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Han Jisung was less then trilled when he found out what their next Stray Kids Code episode would be. They were all sitting in a big conference room at a long table. The Stray Kids members on one side and a team of managers and staff on the opposite side. They were telling the group enthusiastically about the road trip they had planned for them. A road trip of all things!
The other members were quite excited, they were babbling and chattering whereas Jisung only could think of his motion sickness. Tree days of just driving around, this was going to be hell.
But he tied hard to not let his displeasure show and he forced himself to smile throughout the rest of the meeting. He did not want to be the spoilsport for the others.
The trip was planned for a few weeks from now. Enough time for Han to forget about the coming schedule. Hadn’t his bandmembers reminded him of the trip, he’d actually forgot it.
So it happened that Jisung packed his bag at the very last minute. It was the night before the road trip, and Jisung hurriedly gathered everything he’d need for the upcoming trip.
It didn’t matter how many times he’s packed a bag for a trip already, he always used his checklist, just to be safe. It happened one too many times that he did forget something in the end, and although that’s nothing dramatic, it’s annoying nevertheless. He sat in his room, all the things he wanted to take with him spread on the bed, and he checked them on his list.
Clothe for three days – check
Enough underwear – check (seriously, who doesn’t pack an extra pair of boxershorts? You never know when you might need them)
Pyjamas – check
His bag with toiletries and hygiene products – check
Towles – check
His phone charger – check
A mini fan for the hot weather– check
Anything missing? Oh yeah! He had pills for his motion sickness, so the long-time driving wouldn’t be an absolute nightmare.
Or at least he was sure that he had said pills somewhere. It was a known problem and for longer travels he always had some in stack.
He searched everywhere. He opened every cabinet in the bathroom and rummaged through them, he pulled open all the drawers of the commode in his room and yanked out their contents, creating a total mess in his room while doing so. But he the bottle with the pills remained missing.
“Ah, damn!” He groaned frustrated.
He glanced at the alarm clock to check the time. It was already past midnight. Again, Jisung let out a dissatisfied groan. Because he was late with packing, as always, he had no time to go to a pharmacy anymore. They’d start their road trip early in the morning and he really wanted to get at least some hours of sleep. Maybe he could ask a staff member in the morning. A quick stop a pharmacy shouldn’t hold them up too much, right? Right…
He stuffed everything that lay on his bed into the bag and called it a day; determined to carry through with his idea in the morning. And after a quick stop in the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth he finally went to sleep.
Han’s alarm went off way too early for his liking. He yawned and stretched his arms above his head. He just lay there for a few more minutes, mentally preparing to actually get up. Eventually he couldn’t stall it any longer. With another big yawn he rolled out of his bed and plodded towards the bathroom. A few splashes of cold water should help him wake up.
Emerging from his room, he met some of the other members. They were all looking rather tired themselves. Hyunjin didn’t even bother to open his eyes properly. He just shuffled with his eyes half shut along the hallway.
“Good morning, early bird,” Han teased. Hyunjin only huffed.
Minho was the only one fully awake. He was in the kitchen preparing a light breakfast for everyone, so they wouldn’t have to leave on an empty stomach.
One by one, the Stray Kids shuffled into the kitchen, some more awake than others. After a quick breakfast and one last stop in the bathroom, all eight of them gathered in the hallway of their apartment.
“Everyone ready to leave?” Chan asked. His question was met with affirming murmurs. “Okay then. Let’s go.”
When they left their apartment, the sun was yet to rise. Their first leg of the road trip would be several hours and they wanted to get driving before it was too hot. A company car was already waiting for them in front of the building to take them to their first filming location, where the group would switch to their own cars.
Changbin and Minho were selected drivers and the remaining members had to play a game to decide in which car they'd go with.
Busy playing games to decide the seating order in the cars (he ended up with Chan, Changbin and Sungmin), Han totally forgot to ask a manager for the pills. When it finally hit him, it was already too late. They were already driving. And because he didn’t want to hold up the filming, he decided not to say anything.
Ah, well. Maybe it wasn’t too bad. He could still ask when they’d have their first break, he though.
And indeed, the first few kilometres weren’t so bad. The played music and were singing along. The mood in the car was great; they were all super excited for this trip. Even Jisung.
The initial euphoria gradually faded away and the car became calmer. Sungmin next to him was already dozing and Changbin and Chan chatted quietly in the front.
Eventually, as it was bound to happen, Jisung started to feel a little sick. His stomach was churning and he could feel a headache creeping up. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the window. If Sungmin could doze off, so could he. Maybe a short nap would help keeping the motion sickness at bay. He actually managed to snooze a bit, but as he woke up again, he didn’t feel any better.
Half an hour later Han began to feel downright lousy. The AC was running on full power, still there was some sweat on his forehead.
He felt quite nauseous and dizzy, his head actually hurt pretty bad now.
He couldn’t wait for their first break to stop moving and get some fresh air. In the meantime, the only thing he could do was to close his eyes again and focus on his breathing. Luckily, they hadn’t any missions to carry out during the drive yet. There was no chance Han could have focused on that.
“Everything alright back there?” Changbin asked while glancing into the rearview mirror. He noticed that the two on the backseat were awfully quiet. While it was normal for Sungmin to be on the calmer side, he expected much more chatter from Jisung.
“Hm, just tired,” Han said and Changbin did seem to be satisfied by this answer and he didn’t question it any further.
The first stop came eventually and Jisung sight with relieve. He couldn’t wait to get out of the car. But unfortunately, the air outside the car had the opposite effect than he had hoped for: it was too hot. After the cool air inside the car, the sudden heat was overwhelming. He just started sweating more and the hot air did nothing for his headache. At least they stopped moving for a bit, this gave his stomach enough time to calm down and the nausea subsided a bit.
This was his chance to ask a manager to get him some medicine. He strolled away from the group towards their staff. Han explained his situation to a manager. Luckily, he was understanding about his situation and he agreed to pause the shoot for a moment in order to get the needed medicine for the young rapper. Relief flooded him. Finally, his misery would be soothed.
It almost took 45 minutes for the staff member to return from the pharmacy but that was no big deal. Secretly, everyone was grateful for the prolonged break. They stretched their stiffened limbs and took a little stroll around the parking lot.
Chan approached the youngest 3Racha member. “Was that reason why you were so quiet in the car? Because you felt sick?” He asked.
“Mm-hmm,” Han nodded.
“Okay…But you know, you could have told us a lot earlier. You didn’t have to wait and suffer silently for so long. Next time, just tell us and we’ll take a break.”
“Yes, Hyung.”
Before Chan could say anything else they were interrupted by a manager. The one, who was sent to the pharmacy. He waved Jisung over and handed him a medicament box. “Here, the pharmacist said that this is the best for motion sickness. Apparently, it works super-fast and you should be feeling better in no time.”
Han took the box with a little bow. “Thank you,” he said, “and sorry for the trouble.”
The rapper went back to the car, looking for a bottle of water. He always needed a sip a water to swallow pills.
He ripped open the box and pulled out a blister stipe. But what he saw left him dumbstruck. These weren't the little round pills he's used to. What he was holding in his hands now were thick and long bullet shaped pills. Confused at first, it struck him then: Suppositories. The Staff brought actually suppositories. ‘No,’ he thought, ‘No, this cannot be!’
He stared at the blister stripe in his hands for a moment longer. Still flustered, he made the rash decision not to take them, well aware of the fact that his motion sickness might get worse. Han couldn’t care less though. For him, the decision was clear. A little headache and some nausea wasn’t bad enough for him to go through the discomfort of shoving something up his ass.
He looked around if someone was watching him and hastily shoved the blister back in the box and then crammed the box in his crossbody bag.
As Han walked up to his waiting members, he put on a fake smile; trying his best to hide his discomfort.
“Are you ready to continue?” Someone asked.
Han nodded.
“Okay then. Everyone, back to the cars. We’ll leave in 5!” The director yelled.
The road trip continued and Han just felt worse and worse every passing minute. He deeply regretted that he didn’t took the medicine. His nausea was almost unbearable.
He kept clearing his throat to keep his gagging at bay but he knew that he couldn’t do this forever.
Slavia gathered in his mouth and bile rose in his throat. He was definitely going to puke soon. He started to panic.
They needed to drive for quite a while for the next planned stop and he was sure that he couldn’t wait this long.
“We need to stop! Please!” He suddenly blurted out.
“We cannot just stop now. We have a time plan for this trip and we must stick to it,” Changbin said from the driver’s seat without looking back. “There will be another break in a few kilometres.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Han was desperate, he gaged. “We need to stop. I have to puke!”
Chan, who sat on the passenger’s seat, turned around and looked at Jisung. He didn’t like was he saw. The youngest 3RACHA member looked impossible pale and he was sweating profusely.
“Oh shit, do you think you managed until we arrive at the next service station?” He asked worriedly.
“I don’t know,” Han whined. He swallowed again and again.
“Hey, hey! Don’t puke into the car!” Changbin said half-jokingly, half-seriously.
“I’ll inform the others that we’ll stop at the next possible place,” Sungmin said softly. He reached over to Jisung and gently rubbed his arm to sooth him. “Close your eyes and try to relax, okay? We’re almost there.”
Sungmin first called Hyunjin who was in the other Stray Kids car, together with Felix, Jeongin and Minho, to let them know that they will stop at the next gas station. They were all pretty alarmed when they heard about Jisung’s condition and Sungmin could hear nervous chatter from the other members in the background. “Don’t worry too much. He’ll be fine, He just needs a break, is all,” he said; to calm down the other members, but also himself. Because to be honest, he too was pretty worried.
“Just continue driving, we’ll meet at our next planned stop.”
Next, he called the staff in the car behind them to also let them know about their involuntary break. They were a lot more professional than the members and just gave their ok for the change of the route at short notice.
They were incredibly lucky; the next service station wasn’t far ahead and they reached it just in time.
The young rapper opened his seatbelt while the car was still driving and as soon as the car stopped, he fanatically pushed open the door and rushed out. He didn’t come far, just to green edge strip of the parking lot, but that was enough.
He bent over and let out a long stream of vomit. Tears were prickling in his eyes and he heaved pathetically.
Even after there was nothing left in his stomach, he couldn’t stop gagging. His stomach cramped terrible and his throat burned from all the acid gushing through it.
The other members stayed in the car, only Chan went after him. He stood beside him and rubbed his back soothingly as long as Jisung kept puking. “Aigoo, it’s alright. Let it all out.”
After a few minutes Han finally stopped throwing up. He was shaking and heavily panting. The vomiting was terrible for his already aching head. It only made him even more dizzy. And the nausea subsided only marginally. He felt truly awful. A few tears ran down his cheeks. He was a pitiful sight.
“I thought you took medicine for the nausea? Didn’t it work?” The leader asked worried.
“I- I didn’t,” Han mumbled his confession.
Chan’s face morphed from a concerned one to a disappointed one. “But why not?”
Han muttered something inaudible.
“What did you say? I didn’t quite catch that.”
“I’m sacred” he admitted quietly.
“Of the side effects?” Chan asked confused.
“No, that’s not it.” Han blushed. “The medicine is…well, it’s not…” He stammered, “They got me suppositories.” He finally said. If even possible his head turned even redder. He couldn’t look Chan into the eyes.
“Oh,” Chan was surprised.
“I just…,” Jisung started, “I never…,” he paused again and took a deep breath, “I don’t know how. I mean, I know HOW, but…I – I’m just scared, ok? What if they hurt?” He sounded pretty devastated.
“You never had suppositories before?” Chan asked. Jisung slowly shook his head.
“They aren’t too bad, yeah? I once got one as a child, I don’t remember that it hurt. It might feel a little weird, but it really shouldn’t hurt.” Chan tried reassure him. But Han still looked rather sceptical.
“Don’t you think it’s worth a try? You’re clearly looking unwell. It’s better than keep puking, right?”
“I – Yeah – but…” Han squirmed. “Will you help me please, Hyung?” He blurted without thinking. ‘Nonono, what have I done?!’ he thought as he realized what he just said. His Hyung surely must be grossed out by this, he thought.
And indeed, for a fraction of a second Chan looked taken aback, but then he smiled gently. “I can do that, if you really want me to.”
Han hesitated for a brief moment, deliberating his request, but then nodded. “Please…” he whispered. He knew he needed the medicine, but he also knew that he couldn’t do it himself. And Chan seemed to genuinely didn't mind.
“Okay. Do you have them with you right now?” Chan asked.
Han nodded again.
“Then let us find somewhere private.”
The gas station had a restroom for customers. It smelt rather stale and the smell alone had Han gagging again.
They squeezed themselves in a cubicle, there was just enough space for the two of them. Jisung rummaged in his bag to find the box with the medicaments. He handed it to his leader, who pulled out the blister, ripped off one of the suppositories and removed it from its wrapper.
He held the medicament between his thumb and index finger. It was a bit bigger than he’d assumed it would be, but it wasn’t exorbitant big either. He kind of understood why his Dongsaeng felt nervous about taking it. But he didn’t let it show.
“Are you absolutely sure you want me to do it?” Chan made sure.
Han could only nod at that, he couldn’t look his Hyung into the eyes and held his gaze firmly to the ground.
Chan took a deep breath. “Okay, then please turn around and pull down you pants.”
And Jisung did just that. He bared his butt and leaned over the toilet seat; his eyes shut close. He didn’t mind being naked in front of his members, they’ve seen each other naked often enough to not mind anymore, but this was something entirely else. Baring his butt for his Hyung to get a suppository inserted was mortifying.
“Just relax, it’ll be over soon,” Chan said. Han could feel the warm hands of his Hyung at his bum, gently spreading his buttocks. And soon afterwards he felt the cool suppository at his rim. Chan wasted no time and gently inserted the suppository. Chan was right, it didn’t hurt, but it did feel a bit uncomfortable. There was first a light pressure in his anus and then a slight tweak as the suppository slipped into his rectum. Jisung whimpered. He hated it so much.
The whole ordeal was over in no time. As soon as the medicament was inserted, Chan quickly pulled up the trousers of his Dongsaeng and patted his back soothingly.
“Alright, that’s it, all done now,” he said. “You were very brave!” The other boy stayed silent.
Chan understood that the other would need a moment for himself. He didn’t return the box to Jisung, instead he put it in his own pocket and left the cabin to wash his hands in the sink. But he stayed in the bathroom, fully ready to comfort the younger if needed.
Jisung stayed in the cubicle for a bit longer. He needed a few moments to process what just happened and to collect himself, as a lot of different emotions washed over him. He felt sorry, relieved, ashamed, embarrassed and thankful, all at once.
He took some deep breaths and blinked the tears in his eyes away. ‘Pathetic,’ he thought to himself. ‘Now look what you made your Hyung do, just because you were so childishly scared.’ To be honest, the insertion had been quite uncomfortable, and he could still feel the melted remains of the medicament inside his bottom, but it hadn’t half as bad as he had feared it to be. All the worse that he had to ask his Hyung to do it for him! ‘What does he think of me now?’ Jisung thought. His anxiety rose at the thought that his Hyung could think any less of him now.
‘No, Chan Hyung was fine doing it. It was okay asking him and he accepted it. He could have said no, but he didn’t. He doesn’t look down on me because of this’ he told himself over and over again; gradually calming down.
Eventually he gathered himself enough to leave the cabin. He wiped his eyes one last time to make sure there were no tears left and took a deep, calming breath. As he stepped out of the cubicle, he saw that Chan was waiting for him. Jisung couldn’t look at him. he still felt way too embarrassed for that.
Wordlessly Chan hugged him tight. At first Han went rigid, but then he relaxed into the hug and clung to his Hyung like his life depended on it. “How are you doing? Are you alright?” Chan asked.
“Mm-hm, yeah…” Han murmured. “Please don’t tell anyone about this,” he pleaded.
“Of course not!” Chan reassured.
Together they walked back to the car where the others were still waiting for them.
“How are you?” Sungmin asked worriedly. “Do you feel any better now?”
“Yeah, I’m ok. Sorry for holding up”
“Ah, don’t worry. We’ll catch up to the others in no time,” Changbin said with a wink. “Do you need to rest a bit more?”
“No, Hyung, I’m good to go.”
After this the rest of the day went really well. Han took another nap in the car and when he woke up, he actually felt a lot better. There were no more unplanned incidents. And the half hour they lost didn’t cause any trouble for them.
When they finally arrived at their last location for the day - a pretty luxurious holiday apartment where they would spend the night - the other were already waiting nervously. They all wanted to know how Han’s doing, whether he felt better and what they could do to make things for him more comfortable.
As soon as he stepped out of the car Felix, Hyunjin and Jeongin swarmed him.
“Are you ok?”
“Do you feel better now?”
“Do you need anything?”
They asked all at once.
“I’m okay, I’m okay. Don’t worry,” Han laughed. It was nice to know that the others cared for him. He did know that of course, but Han always enjoyed a little more attention from his members.
Jeongin was quick to get Han’s bag from the trunk of the car and Felix helped him to move into his room. They made sure that their unwell friend wouldn’t strain himself too much.
In the evening, they had a big barbeque. They grilled lots and lots of meat but also some veggies and mushrooms. It was a real feast. Han dug in. he was hungry! Everything he has eaten throughout the day found its way back out during their unplanned stop and he didn’t dare to eat anything afterwards. Everyone was pleased to see him like this. Finally, he was back to his old cheerful self and he freely joked around with the others and shamelessly flirted with Minho. Who in return vigorously flirted back. To an extend that poor Jeongin’s ears tuned a bright pink.
All in all, it was a very successful evening for a not-so-great day. They all agreed that Jisung was exempt from cleaning up and washing the dishes for today and he took the opportunity to go to bed early.
The next morning in a quiet moment, just before they wanted to continue their trip, Chan approached Han. “We’ll leave in a few minutes. You should take your medicine now before we hit the road again,” he said. Jisung frowned. He wasn’t really fond of the idea of another suppository. As if Chan could read his mind, he said “A suppository now is better than to puke again today, isn’t it?”
And of course, he was right. But Jisung wouldn’t give in so easily. “But Hyung,” he pleaded, “Maybe today won’t be so bad”
“Do you really want to risk it? Was the suppository so bad that you rather want to feel sick all day long?”
Han shook his head. Of course not.
“Do you want to try and insert it yourself?” Chan asked.
For a moment Jisung looked like he wanted to say no, but then he nodded slowly.
Chan handed him the medicament. “You’ve got this! No need to be scared, yeah?” The younger Rapper frowned but took the box and made his way towards the bathroom. The only place where no cameras would follow him and a door that could be locked, so the chance that one of his members walked in on him was zero.
Jisung was nervous, his hands were shaking. It took a few tries, but eventually he managed to free the suppository from its wrapper. He held it in his hand and looked at it intensely. It didn’t look so big in his hand. He could have sworn that the one Chan inserted yesterday felt much, much bigger.
‘Damn it!’ He thought. ‘Don’t be such a baby. You can do it’ he gave himself a little pep talk. He took a deep breath and pushed down his trousers, just beneath his buttocks.
He reached back with one hand to spread his cheeks, with the other he pressed the suppository against his hole, but he didn’t insert it. He simply couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Pretty frustrated he let out a loud groan. ‘Stupid’ he thought. ‘It wasn’t too bad yesterday, why can’t you do it now?’ He kept cursing internally to himself, but he couldn’t summon up enough courage to actually push the little bullet in.
He held it in this place for so long that it actually started to melt in his fingers and against his rim. What once was a hard pellet was now nothing more than a greasy blob. “Ah, shit!”
He disposed the remaining’s of the medicament in the toilet and washed his hands. Chan was right, he couldn’t go another day without medicine. He needed it to get through with the day.
In the end, Han accepted his defeat and decided to ask his Hyung for help once again.
After a few minutes he emerged from the bathroom. He didn’t have to go looking for his Hyung, Chan had followed him to the bathroom and waited just outside the door. He smiled at Jisung expectantly, hoping for a little nod or thumbs up. But that’s not what he got. Han’s face blushed red, his eyes downcast. “I – I can’t…Could you do it again please?” he asked sheepishly.
“Of course,” Chan said softly with the same warm and understanding smile he had the day before. “You are really brave to ask for help, I am very proud of you.”
Han didn’t know how to response. He just shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t feel brave at all. For the second time he had to ask his Hyung to do such a shameful thing for him. What’s there to be proud of?
Chan laid his arm around the shoulders of the younger and guided him back inside the bathroom.
“Let’s get over with it then.” He said as he locked the door behind them.
It wasn’t even the matter of a minute and the medicament was inserted. Han bared his butt and bend forward a bit. He felt a little pressure at his hole followed by a light twinge and before he knew it, the suppository sat snug inside his rectum. He clenched down on it and immediately begun to melt. Again, Jisung couldn’t help but whimper a little.
“All done. You good?”
Han just nodded.
“The effect should last long enough that you only need this one, but in case you start to feel sick again we can always insert another one, yeah?” Chan said while washing his hands.
Han just nodded again. He really hoped he wouldn’t need another one for today. This one was already too much.
And luckily, he really didn’t. the second day of the road trip went smoothly and he was actually able to enjoy the activities the staff had planned for them on their way. No nausea, no headache, no dizziness stopped him from having fun. It was enough to push all the inconveniences of the morning to the back of his mind. He went on with his day carefree and didn't waste another thought on the pesky suppository.
Later that evening they arrived at their accommodation for the night: Again, a well-appointed holiday apartment. It even had an indoor pool and the basement had an air hockey table, a dartboard and a karaoke machine. Perfect for a fun game night.
After another large-scale barbecue (this time Han volunteered in cleaning up afterwards) the members used their free time to relax, play games or sing songs at the Karaoke machine. They were all pretty busy and focused on their games, no one noticed that Chan disappeared for a while.
Early in the morning of their last day of the road trip, Han warily approached Chan.
"I - uh," he paused, "Could you help me again, Hyung?"
Chan, who seemed to be waiting for him already, simply said "No".
"No?!" Han asked I disbelief, his eyes wide open, as well as his mouth. ‘Why?’ He thought. Why would his Hyung betray him like this?
"But...but," he was in a loss for words. He felt his anxiety rise. His heart raced; his breath hitched. Nononono, what should he do? What should he do?!
Chan must have sensed the trouble of the younger rapper and he was quick to de-escalate the situation.
"Hey, it's alright. I won't help you because you won't need my help," he said. Han blinked confused.
The older took something out of his pocket and handed it to Jisung. "Here, I went to the pharmacy yesterday evening and got you this." While he spoke, he shook the object in his hand. It rattled. It rattled? Jisung looked up. What his Hyung was presenting him was a bottle of pills. “I’m sorry I scared you!”
Immediately Jisung’s face lit up. A wave of gratefulness washed over him. He couldn’t stop from tearing up, but it was happy tears this time. No more suppositories for him.
"Oh, thank you, Hyung! Thank you so much!" He sobbed as he slung his arms around Chan’s neck.
The older one laughed and held him tight. His plan worked out. He knew that Jisung would be happy about the pills, he just didn't expect him to react this strong. He was glad that Han was so ecstatic about his surprise.
“You’re the best, Channie Hyung!” Han blubbered.
“I know, I know” Chan teased. “Are you ready for one last car ride?”
“Thanks to you!” Han beamed and happily shook the bottle of pills. The rattle of the tablets was like music to his ears.
Thanks to Chan (the best leader and Hyung Han could imagine) the third and final day of their little road trip went even better than the previous one. All eight Stay Kids had a great time together.
And after this trip, Jisung made sure that he’d never run out of motion sickness pills ever again.