The Girls & John

by Hutch_HawkEye

Summary:

Grace and her Uncle John have a wild and adventurous night on the town and then raise hell at the Edwards' mansion it's all in a day's work when you're a 16-year-old girl, and hanging out with your squad.

Chapter 1

Grace had a lot of fun hanging out at the spa with Wendy Mitchell, for starters she was all for taking a mud bath. Grace knew her Mom wouldn't have dared take a nice lounge in the mud. Wendy had even joked about how she could have just fallen over in the pig pen, but it was nice to lounge in heated mud with an umbrella drink. Grace thought Tani and Kono would absolutely love Cam's mom. She was somehow very much a human Disney princess who could probably kickass.

Wendy also told her so many good little stories about her Uncle Cam growing up. Her favorite was about how Frank had to drive all the way back to Colorado because little CamCam had left his beloved stuffed sheep MooMoo at a Cracker Barrell on the drive home from a family road trip. She also had some definitely blackmail gold for the future. After all Frank said his wife had the memory of an elephant and forgot nothing. She wondered if she maybe had some stories about John, Evan, and Cam she had not heard of.

The first thing she and John did was head down to the shore, The last time he was here she'd found out that he could surf. They headed out to the water, and they didn't go too far out simply because Danno would magically know and they'd be grounded for life. Danno would find a way to ground John's ass too. They just used rental boards, and it amused her so much that while John was quite tall, in fact, he was taller than her Dad and Wyatt he used a shorter Thruster surfboard than she did. He'd even scored a few thumbs up from the locals, and she was 100% sure he'd just been given a nod by Kawika off in the distance.

" OH My LANTA! John, you are so coming surfing next weekend with Kono!" John just shrugged.

" Grace, I surf ok. It's not like I'm Kelly Slater or anything." Grace planted her board in the sand and gave him a good shove.

" Kelly Slater, My Butt. John you just got the nod, THE NOD from Kawika he's Kapu, You're not OK, you're stupid good. Don't be so modest." John rubbed his shoulder.

" Fine, I will go surfing with thee." Grace smiled

" Awesome, oh Tani sent a text she hopes your swim trunks are teeny," Grace said and laughed at John's eye roll.

" She needs to go to church, or something."

When they were finished surfing they grabbed some shave ice, and then headed to a few of the smaller shops. To ensure John got some goodies for his wife and his kiddies. She really hoped the next time John visited he'd have his kids and wife in tow, it would be really cool if they visited at the same time as Bones, Booth, and the kids. In fact, it'd be a cheaper holiday seeing as Wyatt had space to put them all. She thought it'd be really fun if Cam built a slip 'n slide again when all the kids were there.

When they were done in the town, they headed for Tani's house because she lived the closest to town. They pulled up in front of her house, just as Tani threw a boy right onto the cement.

" That's for looking up my skirt, Jackass!" John winced, he'd feel that for a couple of days.

" Didn't think she wore skirts," John said and Grace laughed because he wasn't wrong.

" What's with the skirt?" Grace asked.

" Annual Christmas photo for my super Mormon Grandma in Utah." Grace snickered, and Tani punched her shoulder.

" I'm going to go change and get my stuff." Tani was about to leave when a whole band of boys came out.

" Who's that?" A boy probably about six said.

" That's John, he's Grace's Uncle. John these are my brothers Kai and Koa the twins, That one is Alexander, the little one is Cohen, and that one is Dyson." Tani said pointing them out, John thought to himself that explained why Tani was so...well Tani.

John snickered at little Cohen who ripped his tie off and threw it. He was clearly done with Family Picture Day. Tani came out a few minutes later looking a whole lot more like herself.

" Grace, hop in the backseat with Tani" Grace climbed over the center console, and then burst out laughing and two pairs of eyes stared at her.

" Care to share with the class?" Tani said

" I'm turning into my Danno, I don't get to drive my own car because some blue-eyed boy always is." Tani started to laugh because lately Evan had been driving Grace's car and he had blue eyes too.

"To be fair, you could have drove but you got into the passenger's seat," John said in his own defense.

" I just accepted my fate from the get-go," Grace said with a laugh

" Oh Kono's apartment is in that house just off that next exit, you can't miss it. There is always swimwear, a wetsuit, and some kind of surf paraphernalia on the balcony." Grace said and John followed her descriptor.

Grace hopped out of the car and looked up. Kono was on the balcony sitting on Nick's lap and they were sharing a bowl of ice cream so she yelled out.

" Kono and Nicky sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G," and she missed the water balloon that had been tossed from the balcony. It made Tani and John burst out laughing.

" Nick, Can Kono come out and play?"

" Grace, I'll be down in a minute," Kono yelled back down, and Grace got back into the car to wait.

Nick followed Kono inside.

" And here I was about to strip naked, and lay myself out like a platter for your pleasure,"  Nick said, and Kono chuckled.

" Oh such a tempting offer, but I totally want to run amuck in that mansion. I've not really seen it beyond the yard. Grace said Cam built a slip 'n slide in the yard the other day. Besides you're going over to Chin's tonight."

" To lay naked at his house?" Nick said with a lazy drawl.

" I should hope not, Chin is way too vanilla for that anyway. Plus I'm pretty sure this Ohana only has room for one Throuple." Kono said and pounced on Nick and gave him a nice hard kiss.

" A nice little hold you over until tomorrow. I'm going to head out with the girls, and John. He's going to have so much fun with the chick flicks we've chosen." Kono said with a girlishly devious giggle that left Nick smiling. He was game to go over to Chin's house and whoop his little Hawaiian ass at some video games.

Grace came out the door, tossed her stuff in the truck, and got in beside John.

" John, it's great to see you again. You're going to have so much fun with us girls tonight." Kono said.

" I'm not waxing my Bikini line!" John said and Grace choked on the water she was drinking.

" JOHN!"

" Hey, I have a wife! I know what y'all girls get up to."

Kono and the girls shared a smile when John turned his attention to the road.

They were going to have a lot of fun tonight. Something told her that John was a good sport, and they'd still cause a huge ruckus in the mansion. She was looking forward to some girl time, considering her work life consisted of nothing but boys.

Chapter 2

" Grace is your mom still on her weird ass diet?"  John asked, and she nodded.

" Well, what she we get for dinner, or get to make from the grocery store. Unless you'd all like a free range grass salad and rabbit pellets." John said making the others laugh

" Can we order Chinese?" Tani asked.

" I'm down," Kono said and Grace nodded her agreement.

" That's settled let's go pick up some snacks that'll raise Rihana's blood pressure," John said.

" It's Rachel, John, and that sounds like fun."

" Let's go to the Old Time Candy Store," Kono said.

" I've never heard of it," Tani replied, she really was curious to find out about it.

" It's a new place, Nick found it the other day. There are a handful in Canada, and apparently, one of the franchisees moved out here and set up shop. He got these old-fashioned lollipops the other night, They were AMAZING. We have to pick some up for Danny."

" Gasps, are you asking him to have an illicit affair with a lollipop that isn't a DumDum? Oooh, Scandalous." Grace said making Kono chuckle.

" They are night and day better."

The little squad pulled up to the Candy shop, and it was awesome. Grace hadn't ever seen so many different and unique kinds of Candy before. It went from wall to wall. There were Mike and Ike flavors she'd never ever known existed.

" I don't even know where to start!" Tani said

" I know, it's crazy."

" John, how much are we spending? I know Wyatt gave you money for this." John figured they could burn 75$ on junk food, and still have money left to order their dinner and go to diner in the morning.

" Let's drop like 75$,"

" Cool Beans," Kono said

They spent a good half-hour just getting different types of Candy and some staple favorites. John got a 3-foot-long tube of nothing but flavored sugar powder. He sent a picture of it to his wife who sent emojis in the reply.

" Oakleigh says hello Grace," John said after talking to her for a bit in the shop.

" Tell her hi back,"

When their haul was complete, they hopped into the Cruze and made a beeline for the mansion. John parked the car, and they headed inside.

" Hey Mom," Grace yelled causing Rachel to jump and practically climb the counter.

" Grace, who's that?" She said immediately and pointed to John.

" That's John, He's Evan's commanding officer. He was here when we were fixing up Dad, and Danno's house. He's a lot of fun. He's also Uncle Cam's best Buddy."

" Uhm, Hello. Grace, I need you here this weekend. Lucinda and her daughter are coming over. I'd like you to apologize for hurting her arm at the club the other day." Grace looked at her Mom incredulously.

" Excuse Me?"

" Lucinda told me all about the incident. I will be talking to Stanley tonight, throwing that poor man to the ground over a petty squabble. Unbelievable! It's all of those Military Men and their violence you're both being exposed to." Grace, Kono, and Tani all tilted their heads and just stared at her.

" Lucinda is full of shit," Grace said

" Language, Grace- Marie." John stepped in before it got out of hand. He could already tell that Grace was taking a hard right at the Street of Danno and the temper was coming in Hot.

" Excuse Me, I don't appreciate that you've decided because we've chosen to serve in the military we're automatically violent. We are trained to protect others and ourselves. Wyatt is a former Special Ops Marine Raider. Like it or not, you were previously married to a Military Man. I was at the club, and both that young girl and her father said some reprehensible and atrocious things about Grace and her Danno. Grace tried politeness, and multiple steps of disengagement to end the situation. Unfortunately, the young girl was not receptive and continued to be a vile brat, and resorted to a physical altercation first. Grace merely removed her hand from her physical person.  Wyatt tried the same thing and her father decided violence trumped being a gentleman and Wyatt simply restrained him so he could inflict no more damage." Rachel huffed.

" I'd feel better if you'd apologize."

" Mom, if she is willing to apologize because she's the problem. Then I'll consider it. I'm not about to submit to her tyrannical behavior and let her have the upper hand by apologizing while she gets off scot-free." Grace said firmly.

" We'll discuss this later, "

" Sure, Whatever. "

" Go wash up, and if they're staying they need to wash up and be presentable no street wear. We're having company for dinner."

" So do you have an evening dress you want to let me borrow?" John asked Rachel with the straightest face that had Grace biting the inside of her cheek not to laugh. She held onto it long enough for them to make it down the hall.

"  Ugh, I so don't want to do another country club friend Dinner. Especially one with shitty food. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Let's have a bit of fun with this."

" I'm intrigued," Tani said.

" Go find your Sunday Best ladies. Tani, take one for the team. Kono, this should fit. It's one of my wife's. I grabbed her bag by mistake on the way here." Grace snorted

" Are you sure that isn't yours?" Kono asked.

" Nah, Lavender is more my colour. I'm going to go raid the Pretentious Former Wyatt closet that's left. Grace accessorize them! Meet you in Wyatt's office in twenty" John said.

They went their separate ways to get ready, when they came back into the office and looked at each other they all burst into tears they were laughing so hard. Grace set her phone down on Wyatt's phone stand and then took a group photo, and fired it to her Danno. Her Danno sent back a photo of Himself, Wyatt, and Steve all snuggled together and munching on Pizza. It made her smile that her Danno, Dad, and Wyatt were getting all the cuddles they so rightly deserved. She also knew in her gut that the relationship between the three men wasn't a passing phase, there was something deep and genuine there. She'd been seeing it in all the little things. Things like how Danno and Wyatt would smooth or fix each other's tie, or how Steve would settle his hand on Wyatt's or Danno's hip as when they talked. How Wyatt and Steve would play with her Danno's hair when they were relaxing together. She really did love seeing all those sweet moments.

Grace took in everyone's outfits again. They looked like the most pretentious group of spoilt country club brats. John even had a sweater over his shoulders and the sleeves tied in the front, he was sporting light tan dress slacks and a horizontal striped polo shirt. Which oddly matched Kono's sun dress, with a soft yellow cardigan and gaudy hair clip. She and Tani were in matching soft blue and white dresses with blue ribbons in their hair.

" We look ridiculous," Kono said.

" I know," Tani said and they started laughing again.

They stormed down the stairs, and on into the formal dining room. They made their introductions with the company, and John leaned into Grace.

" At least one of them has to be a serial killer," Grace smiled sweetly and nodded her head.

" What's for dinner?" John asked.

" We're having a lovely seaweed casserole, with Green Supreme Goddess Humus, and ChickPea patties."

" Oh, and I ordered some stuff from the vegan place in town. It's dessert." John said full of charm. Grace totally could see he grew up in a country club. He could lather it on thick and shmooz with the best of them.

Grace and the others had dumped food into random plants and out windows when Rachel and the others' eyes were diverted. Grace turned her head at the sound of the doorbell.

" That must be the food, I'll get it." Grace did and scampered to the door spitting out the last of the casserole in the process.

When Grace opened the door a half-dozen Pokemon mascots paraded through the door. She looked at John who shrugged. She could tell neither her Mom nor the company knew about what was happening. She wandered back into the dining room just as a Charmander pulled a Bluetooth speaker out of practically thin air, and the song Pony from Magic Mike kicked in.

Grace absolutely lost it when the various Pokemon started dancing. One of which offered a lap dance to her Mom. The pure look of abject horror, confusion, and something else had Grace laughing. Since it wasn't overtly sexual or anything. The company looked even more scandalized.  Rachel quickly called the dinner to an end and the company left, and with them the Pokemon.

" You DID THIS," Rachel said pointing a finger at John.

" I can 100% say I have zero to do with this." Rachel through her hands up and walked away.

John looked at the others and smiled

" My wife on the other hand, absolutely would do something like that." He said showing the text, and everyone started to laugh.

" Onesies?" Kono asked, and everyone nodded and headed back upstairs to change into their comfy clothing. They all were looking forward to kicking off their night at the mansion.

 

Chapter 3

Everyone came back downstairs into the living room. Grace with Four Squishmallows in tow.  She handed John the Hammerhead Shark and gave Kono the French Fries Squishmallow, Tani got the Octopus, and She kept the Avacado.

Kono chuckled and took a selfie with her Squishmallow and sent it to Nick with the caption ' Fries before Guys', She thought he'd get a kick out of that.

" Kono, your onesie is so cute!" Grace said looking at the black and which reindeer and snowflake onesies.

" Thank You. Nick picked them up."

They all thought John's were funny because they said Bear Cheeks across his butt. They'd been a matching set of Family Pajamas. Oakleigh always made sure they got matching jammies every December and would wear them multiple times throughout the month and on Christmas Eve through Christmas Day. He kind of laughed at how a tradition in his home as a child that he hated, ended up being a tradition in his home as an adult that he enjoyed. It figured it had more to do with his Wife doing it out of Whimsey and Fun, not out of showcasing the 'ideal' family.

" Grace, we should make a campout in the living room," Tani said and Grace was immediately on board.

" Too bad you don't have camping stuff, we could have put a tent in there it's so big," Kono said.

" Wyatt was a Marine Raider, I can promise you he's got survival camping gear, regular camping gear, and tactical camping gear. He probably hid it somewhere." John said scratching his chin.

" I'll call him," Grace said and hit his speed dial number.

She waited for him to pick up and laughed when she heard him choke and lightly admonish her Dad for being romantic and trying to feed him a marshmallow he wasn't expecting.

" What's Up, Everything alright?" Wyatt asked her.

" Yeah, uhm you wouldn't happen to have camping stuff, would you?" Grace asked.

" I have regular camping gear, it's in the garage's crawl space. Get John to get it, he'll have an easier time."

"OK, Thank You. Have fun, Love You." Grace said, and she definitely heard Danno going Aww in the background when Wyatt said he loved her back. He Danno would deny it under fear of death, but she definitely heard it.

The quad squad headed out to the detached garage and John got the tent down. It was big enough for 8 people and he had a kingsize air mattress and a twin up there. John handed everything down to the girls, and then the four camping chairs. He was pretty sure that was going to be fun.

They shoved the furniture out of the way and set up their camp. Grace scampered back upstairs and grabbed the long strand of Christmas lights from her room. She smiled when she looked at it. She got it when she was about eleven, she wanted LEDs but her mom adamantly said no. Then one day before Christmas Wyatt had handed them over and said they were left over from the Christmas lights for the garage. When she thought of it, there were these little things over the years that she'd just overlooked that were the small little bits of Wyatt hanging on in Stan Edwards's world. She made a mental note to take the lights home when they left. She had LEDs in her room but she'd put these up in her study nook for Christmas.

" Hey John can you put these up? We can set them to flicker between Red and Orange like a fire."

" Yeah, Wyatt won't care if I use a few nails in the wall," John said and went about putting them up.

They put in their order for Chinese and pass the time listening to John tell a ghost story. He was so good at them. They'd been so engrossed in the story they jumped a mile high when the doorbell rang. John laughed before going to grab their real dinner.

Rachel nearly broke her neck in the shower when she heard a yell from downstairs. She finished and pulled on her night gown and then her dressing gown. She descended the stairs, and turned into the dinning.

" What is Going on in here?"

" Slumber Party," John said after he slurped a noodle into his mouth.

" You're a grown man having a slumber party with a teenage girl, isn't that rather inappropriate?" 

" Mother!" Grace said, and John waived her off.

" Clearly, I'm having a slumber party with a teenage girl, and her best teenage girl friend who's a state champion wrestler, and Oh wait a grown ass women with a gun who works with her Cop Father Danno, and her Navy Seal Dad. Thank you for your unwarranted concern. Would you like some General Tao Chicken?" John said

" I'm a vegan,"

" I play guitar,"

" What?"

" I thought we where doing a thing,"

" What thing?"

" Are we not doing a thing?" John said and Grace tucked her head behind Kono's back and to stifle her laugh.

" We are not doing a thing," Rachel said.

" Yes we were, we where sharing things about ourselves."

" No we're not,"

" You told me you where Vegan."

" What I wasn't sharing, You offered me meat." Rachel snapped

" I didn't offer you my meat." Kono lost the battle and bit her hand. She could feel Tani an Grace stifling giggles behind her.

" Oh My God, you just did." Rachel said

" No, I wouldn't do that. My wife wouldn't want me to share my meat with another woman."

" Ugh!" Rachel threw her hands up.

" Mom we're going to make S'mores, John is doing them in the microwave. Do you want one?" Grace asked.

" No Thank You, Keep it down. These sleepovers are getting out of hand Grace. Can't you have a quiet night with a few girl friends doing quiet things?"

" We're going to paint John's nails and give him a makeover." Grace said, and John stared at her open-mouthed.

" Uh, yeah I've got nothing to say to that one, just please be quiet."

" Sure, Good Night."

" Night, Grace." Rachel said and headed upstairs.

The girls all pounced on John before he even noticed it. John accepted his fate, and just went with it. They'd just finished when Oakliegh called his phone. He picked it up and hit accept out of routine.

" Hello,"

" Oh Babe, that's a look."

" Am I pretty?" John said he could hear the girls chuckling in the background.

" Yes, If my type were Weird Barbie from the movie." She said, and smiled when three heads popped into view beside John.

" You gave him quite a look girls. I already saved a screen cap."

" Oakleigh your hair looks so pretty!" Grace said and she smiled

They wrapped up their conversation with John's wife and then he went and washed his face in the sink, and a made the S'mores. He brought them into the tend where the others where before they pulled up a Christmas Movie to watch from the tent. It truly was shapping up to be a great night. Grace couldn't wait to show her Dad all the photos the next day.

Chapter 4

When they finished the Christmas movie, and the S'mores were finished, they busted out the candy. John and Kono both knew Grace's bedtime was just non-existent tonight. To be fair, they were slightly less responsible than Cam and Evan so it was totally fine. They were obviously the Cool Big Sister and the Funcle. Kono decided to bust out a game of 21 questions.

Grace absolutely admitted to having kissed a boy, and then promised John a horrible demise should he tell Danno, Steve, or Wyatt. Kono offered to help her dispose of his body. There was apparently some kind of Girl Code he hadn't known of.

Kono looked at John, and what could only be described as a wicked, and even smirk crossed her face.

" What's the embarrassing moment of your life, John."

" You run your mouth to Cam, and you're all dead. Let's just say I got caught in the Mitchell Farm hayloft in a rather compromising position, with Oakleigh, by Cam's parents before we were engaged." Grace covered her mouth as she laughed.

" I can't believe you did that, and Uncle Cam is so wholesome, and vanilla." John bit his tongue on that one. He was 100% sure that Cam was a hell of a lot less Vanilla than he seemed, and he probably had the leather to prove it.

" What about you Kono?"

" Surprisingly, there is nothing to memorable in that category. I was an angel!"

" Grace, let's watch Bring It On," Tani said and Kono pulled it up on Netflix.

" I am not doing the Dances!" John said, and Kono looked him up and down.

" You know the Dances, John?"

" I married a former cheer captain, and I have a daughter." Grace made a mental note to ask for videos.

" Danno, doesn't know the Dances." Grace said

" Wyatt does," Kono said, and Grace and Tani stared at her.

" We went out for drinks one night, and oh here," Kono said and pulled out here phone.

" Grace, we're getting him Pom Poms!" Tani said

" There has to be a story here, because he's like actually good. He's got form."

" So, Girl's night at the Mansion with Wyatt?" Kono said

" Hell Yeah, We can do it after Christmas."

" All I ask for is the pictures," John said.

Half-way through the movie, John still ended up doing the dances because he got swept up in the moment and was just having fun. Naturally Grace recorded some of it, and sent it to his wife. Who gushed that John's willingness to be goofy, and secure in his own masculinity was one of his best qualities. Grace thought her and John where absolutely adorable.

They finally started to settle down after the movie was over, and put in one more Christmas movie to kind of wind down for the night. Kono made them some hot chocolate, and Grace really loved that having Hot Chocolate had kind of become a tradition with the Ohana. They settled into their sleeping bags, John at the end with Kono and Grace in the middle and Tani on the other side.

" You know, I won't be mad if you unbotton that onesie if it get's too hot." Tani said from across the tend. John grabbed his pillow reached over Grace and Kono in the dark and slapped her with the pillow.

" Go to bed, Tani." John said and Grace snorted.

" Good night," Kono said.

Her and John stayed up a bit later just talking, the two teenagers already falling asleep.

" John, how did you know that Oakleigh was the one?" Kono asked quietly, and John thought about his answer.

" Probably when we had our first real big fight. When I realized that even though I was absolutely mad, and wanted my space that I still wanted to crawl into bed with her that night and cuddle up."

" How'd you meet?"

" You know, how about I tell you that over coffee. I need to see how much I can rile up your cousin's BooThang Adam." Kono laughed and gave him a shove.

When Kono was down for the count, John slipped out of the tent, and headed out to the patio and gave his wife a call, and they talked for a good half hour. She caught him up on what shenanigans their kids had been up to, and how her day had been. He told her how he may have riled Rachel up about saying he didn't offer her his meat. It made her laugh, and he loved to hear her laugh. They said their goodnights, and their I Love You's and he headed back inside and checked all the entrances before heading back to his sleeping bag, and settling in himself.

If you asked him, John would say their sleepover was a major success, and he definitely wanted to bring his kids and Oakleigh to Hawaii to create some core memories. However he was looking forward to meeting up with everyone in the morning, and going on some adventures.

 

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 32 of Steve's Safe Space