Rather Rot Alone

by AhsokaJackson

Summary:

Topic-wise, this piece was inspired by a Batman fanfic, but requires no prior knowledge of the story or fandom to read, and does not specifically refer to any one character.

It's written from the perspective of a young woman or man who has been a victim of familial abuse and/or neglect, and expresses wishes to faithful loved ones regarding his or her final (or maybe NOT so final…) resting place, alongside fond reassurances to ease the grief.

Notes:

• Inspired by o bury me not on the lone prairie by wesslan
• Inspired by Learning an 800 year old style of singing by MALINDA

Hey, y'all. Salaam/Shalom! I was originally planning to post a one-shot today, but too much other stuff has been cropping up over the past months and I've barely had enough time for Perfectly Imperfect, let alone the one-shot.

But I still had a really strong desire to post something today. This poem/song ended up being the best option, as it was nearly finished already. I wrote the bulk of it back in March—in less than an hour total, I think, which felt shockingly fast for me—after I ended up getting an alert to wesslan's story while in the middle of watching Malinda's video about sean nós^{[old style / old custom]}singing.

As far as memory serves me, I still haven't listened to the song that inspired the Batman fic itself—I've been deliberately avoiding it, as I wanted to be completely sure that any similarities would be coincidental. It'll be intriguing to see how different or similar things are, now that I'm finished and can free myself to check it out. In any case, it was simply the title itself, along with the content of the story, that provided the inspiration for the words. And I had a blend of melodies in the back of my head from Malinda's video plus my own imagination, so it was easy enough to get a sense of the rhythm I was working to for the song/poem.

One funny thing is that I'm pretty sure I had a slow pace in mind when first writing this, but when I returned to it, I ended up with an incongruously fast and upbeat tempo instead, but it still worked as I did my final edits and additions. It ended up feeling less mournful and more like a thumping sea shanty. And you know what? I like that flexibility! I think it works nicely both ways.

When my last breaths leave
And my chest falls still
And my skin turns cold and gray

 

When my laughter ends
And my fingers curl
And I've walked through my last day

 

I ask not for your sorrows
No redding of face or eye
I only have my one request
When you choose my place to lie

 

Bury me not in that shadowy glen
Our surnames carved in stone
Bury me not near kith and kin
For I'd rather rot my way alone

 

When the last song's sung
My flesh turned to dust
My possessions wrapped and stored

 

When you have of me
Only memories
And I come home to my Lord

 

I ask not for your sorrows
No redding of face or eye
I still have but my one request
When you choose my place to lie

 

Bury me not in that shadowy glen
Our surnames carved in stone
Bury me not near kith and kin
For I'd rather rot my way alone

 

It matters not, the years I've had
From each one I've had my fill
Though they may seem too few to you
They've all glad stuffed me to the gill

 

I've learned to live and I've learned it well
Now I'll guard you till your turn
Let joyful memories be the pyre
Where grief's desolation burns

 

I ask not for your sorrows
No redding of face or eye
No, I ask not for your sorrows
As you choose my place to lie

 

Give me the ocean, a pauper's grave, a gold tomb, a glen unnamed
Scatter me away to the corners of the wind
Or find me a field laid plain

 

The body's desolation may proceed in isolation, if a lone grave you'd rather hew
Or I can find my rest next to you and yours
A family formed anew

 

But do not demand that I lie in repose
With those who desecrate home
Who while my blood still beat in my bones
Yet left me to rot alone!

 

Let me stand in death as I did in life:
Untouched by those Love left unknown
This is now their lot with travails they wrought
So let them rot alone

 

Yes, let them rot alone

 

My next life begins and all pretense ends
Now let them rot alone!

© Copyright 2023 by Ahsoka Jackson

Notes:

I hope you guys enjoyed this piece! I must say, the timing now feels extra appropriate after finding out about Bruce's latest fvckery in the comics. We basically now have an incident right up there with the Batarang Incident and the RHATO #25 Beating.

Found out about it via the genfic residuum, by knave_of_swords, which I def recommend, and while you'll probably need to read some additional surrounding volumes, Batman (2016) #138, Catwoman (2018) #58, and Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War: Red Hood #2 are where you can start if you want to check out the canon events.

Poetry and songwriting are even more taxing for me than fiction writing is (not only production but also consumption, believe it or not!), so although they're important to me, I only do them on occasion. I'm glad to have had this largely written already, that's for sure—trying at the drop of a hat would've been quite stressful! And it was already a very fitting piece for Jason Todd as well as Tim Drake, given the situation with Jason's bio mother.

In any case, hopefully I will see you all back here in November for Chapter 2 of Perfectly Imperfect—"Thread Assessment." It will most likely be my final release of the year. It's also what will take me properly over the 200k-word threshold for my writing on AO3! Even amidst the many struggles, the blessings have kept coming, as well—that's for darned sure.

May 2024 be as rich, or better still, for us all. Much love!