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Nico had always known how he looked to other people: angry, suspicious, dangerous, a son of Hades. He likes to think himself impervious to the stares behind his back or people’s uneasiness whenever he decides to stick around longer than an hour, but he isn’t. He still finds himself shrinking away sometimes before he catches himself or finding it difficult to meet their gazes head-on. It’s better now, and the more he asserts himself, the more he finds himself just a little more settled.
After the Titan war, he decided he wanted to live a happier life. He will, somehow, despite the distrustful eyes aimed directly at him or the averted, uneasy eyes flitting away from him depending on how they thought they could match up to him.
Sometimes, he wished for his sister back when it was just them two against the world, and that was okay because he didn’t need anyone else if she was around. A smaller part of him, the ten-year-old child he was never able to kill, rejected that. Bianca had left him the first chance she got without even consulting with him first.
At the thought of his sister, another person came to mind. The one who he believed for years was responsible for her death. Now he knows better, and it took some time to remove the idea of his dead sister every time he thought of Percy. But he did it, and now all he can see is the boy who was forced to grow up too fast and the one who tried to promise him something he could never keep to make him feel better.
Now, all he can see is the boy who gave him an apology a week after the war with Kronos.
“I wanted to apologize to you, Nico. You were trying to balance your responsibility to your father with me, and my getting locked up wasn’t your fault. I didn’t realize that until now, and I wanted to say I’m sorry.” His green eyes seemed remorseful enough that Nico would have believed him, if he could ever get past the shock of being apologized to.
“Thank you, and I’m sorry too.” I’m sorry for blaming you. I’m sorry for asking that of you. I’m sorry you had to deal with me. Because there really isn’t anything left for them to say to each other.
And that was the end of that. Percy still stuck around sometimes, whether out of obligation or desire to be there, and that’s more than he thought he could have. No matter how much hope clawed at his heart, he took the apology at face value and nothing else. He wouldn’t expect anything from him except cool indifference to one another.
Maybe if he kept repeating it, it’ll come true.
–
Percy’s outburst was unexpected but Hazel couldn’t think of a better person backing her up on this.
“You don’t have to wonder if you can trust Nico. You can, end of discussion.” His green eyes were fiery, aimed at Jason and Leo, who were surprised but didn’t back down from their position yet.
“Listen, all I’m saying is the guy is shady. He goes between camps and doesn’t tell anyone. Who knows what his plans were?” Leo questions, while Jason nods, his eyes matching Percy’s.
“I don’t believe this! He’s my brother, and now you guys are questioning whether or not we should save him!” Hazel jumps in quickly, shoulder-to-shoulder with Percy.
“This isn’t up for debate. I know we can trust him; he has no reason to switch sides and has never been inclined to do so. Just because you don’t know why he did something doesn’t automatically make him suspicious.” Percy continues.
“That’s what everyone says, but it’s not wrong for us to be a little cautious, we don’t know where his loyalties lie. We could end up paying for this!” Jason defended.
“You… the great Jason Grace… the praetor I admired. You were supposed to be so fair, such a good leader. And now you can’t even see an ally for what he is and want us to leave him, my brother , for dead.” Hurt and betrayed, Hazel huffs and stomps out of Festus’s mess hall.
“Hazel!” Piper calls out from behind her. “That was cold…” is the last she hears before turning the corner, conflicted against everyone except the one man who looked out for her brother.
–
“Who goes for mint chocolate anyway? I bring you out for some ice cream, my treat and you ignore the limited edition cookies and milk flavor, the donut ice cream, and head straight to mint chocolate.” Nico teases, bringing up his own spoonful of chocolate peanut butter ice cream to his mouth.
Hazel only laughs, eating her own abomination. “Maybe I just like it. And they always give you extra when you ask for mint chocolate. See?” She tilts her cup, showing it was definitely stacked higher than his.
“That’s because they’re desperate to get rid of it.” Nico snorted. Hazel’s presence always made him feel lighter. The children of death would always stick together.
“You know, Piper invited us all to one of her dad’s penthouses in New York to, and I quote, ‘celebrate surviving. ‘Her dad hasn’t been in that house in years.’ You should come along.” Hazel smiled, but Nico’s smile dimmed at that.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Hazel. I think I’ll just bring down the mood.” Nico grimaced. At his words, Hazel got a pretty crossed look on her face, but it didn’t seem to be aimed at him specifically.
“You don’t bring down the mood, it’s other people who do. And anyway, Percy asked to remind you. They want you to come and you should.”
He gave her a blank look, which only made her look more determined. “Hazel, I know they don’t trust me. You don’t have to invite me out of pity. I’m fine, I don’t even want to go.”
“They may not have trusted you before but they do now, especially after the verbal lashing Percy and I gave them.” Hazel looked particularly pleased at that. “So you should come with us and have a little fun and see that they really don’t have a problem.”
Nico was already set on not going even if they did have a change of heart, what with Jason being told by Eros one of his deepest secrets and the awkward air every time he met Leo after his death stunt. But hearing that Percy had defended him even when he wasn’t there made him feel a bit giddy inside. The empty apology he thought he was given turned out to have substance behind it.
Annoyingly, he could feel his face heating up. He really thought he’d gotten over this, made a whole big confession of his past affections and how Percy wasn’t his type anymore. Refusing to acknowledge the building fondness and slight hero-worship he used to harbor, he cleared his throat.
“That is–well, nice.” He said, a bit lamely. “I just mean that it was unexpected but not… unwelcome.” Nodding, he continued. “I just didn’t think he would care.”
She gave him a small smile. “Percy always cares, Nico. He’s kind like that.” Nico nodded back, avoiding eye contact. If there was anything that could describe Percy, it would be kind. Maybe not nice because he is from New York, but, kind is a good word for him.
Hazel must have sensed how unprepared he was for that admission and rushed her sentence, leaving no room for argument: “So you’re coming? Great! I’ll pick you up on Tuesday at 6.”
She quickly got up and left, his sputtering and half-hearted denials behind her, but when he caught up to her to finish off their evening, he didn’t bring the subject back up.
–
The get-together, if it could even be called that with how many people Piper invited, went surprisingly well. It was only a little awkward in the beginning, which was more than he could really ask for because he was expecting the whole thing to be tremendously uncomfortable.
The Seven were all there and he got the pleasure of seeing Annabeth face off against Leo in beer pong. (Spoiler: Annabeth won.) And after a particularly sharp look Percy shot Leo, any awkwardness between them, whether it was from past uneasiness or the fact that Leo cheated death (whatever, it was cool, Nico was over it now. Mostly), they actually got along pretty well, with Nico’s quick-witted mind matching pretty well with how quickly Leo changed subjects.
Of course, that didn’t mean everyone else was just as welcoming. Still, even though most people in the world were uneasy around him, none of that mattered in the house.
Despite Hazels’, and now Percy’s, combined efforts to ‘get Nico out there,’ whatever that meant, the camps weren’t all too eager to get chummy with him.
Even though he had been a critical player in the war against the Giants, most still seemed distrustful of him, thinking he was only on the side of the demigods because it was the side that ended up winning, and would have easily switched if it weren’t the case. Others distrust him for his father, not trusting the god of the underworld to have any sense of “higher morals.”
He can’t deny that there was still a part of him that desired their acceptance, but it’s becoming a wound that’s healed over whose scab gets picked at sometimes.
Still, he usually left anytime he didn’t feel like putting up with it, rather than just toughing it out like he always wanted to.
He was just thinking of doing that, skipping out on dinner and heading to Chili’s or something instead, when he felt a strong hand grab his shoulder and manhandle him close to their chest. Sea salt and fresh wood hit his nose and he immediately knew who it was.
“How about you come eat with me today, Neeks?” He still hated that repugnant nickname, but his protests would fall on deaf ears anyway.
With Percy’s arm still around his shoulders, he felt his throat close up before he cleared out whatever unsung emotions were lodged in there and voiced out a complaint. “Wouldn’t your father smite me just for sitting down at your table? I think I’ll just leave for today.”
He tried leaving his hold, but Percy’s hand tightened as he shrugged. “Dad’s not gonna care if that’s what you’re worried about. He can start paying back his long-overdue child support payments by letting me eat with you at our table.”
Percy’s eyes looked down on him suddenly, with an eyebrow raised. “But if you really want to leave I won’t stop you. If you want to eat here though, with me, I’d like that. Ignore everyone else.”
The other boy said that so easily as if Nico hadn’t been trying to ignore them for the past three, almost four, years. But somehow, like magic, he relaxed against Percy as they sat down on the benches of the Poseidon table and he really did ignore the eyes behind his back.
Percy’s presence only attracted more eyes, as it always does, and combined with Nico’s usual gaggle of audience, the whole camp seemed to be looking at them.
But with Percy aiming a bright smile at him once Nico actually got food on his plate, and wow, Percy’s dimples are deep, he finds it easy to let go of whatever responsibility he once felt for how other people view him. Falling headfirst into the same affection he felt for the boy next to him before his sister died and even after her death, he makes peace with this callus on his heart that’ll probably find a way to outlive his soul, and resolves to ignore everyone else who doesn’t accept him, if only for the boy next to him who wants nothing more than his companionship.