Work Text:
EXT. POSSIBLY ENGLAND - WILD MOORS - DAY
We see TIMOTHEE CHALAMET, wearing a tunic and a crown, with his hands on his hips in a wide open field, doing that hula hoop pose swinging his body round.
TIMOTHEE
Oh, I am a young king. And so new to these ways. But also, my advisors are difficult and not going to be collaborative.
TIMOTHEE sighs.
TIMOTHEE
I bet they want off with my head! But no! I say, more shots of me in very scene outlook, instead of Tudor-show style court things where people backstab. We must see more of the wild moors, to show off the local cameraship.
We see more shots of the WILD MOORS. TIMOTHEE sneaks a sip of something frappa-cappa, and dusts off his tunic.
TIMOTHEE
Oh, I am so privileged, but so scared of the axe. I could die at any moment. I am here - to show the common people - a king can be brought low by such desires.
TIMOTHEE pouts.
TIMOTHEE
But also, I might die. But I do get a paycheque for two and a half hours of a movie.
TIMOTHEE winks.
TIMOTHEE
Where's Keeley? I love her, I love all the famous people nowadays. I love bullshit movies. I am the king!
TIMOTHEE raises his sword, and glances around.
TIMOTHEE
Are we done? Because historically, kings die, and I'm just saying the script for this move among many other better ones, because saturation of the market is profits.