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It was late on a friday night and Rin found himself in a small pub, drinking alone. This was not something he did often, as an athlete he needed to keep in peak physical fitness and alcohol consumption was not the right way to achieve that. Since it was the off-season Rin figured that one night was fine.
The pub was relatively quiet but Rin was glad about this, he was feeling particularly nostalgic tonight so the reserved atmosphere suited his mood. Staring at the bottom of his glass, Rin thought about his high school days, or more specifically, his best friend.
Sousuke had disappeared after graduation and Rin had not had any contact with him for six years now.
When he had transferred to Samezuka in their third year, Rin had thought that they would not lose contact again. But he had moved back to Australia for university and Sousuke had gone. Rin had tried to get in contact, he had called and texted, and when that hadn’t worked he had asked Sousuke’s parents what was going on. They had only told him that Sousuke was away.
Sometimes Rin thought that this was Sousuke getting his own back for when Rin broke contact with him the first time he went to Australia, but that was stupid. He wouldn’t do that. He promised.
Rin sighed and ordered another jack and coke. It was no use thinking about this again, it only served to make him upset. He really missed Sousuke. It wasn’t like he didn’t have other friends, but it wasn’t the same.
‘Have we met? You look familiar.’ A man sat down at the bar next to Rin. He didn’t recognise him.
‘I don’t think so,’ replied Rin, who wasn’t in the mood for talking.
‘I’ve definitely seen you somewhere before, that red hair really stands out!’ The man said, cheerily, not picking up on Rin’s surly mood. Rin decided to put the man out of his misery in the hopes that he would leave once he knew.
‘Maybe you’ve seen me on TV? I swam in the Olympics.’
The man’s eyes widened in recognition and his jaw dropped.
‘Oh my gosh, you’re Matsuoka Rin!’
Unluckily for Rin, the man did not leave but proceeded to introduce himself and order two more drinks. He gave one to Rin and began asking him about his career. Rin sighed and humoured him, at least he got a drink out of it.
-
Three drinks later and Rin was definitely drunk, and still talking to the man whose name he had forgotten as soon as it was given. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol but the man was quite attractive, he was pretty built and the way he kept pushing his curly hair out of his face was really cute. But as Rin was still deciding whether to make a move or not, he felt someone else’s hand on his shoulder.
‘Rin?’ said the newcomer.
Rin swivelled around on his stool, unsteadily. He looked at this new man, who apparently knew him. The fog from the alcohol caused recognition to take longer to set in but once he realised who this was, Rin was sure he was dreaming.
‘Sousuke?!’ He asked, shocked, half believing that the alcohol was making him hallucinate.
‘It’s good to see you again,’ Sousuke said, and smiled. Rin’s brain was working slower than usual and all he could do was gape at the man who had just so suddenly reappeared into his life. He looked almost exactly how he remembered him, maybe he was more tanned, and had he grown even taller?
‘Who’s this?’ asked the curly-haired man, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Rin was still incapable of speech so Sousuke answered.
‘I’m an old friend of Rin’s, and you are?’ His voice was dangerous and he grabbed the man’s hand and shook it. This seemed to intimidate the man and he slunk away, to Sousuke’s satisfaction.
Rin found his voice.
‘Oi, Sousuke. What if that was my boyfriend you just scared off?’
‘Was it?’
‘...No.’
‘Then it’s fine, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, I guess so.’
They so easily slipped back into talking that it would have been easy to forget that they hadn’t seen each other for six years. But Rin wanted answers.
“I’ll be waiting for you to come back,” he had said. Then they had promised to keep in touch, they didn’t want to lose each other again so soon after reuniting. He hadn’t expected Sousuke to just disappear.
Rin was hit by sudden rage at his so-called best friend.
‘Where the fuck have you been?’ He felt almost completely sober now. ‘Why did you cut me out of your life, I thought we were better than that?’
The hurt that he had bottled up for six years broke free. Rin was aware that he was shouting but he couldn't stop it, and he could feel tears threatening to fall.
‘I’m sorry. It hurts doesn’t it?’
‘Don’t give me that,’ snapped Rin. ‘I was a child, you were old enough to know better.’
Sousuke sighed. ‘I know, Rin. I really am sorry. I just… What you said that day, about not crushing my potential, I tried to heal it but... I didn’t want to hold you back while I was recovering.’
‘That’s… stupid,’ muttered Rin, eyes fixed firmly on the bar.
‘I know.’ Sousuke smiled sadly. ‘I couldn’t reach your level, Rin, and after everything you’d said I was too embarrassed to see you. So I went travelling, saw the world. And I found what I wanted to do. But it had been too long and I couldn’t face you, at least not until I had achieved my new goal.’
Rin’s shoulders sagged. He had known that it was unlikely that Sousuke’s shoulder would allow him to swim professionally but he had still held out hope. At every competition he attended, he would look out for Sousuke, just in case.
‘But you found something else?’
‘Yeah. I trained as a Sports therapist. I wanted to help other people like me. I finished the course a few months ago and just got my first job around here.’
‘That’s...that’s great, Sousuke!’ Rin was genuinely happy for his friend, and Sousuke’s face lit up.
‘Yeah. I’m really...I’m happy.’
‘But...?’
‘I really missed you, Rin.’
‘I missed you too you idiot,’ he said, pulling Sousuke into a hug. The feel of Sousuke’s arms around him finally set him off crying.
‘Don’t you dare leave me again,’ he sobbed.
‘I won't, Rin. I mean it this time. We’ve already spent too long apart.’
-
Rin woke up the next morning with the light shining in his eyes. This aggravated the pounding headache that he was currently experiencing and he rolled over, trying to escape the sunshine. He couldn’t remember how he got here, the last thing he remembered was being at a bar with someone.
Rin groaned and sat up, willing himself not to be sick. He needed some water and an aspirin. He made to get off his bed but found that there was a wall there. What?
He looked around the room and found that he did not recognise it. Shit. It was a decently sized room and looked like it belonged to a man. This wasn’t the first time he had been in this predicament but it didn’t happen often and it was always awkward. Rin smelled bacon being cooked somewhere and debated between going and confronting the person or waiting in the room. Before he could decide, he heard footsteps in the corridor and braced himself.
The last person he expected to see walked through the door and last night’s memories came crashing back.
‘Morning, Rin. How’s the head?’ asked Sousuke. He was carrying a glass of water.
‘Uhh, not good,’ admitted Rin, accepting the water and the tablets that Sousuke handed to him. ‘Why am I at your place?’ He asked, suspiciously.
‘You got too drunk to tell me where you lived so I had to bring you back here,’ laughed Sousuke. ‘Honestly, Rin, what did you think happened?’ he teased.
Rin turned away, grumpily. He was too hungover for this right now. He swallowed the aspirin and lay back down, facing the wall.
‘I’m going back to sleep, you asshole.’
‘Wow, Rin. Do you treat all your conquests like this?’
‘Stop laughing, you dick!’
-
After a few more hours sleep, Rin’s hangover was much better. He wrapped himself in the bedsheets and found his way to the living room, stopping off at the bathroom on the way to freshen up.
‘Hey, Sleeping Beauty. I was worried I’d have to come kiss you awake if you slept any longer,’ smirked Sousuke.
‘Oh please, you’d have loved it.’
‘Yeah.’
‘What?’ Had Rin’s ears deceived him?
‘What?’ repeated Sousuke, putting on an innocent face. Rin frowned and sat down next to him on the sofa. The TV was showing a nature documentary but Sousuke turned the volume down.
‘Feeling better now?’ Rin nodded and rested his head against Sousuke’s shoulder, he still felt tired. Sousuke put his arm loosely around Rin and turned his attention back to the TV.
Rin marvelled at how easy things were between them. He felt like he had turned back into his seventeen-year-old self. In reality, he knew things were different. People could change a lot in six years. But they had managed to rekindle their friendship before, he thought, thinking about their five year gap in school. Somehow they always made their way back to each other. Rin looked forward to learning about Sousuke again, and hoped that he felt the same way.
He sighed contentedly and fell asleep, listening to Sousuke breathe.
-
‘...and Haru, you will never guess who I bumped into!’ exclaimed Rin.
‘Was it Sousuke?’
‘It was Sousuke! Oh. How the hell did you guess?!’
Haru shrugged and sipped his tea. They were sat in a coffee shop just down the road from Rin’s apartment. They usually tried to meet up once a week but Makoto hadn’t been able to make it today as he had a swim class to teach, so it was just Rin and Haru. It had been three days since his reunion with his old friend and Rin was still buzzed about it. He had a shiny new contact in his phone and they were texting almost non-stop. Six years were a lot to catch up on but they were doing well so far.
‘Well, I still can’t believe he’s really back. I missed him so much, you know?’
Haru did know. He was the one who had to deal with it whenever Rin got upset about it, which was a lot during the first couple of years of Sousuke’s absence.
‘Plus, he got super hot,’ Rin added sheepishly.
‘You said that last time.’
‘He’s got hotter! Like, he looks so mature now.’
Haru didn’t want to know.
‘Just...don’t get hurt again,’ Haru cautioned. Rin may not have realised it himself, but Haru knew that last time Rin had had feelings for Sousuke, and it had almost broken him when he left.
‘Huh? What are you talking about?’ asked Rin. Haru sighed. Why did he bother?
As he listened to Rin talking about Sousuke, Haru could tell that his crush had come back in full force. Haru would have to consult Makoto on this, he wasn’t very good at love advice.
-
It doesn’t hit Rin until Sousuke has been back for two months.
When he finally realises that he’s in love with Sousuke it’s at an inopportune moment. It was 2 am and, due to his lack of futons, the two were sharing Rin's king-sized bed; neither of them had a problem with it when they first got in.
However, after Rin had spent an hour just watching Sousuke sleep he realised that maybe there was a problem and also that he was being super creepy. He couldn’t help it, Sousuke just looked so peaceful. It took everything Rin had to stop himself reaching out and touching his face.
Rin started panicking. He couldn’t, in good conscience, sleep in the same bed as his best friend who didn’t know he was in love with him. He always knew Sousuke was hot, but he didn’t realise that he wanted to act on it! He sat up and grabbed his phone.
Me: Haru!!! I’m in love with Sousuke!!!
Rin wasn’t really expecting a reply at this time of night but he couldn’t help himself, he needed to tell someone. He chewed on his thumbs. What should he do? He’d not manage to get to sleep beside Sousuke now, and what if he did sleep but woke up hugging Sousuke, or with a boner!
His phone buzzed, making him jump and almost drop it. He looked over to check that Sousuke was still asleep, before opening the text.
Water boy: u woke me up to tell me that?
Goddamn Haru, why hadn’t Rin texted Makoto or someone else?
Me: What do I do?? He’s my best friend??
Water boy: fuck him
Me: HARU PLEASE
Me: He is in bed RIGHT NEXT TO ME what do I do Haru help me
Water boy: just go to sleep
Me: HOW CAN I SLEEP IN THE SAME BED ??
Water boy: shut ur eyes
Rin did his best not to scream.
Me: FFFFFFFFFFFF please idk what to do
Water boy: Hi Rin, it’s Makoto. I’m glad you’ve finally realised your feelings for Sousuke :) Have you thought about sleeping on the sofa?
Rin facepalmed. Why could he have not thought of that himself? Why had he not thought of that before they had decided to share the bed? Why had Sousuke not thought of that?
He sighed.
Me: Thanks Makoto. Haru, you’re a dick.
Rin looked over at Sousuke one last time before he got out of bed. He looked younger when he was asleep. He was breathing slowly and slightly snoring, Rin thought it was cute.
Before he could stop himself, he reached over and brushed Sousuke’s hair away from his forehead. It was much softer than he expected. Despite his panic before, now Rin wanted to stay. But he shouldn’t.
He got up quietly, trying not to jostle Sousuke too much, and padded out of the room.
-
It took a month and lots of nagging from Haru and Makoto before Rin was brave enough to tell Sousuke how he felt. He planned out various scenarios of how he could confess but in the end, he didn’t use any of them.
It happened one lazy weekend afternoon. They were hanging out in front of Sousuke’s TV. Rin was curled up on the sofa, leaning against Sousuke. He wasn’t sure what show they were watching since he was too busy trying not to stare at his friend. Rin tried to distract himself by playing with his hair. At least then his hands were busy and weren’t going to betray him by touching Sousuke. Rin could feel him laughing at the program.
‘See that Rin? Maybe it’s a good thing that you cry all the time.’ Sousuke teased, in response to something that had happened on the TV. Rin didn’t get it, but opened his mouth to retort.
‘I love you.’
What.
What did he just say.
That was not what he wanted to say!
‘Uhh, I mean...’ Rin trailed off, and his face began to burn. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Sousuke and carefully tried to extract himself from under Sousuke’s arm. He could feel tears prickling in his eyes. This was not meant to happen. What if Sousuke didn’t feel the same and thought he was weird? What if this broke them apart for another six years? Why hadn’t Sousuke said anything yet?
He snuck a glance at Sousuke. He was looking right at Rin and was smiling. He brought his hand up and cupped Rin’s face.
‘Took you long enough.’