Work Text:
One look, dark room
Meant just for you
Time moved too fast,
You play it back
Right, left, forwards, backwards, jump, left again and attack. This was the procedure that Kenma continued since three, four, five, maybe six hours? He lost track of time.
His eyes began burning after a while but he wholeheartedly started ignoring that feeling years ago. He couldn't miss anything that was happening on his screen. Otherwise, it meant game over.
"Aww, come on, Kenma. You're still at it?", Kuroo's voice could be heard from somewhere behind him and Kenma wondered when his best friend had entered his room and how long he might've been here already.
But he didn't answer, still concentrated on his ongoing game. Right, left, forward, backwards, jump, left again and- the screen went black.
Kenma blinked once, then twice and dropped his controller. "What the fuck?", he muttered.
"I pulled the cable out of the socket", Kuroo just said. "Don't snap on me now, I am just worried. Your mom told me you didn't eat lunch or dinner because you played through since breakfast."
Kuroo sat himself next to Kenma on his bed, a tray with two bowls and a cup on it in his hands.
Kenma's eyes slowly adjusted themselves to the rather dark room that was only illuminated through the street light in front of his window. He turned his head to the tray and then looked up at Kuroo who took one of the bowls and handed it to him.
Kenma reached out and took the bowl. It was still warm. He sighed and started eating with the chopsticks that Kuroo handed him afterwards.
10 minutes later both had finished their bowls and sat in silence.
That was until Kuroo started talking.
"I hope you know that I only care for you and don't mean to annoy you."
Kenma turned to Kuroo. The other one gave him a soft look filled with care and worry.
"Yeah I know", Kenma murmured, "thank you."
Suddenly Kuroo had his same smug grin that he always had.
And with even more of a sudden Kuroo had reached out and, before he realised it, Kenma found himself in Kuroo's arms.
But as fast as it happened, as fast it ended.
Kenma's brain went blank for a second. They never really hugged.
Buttons on a coat
Lighthearted joke
No proof, not much
But you saw enough
His hands were freezing but he didn't care. He got this game just yesterday and he was so close to finishing it.
Right, left, forwards, backwards, jump, left again and attack. Kenma grinned to himself. Another level cleared.
A sudden shiver occurred. "Why did winter have to be cold?", he thought to himself. Kenma looked up, to the left and then to the right. But Kuroo was nowhere to be seen.
Normally he hadn't a problem to wait for him in the morning. But on windy November days like these he just had the urge to either go back into his own home and wait at the kitchen window. Or to march up to Kuroo's house and ring until the older boy would come out.
He nuzzled into his red scarf. "Hurry up", he thought to himself again and as if his pleads were heard, two minutes later Kuroo's shadow appeared next to where he sat on the ground.
"Sorry that I kept you waiting, my hair didn't want the way I wanted it to be", the older one laughed. Kenma looked up at him and stood up. "No worries. I didn't mind."
"I know you're lying, you're freezing", Kuroo said and pointed at the smaller one's shaking hands. "Whatever", Kenma shrugged and turned to leave, "Now come on."
Kuroo followed him.
"So you wanna know what happened to my hair?"
Kenma raised an eyebrow and shrugged again. He didn't die to know but Kuroo talking would be better than silence on the whole way to school.
"I woke up, dressed myself and then was almost finished. Only my hair was left to be styled", Kuroo began telling him the story of "the great war" with his hair. Everytime he tried to tame it and shape it the right way with help of his hair gel, some strain would put up protest and stick out.
"But you seemed successful", Kenma commented and Kuroo grinned. "Oh yes, I won. And my hair looks flawless as always."
"To some extent it's okay to live in delusion", the smaller one mumbled and Kuroo let out an indignant "Ay!".
They stopped at a traffic light. "Are you still freezing?"
Kenma looked up. "No", but Kuroo turned Kenma by the shoulder to him.
"You're lying again", he said and fumbled at the top of Kenma's coat. "What are you doing?", Kenma protested and Kuroo simply replied, "Buttoning up your coat."
Kenma huffed as Kuroo let go and started crossing the street.
Why did he care so much?
He says, "Look up"
And your shoulders brush
No proof, one touch
But you felt enough
"We lost." Kuroo nodded and looked up in the night sky. "We did", he said quietly.
"I'm sorry", Kenma murmured while looking somewhere in the distance. "It's okay."
But Kenma heard it in his voice that he was disappointed.
"This was your last chance", Kenma said again, fumbling with his fingers. "Maybe if I wouldn't have obsessed competing with Shoyou then maybe I would've concentrated better and-"
"Hey, Kenma, it's okay. They were just better. Next year you'll get them", Kuroo assured and laid a hand at the younger one's shoulder.
Kenma sighed and looked up at Kuroo. "But next year you won't be here", he argued and Kuroo raised an eyebrow.
Kuroo let out a sigh which was even visible due to the cold. "You'll continue next year?", he asked after a minute of complete silence, glancing at his friend.
Kenma bit his lip. He had fun today, even though they lost. He wasn't even that sad that they lost, moreover he was sad that he couldn't gift Kuroo this win.
"I don't know. I wasn't intending to but after today I might consider."
Kuroo nodded and Kenma shivered. He hated winter just as much as gravity, he just set that in stone. If he could change three things in this world, he would erase gravity, coldness and maybe-
"Hey, Kenma, look", Kuroo exclaimed and ended Kenma's train of useless thoughts - like he always did.
The boy turned his gaze to the sky and suddenly something landed on his nose, a snowflake. It was snowing.
"How pretty", Kuroo commented. Kenma didn't know if he meant the snowflake on his nose that startled him seconds ago or the snow in general. But he figured it was silly to ask. Why would he call Kenma pretty after all?
Nevertheless, Kenma smiled and turned to Kuroo. "Yeah it is."
They continued watching the snow fall down from the night sky. And then there it was. The moment where both of them reached out with one of their hands to catch one of the millions of snowflakes. The moment of both of their hands accidentally touching each other.
They stopped, glanced at the other and pulled their hands back. He didn't know about Kuroo. But for Kenma it felt like he was struck by some lightning, the moment he touched Kuroo's skin with his own.
But it probably wasn't something to think throughly about, right?
It was probably just the cold and Kenma was freezing again.
Morning, his place
Burnt toast, Sunday
You keep his shirt
He keeps his word
When Kenma awoke the next day, he wasn't laying in his bed like he expected for the first five seconds. Kenma slept the night on a futon in Kuroo's room. When he turned his head and saw said person lying next to him and not in his bed, Kenma rolled his eyes.
After their experience with the first snow of the year, Kuroo had the great idea of having a sleepover "just like the old days". Kenma protested, saying he was tired and they were too old for that but then Kuroo didn't stop begging for Kenma to agree. And who would he be if he wasn't going to give in at some point?
Kuroo started yawning just as Kenma debated about how easy it would be for him to get his switch out of his bag.
"Good morning", Kuroo mumbled after seeing Kenma wide awake. "Morning." Kenma paused. "Why are you next to me on the futon and not in your bed?"
Kuroo laughed and why did his morning voice sound so satisfying, Kenma thought - wait what.
"Didn't see a problem with it. Just thought it might be too cold alone down here. But it seems you slept fantastically", the older boy explained, sat up and went through his hair once.
Kenma nodded as a response. Silence.
"Wanna get breakfast?" And Kenma nodded again.
Few minutes later, they sat in the kitchen. Since they directly went to Kuroo's house, Kenma had no clothes to sleep with him. That's why he lend a hoodie and some shorts from Kuroo. But of course they were too big - or Kenma too small how Kuroo called it - and he looked like drowning in his clothes.
"Honestly, the hoodie looks much better on you than on me", Kuroo turned around from the counter to Kenma who was sitting at the table munching an apple.
"You think so?", Kenma asked and looked down while chewing. It wasn't a special hoodie. It was a darker grey and the front had some English sentence he was still too tired to translate.
"Yeah, I do... keep it", he said taking a pause mid sentence.
Kenma looked up. "Why?"
Kuroo shrugged. "I'll be away for university soon so maybe that you won't forget me?" And Kenma shook his head. How could he forget Kuroo. What bullshit he was talking. But he didn't argue. He acutally might have wanted to keep the hoodie.
"Ah fuck the toast", he heard Kuroo curse and glanced over at the counter. Lost in their conversation Kuroo forgot he was making toast and it completely burned. Like completely. Kenma even thought for a moment it was a brick of coal or something but he just grinned at the older one who threw toast away, a disappointed look on his face.
When Kuroo took place next to Kenma and decided to just eat some cereal instead, Kenma wanted to ask.
Will you visit? Will you text? Will we call?
"Of course we will. I promise, that nothing will change." Fuck, Kenma voiced his thoughts out loud again. His cheeks slightly reddened and he looked at the leftover apple in his hand.
"No need to be embarrassed", Kuroo chuckled and looked at his friend. "But I will promise."
And Kenma knew Kuroo and to trust him. Of course he'll keep his word because after all he cares for him, right?
And for once you let go
Of your fears and your ghosts
One step, not much
But it did enough
He didn't want Kuroo to graduate. He didn't want to go to high school one more year without him.
So seeing Kuroo get his certificate by the principal there was a bitter feeling in his stomach. Of course he was happy for him but for once he wanted to be selfish.
Once the ceremony at the school ended, Kuroo met Kenma at the gate of Nekoma high school.
"Can't believe I've just graduated", Kuroo laughed. Kenma nodded. "Congratulations."
Kuroo raised an eyebrow but otherwise he ignored Kenma's clearly pissed tone of voice.
Their walk back home was filled with silence. Only when they arrived at their street, Kuroo started talking again. "You alright?"
And Kenma nodded, too much of a coward to actually be selfish like he wanted to. Not that he could change anything now anyway. Kuroo would leave him to go to university and then soon find more friends that fit him better and-
"Kenma!", Kuroo's voice woke him out of his train of thought yet again. The smaller boy looked up at him. "I asked if you're coming too this evening?", Kuroo repeated his question.
Ah, their parents often had dinner evenings at each other's houses. Today it was over at Kuroo's in addition of celebrating his graduation. Kenma had a history of getting a way to skip those dinners most of the time. But today he felt obligated to attend. At least for Kuroo.
So he nodded. Then they both separated, Kenma went into his house and Kuroo continued walking down the street a little more where his home was.
When he looked into the mirror short before 8 pm, he felt too fancy. Normally at this time, he'd just chill on his bed in some comfortable trackpants and a hoodie - mostly the one Kuroo gifted him because it was the most comfortable possession of his now - and would game all night. But now he was wearing some uncomfortable black jeans and a white shirt.
However he had no time to change anything anymore because his mother called him down to go over.
And soon after he found himself next to Kuroo on the dining room table, stabbing his rice with his chopsticks. He had no appetite whatsoever, feeling completely irrelevant there since the only topics were politics, financial stuff, Kuroo's graduation and other adult stuff Kenma had no interest in.
After a while he started getting a headache from all the talking and the lack of oxygen. So he excused himself to take some fresh air and clear his thoughts.
God, he was pathetic. Couldn't bear a two family dinner? Kenma knew he wasn't the most social person on earth but it was quite embarrassing that everything went to his head so easily.
And he felt even more embarrassed. Because this was also a celebration for Kuroo and he wasn't even paying him some respect. He was such a bad-
"Hey, everything okay? I thought that I'd maybe check on you", Kuroo appeared next to him, hands in his pockets. Kenma was startled and looked up at him. "Yeah I just started to get a headache in there", Kenma explained quietly, "But it's not bad, don't worry."
"I always do", the older one just said. And then they stood there in silence. That was until Kuroo asked Kenma "What's really up with you?". Kenma shot him a confused look to make Kuroo elaborate. "Ah Kenma. Don't act like I didn't notice how down and pissed at the same time you were today!"
Kenma looked away, embarrassed of being caught... eh caught of what exactly? Being sad and grumpy? He didn't make sense to himself so how should he explain it to Kuroo. But he just let go for a moment.
"I guess it's everything coming down all at once.. the next school year, which will also be my last one, you graduating, which means I'll be alone, volleyball, the future, the present, the past.... I- I just don't know-"
Kenma's rant was stopped when Kuroo embraced his friend, his right hand caressing the other one's back. "Even if it may not seem like it now, I know that everything will work out." His voice was nothing more than a whisper. But Kenma liked it that way. It calmed him, somehow.
So he wrapped his arms around the older one too. "And now please promise me that you won't beat yourself up anymore about anything. Just try to live in the here and now", he added and smiled a bit. Kenma nodded.
He trusted Kuroo. And it was nice that he could let go of his thoughts even for a little bit.
One night, he wakes
Strange look on his face
Pauses, then says
"You're my best friend"
And you knew what it was
He is in love
"Now hahaha! Doesn't it feel like the good old days, Kenma?", Kuroo's laughter shallowed through Kenma's house. Kenma rolled with his eyes but grinned. They(Kuroo) decided to have a sleepover at Kenma's house(Kuroo invited himself in) and were now sitting in front of the TV watching Star Wars.
Now that they were adults, Kenma found it actually really nice to just hangout with Kuroo doing stuff like watching a movie together, playing video games and talking about other stuff they enjoyed and wanted to share. He wondered why he always was slightly embarrassed as a teenager and tried to spend his weekend evenings alone in his room.
But Kuroo was right. It was basically just like the old days. Except that Kenma was a successful YouTuber, Pro-gamer, CEO, Stock trader and University student and Kuroo was an Employee at Japan Volleyball Association. But other than that everything was the same.
So it was no surprise when they decided to sleep at 2 am in the same room in the same bed even though Kenma's house had more than enough space for Kuroo to sleep. But they slept next to each other multiple times as children and that they were adults now made no difference to them.
They were fast asleep, tired from the whole evening and all the food they ate. And Kenma was actually content. All the worries he had as a teenager were useless. Of course everything would be okay, why had he doubts?
Well, the only doubts he had now were if it was smart to let Kuroo actually sleep next to him because that man shuffled around while sleeping... Kenma considered pushing him off the bed but he felt too cruel for doing that so he turned around, opened his eyes and tried looking really pissed and intimidating.
But he found Kuroo just laying there awake, his gaze directed at the ceiling of Kenma's bedroom.
"Why are you awake?", he asked him and Kuroo turned his head. He immediately sat up and Kenma mirrored the movement, not sure what to expect. Now he was the one that Kuroo's eyes were directed to.
They just continued to sit in silence until Kuroo decided to suddenly speak again:"Kenma, I believe that you're my best friend.. since second year of middle school."
Kenma was confused at first because of course they were best friends. But he thought a few seconds longer and then he knew. And he believed he knew for himself that Kuroo was also his best friend. Since the first week where they met because their mother's thought "they will get along, they're boys".
Kenma smiled widley and reached out for Kuroo's hand which he intertwined with his own.
"Yeah, I love you too."
You can hear it in the silence (silence), you
You can feel it on the way home (way home), you
You can see it with the lights out (lights out)
You are in love, true love
You are in love