Chapter Text
PANSY
It is no big deal to have to go back to Hogwarts. It is certainly the lesser of evils in Pansy's books, and she has never not liked going back to school. As always, it is her chance to escape her parents, who border on that fine line between being criminals and just plain bonkers. Of course, with her father now in Azkaban, her mother has free rein on the estate and everything it entails. Including Pansy and her younger sister.
Pansy has no interest in any of this whatsoever. She never has.
If her mother had any say in Pansy's life - which she has tried to have since Pansy left her womb, and which Pansy has refused since she learned how to do things for herself - Pansy would already have a husband waiting for her in the summer before she is set to return to her 8th year at Hogwarts.
Pansy did relent in her mother's wishes occasionally and met with an assortment of wizards she had lined up for Pansy to peruse for a potential husband. She was gracious in that way, letting Pansy pick a man from a line-up. Never mind the fact that they were all at least twice her age, foreign and could hardly carry a proper conversation in English. And that was if she disregarded their looks. Beards could be handsome on some people, she supposed. (These were not.)
So, when September makes its silent announcement, Pansy is far from sad to wish her mother goodbye. The only worry she has is for her sister, Posey. Pansy worries for a moment that her mother will grow even stranger in their home with no one to keep her in check. Because Posey is still too young to reject their mother’s insane demands most of the time. Pansy takes a great deal of pride and joy in the fact that Posey is starting to speak for herself, even if she is just 10 years old. But once Pansy boards the Hogwarts Express, those worries evaporate along with the steam on the train as it travels further north.
It isn't until Pansy finds herself among the rest of the group of students returning for their 8th year that she starts to wonder why the Headmistress has gathered them before the welcome feast in the Great Hall.
Pansy doesn't pay attention to much of what McGonagall has to say. She doubts it will concern her anyway. Instead, she swaps looks with Daphne, who continues to shoot coy looks at Neville fucking Longbottom of all people. Pansy has never understood Daphne's fascination with some boys she chooses to give her attention. From the way Longbottom avoids her eyes, Pansy suspects something might happen eventually if Daphne gets her say in things. Daphne usually does.
"…an attempt to create better unity across houses. Each of you is, of course, as welcome as ever in your House common rooms, however, as the number of 8th-year students is limited and this is something unprecedented, the rest of the teachers and myself have thought to carry things out differently according to your housing. Your luggage has already been taken to your new rooms, of which you will find the complete list in each common room after the feast." Without any further explanation, McGonagall ushers them into the Great Hall with a few chosen looks for some of Pansy's classmates.
Pansy scans the heads around her. She doesn't know what to feel about the fact that neither Potter nor Weasley are in the small crowd. Granger's bushy hair is unmistakable, of course, and she's chosen Longbottom to stick with in the absence of her friends.
Theo snickers with Blaise about something most likely childish and stupid. From the way Daphne rolls her eyes it seems she overhears parts of their conversation before she comes over to link arms with Pansy as they take their seats in the Great Hall before the new first years arrive. As she expects, Draco is nowhere to be seen.
Pansy just makes out a few other faces she recognises from her many years at Hogwarts, but she has never taken her time to know many of them by name. She mostly knows them as the blonde Hufflepuff or Loud-Mouth. Aside from Granger and the other Gryffindors.
The welcome feast is as abundant as always, and unlike every previous year, Pansy stocks her plate with everything she likes. She honestly doesn't give a flying fuck about her mother's constant babble about maintaining a perfect waistline for the ideal husband waiting for her. Pansy has no interest in a husband any time soon and no one is waiting for her as long as she has a say in it.
Once the feast is over, Daphne drags her along to the dungeons to find out where their rooms will be.
Daphne briefly explains they have all been granted new double rooms to share with someone from another house. Interhouse unity and all that crap. All the rooms have been set up in a rarely used part of the castle (no one says it out loud, but very few people still select Divination for their timetables).
"Oh, Susan Bones. She's not too bad. At least I think so. Haven't ever talked to her much. What about you, Pansy? Who are you sharing a room with?" Daphne whips her blonde hair over her shoulder as she turns to find Pansy glaring at the list of names.
"Fucking Granger,” she grits out between her teeth.
- - - - -
Throughout the month, Pansy goes to great lengths to spend as little time in her shared room with Granger as possible. She sleeps there, and she tries to limit her presence in the room to that. It seems Granger does the same as they barely cross each other's paths in the morning or evenings. They share a bath with four other 8th-year girls, each sharing a room, and Pansy is grateful that Daphne at least is somewhat close by when she wants to get out of Granger's air – and hair.
Susan spends most of her time with some of her other friends, leaving Daphne and Pansy alone frequently.
But it is sleeping next to Granger that takes the most getting used to.
Pansy suspects Granger is accustomed to sleeping next to the other girls from her house as Pansy is from previous years. But it is different with just one person in the room.
At first, many nights are restless for Pansy.
She is too aware of every move and breath Granger takes. The way she kicks her duvet halfway off within the first couple of hours and her golden legs wrap themselves around the covers and snuggle them close to her stomach while lying on her side. When she does this and turns her back to Pansy, she can watch the entire form of Hermione Granger's body breathe heavily once sleep overtakes her.
Hermione Granger sleeps in a worn-out t-shirt and a pair of loose shorts that leave little to any person's imagination. But when she curls around her duvet in her sleep, her clothes move around her body, exposing parts Pansy had never imagined seeing on the famous Golden Girl. It isn't something scandalous. It is just an upper back thigh with a hint of a curve. Or a flattened stomach and a lower ribcage that shows too much.
For many nights, Pansy does not sleep well. She finds herself too curious about Granger's person in the middle of the night. It takes her two weeks to grow somewhat climatised to find her rest better at night.
By the end of September, she can pass out on her bed in her satin nightgown with no problem while Granger's heavy breathing fills the room.
Pansy never realises that her and Granger's breathing unconsciously synchronises during the night, only to be disrupted when Granger wakes from one of her nightmares. But Pansy usually pretends to ignore the frantic wheezes coming from Granger's bed when this happens.
What would she say in any case?
Instead, she lies in the dark, pretending to sleep, while Granger finds a way to calm herself and go back to a restless sleep that somehow finds a way to Pansy's bed as well.
- - - - -
It is one of the last days of September when Pansy wakes much too late than anticipated. Granger had one of her more troublesome nightmares during the night, but she is nowhere to be seen when Pansy finally gets out of bed.
As she prepares for the day, she searches for her jumper because the chill autumn winds have started to find their way into the castle grounds, and Pansy hates to be cold.
For someone as high-strung and meticulous in her planning, Granger can be a bit of a mess with her clothes. Most mornings, she is late, too, because of her poor sleep. Her clothes are strewn across her bed, and that's when Pansy spots something that resembles her jumper. She pulls it from the pile and inspects it.
It isn't her jumper.
It's Granger's.
But from another look around their room, Pansy's jumper is nowhere to be seen.
"Fuck it."
She pulls the jumper over her head and is immediately overwhelmed with the scent of Granger. Vanilla and something floral invades her nostrils, and Pansy is very close to ripping it off again. But the softness of the jumper is nothing like her own, and after a few deep breaths, the scent of Granger isn't so bad. It's rather lovely as it happens.
Then she goes to her classes in Hermione Granger's jumper.
HERMIONE
Some things are easy for Hermione Granger. Going to her classes comes second nature to her as she's done it for several years now. Hermione loves to learn. She's always eager to learn new things, and she does not think this trait will ever leave her. Her curiosity is too big to appease.
Sharing a room with Pansy Parkinson is not the easiest thing she has had to do in her life. And she thinks this says a lot because she spent the previous year helping Harry defeat Voldemort.
When she first sees her name paired with Pansy's on the list, she debates asking McGonagall for a change. But when she realises this to be a failure on her part, she quickly sets out to find another plan.
Thus, she is determined to dedicate her time to her studies as she is free to do without having to help Harry or Ron do their homework - or defeat any evil wizards once her homework is done. Hermione can find her way to the library with her eyes closed. Or as she often does, with her eyes glued to a book. And she makes this her new routine to avoid spending too much time in her room or the vicinity of one Pansy Parkinson.
It is easy in the first few weeks of the new term. There are far too many new things to deal with. Hermione is glad she declined the offer of being Head Girl. She discovers a familiar love for learning, and she wants to dedicate much of her time to it. Thus, she takes to occupy her days with books and the comforting companionship of Ginny (unless she has Quidditch practice) and Neville (unless he forgets the time while in the greenhouses with Professor Sprout).
At first, she thinks all that time alone with just her books will be too strange without Harry or Ron constantly interrupting her. But after a few days, she comes to realise that it is precisely what she needs after the previous year.
Peace.
Tranquillity.
But during the night, it is another matter.
Hermione desperately needs to sleep if she wishes to maintain her studies and keep up with the rigorous schedule she has planned for herself.
However, it does not seem her mind has received the memo because it keeps reliving some of her worst memories. Rarely a night goes by without Hermione waking up with a scream lodged in her throat. The dreams vary between Bellatrix's horrible grin looming over her, or the sight of Hagrid carrying a lifeless Harry into the courtyard.
She never blames Harry or Ron for not wanting to return to finish their N.E.W.T.s. But she misses them terribly. Her two best friends have decided to take a free step in the direction of their future. Hermione is still unsure what her future will hold and, thus, she decided to return to Hogwarts while she figures it out.
Even with Neville and Ginny here to talk to, it is never the same as Harry or Ron. Ginny is fun like her brothers, but not in the way Ron is always able to make her smile or laugh.
Neville is sweet and caring, but he's not the brother she has found in Harry.
And then, of course, there's Pansy Parkinson.
"How is it shacking up with Parkinson?" Ginny asks one morning in the second week of September while at breakfast. Hermione stirs her porridge and absently slices an apple to eat along with it. Her tea is already cold, but a quick heating charm takes care of that.
Hermione shrugs.
"It's less awful than I expected. We hardly see much of each other as it is,” she explains with a quick wave of her wand to warm her tea.
Most mornings they just pass each other on their way to class. It's the same in the evenings. One of them is usually in bed before the other returns to their room.
The only thing that seems to be an issue is the actual sleeping. Ginny knows about Hermione's nightmares as they shared a room over the summer at the Burrow. Ginny woke from her share of nightmares, too, and they helped each other through the rough nights by talking to one another. Hermione can't explain to Ginny how much she misses those talks. And she can't find it in herself to wander through the castle in the middle of her smaller panic attacks during the night after waking up in a cold sweat.
More than once, she caught Pansy's glinting eyes in the dark as Hermione started to mumble to herself to try and calm her nerves. But Pansy has not mentioned anything as of yet.
"Well, you let me know if she's any trouble and I'll fire off my Bat Bogey in a second." Hermione giggles and takes the offer in hand. She doubts she will have to use it.
Pansy hardly seems interested in having anything as close to a conversation with Hermione as Hermione is to have one with her.
As September comes to an end, Hermione celebrates her birthday in the Gryffindor common room with her friends. Dean and Seamus return from the kitchen, arms loaded with treats from the house elves, and Ginny has secured a round of Butterbeer for Hermione and their small group of friends. Even Luna has managed to sneak her way into the common room for the small celebration.
Hermione feels truly happy that night. The only thing missing would be Harry and Ron. Both sent her an owl earlier that morning with their birthday wishes and presents for her (a new journal from Harry and a beautiful quill and some sugar quills from Ron). They were both sad not to celebrate her birthday with her, but their letters warmed her heart in their absence.
And although Ron ended his letter with his love for her, Hermione read it without that fluttering feeling in her chest. She supposes that time and distance have prevented whatever flimsy connection they had from growing any further.
Once McGonagall stops by to put a stop to the celebrations, Ginny pulls Hermione in for a tight hug that lasts several minutes.
"Want to sneak back and sleep in my room?" She whispers, and Hermione digs her fingers into Ginny's jumper. It is a tempting offer, and she nearly accepts, but with McGonagall still looming near the portrait, she doesn't dare.
"Happy Birthday, Hermione,” Ginny and Neville chorus before they both swoop in simultaneously to kiss her on the cheek. It is such a surprising gesture that Hermione can't stop the huge smile on her face, and out of the corner of her eye, she even spots McGonagall sharing a strained smile.
But all the happy feelings and sentiments of her birthday don't keep her nightmares at bay.
And why would they?
This night when she wakes from her nightmare, her pulse racing and sweat clamming her forehead, she stares around the room in that same desperation. She can still taste the remnants of Butterbeer while her mind reels to remember that she is safe. That she is at Hogwarts, and nothing and no one is about to kill her.
"It was just a dream."
Hermione is so startled to hear the low voice whisper in the dark that she jumps, and half her duvet falls to the floor.
"What?" she croaks into the darkness as her eyes adjust to the lack of light. She reaches blindly for her duvet from the floor before she sinks into herself again.
"It was just a dream, Granger." Pansy's voice is soft. It is unlike anything Hermione has ever heard from the girl before. Hermione stares in the direction of Pansy's bed. But she doesn't see the usual glint from Pansy's eyes. Either she has her back to the room, or her eyes are closed. Hermione's heart keeps pounding inside her ribcage as the last beatings of her nightmare seep through her veins.
"Go back to sleep, Granger. You're disturbing my beauty rest." There is a ruffle of blankets, and then Pansy's breathing slows down again. Hermione sits in the dark, still trying to control hers.
For nearly a month now, the two of them have slept in the same room and never has Pansy's offered any help in this minuscule way. But in its strange and offensive way, it does help Hermione to grasp the reality around her. She spots the shapes of her presents from earlier that evening still stacked on the desk by the end of her bed. The window drapes are not properly closed, and a sliver of moonlight filters into the room.
Hermione grabs her dressing gown and wraps it tightly around her body before heading to the bathroom. There, she drinks a glass of water before returning to her room, where Pansy's breathing informs her that she is sound asleep again.
"Thank you,” Hermione whispers as she climbs back into her bed. There is a ruffle of fabric and a huffed breath, but Pansy doesn't say anything else, and Hermione is left to assume that Pansy is asleep again.
Hermione is also quicker to return to a deeper sleep afterwards.