Chapter 1: PART ONE - Apollonian
Chapter Text
Part Ⅰ - the 𝒜pollonian
❝Restraint, reason and harmony❞
What more could you want in a child?
Chapter 2: Not very nice, are you? - 1938
Notes:
hope you enjoy this story ! i decided to edit it so if u saw this before no u didnt ;) this is much better i promise.
oh and fuck jk rowling ofc
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
September 1st 1938
(First Year)
Jennifer sat at an empty table, looking around at all the other kids, some seemed to already know each other, but others were standing about, cheeks pink much like her. She wasn't shy, per se, but she wouldn't go start a conversation unless she felt an innate need to, which did not happen.
She felt as if she should know them. Her parents were quite popular at school in their time, but they were most likely far too old to know the other kids' parents. They were in their 40s already, even most of her cousins were at least 10 years older. Although there was some exceptions, she liked the older ones because they always had so much to share. She felt as if she knew a lot about Hogwarts, even having never been there. It was sad they never wished to play dolls with her, but she managed by herself.
What school had been to her for the past 5 years was a private tutor. Definitely not a social setting. She'd have more luck conversing with the Seventh Years, she realized, but no way she'd come up to anyone in that year. They definitely didn't want to see, much less hear of a First Year.
It had been such a busy day. She could hardly keep hold of her thoughts. Her mind only kept replaying the moment her parents dropped her off.
Her mother had told her, “you ought to behave, Jennifer, first impressions are strong.” She didn’t understand why because she didn’t remember the first time she saw most people in her life. They also told her to not talk back to any of the adults, and to always mention her family name when suitable, she understood that part. The whole conversation was engraved in her brain, would be for most of the First Year, she was sure. Most specifically, the part where her father leaned in to kiss her on the forehead and said, “good luck, Jen.” Then, her mother snorted which was usually accompanied by a roll of eyes.
She told her father, “she's growing up, Hurbert, she needs to understand that luck does not and will never exist. As long as she does as told, nothing bad will happen,” she turned to Jennifer then and her jaw slightly clenched, “why, she knows bloody well what would happen if she didn't.”
Her dad caressed her arm as he nodded at his wife. “It’s her first day, don’t be so harsh on the girl.” Margeret, her mum, rolled her eyes at him and started looking around to find other parents to talk to. They all laughed very loudly. Her dad stayed with her until the train arrived, telling her about his first day. Jenny was so nervous she hardly caught much of what he said.
Then, before she knew it, he was waving at her, face dressed with a smile. In comparison, her mum’s lips slightly turned up, but no joy there. The doom settled as she realised that'd be the last time she'd see him for a few months, she didn't feel responsible enough for that. She needed more time.
She had been quiet all ride. Said hello to the kids who greeted her, it was hard remembering what the names were, her mum had taught her all about the most important ones and she smiled more brightly at the ones that rang a bell. Lestrange, check. Fawley, check. Avery, check.
Every kid was behaving so... wildly. But as she observed and observed, there was certainly one kid who stood out the most for her, one that wasn't making a big fuss out of anything, he simply stood there, looking at everyone. She thought maybe his parents told him to behave, too. His hair was dark brown or black and shiny, his eyes brown — or maybe green, she wasn’t sure, overall he didn’t look bad. Eventually, he caught her staring and shot her a glare, which made her widen her eyes. That wasn't very nice.
She thought it over, if she should go over to say anything or not. It'd be quite scary to do so as he didn't have a very pleasant, welcoming look in the first place. But did he think he could just eye her like that? Did he not know who she was? Unless he was some Mudblood, he had to. As she was debating whether or no to, he shot another glance, his lips quirking after in a resemblance of a smile.
She haughtily got out of the soft sofa she was sitting on and walked over to him. He raised his head as soon as she stood next to the table in front of his sofa. “Excuse me. Why did you look at me like that?”
Her voice annoyed him, it was high-pitched and girly. Maybe he could break her arm when they were alone in the school, or put a spider in her food. He knew pretty girls were scared of almost anything. But, no, he couldn't. Things weren't like at the orphanage, it was more important there. He could feel the upper-classness all around. He certainly wasn't used to standing next to those types of people and they all brought him so sort of anger.
“It's disrespectful not to answer back,” she stated, straightening herself. That girl, especially, was angering him.
She stood like an adult, with great posture and lean. Not from hunger as most kids he knew. No, he could smell the money from miles away. Not just in the way her floral perfume made his nostrils itch. Her hair was a light blonde and wavy, stopping at her shoulders. Her eyes were blue and piercing as he could easily see her pupils. She'd last a day before breaking if she stepped foot on the orphanage he came from. “You look posh,” he stated, looking away from her to the empty seat in front of him.
She raised her eyebrows and took the seat he was looking at. “I don’t see how that’s an insult.”
"Then, why do you look insulted?" he questioned.
She was taken aback from his question, doe-eyed and pretty. "How would you know if I am?"
"I can read people."
The girl tilted her head. "You're not very nice, are you?"
"What makes you think that?" he asked, voice dripped with sarcasm. "Y'know, it's not always preferable to be nice. People will expect too much from you."
"Your parents won't complain if you aren't nice?" she questioned.
He shrugged. Tom didn't need anyone in there knowing he was an orphan. Not yet, at least. He didn't have a death wish.
“Your parents must spank you every day,” she let out.
“Do yours?” he queried, raising an eyebrow.
Jennifer looked down and he recognised that look. The question had hurt her, it brought some satisfaction to him knowing it. Posh little girl had something to be sad about. “What else would they do when I misbehave?” she wondered.
"I suppose you're right."
She sighed. “I'm Jennifer Garrick,” she introduced.
He hummed in agreement. “I'm Tom Riddle."
Jennifer chuckled. “Nice name. Tell me a riddle, Riddle.”
He looked at her with darker eyes than before. “Sure.” Quite an original joke, he had certainly never heard it before.
She cleared her throat. “Well, Riddle, I'm definitely getting into Slytherin, my family has been there for generations.” She leaned back on the seat and smiled at him.
Tom hummed again. “Good for you.” He wasn't sure what the houses were all about yet, but if that was how all the Slytherins acted like, he wouldn't find that one very enjoyable.
“It is, you see, Purebloods are known for getting into Slytherin. They're simply the best... cunning, ambitious ― better than any stupid Muggleborn kids," she finished off with a chuckle.
"I know that, of course," he lied. "Do you think Muggleborns are worth less than you?" he asked. He wasn't sure what she meant with any of those big words she had used, but not a bad time to learn.
Jennifer moved her head back at his question, as if he said something extremely odd. "Why, of course! Are they not to you? Are your parents Muggles? I don't recognise that last name, Riddle."
"No, of course not. They aren't from here, that's all."
"Right. If you were, this would be quite awkward. I don't think I want to associate with any of... those."
"I get that, Garrick. Doesn't make any sense to, does it?"
"Absolutely not, they are a threat to our world ― that's what mum always says. She's probably right ― it makes sense. Why would they even acquire magical powers? The moment they started being accepted in here, our society has worsened, and it keeps doing so, believe me. I think they plan on taking over us, aligning themselves with Muggles to cut us open and see what this magic is all about.”
Tom furrowed his eyebrows. Right.
Jennifer cleared her throat and flipped her hair behind her shoulder. “Do you like my hair?” she asked, shifting conversations. Tom couldn't blame her.
He looked at her hair and wasn't sure what to say, she had short blonde hair with nearly perfect waves that stopped at her shoulders. How did people evaluate hair? “Looks nice.”
“My mother had it cut, she said it would make me look more... ladylike,” she told, “I think that's stupid. I liked how it was.”
He never thought he would be talking about hair. He had cut the hair from girls that annoyed him, Jennifer was starting to become a candidate. “Well, you can always grow it for the next months, maybe she'll like it when you come back.”
She nodded. “I'm sure she will just force me to cut it again.”
He wished she would stop talking to him. “You never know.”
She looked out the window again to enjoy the view. As she did Tom noticed a dark mark on her neck, a few actually, he recognised the finger marks. Had someone choked her? There was a weird feeling on his chest for half a second, but it went away, so he didn’t question it.
He hoped he never saw her again.
As they arrived at the castle, Tom couldn't believe he was there, that he was special enough. He quite literally had nothing, no house, no family, no one who cared about him and no one he cared about. The school materials were paid for and he didn't understand how they were second hand, they were still more pristine than anything he ever owned. He managed to find robes that fit him perfectly and he wasn't really sure what the different brooms meant, but he didn't care.
The wizards were very oblivious to the outside world, it seemed, or maybe they just didn't care. He and everyone in Britain felt the threat of war with Germany nearly everyday. Many lived off the streets and he was sure that'd be him too after he was off age. People were starving and he was somehow lucky from that, as the orphanage wasn't a poor one. For wizards there was an entire castle to send their kids off to. Their kids wouldn't have to starve, roam the streets and beg for money. They lived free and happy, no threat of having to work to help their families.
Still, there was some gloom in the air. There too were talks of war in the wizarding world. But nothing that affected them the way he saw out there. They'd never see and feel the real danger Tom had.
Even though he didn't starve, there had been workers he had to scare off. Some that would beat the kids or do even worse. As long as it wasn't him again, he wouldn't paid it much mind. And they dared to tell him hurting others kids was wrong, that he was mental and a nutcase for saying he could do things none of them could. How was he supposed to think it was wrong when he saw them doing the same? Even worse. They understood the same way he did why it felt so good. He liked to feel powerful and that he won over all of them.
And he did.
Now at Hogwarts would he have to stop?
How could he again feel better than kids who had magical powers just like him. Who even had the luck of having magical parents that explained to them growing up how it all worked. He had to learn it all alone. He didn't want to be a nobody, he didn't like the thought of not being the smartest or the most talented.
Tom would have to prove he wasn't.
As the sorting ceremony went on he realised that, apparently, no matter how annoying she sounded, that girl Jennifer wasn't as wrong as he wished she was. He watched her be sorted into Slytherin in a second if not less. Her cheeks going far up from the smile she let out. When it was his turn it was nerve wrecking.
The sorting hat, as they called it, was as fast if not faster with him than he was with Jennifer. He found it odd, as he didn't even understand what being a Slytherin entailed. There were cheers coming from the other Slytherins, but he didn't know any of them.
As he walked to sit back down, he smiled to the other kids. When he passed Garrick, she looked him up and down. Her gaze was different. She didn't seem as shy and put together, there was a challenge there.
She felt like a threat.
Notes:
hoped you liked this chapter !
Chapter 3: I'm not scared of snakes - 1938
Chapter Text
September 15th 1938
(First Year)
Hogwarts was as interesting as it had been described to her throughout the years. But, more interesting were the seemingly few and great places surrounding it. There was a place called the Forbidden Forest and Jennifer always wondered since she was little who'd name a place something that made her want to go check why it was forbidden. There was a lake that they crossed on their first day by boat, and for Jenny, having never seen many bodies of water growing up, it was enchanting. She had a dream to see the beach someday, but it was not anytime soon, she knew.
There was of course the Quidditch Stadium, and the more she saw the students play the less she wanted to see of it. It was very boring, and she hated the flying lessons they had, she couldn't wait to drop them at the end of the year.
But, all the other classes, oh, they were great. She loved every subject, she spent nearly every day at the library since school started, and it had only been two weeks. She paid no mind to the other mundane tasks people were entertaining themselves with, like chatting. She had no wish to talk with anyone there. They all seemed very boring. She couldn't stand boring.
They knew less than her, and that was a rarity, she was used to everyone surrounding her always knowing more.
Unfortunately, that was a problem and very noticeable, especially by her Transfiguration professor, who sighed as she went up to him again to ask follow-up questions after class.
"Miss Garrick," he greeted.
She smiled at being recognised, it felt important and she had to tell her mother, she was sure that'd finally make her impressed. It had to be impressive, right?
"Professor Dumbledore, I've been reading the book for this discipline, and there was this part about transfiguration into animals," she started.
He nodded along, closing the book he had opened on his own desk. "Students always seem fascinated about that, yes."
"Right, but I knew about it before, of course, my parents have loads of books," she cleared her throat before she could babble further, "and, it said that you should never perform it on yourself because if you transform into that animal you'll become of less intelligence, as if you're now of that species."
"Affirmative."
"Good. So, one, with the correct abilities can transform the person back anytime?"
"Yes," he confirmed.
"Meaning you don't have to be good at Transfiguration to be changed into an animal," she said.
He nodded. "It does imply that, of course."
"So anyone can change someone else into an animal if they want to."
He looked away from his desk to the girl in front of him. She gulped as he tilted his head at her. "I don't think a First Year should be worrying about that right now, you'll only learn about Human Transfiguration in the Sixth Year, Miss Garrick. For now, you should worry about Avifors spells, which are already of great difficulty for the wizards your age."
She nodded. "So Sixth Years can turn us into animals?"
Jenny noticed as the corners of his lips turned up and he disguised a possible laugh with a cough as he turned his head to the side. "Umm, t-they won't... I hope."
"And if they do? How would anyone even know we're an animal? Would they think we simply quit Hogwarts?" she questioned.
He shook his head. "No, we'd contact your parents, of course, and try to look for you, we'd definitely find out, don't worry, Miss Garrick. Besides, I teach my students that such transfiguration is to be handled with care, and if something is to go wrong they are at risk of being kicked out, of course."
"So, if we practice Human Transfiguration before the Sixth Year, do we get kicked out?" she asked.
"We'd have to investigate what the circumstances were, but not instantly- Although, if you were to do it I assume it wouldn't be a flawless spell, therefore the possible complications which could lead to you being kicked out."
Jennifer nodded along. "Can more skilled wizards at Transfiguration merely transform themselves back after being turned?"
"If by themselves, I'm sure they had the intent to remain conscious of the act, therefore they can, yes. It is a skill to be practised carefully and thoroughly as almost any in this school," he said.
"I see, I think I understand," she replied.
He nodded with a smile. "I'm glad."
She turned around to start getting out of the classroom but Professor Dumbledore called her again, so she turned around.
"Don't mind my question, but have you made friends so far, Miss?" he asked.
She wondered if his question came from her staying after class so often, and it left her with an ache in her heart that she was doing something wrong, or annoying him. "I'm not that interested in anyone so far."
"At this stage, it is best to greet everyone and pick the friends after, I shall advise you."
Jennifer looked away from his stare. "I just don't ―"
"I taught your mother, did you know?"
She looked back at him with raised eyebrows. "I mean, I assume so, if you've been a Professor for a long time." He didn't look old, though.
"Yes. And your father too, of course, but she always stood out. Especially as a new professor, she was quite the package at times."
She did imagine her mother as "quite the package".
"I taught defence against the dark arts back then, just as valuable and dangerous," he said.
Jenny chuckled as she could imagine her mum as a snobby know-it-all, much like she wished to be. She wanted people to think she was more than them, at all times, not just stupid, young and impressionable Hogwarts students. She definitely wanted the professors to think of her as special and talented. A part of Jennifer did too, so she couldn't blame her.
"And your mother, she also wasn't much for socializing. Whether she didn't care to or it was hard for her. Either way, I could see the effect it had after a long time."
"Say, wasn't she quite popular back then?" she questioned.
"Yes, but for the wrong reasons. You see, people clung to her more out of fear than out of love, and friendships should always be made out of love. There shouldn't be any fear in them," he said.
"If she became a Prefect, she couldn't have been as awful as you speak." Why was she defending her mother? She wouldn't do the same for her.
"She didn't do anything wrong that I could pin point. But I'm not naive, I assume she taunted quite a few kids from other Houses. Her need to become a Prefect and a Head Girl came from the wish to dominate others, that I could definitely tell. But my opinion hardly mattered as I was new to the school."
Jennifer never heard anyone speak so much of her mother as she saw her. They usually said nice things, which she found to be untruthful most times. No, she was not pleasant, or nice, nor she had much knowledge to share, she was always on guard and guarding.
"All this to say, I see her in you now, and I'm sure you want more than that. You can be a great witch like she was and surely still is but be able to grasp people's admiration. There's no need to take the dark path when the light one is much clearer."
She furrowed her eyebrows. It didn't seem easier, it seemed much harder. Both did in fact. She only wished to know, there was hardly any vengeance for power within her. She knew her faith was not a great one, but she liked to learn, and that was enough at that moment.
"Y'know, I see a lot of similarities between you and Mr. Riddle. Do you know him?" he asked as he grabbed his book and bag.
Jennifer nodded. Besides that confusing talk they had on the first day, she saw him a lot at the library. He too seemed to be a loner, and she wondered if he gave him that same speech, but she had a feeling that he didn't. They hadn't talked much, but both sat close together and it was quite comforting because she knew he was just as focused as she.
"Well, you two could entertain those questions of yours together so I can possibly start arriving in time for my next class," he said with a laugh as he started to walk towards the exit.
She faked a smile. "Thank you, professor."
"You're welcome, Miss. Garrick."
September 20th 1938
(First Year)
As Jennifer entered the library after one more day of class she gulped. She knew the place well already, and it gave her no fears, but as she looked at the boy Tom Riddle sitting at one of the tables she grew anxious. Professor Dumbledore had basically told her to get friends because he was tired of her and as much as it hurt she wasn't a baby, so she could do it.
As she dropped her things next to him he instantly looked up to check who had shown up next to him. "Hey," she greeted, and it sounded odd, it was too nice, unlike their previous interaction. "It's Tom Riddle, right?" she asked, even though she knew it perfectly.
"Yes. You're Jennifer Garrick, correct?"
"Why, you do remember our talk on the train?" She sat down on the chair next to his.
"It was two weeks ago. I do consider myself of a great memory."
He had said it with a little twitch on his lips of annoyance. Did she annoy him? She hadn't considered their previous interaction bad. She didn't know much about what a normal conversation would be, she didn't get to talk to many people besides her family. She was stupidly aware of how weird it was. "So do I," she replied.
He gave a small scoff. "Maybe so. You did remember my name, Garrick."
He insisted on calling her Garrick, it was very respectable, unlike the way he presented and held himself. But she wouldn't directly question it. "So, what are you doing, Riddle?"
He looked down at the book in front of him. "Studying History of Magic. It's quite boring, I must say."
"Oh, I don't think so. I enjoy it."
"No one ever enjoys learning about history."
Jennifer could feel the boredom in the air during History classes, but she never quite understood it. Why didn't they want to learn about the past? It was fun. "Well, I guess I'm no one."
He nodded. "Still, I find it quite easy to learn, don't get me wrong. Like I said before," he pointed to his temple, "good memory."
"I mean, anything's easy to learn if you put your mind to it. That's what my parents always said."
Riddle nodded and fiddled with the page of the book in front of him. She wondered if he got that study ethic from his parents too.
"Unfortunately, though, the library is quite high. I very much dislike that. It feels as if they hate Slytherins."
Tom snorted. "It's the same distance for all houses, right?"
"I know, but what do we even have next to our common room? The kitchen? Hufflepuff still has it closer. Whoever designed this hated us, I'm telling you."
"I believe it was a shared project."
Jenny rolled her eyes. Of course, she knew that. "Well, there could've been more sharing going on between them. Why are we even so close to the Hufflepuffs?" she asked, cringing her face.
"I don't mind," he muttered. "They're quiet."
"And don't get me started on the no light, always cold aspect. It's like we're actual snakes."
"Do you dislike snakes?" he asked, his voice getting deeper at that.
"You say that like I should. I mean they're a bit creepy, are they not?"
Riddle stared at her for a few seconds, his expression paralyzed. "They won't hurt you if you don't bother them."
"I very much doubt that. If they weren't scary people wouldn't be scared of them."
He chuckled. "I'm not scared of snakes. I quite like them. How do you explain that?"
She shrugged. She never met someone who actually liked snakes. "Maybe you can relate to them. I don't know you well enough to make any assessment."
"Wouldn't that be an insult based on your earlier statement? Are you saying I'm creepy and scary?"
Jennifer eyed him. He didn't seem any of those things. He had quite soft features and at worst a "leave me alone" aura, but he wasn't pushing her away yet. "I am not. But I think I'm correct."
He also eyed her. She didn't like how that felt, it made her tighten nearly every muscle in her body. It was weird being perceived in any way. "Maybe you are. I like how they survive on their own and don't need others. Even the young they leave off to fend for themselves. I suppose that's why us Slytherins got quite the reputation we do. They can't imagine being this talented without needing a thousand people to congratulate you or help you."
"I get that, yes. But I'd say the people part is bad example. People really love partying and socialising here."
"That's a good type of interaction, though."
"Why do you care about the parties?"
"Forces me to care. You should do the same." She didn't understand what that meant, but she didn't feel the need to prod.
"I haven't seen any," she said.
He flipped a page. "You go to sleep early, Garrick."
"Am I supposed to be going to class sleep-deprived?" she asked with a scoff.
"No one cares for bookworms, you're looking like a Ravenclaw," he said.
She turned to the side, facing him. "Excuse me, Mr. that I see every day at the library as well."
"At least people like me."
"Does anyone dislike me?" she wondered.
"No because you don't even get to know them."
She opened her mouth to reply, but he spoke first.
"Do you even talk to the girls at your dorm?" he asked. No, she did not.
Jennifer shrugged. "I know their names, but besides pleasantries, they don't seem that interesting." Neither was he, for that matter. But she trusted professors, they taught her everything after all.
"Dorothea is nice to hang with, I can't talk for the others. She is very chatty, you two would get along well," he said. He said her first name unlike hers. Were they that close in 2 weeks?
"How do you know who my dorm mates are?" she asked.
Riddle flipped another page and it annoyed her, how could he talk to her and be reading at the same time? "Because I actually talk, Garrick."
Jennifer rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Don't be so mad, just talk more," he said.
For some reason that made her want to socialise even less, and she wasn't sure why Dumbledore said she and Tom were similar, she found him to be one of the know-it-all types. But, it also left her needing more conversations with him so she could know more and understand why in Merlin's names he liked snakes. If she was ever able to.
Maybe.
Chapter 4: A kissing game - 1937/1938
Chapter Text
November 19th 1937
(Before Hogwarts)
It was some sort of a special day. It was her birthday, which usually was better than the other days in her life, but there were people over at her house. It wasn't the people that were the problem in specific. Her parents did like to have guests over, but having relatives over was a whole other deal. For that reason, she didn't see her relatives very often.
Her parents didn't act that much nicer, but they did act differently. She preferred that version of them, even if snarky, her mum wouldn't be too much. No one seemed particularly bothered of how they acted so she imagined it must normal. It didn't feel okay or good, but nothing ever really did, did it?
Even though it was her birthday, it wasn't much about her anymore. They weren't even pretending.
Odores, her aunt, had started it that time. A rare occurrence, but things seemed to go much worse when it was her provoking her mother. “I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't get the letter."
Margaret scoffed. "She will get it. Although, quite late, I simply know she will."
"You call this late?" Odores questioned with a chuckle. "Has she ever even done magic?"
"Mother," her cousin Wanda said in a warning tone. She was older, over age, and was the only one who tried to really defend her. She could say her cousin and father were nicer to her than any other person she knew.
"No, allow your mum to speak," Margaret said. "Are you calling my child useless?"
Odores got up from the sofa she was sitting on. Margaret shortly followed her, her ginger curls bouncing up and down with the motion. "I mean, look at her," she pointed to Jennifer as if she couldn't hear her.
“Well, the opinion of a Hufflepuff couldn't mean less to me right now,” Margaret snapped, keeping her posture straight even in heels. Jenny struggled so much with keeping a straight posture, she tried her best, though.
Ackley, Odores' husband, gulped and gave Jennifer a reassuring smile. “I'm sure you'll get in. At first, we didn't think Wanda would get the letter because she — she was a tough child, she rarely spoke, so we didn't know if she had done magic yet or not, but then — ”
Margaret groaned, interrupting him, “if I have to hear this soapy mop story again, I'll drink to my grave."
Ackley closed his mouth and glanced at Odores who avoided his gaze by looking down at the floor.
Hurbert cleared his throat, calling attention to himself. “The last person to be a... a squib on this family was my — well, our,” he glanced at Margaret who looked away as she placed a hand on her neck, “great-great-great aunt. Not saying this will be her case, of course.”
She didn't understand how they could memorise such things.
“Zada Staghart is someone you do not want to be, my dear,” Jennifer's mother said, chuckling, “the stupid woman killed herself at 16, couldn't handle the pressure — her parents were the ones having to deal with the disappointment of having a squib of a daughter and she was the one feeling,” she raised her hands to quote, “pressure.”
Odores asked, “how do you know that?”
Margaret rolled her eyes, “if you spent more time reading the family's history instead of, whatever it is that you do, you'd know. Even Jennifer knows about this, I make her read important books. She will no doubt be ready for Hogwarts, she'll know everything already.” She looked at Wanda. "Letting your daughter read Muggle books is certainly not the way to go about it."
"You could learn a lot with it, like basic empathy," Odores replied.
"Because you'd know a lot about empathy, would you not?" Margaret remarked.
"My daughter is a Philanthropist, I think I know quite more than you do about it."
Margaret scoffed. "So noble yet with a shaft the same size as on of our guest bedrooms."
Jenny’s uncle glared at Margaret, “don't talk to my wife like that.”
Margaret laughed, it echoed throughout the living room from how tall the ceiling was. "What are you going to do? Doubt you can even do magic.”
Jennifer sighed and looked outside the window as her mother and uncle continued to fight. She got lost as they started fighting about random family members. Her mother insulted Ackley's brother, Evius Whiddon, who was actually married to her dad’s sister which, led Hurbert to start fighting with his wife — something he never succeeded at doing.
As she walked towards the window, to at least enjoy the snowfall, she saw an owl outside with a letter in its mouth, and it rested on a bench outside. She looked at her mother with a smile. “I got the letter, mum.” Her mother didn't hear her, she was standing up with a finger pointed at Ackley while Odores had a wand pointed at her. She sighed. Jennifer walked towards the door that led outside and opened it. She walked towards the owl and took the letter from its mouth. She nodded at it and it flew off; she waved at it as it went.
“What are you doing outside?” Wanda asked.
Jennifer waved the Hogwarts letter at her much older cousin. “I got a letter.”
Wanda ran to her. “Well, open it, Jenny.”
Jennifer opened the letter with a bright smile on her face. She read it carefully as her mother had taught her, and when she read the final words, she looked up at her cousin. “I will be going to Hogwarts next year,” she said, biting her lower lip.
“Oh!” Wanda yelled, rushing to hug her, “I'm so happy for you. I hope you'll get in Slytherin, it fits you so well.”
Jennifer chuckled. She had to get into Slytherin, otherwise, her mother would kill her. Her great-grandparents had gone to Slytherin, her grandparents had gone to Slytherin, her parents had gone to Slytherin, her cousins had gone to Slytherin, and she had to go to Slytherin as well, especially being an only child. “I'm sure I'll get in.”
Wanda pulled back from Jennifer. “Before Hogwarts, I felt so lonely, like I had no purpose, now I feel like a talented witch who no one will mess with — being in Slytherin gave me that. I love how... proud we all were. I loved being there, I hope you do as well, Jenny.”
Jennifer knew that she had to go to Slytherin, however, she felt like she didn't want to compete for anything — she just wanted to do everything fair, to live relaxed for 7 years. She was scared that she would be in Hufflepuff, her mum talked about them like they were the worst house, and she knew her mother was always right.
“You aren't going to be a Hufflepuff,” Wanda said, looking her in the eyes. Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows — she always did that, knew what she was thinking, but she had no idea how. She had heard about it before, but she didn't remember the name of it, it was quite complicated. “And, if you are, it's fine, they're fine. I'm sure your mother would still love you the same."
Jenny was sure they wouldn't.
"You know, my grandparents, my dad's parents, they were both Gryffindors, and they wished to raise their children as such, do you know what happened?”
She shook her head.
“They got a son in each house, the youngest was the Gryffindor. They felt worried at first, but then they realised that...” she chuckled, “you can't force a house on someone, nor can you expect them to be something you want. The houses were a way of the founders to get people in there that they approved of. It's okay to be different.”
Jennifer looked down. Wanda made sense, but why was everyone so obsessed with being a specific house then?
“Let's tell the others before they seriously injure each other,” Wanda said with a laugh. She placed an arm around Jennifer and started walking towards the door. "You know, I think your mum likes you, she’s just really protective.”
Jennifer nodded. “She wants the best for and of me," she repeated what her mother would sometimes tell her.
“I'm certain that she wouldn't truly say those things if she knew they hurt you.”
“Maybe,” Jennifer murmured, faking a smile at Wanda. She was pretty sure she knew it hurt her, and that's why she told them.
Everyone was happy with her letter, and soon the worry was about what house she would be in, she had to deal with that for the next 10 months.
She hoped she'd get into Slytherin.
October 13th 1938
(First Year)
"I'm sure your parents have mentioned at least once Emeric the Evil, but today we'll learn in depth about him and his story. Does anyone know who he is?"
Jennifer instantly raised her hand. She couldn't see how many people raised it too since she was at front, but she assumed not many as the professor's eyes barely scanned around the room before they landed on her.
"Yes, Miss. Garrick. What can you tell us about him?"
She smiled. "He was a Dark Wizard from the Middle Ages. His actions are quite in the name," she chuckled, "he used Dark Magic. Having acquired the Elder Wand he had immense power to terrorise anyone who crossed his way."
She didn't know how one could immense to such power. Dark Magic fascinated her. She knew some things about the Dark Arts mostly because of her parents. Not that they taught her anything, no, she sometimes sneaked at night to her parents' gigantic library. She couldn't memorise anything in it, but everytime she saw a book her eyes were glued to the page.
If all wizards knew those spells the Wizarding community would and could win over the world. Wizards could be themselves regardless of Muggles being suspicious of the existence of magic. Jenny didn't get the apprehension over the usage of Dark Magic. Everyone was too scared of power.
"That is correct. Thank you."
Jenny felt the usual joy of a compliment from a professor. It wasn't a rare event, but she could tell the professors hardly had anyone as knowledgeable as she was. She was mostly the one participating in class. If not for Tom Riddle.
He didn't seem like someone who'd know a lot, she didn't even know what family he came from. But he didn't seem like a Muggleborn. He had quite the pride to him that assured her at least one of his parents was a wizard or witch. There was also the fact he knew a lot, but she knew that came from reading as they still crossed paths in the library.
She hadn't taken his advise to meet people because why would she? But the two of them talked some times and she didn't hate his presence. She couldn't deny he was quite the match intellectually for her.
"The ways he could manipulate magic to his means is quite terrifying and I couldn't even explain to you the methods which he used to hurt others. Not in this year, at least."
She raised her hand. The professor gestured for her to speak. "Could his actions have spurred the Witch-hunts that forth took place?" Jennifer asked.
The professor tilted his head. He seemed to pause to think about her question which either meant it was quite smart or incredibly stupendous. "I'm not sure that's a good correlation. Muggles always had a hard time dealing with magic and us wizards. Their brains couldn't and still can't quite compute it."
"But they must have seen us do bad things to wish to burn us alive."
He looked to the side, raising his hand to rub his beard. "You don't need to do bad things to get them done to you back. Muggles can be evil at times."
"Why have we never tried to persecute them back?" It wasn't her asking that. Jennifer looked to the side to see no other than Tom Riddle. He had asked a question without even raising his hand, but the professor didn't take it badly. He looked at Tom, it was clear he was bewildered with the question, but it was probably something students had said before.
"That's morally incorrect of us to do. Especially considering the advantage we have over them. The same way it wasn't fair of them, it isn't fair for us to replicate what Emeric did. That's the reason we teach you the story, so you know not to do the same mistakes."
"They did it to us even while being inferior," he argued.
The Professor nodded. "And we're superior by not doing it back. We can step back and see it is a bad idea and will only spur more war."
"Isn't that what Grindelwald is doing?" someone in the back asked.
The professor's muscles clenched at the name. She could feel the energy in the air change. It wasn't something wizards wanted to speak about.
"As we can see by Mr. Grindelwald's attempts, murdering innocent people to prove our kind superior is not the way to go about it. There is a reason the Ministry of Magic is trying to hunt him."
She could see something in Tom's face change, but she wasn't sure what it was. It was a sort of realisation. Jennifer didn't fully disagree with the Professor, but by what her mother said at home he was fully wrong. She felt that it was quite idiotic wizards had to hide from "the world" while Muggles got to roam freely through it, unharmed. Wizards went through many loopholes to try to just live. She considered it all stupid.
If wizards were more powerful, they had to right to take over and reign over Muggles. If wars was what made them understand that, so be it.
October 20th 1938
(First Year)
It was one of her usual days at the library. She was sitting next to that boy Tom Riddle and they both were going through some Potions ingredients, asking the other what they meant. Even seeing him everyday she didn't feel close to him, or even a friend. They didn't go into personal matters and neither was bothered by it.
She had to admit, though, that she did feel like a bit of an outsider. Everyone was talking to each other as if they had been friends their entire childhoods and she wished there was anyone she had also known since forever. There was her cousin Mull Rosier, but he didn't pay her much attention. She didn't wish to hang out with him either.
Tom, on the other hand, somehow was starting to get friends. Even if spent just as many time studying as she did and made the exact same expression she did whenever they heard the others talk. She knew there was something about him, it lured her too. He was odd, but he made good conversation. He seemed quite simple, but the most complex person ever at the same time. She couldn't put her finger on why.
"Oy."
Jennifer looked up from one of the papers she had written the name of an ingredient down. It was the black girl that slept on the same dorm as her. She was grinning at her, not even glancing at Tom who was sitting right next to her. Her hands were intertwined in front of her while her shoulders were relaxed.
“Hello?” she greeted, straightening her back.
She dragged the chair in front of Jennifer back to sit in it. “Are you two studying?"
"Unfortunately so," Tom said.
She chuckled. "I don't think we've talked yet," she said at Jennifer, "I'm Willow." She extended her hand over the table for her to shake.
She looked down at it and also stretched her hand to shake hers. She didn't touch other people's hands and it was weird for her to do it. Willow's hands were soft at least. "I know, I'm Jennifer — Garrick," she rapidly added.
“I know.”
She pulled back her hand. “What ― ”
Willow placed her hands on the table, making a loud noise. “Me and my friend, Felicity, we were wondering,” she stretched out the word, "if you wanted to hang with all of us tonight. We do these sort of game nights sometimes." She looked at Tom. "He has come too."
"You should go, they're somewhat fun," he said.
"I don't know if that's really my thing," she objected.
Willow groaned. "We share a dorm, we should all be friends, shouldn't we? Won't that make the next 6 years much nicer?”
"Going to a party won't mean we're friends."
She leaned back. "But when else will you be with us? You're always locked up in here with him. He can't be more fun than us."
Jennifer looked at Tom who didn't seem offended with her remark. He chuckled. "She's right."
Jennifer looked in between them. "Are you going, Riddle?" she asked him.
"Sure."
"One more reason for you to come, Jennifer."
She wasn't still very convinced. She looked down at the papers and fiddled with them. "I don't know."
"We have interesting conversations. Other Years usually talk to us too, they're nice, everyone loves talking about ― you know ― their future jobs, who they fancy and stuff.”
She sighed. "Fine?"
Willow smiled brightly at her. “Alright, Jennifer. See you tonight?"
“Yeah."
Willow nodded. “Good.”
Jennifer glanced at Tom who seemed amused at her expression, whatever that was.
Jennifer sat down on the ground, leaning against one of the couches. It was hard trying to be proper sitting down on the floor. It further proved floors weren't made for sitting. She put her legs to the side and pulled her skirt over her legs. Some girl was telling a story about having seen two professors kissing, it was a highly doubtful story, but it was entertaining she had to give her that.
After a few minutes Willow showed up. She approached her and sat to her right. “Hey.”
She smiled at her.
“Didn't think you'd be here if I'm honest,” Willow confessed, crossing her legs.
“Me neither,” she mumbled, glancing down at the crossed legs. That was something her mom would scold her for if she saw her doing.
“This my friend,” she pointed to the girl who Jenny didn't notice before, “Felicity. The one I talked about"
The girl waved at Jenny. "Can't believe you got her to come!" She seemed surprised and Willow winked at her in reply. "You have powers." She turned to Jennifer. "How are you?"
“Fine,” Jenny replied.
“That's... yeah,” Felicity said, looking back to the girl telling the story. Felicity has brown hair and brown-ish eyes. She wasn't sure if it was the dark lighting that made them darker. Her hair was shiny and very straight. It was very pretty and she felt a bit envious since her hair was unruly and wavy.
Willow chuckled. “She loves to know all the gossip.”
Jennifer nodded and sucked on her bottom lip. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do, she wasn't going to talk, and she had no stories to tell. She looked to her right and saw Felicity completely smitten over the story that girl was saying while Willow was looking at her, shaking her head.
As that girl's story was finished and everyone was shocked and laughing, Willow spoke up. “Had you guys seen Jennifer?” she asked.
Jennifer widened her eyes and looked around. Willow didn't seem to be ashamed of talking over everyone else ― Jennifer wouldn't dare to do such a thing. She was sure everyone would hate her for it.
“She's that annoying girl getting all the questions right at class.” Willow smiled at Jennifer. It felt like an insult, it hurt like one, but Willow wasn't looking at her with malice.
Some people said hello and mostly they laughed at Willow's remarks. She was sure that her cheeks were a dark maroon. She waved to them.
The attention was taken away from her when a group of boys joined the circle, rearranging it. Tom was in it. As she was staring at him, he glanced back, but his facial expression didn't change at all.
“We should play that game we played last week,” a boy of those who joined in, Lestrange, suggested with a smirk.
People complained, mostly the girls.
“What's the game?” Jennifer asked and people were looking at her again.
“Some sort of kissing game,” a girl, a bit older than the others replied.
Felicity snorted, “it's more than a kissing game, Nadia.”
“Basically,” Willow started, getting to her knees, “everyone puts their hand in the middle and the last has to kiss whoever the first to put their hand says.”
Jennifer raised her eyebrows. “Right...” She had never kissed anyone, but she didn't care to do so either. The thought that her mother would disapprove crossed her mind. But she didn't want to seem lame in front of everyone. It was odd that she couldn't care less about anyone in that circle yet she felt the pressure to do it too. “It doesn't seem that bad.”
“You won't like it when it's you, though,” some guy said.
“I don't mind,” Malfoy interjected, “I volunteer to kiss every girl.”
Some people laughed in the circle. One of his friends slapped his arm.
“Do we have to kiss girls too?” a blonde girl asked.
“Why, of course!” Willow shouted. “It should be easier, no?”
The girl groaned and so did some people. Willow rolled her eyes.
“I don't want to kiss a boy,” Lestrange said with a wrinkled face.
“Don't be last then,” Felicity replied and then looked down.
“Also! Besides choosing who you kiss, the person also chooses if it's a big or small kiss and where it is,” Willow explained, leaning forward slightly, “let's start.”
“Where it is?” Jennifer wondered. She heard someone giggle but didn't notice who it was.
“Yes, people kiss each other in different places,” Willow replied. "Do I need to give you the birds and the bees talk?"
Jennifer scoffed. Willow seemed to be quite... something. She was remembering why she never hung out with those people. "It's just a weird ―"
Lestrange leaned forward too. “Have you never kissed anyone?”
“We're 10 or 11,” Felicity shrieked, “a lot of people here haven't kissed anyone. Also, it's a bloody game, so the kiss doesn't count. Wouldn't wanna say your first kiss was on a stupid game like this.”
“Stop talking, let's start,” Tom said, also leaning forward as he got to his knees.
Jennifer bit down on her lip. Who hadn't already, leaned forward, making everyone be so-and-so at the same distance. The first time, everyone jolted so quickly that Jennifer thought she would be the last one, but she wasn't. Lestrange was, it seemed to be on purpose, though. The first one was a blonde guy who immediately smirked at him.
“Don't choose a guy or I'll do it for you too,” he quickly replied.
“Please, Malfoy, I'll pay you,” Avery eagerly said, “make him kiss a boy.”
Malfoy's raised his eyebrows at Avery. “Really?”
Avery widened his eyes. “Not like that!”
“Lestrange,” Malfoy looked around, “kiss Avery on the cheek.”
They both groaned as everyone laughed at their shamed looks.
“I was nice!” he exclaimed with a smile.
They were next to each other so Lestrange simply leaned forward and did what he was told. “I hate this game,” he whined. Avery wiped his cheek.
Everyone leaned forward again and the last was Jennifer. She was still surprised by how quickly everyone placed their hands. The first was Malfoy again, he had a good reaction time. “Well... I don't really know you. Anyone wants to suggest someone?” he asked. No one replied to him. “Well, just...” he looked around, “kiss Rosier, I guess.”
Jennifer and Rosier gave a groan of protest. “She's my cousin, Abraxas,” he complained.
"We are Slytherins," Avery muttered.
"Avery! What?" Rosier complained. He laughed to himself and some people laughed too.
"I don't think we should follow our parents' steps in that," Felicity added.
Malfoy shushed her. “Stop yapping around. Let me think."
"Don't think too hard, you'll blow us up," Lestrange said.
He rolled his eyes. "Ignoring that. Well, hm ― why won't you kiss Avery? He got it bad last round.”
Avery smirked as soon as he said his name. “On the mouth?” he eagerly asked.
“Yeah.”
Jennifer went over to the other side of the circle on her knees, staying in front of Avery. “How long?” she asked.
“It's your first time playing, so a peck.”
She nodded and leaned in to give him a peck on the mouth. It felt weird, like skin on skin. It wasn't particularly magical or the best thing ever as she read on her cousin's books. He barely had time to respond before she pulled back and went back to her seat. “Well, even Lestrange's was nicer,” he mumbled.
She looked down and blushed as some people laughed.
“And we all know why...” Tom replied with a smile. People laughed again but at Lestrange instead of at her.
She looked up to glance at him who looked back with a neutral expression again. That was nice of him. She wasn't sure why he would defend her, but maybe it was only to be funny.
“Anyway, third round,” Willow announced.
That round someone she didn't know was last and had to kiss someone she also didn't know. It was boring seeing others make out, she figured. She was never the first nor the last for quite a few rounds. Neither were the people she paid most attention to. Tom hadn't even been close to being last. He was first a handful of times and seemed to pick the right people to kiss each other because they complained a lot. It was entertaining, but also boring the wait in between.
She had never seen people kiss so much. Her parents surely didn't, they hated one another. It wasn't particularly interesting seeing people kiss, she found herself looking away most times out of shame. Kids her age should not just be giving kisses away like that.
She wondered how Tom felt about it since he seemed adverted to these settings, but he still attended. He continued to very confusing.
As she had drifted off wondering about Tom she felt someone shake her shoulders. "Finally, you again!" Willow exclaimed.
She looked down to see everyone pulling their hands away already. "Oh."
"Don't be so easy on her now!"
She wasn't sure who was the first to put their hand and had to try to look at who everyone was looking. It was a girl she didn't remember the name of. "Mmm, if I knew her I could make her kiss who she fancied. Do you guys know?"
"We barely know her too," Felicity said as if she wasn't right there.
"I don't fancy anyone," Jennifer replied.
"She does hang out with Tom quite a lot," Willow said.
She shook her head. No, she could not kiss him, that'd be extremely awkward.
"Kiss Tom," the girl said with a grin.
"That is so weird, he's my friend," Jennifer complained.
"It's fine, Garrick."
She tilted her head. He didn't mind?
"Oooh," the girl cheered. "Seems as if he wants to."
"He doesn't," Tom replied. "Don't do that." Tom was the one who was moving towards her and her heart almost jolted off her chest. No. It'd be so weird, she wanted to melt off there.
"You're the one who's eagerly going there..." she replied.
His friends laughed at him.
Tom turned to her and gave her the finger, it made Jennifer giggle. "She is already uncomfortable because of this stupid lame game, just feel sorry." He settled in front of her.
"What a gentleman, Riddle," Malfoy called out and their friends laughed again.
Jennifer didn't know what to say.
"Where?" Tom asked, still staring at her. Her eyes were all over his face as she couldn't look him in the eyes for too long.
"Neck. Suck her neck."
Jennifer made a face of disgust. "He's not doing that."
"It'll be funny."
"Absolutely not. He can kiss it or what no, but none of that... whatever you guys want."
The girl sighed. "Fine. You're a bore, Jennifer."
Tom scoffed. "You guys are so childish." He leaned in and place his hand behind her neck, pushing the blonde curls to the side with the other hand.
She held her breath, not sure for what. But he was too close already, closer than anyone had ever been. He didn't seem to be so shocked as he just leaned in and kissed her neck. The breathing near her neck made her giggle and squirm. When his lips planted fully, she gasped. It felt nice and it tickled at the same time. Seemed better than that kiss with Avery. She wondered what a kiss with Tom would be like.
She looked down so she wouldn't see the people staring right at them, trying to clock her expressions. He gave another kiss, for some reason, before pulling back. She avoided eye contact with him as she recalled her last thoughts.
"Ok, that was... interesting enough to end it there," the girl commented making everyone laugh again.
As everyone went to their respective dorms, she got up and sat on the couch, her legs and arse felt sore from sitting on the floor. She realized hanging out wasn't really her thing, but the girls she met were nice to her... as nice as Slytherin girls can be. She let out a sigh as the place was becoming more empty.
She was surprised to see Tom walking towards her.
He sat next to her. “I didn't think you'd take Willow up on her invite."
He wasn't as close to her as before, but was bothering her all the same. It felt a shift in things. She knew nothing of his life outside Hogwarts and she felt as if she let on way too much about hers. She knew he was smart, for one thing. But there was nothing else there for her to understand or investigate. He talked to her as if they weren't simply colleagues who chatted occasionally.
Jennifer shook her head. “Why would you care?”
“I don't,” he replied, shrugging. “Just thought it was funny to see you try to interact with other people. You were uptight all game, you know?”
She rolled her eyes. "I don't like them."
"I think you did like them a bit." She wouldn't say that.
She smoothed her skirt. "How would you know? You barely know me."
"C'mon, Garrick, I saw you enjoy yourselves at times. With Felicity and Willow, at least."
There he was using their first names while he used her last one. "Not as much as you're trying to imply. This game was quite the bore."
"Well, I do agree the kissing part speaks of as cheap."
Jennifer nodded, still looking down at her lap. "Hogwarts is definitely not what I fully expected."
He chuckled. "You expected everyone to be as eager about learning as you are?"
She looked to the side at him. "Oh, don't say that as if you aren't as well."
Riddle waved his head. "You need to learn how to do both."
She stared at him for a few seconds, as much as her flaming cheeks allowed. She wasn't sure how he could just talk to her as if he had not just kissed her neck. She still felt awkward. "I would say taking their invite means I am, right?"
He shrugged.
He was so calm, she didn't understand how, but it proved to her they weren't as alike as he tried to make it seem.
Chapter 5: What did she fail at? - 1938
Chapter Text
November 19th 1938
(First Year)
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"Darling diary,
I feel like I finally may understand that pent-up boy on the train. That's quite the nickname.
At first I was mostly talking to him because of what Professor Dumbledore said, and because I don't want people to think I'm this loner loser. Now I realise he isn't even bad. He is quite intelligent and we can have really fun conversations. Nice to see someone who actually studies! Even if he does wear secondhand robes, which does put me off a few times.
Regardless, whenever he challenges a Professor it even charms me, if you can believe that. Then, of course, I get extremely miffed that I wasn't the one doing it. He makes me want to try harder and outdo him. And something tells me he enjoys it too by the way he smiles whenever I do it. And he isn't the smiling type, I've noticed. He has quite the closed off face.
Everyone here is so boring and naive. Oh, but aren't we all naive to the things everyone excels at?
Anyway, diary, Tom is cute and annoys me a lot, but I must compliment him once, I suppose. I don't think of him in a love-love way, though, ew. As much as that game might seem like so to the others. I couldn't care less about other people.
Also, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. YAY. Will report on that later. But I'm just happy to not have to deal with my parents today. I know they're not going to even send a letter so I have no expectations.
Bye, Diary."
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Jennifer closed her diary and hid it as usual underneath the bed. She went downstairs to the common room, excited to talk to anyone she saw. She looked around the room and the first person her eyes landed on was Tom, even though there were kids all abound.
"Greetings, Riddle," she sat down next to him and peeked at the book he was reading, he didn't hide it or even look at her. It was a book about the history of Slytherin. He had been reading that for weeks. She already heard way too much about Slytherin from her mother, reading about it was just plain on boring.
She did have the suspicion he didn't know as much as he tried to let on, but she hadn't confronted him yet. She knew for sure he wasn't a Muggleborn, it was simply impossible, he was so smart. But things didn't line up quite right.
"Hello, Garrick," he replied, flipping a page.
"Learning lots?" she asked, straightening her back as he glanced at her.
"Hopefully." He looked back at the book.
Jennifer nodded even though he wasn't looking anymore. She cleared her throat to get his attention again and he looked back at her. “Today is my birthday,” she revealed with a smile she couldn't contain.
He looked at her and raised his eyebrows. She seemed extremely happy. More than he had ever seen her be, not that he knew her that much or at all, for that matter. But they had spent some time together. He couldn't say it was awful, because she was at least smart and he enjoyed smart people. But she could be too much at times. She never talked to anyone but him, and it was weird. Even he tried to appeal to all the other kids and he agreed they were stupid and annoying.
He wasn't sure why he allowed her to be so close to him. Someone else he'd probably try to scare off. She was pleasant to look at. Blonde curly hair and eyes calm and blue as a lake. Not that he had ever seen many lakes. Only the one at Hogwarts. Either way, many girls there were pretty. Why did she seem prettier than them? Was it because she was smart? He usually had the reputation to try to make pretty girls cry, but he didn't want to see her cry.
"Did you hear me? You're staring."
Tom's cheeks grew in temperature at the realization. "Yes, that seems very nice."
“My parents usually give me tons of presents, but they said they wouldn't send any letters or... things during this time because...” she looked at the ceiling, “well, my mum said I had to grow up and face how the world treats us. Not sure why that means no letters."
"Your mum always says some weird things," he replied. He never had birthday presents so a part of him was satisfied that she'd feel that at least once.
She furrowed her eyebrows, as if she had to think about what he said. "I'm not sure that's a nice way to put it. She does what she thinks is best for me."
"You do want to celebrate your birthday, do you not?" he asked.
That brought some light into her eyes again, as she looked at him again. "Well, yes, that's why came here."
He closed his book and gestured for her to continue.
She grinned at him. “I thought we could have fun as my gift. My definition of fun."
"And what's that, Garrick?"
"Always studying, of course," she replied.
"You want to study on your birthday?" he asked. She was quite something. He didn't decode her as easily as he could others and maybe that's why she seemed somewhat interesting. She was very... perfect, he had to pretend nearly everyday. Being herself wasn't as tiring. He couldn't help but feel jealous.
"Let me finish, Riddle. I think you'll like this one." She leaned her head on the back of the sofa. "We could sneak at night and go to the restricted section," she suggested, wiggling her eyebrows. She definitely had a way of persuading him.
"Oh? What are you looking to find there?" he asked.
She glanced around before she leaned in closer to him. "I know there's books about secret spells they don't dare to teach us here."
"Spells like what?"
She gave him a look, very unlike her usual self. She bit her lower lip as she chuckled to herself. "Like to tie up people or cut them open."
Even he was shocked. "You're into those things?" he asked, voice peaking with interest. He was suddenly very glad he hadn't scared her off the first day they got thtere.
She shrugged with the same innocent but not quite look on her face. "I hate that I'm not allowed to know about it."
Tom did not expect that from a posh girl like her. But maybe he simply had nothing to expect, he could hardly understand that world still. Very familiar to his, but sometimes so different.
"Unless you aren't down for it?"
"Garrick, I'm absolutely down."
Jennifer smiled at him and placed her hands on her thighs. “It's a plan then?”
He nodded.
She shrieked in happiness and got up. “I'm going to ask Frieda for a dress,” she said and ran to the girl's dormitory. As if she hadn't implied she wanted to read about spells which injured people.
One could call her... cute.
Jennifer waited patiently on the corner next to the stairs, running her hands through her dress to make it less wrinkled. It was a bit large for her, but it fit. She liked the color, it was a light blue that matched her eyes. She still wore tights underneath it, of course. She gasped loudly when she felt fingers poke her waist.
“Hey,” Tom greeted.
She turned around with furrowed eyebrows and pointed a finger at him. “What was that for, Riddle?”
He chuckled, glancing at her finger. “I need to have my fun, Garrick.”
She jabbed his chest with her raised finger. “Today is about me. Got it? I turn 12 today, I am starting to become more of a woman now,” she said, straightening her back.
He pushed her hand away and let his eyes drift from her head until they landed on her toes. “Woman? Wouldn't be able to tell, you look like you're 7 with that dress.”
Jennifer rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrist, starting to walk away from the common room “I have gotten at least 5 compliments since I put it on.”
“It's Saturday, everyone's happy, and everyone's giving compliments or lying as I'd call it.”
"Don't be mean to me, it's my birthday."
He chuckled at that. "Almost over by now."
Jenny let go of his wrist as they stepped outside. She casted a light spell for her wand and told him to follow her. She had read up on the castles' architecture and so found a way to the library they'd be less likely to get caught on. She could tell he was on edge, and it was quite entertaining, he was never scared of anything. She was surprised he hadn't gone there himself. He seemed the type to be interested in those things. Dark magic, creepy potions and portraits. But there he was shaking behind her like a little baby.
He walked a few steps behind her as if trying to double check no one would be roaming and finding them.
"You're such a baby," she teased.
"Shh."
She placed her hand over her mouth as she laughed at him. The boy who liked snakes was scared to be caught on a hallway, quite ironic. She was pretty sure they wouldn't have too severe a punishment for roaming at night. Her mother would have a worse reaction than the principal if she knew. That was the one thing that truly scared her. Everything else could only brush close.
When they reached the library, she took out the key from her pocket.
He widened his eyes. “Where did you get that?
She turned around to smile at him. “I came prepared.” Still looking at him she opened the door behind her. “I always do. You should be more adventurous.”
He entered the library behind her, closing the door carefully. “You are not adventurous, Garrick, please."
She walked through the library. "You don't know me, Riddle."
"You must admit I know quite a bit."
They passed through an archway. "Not sure about that. Both of us have things to hide, don't we?"
Tom's expression fell flat. He shouldn't have been as surprised, she, of all people, could somewhat read through him. He was sure she couldn't know too much, though. She wouldn't be alone with him if she did. "What would I have to hide?"
She stopped walking so he did too. There was a darker spot to the side, through another archway. "You tell me." She confidently walked towards it. She eyed it around, eyes on the books surrounding them.
He ignored her previous words. "What are you looking for?" he whispered.
Jennifer raised her wand and casted, “ Muffliato, ” to them both.
Tom was impressed ― just a tiny bit ― once more. “Since when can you do that?"
Jennifer wiggled her eyebrows at him and smiled. “What do you wanna do?” she asked.
A lot of things, but, none involved celebrating her birthday, which was almost passing. He took a step towards her . “Let's read some books.”
She chuckled. “Pick one.”
"I must admit I wouldn't know where to start."
"You don't know much about magic, do you?" she questioned.
Riddle leaned on the railing that led to another part of the Restricted Section. "We're head for head in class. What's that supposed to mean."
Jennifer continued to looked around for something. "I can tell you pick up on things as you go. Did your parents not talk much about it?" she asked.
He felt relief realising she still didn't suspect he didn't have parents or was raised with Muggles. "Not as much as they should have. But I do know things, you're mistaken."
She hummed. "If you say so, Riddle."
He hated that. How she wasn't scared of him, that she could dismiss him. He never dared anyone to talk to him like that before. He had gotten in trouble countless times for less. He knew she wouldn't last a day where he came from, and that he would have terrorised her already if they grew up together. And he should be doing it right there, the once chance where they were completely alone. But he didn't want to, and it bothered him.
She couldn't be as perfect as she seemed. He knew her mother sucked, but that was better than having no mother. She was shy, but she didn't seem to care that people considered her a loner. She was exactly how she wanted to be. She was pretty, of course, but she didn't gloat about it. Jennifer acted as if no one would notice her if she slyly passed by. Truth was they did. He had heard people talk about how pretty she was. She wouldn't believe him if he told her.
What could be wrong with Jennifer Garrick? What did she fail at?
They went to bed quite late that night, and still he could not answer his own question.
December 16th 1938
(Holidays)
She was home once again after the almost 4 months stay at Hogwarts. It was odd breathing in and the smell being foreign to her. The house elf instantly packed her things again. She wasn't sure why there was the need to unpack them since she'd be back in no time, but she wouldn't argue against it.
It was weird not quite wanting to be home and needing a break from the excruciating day-to-day in Hogwarts. Although it was the First Year, everyone was already making friends that they said were for life, having small fights and even dating ― that didn't last too long anyway. She couldn't lie and say she had no friends.
But she didn't exactly have impactful connections. Even Tom, she could hardly say she knew him, the real him. She could tell something was off with the way he acted, but he never snapped. She envied that in him. She always felt a thread away from snapping, not quite the same as when she was younger and it could fly by her. No. Now things felt worse. Maybe it was growing up or not quite being allowed to. She wished she could be like the other kids and think the most important things were the present. She knew it wasn't.
She was constantly reminded of how much she needed to be great, appeal to her mother, her family. She had to become a great witch or there was simply no future in the torture her parents would put her through. Friends meant nothing for that future. Not matter how even her mother acted like they did.
Her parents seemed to be in a good mood and she hoped that remained for how long she had to stay there.
Her mother actually smiled when she saw her again. It sent chills down her back, it didn't fit her. "Oh, my dear, how were your first months there?" she asked, hands on her shoulders.
"It's been quite magical. Hogwarts was nothing as I had imagined, it was even better."
"Flying is fun, isn't it?" her father asked.
She looked to the side as she heard the elf come down the stairs. It glanced at her with a nervous look. She wondered what could've have went on before she arrived. "I liked written things the most. Not a big fan of heights," she confessed.
"Can't blame her," her mother muttered. "If you came out talking nonstop about Quidditch we'd have to disown you," she joked. She looked towards the stairs again and the elf looked down at his feet instantly. "Zipkey, go get some tea brewing for Jennifer."
Jennifer didn't want tea, but she wouldn't dare to speak up. Her mother gripped her shoulders tighter.
"Yes, master," it muttered.
"Did you fall off your broom?" her father asked, going back to it.
"No. I was great at it, of course."
Her mother squeezed her shoulders before she let go. She could still feel her fingers on her shoulders even as she let go."That's our girl."
Jennifer nodded, still taking in the sight of her own home.
"Who are you friends with?" she asked.
She panicked. "I... I've talked to nearly everyone," she replied. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't as if she actually knew them or they knew her. "It was nice seeing Rosier more than just sometimes. Overall, they're alright, but no one's that studious, they're more interested in partying and talking until late at night."
"Not our daughter, though," her father said.
Jennifer hummed in agreement. "No. I've talked to Lestrange, Nott, Avery, even Malfoy."
"What do you mean by that?" her mother asked.
Bollocks. She didn't mean to say it like that. "He's quite the guy."
"We know what you mean," her dad said. She relaxed a bit, but not totally. "Have you learned a lot?" he continued.
"The things we're learning this year are quite basic. There's rarely anything I don't know expect the actual spells we have to use. And potions is quite an odd class. I still like it."
Her mother tilted her head. "You'll have to show us some spells you learned."
She already knew how that'd go. Anything she showed them would lead to some type of correction on how to actually do it. But it wasn't as if she was allowed to say no or protest. The punishment would be too severe. "Of course, mother."
"For now you can just relax and enjoy being back home. I bet you miss your books," her father said. He placed his hand on her hair and ruffled it a bit.
She chuckled and slapped his hand away.
Being home wouldn't be totally bad.
Chapter 6: Don't do something stupid - 1939
Chapter Text
January 13th 1939
(First Year)
Tom waited until people left the History of Magic class, packing his things slower on purpose. He walked up to the professor, chin up. "Professor," he called.
He looked up from the two books he was on the way to grab, retracting his hands. "Mr. Riddle."
"The very same," he said.
"Do you have a question about today's lesson? About Elfric? He is quite the ―"
"No," he interrupted, taking the smile off the Professor's face.
"Oh, alright. What's it then?"
"I was reading about the history of the castle. I know we covered some of that last term, but not specifically this part."
He nodded. "We teach the more detailed parts throughout the years."
"I know. Still, I have a question about Salazar ― Slytherin, of course."
"Yes, my boy."
Tom chuckled slightly. "I read he was a Parselmouth, correct?"
"Yes, he had that ability, so was the reason your house has a snake as its symbol. He was also a very skilled Legilimens. Those are very rare traits to have these days with our current curriculum. Some of my colleagues appose to dealing with such advanced skills."
"I see how it might not be viable in the wrong hands," Tom replied.
"You see, Tom," he sat on top of his desk, "how are we supposed to fight against these wizards, very talented wizards, that have mastered the dark arts. The worst curses you can imagine. If we don't teach you them as well?"
"It is a risk, I presume, Professor."
He nodded. "Yes, but one I believe we must take in the next years at Hogwarts. The more people know, the better they'll do faced with evil. The better they'll understand evil, if they stood near it themselves and decided not to dip in."
"Right."
"I apologise, I got carried away. Did you have another question?"
Tom licked his lips. "He passed along that skill to his descendants, right?"
"Great question. Yes, we believed and know of it to be correct. This day we have found this trait in very few wizards here in Hogwarts. Presumably, some aren't from Britain or were never based here and possess the skill someplace else in another school. Here it is quite rare."
"Who are their known descendants?" Tom asked.
The professor looked to the side, squinting his eyes. "I couldn't tell you name, but I do know the Gaunt family is still one of the only ones who passes this ability along. Supposedly from the fact that it has remained a Pureblood family for centuries," he chuckled, "as pure as allowed by their genes."
"I see..." He had never heard of that family, as he hadn't of any other in Hogwarts. It seemed quite rare to be considered a Pureblood, Tom wondered the measures these families took to get there. No doubt some inbreeding. He still couldn't understand the importance of being a Pureblood. He didn't see them being exceptional or more talented.
All he knew was that somehow he was a descendant of Salazar Slytherin.
Which meant he needed to understand what made him special. And what made Purebloods superior. If he was also superior in some way, it could change everything.
"Are you particularly curious on Parselmouth?"
"No. I mean, I would love to talk to snakes, but not really."
The professor got off the desk. "I love to feed your curiosity."
And wasn't Tom thankful for that.
"But be aware. I haven't heard of anyone mastering this skill without the born ability to do so. I'd say it's impossible."
"I was just wondering. I'm not so deluded to the point of spending years trying."
The professor laughed, patting him in the shoulder.
Thankfully, he didn't need to, as he already possessed it. He had a feeling he should keep it hidden from everyone, though. People didn't seem receptive to the idea of a Slytherin descendant walking around amongst them. At least not 3/4 of the school.
Jennifer looked at the homework in front of her and her head hurt before she even started. It wasn't hard, she could definitely do it. But, she didn't want to. She didn't want to do anything. Being back wasn't exactly as exciting as she hoped. Not that she didn't love Hogwarts, she very much did. The time away wasn't regenerative, it only made her upset. Everything because she somehow made her mother upset. And of course, she had to take it out on her. She didn't understand why it was bothering her so much, but it wouldn't leave her mind. It was so unfair, even trying to hard all term to be perfect, to know as much as possible, she...
No one understood how awful everything truly was. Even if they did, maybe they wouldn't care, who would? Not even her own mother could bring herself to pretend, why would strangers?
She always knew it wasn't normal, the things her mum did. The use of dark magic. It didn't feel right. But, people being so nice doesn't either. No matter which side of the coin she's standing on, all she wants is to step out of it.
The homework looked back. She felt the urge to cry, to let everything out, but she couldn't. She wouldn't be a little baby, not what her mother accused her of being.
"You're that girl."
She raised her head and saw the same girl from that night with the other Slytherins. The one who made Tom kiss her neck. She had wavy brown hair and brown eyes, which matched the color of her skin, although not as dark as Willow's. Her lips were stretched into a big smile, showing off her pearly white teeth. Her outfit wasn't as put together as Jenny's, her vest was missing, for one thing, and she merely wore socks instead of the tights Jennifer wore. Her mother said it was more respectful to cover her legs completely, so she had been avoiding the knee socks at her disposal. It was quite cold so she didn't mind.
The girl pulled a chair to sit in front of her. "What was your name?" It was quite insulting she didn't remember since they had been dormmates for months.
"Jennifer Garrick."
"Oh, the Garricks," she giggled. "My mum fucking hated yours. Of course, then she wasn't a Garrick, but everyone still remembers. She taunted everyone around her, my mum calls her the pretty menace even today."
Sounds about right. "She was young."
"My mum was younger, yours definitely knew better."
Jenny shrugged, not sure what to reply that wouldn't be just full on agreement.
"But, I mean, if you were raised by a psychopath you still came out pretty fine. You're so shy I definitely believe you won't make me drink a potion that'll make me try to kiss half our grade."
"Did my mum do that?" she questioned.
"What do you think?"
Jennifer looked down. "Sorry."
The girl waved it off. "Can't apologize for who she is."
"I suppose not?" she replied, not sure where the girl wanted to take the conversation. It was still better than homework. Something she never expected to think.
"I'm Dorothea, no last names, hate that bullshit," she said, smiling at her. She was that girl Tom considered fun unlike the others, she had forgotten about that. So much that she didn't realise it was her even at the party.
Jennifer nodded. She didn't care about the last name policy, she did it with Tom because he kept doing it with her. "You curse a lot."
"We all will one day, don't your parents?" she asked.
Jennifer shrugged again. "I don't think about it. My mum says I shouldn't, that's what I focus on."
"You like following what your mum says?" Dorothea asked.
Jennifer felt her anger build up. She used to be much better at managing it before Hogwarts. "Why are you talking to me?"
The girl raised her eyebrows, leaning forward on her seat. "So you do have a personality."
She didn't understand what she meant by that, it felt like an insult but the words dripped like honey from her mouth. She had such a soft tone and a pretty smile, but the words didn't match. "I..."
"You hang out with Tom a lot, don't you?"
"So do you, don't you?" she let out. There was a bitterness in her voice she didn't expect.
The girl tilted her head at her. "Not like you, though. He's very different with you, I'd say."
She shook her head. "He's very hard to break through. Sometimes it definitely feels like he secretly hates me."
Dorothea laughed so loud she had to put a hand to contain herself inside the library. "Whatever you see, that's not hate, my love." At that comment she felt uneasy, she didn't like how that sounded. They were at best friends, and she had no interest in any type of romance with any boy, much less Tom. She hadn't considered that stupid game might have led to people thinking they had something going on. If true, she wanted to beat those allegations down.
"Maybe not, but you wouldn't know, would you?"
"He did kiss your neck..."
Jennifer rolled her eyes. "He had to."
"You know why I picked him?" she asked.
"Why, of course, I'm not dumb. He's the only person I spend more than 1 hour consecutively with."
"I believe you two can really be something. Friends that hang out slowly start to feel these small sparks with one another. It becomes so hard to avoid you two accidentally kiss and before you know it you're married with 4 kids."
Jennifer couldn't help but laugh at her. "That sounds like the plot of a book. And very unrealistic."
"Let it be one. At least you're the writer, and you also get to be the character, pretty great."
Jennifer leaned back on her chair. That girl was quite something else. "We aren't interested in each other like that."
Dorothea smiled at her. "Who knows? You have 6 more years, make them count. After that, you may never see him again, but meanwhile, you can have fun. That's why I love boys, so fun to see all your possible lives with everyone and it's like you have multiple universes where they were the guy, it's like you got them all."
She wasn't sure about all that. "I'm fine in the universe where I'm alone."
"Oh, love, no one's fine alone. Don't lie to yourself like that."
She chuckled to herself. At least that girl definitely didn't know Tom, no more than she did. And that brought her some comfort she didn't know she needed.
February 14th 1939
(First Year)
Hearts, postcards and blooming connections. One of the most pointless Holidays of the year, in Jennifer's opinion. She didn't get Valentine's Day. If you liked someone, shouldn't you show that everyday of the year. Why was this day specially reserved to show that?
It didn't help she was used to ignoring it her entire life. She was always told it was an adult thing. The other girls that she shared a dorm with giggled about as they chatted about boys and Valentine's. She could tell it was not simply an adult thing. One more thing she had to realise wasn't normal in real life.
It felt great.
“Love Day is the best day ever,” Willow said, “everyone sparkles just so. I love to see how in love everyone is.”
“Is it not partially gross?” Jennifer replied, earning a surprised look from Willow. What did people even do when they were in love? Her parents mostly fought, hit each other, apologised, and repeat. Marriage seemed very exhausting, she wasn't sure she wanted to ever be a wife. But did she really have a choice? Did she have to worry if she didn't care about a stupid holiday? Was it odd not to care?
"How so?"
Jennifer shrugged, “I never really celebrated this holiday. I don’t know, seems pointless,” she revealed.
“But, you’re so pretty, you must've gotten lots of envelopes.”
"Not really, but if I do get them, I don’t care."
Willow hummed. “I see... You know what, you can do my hair, it can be our love day activity.”
“I thought it was about lovers,” Jennifer said.
Willow smiled at her. “Well, my mom says friendship is the best kind of love. Friends can even be family.”
Jennifer never considered that, but her "friends" there made her feel better than her mom ever did, so maybe there was some truth to it. She had been hanging out with them more, and behind the occasional mean remarks, they were nice and cared to know how she felt. Not that she knew what to answer besides 'fine'.
"Seems fair. I have no idea how to do your hair, though, it's all frizzy and big. Why don't you ask Felicity? She knows how to."
Willow was the only girl in that year with that type of hair, which made her feel a bit out. Felicity helped her, considering her mother had similar hair, she knew how to do hairstyles certain wizards hadn't heard of. It was oddly rare that there were very few black wizards. But, as time went on and even Muggles evolved with their... ideals, even if still awful, more wizards were starting to appear. As long as they're not Muggle-borns, Jennifer is fine with them.
“Felicity looks like she's about to pass out over there,” Willow replied. When she didn’t acknowledge the mention of her name, she moved away from her bed to go talk to Felicity. “Hey.”
“Hey,” she greeted back, drawing out the word.
“What's wrong, buttercup?” Willow smiled at her.
“Abraxas sent a letter to Dorothea instead of me," she replied.
And? Better he annoyed her, no? If one of the guys — any guy — sent her a letter, she'd burn it.
Willow chuckled. “Why are you so worried about that? He's a loser.”
"Yeah... I thought he was, but he's genuinely nice when you're alone with him."
"I highly doubt it," Jennifer replied. If they were talking about the same Abraxas, he was very much infuriating to talk to in any context. He talked about himself all the time and only cared about Quidditch. Jennifer couldn't care less about Quidditch.
"He is, I swear. And earlier... something happened," she muttered.
"Something bad?" Willow questioned.
She chuckled. "N-no. We passed through each other near the staircase, and one thing led to another, then he kissed me,” she revealed.
Jennifer widened her eyes at that. “He kissed you?”
“Why did he invite Dory then?” Willow wondered.
"Like, lips on lips?" Jennifer continued questioning.
"Jennifer," Willow interluded.
“Sorry, hard to imagine,” Jennifer added.
“His lips could only be described as phoenix feathers, I swear to Merlin's beard."
"I'm not quite sure about that one," Willow said.
"I know I sound stupid, but genuinely I feel like I love him…” she trailed off.
"That's a big word," Jennifer murmured.
Willow snorted. “Does he love you back, though?”
She shrugged. “Maybe…”
“He invited another girl!” Jennifer exclaimed, getting up from her bed, “do not go out with him, he’s fooling you. He’s a fool.” She was so confused that she couldn't see it. Love was so stupid, she never wanted to act that stupid.
“If it wasn’t for Dorothea, we’d be together,” she replied, her lips turning downward.
Willow placed her hand on Felicity’s knee. “He invited her. It’s not her fault. He’s probably telling her he loves her right now.”
“He isn’t,” she argued, “I see the way he looks at me.”
Jenny couldn’t help but laugh at that, Felicity glared at her. “He looks at all girls like that, even me, who never speaks to him.”
"That's because he knows you have that thing with Tom," Felicity replied. So more people did think that. Why on Earth would they? Could she not have a friend that wasn't a girl?
Jennifer glared at her. "I have nothing with —"
“But, he kissed me, so I know it's not just a flirting here and there type thing,” she continued, ignoring Jennifer's protests.
Willow sat next to her friend on the bed and pulled her into a hug. “You know yourself better than any of us, but I believe you can do much better than him. Besides, he's not the only boy at Hogwarts, you're so pretty, any person would be happy to date you,” Willow said, eyes beaming at her. She looked at her with so much love, one would think she'd want to be the one to send her a Valentine's Day card.
She shrugged.
“And — and you don’t even have to date anyone.”
“Yes. I've never dated anyone, and I'm fine,” Jennifer reassured. She hoped it stayed that way for at least another decade.
Willow looked from Jennifer to Felicity, “yeah, it's not the end of the world. Also,” she gave a small snort, “what are boys even? They're complicated and... and stupid, why even care?”
“And some smell bad,” Jenny added.
“You both say that, but I see you hang out with them,” Felicity argued, pulling away from Willow’s hug. "You’re always following Riddle around, Jenny,” she turned to Willow, “and, you’re always making jokes I don’t understand with Avery.”
“That is not true,” Jennifer defended in a high-pitched voice, “we’re usually talking about school, books we read —”
“He looks at you like he wants to read you,” Felicity interjected. Why did they keep saying that?
Jenny gulped. “He doesn’t." He has called her pretty, but it's mostly as an insult. Even if he was interested in her, she'd burn all the letters the same. Burn, burn, burn...
“Who did he even ask out today?” Felicity asked.
“Some random girl that’s always making eyes at him, most likely,” Jennifer muttered. She did not mean to sound like that. Like Felicity ranting about Dorothea.
Felicity smiled for the first time that day, “You sound jealous…”
“I am not!” she argued. “You guys don’t know him like I do.”
“True,” Felicity said, smirking.
“Not like that — he’s not interested in any of the romance things you keep implying. He just knows what to say all the time. To anyone. He has an ability I don't understand.”
“Why does he want them to like him if he’s not interested?” Willow asked.
Jennifer also wondered that sometimes, but she realised Tom was an odd person, he had his very special line of thought. “Maybe he likes the attention,” she replied.
“Maybe he likes someone else and to forget about it he tries to charm everyone else,” Felicity said, still with a smile on her face.
“He doesn’t like me! I don’t like him!” she exclaimed. The girls both laughed at her tone. “Dear Merlin, can you stop?”
“Ok, alright,” Felicity said, “but if you two ever get together, I want to be the first to know.”
“That’ll never happen.” Dating someone like Tom sounded tiring, he didn't seem that exciting, sure... he is smart, and good-looking, and funny, she likes the way he effortlessly mocks others, even when it's her, the way he chuckles at her jokes and makes her know she was actually funny, others would laugh at anything — but, no, Jennifer thought he would be a really bad lover, even he seemed to know that.
She hummed at her. "Hm-mh."
“Go back to daydreaming about Malfoy.”
A teasing smile left her face at the mention of him. “You know what? I’m gonna go talk to Dorothea.” She got up.
Both Willow and Jennifer widened their eyes at each other.
“No, Felicity, you will not,” Jennifer insisted.
“I will.”
“Don’t do something stupid,” Willow pleaded, trying to grab her, but she was pushing her away.
“She’s taking my man, I’ll take her hair,” she added, putting her shoes on.
“He’s not your man!” Willow said, “Please. You’ll regret it.”
She was ignoring Willow’s pleas and moving to get out of the room.
“I don’t want to watch that,” Jennifer muttered. Willow tilted her head as she glanced at her.
“Let’s go after her.”
“Will,” she groaned.
Willow grabbed her hand and pushed her out of her bed, running out of the bedroom to catch on with Felicity. They walked down the stairs after Felicity into the common room. Everyone was hanging out there, mostly guys and girls making eyes at each other because it was Love Day, not everyone had sent their letters, it wasn’t even lunch yet.
“Hey. You bitch,” Felicity started with, moving towards Dorothea who was talking with Riddle. He smiled at the interaction from surprise, moving back a bit. Jennifer wondered what they were talking about, she didn't know they were friends, it let a bitter taste in her mouth.
“She does not mean that,” Willow yelled, approaching them.
Dorothea looked with raised eyebrows at Felicity. “I’m a what now?”
“Please, stop,” Willow begged.
Felicity glanced at her but otherwise ignored her friend. Jennifer was mostly surprised at how direct Felicity was being, women weren’t supposed to act like that. If her mother watched her do that she wasn’t sure she’d make it out alive.
“B. I. T. C. H. Bitch.”
Dorothea chuckled. “You can spell? Didn’t think you had it in you.”
“And I didn’t think you had it in you to steal other people’s boyfriends.”
Dorothea laughed in her face. She was always so brave, and Jennifer envied that. She couldn't be as straightforward, not in public at least. Everyone was watching them, and they looked ready to kill each other anyway. “Boyfriends? Does any guy even look at you?” she snapped back.
She gasped at that. “Yeah, they do more than talk to me.”
Dory looked around the room. There was a crowd forming, and she knew most of them liked Felicity, she would lose whatever was happening if she didn’t snap back. “Admitting you’re a harlot now?”
“Oh, I’m the slut?” Felicity snorted, moving closer to her. “What are you doing with Riddle here?” she pointed at him. He chuckled, and Jennifer raised her eyebrows at him. “Didn’t Malfoy invite you out?”
“That’s what you’re making a big deal of?” she laughed in her face.
“I’m not making any deal, I’m telling you to back off from him.”
Dorothea scrunched her face at the suggestion. “And why would I do that?” she asked.
Willow’s eyes flicked down as she noticed Felicity’s hand slowly moving into her pocket. Dorothea didn’t seem to have noticed it. “Felicity, just let it go.”
Jennifer watched Tom move away from Dorothea as he moved towards her.
“He doesn’t want you,” Felicity said.
“Then why did he ask me out?” Dorothea retorted, leaning forward. She didn’t seem scared of Felicity, there was a mean furrow of a brow that fit her expression.
Tom nudged Jenny and leaned to whisper in her ear, “she’s gonna use her wand.”
Jenny noticed Felicity’s hand was in her pocket. “Oh no.”
“I don’t know, nor do I care. He doesn’t like you.”
“Someone find Malfoy!” another first-year yelled.
Felicity glanced back but seemed to ignore how many people were surrounding them. “Stay away from him.”
“You’re literally delusional, you —”
She took out her wand and pointed it at the other girl. “Stay away from him.”
Dorothea stepped slightly back. “Merlin. You’re insane.”
Felicity moved forward and pushed the wand against Dory’s chest. “And you’re a bitch. You always think you’re better than everyone else. You’re desperate for all the boys’ attention.”
Dorothea looked around. “I’m not the one pointing a wand at you because of a bloody boy.”
“Tom, do something,” Jennifer whispered. She expected him to ignore her but he barely gave it any thought and spoke up.
“Felicity, don’t do something you’ll regret.”
Felicity, however, wasn't backing down. "Stay out of this, Riddle," she spat, her hand still clutching her wand.
Tom raised an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed by Felicity's attempt to intimidate him. "You know better than this, Felicity," he warned.
She turned to him with the wand, “or what?”
Something flashed in his eyes. “You don’t want to threaten me.”
Jennifer noticed a small gulp and reluctance in her stance. Before Felicity could answer, Malfoy entered the common room. “What’s going on?”
“They’re fighting for you, mate,” someone said.
“I am not fighting for anyone,” Dorothea said.
Malfoy noticed Felicity pointing a wand at Tom and his stoic expression. “Felicity leave him alone.”
"You asked her out."
Malfoy seemed confused at her craziness. "And?"
“Why, if you want me, you kissed me…” she almost whispered. Dorothea wasn’t phased by that.
“You think hurting Dorothea — or anyone — will make me ever wanna go out with you?” Abraxas asked her.
Jennifer cringed her face at the situation displaying in front of her. If she was Felicity she'd want to hide in the deepest darkest hole. But she seemed to enthralled by Malfoy to think that.
"Why didn't you ask me?"
He snorted. "Why would I?"
That silenced the room. Even Felicity's expression fell and she could see the moment the shame caught up to her. Her cheeks turned red and she looked down. Some people muttered to themselves about how it seemed like she was going to start sobbing.
“I don’t know — I…” Felicity seemed torn, she could tell. Slowly, she lowered her wand and took a step back. She definitely got scared, Jennifer was still getting second-hand embarrassment from it all.
Willow placed a comforting hand on Felicity's shoulder. "Come on, let's go back to our dormitory," she suggested. She looked back at Malfoy, glare in face. “You’re a total jerkface." She was sure if she could she would've spat on his face.
She led Felicity away from the crowd who started to disperse as they walked away.
“What an insane bitch…” Malfoy muttered.
Jennifer shook her head at Abraxas. “This was all your fault.”
“How? It isn’t my fault she thinks I’m in love with her.”
Jennifer’s jaw clenched.
“You should go check on Felicity,” Tom suggested.
“Sure, you men can be real jerks,” she added before leaving for the dorm as well.
As Jennifer entered the dorm, she noticed Felicity lying face down on her bed, crying.
“Felicity, what were you thinking? What if you were kicked out for that?"
“Yes, I would kill myself without you here. All of that, especially for a boy, horrendous” Willow was sitting next to Felicity, rubbing her back.
"I didn't... think about that," she muttered. "I just don't understand why he would treat me like this?"
"Boys can be clueless and stupid," Jennifer said gently. "They develop slower than us."
Felicity sniffled and sat up, wiping away her tears. "It doesn't make it hurt any less."
Jennifer nodded. "But you're better off without him, than without all the guys out there, trust me."
Felicity sighed. "They seem to have it easy with no emotions, just going out with anyone. We can't do that."
"They don't seem that much happier anyway," Willow replied.
“You know what, let’s just promise to not date any more boys,” Jennifer said. Not that she thought she would anyway.
"Or even think about them," Felicity added.
“I agree,” Willow rushed to say. "They can date a thousand girls, but they don't get us."
Even after a promise not to think about any boys, she couldn't help but wonder why Tom had intervened. Was it because she asked? Maybe she didn't want to know. The more she'd think about it, the more she'd fall into the rumors people had to say about them.
Maybe she had to step away from him for a while. They didn't feel that close that the thought of distancing herself hurt her. She was closer to other people. She didn't really need a study buddy.
Definitely not one people would tease her about.
Chapter 7: It was nice to have a friend - 1939
Chapter Text
February 17th 1939
(First Year)
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"Hogwarts is such a weird place. Not like anything else I've ever been in. There's the magic, of course, but there's also... freedom. Just thinking about having to go back home in the Summer, it's scary. I'm used to my mom, to everything, but before it felt so much easier to follow, even when I went back there on Holidays it was so... odd.
Everyone here seems to sense freedom for the first time and it reveals what we've all felt our entire lives, whether a child of the best Pureblood family or curious Mudbloods. Everyone loves everything. I have a feeling with the years it won't be so simple.
Not merely this place being weird. I feel weird. Almost like everyday it's harder and harder to recognise who I —"
══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════
The door slammed so hard she closed her diary in a startled motion. It's Dorothea, she was crying, she never saw her crying. Even during the fight, she kept herself calm and collected.
She got up from the bed as Dorothea sat down near the door. "Dory, what's — "
"Don't fucking call me that!" she yelled back.
Jenny had never seen her like that before. She knew that desperation, sitting on the floor sobbing. Usually how she felt after a forced conversation with her mom. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head as she brought her knees to her chest, hugging them.
"Please, tell me," she said as she approached her, getting on her knees to be at her level.
Dorothea pouted as tears kept running down her cheeks. "Malfoy. Fuck, I'm so stupid," she whined as she sobbed into her hands.
Jennifer didn't know how to help. It was making her uncomfortable, seeing her cry, so desperately, why did she have to be there as she came in? She also felt bad about leaving, minus the fact Dorothea was sitting in front of the door. "Please, breathe and tell me what happened."
Dory sniffled as she tried to breathe as Jenny told her. "I'm sorry, for being so lame right now."
Jenny touched her knee, rubbing the skin, trying to be comforting. "You're not, I just need to know what happened to know what to say."
It was going to be some boy problem again and that's all she heard when she hung out with those girls. More she tried to avoid Tom, more she remembered why she enjoyed his presence.
"You helped me, I wanna help you," she offered. There was a tightness in her chest, expanding as more tears were spilled, she could not handle that. Other people's problems. Everyone was so annoying.
"After the whole bullshit with Felicity I talked to him, I didn't go out with him, of course, and I had to say something," she rambled, cleaning her tears on her robes.
"Glad you didn't, he sounded like a jerk."
She chuckled. "Yeah, really good looking one."
Jennifer rolled her eyes. How did that justify it?
"Anyway, he was all like you're mental, and I didn't want it to be a big deal, he started to get angry and he called me a slut."
"Sounds like something he'd do," Jenny said, sitting down on the floor as her knees were aching. Why did these people bother with boys and relationships? They could just wait until they were older and get assigned the right person for them, that seemed more simple.
"It is, very much so. He told everyone that I tried to," her face frowned as she struggled to say the words, " tried to pull him off, I guess. Everyone believes him and they're being weird, they're saying things and, fuck, why?"
Jennifer didn't know what to say, she gaped at her.
"Doesn't help that Felicity just hates me now, it's like everyone is against me," she said.
Jennifer shook her head. "They're not, it'll pass trust me. Everyone always thinks I'm dating Riddle and most times they forget about it."
Dorothea's lips formed a line. "I'm sorry for participating in that, you guys just seem so close, I thought it was really obvious."
"He's close with lots of girls, I even saw him talk to you on Valentine's..." Jenny couldn't help but say, she hated the way it sounded, the words like bullets towards Dorothea who was already down, sobbing on the floor.
She chuckled. "He couldn't figure out how to do this potion and he was ashamed of asking Professor Slughorn, he thinks he's such a perfect student, it would ruin the charm."
Tom, not knowing how to do a potion? "Oh."
"Were you... jealous?" she asked and the usual teasing smile was back on her face. She learned nothing.
"I see you're feeling better," Jenny said as she got up, "can you move, please?"
Dorothea got up and smiled at her. "You so are!"
Jennifer felt her cheeks heat up and her eyes drift to the floor, not that she was very good at eye contact usually.
"Don't be embarrassed! He's very good looking, normal for you to feel that way. And, you guys talk a lot," she said still with a smile that made Jenny want to throw a curse at her.
"I'm not jealous, it was just odd."
Dorothea nodded. "Right, love, I'm sure it was..."
Jennifer looked her in the eyes again and rolled her eyes at the smug expression.
"Glad you brought it up before you'd go all Felicity on me."
Jenny couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I don't like him."
"Me neither."
Good. "I don't care."
Dorothea caressed her arm with her hand. "If there was a girl he'd date around here, it'd probably be you, so don't worry."
"Are you feeling better?" she quickly asked.
Dorothea dropped her smile. "Getting there, I know it'll pass, getting there will be awful, but I'll manage."
"It'll be over before you know it."
February 20th 1939
(First Year)
Jennifer waited as Tom finished his talk with the Herbs' Professor. He had a question about the effect of the spells on humans, and the professor looked quite worried. Tom somehow made the worried look leave the professor's face and as he turned around Jenny saw the pleasant smile on his face drop into a nonchalant expression. He freaked her out sometimes.
"Don't worry, I have all day," Jenny said as he casually packed his stuff.
He looked at her and dropped his pencil on the floor. "Oops, sorry, just clumsy," he said as he slowly bent down to grab it.
Jenny grabbed her wand and threw a Flipendo at his pencil making it fly to the end of the room, near some other plants. He glared at her as he kneeled on the ground. "Oops, clumsy," she repeated as she grinned at him.
He got up and chucked as he used a Carpe Retractum to grab the pencil easily. Unlike Jenny he didn't have to say anything or use his wand and it send a shiver down Jennifer's spine. Ever since he noticed she could do better spells than him, he seemed to be trying to prove to her he was better.
"Get it over it. I need to talk to you."
He finally packed up, throwing the strap of bag over his head to his shoulder. They started leaving the place. "Surprised you want to talk to me."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You've been avoiding me, haven't you?" he questioned.
She blushed. He noticed. She hadn't considered he'd notice and confront her about it. "Why would I be avoiding you?"
"That's what I'd love to know, Garrick."
Jennifer cleared her throat. "You heard what Malfoy's been saying?"
Tom laughed. "He wished."
"Right, but if he says it, it's true for all those dumb twits."
"Careful with your words," he mocked.
She ignored him. It didn't feel as bad as it used to using certain words, but only because there was no other way to describe those kids. She wouldn't start cursing, though, she was certain that just wasn't her. "I just feel bad for Dorothea." They entered the castle.
"You're friends with her?" he wondered, furrowing his eyebrows at her as he stopped walking.
She also stopped , pulling him towards a less busy corner of the entrance. "So are you, don't you go to her for advice?"
"For advice?"
Jennifer felt embarrassed at having said that because then she'd have to explain. "On Valentine's."
He gasped as he realized what she meant. "She told you about that?"
"It's fine, some of us can't help but struggle at Potions. Not me, of course, but you seem to relate," she teased.
He picked up his pace and she couldn't help but chuckle. "Maybe you wanted an excuse to talk to her on Valentine's. Quite lame, if I may say."
"Are you jealous?"
"I saw her crying because of what Malfoy said and I want to help," she revealed, ignoring his questioning. She was not, but he could've asked her, she was also good at Potions, she was definitely better than Dorothea.
"Also, that's not why I asked. I didn't go to you because you were in your dorm all day doing who knows what," he told, ignoring her just the same.
"I think maybe you could do something to him, scare him and make him confess it's all a lie," she said as she ignored his gaze.
Tom sighed. "Fine, let's just move on. What do I get from helping Dorothea?"
"Move on? I am not jealous! It was stupid of you to ask her when you could've waited to ask me, I was in my room like 2 hours, the day has 24, for your information," she complained, her teeth locked together as she glared at him.
Tom licked his lips as he looked to the side. "Oh, you're actually jealous because I talked to Dorothea, aren't you?" She had been avoiding him for people to not think they were dating, and there she was in his face, acting like a girlfriend. Her blood was boiling too hot for her to move past it.
"It's not jealousy. I feel your lack of appreciation for what I do for you."
"Lack of appreciation? By not bothering you with more questions?"
"Sure and go bother the girl who couldn't tell you how to even do a strength potion to save her life!"
He ran a hand through his hair as he stopped on his tracks. She stopped as well, moving to face him. "Oh my ― Why are you even so jealous of Dorothea, of all people? Of me asking her something? I talk to you way more."
"You talk to me way more, but you say her first name like it's nothing. Meanwhile, you keep using my last one like we're some sort of business men who work together."
"You also use my last one. I could tell you the same thing."
"I don't claim that you're the person I talk to the most. I certainly haven't lately."
He gestured at her. "And why's that?"
"Stop deviating the conversation."
"What am I supposed to say here? No, Jennifer, I'll never talk to her again?"
When he dropped her name she forgot why they were even arguing, it felt nice, felt intimate even though he called almost everyone by their first name.
He chuckled as she didn't answer. "See? I know your name too, don't be so annoyed."
She sighed and suppressed the smile behind her cheeks. "Can you do what I asked?"
"You're smart, don't say ask like you didn't demand," he said, "of course I'll do it."
She nodded. "I... I don't like how people say we're a couple or into each other. That's why I have been ignoring you."
He stepped closer. "You care about what they say?" He seemed genuinely surprised at that.
"Not always, but people keep saying it. It's bothering me."
"We know it's not true. I don't think you should listen to them. People say that because of that party months ago. When they forget about that, they'll stop."
Jennifer looked down. "Maybe. But, I don't want it now."
"Don't punish yourself over it."
"I'm not ―"
He cut her off. "It's your choice to, but I would like it if you stopped ignoring me."
She looked back up. He seemed honest, more than usual. She appreciated that.
Maybe she could finally say she knew him. That brought her some peace. No matter what everyone said, at least she could tell he considered her a friend. Even if she couldn't even define that word. She hoped she was learning to.
It was nice to have a friend.
Chapter 8: Just be quiet, it's fine - 1939
Chapter Text
April 24th 1939
(First Year)
Being back to Hogwarts once more was yet another whiplash. Everything was the same, but Jennifer never felt the same. She was more familiar with the faces there than the ones at home. She would sometimes hold conversations with other kids, which before she'd never even want to.
But did she want to?
The professors would praise how well she was doing all the time, it was becoming less of a nuance. Professor Dumbledore seemed satisfied enough with her bothering him less and she felt sometimes hesitant to go ask him something. There was that small fear of him telling her once again she wasn't doing things right, or she was heading towards her mother's path. She didn't want to hear about that.
A part of her did wish to become like her mother. Rich, talented and have a husband that somewhat feared her. Not that she'd ever see herself with someone who could tie her down. The other part wished that she could be like her cousin Wanda. She wanted to have the sympathy and belief she did in the world. She didn't relate to her on that level. She liked the mysterious, forbidden and enticing things. When her mother was yelling at her, a part of her wished she could in a flick of a wrist cut her apart, watch the blood taint her expensive carved walls.
She knew that wasn't normal and she didn't wish it upon anyone else. Jennifer knew people would think she was crazed if she ever spoke about that. She thought maybe one person wouldn't, but she wasn't sure.
Not yet sure.
In the meantime, she sat down next to some other kids at the common room. Her cousin Rosier, Lestrange, Avery, Tom and Dorothea. They were talking before she showed up about Easter break. She sat down next to Dorothea on the sofa as soon as Rosier started talking.
"I swear to you, being home now was much worse than on Christmas," Rosier complained. "My sister is like 6 months now, she's even more annoying. She will not stop crying." The eyebags he still sported added to his words. He was sitting on the floor, head leaning back on a small sofa.
Jennifer hadn't yet met her own cousin, which was maybe weird, but she didn't feel in a rush to. Especially with Rosier's descriptions of her. But her parents had told her about it, she knew she was called Druella. She thought it was quite the old-fashioned name, it wasn't something she'd name her daughter.
"Oh, c'mon, babies don't just cry. They can be cute too," Dorothea said.
"They're cute so you'll feed them and change them," Tom added, "it's basic biology." Tom was sitting on another sofa, next to Lestrange.
"Since when do you know about babies?" Lestrange asked with a smile.
He didn't seemed teased with that remark. "I don't need to know about babies. You can read about it. Babies of all species are cute so we're more likely to care about them."
"He's right," Jennifer said. Tom made eye contact with her and smiled, gesturing at her.
"Where do you two even read about those things?" Dorothea whined.
"In books," Avery lowly muttered, but everyone still heard it. It earned him some chuckles. Avery was next to Dorothea, close to the armrest.
"How haven't they learned how to make her stop crying?" Jennifer asked.
He looked at her. "I think they read that letting her cry it out would be better for her. Better development or something."
"What if she needs something?" Dorothea asked, there was worry in her voice.
"I don't think they care about the difference. And if they don't, I don't either. Especially now that I am once more at peace." He moaned as he closed his eyes.
"Why have a baby if you aren't going to care for it?" Dorothea questioned.
"Babies can handle more than you'd think," Tom replied. "She'll be fine. She won't even remember what upset her at that age."
"I'm sure it has some impact," she argued.
"We get it, you have loving parents," Jennifer said. "Our family doesn't know what that word means."
Rosier snorted, opening his eyes again. "I go further and say no sacred family is quite right in the head."
"Does it have to do with all the inbreeding?" Dorothea asked.
Nearly everyone in that circle whined in disgust, including Jennifer.
"I take that as a yes," she whispered. "Is that also why you are all so scared of Muggleborns?"
"Mudbloods, you mean," Avery corrected with a laugh.
"No, I absolutely did not mean that," she said, leaning forward on the couch.
"Don't start fighting about stupid things like that," Tom said, leaning his head back.
"It's not stupid. Some of you talk as if you're Grindelwald himself, it's quite worrying," Dorothea argued. Her serious expression was such a contrast compared to the humorous one of the others.
"Nothing like that," Lestrange intervened. "I mean, he's being reckless. You can't start killing Muggles because you dislike them."
She jolted in her seat again, hands gesturing her words. "Then, what would you suggest is the correct way to go about exterminating them?" Dorothea asked.
"I think we're mixing things," Lestrange replied. "There's Muggles which I don't care about. Then, there's Mudbloods we have to study with in this school. What's with the mixing?"
"You're dumber than some of the Muggleborns I know."
Jennifer chuckled. "Dory, you're not a Muggleborn why are you so defensive about them?"
Dorothea turned to the right to look at her. "Can't I feel bad for them?"
She shrugged. "It's just factual they're worse at magic than us. I mean, we've been doing it for centuries. Suddenly, they come along and are supposed to be better?"
"They have literal magical abilities. Where are they supposed to go? Are they not supposed to know what it is they have? Are you not worried what might happen to them out there? What if they end up on some psychiatric hospital?"
"You're being dramatic," Jennifer dismissed.
Dorothea scoffed. "Whatever, guys. You love acting like you're all ao smart. You're dumb when it comes to basic sympathy." She got up and left, clearly annoyed.
Jennifer sighed. She felt bad, but was she wrong? Dorothea was taking on fights that weren't hers. It didn't even matter that much. Surely no one there thought it did besides her and those same Muggleborns that hope they weren't lesser than.
May 2nd 1939
(First Year)
They sneaked to the Restricted section once more. Jennifer seemed too comfortable doing so and Tom couldn't understand why. He was looking back the whole way there. Thankfully, no one had seen them, but if they weren't more comfortable it'd be likely to happen. He didn't want to seem like he was scared to Jennifer, though.
"We should go down a floor today," she suggested. She leaned back on the railing of the stairs and smiled at him.
"Is that you trying to convince me?" he asked.
"Does it work?" She twirled a piece of hair with her finger.
"Are we safe there?"
She threw her head back with a groan. "When are you getting brave? I'm tired of this drawn back and nonchalant act, Riddle"
"It's not an act. Aren't you worried of getting caught?" he asked.
Jennifer leaned away from the railing and turned away from him, walking towards the stairs. "If you're scared, walk back."
He bit down on his lower lip. He felt like she was manipulating him and he didn't have a choice but fall into it. He followed her without a word. As much as she boasted she walked slowly downstairs, eyes on all sides of the room. He eyed every corner of the room all the way down. It was as lit up as the upstairs part was, but at the end of the room the shades grew darker.
"Be careful, there's a ghost here," she told him as she saw him staring.
He widened his eyes. "What?"
"Shh," she shushed. "The silence spell won't work with him. Just be quiet, it's fine, he most likely won't bother us."
They both stepped off the stairs and moved to the left, a more lit up space. "You sure love playing with fire."
She chuckled. "Is that a Muggle expression? I like it."
He gulped. "Is it?"
"If you know it, I suppose not, right?" Jennifer looked back at him with that specific expression he hated.
He shrugged and gave her a same fake expression back. "Aren't the worlds intermingled at this point?"
"I wouldn't know." Of course, the Pureblood from the rich family would know nothing about Muggles. It was like she rubbed it in his face, but she didn't even know about his life. How could she get to him even knowing nothing at all?
Tom watched as she seemed to look for a book in particular. Jennifer carefully pointed her wand to read the spines of the books. She didn't dare to take out just any book to check what it was. "What are you searching, Garrick? Maybe I could help."
"I don't know the title. Just the shape of spine."
"Alright."
She continued searching. She wasn't wearing a fancy dress like on her birthday, she had her nightgown on. She didn't bother to put on some robes like he did. Her nightgown was just as he'd expect, quite long and wavy. Tom had seen plenty of girls in their nightgowns, having grown up where he did, but he knew some other boys would be blushing over it.
He had thought she was pretty plenty times, but he couldn't help it. He knew it was part of the reason she got away with the things she told him sometimes. There was a line and let her bounce on it. One day he'd know if he regretted it.
"Found it," she announced. She took out the book, slowly to not bother the other books. She was weighted down by the book and her wand fell down.
Tom almost bent down to get it, but before he could she nearly threw the book at him.
"Sorry, I'll get it."
He held the book and she got her wand again.
"I don't like people touching it," she said.
"I figured."
Jennifer nodded and looked to the side. "We can sit here," she pointed to the floor.
" You want to seat on the floor?"
She ignored him and sat down, carefully covering her legs with her nightgown. He sat down next to her. She started flipping through the book, as if she had read it before and was merely searching something in particular.
She turned off the light on her wand and did the motion shown on the book. They both jerked back at the sudden flash of light appearing in front of them. Tom instinctively closed his eyes. When he opened them, the spark had lessened in size and intensity, but it was still quite bright for the room.
"Oh, that's quite cool." It didn't seem harmful, but Tom wouldn't want it thrown at him.
Jennifer chuckled and played around with her wand, moving it to the side and watching the trail that followed. "Yeah. It says there it can kill you if shot at you."
Tom pointed his wand at the book still on her lap and surely it did say that. Also said not to try indoors, but they were fine. "That's not so cool."
She stopped the spell and grabbed the book again. "It's not what I was looking for." She started to flip through the book again. She grabbed his wrist so his wand would light up the pages. She settled on page eventually, skimming over it just as Tom was. There were some moving pictures, depicting the correct movement of the wand.
"Do it to me," she ordered, handing him the book before he could even finish reading the page.
"Is this the one?" he asked after reading it over again.
"Yes."
He practiced the movement without the words. "Are you sure?"
"Don't be a coward."
Tom chuckled, putting the book down. "No worries about me, Garrick. Just wondering if you can handle it."
"I can handle a lot of things you can't even dream of," she said.
He rolled his shoulders. He'd love to see that. "Well, you asked for it. Give me your arm."
Jennifer put out her arm. He pointed his wand at it. "If you do it wrong, I'll kill you."
"No, I think it'd kill you," he said. Before she could reply, he did the gestured and whispered the words for the spell.
It hit her arm at first and she gasped. Then he could see her veins light up as it traveled up and down her body. He could see the light coming from under her nightgown. She yelled as it reached her chest. Quickly she put a hand over her mouth.
He was tense for a few seconds as she seemed to be squirming in pain.
Then, she relaxed, and when she did it was night and day. A smile quickly stretched her lips and she leaned her head on the bookshelf as if to steady herself. Her entire skin was covered in freckles of light, veins in a faint sight. "Merlin, this is―"
"Good?"
"Yes," she breathed out. He could see it on her eyes too, bits of light. "Can I do it on you?"
He hesitated. He didn't want it to go wrong, but he didn't want to seem like even more of a coward in front of her. She was already eyeing him as he waited to answer. "Yes, do it."
He handed her the book, but she put it to the side. She grabbed her wand and pointed it at him. Tom extended his arm and she pointed at it. Should he be worried she was under the effects of that spell? Before he could worry too much, she did the spell too.
He instantly felt it. The rushing up his veins, making his skin bristle, the little hair on his arms flying up. He could anticipate the pain better than she did, only a groan leaving his mouth as he felt it. It was like being burnt alive from her every part of his body. But it passed as it came. Suddenly, there was a relaxation, making him gasp, nearly moan if hadn't held it.
He dug his fingers into the floor bellow. "How did you know about this spell?"
"We all have our secrets," she said.
"You love implying I have secrets."
Jennifer giggled. "What I love is this spell."
He leaned his head back onto the bookshelf fully, leaning down slightly. "I love it too, and I don't use that word lightly."
"What a tough guy you are," she joked.
He closed his eyes, his body twitching at the magic in his body.
"I could get used to this."
"Things this good can never be safe to use multiple times."
Jennifer hummed. "You sound like my mother talking about Firewhisky, Tom." She never said his name, but it sounded so sweet with her voice.
"Isn't it true? What is this spell even for?" he questioned. It didn't seem to have any usage besides pleasure.
"You're thinking too much."
Maybe he was. Or she didn't want to.
He felt her hand before he saw it. A sudden spark, a shock combed through his body, but it didn't feel totally bad. It was like their souls were touching, said in the least poetic way possible. She tilted his head so he'd face her.
"Your eyes have little lightning strikes," she told.
"Yours not quite."
She removed her hand and let out a little gasp, which meant she could feel it too before. His skin stopped burning. "Means I'm better at spells than you."
"You absolutely are not."
"Why so?"
"Simply aren't."
"You have some secrets abilities I need to find about?"
He chuckled. "How would you know?"
"I'm smart, I'll get it."
She absolutely would and he couldn't wait for it.
"If you can do this better then prove it, Riddle."
Tom raised his eyebrows at her.
They did the spell on each other a few more times before they decided to call it quits. They wobbled to their dorms, like the drunk people Tom had seen in London. He fell asleep still seeing sparks on his vision, but it was somehow relaxing.
He couldn't help but wonder a few things. How much was Jennifer into Dark Magic? How much did she really know about it? How much had she done?
Maybe he needed to stop wondering if she knew what he could do, and start wondering what she could do.
Chapter 9: That's how I like you - 1939
Chapter Text
June 19th 1939
(First Year)
The leaving feast was even greater than the other ones. The food was always great, of course, but something about the dread of going home made it more meaningful. She hadn't been home since Easter break, and that was surprisingly fine, her mom didn't really care about her experience at Hogwarts, and her dad asked lots of questions since he hadn't seen her since Christmas. She had such anxiety about going back, and somehow more as she left. Did they save all the sermons for the Summer holidays?
She'd find out the next day, as it would be the day to return home. She was sitting near her friends. Felicity still wouldn't even look at Dorothea, but she didn't seem to mind that Jennifer talked to her. And, Jenny did enjoy her, she was a bit intrusive, but as long as she didn't say anything too gossip-y they were fine. Willow followed what Felicity wanted, she didn't seem to have anything against Dorothea.
Jennifer honestly thought Dory was very fun and so did plenty of people. She had friends in other Houses too. She'd always speak up for what she believed in, even though Jennifer found it all to be quite stupid and worthless. She wouldn't argue in front of Dory. For Jenny it seemed wrong to be friends with other Houses. She had maybe said a few sentences to some occasional students, but not enough to know most of their names. If she had to choose one House she didn't mind it'd be Ravenclaws, as some people compared her to one plenty of times. Truthfully, what was ever wrong with being studious and smart?
She took it as a compliment,.
Not seeing the people she saw every day for two full months would be weird. Being under her parents' gaze once more.
Jenny stared at her finished plate, some food still in it that she did not want to eat any longer, she was full already. Or at least she had to be, couldn't start filling herself up with food just because she felt anxious, would be a bad habit. At least that's what her mum always told her.
Someone touched her shoulder. "Wanna go outside?" Tom asked.
Jenny looked back at him and instinctively smiled. He smiled back. She heard a cough and looked at the sound ― it was Dorothea who was sitting right next to her. She rolled her eyes as she noticed the smirk on her face. "If you're gonna make those faces, you're coming too." Jennifer got up and grabbed Dorothea's arm before she could answer. But she seemed very glad to follow them both, a grin on her face.
She did still tease her about the two of them. Jennifer was sometimes bothered, other times she didn't care and just let her talk what she wanted. Tom told her not to think about it and so she tried not to.
Jenny looked at Tom, who raised his eyebrows at her.
She shrugged as they all sneaked outside.
Dorothea paced ahead of them, hopping on the grass. Jennifer shook her head at how excited she seemed. "You're that excited to go back home?"
Dory sat down and fell back on the grass, laying star-fished on the ground. "Why, of course, aren't you?"
Jenny and Tom looked at each other with a knowing expression. "Why would we?" Jennifer wondered out loud.
"I don't know why you would, but I want to see my family again, my sister, it's going to be so much fun to teach her some magic we learned here," she said, eyes closed as she laid there on the grass.
Jennifer's heart squeezed tight. She'd never have that. She looked at Tom, who kept his expression blank, which usually meant there was something. She didn't know anything about his family, how they were, if he had siblings. Did he like them? Did they like him? What were his parents like? By their previous shared look, she assumed he shared a close experience to hers. "Valid reason. I think I prefer learning rather than teaching," Jenny replied with a chuckle.
"Me too," Tom muttered as he sat down next to Dorothea. Jennifer followed him, sitting next to him, instead of next to Dory.
She sat up and looked at them with a smile. "That's why you're so perfect for each other."
"Because we like learning?" Tom questioned, picking on some grass at his feet.
"Yes, but also because you're all mysterious and hang out where no one can see you―"
"You mean the library?" Jennifer interjected.
"Isn't that romantic? Like, seriously have you two snogged yet?"
Jennifer felt her cheeks get hot, and thank Merlin it was dark outside so Dory couldn't tease her about it. "Merlin, shut up."
"If we had, you'd probably be the first to find out," Tom replied, clearly not affected by the implications of Dorothea's question. Maybe she was just taking it too seriously. Meanwhile, he dismissed it so easily, but she couldn't help and feel so flustered. She didn't get it.
"I sure hope so," she added.
"Is Felicity still ignoring you?" Tom asked, changing the subject.
Jenny tilted her head. Since when was he keeping up with some girls' drama?
"Yeah," Dorothea replied sadly. "It's fine, I get why she's upset."
"I don't," Tom replied.
"Me neither," Jenny added. "She made up an entire idea of you in her head that she could get upset over."
She scoffed. "If you cared that much, you wouldn't talk to her as much as you do."
She looked at Tom and he leaned back with a smile. She looked at Dorothea. "We share a dorm, it'd be awkward if I didn't," she defended.
"Which I'm also on, you think it isn't weird for me?"
Jennifer opened her mouth to reply, but she wasn't sure how to defend herself. It wasn't as if she liked Felicity more. "I'm not going to create drama with her out of nowhere, she already glares at me for hanging out with you."
"Didn't take you for such a compliant and docile creature," Dorothea argued.
Jennifer gasped at her word usage.
"Are you kidding? She's the picture-perfect example of compliant and docile," Tom replied.
"What's wrong with following the rules?" Jenny whined. That was such a weird offence to her. Wasn't it the right thing? What's wrong with the right thing? She got up to plenty of not-docile with Tom anyway, but not like she'd argue that in front of Dorothea.
Tom chuckled. "You're lucky you're cute."
Dorothea couldn't help but smirk at that, even though she was riled up before.
"I..." Jenny sighed. "You are infuriating. Both of you."
"Y'know, as much as I see that, Tom, I also can't say she's so perfect as you say. She hangs out with you."
Tom frowned his face at her. "I'm the definition of perfect."
"Perfect isn't this aloof," she told, pointing between the two of them. "You two can fool all of them," she motioned to the castle, "but, I see it, you hate all of us."
"Maybe we just hate you," Tom replied.
She rolled her eyes and touched her chest as if offended. "I'm glad I can make you two bond." Then, suddenly got up. "Anyway, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," she announced.
Jennifer groaned. "If when we come back from Summer break, you're still insisting on that," she waved her hand around, "whatever it is ― I'm going to learn Dark Magic just to kill you."
Dorothea ignored her, even winked at her. "Enjoy your last hours alone."
"Stop implying that!" Jennifer yelled as she walked away laughing.
Tom looked at her with a smile. "The more you complain, the more she'll tease you."
"Tease me? She's also teasing you."
Tom raised an eyebrow at her. "Do I look teased?" No, he didn't.
Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Doesn't mean she isn't trying."
"If you say so."
"But, seriously, why are you never teased?" Jenny wondered, already raising her voice at him.
Tom laid back like Dorothea earlier, his hands behind his head, eyes on the sky. "Not when I don't feel personally attacked by it."
"Are you saying I do?"
"That's for you to figure out, not me."
"Are you implying I fancy you?"
Tom's eyes slipped from the sky to her face. He didn't say anything.
Jennifer looked back at him, turning fully around to face him. "I don't," she insisted, clearing some grass from her knees. It didn't work very well, her skirt was very stained, and it was bothering her.
He watched as she tried to pick away the grass on her thighs and skirt. She had such a disgusted expression. "I don't think you do, I was messing with you. I think I'd be able to tell."
"Do you have many girls be into you?" she asked.
"Some."
Ew. Jennifer rolled her eyes and as she looked at her hand she realized she got it all dirty with the grass. "Oh, no."
He sat up and grabbed her wrist, making her look at him. "Relax, one second of your life."
"I'm relaxed." She struggled against his grip, but he maintained it.
"You're worried about grass you can make disappear with a simple spell."
"Do you rely on magic for everything?"
"Don't act naive with me."
Jennifer glared at him. She hated the way he said it, like he knew her. Maybe he did. But she still believed it to be impossible, there was a lot he didn't know about. If he knew everything he wouldn't want to spend time with her nearly as much. He'd think she was weak, she could tell he didn't find weak appealing.
Tom sighed and pulled her as he laid back down. She fell next to him and yelled at the wet grass underneath her. "Just enjoy it," he whispered in her ear.
She cringed at the feeling of the grass but didn't move. He resumed his position with his hands behind his head. "How's this enjoyable?" she whined.
He looked at her and saw her try to scrub the grass off her arms. He grabbed her chin and pushed her head up.
"What are you ―" she shut up as she saw the stars above them.
"Enjoy it. Stop overthinking." He let go of her.
She noticed some stars falling down, a white trail behind them. "I didn't notice."
"Of course you didn't, you're all up there with stupid thoughts. Now, make a wish, Garrick."
"Making a wish does nothing." She closed her eyes and made a wish. I hope everything's alright this Summer.
"Some things are nice to believe in." It was weird thinking about Tom making wishes to the stars. What would he wish about?
She opened her eyes again and remembered what he said just seconds before. "It's not my fault they're there, y'know? The stupid thoughts."
"It isn't, but you decide if you can let them go for one night."
Jennifer shook her head. "You don't understand. It's not that simple, Riddle."
"What if I told you I do?"
She shook her head.
Tom looked to his left to stare at her, she couldn't look back. "You're better than your mum, much better than she'll ever be. I just know it."
She looked at him, quite shocked that he did understand it at least partially. "How can you say that?"
"I saw what you can do. What we both can do. I'll throw in a guess and say your mother couldn't do any of what you can at 12 years old."
"Wild guess," she murmured.
"I don't think you understand how talented you are."
It didn't feel right. Him sweet talking her. It wasn't like him to do so and it was making her uncomfortable. It made her feel things she didn't want to. "Shut up with that lame stuff."
He chuckled. "The one time I compliment you..."
"Sounds weird coming from you."
"I will be certain to only insult you from now on," Tom said.
Jennifer didn't know why, but that of all things made her smile. Then, there was that feeling again.
She'd be gone for two months. Everything would. Would it even be the same when they went back?
"Good. That's how I like you."
August 5th 1939
(Summer)
Nothing was fine. Jennifer glared at her ceiling. She wanted to destroy it. She could not sleep at 9 pm, but that was the curfew her stupid mum thought was best. Whatever she wants. She looked to the side and saw 00:13. That didn't seem normal either. What was even normal, was she normal? Nothing about her life was, it never was. Even if she hadn't lived anything else, her year at Hogwarts had taught her she was very different, she hated it.
She had so much anger. Pressure building, threatening to slip from her fingers. She could actually punch something, who cares about wands? If her mum could use her hands on her so could she.
No.
She couldn't.
She couldn't do anything.
Every day was torture and she wanted the Second Year to start so badly. She preferred those annoying and intruding people to the isolation and maniac thoughts that threatened to take over her. The worst part was things were always like this, and she knew how to handle it. She had slept safely at night even with the way her mum acted and berated her. She had anger, but it hadn't consumed her entire being before.
She had a theory that it was the magic, now stronger making things worse. Or just coming of age. Whatever it was she wanted to punch something. Even worse she didn't have the diary to let out all she was feeling, it was all in her head, screaming.
She turned to the other side and started at the other wall. Perfect pristine white walls.
Her parents weren't even impressed. Even her dad treated her newfound skills as casual magic you learn anywhere. She had Outstanding on all exams, but one (the cursed Astronomy classes), and they didn't even care. Fuck them. The word hung in her mind and she allowed it to echo like never before.
If only they knew. The things she had managed to do, the things she couldn't tell them or anyone. Anyone but...
Those spells on the Restricted Section with Tom. It had only been that one time, but ever since she had missed it. The feeling of it all, with him.
She sat up on the bed and pushed her bedsheets back. It was so hot. She got up and tiptoed around her bedroom as her floor creaked in some places. Her door was half opened as her parents didn't allow her to close it, ever. Her house was so big it didn't matter anyway, rarely anyone passed there besides servants, but they were more respectful than her parents.
She went down the hall to her parents' library. She stood near the bookshelf she most sought as a child. Her parents had a stash of Dark Magic books. She was pretty sure most of it was illegal, but somehow they had them. Did they have a protection spell? She wasn't sure, she didn't know enough about it yet. She could see them, though, clearly. She reached for the Secrets of the Dark Arts book. She had seen some pages, mostly at night like those where she was too curious for her own good. But, never with such anger as she had then. When she opened the book it instantly flipped to a page. She looked around but she was still alone, so she was confused.
She didn't do it. Had she?
She looked at the page and it had information on Jinxes, Hexes, and Curses. Their names and functions. Why was that page open? She wouldn't be doing any of those.
What was she even thinking?
The book exerted an energy that passed through her veins and it increased the longer she was holding it. She put the book back and let out a breath she had been holding. She turned around and leaned on the bookshelf then breathless.
It felt even worse than the Restricted Section. Worse than the stinging sparks that ran through her veins for days. These seemed to bury deep.
She felt truly scared.
"Jennifer, come here!" her mum called. She had a calm voice, surprisingly. She got up from the sofa and walked towards the dining area.
Her mum and dad were sitting at the dining table. She felt her heartbeat increase instantly at their expressions. Her mum motioned to the chair and it went back with magic. Jenny sat on it, keeping her back straight. Whenever they talked to her like that, both of them, it was to reprimand something they both agreed she did wrong.
"What happened?" Jennifer wondered, looking between them.
"Don't you have something to tell us?" her dad asked.
She furrowed her eyebrows trying to list in her mind all the things she could've done wrong. "What do you mean?"
"I didn't raise you to be this dumb, Jennifer," her mum firmly said, her expression turning into a glare. How could she have had such a calm voice earlier?
"What am I dumb for?" she casually asked, looking her mum dead in the eyes.
She tilted her head and raised her hand again, this time to send a gush of air toward Jennifer's cheek, it felt like a slap. Jennifer took it and looked back at her. "Don't talk back."
"How am I supposed to answer you then?" she asked again, furrowing her eyebrows. Her cheek was still stinging and her mum gulped.
"Jennifer, don't make this more complicated than it is," her dad said.
She didn't even look at him, kept her gaze on her mother who glared right back at her. "What did I do?"
Her mum grabbed something from the chair next to her. A book. Secrets of the Dark Arts. Jennifer's confidence went away and she could hear her own heartbeat in her ears, her parents probably could too.
"This wasn't in the spot it was meant to be," her dad revealed.
Jennifer shrugged. "Maybe the house-elf changed its place, they can be quite clumsy," she lied. Maybe they could take the blame for her, would be nice for a change.
Margaret got up on her seat, Hulbert tried to grab her arm but she slapped his hand away. Jennifer rolled her eyes at the interaction. He was such a little bitch for her. "Are you trying to annoy me?" her mum asked.
Jennifer leaned back on her seat and otherwise stayed perfectly still. "Why?"
"Lying is bad. Not correct. And I do not expect such things of you." Margaret held her hand up and a knife came flying from the kitchen. Jennifer widened her eyes as it went towards her. She held her arms up as it moved towards her. It cut her arm and she groaned in pain. She held her arm in her hands as the knife moved towards her neck, staying there, threatening.
"This is correct?" Jennifer asked, glancing at her dad who was looking off to the side. Couldn't even face what his wife did to his daughter.
"I don't know what got into you, young lady, but it better leave or you'll have something to remember me by the next year at Hogwarts," she threatened, the knife digging more into her neck.
Jennifer whimpered as it cut a bit of the flesh. It was a very sharp knife. Her breath was quite heavy so she accidentally moved towards it a bit.
"Margaret," her dad said to his wife.
"I want to hear her admit it," her mum said as she kept staring at her daughter, held at knifepoint.
"What do you need the book for, anyway?" Jennifer asked. "Why can't I look at it and you can?"
Margaret smiled. It scared Jenny more than if she had glared at her. "What don't I need it for, darling ?"
Jenny didn't quite understand, but the fact she was being threatened to tell the truth told her it had something to do with that. "I did it," she quickly said.
Her mum pushed the knife more into her neck and she moaned in pain. "P — please, stop."
"Margaret, stop," her dad spoke up.
"She can handle it," she argued. Jennifer could see the pleasure in her eyes from watching her daughter suffer.
"D - dad," she whimpered. There were tears in her eyes as she wondered for a moment if she could actually dig the knife into her throat.
Hulbert raised his hand and the knife fell on the table. Jennifer leaned forward as she gasped. She looked down and her arm had a cut that was bleeding.
Margaret looked at him bewildered.
"I think she got the idea, Margaret," he said to his wife.
She looked back at Jennifer. "Go to your room."
Jennifer wouldn't argue with that. She ran up to her room, closing the door even with the rules they had. She cried freely in her bedroom. It couldn't be heard downstairs so she didn't care to deafen the room. She looked down at her arm and as the tears fell from her eyes they fell on her arm. She wasn't going to heal it or bandage it, if she got a scar she'd wear it. She hoped her mum looked at her arm and felt bad.
Would she feel bad?
She moved to her vanity table and sat down on the chair. She looked at her neck in the mirror in front and noticed the blood also dripping down it.
She should've moved that knife toward her mother, stabbed her neck, watched the shock in her eyes, the blood dripping down the knife onto the table in front of them. Wanted to see her dad asking her 'what she had done' and holding his wife in his embrace. She would've smiled as the life left her mum's eyes.
It was such an unconscious thing and she didn't know where it came from. Maybe from all the anger inside her, that was even worse after she got attacked and couldn't even defend herself.
She held her hand up to her neck and pressed on the wound, she winced at the pain but it calmed down her anger, letting it out somewhere. She watched her cheeks change color in the mirror, red. She liked it, she felt embarrassed for liking it. She shook her head at the face in the mirror.
Who was she anyway?
She wanted the face to disappear, she wanted to disappear, be someone else. Why couldn't she have been born into a family that loved her? With normal people? Why couldn't she be normal? Why couldn't she like anyone? Why couldn't she like anything besides what she was ordered to?
Even the dark magic. It was her parents' thing. Nothing was hers.
She was nothing.
She raised her fist and punched the girl in the mirror. She kept her mouth shut as she groaned loudly. There was glass on her knuckles, there was shattered glass. She gasped at what she had done. She stayed quiet and tried to see if there was any noise outside.
Jennifer shook her hand and let some of the glass fall down. She couldn't tell her parents, but she had to. She was going to get punished worse, she broke something.
The panic inside her rose and she started crying harder. The pain of her hand filled her senses and there was no anger to make it tolerable. She heard a knock and she instantly gulped.
"Master Jennifer, are you alright?" It was the house-elf, the one she wanted to blame earlier. Fuck. She felt bad, hearing his voice, the niceness behind it.
She moved quickly to open her door and pushed him inside. "Don't say anything, please, I need you to fix that. Don't tell my parents," she ordered, looking down at the creature.
He looked at the vanity table and at her, her hand, arm, and neck. He knew her mum and dad well and knew better than to ask questions. "It'll be hard."
"Do it or I'll say you did it," she firmly replied. She wanted to take it back, she hated the scared look on his face, she looked to the side and sniffled.
"Yes. Let me take care of your hand too, then, master."
She wasn't sure how she'd explain that.
Chapter 10: He wouldn't let it happen - 1939
Notes:
back to hogwarts we go
Chapter Text
September 1st 1939
(Second Year)
Summer had been tedious and as though the sun shined bright it was never quite sunny in London. Not like how it could be in Hogwarts. Going back to the orphanage after the mind-blowing experience he had for 9 months, it was torture. But he could handle it. The kids teased him about having gone to a "private school" and he knew he couldn't get in trouble, couldn't risk being sent away somewhere.
He had to let them ridicule him, but still manage to harm them with his words.
He knew it could only get worse as time went on, and he didn't look forward to the next Summers. He hoped soon he could possibly stay at Hogwarts instead. There already was that option for Christmas which he wished to take that Year. He simply dreaded people noticing something was off, that he didn't have parents, magical parents waiting for him. He saw the way people mocked Dorothea for having Muggleborn friends. If they knew he was raised by Muggles, basically a Muggle himself...
But he wasn't, was he?
He was much better than a mere Muggle.
He simply had to find who his parents actually were so he stopped feeling scared about everyone finding out. Tom didn't like not being ahead. One person could know and then everyone would as well, and they wouldn't think he was talented anymore. Not even the professors.
No. He had to know before anyone did, then he'd have control. Over everything and everyone. He needed to have that control and then he could relax. That was all he needed. Meanwhile, he had to act like everyone else did, be nice and charming to people. He couldn't explore anything else, not with anyone.
At least he thought so before Jennifer.
She took him completely out of his box, the one had perfectly curated to everyone including her. During the Summer he truly realised how insane she might be. She was even a better actress than he was and if his secret was one as great as this, what could be hers? Tom didn't intend of letting her go.
Especially since she seemed determined in figuring him out. He wouldn't let it happen.
"Mate, no, you don't get it," Avery said, shaking his head at Lestrange. "If acceptable is in the name, why would it not be?"
"There are 2 grades above it, it's clearly not that acceptable," Lestrange argued.
"Who has an Outstanding at Potions besides like Garrick or something?"
Tom looked away from the people passing on the train to him. "I had an Outstanding."
Avery chuckled. "Isn't that because Slughorn loves you?"
"Or because I'm great at Potions."
"Right, of course," Lestrange muttered.
Tom sighed. They weren't wrong, but he didn't want them thinking that. "Pure defamation." He straightened his back and leaned over the table, facing Avery. "So did your parents give you a bad time over your grades?"
He shrugged. "No. They tried, but I ignored them. Still bothered me, though. I suppose I'll try harder this year." He didn't sound very convincing.
Lestrange looked at Tom, they shared a look.
"I mean it!"
"You're quite good at your Quidditch affairs. Maybe stick to that," Tom said. He looked to the side, scanning the room quickly. No one of interest.
Avery looked in the direction he was looking. "I know you're trying to insult me, but I am."
He furrowed his eyebrows. He knew he played, but he didn't think he took it that seriously. "What? Do you want to be a Quidditch player in the future?" Tom asked.
"Merlin, no. My parents would not let me. They don't consider it a true profession."
"That's quite stupid," Lestrange said. "It pays well."
Avery shrugged. "I'm fine with it. I'll work somewhere at the ministry."
"You can work on the sports department," Lestrange suggested.
He frowned his face. "I don't know about that, mate."
Tom continued looking around once more.
"Who are you looking for?" Avery questioned, tracking his eyes.
"No one," he muttered, maybe too quickly as the boys instantly smiled.
"Now we know it's Jennifer," Lestrange said.
Tom looked down. "Don't say it like that. She doesn't like when people imply that."
"She doesn't like it?" Lestrange repeated.
"Yeah, I was about to say, so you don't mind?" Avery asked.
Tom looked at him with a glare. "I don't care. It's not true anyway." They laughed with each other and he didn't have patience to stand it. He got up. "I'll be back."
"Tell her hey for us!" Lestrange teased, still laughing.
He paced to another carriage. He didn't want to admit to himself that he was looking for her, but of course he was. There had been enough time on that trip and whenever he though the might see her, more time passed. It was weird.
"You look puzzled, Riddle," he heard a female voice say.
He sighed and stretched his mouth before he turned around, giving her a fake smile. "Felicity Starling," he greeted, eyeing her up and down.
She giggled and he thought it was quite exaggerated. "Your voice is deeper," she said.
Tom hadn't thought about that. No one had mentioned it to him either. "Good to know."
She smiled. "I'm over Malfoy, y'know? I had a lot of time to think it over and he is just a plain on... wanker. No other way to say it."
He looked around again. Still, no Jenny. "I'm happy for you."
"I was so hung up over nothing, he wasn't worth all that," she said.
He nodded. "Does that mean Dorothea is no longer a threat to you?" he questioned.
"Please, she never was. That rumor was the closest thing she got to having him," she scoffed.
That answered his question. "I'm pretty sure she left him, that's why he created the rumor," Tom argued.
Felicity shrugged. "That's what she says. She mostly likely got rejected and feels embarrassed."
That didn't sound like something Dorothea would do.
"Better than being rejected and almost killing someone," Tom retorted. He liked the way her smile dropped to a frown.
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "He didn't reject me."
He nodded. "Sure, he didn't, Starling."
Felicity scoffed again and moved past him, her shoulder hitting his as she moved away.
Tom chuckled at her. As he looked away from the angry little girl he saw Jennifer coming out of the other carriage. Her eyes instantly locked with his and she moved towards him. "Hey, I was wondering why I was having so much fun," she greeted. Her words held no weight when she had moved across the entire carriage just to talk to him.
He smiled at her. "Glad I can be here to ruin it."
She shook her head and moved a still perfectly made curl behind her ear. His smile diminished as he noticed the multiple scratch marks on her hand, they seemed to have been healing for weeks, and there was just a crust on them. She noticed his gaze and visibly froze.
"Got a cat during the Summer?" he tried to lightly ask but she didn't chuckle. He looked around and moved closer to her. When she didn't answer he grabbed her arm and they both walked down the corridor to where the small closed rooms were.
She slammed the door shut, her back against it. "It's not as bad as you think."
"Was it your mother?" he instantly questioned. He did remember how her neck looked the first time he ever saw her.
She sighed, not even questioning why he would say that. "I hurt myself on some glass. I know it looks bad, but —"
"Was that some glass too?" he asked pointing to her neck.
She shrugged. "Don't we all have scars?"
Tom stepped closer to her. "What actually happened, Garrick?"
Jennifer shook her head.
He wouldn't take that for an answer. "Was it? Was it her?"
She didn't instantly deny it.
"She hurts you, doesn't she?"
"Why would you even care?" she snapped.
"I'm your friend, aren't I?" He was used to that word meaning nothing, but he felt as if he truly meant it.
She hesitated. "You are. But, you've thrown a spell at me too."
"Come off it. How's that even remotely comparable?" Not to mention the effects of the spell right after. He also felt it, he'd even say he never felt anything quite like it. She was comparing so he wouldn't be right.
She moved away from the door, towards the seats. She sat down, crossing her legs. He hadn't seen her in so long, but it felt as if they were never apart. She did look older, taller.
"Jennifer."
"Yes," she muttered. She was still looking down, leg bouncing.
Tom sat down on the seat next to her. He stared at her, even though she didn't return the look back. "What happened?"
"I... I don't know how to... I've never talked about it."
He gulped. Not like he knew what to say either. "How did she cut your neck?"
"Knife. Magic."
He could picture it, even with two words. "What about your hand?"
"I punched a mirror."
Tom tried to imagine that in his head. "Why would you do that?" he asked, but he knew why. He had felt close to punching some things before. Magic made those urges easier.
She shrugged. "It just happened, I've been so — " she cut herself off to shake her head.
"So what?" he pressed but she continued shaking her head.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
Did she get angry? Did it happen in her house? Those seemed like easy things to explain. He probably wouldn't tell her either if the rolls were reversed, so it was fair.
"How was your Summer?" she asked after some silence between them. She was finally looking at him again, blue eyes and wide pupils.
Tom's mind flashed to boredom, pain and wanting to inflict it. "The usual."
Jennifer scoffed. "I don't know what that is for you, Riddle."
He opened his mouth, but then closed it. He wasn't sure how to phrase it as not give too much away.
"Good?" she suggested.
Tom widened his eyes. "Definitely not how I'd describe it."
"That was so elucidative, thank you so much," she replied with a sardonic tone.
Tom grabbed a strand of her hair and threw it on her face. She slapped his hand away and straightened it with a scowl. He liked that it messed the curls a bit, her trying to put it together made her hair more fluffy, less put together, ironically. "It's not nice to answer like that, Garrick," he mocked back.
She looked at him, still with the same scowl. "You're the one giving me lame answers. I ask you a question and you answer in the most boring way possible."
"You're doing the same to me."
She looked away from him and he cursed himself.
"Not that you need to talk about it. I — You don't need to."
"So respectful, Riddle," she teased, grin on her lips.
"Should I not be?" he asked.
She looked at him. "Doesn't seem much like you. I'd say you're awful at it."
He raised his eyebrows. "Awful at being respectful?"
"Yeah, I can tell you don't mean it. If you could you'd prod into my head to see what happened."
If he could.
"But you can't do that, it'd make me upset."
Tom tilted his head. "Do you really want to go there? I think you're acting innocent on purpose. I don't think it bothers you as much as you let on."
She scoffed. "Do you have to challenge me in everything?"
"You started it."
"Well, it does bother me, otherwise I'd tell you what happened."
"Alright."
Jennifer rolled her eyes. "You give up quite easily."
"Do I? Or do you want me to argue with you?" he asked. Not that we was opposed to it.
She uncrossed her legs. "No."
"It's funny how you fool everyone. I never said it, but I think it all the time. You do things I would never in a million years guess."
Jennifer looked as if she had never considered that before. As if her occasional displays of insanity were an accident. He supposed that made her even more insane. "We all have different shells we put on."
"You think those 12-year-olds are as obsessed with Dark Magic as you are? They have hardly heard of it. You don't have the same shell they do."
She didn't deny it. "Just because we went to the Restricted section twice you think I'm obsessed?" she asked.
"I saw it. I saw the way you looked at me, that stupid light on your eyes. And I don't even mean the literal lightning strike. You liked it way too much."
Jennifer shook her head. "We shouldn't talk about that."
"Because you say so?"
"Because for all things that matter, it didn't happen."
He eyed her, raising his eyebrows. She crossed her arms, face pouty and angry. "You think it isn't related to you wanting to punch a mirror?" he questioned.
"Riddle," she said in a warning tone.
"What if I do talk about it?" he challenged, leaning closer to her. "What if I want to talk about how you loved getting that pain inflicted on you? How you told me to do it again?"
She cringed her face. "That sounds—"
"Doesn't it?" He noticed the flush on her cheeks. He could still have something over her. "What are you going to do about it?"
Jennifer licked the inside of her cheek. "Kill you?"
"Would you?"
She squinted at him. "Maybe I would. Annoy me more, I'll try it."
"I don't think that's true."
Jennifer pushed him back, he gave her some space. "It doesn't matter what you think. None of this matters actually. You saying I'm into Dark Magic as if it's a candy. You know why?"
"Oh, why, Garrick?" he asked as if in shock.
"No one would believe you if you even implied it."
He laughed. "You think I plan on telling anyone?"
"I definitely shouldn't trust you as much as I do because I think you absolutely would."
Tom hummed. "I don't tell secrets, Garrick."
"Then, why do I feel like you are going to hold this over me?"
He smiled. "Because you like feeling miserable apparently."
She rolled her eyes. "You're absolutely mad."
"So are you."
Jennifer moved to get up and he grabbed her wrist before she could completely get up. He pushed her back down. She let herself be dragged.
"I'll stop." Sorry. He swiped his thumb across her wrist, moving it to the back of her hand. He felt the scars there, she didn't twitch so it most likely didn't hurt anymore. He knew it was quite manipulative, he could see it in her eyes as she looked down that she wasn't quite as tense anymore.
She pulled her hand out of his grip, but didn't try to get up again.
"You don't like me talking about it? I won't. But if you want to go back there this year—"
"I don't," she quickly interrupted. "It was fun one time. I don't need to do it again, no matter what you want to imply."
Looking at her, he did believe her. Would a doe-eyed, blonde with curly hair, rose colored lips girl ever want to be essentially shocked with magic in the first place? But there was something to it. Something to even the scars she showed. She was still too put together to even admit to him she liked the Dark Arts when asked, the one who clearly knew she did.
"I mean it, stop looking at me like that."
He raised his hands.
Maybe he dismissed things too fast, let her get away with it. What else was he supposed to have done?
just_someone11 on Chapter 2 Sat 29 Jul 2023 06:55PM UTC
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leebasii on Chapter 2 Sat 29 Jul 2023 08:20PM UTC
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neurodivergentpenguin on Chapter 2 Thu 27 Feb 2025 01:59AM UTC
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leebasii on Chapter 2 Thu 27 Feb 2025 08:14AM UTC
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