They Look Better on Me

by ForbiddenApples

Summary:

"Anything else you wanna say before I deliver on that? Perhaps beg me to show you mercy?" He asked, looking absolutely insane.

"Harder!" I said as loud and clear as the compression on my neck would allow. Zim's expression dropped, eyes darting back and forth between mine.

"What?" He asked, perplexed by my request. With desperation, I reached out and grabbed him by his uniform, pulling him in closer to me.

"Choke me harder!" I pleaded roughly.

○Rating will change as things become more explicit.

○I decided to drop the alt title since this is becoming a full fic. I'll keep it as the title of chapter one. I'm terrible at remembering to name my chapters so feel free to leave suggestions on my unnamed ones!

Notes:

I really didn't expect to write this at all. Until a few weeks ago I didn't even know I still shipped zadr and here I am writing it. This was just supposed to be about Dib stealing Zim's boots to be an asshole, but I accidentally mixed it with my choking fantasy I keep thinking about. This is the result.

Edit: I made a few changes to this chapter since I extended it. The most significant change was thanks to a comment from CherryMelon_Alien on Irken clothing technology. Thank you so much for the awesome idea! Not much outside of that changed, mostly just small things, rewording stuff. I also changed the word tunic to uniform because I just don't like that word. I don't know why.

Chapter 1: All Choked Up

It didn't matter how many years had passed since he accepted his abandonment and stopped his take over, Zim was still my obsession. Observing the alien over the years, my feelings shifted. Before, I used to loathe the very thought of the "mighty" Irkin warrior, but once I was positive Zim wasn't furthering attempts to destroy the planet, I began to calm down around him. That allowed my hatred to quell but I still took just as much pleasure in pissing him off just as much as Zim did in matching my attitude.

Fighting was really all we knew how to do. Working together hadn't served us in the past so we never tried again. Why would we if we weren't forced to? We still got into physical fights, but our behavior toward each other had mostly grown to childish pranks and insults. It was nice not being cut or bruised as often but it was never the same as the rush I'd get trying to thwart any of his asinine plans, especially when I succeeded. Still, I delighted in teasing and tormenting him.

Always looking for new ways to get under his skin, I saw a perfect opportunity. I just so happened to be near Zim's house for no particular reason, observing from behind a tree as he walked up the pathway to his door, dragging GIR on a leash behind him, the robot gleefully singing off tune as he was pulled, unperturbed. Once at their door, a very annoyed Zim began to tell his minion off, unaware of my nearby presence.

"That's the last time I tolerate your incessant need to roll in every mud puddle you see. DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" He yelled, the robot screaming in protest for a few moments before stopping abruptly to ask for a pizza. Zim just sighed and agreed.

"Fine, GIR, but don't try to feed any to the TV this time."

"But they looked huuuuungry!"

Sighing once again, Zim just gave up. "Oh, look how muddy my boots got because of your shenanigans!" He scolded but seemed too exasperated to be any angrier. Stripping off his boots without using his hands, Zim muttered what I guessed were curses as he entered his house, pulling his servant in tow who was singing about his love for pizza. Zim's boots were just sitting there on his front porch, unattended. That was my opportunity.

Do it now.

Without further thought, I left my hiding spot and made my way swiftly up the pathway and to the porch with no interruption. Without my trying to expose him and everyone else being too stupid to realize he's not human, Zim didn't bother with his security measures anymore.

Picking up the boots, I turned and made my way back to my spot just as swiftly. I had no guarantee Zim would check on his shoes, but I waited maybe twenty minutes for him to notice they were gone. In that time I got bored staring at his door, waiting for him, and took a closer look at the shoes I held. Aside from the drying mud on the bottom, they really weren't that dirty. Hitting them against the tree knocked off a good amount.

These are really nice, I never noticed that before... How would they look on me?

That was all the motivation I needed to try them on. I unzipped and kicked out of my own mid calf boots before getting into Zim's. They went above the aliens' knees so I could only imagine how short they'd be on me. To my amazement, they did fit, as if they were made for me. I slid them on, pulling the material I couldn't identify up and over my knees a few inches.

Wait, they fit? Weird. They didn't seem this long when I was holding them. And Zim and I aren't the same size…

I pondered for a moment or two, but decided to pin that thought for later. I still had observing to do.

To my disappointment, neither my enemy nor his servant came outside again. I decided to give up on waiting to see the aliens' reaction to the missing shoes. It was getting pretty dark anyway, I hadn't even noticed the street lights came on.

As I walked away- Zim's shoes making a pleasant sound on the pavement with my own dangling from my fingers as I carried them by the loops in the lace’s knots- I pictured how pissed Zim would be when he finally noticed they were gone and it brought a smile to my face. I didn't have to wonder for long, hearing Zim scream from several houses down.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE MY BOOTS?!"

I laughed loudly and quickly stopped, hearing how much it carried, but it was too late.

"DIB-THING?!" The Irkin yelled. "DIB!" He sounded really mad.

Rather than run away, I walked quickly back in his direction, excitement rising as I drew nearer, almost running to him. I saw the Irkin approaching, the spider-like legs moving faster than I could. He and I stopped only a few feet from each other, Zim standing taller than me on his metal appendages; it was the only way he could still feel superior to me.

"Y-you're wearing them! Why did you take them?!" He yelled at me. He was out of his wig but hadnt removed his lenses yet and, of course, wasn't wearing any shoes. His feet were odd, and not a part of him I usually saw, especially up close.

"You left them unattended." Was my simple answer.

"On my porch!" He continued to yell incredulously. He was a lot more mad than I thought he'd be but I couldn't help myself. I just kept poking at him

"Relax, 'all mighty invader'," I taunted. "I'll give them back. You know, maybe." I shrugged.

"Why do you still pick on me? I haven't tried to do ANYTHING sinister for YEARS!" The Irkin screamed, and for a moment, he looked so tired.

"I dunno, why do you still pick on me?" I asked in return.

"Name one time I have... RECENTLY!"

"Uh, okay. There was yesterday when tripped me, two days before that you-"

"I SAID NAME ONE!" He interrupted.

"I'M JUST GETTING STARTED!” I screamed back at him. “You blew pepper in my face! Last week you sent GIR to my house to fucking glitter bomb me- I'm still getting glitter out of my hair, thank you- and a few days later you threw a shoe at me!"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!"

"It was YOURS!"

"Is that why you did this?! Because of the shoe thing?!”

"I don't know, I'm impulsive!"

"SO AM I!"

We stopped screaming momentarily and just simmered as we looked at each other, unblinking.

"They look better on me anyway, spaceboy!" Acting on the aforementioned impulsiveness, I kicked at one of Zim's mechanical legs, causing him to lose balance and stumble, giving me time to run away, laughing.

This is the most fun I've had in a minute! How long has it been since we chased each other?

I didn't get very far before I heard the familiar, aggressive clicking of Zim's PAK legs coming after me at an alarming rate. The rush of adrenaline pushed me harder but I couldn't escape him. I was hit hard in the back, propelling me forward. I barely had time to drop my boots and lift my arms over my face to lessen the damage I'd take. Landing with a hard thud, I groaned, not only from pain but knowing that my jacket was more than likely affected by the fall.

Ah, fuck, this is my favorite one!

I didn't have long to mourn before those damn legs were flipping me over on my back. With no time to react, I lay defenseless as another leg shot from Zim's PAK and went for my throat. I half expected a metal spike to be driven through but I was surprised to feel something wrap around my neck instead. The metal tightened and my eyes widened at the sudden feeling. I kicked my legs in a failed attempt to make him release his hold but he pulled back out of my range until he was sure I'd stop, watching me writhe.

"Not so confident now, are you Dib-filth!" He said as he moved in toward me, my hands grasping desperately at the leg pinning me down.

In all the times Zim and I had fought, all the times we tried to foil the others plans, one up each other or just piss each other off, neither of us ever choked the other. Maybe a sort of choke hold in the arm, but it was never like this. He wasn't cutting off my air but he was squeezing enough that my breath was a little strained.

"I like the fear in your eyes, Dib-thing." Zim said, bringing himself even closer to me; even with his lenses I could see the crazy gleam in his eyes. I must've caught him in an extra bad mood today.

"Nothing to say? Has Zim finally found a way to shut you up?" The Irkin asked tauntingly, the metallic grip on my neck compressing.

At first the hold around my neck scared me, thinking Zim would finally snap and end me right there... but the longer he made me struggle, pinned against the asphalt, the more I realized... I was also having a completely unintended and unexpected reaction.

"Fuck... Zim," I struggled saying but a tight warning grip stopped me from speaking further, my eyes opening even wider at the sudden increase of pressure. He let off some, letting me breathe a little again.

"You stay quiet!" He cautioned angrily. "I could stop all this for good right here, Dib, and you know it! I can see it in your eyes, how scared you are." He said with a pleased and deranged smile.

Scared?

Fear, while it still lingered, was very minimal, it's place being steadily taken over by arousal. Little shocks of it ran through me, shooting directly into my nipples.

It's too much... and not enough...

"It's time you finally learned who's the superior being you STINKING human! I'm so SICK of your stupid, smug face." He continued on. "You look much better beneath Zim."

Oh, fuck... I can't...

The alien sat down on the middle of my chest, legs on either side of me.

"This should've always been your place, you inferior human! I'm in no mood for your shit today, so shut up or I'll make you regret it, I WILL destroy you!"

Fuck!

Even the way he threatened me was turning me on. Those shocks running through me were becoming stronger, still shooting to my nipples and... even lower. If Zim were sitting further down he'd feel how much I liked this.

By that point I had stopped struggling, my hands were barely grasping the at the decive that awoken such lust in me.

"Maybe I should just punish you right here in the open until you're bruised, broken and too weak to stand." The invader continued, no idea how his words were being taken or the effect they were having on me. I knew he didn't mean it that way, but… "Anything else you wanna say before I deliver on that? Perhaps beg me to show you mercy?" He asked, looking absolutely insane.

"Harder!" I said as loud and clear as the compression on my neck would allow. Zim's expression dropped, eyes darting back and forth between mine.

"What?" He asked, perplexed by my request.

With desperation, I reached out and grabbed him by his uniform, pulling him in closer to me.

"Choke me harder!" I pleaded roughly.

"You... like this?" He asked with even further bafflement.

"Yes!" I screamed as loud as I could manage, feeling my eyes cross as they rolled back; my hips bucked up in a desperate attempt to feel something, anything. That's when the pressure around my neck released and I gasped loudly, the sudden allowance of oxygen a rush to my system and everything felt hightened. I lay there for a few moments, panting, almost… moaning. When I finally regained a bit of my composure, I sat up to see Zim staring at me in shock and confusion. Realizing that he could see all of me, I scooted one of my legs up to hide what was too late to conceal. It was obvious how much I loved what he just did to me.

"What... just, what the FUCK WAS THAT?!" He screamed. "What's wrong with you? Are you broken?!"

Not knowing what to say, I stayed in my position just staring back at my rival, my ryes wide and face red hot.

"Nevermind, just, keep the boots! Zim has more at home." He said, turning from me and running away from the whole situation, his PAK legs carrying him so quickly, he was out of sight within moments.

I sat there, in the middle of the road, still very horny but with a growing feeling of shame and embarrassment that would eventually drown that out.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Chapter 2

Summary:

Zim forces Dib to answer questions about their last encounter, further arousing an ever increasingly embarrassed Dib.

Notes:

WELP! I did it. I finally extended this story beyond a one shot. This means I now have three multi chapter Invader Zim fics going at the same time. I have no definite end in mind for this but I'm gonna keep going till it feels complete. I also altered chapter 1 a bit, see it's notes for more detail.

To say that things were a little awkward after that was a gross understatement. They were super fucking awkward and uncomfortable. Until then, I was instigating with my enemy, but after our last encounter, my new mission was avoiding him at all costs.

The day after that happened, I didn't go to skool. That was the most embarrassing thing I'd ever done, and coming from me, that was really saying something. It's not like I'd never been hard in front of someone before, I couldn't always help it. Only those times, I was lucky to be unnoticed, was concealed enough or I'd make my way somewhere else. It was never caused by someone touching me before, not that or any way, and never because of Zim.

Knowing I couldn't hide out at home forever, I forced myself to attend the day after; I was grateful to see it was Zim's turn to be absent. I let my guard down, so I was caught by surprise when I saw him in the hallway the day after. I stopped in my tracks, my eyes meeting the Irken’s from several feet away. I felt mortified all over again, the memory of that night still fresh in my head.

“Harder!”

“What?”

“Choke me harder!”

Part of me wished he had gone harder, so I'd be dead and not have to address my reaction. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky.

“Dib?” Zim called out to me in question. He probably expected me to not be there, kind of like I'd been expecting about him. I wasn't about to face him, so I turned on my heel and booked it.

“Dib-worm!” He called out again, his voice fading as I retreated quickly as possible without running. Perks of long legs.

How can he even stand to look at me now, let alone talk to me? I don't even wanna be around me right now, and I really don't wanna have any contact with Zim. It's stupid. This whole thing is so stupid. I don't even understand why it happened in the first place. I didn't know I liked that… and to find out with him?! Fuck, just kill me now!

It was too much, the embarrassment and shame made me want to hide out in my house again where I could keep mentally torturing myself in private. I knew, however, that I couldn't let him win that easily. I had to leave my house, I had to go out and do things. The most important had always been protecting the Earth from Zim.

You know he doesn't do that anymore, not like he used to. His last attempt was years ago and it wasn't even Earth, it was one grocery store. And he did it poorly!

Despite the Irken’s attempts for world domination having decreased to nothing, I knew what he was like when he tried, which was enough reason to keep him under surveillance. Especially in the beginning, he was often thwarted by his own ignorance of my planet. It had been years since he came to Earth and no matter how much he learned, I was often able to use his ignorance against him.

If you stopped bothering him, he'd probably stop, too.

That thought hurt me in a way I didn't understand, and didn't have time to process. It was an old thought, one I suppressed that was echoing in me again.

Thinking I was out of his range, I was surprised again to turn a corner in the halls and see him standing there, waiting for me.

“Dib-human, Zim needs to talk to you.” It was eery. Despite his obvious annoyance, he was weirdly patient with me. I didn't like that.

If that was the way it was going to be, I'd hide again. I'd run home and hide until I stopped feeling so ashamed. So I'd pretty much die there.

Turning away from him again, I retreated faster than before. I headed out of the building entirely, down the steps, and away from my enemy. Zim, however, was persistent.

“DIB-JERK, YOU STOP RIGHT NOW!” The alien yelled, his patience gone.

“NO!” I yelled back, too stubborn to face him.

He began to chase me. Not the fucking around kind of chasing where he'd start with his flesh and bone legs, and eventually switch to his metal ones. That time he took to his PAK legs immediately. That's when I ran, cutting through the grass in an attempt to lose him. To my shame, I tripped as I tried to outrun Zim, falling to the lawn. I was in my own damn shoes and still fell.

What am I? Every woman in a horror movie ever? That's twice now!

I didn't have time to hate myself for it before I was easily flipped over once again. My right arm immediately shot up over my face to protect my neck, expecting the cold metal grip that aroused such shame in me.

“Foolish boy!” The alien was almost seething. Instead of a metal clasp, gloved fingers gripped my hair hard, pulling and twisting to make me submit.

“AH!” I yelled, my hands moving to my head to try to pry Zim's fingers away. He just shook my head in warning. “Zi-”

“Shut up, stupid human!” He silenced me before I could really begin. “I'm tired of you evading me. Now Zim is going to ask you questions and you're going to answer, understand?” His fingers tightened their grip, seeking an answer.

Oh, no,

“Zim, please,” I was begging, aware of how pathetic that was, but I couldn't do it. The way he was pulling my hair, it felt so…

“Normally, I'd like you begging, but not right now. I'm not gonna let your stupid big head go until you answer me.”

It was getting dangerous. Zim tugging my hair was having a certain effect on me again. I could feel the sparks run from where he held my hair, down my neck, back, and… other places. The way he talked to me only added more to the fire.

“Fuck,” I couldn’t believe how much he was turning me on again. Well, what he was doing was turning me on, at least. What was wrong with me?

Why is this happening? I don't understand. I'm pretty sure he's pulled my hair before… right? I can't remember. If he ever did, it didn't feel like this.

“Answer me!” Zim commanded, giving my hair a good tug and eliciting a sound I hadn't heard myself make before. It was getting dangerous. If I didn't do something soon, it was going to happen again.

My left hand shot to my mouth, covering my cry as if that would shove the embarrassing noise back inside. Despite my state, I could sense Zim was caught off guard by my reaction. That was my chance! Using that opportunity, I swiftly grabbed my enemy by his uniform, my other hand grabbing the arm that held me in place. Without hesitation, I pulled him as hard as I could, flipping the Irken over on his back. That knocked the wind out of him and I was able to gain control. I was on him in a flash, my legs on either side of him, pinning the invader to the ground. Both my hands had the other's arms fixed to the ground as well, holding him by his slender wrists.

One thing I had learned during our many fights was how his PAK reacted to being hit. It seemed impossible to break the damn thing, but a good blow in just the right way would stun it for a few moments. It was long enough to gain the upper hand while his system recalibrated.

I was panting, not from the effort of subduing my nemesis, but from how aroused the things he did made me. I needed to separate before it happened again, before my body gave me away. For the moment, the control was mine once more, I was literally on top.

“Stupid WORM!” The green male yelled in frustration. “Why are you fighting this so hard?” That was a fair question, but I still didn't want to answer.

“You wouldn't understand!” I answered.

“I'm trying to!”

I didn't know what to say, I just sat there, on my enemy's chest, pinning him to the ground to avoid talking to him. Not talking was so much easier when our proximity wasn't so close.

“You know what I think?” Zim asked, calm and casual, taking on that attitude that irritated me. “I think I finally found something that gives me control and that terrifies you.”

My face must've given me away because Zim broke into a grin.

“That's it, isn't it? I decided to leave your stupid, pathetic planet infected with humanity alone, and you couldn't stand that. Poor, bored Dib, can't let go of the past. How sad your life must be.”

Okay, ouch. He can't hurt you physically so he's going for the emotional pain. Don't let it effect you!

“Zim finally finds something you don't want known, so you hide and run away from the fight you wanted.” He smiled.

I didn't even know what to say, I just sat there trying not to think too deeply on his words.

“Guess what, Earth boy?” Zim's smile grew, as if he knew something I didn't. A small, mechanical whir sounded from beneath him. “Time’s up.”

In a flash, Zim's fully functioning PAK came to life. Long legs shot out of it, effectively shoving me off my nemesis. I was thrown on my back, the wind knocked out of me. There was no time to react before Zim was up and standing beside me. That damn clasp shot forth again, grabbing my throat. Zim took to his knee, fingers once again tightly gripping my hair.

Oh, fuck, not again! Not both at the same time!

“Alright, fine!” I screamed, desperate to make it all stop. “Fine, I'll talk, just please stop touching me!” I was begging again. How pathetic I was. Zim just huffed and let me go. I was too compromised to keep resisting him, and the Irken knew that. He stood, allowing me to do the same.

“Then explain yourself! Zim has other things to do, too, you know?... Speak!” He commanded, past impatient, and I was inclined to obey, if only to get through it faster.

“Okay!” I huffed and sighed. “I… I reacted the way that I did the other day… and today, I guess…” I sighed once more. “Because it felt… good.” I couldn't even look my enemy in the eyes, my own fixated on the ground. “And I didn't know I liked that. Any of that. That's why it was so…ugh, why I was so…” I shook my hands in front of me, curling them into fists.

This is dumb, I can't find the words.

“It felt good?” The confusion in the aliens voice was thick. “What do you mean?”

“You know… good.” I met his eyes, his puzzlement was evident. “Like… oh, fuck, Zim, this is so embarrassing, do I really have to say it?”

“Yes!” He was barely tolerating my inability to say it outright.

“Fine! I liked what was happening, it felt good, like, sexually good. I didn't know I liked kinky stuff like that. It's just embarrassi-”

“Sexually?” Zim questioned, his eyes darting around as if he was given some equation too complex for him. His face fell into a look of realization, quickly looking back at me. “Like… a mating thing? That's what that was?”

Then it was my turn to be confused. Didn't Zim know?

“Yeah, but… I mean, not everyone gets off on cho-”

“And is that why your body… did that?”

“Wh….what? You mean getting hard? Yeah… that's pretty basic.”

“YOU SHUT UP!” The Irken yelled, his confusion was only mounting as he questioned me, and I wasn't far behind.

“Wait… I thought you were just confused about the reasons I got hard, not over the erection itself.”

Then it began to fall in place.

“Zim… do you not know what sex is?”

“DON'T INSULT ME! Of course Zim knows you disgusting creatures mate!”

Lightbulb.

“Meaning… Irkens don't?”

“NO! Of course not, we have no use for something so vile!” His anger was growing but I could see something else blossoming in his irritation: embarrassment. Suddenly, I felt the power shift back to me a little.

“Vile? I don't think it's that bad.” I spoke with absolutely no sexual experience of my own, outside of myself. Zim just looked repulsed.

If his kind doesn't fuck, not even for procreation, then he had to learn about sex somewhere. Why would Irkens teach what they don't do? That would mean he learned on Earth. Isn't Earth the only planet he's attempted invading?

“Ugh! Just filthy! Why would you e-” Then Zim stopped abruptly and looked back at me. “Does that mean you want to do that vile thing with Zim?!”

“What?! No! No, look, I just liked some of the things you were doing, it has nothing to do with you.”

“Like when I choked you?” He questioned.

“Yes. Yes, like that. The hair pulling was also nice. Some of the things you said were good, too.”

“Zim has spoken to you no differently than he ever has. Or treated, for that matter. What changed?”

“I don't know. We haven't… had contact like that in a long time. It's just… different now.”

“So, let me see if I understand this. You relentlessly torment me, trying to push me into fighting like we used to despite my obvious reluctance, I finally do, and now you're going to avoid me forever because of some awakened sex thing?”

I didn't know what to say. There was nothing I could argue with, he was entirely right. Instead, I stood there in shame filled silence.

“You know what?... I don't have time for this. Well, no, that's a lie, I have endless time. I have no desire to do this.” He spoke with a sort of finality I didn't like before walking past me. I just looked on after him, hurting in a way I didn't understand.

Notes:

I'm pretty proud of myself for getting out chapter 2 of both this and my new fic, My Biggest Fan, on the same night. Like with anything, I cannot guarantee when new chapters will release for which fic. I just have to write what I have inspiration for. Anyway, please leave some love and comments. ♡

Chapter 3

Summary:

Dib realizes he's been in the wrong and needs to make a change. However, after a failed attempt at an apology, he continues to antagonize the Irken until he's desperate enough to be fully honest.

Notes:

Yay, chapter 3! My previous two were pretty short, so I hope this longer one makes up for that as well as the wait for it's release. For those of you reading Cry Little Sister, I'm sorry! I hit a block and this is coming to me more easily right now. Anyway, enjoy some more gay tension.

I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it! First, I embarrassed myself by getting hard while Zim choked me, then I almost lost myself again when he pulled my hair. The combination was almost too much, especially with how he was talking to me. I didn't know how long I could've concealed it; I was definitely getting hard again, only my desperation to not be mortified once more kept me from a full hard on like the first time. Both times I retreated back to my house, hiding in my room like a child, still mortified in spite of my efforts. Even gaining a little control didn't help my situation much, I was easily overpowered.

What the hell is happening to me? I didn't used to be so weak to him. We've fought countless times, beat the shit out of each other, and I've never reacted that way. Now I've done it twice? Something's wrong with me.

I lay in my bed, fully clothed, face down, mentally torturing myself for I didn't know how long. There was so much to berate myself for, but part of me attempted to make reason of things.

There was a long period where we didn't fight at all, I guess it was enough time for something to change. Not fighting wasn't for lack of trying, though. It was always me instigating first. He wasn't the same after he found out his mission was a joke…

At first I hadn't even believed it, I was sure it was part of some grand plan. As more and more months passed with no attempt on destroying Earth, I began to believe he really might be finished. I didn't like how much that hurt. It didn't make sense. I wanted him to stop, so why did it upset me when he did? Was I just unsatisfied because I didn't bring him down myself?

That's when he tried to take over the grocery store. Gaz assumed he was having a mental breakdown, and I dismissed her at the time. Seeing him doing something again, anything, filled me with excitement. I could fight him again! Laying in my bed, however, I reflected more on our past and didn't like how it made me feel.

I was so desperate to fight him, to continue with Zim as we always had… I hated it when he stopped. I didn't wanna quit what we had going together for years. Without Zim… what do I have?

I thought on that awhile. It wasn't like I didn't already have a job in a field that I loved, that I was good at, and at such a young age, too. I felt appreciated and valued doing it. I loved my work, it was my calling, but Zim was… different. Zim was the one thing not assigned to me that I pursued endlessly and passionately. I never obsessed on other self appointed missions the same way I did with him.

Since the grocery store incident, I haven't ever let him rest that long again… even when he clearly isn't in the mood to fight me. What evil has he really done since then? We're both just kind of assholes to each other without reason… and I push for it. Oh, fuck, am I the bad guy?

The reality that I might be in the wrong filled me with horrible dread. I felt a paradigm shift deep within me, dwarfing the pain I felt when Zim first stopped his invasion plans for Earth. If I was the aggressor without cause, that meant I was stalking, documenting, instigating, fighting and picking on someone who wasn't doing anything wrong. Not anymore.

Oh, fuck… does this mean I have to… change? And if I do, if I admit I'm wrong, I'll have to stop going after him. But I am wrong… I do have to stop. I can't continue if he's not a threat. But then… my life is less. But… why?

I didn't like where my thoughts were leading me, where they had already led me. That was all I could take, so after a long, defeated groan into the blankets, I shoved the bad thoughts away and got out of bed.

After my second altercation with Zim, after he'd left me to my shame once again, I went directly home. There was no way I felt like being at skool after that, I didn't even wanna be there on days I wasn't embarrassing myself in front of the Invader. Since I was home alone, had no work to do and no focus to do it anyway, I took to the living room. Getting swept away in my shows sounded like a good distraction. To my dismay, after several hours of trying, it didn't fucking work. I was still thinking about Zim… I was always thinking about Zim. I was going crazy! So I decided to pace around the living room instead, maybe that would do something.

This isn't good. We can't keep making ourselves crazy with this, it's too much. What's that thing Gaz said? “You don't have to fix it right now”.

That thought gave me no solace. Maybe it worked for small things, but this was too big. Even if it couldn't be fixed, I felt like I needed some plan of action in place, an excuse to see him again. I couldn't avoid him forever, and I had just established my life wasn't full if he was gone. So what could I do? During my pacing, I spotted those boots by the front door. Zim’s boots. The boots I'd stolen and brought home. Zim said to keep them, but they were the perfect excuse.

Without giving it any further thought than that, I picked up the boots from the floor, my keys from the hook and I left the house, locking the door behind me. I could've taken my car, but that would've made the journey shorter, and I wanted time to think of what to say. It was a gamble, it could be long enough for me to change my mind, but I was hoping to be there before that happened. My car would make it too easy to flee.

I was walking quickly, full of impulsive energy. With each step, I drew nearer to my destination, but no closer to what I would do once I got there. I didn't think I could just wing it.

What am I gonna say? And even if I can figure it out, what am I expecting Zim to do? Go back to trying to take over Earth so I can continue to protect it? So I can continue my unhealthy dynamic with him? And even if he did, can I really go on if it's just gonna make me hard when he touches me?

I felt my face heat with embarrassment at the memories. It was a fact I couldn't ignore. Touch with Zim had changed. I didn't understand when or why, but somewhere along the way, it had altered. There was no way to know if it was only with him or if I'd have that reaction with anyone else. Zim was the only person, or whatever, I had physical contact with. Sure, sometimes Gaz would get a little punchy, or I'd pick her up from behind and not let her down to annoy her, but it didn't make me feel those things. Which was good, because that would create a bigger problem. I'd been subject to some bullying, but it was mostly verbal. I think seeing the way I fought with Zim put others off from wanting to hit me, they all thought I was crazy and knew I'd hit back. My point being that I had limited contact with others.

It would be so much easier if it didn't turn me on. It's not like I want it to, it just does. But why does it have to be him? I couldn't have discovered that I like these things from anything else? Like, literally anything else! Maybe see it in porn or something and think “Gee, that looks fun.”. I guess there's something to be said for experience. Fuck my life.

I'd arrived at Zim's house, no more prepared that I was when I left. My heart beat faster as I went up the walkway, thankful that his gnomes and other security were still turned off. With my last few steps, I was at the door, just standing there not knowing what I was going to say.

Well, this could be a real shit show.

Without further hesitation, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I knocked on the door, feeling my heart quicken it's pace once more. I didn't have to wait long before it opened, but it wasn't Zim. Instead, GIR was standing there, dog costume on but with the hood down. He was all smiles until he recognized me.

“Aw, you're not the pizza man.” The little robot said sadly.

“No, sorry, no pizza.” I shook my head. “Is… Zim home?” I asked, trying to peek inside.

“Oh, yeah! He's in his secret lab, COME ON IN!” Zim's minion yelled, swinging the door open the rest of the way to invite me in.

Stepping inside, I took note of the things around me. It really hadn't changed much since I last saw it. Some things still made little sense, or felt a bit out of place, but for the most part it was kind of passable as a human home. If you didn't look too hard.

GIR suddenly slammed the door shut and snapped me out of my observations. Startled, I spun to face him as he began to walk around me.

“So, why you here with no pizza?” The little robot asked. I couldn't help but notice how much he looked like a child in a costume or pajamas or something. Acted like a child, too.

“I came to return these to Zim.” I lifted the boots in my hand.

“Ooooh, I'll take ‘em!” GIR reached for the shoes, taking a step towards me. I drew my arm in close to myself.

“No, uh, I'd rather give them to him myself. Could you go get him, please?” I asked.

“Ooooookaaaaaay!” GIR said, leaving me to myself as he skipped off to alert his master.

It felt awkward standing there by myself in the middle of the living room. There was a couch, but I was reluctant to sit on it.

Is that… cheese on the cushion? And is that… a burrito planted in the pot next to the one with the cactus with googly eyes on it?

The more I looked around, the more questions I had. Odd little things that I suspected GIR had something to do with. Like the slice of pizza on the ceiling. Just as I was staring at it wondering how the hell that happened, I heard a very angry alien stomping into the room.

“What the hell are you doing here, Dib-beast?!” Zim demanded. He wasn't wearing his disguise, which made sense because he was home.

“I, um, I came to return these.” I answered, lifting the boots in hand once again.

“The boots again? Zim already said you could keep those! Is that really why you came all the way over here?” The Irken asked, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes.

“Well, I, um,” I was stammering, I had no words. My whole walk there and I had nothing. I knew I couldn't wing it.

“What? What is it?” Zim was growing impatient.

“I just wanted to return these, damn! Do I need another reason?” There was no reason to be upset, but I was flustered.

“You say that like I lent you them. I don't care about the boots, you did. They were important enough for you to steal.” He reminded me.

“I didn't take them because I like them, although they are insanely comfortable.” I admitted. They were more comfortable than any shoes I'd ever owned.

“Oh, I know, you took them to piss me off. And of course they're comfortable, they're Irken, not your weird human shoes. They have flawless design and perfect fit.”

“Okay, but why do they fit me? I mean… I'm bigger than you, I was surprised I could wear them at all.” I knew that I was focusing on the wrong part of the conversation, but I couldn't help it.

“Do you not know what ‘perfect fit’ means? Irken uniforms fit to the wearer, Dib. Even your stupid, big, human feet.” The alien gestured to where I stood.

“Ooh, that's why they look smaller in my hands.” I noted, looking down at them. I knew there was something up with those shoes.

“Yes, Dib, congratulations, mystery solved, go home now.” He said, turning to leave me.

“Wait,” I reached out my free hand in his direction.

“What! What else?” The increasingly more annoyed creature asked as he turned to look at me.

“Look, I don't know, okay? I don't know! I just feel bad, and I wanted to return these.” I repeated, holding the boots out in front of myself again in offering.

“You feel bad… for stealing my boots? After everything you've put Zim through, that's what made you feel bad?” He asked incredulously.

“No, that- that's not what I meant.” Things weren't going well, I was fucking up.

“Then what do you mean, Dib-worm? And answer me quickly, I have no patience for you.” He said as if he previously had.

“I feel bad for everything!” I said loudly, growing progressively exasperated.

“Everything?” The other repeated for clarification.

“Well, okay, not everything, I don't regret thwarting any of your plans for destroying my planet, but…” I trailed off. I couldn't word as fast as I could emotion, and I could barely make sense of those.

“But?” Zim urged me to finish my thought.

“BUTT!” GIR, who'd been silent up till then, interjected.

“Quiet, GIR.” Zim commanded.

“But I feel bad for… pushing you. Forcing it when you obviously aren't taking over-”

“You don't have to remind Zim of his isolation. I've been abandoned, I don't need to be told again, certainly not by you.” He interrupted.

“I just meant that you're not a threat-”

“Oh, good, keep rubbing it in. So are you here to capture me, then? Finally send me off to some horrid human lab, or cut me open yourself? It'd be easy since I'm such a non-threat.” He interrupted again, mocking me.

“No! Look, I don't wanna do that-” I tried speaking once again, but he wasn't having it.

“Then you're wasting my time. There's a perfectly good wall I could be staring at instead.”

“Goddamn it, Zim!” I shouted, throwing down the stupid boots. “I'm trying to do something here and you're not even letting me talk!”

“I don't care what you have to say!” He shouted back.

“Fine! You know what? Fuck you! I was trying to do something nice, but I don't care now. Fuck it!” I yelled again, throwing my arms in the air.

“Nice?! You're never nice! Neither of us are! Stop being so confusing and get out of my house!” The Irken ordered me, pointing to the front door.

“Fine! I don't wanna be in your stupid house anyway! Everything is weird and makes no sense!” I said, gesturing all around the room at the odd shit. I turned to pick the shoes back up, but they weren't where I'd thrown them. Zim's minion had got ahold of them.

“GIR, I need these.” I said as I kneeled, reaching out and grabbing the pair by the opposite end.

“But then you'll leeeeeave!” The robot whined in disappointment.

“Let them go, GIR! The Dib-jerk is going home.” The robots master ordered, but it made no difference.

“But he just got here! And I didn't get to show him my new toy yet.” I actually felt kinda bad. GIR was innocent in all this. Even when he was a menace, he was still usually little threat, and only hostile when ordered to be. He was kind of was like a dog, in that way.

“GIR, if you let go of these boots now, I'll order you 10 pizzas when I get home.” I offered, a more than fair bargain.

“WELL, YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL, BIG HEADED BOY!” The little one happily agreed, letting the shoes go free, his arms raised up in excitement.

“Dib, wait,” Zim tried to stop me as I turned to leave, but I didn't listen. Fuck that guy.

“You wanted me to leave, remember?”

“No, Dib, seriously, the pizzas aren't necessary.”

Already out the door, and leaving it open, I turned around to look at him, middle finger in the air as I walked backwards.

“Dib!” Zim called from the doorway. I turned back around and continued my retreat, finger still up for Zim to see. “DIB! IF THERE ARE PIZZAS AT THIS HOUSE TONIGHT, YOU'LL BE SORRY!” He yelled after me, and I didn't give a shit. In fact, it made me wanna do it more.

My walk home was faster than my walk to Zim's. I was pissed at the whole exchange between us. That hadn't gone how I wanted it to at all.

But what did I expect? I had no plan, I just went there on impulse. How was it supposed to go? “Oh, here you go, Zim. Sorry about all the years I tried to kill you or whatever. Can you please choke me?”

It was ridiculous. The whole thing was one big, confusing, ridiculous mess that I couldn't make sense of and I kept making worse. I was only trying to… well, I didn't know what I was trying to do exactly, but Zim certainly wasn't letting me do it.

Once inside my normally set up and decorated house, boots thrown angrily by the front door, I pulled out my phone and began looking for whoever could make the messiest pizza. Something GIR could get on the ceiling again or whatever his little robot heart desired. I was uncertain if he could taste or even had anywhere to put the food after it was in his mouth. Did he have a stomach? I didn't care, but I didn't think flavor really mattered. I picked a restaurant, hit call and waited for an answer.

“Yes, hi, I'd like to order 10 large pizzas. Uh-huh. Yeah, just 10 of your cheesiest, messiest, greasiest pizzas. Toppings? Uh, I don't really care, as long as they're extra cheesy. Make them all different if you want. Oh, add meat to at least a few of them. Ooh, yes, I'd love to add that dessert. Is the chocolate pretty sticky? Would it be hell to get out of the carpet? Cool.”

Finishing my order, I gave the guy on the phone Zim's address and completed my mission to fuck with him. GIR would probably forget my promise, but I wasn't really doing it for him in the first place.

“What the hell was that about?” A voice from behind me asked, startling the fuck out of me.

“Fucking shit!” I spun around quickly to see my sister, looking up from her Game Slave momentarily. “I didn't know you were behind me. How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to hear you order an unnecessary amount of food and send it Zim's house.” She answered, glancing between me and the game. “So what was that about?”

“GIR wants pizza and Zim doesn't.” I offered the most simplified answer possible.

“So, you're hoping GIR will make a huge mess for Zim to clean?” She laughed, but not out of genuine amusement. “Wow, Dib, that's pretty fucking pathetic, even for you.” She scoffed at me, looking back down at her GS I'd hardly seen her put down in weeks. Some new DLC to some game or another had her obsessed. I sighed.

“Yeah, maybe it is, he just… pissed me off.”

“You guys are always getting mad for dumb fuck reasons.” She stopped looking up from her game. “Got could've at least ordered us pizza, too.”

“Hm. You know, I am kinda hungry. I can call back and order some for us, too. Two should be fine this time.” I pulled my phone back out of my pocket, called that same place back, and ordered again.

“Yeah, I called a few minutes ago. I need to place another order. No, just two this time, different address.”

“I want peperoni with extra cheese.” Gaz told me as if I didn't know.

“Please, like I don't know what kind of pizza you like.” I said, moving my phone away from my mouth so only she could hear me. She just flipped me off; it was our love language.

After my call ended, Gaz went right back into our previous conversation.

“So what happened this time? Zim's not back at with planetary take over or you would've imploded by now. Did he pepper you again?”

“No, ugh. It's so stupid.” I sighed, exasperated, and opened up to my sister. I left out some big details like the erection. That was too awkward and embarrassing to share, I kept it vague.

“Wow. I knew you were both stupid, but if it's possible, I think you're devolving.”

“I'm sorry?”

“Dib, you both suck.” She said, looking me in the eye. Then she turned from me, going back to her game and back to her room. “You guys should just fuck and get it over with.”

“Excuse me?!” I called after her, but she was already gone.

“Call me when the foods here.” Was the last thing she said before I heard her door close.

The next day was something else. I went to skool, no longer hiding in shame. I was still unreasonably pissed from the night before. That day, I had a mission. I was gonna bother the fuck out of that bug. With that intent, I walked through the front door, went on with my day, just waiting for Zim to see me.

“You guys should just fuck and get it over with.”

The thought echoed in my head, it bothered me just as much as the night before. Why would she even say that? Why would she even think that? I had intentionally left out the more embarrassing details, and that was still her conclusion. But I didn't want to do that, I didn't have any sexual interest in Zim. It was just his touch, that was all.

Unfortunately, Zim wasn't present the first half of the day. He showed up in the cafeteria about halfway through lunchtime. Rather than walk right up to him and proudly display my new shoes, I waited for him to notice. It wasn't too difficult, since I was sitting backwards at my usual table, arms propped up behind me and one leg crossed over the other, looking right at the ex-invader. Even with his contacts, I could see how pissed he was, his stare like knives. He sat there awhile, seething, probably contemplating how to hurt me. At least I hoped. As some students began to clear out, Zim made his way to me, eyes filled with fury.

“Why are you tormenting me?” He asked once he was in front of me.

“Tormenting you? You're the one who told me to keep the boots, so that's what I'm doing.” I shrugged, speaking with obvious sarcasm.

“But you’re wearing them again. You’re trying to bother me.”

“Is it working?” I smiled, hopeful.

“No!” The little jerk defended himself.

“Then why are you over here?” I challenged.

“You’re flaunting your stupid, long, human legs in Irken clothing, the boots to my uniform, and you don't expect me to think it's an invitation to come to you?” He said, using dramatic gestures.

“So it did work.” My smile grew.

“No! Ugh, I hate you so much!” His hands balled into fists as he spoke, shaking by his sides.

“Yeah, well I hate you more.” I shot back at him.

“I can't fucking stand you!”

“Dude, I can't take it seriously when you use the fuck word. It sounds so weird coming from you.” It wasn't necessarily uncommon for Zim to swear, he'd finally begun using them a few years ago, but that word was used very rarely.

“Well, too fucking bad! I'm at the very end of how much I can take before I break-” He took a sudden deep breath, huffing it beck out. “Before I break something!” He finished, shaking.

“Really? Are you? Because you threatened me just yesterday over some pizza, and I've yet to regret it. Sounds like empty threats to me.” I rested the leg i had oropped up back down, switching positions so my ither leg was then propped up. “Did you guys enjoy those, by the way?”

“AHH! I'll show you an empty threat!” He yelled, a hand reaching for my all too eager neck, my eyes wide. Zim stopped short, avoiding touch, much to my dismay. Instead, he withdrew his hand and yelled in frustration. “It was more than some pizza! And there was that chocolate thing. Cheese and chocolate on everything!”

“That must've taken hours to clean.” I smiled, pleased with myself.

“Yes, it did!” He yelled, making a move toward me again before holding himself back once more.

“I can tell you wanna hurt me.”

“No! I'm not playing whatever game this is! I thought you ‘felt bad’ for pushing me, but you're doing it now!” He reminded me, and I was pained knowing he was right. I knew I was being an asshole.

“I know… you're right, it's just…” I leaned forward, putting my leg down and resting my elbows on my legs. “I tried apologizing yesterday and it didn't work-”

“So you just do it again anyway? Just go out of your way to frustrate me even more?” He asked, and I never thought I'd see the day Zim was being so rational.

“I don't know what else to do!” My arrogance was wearing off quickly, desperation filling in it's absence.

“Well, do it by yourself.” The Irken spoke with that finality again that I still didn't like.

“No!” I shouted, reaching out to grab at any part of Zim that I could and pulling him backward into my arms. I locked them around his small body, holding him tight against my chest.

“What are you doing?! You let go of Zim right now!” The alien demanded, struggling in my arms.

“No!” I shouted, desperate to keep him close.

“What are you trying to accomplish? What do you want from me?!” He yelled, and I could hear his desperation to leave, to get away from me.

“I don't want you to be done with me!” I answered with the utmost honesty.

“What? What are you even talking about?”

“I mean, this, us! We've always fought, always been enemies. But you pulled away, and I didn't like that. I missed everything we used to do, and I didn't wanna stop, I wanna go back to what we had, but-”

“I don't want that!” The alien interjected.

“I know! And I can't keep forcing you, I was wrong, I'm sorry.” It was the first time I had ever said that to Zim.

“You're sorry?” He repeated.

“Yes! I'm sorry, I just don't wanna lose you.” My arms tightened their grip.

“I don't understand you, and I don't like this. Take your hands off me! I'll impale you!” The Irken threatened.

“I don't care, I don't wanna let go!” I shouted.

Zim struggled, hard, pulling and pushing and squirming against me until he was almost turned to face me. I don't really know why, but as I pulled him in again, I shocked both of us by pressing my mouth to his, kissing the invader.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” He screamed, once he'd pushed me away, completely thrown off guard by the very new thing I had done.

“I don't know!” I answered, still trying so hard to hold onto him. He managed to slip an arm free and wrap his hand around my throat. Reflexively, one of my own hands shot up to grab his wrist.

“Zim is so tired, Dib! I don't have the desire to play fight with you like children anymore. The best thing you can do for us both is to surrender.” He was seething, looking into my eyes as he spoke.

“Fine!” I screamed

“...What?” He asked, expression morphing from anger to confusion.

“If that's what it takes then I surrender! I give up, I won't fight you. I'll do whatever you want, I submit! Just please don't stop touching me!” I begged without shame.

“Y-... you submit to me?” Zim asked in disbelief.

“Yes! This thing between us can't end without one or the both of us dying or giving up.” My voice was strained from the hand around my throat, but I kept taking. “I give up! You win. You win, Zim, you can have me. You can have me, you can hurt me if you want, just don't be finished with me.” My begging continued and I felt like crying. Zim's grip slowly loosened.

“I don't know what to say. For years I wanted you to give up. I never imagined you'd do it so willingly.” He sounded like he almost didn't believe it. It was unreal for me, too.

“Yeah… I didn't either. So… do you accept?” I asked, Zim's loose grip still around my throat.

“Well, I don't know. This is different than I imagined.” His hand slipped from my neck.

“You wanted to get your hands on me for a long time.” I reminded him, my arms still embracing Zim.

“Yes, to hurt you, when pain still made sense to me, and when your body reacted normal.” He pushed against me once more, as if he just realized he was in my lap, and I was inclined to let him rise. “I don't have the desire to torture you anymore. What kind of contact do you even want?”

“Well, you can still hurt me,” I blushed a little. “Just, you know… the good kind of hurt.”

“What is ‘good hurt’?” The other asked, and it was understandable why that was confusing.

“Like when you choked me or pulled my hair.” I tried to explain.

“And ‘bad hurt’ would be…?”

“I don't know, like… stabbing me or something, that seems pretty extreme and not fun.”

“So, you want me to hurt you… for sexual purposes?” He avoided my gaze at the last part.

“I mean… yeah, I guess I can't deny it.” My face heated more, also momentarily avoiding his gaze.

“I don't wanna mate with you, Dib-human.”

“That's okay, I don't want that either. I just want your touch.”

“And when am I supposed to do these things?”

“Whenever you want.” I shrugged.

“This is what you wanted, Dib.” The green one reminded me.

“Are you saying you don't want me?” I asked, to which Zim just sighed.

“So you want me to take you back home with me or something to… choke you?” I could see him trying hard to make sense of what I was asking.

“Yeah, that sounds fun.” I smiled.

“And you'll really come willingly.” He asked, and I doubted he caught the double meaning.

“I most definitely will.” I answered with that same smile.

Zim looked at the ground, his arms crossed over his chest, contemplating as his index finger tapped on his arm. I began to feel increasingly more nervous as I waited for an answer.

“...Okay.” He finally said.

“What? Really?!” I asked, happy he accepted. I didn't want to know what my life would be if he had rejected me.

“Yes, yes, don't be weird about it. No more of… that thing you did.” He waved one of his hands around his mouth, a cringed look on his face.

“You mean kiss you?” I asked, cheeks red hot with embarrassment at the memory.

“Yes, the weird, gross mouth thing you humans do so often.” He clarified for me. “I don't like it.”

“Okay, no kissing, got it. Any other rules?” I asked.

“I don't know. Just… obey me.” The invader said.

“Okay.” I smiled again, ready to start this transformation to our dynamic.

Notes:

Look at that, Dib was honest with his feelings and now it can get increasingly more gay! I've had that surrender in my head for a minute, I just wasn't sure how I was gonna execute it. Hope it was satisfying! If you'd like to suggest a name for any unnamed chapter and I like it, I'll credit you for it! ♡

Notes:

Leave some love if you enjoyed it. Comments keep me going so those are highly encouraged. ♡