Chapter Text
Childe stared at Arlecchino’s coffin as Pulcinella spoke his words, slowly zoning out. His body felt numb, even his floor-length winter coat with fur collar couldn’t warm him up.
Arlecchino’s death was unavoidable, old age took her out like a hawk eying on its prey, waiting to strike down. She died without wanting support from other harbingers, preferring to be left alone. The ginger didn’t blame her, her mortal body would’ve given out sooner if she was left with the other harbingers because of stress. She probably wouldn’t have lived till 92. He wished he could say the same about himself, working together with the others only made his will to live stronger for some Tsaritsa’s unknown reason.
Fucking annoying.
He watched the other harbingers say their last goodbyes to the woman and he stepped away to make room, feeling the awkward tension fill the air. Nobody here was close to Arlecchino and since she wanted to be left alone, no one had spoken to her in years except for Pierro, checking on her monthly to see how she was doing. But they weren’t close at all so it didn’t matter much.
Childe despised funerals, seeing everyone around him slowly perish away while he didn’t age a day hurt like a bitch and it only made him more closed off. He watched Il Dottore grumble, crossing his arms. “If only she let me test the serum on her.” He muttered, annoyed. From the corner of the ginger’s eyes, Pulcinella shook his head, disapproving of it. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything back and focused on Arlecchino burial. He’d been the one to organise every memorial ever since La Signora died, his social connections throughout the country helped to make the perfect funeral.
“I will miss her.” He spoke and Childe turned around, not having anything to say to the dead harbinger. Him and Arlecchino never got along, her ass would’ve betrayed the Tsaritsa in a second if she’d the chance. He’d no interest in seeing her coffin get frozen and left through the grand entrance door. Warmer air hit his face and he frowned, his eyepatch moving down.
It was annoying how much it moved but it was better than to hide it than let everyone see.
The abyss started taking over him about thirty years ago.
His eye was the first to show signs and he just woke up one day, seeing that his eye turned into a light blue with a star carved into his eye pupil. Around it, his skin was dark purple and hard to the touch. Childe instantly recognised it, the star of the abyss he’d seen in master Skirk’s eyes, Pierro’s eyes and now his own. It scared him to death, his master’s words ran through his head, those words he heard when foul legacy first took control over his body. It would follow him for the rest of his life, draining him until there was nothing but a husk left. Over the years, he’d come to terms with it, accepting that one day, the abyss would take over him again just when he was fourteen.
Childe fixed his eyepatch, the piece of cloth irritated his normal skin. He’d been writing down the condition; on how it looks and feels every day for the Il Dottore on request from Her Majesty. He despised writing to the doctor, it felt invasive and the check-ups were always at the wrong time.
Just like the check-up he’d to go to today, it was so conveniently planned today. Childe knew Il Dottore was walking behind him, the sneaky bastard wasn’t subtill with stalking him at all. His steps were ringing loudly in the icy halls, his heel clicking onto the frozen floor. The ginger’s pace slowly done so the doctor could catch up and he looked over his shoulder, pressing his lips together.
“You hide the symptoms quick well, Tartaglia.” Il Dottore spoke, his deep voice echoed through the frozen room. “Impressive.” He rubbed his chin. Childe already felt irritated by the other’s presence, his hands turning into fists. If he made a list on how much each harbinger annoyed him, the blue-haired man would be number one, including his clones. “I wonder how long it would take you to snap under pressure..” The other muttered under his breath and Childe tried his best to keep himself together. His abyssal nature had made it harder to control himself, to not transform into foul legacy and rip someone to shreds just because they got onto his nerves.
It managed to get him once, his annoyance got the better off him. The ginger doesn’t even remember what had happened that triggered it until they were restraining him, holding him tightly down to the ground. His mind was tangled up in thoughts, unable think straight for at least a week.
But his body wasn’t hurt. Normally he would’ve felt fatigued by the transformation, altering his limbs was a tedious and infuriating thing to do and of course, it was agonising. Having to reorganise his internal organs while also focusing on shaping his arms and legs. Yet, it didn’t hurt him back then. It was if it was second nature to modify his figure and it petrified him, knowing that it could switch him around within a second.
Il Dottore opened the door, letting Childe through. He’d been there for past examinations before and he immediately pulled off his winter coat, hanging it up. The ginger hoped the exam would be a quick look at his eye and the weird, small reddish horns that were (thank the Tsaritsa) barely noticeable but still, it alarmed him. “Can we do this quick?” He muttered under his breath, sitting down on the bed, not bothering with taking off his shirt and instead, made himself comfortable. Check-ups usually consisted of Il Dottore inspecting his eye and writing down the progress of the growth of his weird horns he wished he could get rid of.
Even though they were barely noticeable due to his wild ginger curls, unless you actually searched for it but still, it bothered him. His fatui mask normally fit perfectly on the side of his head and it stayed still while he fought, not once in life it’d dropped from his head. But because of those damn horns, his mask fell off and fucking shattered in combat because someone stood on it. Childe was pissed for weeks and since then, it’d been years that wore a fatui mask.
“So, Tartaglia, how have you been?” The doctor asked, waiting for the ginger to remove the eyepatch and pulled on plastic gloves, slapping it against his pale skin. Il Dottore smelled like a mix between cleaning product and abyssal mass, making Childe’s nose scrunch up in disgust when he pulled off the eyepatch. He loathed having to be this close to the other harbinger and a shiver went through his spine when Il Dottore came closer and grabbed his chin, tilting his head sideways. The blue-haired man’s grip on his chin was tight, too tight for the other’s liking.
Childe really didn’t want to answer, but alas, the doctor would complain by Her Majesty that he wasn’t cooperating and he didn’t want to get scolded by Her. “I’ve been alright..” He answered, groaning softly when Il Dottore’s fingers dug into his skin. “Can you no grab my chin so fucking forceful?” He muttered, feeling fingers around his left eyes. He could never get used to the feeling of someone poking around his eye.
Il Dottore laughed right in his face, his smirk wide and pressed Childe down on the bed. His face was even close than before and his nails dug down, holding the other place. “Why don’t you shut up for me and let me do my job?” The doctor respond, equally annoyed. “Glad you decided to hold your tongue for once.” He grouched when the ginger shut up and the tension in the room only grew while he examined the fatuus’ eye. Now, it was way too quiet and Childe was left to his thoughts. He decided to focus on his own breathing, it was too rapid because of his internal conflict with himself.
Even though there were no threats, the ginger was still on edge. His body was jolting at every noise and movement, ready to transform into foul legacy if needed. He’d been feeling this for around twenty years now, constantly making sure he was safe. It was obviously fatiguing to him mentally and physically, making him unfocused. The Tsaritsa was well aware of his condition and She hasn’t dispatched him on a mission for three years now.
She instead, sent him ‘home’ and Childe couldn’t even call that home anymore. Morepesok was still a small seaside village where the fishing industry never bloomed and most of his family members moved out except for Anthon, who stepped into their father’s footsteps and became an adventurer. Tonia moved away from Snezhnaya to live with her wife in Inazuma and Teucer became a famous toy seller. He’d no idea where his older siblings went, so he assumed they’d a fulling live and died peacefully. His mother died of an uncurable illness and his father just, disappeared from Teyvat. It was to be expected, because of his nature being a traveller that the old man would vanish.
A couple of knocks on the door could be heard and Il Dottore’s fingers left his face, thank the Tsaritsa and the other turned his head around, watching the door open.
“Ah, Pierro, just in time.” He greeted, stepping aside for the first harbinger.
The Jester was the first to note the changes that were happening to Childe, pulling him aside one day for a talk. The ginger was utterly naïve about his growing condition, confused when the older man mentioned his eye.
Since then, the fatuus had to hide it and only the Tsaritsa, Il Dottore and Pierro were aware of it.
“How’s the condition?” Pierro came closer and the doctor moves away, letting him look closer. Childe hated being in the presentence of the two high ranked harbingers, both of them had a strong atmosphere around themselves and the Jester’s abyssal taint was strong, overpowering his own. At least the Khaenri'ahn was nice enough not to grip his chin like it was going to walk away, tilting his head closer. “It was the same last month” Il Dottore spoke while Pierro checked his eye, frowning. “So, it hasn’t changed..” The older man trailed off and Childe couldn’t read his expression. “I’m glad it hasn’t.” He let go the ginger’s chin go and leaned backwards, looking at what Il Dottore was writing down.
Childe watched him whisper something in the blue-haired man’s ears and together they left the room without saying anything, leaving the ginger alone. He let out a deep sigh, rubbing his abyss tainted eye and groaned. Check-ups were always unnecessary long for some reason and so uncomfortable, it was unbearable when Il Dottore grabbed him so tightly.
It made him recall how a high-ranked fatui office grabbed his chin when he was still a young diplomat, laughing in his face about how weak and frail his thin his body looked. Of course, the fatuus taught them a lesson, showing them he was not the one he should be messed with but still, even after 65 years, those words it still hurt. He placed his hands on his lap, waiting for the other two harbingers to come back. It wasn’t the first time he’d been left alone in this room by Il Dottore.
His leg couldn’t stop bouncing up and down, wondering what Il Dottore and Pierro were discussing. Childe knew it was about him, obviously. It irritated him that he wasn’t allowed to look in his own documents, he dreadfully wanted to know what the others were conversing about. Was it good that his eye hadn’t changed in weeks? When he checked himself out in the mirror that morning the skin around it still felt the same and his vision wasn’t blurred.
The door opened and Mirror Maiden came instead, one that the fatuus instantly recognised as one of the Tsaritsa’s closest. She simply handed him a letter before stepping into a Mirror Portal, closing it behind her, leaving a baffled Childe.
It’d had been a few years since he’d spoken to Tsaritsa or, someone incredibly intimate to Her. She started excluding Herself from the harbingers when Pantalone passed away and only communicated through the first harbinger. That lucky bastard was the one that had to give out orders while he’d to sit down and wait until he was ‘released’ from his long-lasting break. With a small hydro knife, he cut open the letter, eyes moving fast over the piece of letter.
His eyes went wide when he read the content of the letter, staring at the words ‘mission in Liyue’. He reread the letter a couple of times, completely in disbelief. The Tsaritsa was sending him on a mission to Liyue to oversee the Northland Bank.
He was going to Liyue.
That meant a possible interacting with Zhongli, whom he hasn’t spoken to in half a century.
Oh fuck.
Childe watched how Liyue Harbour came closer at the ship’s railing, feeling anxious. He hadn’t spoken with the ex-archon in so long except for the occasional birthday letter but he’d stopped sending those forty years ago, too busy following the Tsaritsa’s orders regrettably. It took a lot of time to write each letter, wanting to put every single thing that had happened in his days.
His body itched for a well-deserved fight but he held himself back, not until a couple of days had passed at least.
He turned around, walking to his small cabin. The ginger was getting impatient but he’d to endure it. He stepped inside and locked the wooden door behind him. A part of him was excited to see the harbour again but another part dreaded it, multiple what if ran through his head. What if Zhongli wasn’t using his mortal disguise and instead was using another, that Childe wouldn’t recognise? So many unanswered questions went through his head and he sat down at his desk, rubbing his forehead.
Once the boat boarded Liyue Harbour, he should send someone to Bubu Pharmacy for some medicine for his growing headache. It was a side effect of the prescription Il Dottore gave him to lessen his abyssal taint effect.
Even though most mortals couldn’t technically feel his abyssal taint, strong vision bearers and the adepti could. Childe gave people an uneasy feeling, as if something bad was about to happen. Of course, nothing would happen but people tended to avoid him so they wouldn’t feel anxious. Even his own subordinates did it, not noticing they were evading him and he didn’t blame them. He was the same around Pierro, the first harbinger’s smelled so sweet when he met the other for the first time he threw up, reminded by the dreadful place.
“My lord?” A muffled voice called out his name. Reluctantly, Childe stood up and moved to the door, opening it. “The ship is about to dock the harbour, please prepare yourself.” One of subordinates spoke and the ginger nodded in response, pressing his lips together. He closed the door behind him and dragged a hand across his face, sighing softly.
Right, preparing himself.
He already felt out of place as he walked over the gangway, seeing how Liyue’s busy harbour hadn’t changed. His long winter coat was neatly folded in one of his cases and he’d to dig into his closet to find his old uniform. Thankfully, it was still in the precise condition he’d left it as and it still felt like a second skin when he put it on. The red scarf Tonia crocheted was hadn’t fallen apart and was still wearable. He adjusted his eyepatch, making sure it wouldn’t slip off his face because of his sweat and plastered a friendly smile on his face.
In the first time, he actually felt nervous. Even though his steps appeared steady and swift, his hands were shaking like crazy, he could feel every sweat drop dribbling down his face and each hair on his head.
Although Liyue Harbour also brought a sense of familiarity with it, a comforting presence. It gave him good memories to look back one. Zhongli and him spent hours walking across the docks, the ex-archon telling countless stories about the past and present. He recalled how beautiful the sea looked in the night, the moon illuminated the dark depths of the ocean.
And Zhongli looked stunning under the moonlight, the blue light brightened his features handsomely. His amber hair seemed even to glow brighter too, a detail Childe adored.
He accidently bumped into something while daydreaming about the consultant, hearing a soft ‘oof’. The ginger looked downwards and his eyes went wide, seeing how Guoba grumbled until it noticed him, perking up. “Guoba!” Childe lowered his body, placing a hand on the bear’s head, wondering if it recognised him. Luckily for him, it did and it made some happy noises, jumping up and down.
A small smile appeared on the fatuus face and he laughed softly, petting the bear. “Hello there buddy, I haven’t seen you in a long time.” He said and removed his hand from its head only for Guoba to grab it again, pulling him with it to Tsaritsa knows where. His back arched from bowing down as he got dragged, the bear had a happy bounce in its step. If he’d to guess where Guoba was bringing him it must be to Wanmin Restaurant.
Childe was right and Guoba let go off his hands, running into the restaurant, making a lot of noise to bring attention it. He sat down at one of the tables, catching his breath and noted the layout hadn’t changed in a half a century except for the table decorations. With a napkin, he dried off his forehead that was drenched in sweat and adjusted his eyepatch, wanting to rub into his eye.
It seemed nobody except him was in the restaurant. There was however some commotion in the kitchen and presumed Guoba was pull that person to him. The bear was surprisingly pretty strong and his back ached slightly because he’d to bow down.
“Guoba, what’s wrong? Where are you leading me?” A very familiar voice although it sounded older rang through the room and Childe turned his head to see the bear drag Xiangling into the room. The girl, now older woman, looked confused around until she saw him sitting there. Her eyes lit up excitedly and she let go of Guoba, stumbling over to Childe, who stood up and walked to her. “Mister Childe, is that really you?” Her voice was trembling with enthusiasm.
He supported her by letting her grab onto his arms and he sat her down, Guoba happily hopped behind her. “It is you!” She repeated and Childe couldn’t help but smile brightly at that. He was glad to see her alive and well. “It’s good to see you again, Xiangling.” He nodded to her, folding his hands in his lap. He still had the imagine of a young, eager girl in his head and it took him a moment to get used to seeing her much older. Despite her age, she still looked like she was thriving and cheerful.
She clapped her hands together and quickly stood up again, without a stumble. “Let me cook you something! Would you like what you’d as always?” Xiangling asked and Childe smiled in response, nodding. “If possible, yes.” Black-back perch stew was probably his favourite dish in the restaurant and the younger woman had the perfect recipe for it. It used to be his to go with rice buns when Zhongli and him ate at the restaurant.
Xiangling nodded, mentally noting what he wanted and she instantly turned around, only twisting her head to look at him. “One bowl of Black-back perch stew, a teapot with fresh brewed green tea and some rice buns coming up!” She recited and had an exciting bounce in her step, just like Guoba.
Said bear, jumped into his lap and demanding pets, which Childe gladly obliged to. While petting Guoba, he looked around, noticing small changes in the restaurant. As an example, each table had both chopsticks and a fork and knife. It was good that now could use chopsticks without being afraid to snap them, a skill he could finally use after years of struggling. A couple of new painting were hung on the wall as decoration and the ginger wondered who painted them, as they all seemed to be drawn in the same style.
He pondered what more had changed and softly sighed. It felt weird to see everything and everyone around him change except him, he was stuck in the same body, stuck in the same position.
A frown appeared on his face and he could feel his eyepatch move when his brows furrowed, slowly stopping petting Guoba. One day, Xiangling would pass away too. Guoba’s noises made him a bit aware of himself, there was no time to think about death now, it was an issue when it was time. He continued petting the bear, the frown quickly disappearing at how cute it was and a smile replaced it.
The motion lasted until Xiangling came back with a server tray filled with multiple dishes and a pot of tea. She sat everything down when she arrived, putting down the teapot first. “I also brought my lunch if you don’t mind if I eat with you.” She let out a giggle and laid down the serving tray on another table. Guoba jumped off his lap as he moved the chair so that he could sit better at the table, grabbing the pair of chopsticks. He should’ve brought his dragon and phoenix chopsticks if he knew he was going to have lunch.
Xiangling brought a plate universal peace for herself and it seemed she added more carrots for herself. Childe laid the chopsticks down for her and grabbed the teapot, smelling vegetal scent of the tea. Oh, he’d missed this, if only Zhongli could be here too. He filled her teacup first, pouring in the tea slowly. He was a bit rusty and because of his shaky hands, he almost spilled it but managed to hold his hands still enough to fill his cup too.
“Well then, let’s enjoy our lunch!” Xiangling spoke up, her smile seemed tired all of the sudden. It made sense, she probably was around 65 years old. He took a bite of his stew, enjoying the tender fish fillets that melted in his mouth. “So, how have you been this past half century?” He wiped his mouth clean with a napkin as he asked, some of the red broth stained his cracked lips. Its spicy broth stung. Xiangling looked up from her food, her cheeks puffed up, making her wrinkles disappear. She swallowed and smiled brightly while she gave Guoba a rice bun. “I’ve been travelling all across Teyvat to find the best dishes to add to menu.” The question seemed to excite her.
She was quite animated when she told what happened in her life and he gladly listened with interest. She decided to settle down from her travels after chef Mao died, taking over the restaurant. Guoba had been fine in those years, staying with madame Ping apparently when she was gone.
Childe finished his stew, feeling how his cracked clips tingled from the spice and was sipping on his tea. Xiangling was still chewing down her food, her grip on the chopsticks was shaky but he didn’t say anything. She looked at him, intensely while she took a bite of her rice bun.
“You know, mister Zhongli still come to eat here.” The woman mentioned and Childe felt his face get warm and he awkwardly adjusted his eyepatch, a bit shocked. “He does..?” Hope glistered in Childe’s eyes and the woman laughed, holding up her hand in front of mouth. “Master Childe, I maybe was young when I saw you two but I could easily see you were in love with mister Zhongli.” She spoke and ate her last bite, giving Guoba her last rice bun.
The ginger let out a deep sigh he didn’t know he was holding in, smiling softly at Xiangling’s words. “Was I that obvious?” He chuckled and filled his cup for the last time, shaking his head. “I actually haven’t had contact with him in like.. Forever.” He admitted and the dark-haired woman gasped, standing up. “Then what are you doing here? Visit him master Childe!” She said excitedly, pulling his chair away and clapping in here hands. He, unwillingly stood up with a red face and when he did, her hands instantly were on his back, shoving him out of the restaurant. Guoba was bouncing around his leg, trying to help her.
Her breath was heavy as she pushed the blushing fatuus outside and she instantly leaned onto the wall when they were outside, pointing towards Wangsheng Funeral Parlour. “Go visit it now!! You pining loser!”
With those words, Childe started walking towards the funeral parlour, worry growing in his body.