Swallow the Thorns

by JadeDragon343

Summary:

A story about my character, Maeria. This is a Databrawl Roblox fic so apologies for anything cringe. Also there will be inconsistency's but that should be taken as being an AU.

Notes:

A/N
I haven't written for a while
I really wanted to do this for a while too lmao
Continuity Errors should be taken as it being an AU

Chapter 1: Where the Thorns Lie

"You couldn't have just stayed out of the way?"

I remember my father asking me those words. I was about eight; I was getting tired of running from Viruses. Mother had already gone ahead, while Father tried dragging me along. Now that I look back on it, I wonder why he did. With everything he had put me through and the times he'd chosen Mom over me, I would assume that he would've had no care in the world for me. He pulled on my arm so aggressively, I had to have had bruises in my boxy skin. 

 

We had been running for a while, the computer in absolute chaos. I didn't expect a ROM to become so corrupt, let alone be able to take over the two factions meant for destroying the computer in the first place. The day we saw our people; the Malware we called brothers and sisters suddenly start to fight each other. Full suits of armor shining in all of their glory, charging to stab the same people against their new ruler's belief. Most Malware and Viruses ran and tried to go into hiding. Any others alive were unheard of, or their bodies riddled the streets with shards and blood as if they were never there.

 

I vividly remember how malnourished I was, to the point that my boxy body wasn't even decipherable from a triangle. Any line or curve that would've shown what I looked like was thin and wrinkled, and I could barely scrounge anywhere on the street for something to consume or even clean enough drink. Mother and Father would usually go out themselves to find such, but would never bring any back for me if they did find some. I remember resorting to some small scraps of a Data Burger I had found near the trashcan of a recently destroyed restaurant. Living off that for 3 days was torture, but I don't think I had tasted anything as mouthwatering and flavorsome as that burger, or maybe I was just hungry.

 

Father would always try to ignore me when I was hungry, but Mother already did that enough. Back then I thought it was because he cared, but now I believe it was due to the fact he pitied me at how my mother would try to forget I was her child. It didn't bother me much, since they never showed love before I never got attached to it. There was no need to worry, aside from the fact that if they left me behind, I had to find them. It was the best option due to not many others being around, and trust was never something I quite acquired while running. I much preferred staying by them than being alone on the streets; that was a surefire way of making sure I got myself killed. At least the three of us together stopped us from being mugged as much.

 

It really didn't avoid me getting injured though. 

When I was really young, even before all this, Mother had most likely dropped me on my head. My hair was missing in a spot of my head, and that section would seem as though it was glitched. It left a nice sized crater in the side of my head, which in turn caused Mother to consistently cover it in bandages to make it seem like I wasn't missing a chunk of my head. Sure it was annoying, but I had to deal with it. She never told me how I got it either, so I just chose to ignore it. Besides, it wasn't very obvious if I were to cover it with my hair as well.  When I was eleven, I had gotten to the point of accepting my current circumstances. It was hard running constantly. With no food, and always on the move, I was constantly exhausted. I had headaches and body aches no matter what I did, and even though it hurt, I just had to keep pushing apparently. I was okay with it though. It was better than being abandoned, and it was better than being dead. Who was I to complain when it came to my life? I hadn't been able to choose it and I was just grateful enough that I was alive.

 

I did regret that later in the day though, after Father told us we had found a place to reside. He brought us to this small, and mostly unharmed shelter. It didn't have much, but it did have two beds. When I first laid down, It felt heavenly to just lay there. Comfortably and without fear. I had fallen asleep quickly, and my parents followed soon after as we all slept like rocks. We were woken what seemed to be hours later, still extremely late though. Being awakened to the sound of screams wasn't the nicest thing, and I was the first one up. Father followed quickly after though, when he saw I went to peek out the door. There I saw a Virus, stabbing a fellow Malware through the chest. I remember seeing them fall dead in front of them, and I froze. I froze when I locked eyes with that same Virus, and started running when I heard my father running the opposite direction with my mother. I followed in suit, as I heard a yell and more footsteps start to run as well.

 

As I ran I could hear the sounds of explosions behind me; the ground rumbling beneath my feet. I couldn't mistake those as mines being thrown, as multiple places were being lit aflame and falling to dust at the same time. I remember grabbing onto my Father's shirt, holding on tight. I couldn't tell if my grip was slipping because of the jerky motions or if he was trying to shake me off, and frankly I didn't care. I was just happy to still be nearby him. While we ran we became cornered, and the once open roads that I had remembered ended up becoming closed in, containing my family and I, with myself at the front. I remember hearing the laugh of the Virus when he looked down at me, holding that godforsaken mine in hand. I remember looking back at my Father, terrified, thinking I was about to die. Praying that I wasn't going to. But he gave me a look, a comforting one. It almost looked solemn as he whispered to me.

 

"Maeria, honey. I'm sorry, alright?"

 

That sentence confused me, and it still confuses me to this day. I could barely get a word out, I wanted to ask why he was sorry. But I quickly could realize what was wrong when I felt his hands on my back, forcing me forward. Into the handheld mine that the Virus was holding. I heard his feet scurry away, as the mine exploded nearby my face. I could feel its shrapnel barrage at my face, tearing through it like butter. I collapsed to the ground, holding my face in hand. Hearing the Virus run away after my parents now. Looking down at the ground I could see multiple shards around, along with pooling of a bright blue substance. I held my cheek, feeling nothing in its place. Just a crater that was torn apart. The feeling of how I was gasping for a breath still hurts- I could barely get my hoodie off in time to put pressure on the wound. 

 

Trudging along the road was hard along with keeping pressure on the wound. I remember seeing the palace in the middle of the computer, the defenses scattered all around it like an ocean of weapons and spikes. The defenses on the fences looked like thorns, as if each one was carved into the sharpest point that it could be by bare hands. I continued to press the hoodie into my face as I studied it, seeing the gates open to reveal the ROM behind them stepping out to study the progress most likely of his soldiers. I didn't mean to just stand there. Maybe it was the weight in my legs of how weak I felt, but I couldn't take even a step. As I felt more of my face burn in agonizing pain and more liquid from my cheek run down my hand I had collapsed, and the ground felt incredible. It was the softest thing I had slept on at the time. The sky seemed to fade in and out, or maybe that was just me trying to keep my eye open as I heard thumping from nearby arrive toward me before I slipped into my rest. 

***

I woke up in what I know now to have been the castles barracks for the knights. A multitude of Malware and Virus lay injured aside and across from me, and as I shot up from my bed with a yelp I could see as one or two struggled to look over to me with angry expressions. My hand immediately shot to my face, as I felt a soft cloth covering the entire bottom half of it. It was a mask, and underneath I could feel the layered wrapping of bandages around my cheek. My hoodie was missing, and along with the new mask I had been changed into what seemed to be heavy workout clothing? I had a tank top and shorts on, and honestly I was freezing in the underground room. I weakly stood, feeling my senses rush through myself as I held my lightheaded self. Trotting up the nearby stairs into the level above I had bumped into the ROM that I had seen outside, looking up at him. I didn't know how to bow to him, so I just stood and stared at the extremely tall man looking down at me. 

 

"Ah, the Malware I had found outside. You're very young, I'm surprised you lived after what my solider did to you." He spoke in a low and gruff voice, one that I couldn't get out of my head. It enveloped around my senses as I looked up at him, silent. Nodding to him gently. Even while I was eleven I could still comprehend that I shouldn't talk back to this man, and I guess he could sense that. The sick smile that creeped across his face still replays in my memory, and the feeling of his hand upon the skin of my shoulder comforted me back then. I guess that I would've been taken care of by him, he did pick me up off the road. I still wonder why he did. He led me away to a large hall, suddenly handing me some food. To a child, a fresh, non-moldy Data burger would've been normal. But to me, it was like gold. That same burger I had survived for days off of was in front of me, but fresh. Savory. I couldn't stop my mouth from watering as I suddenly snatched it up and took a large bite out of it, along with another. Then another. When I knew it, it was gone just as fast as it was placed in front of me. I could hear the chuckle from the ROM behind me, sighing as he looked at me. 

 

"Tastes nice, doesn't it?" He spoke softly, as I nodded in response. Holding my stomach in my hands. 

"...Yes, sir. It does." 

 

Apparently my speech must've caught him off guard because he ushered a laugh, patting my back hard enough that I leaned forward and grunted from the smack. 

 

"She speaks doesn't she? Well that makes my job a hell of a lot easier, I thought you were mute after your face became such a deformity." He said it so casually that it caught me off guard, but thankfully the mask he had given me covered the existential frown that had appeared on my face after he did. He pulled up a chair at the same table close to me, looking down and speaking to me in a soft tone now. I was wrapped around his finger at this point, it seemed like it was too good to be true. To have someone to pay attention to me, hand me free food, it felt like a dream. Especially since my blocky cheek was now an open crater of shard. 

 

"Would you like this to be how you live for at least a while, darling?" He said. If I had known any better, I probably would've said no and ran out of there, even if I had gotten killed. But, I didn't know better, and I had nodded violently without a second thought. Food, a place to live and sleep, clothes on my back, and protection. It was a good replacement for what I had seemed to lose in this war, and honestly I was desperate for it. After my nod he had gotten up in my face, and this horrible smell of what seemed to be smoke on his breath invaded my senses so much I thought I was going to be sick. 

 

"I can give you this for a while, alright? But you need to promise me something, is that okay?" His thick voice sounded so trusting. I couldn't help but agree to it. 

 

"...Yes." 

 

"Perfect. I'll give you all of this, only if you fight for my side of the war. You start in two days, tomorrow to get the... 'tour', and the next for training. I'll make you the best soldier you could ever become, strong enough to defend yourself and to kill. But if you ever defy me, or dare I say, disobey me or harm me. I'll make sure that I rip all of this away from you.-"

 

"...Do you understand?" 

 

Inside I knew I had to say no. I knew I should've said no, I should've found a better way out. But I don't think I could've gotten out of that computer without taking the job. I had ushered a small yes in response, and he quickly stood. Gripping my arm in his hand tightly he dragged me along, to an area where I would end up meeting my future General, who would also be dragging me along in training. I could feel my future starting to pile on me, but he looked down at me. It was like he knew something I didn't- he knew what he would've turned me into. 

 

"You're going to be a great soldier, and I'll make sure of it."

Chapter 2: Work Harder, Do better

Summary:

Chapter 2 to the story, TW: Dark themes of abuse and descriptive narratives of pain. Skip if you don't like that stuff.

Notes:

Hey! As usual, any suggestions or questions would be great. I hope you enjoy!

"Again!"

 

That's the word I heard as I reached the top of the hill, allowing the extremely heavy spherical ball roll back down it. I had been pushing it over and over again up that hill for at least a few days after I had accepted the offer to live in and work for the castle. I don't know why my training was split apart with the rest, and I still don't know. I assume at the time that the ROM had seen something I had not when it came to my strength, especially after I got a little food in my belly. There was nothing wrong with the situation, and I was quite content at the time. But I found the training to be grueling, repetitive, and honestly ridiculous. I could've sworn I saw a similar form on training from my Malware Mythology books that I would find in the library. Shaking my head I trudged back down the hill, feeling my calves screaming at me from being on fire for so long. I might as well have been burning them alive, because once I reached the bottom again I got back in the same position. My sore shoulder against the sphere, my body at an angle as I started to push it back up, the familiar pain in my calves tightening up again.

 

I grunted as I forced my way up the hill, groaning now. Pushing was the hardest bit of this stupid exercise, and my childish body wasn't taking it well. As I pushed, I could heard the ROM walking up next to me. Starting to chat to me, transforming from my trainer and ruler into what I would have assumed to be a friend.

 

"It's difficult, isn't it? To have to push so hard and do it all over again?" He said. I can remember the way his tone was laced with soft mockery, and the faint smirk he had as I continued to struggle up the hill. I nodded quietly, as my breaths were focused on soft and struggle filled panting and grunts. The sweat that engulfed my body and hands made it even harder to grip onto the metallic sphere, as I groaned out and pushed hard.

"No Answer? Really? Come on. Maeria, how do you feel right now?" He continued on, pestering me. Even getting close enough to me that I swear I can still feel the chills his hot breath on my ear had given me. He was creepy, being so close to me when I was so young. I think at the time we had a twelve year age gap, and I could feel the way my body was rejecting him being so inherently disturbing to me. I remember my voice was hoarse from struggling so much, and it came out scratchy when I had replied.

 

"S-Sore. I feel- Agh. Extremely sore. It's like my body is on fire..." I remember I stuttered out, continuing to push. The more I did the more I could see the top of the hill, and the more my body wanted to give up then and there. I was panting hard, and I swear I could heard the Prince chuckling at my struggle. It sounded sick, and I was too exhausted to care. I wanted to retaliate, maybe even ask why he was chuckling at me, but I bit my tongue under the forsaken mask over my face and continued pushing.

 

"Sore? Aww, well. This is your last time, okay, Darling? I promise, You can relax for a few minutes after this."

 

Those words flooded my head as my triangular shaped eye shot open. It took the word 'relax' to be embedded into my brain before my legs ceased their incessant whining, and I had started to push. Push, push, push, and a cry escaped my lips. If it was from pain, or a rush of adrenaline, I'll never know. But I know that what came over me made the Prince start laughing in such a sick manner. I was panting and growling, practically like a feral dog as in the next few minutes I had made it to the top. I breathed a sigh of release as I allowed it to roll down the hill, and collapsed at the top. Gasping for a breath like it was the last one I'd ever get. I went to take off my mask, to get a better breather, but the Prince ROM has shoved his hands over my face and forced it back on.

 

"I'm very proud of you, Maeria. You did so well for me, I'm impressed with your work." He said, but instead of mocking me it was gentle. Almost loving. My head filled with the words of affirmation and praise he had given me, and I'll admit, maybe my 'daddy issues' fed off the words of comfort he gave. But at the time, it felt so nice to have someone who cared, like a big brother. A smile laced my face under my mask, and as he helped me up I guess he could sense it. He let out a short chuckle, before bringing me inside. Holding me up with his hand on the small of my back to make sure I didn't fall from my violent stumbling after the long hours of hard work.

 

I felt loved. I felt like I had a friend, someone who cared. It made me happy. I was actually happy. 

 

***

 

Years went by, and by now I was about 17. The Prince, who's name I had learned was Cynfael, had continued to train me for those couple of months before handing me over to my General. His name I had forgotten, he didn't pay much attention to me. I had apparently became skilled enough to be trusted on my own, which I was thankful for. The armor I had gotten was basic, clearly had belonged to someone else, and I stayed up late cleaning and polishing it. The scratches didn't go away, but they did add a little bit of character to the shine I had buffed into the silver armor. I had taken extra time in the barracks due to it being a free day, and when I looked in the mirror I felt extremely proud. I couldn't see the malnourished child I was before, and instead, I had became the strong woman I had always dreamed of being. For a moment, I felt like I had a normal job. I was well fed, and I had a place to sleep. Maybe not many friends, but co-workers were basically the same thing, right? 

 

As I stared in the mirror, Cynfael had came down. Moving his hand to beckon me away from my bed and follow him. I obliged of course, it had been a while since we had spoken one on one. But as I went up the stairs, I could feel a pit start to form in my stomach. I didn't know why I was scared; I was just assuming it was because he was still a higher level of rank and respect.

 

As I followed he led me into the throne room. It was closed off, and as I scanned the brightly colored area covered in riches, I could see a chain. One a malware would regularly use, but it was resting on his throne. I could feel my heart start to sneak its way into my throat, and the pressure built as I looked back at his face. 

 

"Your highness...What seems to be the conundrum? I though yesterday's mission was a success, we took down an army of Programs single handedly." I had stated it confidently, as I stood straight. I could feel my palms start to sweat, as Cyn didn't respond, but instead took large strides over to the chain and picked it up, the hoops falling between his slender fingers. I started to tremble, were those goosebumps on my skin? I couldn't remember. He then walked over to me and pushed down on my shoulders, causing me to drop to my knees. The metal polyenes I wore hit the ground as my knees sunk into the back of them, and Cynfael quickly tilted up my face with his free hand. I guess he could feel my quick breathing, because he rubbed my head gently. Coming around and popping my armor pieces off of the chest and the back, leaving me in my muscle tank-top I wore underneath. My body suddenly jolted as I felt cold hands reaching and pulling the back of my shirt up, and I quickly moved away, I didn't know what he was thinking. 

 

"Maeria. I understand the mission went well, and you did a good job. But you failed to meet my requirements." He spoke with a tone of assertiveness, and I quickly started to tremble. He slipped his hands back down along my back, as he ran the chain along it. I could feel each loop from the metal along it, each groove seemed to taunt me, as if preparing me for was going to happen next.

"My requirements were that you destroy the army, and find their residency containing the rest. Their base, their encampment, and just like the last few missions-" He took a pause, to lean down near my ear and whisper. "-You failed to have done that. You failed to find it again. It's been almost six plus missions with you leading them, and you failed to find them."

 

"But sir it's been like that with every mission-" I had started, surprised my voice came out in a plea. He pulled my arms behind my back, making me interlock them behind me. I sat there on my knees, waiting for his words. Practically on edge for what he was going to announce to me next about my failure. 

 

":-Exactly. It's been like that every mission, and I trained you, personally. For a multitude of months, and sometimes I still do. I know you can do better Maeria. I know you can be the best of the best. But, you're not going to get there without a little discipline. And, Maeria, honey. I'm sorry, alright?" 

He spoke fast. His words flooded my head like a typhoon, and, sorry? He apologized to me? I could've believed it felt sincere, what was he apologizing for? He was sorry-

 

"AGH! F-Fuck, stop!" I cried out those words two seconds later, as I could feel the whip of the chain he held on my back. I could hear him gently shushing me, as I was trembling.

 

Each hit I could feel a new wound break open, each hit I could feel blood drip down my back. I doubled over on my knees more, screaming in agony. My back being torn up in shards and blood, more chain marks being left, each whip mark causing a guttural scream to emit from my throat. I had begged, begged for what seemed to be hours for him to stop, and he didn't. I actually heard him laugh. He was laughing at my suffering, my pain that he was causing me. I could feel tears running down my cheeks and soaking my mask as I gasped in torment. It felt like fire- Pure fire lacing my back, as if someone poured gasoline on it and then tossed a match onto me, or poured hot lava on it and pushed a branding iron into my back.

 

My body became heavy, and each beating made me cry and double forward more. My hearing became muffled, and my mind was only filled with sounds of the chain clinging against itself and hitting with strong a strong thump! against my back, along with my heart racing and pounding heavily in my ears. My head was throbbing, and honestly so was my back. The amount of feelings and emotions I had made me struggle to breath or speak, because each word was replaced with a strained cry and sharp inhales that sounded and felt like they screeched against my chest. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.

 

Breather. 

Whip!

 

Breather. 

 

Whip!

 

Time was passing slow, and with each whip I got quieter. Quieter, and quieter. Until my throat was so hoarse I couldn't utter anymore words, and it was just painful breathing. He had enough when I finally stopped crying, as I heard the chain get dragged and placed somewhere, as then a towel was draped over my back.

 

He rubbed my head gently, messing up my hair. I removed the towel and slipped the back of my shirt down once more, hissing in pain. My blood was definitely leaking and seeping into my shirt. He knelt down in front of me as well, eye to eye level. Holding my chin again as I looked up at him, my boxy face and triangular eye most likely swollen and covered in spit and tears. My masked was soaked with my saliva from screaming so much, and my tears wouldn't stop flowing. He smiled at me, as he stood up. Not saying a word and going to exit the room. Looking back momentarily. 

 

"Maeria. I have to keep you in line, alright? I know you can do better." 

 

Do better. That's all I remembered from his words as he exited. I vividly remember collapsing to the side, gasping and writhing in pain. I couldn't get up, knowing I needed to go over to the medics so they could patch me up. But I didn't. I physically could not bring myself to move from the cold floor I rested on. 

 

As I sniffled I remember falling asleep, seeing the darkness in the window get a little darker as I accepted the cold I was going to sleep on. I didn't mind it, it was comforting at the time. I found everything I could get comforting, I wasn't picky. Do better. Do better and I could get up and lay in my wonderful bed in the barracks. Do better and I could talk to Cynfael without fear of being beaten again.

 

Do better. That's all I had to do. I had to choose that path. 

 

Do better.

Chapter 3: Sensations

Notes:

TW: Self Harm and stuff. The quickness of how Maeria moves on from it is essential to the story, I promise it wasn't just tossed in

Wrists.

 

I could feel the skin on my wrists weaken every day. It had been a couple more months now, around when Christmas would usually roll. During the months we had scrounged around what we believed to be almost every inch of the computer, and every mission we had failed to find the Program's Camp. The Firewall tried to push us out and we barely fought back, but Cynfael wasn't looking for us to kill more than we already had. Sure, he was satisfied with it. The amount of death that all of us had caused had Cynfael ecstatic with our work, but it also had me being beaten more. As a commander of my battalion, failure wasn't an option, and that's what I was doing every mission. 

 

This mission was different though. I saw a child of a Program couple, and they were outside. Memory Meadows was untouched, it still held the life and the color this place once had. The green trees, the green, glowing neon trees were still bright and beautiful, as the couple slowly traversed through it. The mother and father were chuckling softly as they carried their little offspring between them, holding their hand as they giggled and yelped while jumping around. The sight was beautiful, bittersweet. I could feel my chest- my chest...have a tight feeling. What was this feeling? I had never felt such a feeling before. I only had my core in my head, and I had to protect that with my life. So why did my chest, where I didn't have anything inside of me, hurt?

 

I shook my head. I had to ignore that feeling, but I couldn't help but feel an obligation. My body was pushing me heavily toward this family, not to kill them. But to save them. They had to be apart of the program resistance, or at least the base was nearby if they were alive. As I walked they looked back, and the mother let out a shriek as the family started running, the father scooping up the small child in his arms before running. I don't know what came over me, but I chased them as well. Trying to catch up to them, to warn them maybe? I still don't know. But as I chased them, I could hear my men start to run, and suddenly my heavy footsteps didn't sound like my own. It sounded like...Horses? Yes, horses, galloping along with my footsteps as they spotted them. I could hear my general, leading the other battalion, screaming for them to scan the area immediately. 

 

I could feel my chest tightening more as I ran, when suddenly I saw them. The Virus' working with us, rounding the side of the building, holding-

 

Mine. A mine. To traumatize the child the same way I had been.

 

I had fallen behind now, but I could feel my body forcing me to push forward. The workouts Cynfael had put me through I was now thankful for as I pushed forward, taking deep breaths, and as I caught up I could see a bright explosion hit. When I suddenly heard the mother scream, the words My baby, my baby! ringing through my head, and the father- now missing the entire lower half of his face pick her up and run, I could feel time slow. I saw the child, and they were laying on the ground. I ran to them as I scooped them up in my arms, sitting on my knees. My eye wide in disbelief as I held them in my arms. Their face was gone, my arms and armor were becoming covered in blood and liquid as I stared. My hands trembled as I held the child, my hearing was muffled. I was stuck that I couldn't even notice the Virus' that had thrown the mine running away, or the fact that Cynfael had left his castle and arrived as soon as it was reported that they had a lead. 

 

I could feel a hand on my head, tangling itself in my hair, my head being yanked and cocked to look at the purple colored ROM's disappointed expression. I always found it ironic, ROM's were supposed to be green, but this one who took over the pink and blue factions had become purple. That wasn't the point though, and I was snapped out of my thought's. The little Program's body that I had been holding got scooped up by my general out my arms and tossed away, like some destroyed doll my parents thought I had grown out of. Cynfael pulled me up from my knees, holding my face in his hands. The battalions had started to fall out and return back, as if they knew I was in for a hell of a beating.

 

"Maeria...we need to talk. Now." He had whispered to me, as I nodded slowly. I didn't even notice I was tearing up, or that my mask was laced in my tears either. I felt the soggy fabric rub against my face as he dragged me along with him back to the castle. He had a strong grip on my hand, and I didn't bother to fight it. I was like a lost puppy as he dragged me, back to the same room I had been beaten so many times in. The same position, knocked to my knees, chest and back plates off, shirt pulled up in the back. I quickly wiped my tears on my shoulder, as Cynfael came up to me and scooped my chin up in his hand again, gripping so harshly I'm sure I had bright glowing blue bruises on my face. 

 

"Do you regret your actions out there today? Really, I-I just find it completely unfathomable, you, Maeria. Y-You, out of all people! Trying to betray me, s-save a God Damned Program?! Really Maeria?! You were doing so well too, you were being such a good girl! I c-can't, aha- I can't fathom what you just did!" He yelled at me, as he suddenly hit me with that Godforsaken chain again. I bit my tongue though, keeping myself silent, and I noticed he didn't go on speaking. But, instead, he went on and hit me with a lot more force than he had before. I didn't usher a sound again, and each time, I could see his face contort, progressively getting more angry each time I failed to release a sound of pain. 

 

"...I apologize, my Lord." I said clearly, as he hit me again and I proceeded to silence myself once more. I felt the beatings on my back once more; the glowing blue of my blood, (or was it just liquid?) running down my back. It had started to get easier to ignore, though it would be easier if Prince Cynfael would let me keep my armor on. Another strike across my back makes me usher a minuscule gripe in pain, as I felt more of the liquid run down. It wasn’t the first time he chose to reopen the wounds due to me stepping out of line, yet this time it felt much more angry. Much more emotional with each hit of his frustration. Frustration quickly turned into what I could only assume to be insanity, and I could hear his laughter as he continued with the hits. 

 

We’d been at this for at least 40 minutes before he finally got a sound out of me, and it was because he hit me on my spine, making an inhale that squealed out into a whine. He finally tossed the chain aside, stomping over to me. Standing behind me as he pulled up my face to look at him, my eye half-lidded from exhaustion. He got extremely close, to the point his lips brushed mine, which made me flick my head away much more violently than I thought. He was disgusting, I couldn't get over the age gap. I knew he had no liking to me, he'd never touch me. He just enjoyed the way I squirmed every time he made me uncomfortable. With another sick chuckle his expression went from unhinged to stone cold, as he let go of me and started to walk out.

 

“You quit being stubborn, huh? You know, if you would’ve just cried sooner, this would’ve all been over much faster.” The words echo through my head as I silently stay put. I can hear the sound of the metallic chain wrapping, being put away. As I gently pulled the back piece of my shirt down over my once again beaten and bruised back. With permission to stand I put my armor back on, biting my tongue as I felt the open wounds rubbing against my back.

“Quit stepping out of line. I took you in with kindness. I offer you a job, I give you a place to sleep and live, and you repay me by helping the same people I’ve ordered you to kill? It’s going to end now.” With the words flooding my senses I can hear the clicking of shoes, as a sudden slam of a door echoed throughout the room. I look toward my sword against the wall, reaching for it. Sheathing it as I silently stand still, wiping my eyes. Pulling the same mask up, to hide what original deformities he had done to my face. I am a knight, and I serve not him. But to keep my life. As I stood and returned to the barracks, I noticed the pain in my back was slightly less. It was getting easier to ignore the pain from the whipping.

 

As I returned to the barracks I had wrapped bandages along my torso and back, having already cleaned my wounds. As I sat on my bed in the silence of the barracks I noticed my sword, sitting there. The tip pointed at it usually had been. I looked back down at my wrist, already weakened from previous escapades with the same tip of the sword. I reached over, feeling the blade on the tip of my finger, as I once again presented my wrist to the blade tip. I won't get into what I did further, as it brings up feelings I still struggle with today, but in the end my wrist was in ruins once more. My original wounds were reopened as my newer ones burned with what I still describe as misery filled pleasure against my skin. My head was woozy after, with the amount of pain I had inflicted upon myself today and blood loss, I was sure that I was on the verge of passing out. I quickly bandaged myself once again, reattaching my armor to my body as I laid down in my bed, my sword stained with the bright blue color of my body. 

 

I remember falling asleep for a couple of hours after that. I had woken up in the middle of the night after for my nightshift, cleaning my sword off as I sheathed it and returned to the surface. I leaned against the wall of the Processor Palace outside, simply patrolling around. Nothing happened at night, and I was thankful for that. Seeing the "stars" up in the computer sky was beautiful, and I always thought that the stars were something other than the sparks or lines of code that ran through. I liked to believe when I was younger that the stars were ports, ones very far away that I could escape through. Travel through them to another computer far away from this one, it was a long shot. But still a possibility up there. As I stared up at the darkened sky, I could see as one of the stars looked more gold-ish than usual. Wait. 

That wasn't a star, it was...a person? Why were they so golden?

I was taken aback by what seemed to be an anthro, like me, standing. They had wings that laced their back, which were glowing the same golden hue as the rest of their body. He had looked around very quickly, before he laid eyes upon me. I could see now that he was a form of software, his face had what looked to be a very large maroon cross that laced his features. He was also holding a bow and arrow, when suddenly it disappeared and he had started running the other direction. I hadn't learned my lesson at the time, and I chased after him. But he really didn't get far, mostly...to an area we were alone at. The...thing grabbed me, yanking me away behind some rubble and crouching down, dragging me with him. He placed a finger over my lips, and softly shushed me. Staring at me- at least...I assumed he was. The cross didn't really show his eyes. I wasn't very trustworthy of him, but he seemed extremely kind from what I was seeing. 

 

"Where is the processor?" 

He had asked me, tilting his head curiously. His voice had a tinge of an echo, like a robot, and it was slightly shrill along with a slight gruff when he spoke. As resonant as it sounded, it seemed he didn't want any trouble. But I was heavily confused. There's never been, at least that I know of, a sole processor running in the computer. I know of the Processor Priests or Processor Followers, but no processor itself. 

"Pardon? There's...there's none here. What do you mean processor?" 

"Where is the Processor? I'm a unit to help the processor. Where is it?" 

I was completely lost at this point, and shook my head. When I did that, I noticed he has started to flutter his wings a bit, and not only that, but he had three pairs! Three! He had a small pair on the sides of his head, hidden within his hair, and then one that came out of I'd like to say the back of his thighs? The main pair of wings from his back were large and wrapped around him, so I really couldn't tell where the leg ones came out of. His wings at the tips weren't tipped as well, but they had what looked to be small paws. Not to mention, he was very strong, and he was built to be a bit fluffy. I'd hate to say it, but looking back on it I'd say he was (and still is) built like a Himbo. 

 

His wings continued to flutter now, as they seemed to get larger. He took a deep breath and his wings folded in, and he left himself with just his back wings. He stood, and with a gloved hand he gingerly touched my shoulder, pulling me up with his other hand. 

"Be not afraid. I only wish to help. It appears this computer as well does not contain a processor...I can provide assistance until I find a port. I have not found one after traversing." The man said, and he spoke quickly and seriously. He didn't really trump my height in anthro, since I was 19 feet tall. I would say he was around 15 feet, as he reached my head but he had to look up at me to speak to me. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that motherboard heart Cynfael gave me a while ago, but that didn't matter. 

 

"Okay, you haven't told me your name. Throughout...ANY. Of this. You pulled me aside, and for what?" I had asked, and I remember how stressed I was when asking. He was just...weird. In my opinion at the time. 

 

"Kindness. My apologies for not introducing myself earlier." He said, waving a bit. Before looking at the palace, then back to me. He looked stumped, and I knew why. Processor Palace, and a Malware guarding it wasn't exactly the most normal thing. I just kind of shrugged and rested my hand in the neck piece of my armor.

 

"Motherboard is dead, ROM is running the palace, and everyone else for that matter." I motioned to the guards standing at the gate after that, both Malware and Virus together. Kindness looked in the direction, his wings flapping slightly, as if he was curious. There was a heavy aura from him in the air, but I couldn't tell what he was feeling. I assumed it to be curiosity. 

 

"A...ROM? Taking over...Virus and Malware encampments? Forcing work upon them all, and...running a computer with a dead Motherboard?" He said, and his voice was awestruck. He was studying the area around, completely enveloped with my world. "How...Intriguing..." He said, as he looked back at the palace. He then looked at me once more, noticing the bandages on my head from my childhood, and the mask that covered my face. He reached up, his hands caressing my cheek. I quickly snatched his hand away, holding his wrist in my hand. As his wings suddenly popped out, and spread. I was enveloped with a burning sensation in my hand, as I yelped and snatched it away. He seemed to calm down when I let go, his wings returning to their resting states.

 

"Do not touch me." He said, and admittedly, I had crossed my arms like a child. 

"Well fuck, don't touch me you- you himbo!"

"What is a...Himbo?" 

"Never mind."

 

Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that, but it was a funny encounter. Moving on, I had started to return back to the castle, but Kindness followed. The rest had gone inside to rest, as it was very early morning and they needed at least a couple of hours. I leaned back against the palace, ad Kindness had stood in front of it. Staring up at it. His body language seemed to be curious, and more awestruck than anything. I just happened to shrug and pay no mind, he seemed stuck in his own universe this whole time that I didn't bother to question it. After some time he came, standing next to me. Starting to chat more. 

 

"This palace...how did he overtake it??" 

 

At the time 17 year old me had no recollection on what went down, so I just shrugged. 

 

"You just...Blindly follow?" He said at first, before I nodded. He just turned away, when every pair of wings came out again. Fluffing violently, in a form of irritation. He looked at me with one last nod before his wings spread out, and turned towards the floor, flicking in a heavy motion as he flew up and away. I would mistake him for an angel with the way he had flown, even with that little halo he had around his head. He didn't go far, but he scanned the palace, his golden hue shining among the dark hue of the area. It was gorgeous honestly, and seeing him float so high up had me comparing him to a shooting star. I had never seen one here before, I always though they were myths. But the golden shine had me believing that maybe I would see one, or I already was. Kindness was extraterrestrial...I just couldn't understand it.

 

I walked back through the palace gates, returning inside. I saw Kindness standing at the gates as I walked in, and he gave me a soft wave before he left too. I had an assumption he would return once again, if not anytime soon. I returned to my bed in the barracks, being careful not to awaken anyone as I removed my armor and laid down, staring up at the ceiling. Kindness...The gold wouldn't leave my mind, he had been the most color I had ever seen since I was a child. I was giddy, I had seen color again. I felt life again, I felt that beat in my chest-

 

That...beat. In my chest. What was that? My chest was tight again, and it was vibrating like war drums. That beating. I must've been dying, there's no reason for that beating to be there. I'd have to go to the medical bay in the morning to get that checked out, along with my head to make sure that my core was still working properly. I didn't have a heart. 

 

I laid asleep, feeling the beating in my chest as I closed my eyes and went to sleep. I slipped into a dream, a dream about a golden star, and that star was Kindness. Kindness covered in blood? I don't know, there was a liquid dripping off his arrows and clothing. I ran toward him, and he looked back before my dream went black. 

 

The sensations I had been feeling all day were ridiculous, and I couldn't even escape them in my dreams. 

Notes:

Thank you for reading Ch: 3 Of "Swallow the Thorns!" I really appreciate everyone who's been reading along. The title might get changed in the future due to the edgy nature of it right now, but for now until I get a better idea or suggestion it's staying the same.

Thank you to Clemont, for letting me insert her character, Kindness, into the story! There are many more chapters involving him to come along, along with many other OC's people have! This is just the beginning, thank you for reading :)

Notes:

Please leave any suggestions :)
Hope you enjoyed the first chapter