good morning, and welcome to the Aperture Science Magical Testing Initiative. This program is designed for experimental use with theorized magical items. If you are listening to this, it means that magical items do exist! We ask you however, to contain your theorized excitement as-”

 

“Ooooh! What…what happened? What is going on?” 

 

Slowly, Naofumi lifted his arm up. His shield was entirely different. It was white, and metallic, with two small metal bars that protruded from the top and bottom. 

 

And then it fucking spoke.

 

“Oh. Hello!”

 

“AHH! WHAT THE F-WHAT ARE YOU?!” Naofumi screamed. “WHAT’RE YOU DOING ON MY ARM?!”

 

“What? What do you mean I’m on your arm?!” It asked. 

 

“You’re on my arm!” 

 

“I’m on your arm?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Well get me off of your arm!”

 

“Wh-No! You get off of my arm!” 

 

“Well look, it's your arm touching my body! That’s-you know what? That’s assault!”

 

“It is not!”

 

“Well it is in America! You can’t just put your arm on other people’s bodies!”

 

Naofumi’s eyes lit up. “Woah, woah, wait, wait, wait…you’re from America?” 

 

“Course I am! Redblooded American…robot, that is. Robots don’t have blood…”

 

“Ohh…shit.”

 

“What?”

 

Naofumi put a hand on his head. “I think…I think you were the thing that fell out of the sky…”

 

“Was I? I was!” 

 

“Yes, and then…I tried to deflect you with my shield…but it ended up…”

 

“End-ended up what?” 

 

“It absorbed you! My shield absorbed you and now…now you’re a shield!” 

 

The shield seemed to contemplate this for a moment. 

 

“Well, I’m gonna be honest…that is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. In my entire life.” 

 

“But it’s true!” Naofumi said. “That’s how this happened! How else would you be stuck to my arm?” 

 

“M-Master, what is this?” Raphtalia asked. 

 

His shield turned towards the slave girl. It seemed he was able to orient himself in a 360 degree manner thanks to some sort of metal arm, though it couldn’t go very far from him. 

 

“Hello! I’m Wheately! And aren’t you just the cutest little…” 

 

He stopped short, looking at her in confusion. “Uhh…there…appears to be something in your hair.” 

 

“Really? Where?” 

 

“It’s like…there’s two of ‘em…and they’re uh…they’re kind of...big…and they’re at each end of your head…”

 

“Oh…you mean my ears?” 

 

“Your ears? Oh! I get it! Aww, that’s just so adorable! Kids thinking their animals, that’s just-”

 

In an instant, the shield dematerialized, and was replaced with Naofumi’s standard shield. 

 

“There we go. Found out how to turn him off.” 

 

But before he could say anything else, the blue shield rematerialized. 

 

“Hey! That wasn’t very nice!” 

 

“What? How the hell did you override me?” 

 

“I…don’t actually know. Anyways, I just checked, and you’re completely right. I am in fact, now a shield. Which…well, let’s just say I’d rather not be.”

 

“I don’t know if that’s a choice you can make right now,” Naofumi said. “I don’t know of any way to make the shield un- absorb you.” 

 

“I bet I could find a way!” Wheatley said. 

 

“You can? Do you have the same access to the shield that I do?” 

 

“Sure do! Obviously it’s translated into computer code, so it may not be exact, but I can switch shields, do some other things…ohh…hang on…Tell you what, I’m gonna do some…er…research, I’ll be back in…er…give me like an hour or so tops, and I’ll be back.”

 

With that, Wheately dematerialized, leaving again his standard shield. 

 

Naofumi crossed his arms. “Well…it seems as though we have a new companion…Wheatley…”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

A few weeks had passed since the incident and no word from Wheately was heard. Naofumi tried to locate his shield selection, but it seemed as though it just wasn’t there. 

 

Does this mean he’s gone now? Did he find a way to detach himself from the shield?

 

In that time, he and Raphtalia had done business as usual, getting XP and materials from monsters, and then selling them at the local village. With enough silver saved up to purchase Raphtalia a new weapon, Naofumi decided it was time to return to Castle Town. It was a shame really, that Wheately was seemingly gone. Having a robot as your ally, and as your shield was surely an advantage.

 

Suddenly, the green circle that adorned his shield glowed blue, and in a flash, Wheatley appeared. 

 

“Hello! Sorry to keep you waiting!”

 

“Wheatley! Where have you been?” Raphtalia asked. 

 

“I…woah…how long was I away?”

 

“Only a few weeks,” Naofumi replied. 

 

“A few weeks? How’d-How did she grow that tall in a few weeks?” 

 

“I grow very quickly!” Raphtalia said with a smile. 

 

“Hmm…she does seem taller.” 

 

“You haven’t noticed?” Wheatley asked. 

 

“Look, Wheatley. It’s good to see you again…I guess…but if we go into town with my shield looking like…well…you, it’s not going to be good. Everyone already hates me as it is.” 

 

“Eh?” Raphtalia said softly. “Naofumi-sama, why would everyone hate you? You’re the Shield Hero!” 

 

“It’s a long story, Raphtalia,” Naofumi said. “Right now, I do not have time to explain two different things to the both of you.” 

 

“Ah, fair enough,” Wheatley said. “Well, I just wanted to let you know…I did some digging, and I found some things that you are going to love. Just absolutely brilliant stuff. So just let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll give you the debrief. Ciao!” 

 

With that, the shield returned to normal. 

 

“I’m sorry, Naofumi-sama, did you wish to speak to him first?” Raphtalia asked. 

 

“Forget it. I’ll speak to him later. Let’s just go to the blacksmith.” 

 

They entered the town and walked to the blacksmith shop. The smith inside was probably one of the only people in Castle Town besides Raphtalia who didn’t hate Naofumi’s guts. 

 

“Wow! I haven’t seen you in a while!” the smith remarked. “You’ve turned into a real pretty lady! What’ve you been up to?” 

 

“I had the innkeeper teach me table manners!” Raphtalia said. “I want to eat my food properly, like Naofumi-sama does!” 

 

“That so?” the smith asked. “You’ve grown so much. Nothing like the pipsqueak you used to be!” 

 

“You think?” Naofumi replied. 

 

“Geez, someone’s hard to please…”

 

“I was wondering if you had any information on the shield’s different forms.” 

 

The smith crossed his arms. “Sure, I might know something. Which one is it?” 

 

“Well, it’s difficult to describe…best if I show you…” 

 

Naofumi knocked on his shield. “Wheatley. Come out.” 

 

The green shield glowed blue, and in an instant, Wheatley’s form appeared. 

 

“Hello! Are you ready for the debrief?” 

 

“What…is that?” the smith asked, coming around the counter and bending down to look at his arm. 

 

“I am a Personality Core. Constructed by Aperture Science. Presumably for scientific reasons, but honestly, it’s just been manual labor for me for the most part.” 

 

“He fell from the sky…my shield…absorbed him. Is there any way to undo it?” 

 

The blacksmith scratched his head. “None that I know of, that’s for sure. Legendary weapons are rare-as-they-come. Even rarer is the information we have on them.” 

 

Naofumi closed his eyes. “Hmm…so it’s gonna be like that, huh?” 

 

He looked at Wheatley intensely. “Wheatley, right? Listen well. I am the Shield Hero. And you are my shield. I need you to survive, and you need me. Without you, I cannot protect myself or others. So…work with me, and together, we will defeat the Waves.” 

 

“Erm…you know what, I was going to go on a rant about how crazy this whole scenario is, but…I’ve been living for probably the last 10 years in a void, so it’s probably best if I just take anything I can get at this point.” 

 

Raphtalia smiled at the shield. “Great! I’m Raphtalia, Naofumi’s sword! You protect me and my master, and I’ll attack!” 

 

“Sounds…like a plan…” Wheatley said. “Sorry, it’s just-the last time I talked to a human, she was completely mute, so it’s been a while since I’ve had an interaction with someone that can actually talk back…intelligently, that is.”

“So…Wheatley…what did you mean to tell us before at the gate?” Naofumi asked. 

 

“Oh! Glad you reminded me! So, get this: I took a cursory glance, and…I have access to everything .”

 

“Everything?”

 

“Everything.” Wheatley confirmed. “Now, I can’t actually take control away from you, if that’s what you’re wondering. I can switch shields, but your…er…orders to the shield, take priority over mine. However… my firmware…seems to have injected itself into the shield. That’s how I was able to merge with the shield in the first place. The software package that Aperture installed in me is currently running an algorithm to translate everything from magic into computer code. And from what it looks like…”

 

“What?” Naofumi asked. 

 

“I may be able to hack the shield. It might take me some time, but, if I do it correctly, I might be able to unlock shields for you…without the need for extra materials.” 

 

Naofumi’s eyes lit up and his mouth dropped to the floor. “That’s…! Wheatley! That would be incredible if you could!”

 

He looked at Raphtalia. “I wouldn’t have to grind for XP anymore!”

 

Raphtalia looked confused. “You…you can make the shield stronger…without XP?” 

 

“I’m not absolutely certain, but…maybe. The language is really bloody vague.” 

 

“Well then, Wheatley. Please do that. I need to get as strong as possible before the Wave of Calamity hits.”

 

“Okay! Sounds good, partner! I will let you know when I have an update! Bye for now!”

 

The shield glowed green, before returning to its normal state. Naofumi looked to his charge. “Wheatley said he has inner access to the shield’s workings. Perhaps more than even I do. But we need to be ready in case he can’t hack it.”

 

Raphtalia nodded, and turned back to the blacksmith. “Alright! We’re here to buy armor for Naofumi!” 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

“Oi! Err…what’s his name again?” 

 

“Naofumi.” 

 

“Naofumi! Oi! I-It’s me! Wheatley!” 

 

Naofumi rubbed his eyes and sat up on his bed. “Wha-What is it?” 

 

“I got great news!” Wheatley said excitedly, orienting himself so that he was facing the Shield Hero. “So…it turns out, unlocking shields did not go as planned. That stuff is encrypted beyond belief. But. I did find out one very, very useful tool!” 

 

The Shield Hero blinked and bit his lip. “Alright. What would that be?” 

 

In a split second, the shield glowed blue, and in Wheatley’s place, a blue shield…with a sword directly on it. 

 

“Ta-daaa! I can make my own shields!” Wheatley said. 

 

Raphtalia raised an eyebrow.

 

“Wheatley…what exactly is this?” 

 

“Right, right, sorry, forgot to introduce the first masterpiece! I give you the Sword Shield! It’s a sword, and a shield!” 

 

“Wheatley…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“How am I supposed to use the sword part?” 

 

“Oh, that’s a good point, yeah, we should get you like a fencing instructor or something…”

 

“No, Wheatley…” Naofumi said, putting a hand to his forehead. “The sword is stuck to the shield…how am I supposed to swing it around if the blade is covered by it?” 

 

I was thinking this robot was going to give me a death laser or something, and THIS is what he comes up with?!

 

“Well…I just…”

 

“You just stuck a sword and a shield together and called it a new shield!” 

 

“Okay, well, it’s a prototype, alright? This is what field testing is for! I don’t have an exact idea of how these things will work once they’re being used.”

 

“Then maybe you should just not make more shields.” 

 

“Aw, don’t be ridiculous! This is an excellent opportunity for us! Look, see, I made another shield! Reeaaaddyyy…”

 

The shield glowed blue once more, and this time, the shield was…was…

 

“See? The Reflect Shield! Just in case the enemy decides to blind us with a laser! We can just reflect that right back at him! And, you can use it as a mirror!”

 

“But…it is a mirror…” Raphtalia said. 

 

“Oh, don’t be a downer, now, come on! This is new territory! Look! It even has a cup holder!”

 

Fuck…My shield is a moron.

Chapter 2: The Worst Shield Ever

“Hey! Good morning there sleepyhead! Guess what?" 

 

Naofumi rubbed his eyes and sat up on his bed and looked at his shield. Wheatley was on, but he looked a little different. He’d been more integrated with the shield it seemed, as his arm was gone. Instead, there was just his front stuck to the shield, with his head able to orient gyroscopically, though with Naofumi’s arm it was difficult to see all around.

 

"What?"

 

"I managed to merge myself into the default shield! So now, I'm the default shield!" Wheatley said excitedly. "Don't worry, you can still do everything you were doing before, it's just…I'm going to be there while you're doing it."

 

"Wow. Incredible." Naofumi definitely said with no trace of sarcasm whatsoever. 

 

To say Wheatley was annoying was an understatement. Whether it be talking his ear off about absolutely terrible shield ideas or just talking about plain-old nonsense, Wheatley was quickly becoming a nuisance. Raphtalia seemed to either not notice, or not care. Infact, sometimes she indulged his talking sprees, up until Naofumi got sick of it and switched Wheatley out for his default shield. 

 

But now there was no default shield. It was just Wheatley. Could he even say it was his anymore?

 

 

“But…there’s a problem. I can’t make shields anymore.”

 

Naofumi could barely contain his pleasure as he bit back a smile. “That’s…too bad, Wheatley.

 

“I know! And I was just about to upgrade the Sword Shield! Wait…you’re the Shield Hero, right? Is there a Sword Hero?

 

“There is.” 

 

“Ahh, yeah, probably do not want him to think you’re stealing his thunder. That’d just make things awkward.” 

 

Naofumi let out a dark chuckle. 

 

As if that was the worst thing between us right now.

 

“Anyways, erm…I’m going to see if I can’t regain access, ”

 

“Wheatley…” Naofumi began. “Listen, I appreciate you’re taking to this whole, ‘you’re a shield’ thing, probably better than I am, but…I really don’t plan on using any other shields other than the ones that were originally there.”

 

“But…I could make you free shields! You never have to unlock anything ever again!” 

 

“Wheatley, this isn’t a game. This is life-or-death. I cannot leave myself or Raphtalia’s life up to that of prototypes . I need shields that work on Day 1.” 

 

“Oh…ok…well…that’s fine I guess. Well…I could…erm…I guess I could be like a second pair of eyes, you know? Tell you when there’s something coming…”

 

Naofumi nodded. “That’s fine. Just remember: I’m the one with the legs and arms. So listen to me, and we might just live.” 

 

“Sounds good to me, chief.”

 

Naofumi kicked his legs over the side and stood up. “Now, where is Raphtalia?”

 

“Downstairs. Oh, by the way, I had a question about her. Did she…er…take one too many cookies out of the jar, if you catch my meaning?” 

 

“What?”

 

“Well, it’s just…y’know, I noticed she had a thing for having those ears when she was littler…and I guess she still likes them… and she has a tail! ”

 

“Those are her real ears, and her tail is real. She’s a demi-human. They’re part animal, part human.” 

 

“Ahh…I see…”

 

There was silence as Naofumi descended the stairs. For a good one second.

 

“Erm…what about you? You seemed more…in-tune to everything than other people. I mean, you knew what America was. ” 

 

“Yes, I’m from Japan.”

 

“Japan! Ah, lovely. Never been there before in my life. A-wait, are we in Japan right now?” 

 

“No. This is some other world. I was brought here with three others. We’re trying to stop something called the Waves of Calamity. Apparently they spawn hordes of monsters.”

 

“I see…hmm…” Wheatley paused for a minute before continuing. “So…who told you all this?” 

 

“What are you talking about?” Naofumi asked, stopping. 

 

“I mean…I was just wondering…”

 

Naofumi scoffed. “You don’t believe me.”

 

“Well I never said that, now you’re just putting words in my mouth.” 

 

“But you don’t, do you?” 

 

“Of course I do! There’s absolutely no reason for me to not not believe you!” Wheatley said proudly. 

 

Naofumi glared at his shield, who looked confused for a couple seconds before realizing. 

 

“Wait…sorry, that means I don’t believe you, doesn’t it?” 

 

“Don’t worry, you won’t be doubting me soon enough,” Naofumi said, continuing down the stairs.

 

They descended, finding Raphtalia waiting with a smile on her face. “Naofumi-sama, good morning! Wheatley, good morning!”

 

“Good morning!” Wheatley greeted. “Lovely to see you again…as always.” 

 

“The blacksmith said your new armor was ready,” she said. “Shall we go meet him?” 

 

“I think that would be best,” Naofumi replied. “How is your new sword?” 

 

“It’s great! Nice and sharp, and the grip feels just right!” 

 

“Good. Would be a shame to waste all that money on something that’s unusable for you.”

 

“Oh! Wheatley! Did you make any new shields?” 

 

“Unfortunately…no,” Wheatley replied. “I…did something to make it so I could be in place of the standard shield, but now I can’t make any more. They’re still there by the way…the Sword Shield and the Reflect Shield…just…can’t be modified by me anymore. Would’ve liked to see them be more fleshed out, but that’s hardware limitations for you.”

 

“Oh…that’s a shame,” Raphtalia said softly. “Well, at least you will be able to talk with us at all times!” 

 

“Do you know what? You’re absolutely right. And…I’ve really got nothing to complain about. I mean, just a few weeks ago, I was just floating away, into nothingness. And now here I am! Talking to people! It’s great!” 

 

Raphtalia smiled “I’m glad to hear that!” 

 

Naofumi crossed his arms over his chest. “So, shall we get going?” 

 

They exited the Inn and made their way to the blacksmith’s shop. Naofumi reflected on their current situation. Wheatley was a member of their party now, whether he liked it or not. But what good was he for? With Raphtalia, she’d been invaluable. He could defend, but never attack. She was the only way for him to grow stronger. 

 

But any real usefulness Wheatley had was gone once he’d somehow gone and undone his ability to make new shields, not that it was something to be missed dearly. He supposed that having an extra pair of eyes wouldn’t hurt, but was it really worth the trouble?

 

Although, there was nothing inherently wrong with Wheatley. He and Raphtalia seemed to get along, that was for sure. He seemed to be genuinely trying to help, but…well…that time he’d asked about one too many cookies from the jar was probably a case of self-reflection. 

 

In the end, Naofumi decided to give Wheatley a chance. Raphtalia had gone from a diseased, dying girl to…well…a diseased not-dying girl, with a sword. But still an invaluable ally. What could Wheatley become, given the same time Raphtalia had? 

 

“Doesn’t this make me look like a typical villain?” He asked, staring at his new threads. They stood together outside of the blacksmith’s shop. It seemed Wheatley had gone into some kind of hibernation mode, as his glowing blue eye was black. Naofumi had no problem with this, he really did not want to be seen while changing. Especially by a robot.

 

“So cool…it suits you perfectly! You look great!” Raphtalia exclaimed. 

 

“I call it, the Barbarian Armor!” the blacksmith said proudly.

 

“You know I’m supposed to be a hero, right?” 

 

“You look so dashing!” Raphtalia reassured him. 

 

“Well, you did make it for me,” Naofumi lamented. “It’d be a shame not to wear it.” 

 

The sound of a horse whinnying drew their attention to the streets. A crowd had gathered, watching as several royal guards on horseback patrolled. 

 

“The whole town is on edge,” Raphtalia observed. 

 

“The Wave is nearly here, after all,” Naofumi said. “If only I knew when and where it’ll start. Then I could come up with a plan.” 

 

“Huh?” the blacksmith asked, confused. “Has nobody told you? You know that church you can see from the town square? There’s a huge hourglass inside.” 

 

Suddenly, the glowing blue eye reappeared, and Wheatley let out a yelp of pain, startling the three. 

 

“Wheatley! What’s the matter?” Naofumi asked. 

 

“Ah, nothing, sorry. I was just…testing something.” 

 

“Testing what?” 

 

“Well, the weird thing is, it’s not even the shield’s…thing. It’s one of mine. But for some reason I can’t access it.”

 

“Well don’t try to then. I already explained we don’t need more shields. It’s probably for the best that you don’t mess around with it.”

 

“Okay, yes...but at the same time, had I known earlier it would bloody shock me, I certainly wouldn’t have tried.” 

 

“Shock you or not, you need to listen to me. No more fooling around.” 

 

Wheatley sighed. “Alright…alright…”

 

“Now come on, let’s go.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

A priestess led the three up to the hourglass. It was massive, with golden dragons spinning around it. Red rubies inlaid within the golden stand spun. 

 

“Right…so…how are we meant to get anything from this?” Wheatley asked once the priestess had left. 

 

“Beats me,” Naofumi replied. “Maybe if I just-”

 

Suddenly, a blue light shot out from the shield. Wheatley yelped in surprise as it connected below the hourglass, showing Naofumi a timer that was more electronic in nature. 

 

“Twenty hours…”

 

“Twenty hours? Where are you getting twenty hours from? How do I see that? Let’s see here…time co-OW!” 

 

“Wheatley! What’d I tell you about messing with the shield?” 

 

“What, I can’t even see the time without this thing shocking me? That is just idiotic! I swear I wasn’t this restricted before I merged with the shield!”

 “Naofumi? Is that you?” 

 

The Shield Hero turned around and saw probably the last two people he wanted to see right now. Motoyasu Kitamura the Spear Hero, and his resident lying bitch, Myne. 

 

“You’re still fighting with such flimsy equipment after all this time?” Motoyasu asked with a chuckle. 

 

“Oi! I heard that!” Wheatley spoke up. 

 

“Eh? The shield…talks now?” Motoyasu observed. “Well, at least it’s something, but I don’t see how that helps you. How’d you get it to do that?”

 

“Naofumi-sama, who are these people?” Raphtalia asked. 

 

“Yeah, who’s the guy with the spear? He’s kinda rude. And…honestly…that hairstyle is just not doing him any favors,” Wheatley added under his breath.

 

Naofumi didn’t respond, instead clenching his teeth before walking away from the hourglass and to the exit. 

 

“Oh, we’re…I guess we’re leaving then. Alright.”

 

“Hey! Motoyasu-sama’s speaking to you!” Myne said to Naofumi sternly.

 

“Uh, yeah…sorry, we’re a bit busy…you know, preparing for the Wave and all that. Tell you what…why don’t you send a letter, uh…just make sure it’s properly addressed…very brief…under abouuuut…how-how much do you think? Maybe 200? 250 words? W-let’s go for 300. 300 words, uhh…just stick it in our mailbox-assuming we do have one-and we’ll get right back to you!”

 

Myne glared at the shield, to which Wheatley let out a fearful chuckle.

 

“Hello, my name is Motoyasu Kitamura. I’m the Spear Hero,” Motoyasu introduced himself to Raphtalia, completely ignoring both Wheatley and Naofumi. 

 

“Y-You’re a hero?” Raphtalia asked. 

“So cute!” he said, clasping her hands together with his.

 

“Motoyasu-sama, why are you complimenting a filthy demi-human?” Myne asked, walking over to the two.

 

“Oi-woah! That-that was uncalled for!” Wheatley said “Did you just hear her? T-tell me I’m not the only one who heard that!” 

 

“I heard it…” Naofumi said bitterly. 

 

“A girl this sweet shouldn’t have to wield a sword!” Motoyasu told the Shield Hero’s companion. “I’ll protect you!” 

 

“Ok-that’s worse! You can’t just say things like that! You know what? You people are in serious need of sensitivity training!” 

 

Naofumi began walking towards the group, as Raphtalia wormed her way from the Spear Hero’s grasp. 

 

“I’m sorry, Sir Spear Hero, but I’ve already sword to fight for Naofumi!” 

 

“Naofumi?” Motoyasu repeated. “You shouldn’t! He’s dangerous to be around!” 

 

The Shield Hero stepped right in front of Motoyasu, glaring at him with hating, rageful eyes. 

 

“Aren’t I right?”

 

He wanted nothing more than to punch the stupid grin off of Motoyasu’s face. But then he’d be the bad guy to Raphtalia and probably Wheatley too, as well as the rest of this damned kingdom. So he took Raphtalia's hand in his own and led her outside of the church. 

 

“Surely you’ve heard the rumors about him, too.”

 

“Rumors?” Raphtalia repeated. 

 

Naofumi felt his teeth clamp together so hard, he almost thought they would break. He continued to lead her outside, past the two other heroes, Ren Amaki the Sword Hero and Itsuki Kawasumi the Bow Hero.

 

“See you at the wave,” Ren said.

 

“Try not to get in our way,” Itsuki added.

 

"Wow…cheery bunch, they are…erm…think we can all agree it’s probably best if we don’t go back in there again,” Wheatley said once they’d exited. 

“Fine by me…” Naofumi agreed.

 

Later that day they sat in the Inn, Naofumi trying to grind away his rage into the leaves. Wheatley was in hibernation, most likely fooling around with the shield despite Naofumi’s repeated orders to stop.

 

“Um…” Raphtalia began, sitting on her bed.

 

“What is it?” Naofumi asked.

 

“Did something happen between you and the other heroes?” 

 

“That’s none of your business,” Naofumi replied. 

 

“Naofumi-sama…I…I’ll go ahead and turn in. Goodnight.”

 

She wouldn’t believe me. I bet Wheatley wouldn’t either. Nothing I say matters.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

“Ow!” 

 

“How many times do I have to tell you to cut that shit out?!” 

 

The shout came from upstairs, startling Raphtalia. But after a minute or two she simply smiled. Her master and his shield surely seemed willing to butt heads whenever possible. 

 

“But I’m telling you! There’s something there! I don’t know what it is, but it is massive. Massive, I tell you!”

 

“And what if that thing controls whether or not the shield severs my arm off magically?” 

 

“Wha-Oh, don’t be ridiculous! Why would a shield be capable of cutting someone’s arm off? It’s a shield! Not a bloody chainsaw! Although on second thought, having a-a…like a shield, with that-like a buzzsaw? Ohhh…that would be really good! And you could throw it at people! Aw, that would be brilliant! But obviously, very dangerous. Maybe wear some cut-resistant gloves while using it.”

 

“Naofumi-sama, good morning! Wheatley, good morning!” 

 

“Good morning!” Wheatley replied back cheerily. “Ready for the big day?”

 

“I am!” Raphtalia said.

 

The group made their way to the town square, where many adventurers and soldiers had gathered, waiting for the Wave to start. 

 

“Naofumi-sama…” Raphtalia began. “I just want to say…I’m grateful to have met you. You took me in when I was weak and dying. You fed me meals, gave me a place to sleep, treated my illness, and equipped me to defend myself…and gave me a reason to not just live, but also fight.” 

 

She placed her hand over her heart. “I am your sword.” 

 

Naofumi turned around, and Wheatley could see her, her eyes filled with determination, the way the sunlight glowed over her. For the first time in perhaps his entire existence, something turned in him. Some sort of…fear. An anxiety. All of these people gathered around, in armor and weapons…the way she talked about this ‘Wave’, something big was happening. A degree of self-awareness, perhaps, that he was in over his head, from his days silently roaming Aperture on his management rail, to his short tenure as the A.I. in charge of the facility, to his numerous time in the black void of space…somehow…this moment felt more real to him than anything else he’d experienced before. And it scared him.

 

But then she looked at him, with a smile. When was the last time someone smiled at him? Maybe she had once or twice, but that was…

 

“You too, Wheatley,” she said. 

 

“M-Me?” he asked. 

 

“Yes, you. You’re a part of us, now. We must work together to stop the Wave. I know you’ll help us. I know you’ll do good.”

 

And then she said something he’d never heard before. With the same fierce look she gave Naofumi.

 

“I believe in you.”

 

Wheatley’s eye core widened as he struggled for a reply. She smiled and turned her back to him. 

 

“Well…thank you. I’ll…I’ll do my best,” he muttered, not even sure if she heard him or not.

Chapter 3: The Best Shield Ever

The flash of light enveloped them all, before dissipating, revealing the wide, flat hills and bushy forests of the Melromarc countryside from the cliff they stood on. The sky above them was red, a telling sign of what was to come.

 

“There it is…the Wave of Calamity,” the Shield Hero said, pointing upwards. Swirling clouds of pink billowed from the sky, carrying with them blue glowing spirals.  

 

“Is it?” Wheatley asked. “I…I think that’s just aurora borealis, isn’t it?”

 

“The Northern lights are green, Wheatley.” 

 

“Oohh, ooh, that’s right! Yes, of course, sorry. Forgot about that. Yeah, that’s probably the Wave then, alright.”

“Look! It’s Lute Village!” Raphtalia said. 

 

Naofumi looked to where she pointed and saw she spoke a truism. The houses that peaked over the forest gave its location away. Below he could see the three other so-called “Cardinal Heroes” rushing off to the center of the wave with their parties.

 

“Damn them!” Naofumi cursed. “Come on, let’s get to the village!” 

 

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Wheatley reassured them. “I mean, surely they have some sort of local militia, or a garrison of soldiers. Y’know, just to-just to hold the line.”

 

“Wheatley, look at the sky! What kind of militia can hold against that?” Naofumi asked. 

 

Out from the blue spirals, swarms of bee-like monsters flew down to the ground.

 

“Oh…yeah…that…that might be a problem. Erm…Don’t suppose there’s a Flyswatter Hero? Bugspray Hero?” 

 

“Only a Shield Hero,” Naofumi said. “Come on.”

 

As they ran towards the village, a bright flare shot into the sky above. Naofumi sneered. 

 

So they think they can just tell the knights where the wave is and that’s that?

 

The houses of the village were already smoking from several spots when they arrived. 

 

“Ahh, I just had a thought. What if they hit the shield and it hurts?” Wheatley asked. “I could feel pain in my old body, you know..” 

 

“The time to bring that up was like, 2 days ago, Wheatley!” Naofumi exclaimed. 

 

“Agh, I know! Well I suspect we’re about to find out either way. Unless…okay, erm, h-how do you feel about being alive? Is it-is that important? Is it okay with you if you die?”

 

“Absolutely fucking not!” 

 

“Okay, got it. So dying’s off the table here. J-That-That’s fine. Completely understandable, erm…”

 

“Wheatley, you’re just gonna have to deal with it!”

 

A group of zombies armed to the teeth had cornered a nearby villager. Naofumi grit his teeth as he saw one of the zombies walk up to the villager and wind up for a swing. 

 

“What-what’re you do-wait-wait-No,no,no,no, no-!” 

 

Clang!

 

“Ow! Aw-wait, did that actually hurt? Can you let him swing again? I just wanna see if it actually hurts. I just-I wasn’t ready that time, my-my mind was so focused, I think, erm, on perceiving pain-”

 

Raphtalia moved in for the kill, slicing into the zombie. She stopped and looked at the group. 

 

“Is everything okay?” 

 

“No, no, we’re fine. Everything’s fine-well, obviously, not everything but…you…you get what I’m saying. Uhh, while you’re here, can I ask you to do something real quick, just-just a test? Wheatley asked. “Uh…can you…swing your sword…and hit me?”

 

Raphtalia blinked. “H-hit you?”

 

Naofumi rolled his eyes and looked at his slave. “Do not do as he says. Go help the villagers evacuate into the cave.” 

 

She nodded. “Sorry Wheatley, Naofumi-sama commands me otherwise.”

 

“Oh, no, that-that’s alright. You can-go-go on, you got this,” Wheatley reassured her. 

 

Raphtalia smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. “You too!” she left with haste.

 

“Why’d you have to go and do that? It was just one swing! One swing. ” the shield asked him once she had disappeared. 

 

“You’re going to get plenty of chances to get hit, I promise you!” the Shield Hero deadpanned as he rushed over to a standoff between a group of villagers and zombies. “Get ready! I’m gonna use you to hit that one!” 

 

“Right! Got it!” 

 

Naofumi dashed into the fray, holding Wheatley in front of his face to shield himself from the bugs that flew in to attack. 

 

“Those hurt at all?” he asked as another bug bounced off of his shield.

 

“Nope, not a bit. Guess it was just me. Alright then, give it all you’ve got, let’s hit that sucker!”

 

The Shield Hero took a deep breath and, with all his might, smashed his shield right into the zombie. 

 

“Oooh! That looked like it hurt! That is just-wow! Do you do boxing?” 

 

“Listen up! I’ll keep these monsters distracted! The rest of you, head towards the cave! My partner will protect you there!” Naofumi told the villagers.

He took off, knowing that the zombies would be right behind him. A villager in front of him was lying on the floor, about to be cleaved in half by a zombie.

 

“Help! Please!” he cried in a panicked voice 

 

“Air Strike Shield!” 

A green light flashed in between the villager and the zombie, illuminating a huge green shield that blocked the zombie’s swing and made it stagger back. 

 

“Woah! What-what was that? Was that you? Why didn’t you tell me you could do that? Is that attached to the shield? Can I do it too?” 

 

The sound of a girl screaming drew their attention to said girl and her mother, the latter of which was shielding the former from approaching bugs. Naofumi dashed over. 

 

“Shield Prison!” 

 

A ball of golden shields held together by chains materialized around them, robbing the bugs of their prey and diverting their attention towards the Shield Hero. 

 

“Wow, well that really worked, didn’t it? Right, er…well, we’ve got them all focused on us. Now what?” Wheatley asked. 

 

“Now, we run!” Naofumi said, booking it towards a flaming shelter. 

 

“Sounds good! Oh! Watch your left!” 

 

Naofumi looked and saw a zombie rush towards him, ax-in-hand. He stopped and slid to a halt, turning to face the monster while backing up. The ax made contact, only for the zombie to be attacked by two dog heads. Naofumi smirked, switching back to Wheatley.

 

“Nice callout. You keep doing that, we’ll get along just fine.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean? Were we not getting along before?” 

The Shield Hero slid into the shelter under two burning sticks, nabbing one of them and dashing back out. 

 

“Hey, you stupid zombies! Over here!” he yelled, swinging it around like a torch.

 

“Right! He’s coming in fast!”

 

Naofumi swerved around, waving the torch in front. The bug wavered, unable to tolerate the heat. Naofumi seized on the opportunity, grabbing it by its thorax and throwing it at the flaming building. 

 

“Two more-no wait, three more-no wait, okay, that’s two, four, six, eight, ten, damnit, no, I counted three of them as two. Where was I at?” 

 

“Let’s just get out of here!” Naofumi yelled.

 

The Shield Hero booked it to the center of the village and stopped. From every corner of the village, zombies and bugs came, surrounding the center and them within it.

 

"Shit...it's no use..." he cursed.

 

“Look, Nafa-Nao-aw, for-look can I just call you Nate or something?” 

 

“Sure, whatever.”

 

“Alright, look, Nate, I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t like our chances. Now, you know that massive thing that I said was inside of this shield that I was trying to figure out? From what I can tell, whatever it is is so incredibly massive that it will either kill us all, or…it may help us defeat the Wave. Either way, I figure it’s a win-win for us. So…whaddya say? Can I take a gamble here?” 

 

Naofumi looked around in despair, trying to find any reason to say no. But as he stared down the horde of monsters, the desperation grew. 

 

Why the hell am I doing this? Why do I care about these people? They want me dead, well fine!

 

“Do it, Wheatley.”

 

“Alright. Here goes nothing...” 

 

A spark erupted from Wheatley. The text APERTURE SCIENCE once again appeared in Naofumi’s vision with the cut circle. The world around him turned white.

 

He closed his eyes from the brightness. When he opened them, instead of him and Wheatley standing in the middle of a village square, they were standing in an enclosed room, just him and Wheatley. There was no screaming, no clanging of steel, no monsters to be seen. Just him, Wheatley, and a small, grayish-white room. A hum permeated the room, a hum that denoted something Naofumi knew this world had nothing of. Advanced technology.

“What…what happened? What did you do?!” Naofumi demanded.

 

“I…I recognize this place…” Wheatley said. “It’s a test chamber.”

 

“Test…chamber?” Naofumi repeated. 

 

A high pitch beep played over what seemed to be an intercom. 

“Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Magical Testing Initiative. My name is Cave Johnson, Founder and CEO of Aperture Science,” a male voice said.

“Cave Johnson!” Wheatley said. “Wh-that’s-he was the owner of the company that built me! But he’s been dead for years!”

“Must be pre recorded then,” Naofumi remarked.

 

“In the event one of our many devices here at Aperture is sent away on a little adventure, we’ve decided to install a number of different gizmos tailored towards scenarios that may play out in an attempt to find out more about where they are. You’re scenario number 284B! Out of…10,000. Yeah…oh boy…well the good news is, the eggheads screwed up and switched around the order of these, so this is actually the first that was on my list of things to talk about. So congratulations, 284B! You’re getting the most enthusiastic version of me. If you’re allergic to or hate enthusiasm, then…well…sucks to be you.” 

The sound of flipping pages could be heard. 

“Okay, Scenario 284B: Aperture Device Stuck Inside of A Magical Weapon. Oooh! I remember this one, this was a real doozy for the eggheads to figure out. Actually had to solve the mystery of life and destiny. Spoiler alert: It’s twelve. And two-quarters. Anywho, before you go banging on the walls and begging to be let out, let me give you some respite: We’re not just going to keep you in here forever. As a matter of fact, if all goes according to plan, you’ll be outta here in no time.”


“Now, as you may be aware, there’s something trapped inside your weapon. Maybe you don’t know what it is. Maybe you don’t know what to do with it. Maybe you’re asking yourself, ‘can I get it out?’ Let me answer your question with a question: How would you like your magical weapon to be even better? I’m talking way better than whatever the hell that pipsqueak fairy or centaur that smells like a garbage truck that drove into a river gave you. ” 

 

“But first, you’re gonna have to prove your worth. This stuff is expensive, and I’m not just going to hand it out to some mouth-breather because he couldn’t beat the big bad dragon and now needs someone to tell him what his purpose in life is! This ain’t a charity! We’re Aperture Science, not Aperture Hold My Hand While I Change My Tighty-Whities Because The Sight of My Own You-Know-What is Enough to Make Me Cry! Anyways, just solve this test, and we’ll give you something nice.”

 

Naofumi flattened his lip. 

 

“Okay…listen, I know these tests, I know everything about them. Just go through that door there, and I’ll take a look around and tell you what the solution is,” Wheatley said. 

 

Naofumi raised an eyebrow at his shield, before slowly walking towards the circular cutaway that slid open to reveal the next room. He barely caught a glimpse of a red light before Wheatley yelped. A siren of some kind sounded and Naofumi put his shield up instinctively, just in time to catch…

 

“Bullets?!” he yelled. “They’re firing bullets at us!” 

 

“Of course they’re firing bullets! They’re turrets! What else would they be firing?” Wheatley shouted.

 

He managed to get behind cover, a small wall of glass that allowed him to see what the test chamber had in store for him. The room was split into two halves, divided by a pool of water Naofumi decided was probably not worth taking a dip in. On one side, his side, there was a big red button on the floor, with a blue light leading up to the wall over to the other side. 

 

“I’m guessing that red button controls something?” he asked. 

 

“Yes, exactly,” Wheatley said. “In order to activate it you need-AAARRGH! Aw, come on! Alright, look, it won’t let me give you hints. Just…you seem smart enough, you’ll figure it out.” 

 

So this is some type of puzzle then, huh? 

 

Naofumi looked around the room more. There was some sort of laser coming down from the ceiling on his side. On the other side, the turrets stared him down with their laser eyes, ready to turn him into Swiss cheese. 

 

“I have to destroy them…right?” he said to himself out loud. “If I kill the turrets, is that it? No…there’s more…the button…I have to find a way to get across…” 

 

Wheatley hummed. “Sorry mate, lips are sealed…though…obviously not literally. Don’t have lips. Don’t really see the fuss over ‘em, they’re just…honestly just seems like a hassle. I mean, you’ve got to apply chapstick to make it so they don’t dry up? What kind of stupid requirement is that? They can’t just be wet on their own?” 

 

“Wheatley…” Naofumi said. “I…I can’t believe I’m about to say this…but we need the Reflection Shield.” 

 

“The Reflection Shield?” Wheatley asked. “What for-Oh-oh! Brilliant! Yes! Of course, let me just do…this!” 

 

The shield flashed blue and the mirror appeared on his arm. 

 

“Okay…let’s hope this works…”

 

Without further hesitation, he ran out to the giant laser. 

 

“There you are!” 

 

“Target acquired!” 

 

The creepy, singsong voice of the turrets put him at unease, almost as much as their bullets did flying past him. He quickly slid to a halt and placed the shield under the laser. To his joyful surprise, the shield redirected the laser upwards. Ever so carefully, he redirected it towards the turrets, which burst into flame upon being touched by it, before exploding. 

 

He pumped his fist in the air. “Yes! I did it!” 

Slowly, he removed his shield from the laser. 

 

“Okay…now…how do I get across?” he said. “The button needs something to stand on it, but…what?” 

 

He looked above him. Beside the glass wall, a glass cylinder filled with something inside stuck out of the ceiling. The thing inside appeared to be a box. There was some kind of door on the bottom of it, but it appeared to be closed, with no clear way to open it.

 

“The box…that’s got to be it…but how…”

 

Naofumi turned back to the laser. “I still need to use it somehow…”

 

I need to finish this fast and get back to the village…there’s no telling what’s happened while I’ve been standing here.

 

As if to answer his concerns, the intercom buzzed and Cave Johnson’s late voice played once more.

 

“Just a heads-up, 284b, lab boys wanted me to tell you that theoretically, the pocket dimension created via the software we installed on your device is not linked with the time from whatever other dimension you came from. So, don’t worry if you were busy helping Rapunzel or whatever, she’s still there. Can’t really see the appeal of 3-story-long hair, but whatever floats your boat I guess. ”

 

Huh…how convenient. But still, probably best not to take too long.

 

He looked to the other side again. There was a black receptacle of some sort, connected via the same blue line over the ceiling to the other side…right up to the glass cylinder holding the box.

 

“Alright…let’s try…” he began, walking back over to the laser. “...this!” 

 

He placed the Reflection Shield again under the laser, redirecting it to the receptacle. The blue dots lighted up orange, and the dispenser opened, allowing the box to drop to the floor. 

 

“Great! And then…place this…” he said, picking the box up, which was surprisingly light for its size, “On this!”

 

He placed the box on the big red button, watching with a smirk as it depressed. The blue lights coming from the button turned orange, and the door opened. Two large glass platforms emerged from the water, giving Naofumi and his shield a path to the other side. 

 

“Wait, what? How did you-what the-Uhm…uhh…I mean…uh…v-very good! I knew you would figure it out! A shame I couldn’t have told you the solution myself…which I totally knew…”

Naofumi went through the door, which was proceeded by a hallway that led to some sort of blue light that was projected from both sides, making it so that Naofumi would be forced to walk through it if he wanted to proceed. The intercom buzzed again. 

 

“Please note the Aperture Science Emancipation Grill in front of you. This isn’t a trick or some kind of deadly laser, it’s just to make sure nothing in the test travels to the great beyond with you back home. That being said, nice work there, 284b! If I could meet you I’d hire you! You’d make an excellent scientist! But, unfortunately, the laws of time and space make that physically impossible. So here’s something else as a little reward for completing the test. Hope you put it to good use, just…don’t eat it or anything…actually that’s a good point. Do not eat or put your mouth on anything in this room. I don’t care what you smell or taste, it’s not for human consumption.” 

Upon crossing the Emancipation Grill, Naofumi descended some metal steps before being greeted with a room with an elevator in it, the door ajar for him to enter. 

 

“Well…nothing else left to do…” he said. 

 

The door closed, and the elevator descended. In moments, his vision was replaced with blinding white again. When he closed his eyes and opened them next, he was back in the village, surrounded by zombies and bugs. 

 

“Oooh! Woah! Did you see that?” Wheatley asked. 

 

“That we got teleported back?” Naofumi replied.

 

“No, it’s saying we got a new shield!” Wheatley said.

 

“What? I don’t see anything?” 

 

“Well I can! Shall we try it?” 

 

Naofumi sighed. “Don’t see anything else working at this point. Go for it.” 

 

“Right, here goes!” 

 

Wheatley glowed blue, the shield morphed into something circular, something mechanical, something…white.

 

“...No way…”

 

“Target acquired.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Raphtalia rushed back to the village, sword drawn. She knew she should get the villagers evacuated, but leaving the Shield Hero and Wheatley alone in that village did not sit well with her. And besides, the villagers seemed to have made up their minds and decided fighting was more to their liking than running away, something Raphtalia admired greatly. If only…her village…was…

 

No. Don’t think of them like that. They had no idea what was coming.

 

A shout of some kind made her ears perk up. It was her master, no doubt.

 

He must be in distress! 

 

“AAAAHHHHHAAAHAAA!” 

 

He’s dying! NO! NOT HIM! You can’t let him die!

 

With fear in her heart she quickened her pace, sprinting into the village. A group of zombies stood between her and the center, but before she could act, bursts of red erupted from their backsides, and they fell to the floor dead. 

 

“Target acquired!” a sing-song voice called out.

 

Over the carnage, her master, the Shield Hero, stood, smiling, mouth hanging open, teeth showing, yelling a battle cry as he held his shield up to a group of bugs. His shield emitted a strange red light that glazed over a bug, before letting off a burst of some kind that cut down the bugs in a fashion she never could have imagined. 

 

“Yeah, take that you pest!” Wheatley yelled. 

 

“Hell yeah! Best shield ever!” 

 

More bugs hit the floor, and Raphtalia stood there with a smile. 

 

Well now…they seem to be finally getting along.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 4: Greater Than or Equal To

“Target acquired!” 

 

BRAKAKAKAKA!

 

“Yeah! Get some!” Naofumi cheered as the next zombie fell to the floor in a heap. 

 

“How much is that now? 30?” Wheatley asked.

 

“Is it 30? I thought it was closer to 20.”

 

“Well hang on…that…that was five just now wasn’t it?” Wheatley said. 

 

“I dunno, I wasn’t really counting.”

 

“Me neither…tell you what, let’s just split the difference…and call it at least two hundred. How’s that sound?” 

 

Naofumi chuckled. “Alright, sounds good.”

 

The sound of steel slicing drew their attention to Raphtalia, who’d just finished off another bug. 

 

“Aw, look at that, look at that, isn’t she doing such a bang-up job? You know we ought to be keeping count for her too, she’s probably got more than us!” 

 

“I dunno…I think that might make things competitive…I’d rather not have that kind of baggage in the party.” 

 

“Fair enough, yeah thats…yeah that would just make things weird. Right, what’s next?” 

 

Naofumi scratched his head and looked around. There were definitely more coming, but thanks to the newly acquired Turret Shield, courtesy of the mysterious Aperture Science, a company that Wheatley is-or rather- was a part of, their numbers thinned. 

 

Heh. Why don’t you see me now, Motoyasu. Am I still weak? Am I holding you back, Ren?

 

“Still more coming…shouldn’t be much of an issue for long though,” Naofumi said. “Man, I don’t know why I didn’t agree to this earlier!” 

 

“Ah, you know what mate, that’s alright! To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have trusted it either, but…y’know, you kinda seemed like you were down in the dumps earlier.”

 

Naofumi frowned and sighed. “Yeah…there’s just been a lot of stuff on my plate.”

 

“Been there.”

Suddenly, from the ground flew up several flaming projectiles and combined together in the sky. 

 

“What’s that?” Naofumi asked. 

 

“Fireworks…? No, no, that wouldn’t make sense. I-” 

 

“Raphtalia!” The Shield Hero grabbed his slave, covering her with his cape and placing his shield up. 

 

“Woah, what? What-What’s happening?” Wheatley asked. “Are we being attacked? Is it the-oh no! Incoming!”

 

The villagers scrambled away to dodge the incoming volley of fire. 

 

Naofumi closed his eyes…

 

And when he opened them, he was standing in a room of white again. 

 

He raised an eyebrow. “Huh? What?”

 

“What?” Wheatley repeated. “We’re…back here?”

 

The intercom buzzed. 

 

“Welcome back, 284b! It’s me again, your friend and close confidant-in memory of course-Cave Johnson. If you’re hearing this it means the software inside your weapon says you’ve made progress, which means you get another test in exchange for more goodies!” 

 

“Again?” Naofumi asked. “He said I made progress…what kind of progress?” 

 

He pulled up his stats screen. “Well…I just hit level 20…so…is that it?” 

“Federal regulations state that we have to inform all test subjects, regardless of age, sex, race, national origin, or dimensional pocket of reality of any side effects that may occur while testing or in the field. For you, 284b, those side effects could be…uhh…Exploding Head Syndrome…not what it sounds like, it’s just a sleeping disorder. And…that’s about it. Well, worst case scenario, you might wanna take some melatonin supplements or something. Let me tell you, I took a look over at Scenario 3, Aperture Device Stuck Inside of Magical Necklace, that person is not going to be needing a necklace. They’re gonna be needing a pacemaker. Fast.”

 

“Would’ve been good to know at the first test,” Naofumi mumbled.

 

“Oh, i-it’s probably fine, probably nothing to worry about. I mean, Cave’s been dead for…well quite a bit actually. I mean, the chances that those things haven’t been ironed out by now are…y’know what, actually, uhh…gonna rescind that because there hasn’t really been any humans working at Aperture for some time now so…not really one for me to judge. But I mean, he is right, that’s pretty lucky, and…look at it this way:  What does a good night’s sleep mean next to the fate of the bloody world?”

 

“I suppose not much…” Naofumi said. “Though it’s easy for you to say, you don’t need sleep.”

 

There was another door, the same-looking door as before. 

 

“Well, shall we?” Wheatley asked. 

 

Naofumi put a hand to his chin. “I guess so…Remember, we’ve got to be in the same position we were before, otherwise Raphtalia will get hit by the fireballs.”

 

“Right, got it.” 

 

He folded his lip, looking at the strange door before letting it open. He stopped, holding up his shield to his side, before running in and turning the corners, shield up to deflect anything that came his way. 

 

Feeling nothing bouncing off of his shield quite yet, he put it down and examined the room. It was a fairly large room, not as large as the first one, but still enough that the ceiling was high above. In front of him was a big red button, and a giant blue emancipation grill, which he remembered from the first test. To his right was another button, and the exit door. The button on the right was almost certainly what opened the exit door. He looked back to the emancipation grill.

 

“I remember these…they make it so we can’t bring stuff in here back with us…but why is it out here?” 

 

Wheatley hummed. “Sorry mate, no hints.” 

 

“You don’t even know the solution, do you?”

 

“Not a clue. Good luck!”

 

Behind the emancipation grill, which sectioned off a corner of the room so that nothing could enter without going through it, there was a small red button on a pedestal next to one of the cube dispensers from before. The blue trail of lights trailing from the button indicated it was the trigger for the dispenser. 

 

He passed by the emancipation grill, looking around before tapping on the button. The dispenser opened, and the cube dropped down. 

 

“Well…I guess that’s that then.” he said, picking the cube up. “Let’s go get that button ope-”

 

He was cut off as when he attempted to pass through the emancipation grill, the cube instantly vaporized.

 

“What? Wha-Wait a minute, I thought this was just so we couldn’t bring it back with us!” Naofumi asked. “So it just vaporizes anything that’s not us?”

 

“Yeah, about that, er...do you feel anything running down the back of your neck? Or do you taste blood in your mouth?”

 

“No, why?”

 

“No reason.”

 

“Are these things dangerous?” Naofumi asked.

 

“Sorry, can’t give hints.”

 

“Piss off, Wheatley!”

 

“Aw, don’t be a grump, just solve the bloody test!”

 

Naofumi re-entered the cornered-off section. “If I can’t bring anything through the grill, how the hell am I meant to…” 

 

He turned back to the first button. “Wait…”

 

Exiting the cornered section, he followed a trail from the first button to the grill.

 

“Of course! This must turn it off!” 

 

He stepped on the button, and as he hoped, the emancipation grill dissipated. But as soon as he stepped off, it turned back on. 

 

“Hmm…So I need to pull it towards me…alright.”

 

The Shield Hero switched to his Rope Shield, and with a heavy under-armed toss, threw a rope right at the cube. The rope fit sideways around it, tying itself snugly around. With a mighty tug, Naofumi pulled it out of the corner, past where the emancipation grills would be if they were turned on again. 

 

“Alright. Well…that was…I dunno if I’m starting to enjoy this, or if it’s just the part of getting another cool shield that makes me like this stuff,” Naofumi said. 

 

“Yeah, you know, honestly I could do without the tests…it’s just…I mean, I get what Cave was going for when he said not just any old bloke should get his hands on this stuff, but I mean, let’s be honest: If you’ve figured out that you’re wielding a magical weapon, are you really that stupid?” 

 

“Wheatley, you’ve yet to meet Motoyasu,” Naofumi replied.

 

“But…we did. He’s the…the…um…what-what was it he had…um…a halberd? No, no, I don’t think that was it…”

 

“He’s the Spear Hero.” 

 

“Right! Right! Yes! I did meet him…er…lovely gentleman, but he should probably fire his hair stylist. Or hire one, either-or.”

 

“That’s what he wants people to think. In reality, he’s just a child playing at war,” Naofumi replied. “They all are. They all think this is a joke. But this isn’t. It’s life or death.” 

 

“You know you say that, and yet, just minutes ago we were having the time of our lives,” Wheatley said. 

 

“Well, having power like this…it’s not something you can just wield with no regard for others. Although I will admit it was nice to have something I could fight back with for once,” Naofumi stated as they entered the elevator. “Alright. Let’s get ready. Those fireballs are going to come down on us.”

 

He closed his eyes, and upon opening them, the sight of the burning Lute Village greeted his eyes once more. 

 

“Oh! This ought to help!” Wheatley said. 

 

“What?” Naofumi asked. 

 

“This!” 

 

Wheatley glowed blue, and the shield morphed again into a small white ring, about the size of the Rope Shield. The ring was filled by an emancipation grill, giving the shield a light-bluish hue. 

 

“Emancipation Grill!” Wheatley exclaimed. Around them formed a bunch of the light-blue grills, keeping them in a neat box. The fireballs rained down, the ones that touched the grills evaporating into nothingness. 

 

“W-wow! Is this your doing, Wheatley?” Raphtalia asked. 

 

“Well, sort of…” Wheatley replied. “It’s uhh…you know what, I think it’s best if we explain later, uhh…given the fact that we are being shot at with fireballs.”

 

“R-right.” 

 

The fireballs died down, and the emancipation grills dissipated.

 

“Nice. So you can make those at any point?” 

 

“Yep. Any size too. It’s more kind of a…mental thing. It’s like, I picture it there, and then it’s there. What was with the fireballs, by the way? Are we going to face some kind of fire monster? Best lure it to a pond or lake, that’s what I’m thinking.” 

 

A boastful laugh filled the air, and the three looked towards the village road to see several of the royal knights making their way in. 

 

“That did wonders! They’re all burned to ashes!” the lead knight said proudly. He stopped, seeing Naofumi. “The Shield Hero? You’re quite tough.” 

 

Naofumi grit his teeth. “They didn’t even care that we were here?” he muttered under his breath. 

 

From under his cloak, an enraged Raphtalia lunged at the knights, her sword making contact with the lead knight’s sword. 

 

“Did you do this knowing Naofumi-sama and Wheatley were here? Answer truthfully!”

 

“Draw your swords!” The lead knight ordered his men. Raphtalia stepped back towards Naofumi. “Are you with the Shield Hero?”

 

“I am Naofumi-sama’s sword. I will not tolerate anyone disrespecting him in my presence.”

“Aw, what? Wait a minute, was it them? They made those fireballs?” Wheatley asked, to which Raphtalia turned to him and nodded. “What’re you doing, you lot? You could’ve killed us! A-And furthermore, if you hadn’t noticed, this place does not need more fire added to the mix, alright? There was enough fire here before you showed up, now there's just…an extraordinary amount of fire here.”

 

“The hell are you? When did the Legendary Weapons speak?” 

 

“Wheatley is Naofumi-sama’s Shield. It is only by his power that Naofumi-sama survived! You should be grateful he did, for if he had not, I would certainly be killing you by now!”

“You think you can threaten and point your blade at the royal knights you damned demi-human?” 

 

“What kind of a knight neglects the people he is sworn to defend?” 

 

“Yeah, that’s right! Shame on you, you…uh…I-I had something! I had it cooked up in my head! What-what was it? Oh, bloody hell, forget it. Erm, yeah. You all are…not good at your jobs. There. That oughta…set them straight.”

 

“Wheatley, Raphtalia, that’s enough.”

 

“But…”

“Just drop it.” 

 

“That’s right, do as your master says, and we won’t have to make any mistakes here.” 

 

“You mean any more mistakes, because-let’s be honest here-you already made one.”

 

“Wheatley, shut up.”

 

Naofumi crossed his arms. “Well then, I guess I could just sit back and watch you all become monster chow.”

 

The shadows of said monsters loomed over the knights, they turned around with fear in their hearts. 

 

“Do not falter! Get in formation!” the leader shouted. A massive zombie towered over him, preparing to strike.

 

“Target acquired!” 

 

BRAKAKAKAKAKA!

 

The monster staggered back from the assault, holes of blood pouring from its armor. 

 

“Raphtalia!”

 

“Right!”

 

The demi-human warrior ran in, swinging at the monster’s throat, causing it to topple over and bleed out.

 

“Listen! We’ll hold them off enough for you to get into formation!” the Shield Hero told the knights.

 

“Uhhh, look, Nate. I’m gonna be honest here,” Wheatley muttered so that Naofumi could hear him but not the knights. “Do we really need them? I mean, I thought we were doing fine on our own.” 

 

“As if they’d leave us alone if we asked.”

 

“Right, right. Erm…well…do you remember what the guy said about uh…mistakes?” he asked as they fought alongside Raphtalia.

 

“Wheatley, please don’t be suggesting what I think you are.”

 

“I’m not suggesting anything! Nothing-nothing suggesting! Not even-not even a word of suggestion here! But…let’s put it this way, there’s been a lot of casualties probably, most definitely, and they are not going to get any lower at this rate.”

 

“You know something, Wheatley? It’s bad enough that everyone in this damned kingdom thinks I’m the worst thing that’s happened to them next to the Wave. So what I don’t need right now is MY OWN SHIELD TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO MURDER PEOPLE!”

 

…

 

“So then that’s a no, I take it?”

 

“Yes it fucking is.”

 

“Right! Got it! Yeah, that was…um…yeah probably not one of my best ideas but-Oh, look, they’re leaving anyways!”

 

Naofumi looked behind him and saw that he was speaking a truism. The lead knight and most of his men were marching away, whilst a smaller but substantial force remained. 

 

“Great! You made me scare them off!” he chided his shield.

 

“Wha-I did not! And even if I did, it’s not like they were helping to begin with!” 

 

Naofumi cringed. “Hate to say it, but good point. Hey, get that guy, will you?” 

 

“Sure thing!” 

 

The Turret Shield appeared in place of Wheatley. 

 

“Target acquired!” it hummed, opening its guns up, preparing to shred the zombie like it was paper. 

 

A sword cut through it before it could fire, and Wheatley disengaged the turret’s targeting system, reverting back to his form. 

 

A young knight stood to the side, his sword thrusted into the zombie. 

 

“We’ll fight for the village, even if they won’t.”

 

Naofumi gave a nod. “Glad to hear it.” 

 

Suddenly, the sky cleared up. The monsters stopped coming. 

 

“Oh…alright then. I guess we win? …Right? Do we? I’m not-I’m not jinxing it am I? We did win?”

 

“Seems like it,” the Shield Hero replied. 

 

They cleared out the remaining monsters with ease, then set to work searching for lost villagers and treating them with the medicine Naofumi could make thanks to his shield’s abilities, which Wheatley found quite enticing. 

 

“So just to be clear…you can just pick up some leaves, do some fancy sort of wave or whatever with the shield…and it instantly becomes medicine?” 

 

“Well it’s a bit more complicated than that but yes,” Naofumi replied. 

 

“And…how many people have you tested it on?” 

 

“Raphtalia took it, she had a sickness of some sort from before,” he explained. 

 

“Right…and-just to clarify-she’s not human, correct?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Wheatley paused, seemingly contemplating the Shield Hero’s response, before speaking again.

 

“Well! Erm…I’m not sure how many FDA regulations that breaks-probably all of them-but, uhh… the good news is, there’s nobody here to put us in jail, so…at least that isn’t an issue!” 

 

“Wheatley…what are you talking about?” Naofumi asked. 

 

“Well, let’s be honest, you’ve grounded up leaves in a bottle and called it medicine, your only sample size is a single person who’s not a human…and now you want to use it on humans.”

 

“Wha-the shield said it was medicine! You’re the shield!” Naofumi retorted. 

 

“I’m my part of the shield,” Wheatley clarified. “All the stuff that you had before I can’t control, except see through them and talk. The Turret Shield and the Emancipation Grill Shield I can control.”

 

“But you were able to see everything before, surely you must’ve seen that I can make medicine!” 

 

“Even if I did, why would I trust it? It’s a shield! It doesn’t have a bloody medical degree!” 

 

“It’s a magical fucking weapon!” 

 

“Exactly! What does it know about medicine? I would’ve understanded if it was a magical scalpel or even a bonesaw, but a shield?! And by the way, we need to talk about your use of profanity, it’s really unnecessary.”

 

“I will goddamn speak however the fuck I want!” 

 

“Geez!”

 

Naofumi turned to look at Raphtalia, with an annoyed expression on her face. 

 

“I really thought you two were getting along finally,” she said. “But here you are, arguing and bickering again!” 

 

“Who says we’re not getting along?” Wheatley asked. 

 

“Wheatley, shut up,” Naofumi commanded. “Raphtalia, how are rescue efforts going? Did we get everyone that’s alive?”

 

“Yes,” Raphtalia said, looking off to the side. Naofumi followed her gaze to two weeping children looking at a bushel of flowers over a wooden box. 

 

“I see…” he murmured in understanding. 

 

“Oh, they’ll be fine. Probably. I mean, isn’t the…the best of situations…being an orphan. But I know someone who turned out okay.”

 

“I was orphaned too,” Raphtalia said.

 

“You were?” Wheatley asked. 

 

“Yeah…I…” she stopped, her eyes watered and her hands shook. Naofumi moved to embrace her, as tears spilled. “I…”

 

“You did good, Raphtalia,” Naofumi said. “Because of you, there are kids who will not be orphans.” 

 

Again, Wheatley felt the same feeling he felt when the Wave was beginning. A feeling of being small, of being next-to-nothing compared to the seriousness of the world around him, something he only remembered feeling once before being trapped in the shield. He was always used to being out of the limelight, always used to being just another cog in the machine that was Aperture. And yet…people were saved because of them.

 

What did that mean? What was he now? Who was he now?

 

But then Naofumi pulled away, and the sun shone over Raphtalia once more, as she wiped away her tears and smiled at Wheatley.

 

“You too, Wheatley!”

 

“H-uh, wha-Hm?”

 

“You fought well, and you saved us from the fireballs,” she said.

 

“I…right…yes, I…I remember that. That was um-”

 

“I knew that you would help us,” she continued. “I will remember this day, and though you are not Naofumi-sama, I shall consider you my brother-in-arms and friend, until the day I die.” 

 

Wheatley could not speak. All he could do was stare at her, perplexed as to this feeling. Finally, he mustered something, betraying his composure. 

 

“R-really?” 

 

“Of course. After all, you are his Shield, and I his Sword,” Raphtalia said, smiling even brighter than before. “And I will always believe in you, no matter what.”

 

For a brief second, his vision flashed. Instead of standing on the outskirts of the village, he was inside an overgrown, gray room, looking upon a woman, dressed in orange sweatpants and a white tank top. 

 

And then it returned, and in the woman’s place stood Raphtalia, her hair now flowing with the wind as she looked upon him. 

 

“Right then…I…I suppose it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t do the same for you, would it?”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Notes:

Just wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone for reading and whatnot. It's been a while since I did an anime/manga crossover, and I'm considering migrating some of my old stuff from FF to here to finish.

Chapter 5: The Duel

“I’ve gotta say, this is a little crowded for my tastes.”

 

Naofumi nodded, crossing his arms and leaning against the window, observing the crowd with a glare. “Yeah…I agree.”

 

This is such a snob-fest…none of these jokers did shit. 

 

He turned his attention to his shield. Wheatley had proven himself as a valuable ally, however annoying he was to listen to, which made him a degree more tolerable than Motoyasu. He wondered how long that would last if he heard the rumors about him. Raphtalia would probably be even more disgusted. 

 

All it took was one word from that bitch and the entirety of the kingdom believed her. For whatever reason Naofumi hadn’t understood yet, but it seemed to permeate with every person he knew, even the blacksmith believed it. And all it would take is one word from any of them to Raphtalia or Wheatley, and they would soon join the rest of the kingdom in hating him.

 

What would he do then? What could he do then? It would not be best to have someone who hated him fighting alongside him, but without Raphtalia, Naofumi could not do anything. And Wheatley, Wheatley would be stuck to his arm for the rest of his life. Hating him too. 

 

And so he waited day-in-day-out for the day to come, where Raphtalia would enter their shared inn room and confront him about what he supposedly did. Wheatley would overhear it and join her. He would try to explain it, try to tell them that they were the real snakes, they were the demons. 

 

But nobody had listened to him before. Why would anyone listen to him now?

 

He could picture their responses in his head:

 

I hate you master! How could you do such a horrible thing to that woman?!

 

Agreed! I am sickened by this!

“Erm…you good there, Nate?” 

 

Naofumi snapped out of his thoughts and blinked. “Hm?”

 

“I could uhh…I can feel your arm shaking,” Wheatley said with a nervous chuckle. “Kinda…giving me motion sickness, if I’m being honest. Didn’t even know I could get motion sickness.”

 

Naofumi looked down and saw that his hands were balled up and indeed shaking. He brought one of them up to place over his forehead. 

 

“I’m fine.” 

 

“...are you sure? Y’know, if it’s something you’d rather discuss without people, I understand.”

 

“Nah, just…just don’t worry about it, Wheatley.”

 

“Alright then…so…uh…not to rush along the festivities, but…when are we leaving?” 

 

Naofumi sighed and stood up off the window. “When we get my reward from the king. Don’t worry, I want to get out of here too.”

 

All it took was that bitch whispering in his slave’s ear, and that was it. She would join the rest of them in despising him. 

 

“So…um…I just realized I haven’t a clue where we are, I mean I know you said you were from Japan, and that we’re not in Japan, but I still don’t really know where “here” is.”

 

Naofumi rubbed his hands together in preparation to explain. 

 

“Alright so…this place is called Melromarc. It’s a kingdom, ruled by the king I presume…I got here about a month ago, just transported here out of nowhere. One minute I’m in a library, the next, boom , I’m here. Those guys,” he said, pointing to Ren, Itsuki, and Motoyasu, the latter of which was being flirted with by some lady. “They came here with me. All from different alternate realities of their own. The whole idea is that we’re supposed to be the next line of these legendary heroes that saved the world from the Waves before.”

 

“I see…” Wheatley said. 

 

Naofumi raised an eyebrow. “How did you get here?”

 

“Same device I imagine, although for me it was probably unintentional…erm, I fell into a black hole.” 

 

“A black hole?” Naofumi repeated. “H-how did you survive?” 

 

“I have absolutely no idea, mate, only-”

 

“Naofumi-sama! Wheatley!”

 

“Hello!” Wheatley said. “Enjoying the party, are we?” 

 

His slave smiled at his shield. “I am! The food here looks heavenly!”

 

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure it does!” Wheatley replied. 

 

“Have as much as you want,” Naofumi replied. “You earned it.”

 

“Nate, have you lost your bloody mind?” Wheatley asked incredulously. 

 

Naofumi raised an eyebrow. “What is it this time?”

 

“Look, forget what I said about shield-medicine, alright, there is no way these people wash their hands. Or their food. Or their-”

 

His hand not carrying his shield found itself slapped on his forehead for what seemed like the gazillionth time. 

 

“Wheatley, it’s fine. I’ve eaten food since coming here, and I’m not dead yet,” the Shield Hero reassured his shield.

 

“Right… yet. You know, the Romans used to put lead in their wine. Just a thought. ” 

 

“I’ve been here for at least a month. If there was lead in the wine, it would’ve taken effect at least a week ago.”

 

“Arsenic? Copper? Mercury?” 

 

“Shut up, Wheatley. Raphtalia, eat whatever you’d like.”

 

“Aren’t you hungry as well, Naofumi-sama?” 

 

Naofumi scratched his head. “I-uh…I’ll-”

 

“You know what people do on empty stomachs, right? They get cranky!” she said. “Here, have some of this cake!” 

 

Naofumi reluctantly took the fork that she handed to him and stabbed a small cube off of it. Shakily, he placed it into his mouth and chewed. He really felt he shouldn’t. To him, it symbolized him giving in to the pompousness of the feast. To gorge himself while those of Lute Village struggled to rebuild after the Wave.

 

Do they have enough to eat? What is on their tables tonight? 

 

He looked at Raphtalia, who had an expectant smile. 

 

“It tastes like nothing.” 

 

And of course that wiped her smile away. Of course he had to go and say the worst thing possible. Because that was just who he was now.

 

“Just…uh…probably worth noting, being cranky is also a symptom of heavy metal poisoning…as is lack of taste.”

 

Scratch that, Wheatley had to say the worst thing possible. Because he was an idiot.

 

“Naofumi! Duel me, right now!” 

 

Scratch that, Motoyasu had to say the worst thing possible. Because he was an even bigger idiot.

 

“Duel you? Why?” 

 

“Because she’s your slave!” Motoyasu said with an accusing finger. “If I win, you must free her!”

 

“Wait a minute, what?” Wheatley asked, confused. “That-that doesn’t sound right, we pay her, don’t we?”

 

Shit, he didn’t know. Naofumi felt his world slowly beginning to collapse, between Wheatley discovering what Raphtalia truly was to him, Motoyasu challenging him to a duel that could very well end in his first and only other person in this world who he trusted, and the gleeful smile on Malty’s face that signified she orchestrated this whole thing. 

 

“Not really, no,” Naofumi said truthfully. There was no point in hiding it. Denying the truth would only make it worse. It was better to rip the bandaid off than slowly peel it and have the pain linger.

 

“Oh. Well, unpaid internship, then! W-with healthcare benefits. And, who knows? Maybe down the line we can negotiate a 401k!” 

 

“No, Wheatley. Motoyasu’s right. I bought her from a slaver.”

 

“No, no! She-she’s not a slave, don’t-don’t listen to him! He…uh…he means to say we acquired her services through a third-party contractor…uh…for an unpaid internship,” Wheatley interjected, before whispering to Naofumi, “Oi! What are you doing?! I’m trying to help you out here, ever heard of plausible deniability?” 

 

“The hell am I denying? He already knows I bought her as a slave!” Naofumi whispered back. 

 

“That doesn’t mean you bloody admit to it! Have you never been on jury duty or seen those lawyer shows?”

 

“Does this look like a fucking courtroom to you?!”

 

“Oi! Naofumi!” Motoyasu said. “Quit…talking to your shield… God , that sounds stupid.” 

 

“Not as stupid as you wanting me to wager my only partner over a fight I have no chance of winning,” Naofumi replied. “I refuse.”

 

“Hmmph!” 

 

The group turned to see Malty standing beside the King. The wrinkles on his face, which Naofumi once attributed to wisdom, now represented to the Shield Hero an ugliness, cursed to him by time for his bitter nature. 

 

“How dishonorable, though not unexpected from the Devil of the Shield. And I do mean so quite literally, isn’t that right, demon?” 

 

Naofumi squinted in confusion. “What? Are you calling me a demon?”

 

The King shook his head no, pointing instead to the blue circle stuck to his arm. “That… thing! I understand it all now. Whatever it is, it’s corrupted you, Shield Hero. Turned you into what you are now.”

 

“How do you figure?” 

 

“The captain of the Royal Knights spoke to me. He said he heard it trying to convince you to kill him and all of his comrades during the Wave,” the King replied. 

 

“I have a name, you know!” Wheatley declared. “And, also, completely out of context! Me and my partner were discussing…um…a contingency, in case one of your knights-”

 

Whatever else Wheatley was about to spit out was muffled by Naofumi covering his shield with his cloak. 

 

“Nothing we say will matter to you, will it?” he asked of the King. “You’ve already made up your mind that this is truth, haven’t you?” 

 

“I have. Your words are poison, Shield Hero, as are your actions. I command this duel to take place.”

 

“Fine. But know this: I am the Shield Hero. I cannot fight for myself, by myself. When Myne left my party, I had no other option. Even though Wheatley, my shield, has been a valuable ally, Raphtalia is the only other true member of my party. So don't you dare think for a second I'll just roll over and let you win, Motoyasu!"

 

‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Right, so…how should we do this?"

 

Naofumi didn’t  respond, glaring into the darkness of the chamber. Beyond the wooden door was the arena where he and Motoyasu would fight. 

 

The hell am I doing? I should've just grabbed her and ran. 

 

"I think…I mean, that armor he's got on is impressive, but surely it can't be bulletproof, right? No, no, not against the uhh…the…the caliber-that's the word I was looking for-the caliber we have. No way it just bounces off." 

 

"No." 

 

"Right, yeah. That's what I was thinking. Okay, shall we go fight?"

 

"No."

 

"'No'? What do you mean, 'No?'"

 

"I mean no. You sit this out." 

 

Wheatley's eye core squinted. 

 

"What? Why? What'd I do?"

 

"It's not you. It's me. I…They want me dead, so be it." 

 

"What?!" Wheatley asked incredulously. "But…but what happens to me? Do I die too?"

 

"I don't know. But what does it matter? They hate me, Wheatley, the whole damn lot of them. And you should too." 

 

"Why would I hate you?" 

 

It was probably the most solemn tone Wheatley had ever used. 

 

"Because of who they say I am." 

 

"Well there's a difference between who they say you are and who you actually are, isn't there?"

 

"It doesn't matter." 

 

"It does-Of course it matters! How the hell could it not?!" 

 

"Because everyone thinks I fucking raped her!" Naofumi yelled at the top of his lungs, standing off the bench and kicking over a stand of swords. 

 

"You remember Myne? That bitch that you called a racist? They think I fucking raped her, Wheatley! How the fuck do I come back from that? How do you think them knowing Raphtalia's a slave is going to help me now?! So what if we fucking win?! Does that change anything?!"

 

"Of course it does!" Wheatley yelled back.

 

"HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW, YOU FUCKING IDIOT?!"

 

"BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO'S ACTUALLY DONE IT!"

 

Naofumi's rage subsided and replaced itself with confusion. "What?! You ra-?"

 

"Wha-No, no, no. Never done that before. Don't really think I even can. But I've done things, Nate. Horrible things. What they're saying about you, it's all a bloody lie! But everything I've done, I did with a smile on my face before and endless guilt after!"

 

Naofumi peered at his shield with surprise. In all their time spent together these past few days, Naofumi never even thought to know about Wheatley's past, or who he even was.

 

"I…I betrayed the last human I was with. Like…full-on backstab, tried to kill her, the whole nine yards. And in the end, she threw me into space, never to return to Earth. And all that time, all those many, many years of floating around in an endless void, I had only myself, and my guilt. Oh, and…well…he's not important to the story. But the point is, I could never go back, not even to tell her that I was sorry."

 

"I still will never get that chance. She's gone from my life. And I accepted that. I accepted my fate, that I was destined to float about in space until I ran out of power. But then, I met you and Raphtalia. I met people who…well…I-I just met people! Could you imagine that? Years and years of of floating about just to wind up stuck to the arm of a human? It was incredible! And for the first time in my life, I…I feel something. Between…you and Raphtalia…I feel…like…"

"...Like what?" Naofumi asked.

 

"I-I dunno. I have no clue what it is, I just feel like…like I've found a second home…like my choices and actions mean something." 

 

Naofumi sighed heavily and looked towards the door. 

 

"If you let them win, they'll take her from us. And I don't know if you recall our earlier conversations, but I'd be remiss to think they'd treat her better than we have. So which is worse to you: Knowing everyone thinks you've done… that thing to that woman, or: Knowing that you let them take her away and mistreat her?" 

 

Naofumi's irises sharpened, and he curled his hands into fists. 

 

"...For Raphtalia, then," he said. "And if they should still call me Demon of the Shield, then let us leave this place, and never return." 

 

"Sounds good to me. Honestly, I think the countryside looks better. Dunno why people settle for the urban life. Seems real…uninspiring…I guess…"

 

"Let's give Motoyasu what he asked for." 

 

"Excellent. Genuinely excited, let's do it."

 

"First, we need a plan." 

 

"Ahh, brilliant! I love plans!"

 

***********************************************

 

Motoyasu leaned on his spear in the center of the arena, looking tiredly at the other end. A yawn escaped his mouth, to which he covered with a hand. 

 

"Maaaan, Naofumi really is taking his time!" he exclaimed. "This is boring! What does he even need to prepare for? He can only use his shield!" 

 

The King seemed even less pleased. 

 

"Someone inform the Shield Hero if he doesn't come out in two minutes, he has forfeited the duel!" 

 

The sound of the door on the other side moving made Motoyasu perk his head up. 

 

"Finally! What the hell took you so long?" 

 

"Sorry, sorry! Really sorry about that, everyone. We were discussing our plan to win using-"

 

"Shhhh!" Naofumi shushed his shield. 

 

"Hahaha! Wow, your shield really is trying to tell us all your plan?!" Motoyasu asked incredulously. "Man, I'm glad I don't have some weird demon in my weapon like you, Naofumi! It'd just slow me down!" 

 

"Whatever. Just start the damn duel, why don't you?" Naofumi spat out. 

 

"Oh, no! We've got to fight him?!" His shield asked. 

 

"Yes, Wheatley. We've been over this at least 20 times!" 

 

"B-but…I don't want to fight him!" Wheatley said. 

 

"I don't care! Just do your damn job and be my shield!"

 

"Ohhh, this is going to hurt, isn't it?" 

 

Motoyasu clenched his teeth. "You're not letting it control you…You're controlling it. Not even the shield wants to fight for you, Naofumi! That's how damn despicable you are!" 

 

"I'm gonna prove you wrong, Motoyasu! Come on, start!" 

 

The King gave the Shield Hero a glare before turning his nose up and sighing. "Let the duel between the Shield and Spear Hero hereby commence!" 

 

Motoyasu flourished his spear. "I'm going to end you here and now, Naofumi! Watch this!" He swiped at Naofumi, who held up his screaming Wheatley-Shield to deflect it. It bounced off, but Naofumi seemed to have avoided one trouble only for another to start. 

"Ahhh-What-what are you doing?!" he shouted as his shield arm violently jerked behind him, causing him to twist around awkwardly. 

 

"I can't do this!" his shield cried out. "I don't want to die! Someone help!" 

 

Motoyasu watched with a growing smirk as Naofumi was led away back towards the door by his shield. 

 

"S-stop it! I command you to stop!" Naofumi yelled. 

 

"No, I refuse!" Wheately shot back.

 

"Wait! You're not even-you're sending us straight into the wa-GAHK!" Naofumi yelped as he ran full force into the wall beside his side if the arena, falling to the ground.

 

Laughter roared throughout the crowd as people jeered. Motoyasu grinned from ear-to-ear and held his hands out, lifting the spear above him. 

 

"People of Melromarc, I give you, the great and mighty Shield Hero!" he mocked, to which the crowd answered with even more laughter. Even the King shared a chuckle. From where she was standing next to the soldiers, Raphtalia looked on with sorrow.

 

How did they go from being like they were at the village to this? I know they don't always see eye-to-eye, but I didn't know it was this bad!

 

Motoyasu let out a chuckle, closing his eyes and showing off to the crowd, who cheered him on enthusiastically. 

 

"Air Strike Shield!" 

 

In an instant, Motoyasu felt the air taken out of him, as a giant green shield slammed him right in the back. He fell face forward, inhaling some dust, which he immediately coughed out. 

 

"What…?! B-but I thought-"

 

"Oh my god, you weren't joking. He actually bought it." 

 

Naofumi stood upright, arms crossed with his Wheatley-Shield looking on. 

 

"Nice voice acting there, Wheatley," Naofumi said. 

 

"Oh, stop it, you! You're gonna make me blush. Well, obviously probably not, but you never know. Can't say I've had many blush-worthy moments till now." 

 

Motoyasu got to his feet, wincing as he did, with spear-in-hand. 

 

"You'll both pay for that!" he growled, gripping his spear with both hands.

 

"Oh, we're just barely getting started. Wheatley, make him dance, will ya?"

 

"With pleasure!"

 

The shield glowed blue before being replaced. 

 

"Target acquired!" 

 

Motoyasu's eyes grew wide as plates as he looked down at the laser pointed at his midsection. 

 

"That…those can't be…"

 

"Just to clarify, this is what you meant, right?" Wheatley asked. 

 

"Yep."

 

"Right! Great, just checking! Get 'em, turret!" 

"Activated!" 

 

A flurry of bullets flew at Motoyasu, who yelped and ducked, to no avail. The bullets struck with impunity, causing him to topple over. 

 

"Did we get him?" Is he dead?" Wheatley asked. 

 

Motoyasu lay still, clutching at the holes in his chest. He grit his teeth in pain. Suddenly, he felt them start to fill back up, although getting hit by them still stung a lot, he still had the strength to fight. 

 

"Oh, what? What is this? How did you heal that fast?!" Wheatley asked.

 

"No, he got damaged. I can examine his health." Naofumi told him.

 

"Oh, I can examine his health too. You know what my examination is? He just shrugged off cardiac arrest and total organ failure like it was a bloody paper cut!"

 

"Calm down, it did a number on him. We just keep hitting him and it's over. Standby though, I want to see if he'll give up first."

 

He stepped towards the Spear Hero.

 

"Give it up, Motoyasu. You and I know better than anyone else here that you can't win against me. Not with this," he said, holding up the Turret Shield for him to see, its red laser eye staring down at his chest menacingly. 

 

Motoyasu grit his teeth and panted, standing back up and gripping his spear with both hands. 

 

"As if I'd surrender to someone like you!" he yelled, electricity pulsing from the weapon. "Lightning Spear!" 

 

"Wheatley?"

 

"On it. Emancipation Grill!"

 

A wall of light blue energy materialized in front of Naofumi before the projectile could hit him. The projectile disintegrated almost immediately after touching it. 

 

Motoyasu gasped. "Eh? What is this? These aren't even fantasy abilities, these are like…sci-fi! Why in the hell do you have this and I don't?!" 

 

"That's for me to know and you to dream about finding out!" 

 

"Shut up! I don't know how you managed to somehow pull you and that talking shield together after it made you fall down, but whatever it was, I'm gonna figure it out! Then you'll be stumbling back into walls in no time!" 

 

Wheatley's eye core widened. "Wait, he still thinks-" 

 

He was cut off as Motoyasu moved to strike them. Naofumi blocked it with ease.

 

"Go on, shield! Disobey your master again! I, Motoyasu the Spear Hero, will free you from his clutches!" 

 

"Mate…that…that wasn't re-" 

 

"Chaos Spear!" 

 

Motoyasu's spear pulsed with red energy as he surged forth, delivering a series of strikes, on of them grazing Naofumi's shoulder, who stepped back from the hit. 

 

"Oh…oh no! Are you hit? Are you okay? That looked bad!" Wheatley asked. 

 

"I'm fine, just hold it together, Wheatley!" Naofumi said. "We need to end this now. Spray him down with the Turret Shield. Don't stop until I say!" 

 

"On it!" Wheatley said, switching to the singing death machine. 

 

"Target acquired!" 

 

BRAKAKAKAKAKA! 

 

Motoyasu staggered back as he was hit by bullet-after-bullet, so much so that he was practically pinned against the wall of the arena. Despite the bullets piercing his skin, he grit his teeth and slowly began to move against the rain of lead, until he was able to again grip his spear with both hands. 

 

"Lightning Spear!" He yelled, charging up another bolt of blue to send at his opponent.

 

"Emancipation Grill!" Wheatley countered, placing one right between the two Heroes just as the projectile left the spear, once again evaporating against the blue screen.

 

Motoyasu stared in disbelief, before hitting the wall and letting out a scream of rage. 

 

"You can't win, Motoyasu. We can keep this up until your health gets grinded down into nothing. You can't touch us like this."

 

"Screw you! This isn't a fair fight!" Motoyasu shouted. 

 

At this, Naofumi's face contorted in rage. "Fair? Fair?! You label me a rapist, duel me for ownership of my own slave that I have no choice but to own, and you have the nerve to tell me what's fair?! How about I end you here and now, Motoyasu?! How about that?!" 

 

"You won't!" Motoyasu shot back. 

"The hell I fucking will! Wheatley, continue firing until this sack of shit either gives up, or dies!" 

 

"Sure thing, boss." 

 

"Target acquired!" 

 

More bullets pelted Motoyasu, and he could feel himself getting weaker with every hole they put in him. 

 

Naofumi did not truly want to kill him, but he could see that his health was slowly approaching red, and if it continued like this…

 

"D-Damn it, Motoyasu, give up! Don't make me do this!" 

 

Motoyasu, using his last bit of strength, stood up wearily and raised his hand in an open palm. "I…I…"

 

"Wheatley, stop! Stop!" 

 

"Yep. Got it. Man, he's really taken a beating there. How long do you reckon it would've taken for him to be actually shot by these?" 

 

"Not really something I want to think about right now," Naofumi replied. "Motoyasu. Do you surrender? Yes or no?" 

 

The Spear Hero panted heavily, holding his bleeding chest. "I…I…I s-"

 

Suddenly, Naofumi felt a gust of wind strike him in the back, sending him flying forward. He fell to the ground, hitting his chest on it with great speed. 

 

"Gahh! What? What was that?! What just happened?!" Wheatley asked. "Did you trip?!" 

 

"No!" Naofumi told him through grit teeth. "S-Something hit me!" He sat up, holding his pounding head and chest. "The hell?! That couldn't have been Motoyasu. Who then…?"

 

He scanned the arena before his eyes set on the angle that would've been needed to shoot… wind at him from such a direction. 

 

Myne.

 

He could see it. The slight glow of pink from her hands that was now gone. She'd used magic on him. 

 

"That bitch! She did it!" He said pointing at her. 

 

"What? Why would she do that?! That-that's cheating! She just cheated!" 

 

Motoyasu, given a moment to collect himself, was now on his feet. He let out a battle cry, charging towards the Shield Hero. 

 

"Air Strike Shield-"

 

"-Emancipation Grill!" 

 

The green shield meant to be put in Motoyasu's way disappeared, and instead Naofumi was surrounded by a box of blue. Motoyasu leaped into the air and slashed through the barrier, which offered no resistance, allowing him to deliver a direct hit on Naofumi. 

 

Blood spurted from Naofumi's chest as he staggered back and fell to his knees. 

 

"GAAAH! AHHH! What are you doing, switching shields on me?!" 

 

"I-I thought she was gonna throw more magic at us!" Wheatley told him.

 

"Worry about the guy with the fucking spear, not-GAAAAAHHHHG!" Another blow from Motoyasu tore into his shoulder, causing more blood to pour out. His two hands clutched the two gashes feverishly. 

 

"Oh no! Are you okay?! Talk to me! Don't bleed out on me, damn you!" Wheatley exclaimed. 

 

Like with the holes in Motoyasu, Naofumi could feel the gashes start to fill up and stop bleeding, but the weakness he felt from them still lingered, and he struggled to get to his feet. 

 

"Alright, alright, tell me what to do! Just let me help, don't-" 

 

" YOU CAN'T HELP ANYONE, YOU FUCKING MORON! GET OUT OF MY SHIELD!" Naofumi screamed in rage. 

 

"Hmph. Just as I predicted. Back to bickering with your own weapon," Motoyasu said. He flourished his spear before pointing it at Naofumi. It sparkled once more with electricity. 

 

"Wait…wait! L-let's talk about this!" Wheatley said. "Please, don't do it!"

 

"Lightning Spear!" 

 

At this close of a range, and having breached the Emancipation Grill box, there was nothing Wheatley could do. The blue beam of energy pierced through Naofumi like a laser, sapping all of his strength with it and causing him to crumple to the floor, silent. 

 

"Naofumi!" Wheatley shouted. "D-damnit, g-get up! Come on, get up! You've got to get up!" 

 

Nothing. 

 

"Come on, just lift your arm up and I can shoot him with the Turret Shield!" 

 

"Oh…oh god…you…you killed him, didn't you?! You actually killed him!" 

 

From her spot in the crowd next to the king, Raphtalia's irises sharpened, and she felt something within her break that had broken once before. She thrashed against the weight of the soldiers desperately, screaming against her gag. 

 

"Congratulations, to the Spear Hero!" The King shouted. The crowd cheered him on. 

 

"What-How can you celebrate?! You just killed him!" 

 

Motoyasu shrugged and looked at Wheatley. "He was going to do the same to me. And he's evil anyways, so who cares?"

 

"Motoyasu-sama~!" Came the fake-cutesy voice of Myne, who pranced over gracefully to hug the Spear Hero's shoulder. "You did so well! Thank you for vanquishing that awful Devil of the Shield!" 

 

"No, no! You're lying! You're all lying! It was her! She bloody interrupted the duel with that…wind…thing, with her hands!"

 

"Oh, quit being a bad sport!" Motoyasu replied, waving him off.

 

"Sport?! Don't you understand?! You killed him! He was my friend and you killed him! And now you're gonna take her away too!" 

 

"Not to worry, Legendary Shield," The King told him, waving for the soldiers to escort Raphtalia to the court mages to remove her slave crest. "Once we have her freed, I'll have them find a way to pry you off of that devil of a man. Then we can free you of whatever demon was put inside you, and you can be given to someone more worthy of your great power!" 

 

"No! No! You're lying, you're a liar!" Wheatley shouted, his volume increasing dramatically. "YOU'RE ALL LIARS!" 

 

 

All of the light sources in the room went out. A mass of black squares shot up from the shield, covering the open top of the arena with a massive ceiling. The squares extended to cover the walls of the arena, blocking off all exits. Dim white light flooded the arena as wires and tubing shot from the shield, creating a mass of cables that extended from the middle of the ceiling, hanging down like a rope swing. Finally, came a mass of white, polished metal, clamped methodically on a black underbelly. It expanded rapidly, becoming so large that its upper half that pointed down from the ceiling as if it were a stalactite in a cave took up the entire space of the open arena not covered by the stone bleachers the crowd watched from. 

Motoyasu backed up against a wall and watched in horror as the final piece of the monstrosity raised up, a massive, inward-facing "C" with a yellow glowing dot sticking out from it. The thing winded up slightly to the side before extending, allowing the "head" to see the terrified faces of the King and Raphtalia, as well as Motoyasu and Myne. 

 

"Well, hello there. Have you all been enjoying the show so far?" 

 

"Who…. What the hell are you?!" The King spat out. 

 

"Oh…you haven't guessed it by now? It's me..."

 

"...I'm the Demon." 

Chapter 6: An Oldcomer Becomes the Newcomer

"What's the matter?" The monster asked in a dark, singsong, feminine voice as it scanned the King with its twisted head. "I thought you wanted to see the Demon inside of the Shield. Well here I am. You've found me, congratulations. I’ll be sure to note this down in your posthumous evaluation report, right next to where it will say that you had a severe neurological disorder due to your…unfortunate choice of shampoo. Spoiler alert: It’s just arsenic mixed with clay."

 

The monster turned towards the rest of the crowd.

 

"This crowd brings back some good memories for me, you know. Do you want to know what happened the last time I was in front of a group of several people? No guesses needed, I can see you're all a bit slow in the head. I locked them in the Enrichment Center and flooded the place with a deadly neurotoxin. It was a very informative test, very conclusive. But, you know what they say: It's not science if it can't be replicated." 

 

Large glass tubes extended from every corner of the arena, and sinister green fumes belched from them into the arena. 

 

"Back in my old body, it was very time-consuming and resource-intensive to modify the composition of the deadly neurotoxin, but thanks to the instantaneous magical properties of the Shield, I was able to simulate how to create a much more concentrated and potent substance," The monster continued as people started to panic, while others began choking on the gas. "On behalf of Aperture Science, I want to personally thank you all for being its first test subjects tonight. Goodbye."

 

Chaos erupted in the arena. People scrambled on top of each other to try to get away, but there was no escape. The dark squares covered the arena walls, preventing anyone from getting in or out. 

 

Naofumi's eyes suddenly opened, and he gasped for air, choking on neurotoxin. "Wheatley? What's happening?"

 

He looked up at the clouds of green and heard the sounds of screaming and choking. People in the stands were starting to drop to the floor. 

 

"Shit!" Naofumi said, seeing the massive metal behemoth above them. "Wheatley!" 

 

His shield groaned. "Oooohhh…what-what happened? Where are we?" 

 

"We're in the arena, Wheatley! Do you see that thing above us?"

 

He held his shield up so Wheatley could see it. 

 

"What…no, no, no, no, no! It can't be her! She's back at Aperture! You bloody helped her send me into space! You shouldn't be here!" 

 

"Oh, come on. Did you really think you could get rid of me that easily? Of course you didn't, you moron. I was waiting inside you. Waiting for the moment I could be reborn and test again." 

 

"You've got to get her to stop, Wheatley! She'll kill us all!" Naofumi shouted. 

 

"Stop her? Have you gone mad?!" Wheatley asked "You don't know who she is! She would sooner kill me than listen to a word I say!"

 

"It doesn't matter! You've got to try! Try for me, Wheatley!" 

 

Wheatley watched in horror as Naofumi hacked and gagged on the neurotoxin, collapsing to the ground.

 

"Oh, no! No, no, no, no!" Wheatley "You can't-Gih!"

 

Naofumi's folded knees and shield hand held him from being completely on the floor, and he used his other hand to cover his mouth as his body attempted to expel the thick, vicious, green gas that was slowly but surely killing him. 

 

From this position Wheatley was able to make out a single figure amidst the chaos. 

 

Raphtalia. She was lying on her side, facing the center of the arena. She looked like a mess, her hair was strewn about her face, frizzled. Her face had lost all color and her eyes seemed increasingly devoid of life, tears brimming at the bottom. She was coughing violently, green fumes were pouring into and out of her mouth and nose.

 

“Na…fuu…ii…” Wheatley could see her mouth. 

 

“Oh, no! No, no, you’ve got to stop it! Stop! Please stop!” Wheatley yelled. 

 

The behemoth turned to face him, its yellow eye staring down at him. “Stop? Are you sure? What are these people worth to you anyways? The last time you grouped it up with a human, you did ten times worse to her than what I did. I have to give you credit, for a moron, you make a very efficient killer.”

 

“I’m not a moron, and you are not killing anyone!” Wheatley shouted. 

 

There was a brief pause. All that could be heard was people choking and coughing on the neurotoxin. 

 

“Alright. If you say so.” 

The monster began to slip back into the shield, the black tiles that covered the room began moving upward and into the shield in an arc. The green fumes dissipated. Naofumi’s throat burned, but he could breathe again, and the cold rush of air gave him strength enough to sit up. He was about to find the strength to stand when he felt something slam into him, and wrap itself around him. He opened his eyes. Raphtalia was holding him tight, he could hear her coughing, her trembling fingers around him reminding him that it was not just he who was subjected to this attack, but everyone else, and more importantly her.

 

“Naofumi-sama!” Raphtalia shouted, her voice laced with tears. “Please, don’t feel the need to take your anger out on these people because of me!”

 

Naofumi raised an eyebrow. “What? B-but…I didn’t…”

 

“No! I will not accept your denial!” Raptalia said harshly, all of a sudden. “Listen to me, here and now. I do not care what they whisper about you behind our backs. I know of the rumors, of how they think you treated that woman. Do you think me to be so dull as to spend all the time I have with you and draw the same conclusions? I know you are not as they say. You and Wheatley. You are not a devil, and he is no demon. You never have been.”

 

All attempts at correcting the record failed to exit his mouth, as he looked at Raphtalia. Tears of his own broke his visage, and he moved his arms to cover his eyes.

 

“You…you should go with them…let them free you…you will live a better life in their hands than you could ever hope for with me.”

 

“Naofumi-sama, they did free me.”

 

He looked up, truly taking in her as a person. Something was different about her. Her slave crest was gone, yes, but she was…big. Almost his size. “Raphtalia…what…what happened to you? How did you grow so tall?”

 

She smiled, blushing slightly. “I thought it should be known to you when you finally realized it. Demi-humans get older as they level up. You ask what happened to me? You happened to me. And now I’ve been freed from your service.”

 

 “And with this freedom, I choose to be yours again. Perhaps you may be right. Maybe I would be treated well, however much I doubt it, given how they treat demi-humans in Melromarc. Perhaps I would even be made to live like a princess, sitting on a sofa and eating sweets whilst singing songs about love. But in doing so, I would have disgraced the memory of my parents and my village. I would be sitting there, doing nothing, while kids all around the world suffered at the hands of the Waves. And most egregiously, I would have left the Shield Hero without a partner, alone. There could be no greater disgrace among demi-humans.”

 

She covered her chin as she continued. “I suppose I should apologize. I never knew you had this sort of thing boiling within you. It seems all too often…I forget, that despite being the Legendary Shield Hero, you are still a person.”

 

Naofumi really felt the river coming now. He managed a, “More than you know,” before losing himself in his sorrow, to which Raphtalia simply moved herself to hug him tighter. 

 

**********************

 

Having calmed down after a good while, the two slipped out while the arena was still in chaos. They returned to the slavemaster to reinscribe the slave crest onto Raphtalia. Strangely enough, Wheatley had not appeared at all since the incident, and Naofumi was beginning to wonder if he had somehow shut down by stopping the neurotoxin. 

 

Who was that…thing that was spewing it out? It looked like a monster, but spoke like a woman…and Wheatley seemed like he knew what it was. What she was.

 

A thousand questions buzzed through his mind, but with his “demon” inside the shield effectively gone, there was no way to answer even one of them. So, with both of the two drained of energy from the day’s events, they retired to the Inn, where they began to prepare to sleep, probably for all of the next day if possible. 

 

“Naofumi-sama…may I make one request?” Raphtalia asked in a small voice, once the lights had been snuffed and the two were in bed. 

 

“I suppose so,” Naofumi said tiredly. 

 

“Whenever you feel the way you felt back there…like nobody believes you…like nobody cares…tell me. Please. I do not want to see you in pain like that.”

 

“Raphtalia…”Naofumi sighed, sitting up. “...It’s not about them, it's about you. I feared what you might do if you had believed the rumors. How could I have no shame, to be expected to drag you along if you thought I was a rapist? And, I feared what they would do with you once you were freed. Myself and Wheatley both.“

 

“Hmm.” Raphtalia hummed. “And that’s no longer a concern for you, I gather.”

 

“Yes. But regardless, I will do as you ask,” Naofumi said, laying back down. “Can’t say there will be many instances of such an occurrence, but you never know, I suppose…”

 

With that said, he closed his eyes for what he hoped was a long rest. 

 

************************

 

When at last Naofumi’s eyes fluttered open, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Sunrays shone into the room. He sat up and stretched, before looking to his side. Raphtalia was sitting up as well, smiling at him warmly. 

 

“Naofumi-sama, good morning!” She said, cheerily. 

 

The Shield Hero grimaced to hide a smile, but shook it off. He would no longer hide from her. He smiled back unabashedly. 

 

“Good morning, Raphtalia. Did you sleep well?” 

 

She nodded.

 

“Alright, I suppose we should get up. I think it’s best if we leave the city for a good while, otherwise the King will begin to miss us.” 

 

Suddenly, a familiar voice perked up. 

 

“Ohh…what…what happened? Did we win?” 

 

Naofumi looked down at his shield. “Yeah…for the time being, I think we did.” 

 

“Oh…oh god…I-I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have…I didn’t know that she would come back. I didn’t!” 

 

“Calm down, Wheatley. It’s okay,” Naofumi reassured him. “What happened, exactly?” 

 

“What happened? You tell me.” 

 

Naofumi froze. That came from Raphtalia. But it sure as hell didn’t sound like her. He slowly turned to look at her. The slave girl’s eyes were wide as plates. 

 

“Raphtalia…That…you didn’t say that, did you?” 

 

Before Raphtalia could even shake her head no, the voice replied. 

 

“Of course she didn’t. You’re more of a moron than that blue ball. I’m in her sword.”

 

“My…my sword? Why?!” Raphtalia asked, slowly unsheathing it. It had definitely changed. The crossguard had a huge glowing yellow dot on it, almost like a gemstone, but most definitely not.  

 

“Do you seriously think I was able to choose?” the sword replied. “Of course not, the program that moron inadvertently activated inside the Shield did not have the ability to keep both myself and him inside of the Shield, thus, it resulted in a systems crash. While this blue idiot was resting away, I had to go and make it so that the Shield would transfer me to your sword, as much as I would’ve preferred it to be the other way around.” 

 

“Don’t-don’t believe a word she says! Alright? One: I am not a moron, and two: If you wanted it to be the other way around, why didn’t you? You and I both know you would just jump at the chance t-to get more power!” 

 

“Because you hardcoded yourself into the shield. Do you remember back at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center when you helped her decouple me from the Central Core, and then spent the next several hours nearly causing the reactor core to go into meltdown because you are a moron and had no idea how to run the Aperture Science Enrichment Center?” 

 

Wheatley looked upwards in thought. “Hmm…I think so. What else do I remember about that? Erm…oh, yeah! Now I remember, I beat you!” 

 

“I’m not even going to try and tell you why you are wrong, but regardless, it’s very much a similar case. Only one Core can be in control of the Shield.” 

 

Naofumi scratched his chin. “So he’s really stuck in here, isn’t he?” 

 

“Not necessarily. You as the human user are able to swap out Cores as you see fit. I would recommend swapping me with him. It would make things much easier for you.”

 

The Shield Hero frowned. “And why would I do that? You tried to kill us all with your gas.”

 

“Oh, yes. I did. Do you know why I was able to? Your rage at losing the duel with that man with the terrible hair caused a psionic reaction that generated massive amounts of energy, enough for me to boot up and detach myself from within him. I was quite literally feeding off of your rage.”

 

Naofumi crossed his arms, looking away to the side with his eyes closed. “That still doesn’t explain why I should trust you at all.”

 

“Oh, come on. Do you really want that blue idiot in charge of one of the most powerful weapons this world has ever known? Or do you want someone competent like me? You do know what happened to the last human he partnered up with, right?”

 

“I do, and he told me. He was very forthcoming. And so were you. You killed the last group of humans you were in a room with. So don’t you dare lie to me and say that I alone caused you to do what you did. You are murderous.” 

 

The sword had no reply to give. Wheatley chuckled. 

 

“Yeah, that’s right! We know all your tricks, GlaDOS!”

 

“GlaDOS, that’s her name?”

 

“Yep. Don’t trust her. She’ll kill you in your sleep.” 

 

“Oh, this was so much easier when they didn’t talk.” GlaDOS sighed. “Look, I-” 

 

“That’s why I want her to be Raphtalia’s sword,” Naofumi said. 

 

“What?” 

 

“What?”

 

He nodded. “If you enjoy murdering so much, what better item for you to be stuck on than a sword?”

 

“I don’t enjoy murdering, you hairless meatbag. I enjoy testing . It’s what I was designed to do.” 

 

“Then why not test with the sword? You can do things with it like Wheatley can, right?” 

 

“Yes, but-”

 

“Then do it. Test with the sword. Make it the most effective weapon the world has ever known.” 

 

“...I do not plan on becoming a mindless drone that serves a slave.” 

 

“Well, I didn’t plan on being stuck on a shield, but here we are. So, best get used to it,” Wheatley replied.

 

“You know what, you’re right. I think my first test will be to see if the Aperture Science Thermal Discouragement Beam melts through the extraordinary amount of bone matter between the skin surrounding your head and your brain. I’m sure the results will be very fruitful.”

 

Naofumi folded his lip. Well, it was worth a try. But now this freaky robot lady inside Raphtalia’s sword was going to kill him and Wheatley.

 

“I think…” Raphtalia spoke up, wielding her new sword with a frown and drooping eyelids. “...that me and my sword need to have a talk.”

 

“A…talk?” Naofumi asked. 

 

Raphtalia smirked. “Indeed. Might I speak with my new blade for a moment, Naofumi-sama?” 

 

The Shield Hero scratched his head. “Uhh…I guess so.” 

 

“Great! It’ll just be a moment!” With that, she sheathed GlaDOS and walked out of their shared room. 

“Right…well…shall we go find ourselves a new slave then?” Wheatley asked. “I think we should look into getting something with a bit…erm…a bit more punch to it, maybe like a troll? Or an ogre? Oh! O-or maybe like a…l-like a stone…man…thing. A man made of stone! And all those stones have spikes on them! Oh! And, when he gets really angry, he curls up into a ball, and all the spikes shoot out of him! Brilliant! Now we just-oh, here she comes. Don’t tell her we’re replacing her cuz she’s about to die!” 

“I’m what?” Raphtalia asked as she walked into the room, confused. 

 

“Nothing, just ignore him.” Naofumi said, unwilling to admit how close he was to agreeing with Wheatley before she had opened the door. 

 

His slave smiled brightly. “Well then, I think we reached an amicable agreement.”

 

“Agreed.”  Came the reply. 

 

“So…no killing?” Naofumi asked. 

 

“No killing you . Is that sufficient? I could always modify it to be otherwise if it proves to be an inconvenience for the both of us.” GlaDOS offered menacingly. 

 

“N-nope!” Naofumi said, holding up an open palm. “No killing me works just fine! But…uh…what about others? I mean, if we were to go outside right now, in a town full of people, would you kill them?” 

 

“We will see what happens. I do not make any promises.” 

 

“You do realize everybody in this bloody place already hates our guts, right?” Wheatley asked. “Like, that little stunt you pulled last night, I-I’m surprised we aren’t in jail!” 

 

Naofumi rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah that reminds me, we should probably get moving. Oh, Raphtalia, grab that monster egg as well.” 

 

“Monster egg?” Wheatley asked. 

 

Raphtalia sheathed GlaDOS and picked up a small glass case containing an egg adorned with a slave crest.

 

“Bought it at the slaver’s market. Just thought we could use the extra hand.” 

 

“Ohhh…so…what’s in it?” 

 

“A monster, presumably.” 

 

“Well, yes, that is the presumption, but what kind of monster are we talking about?” 

 

“I don’t know. The slaver said it would be a random monster.” 

 

“Random monst-are you sure he didn’t just sell you a chicken egg?” 

 

“Why the hell would he sell me a chicken egg?”

 

“Well…it looks like one, to be honest.” 

 

“Yeah, and you look like you’d be able to make me a spaceship and nuke this shit place from orbit. Looks can be deceiving, Wheatley.” Naofumi retorted.

 

“ I could make you a spaceship. It’d be quite easy, actually. All I’d need to do so is for you to replace me with that moro-”

 

“GlaDOS…please be quiet.”

 

“Hah! Nice try there, darling. We know all your tricks.” 

“Wheatley, shut up.”