Every Other Week

by Inverse_Me

Summary:

Just a cute little rant about how I want to fucking kill myself sometimes

Tw: suicide, divorce

Every other week I get to learn how broken the world is.

 

Every other week I get to experience the same pain,

Of learning how my mother lied,

Of remembering that my family isn’t as well off as I always thought we were.

 

Every other week I disappoint my dad,

For something I can’t control,

But I should be in control.

 

Every other week,

Back and forth like a goddamned pendulum,

I was so happy an hour ago, why am I crying now?

 

Every other week I get to be myself,

I can be the atheist I want to be,

Then back to church.

God has done nothing for me.

 

Every other week,

New room, new problems

Or are they the same and I can’t remember enough to tell them apart anymore

 

Every other week,

I swallow the same medicine,

But sometimes…

They forget to take it back from me…

Dad should have remembered to take it back…

Notes:

I’m not gonna kill myself, but some nights I would 100% take all my pills if it weren’t an unnecessary expense for my dad and Candice. I don’t want them to have to take me to the hospital and pay even more ER bills.

So no, I will not be committing suicide any time soon