Chapter Text
Remus turned his collar up against the wind as he stepped out of the station and onto Church Road. Arriving at Richmond Station always made him a bit disoriented, there were always too many people bustling around and he had to push his way through the crowd and towards the opposite entrance to where everyone else was going.
There was a vicious wind today, a damp sort of coldness in the air and heavy grey skies as if it could start raining any moment (which it probably could, this was London in October after all). It was early, too early, and Remus shivered as he set off at a brisk pace, clutching a once-hot cup of coffee in his hand. He fiddled around against the wind a little before he managed to light a cigarette, his nerves settling slightly at the first drag.
He walked the now-familiar route towards his destination, a nervous sort of flutter in his chest. He wondered how long those nerves were going to be there for, if he would ever just get used to this. It didn’t feel like he ever would.
Too soon he turned onto the right street, unable not to pull a face at the sight of the giant houses lining the streets as he flicked away his cigarette butt. He felt misplaced in his too-thin jacket and cheap clothes. Not that anything he wore was ever dirty or torn, but in this neighbourhood he was simply wrong .
Everything about him was wrong; the fact that his boots were worn down, his coat second-hand, the scarf around his neck hand-knitted, his hair too long and not in a stylish way but more a haven’t-been-to-the-barber-in-a-while way. His limp was wrong. At least it was a good day and he had chosen to leave his cane at home, despite the walk, just because he hated how awkward people got around him when he used it.
He made his way up the driveway to the correct house, his fingers brushing over the giant door knocker in the shape of a dog, which looked more like a wolf, before he used it to knock.
It took unusually long before the door swung open, and to Remus' surprise he found himself standing face to face with none other than Sirius Black. Usually, the other man kept out of the way in the mornings, but apparently not this time.
Sirius somehow didn’t seem out of place in this posh street, even though Remus thought he should with his long hair and tattoos and his motorbike. He didn’t though, Sirius Black looked as if he was born to live on a street like this, in a house like this, and Remus figured he probably was.
“We’re running a bit late,” he grouched, barely even acknowledging Remus with a look before he turned around to make his way further into the house. “You better come in.”
Remus hovered a little awkwardly in the doorway before he did as he was told, pulling the heavy door closed behind him as he followed Sirius inside.
If Remus felt out of place on the street outside, it was nothing compared to how he felt inside Sirius’ house. It was massive, ridiculously large considering it was only two people living there. Remus knew nothing about art or decorating but he had a feeling most of the stuff on the walls, and the furniture, were expensive.
Sirius led him through the initial hallway, further along into the large kitchen at the back of the house. Even though Remus disliked almost everything else about this house, he did love the kitchen. It was light and airy, modern, and the wall facing the back garden was almost completely made out of glass with doors that easily slid open during the summer.
Remus would love to cook in here one day, all the appliances were state of the art and the surfaces shiny and spacious. It was a far cry from his own tiny kitchen in his tiny flat. Remus had picked up cooking a couple of years ago, and he frequently dreamed about moving to something bigger, somewhere he could really test his wings.
“Here,” Sirius said, shoving a mug into Remus’ hands as soon as he entered the kitchen. “You better sit down and wait.”
Remus did as he was told, ignoring the way the palms of his hands burnt as he breathed across the hot liquid. Milk but no honey, Remus noted as he took a sip from the tea. He could feel Sirius watching him from where he was leaning casually against the kitchen counter, his arms folded across his chest, and it took Remus everything not to squirm underneath his gaze.
The silence was heavy around them, and Remus felt an urge to do something about it. To speak, even though he had no idea what he was supposed to say. He swallowed thickly, distracting himself by drinking the scalding liquid too quickly, and he was grateful as Sirius pushed off the counter with a sigh.
He strode back into the hallway, and Remus could hear him as he leaned against the banister of the staircase leading upstairs.
“Edward, don’t make me come up there! Remus is here, you need to go, or you’ll be late.”
“I’m coming ,” sounded an annoyed voice from upstairs. “I can’t find my bag.”
“It’s already down here,” Sirius replied and Remus thought he heard a little strain in his voice. “I’m counting to ten.”
Sirius returned to the kitchen, his eyes snagging on Remus for a moment but he didn’t say anything, and moments later there was the thundering noise of footsteps on the stairs before Teddy appeared in the doorway. He was dressed in his school uniform, smart white shirt and dark trousers together with his blazer and tie, both dark blue with light blue stripes.
The boy’s hair was the same sandy shade as Remus’ had been at that age, his chin and nose a little pointy, eyes a dark brown. Remus never quite got used to seeing hints of himself as a boy peeking through as he looked at Teddy. He stood quickly to distract himself.
“I’m here ,” Teddy said, a sullen look on his face. “Headmistress McGonagall said she’d give me detention if I was late for assembly one more time this week.”
“You better hurry up then if you’re going to have time for your breakfast,” Sirius replied, unphased, as he handed him his bag. “Remember, I’m picking you up and then we’re going to Harry’s tonight for dinner.”
Teddy accepted the bag with a sulk, “Whatever.”
“Attitude,” Sirius warned, a sharp eyebrow raised as he held onto the bag until the boy flicked his gaze up to Sirius’ face, and Remus could see something passing between them before Teddy’s shoulders slumped.
“Sorry,” he muttered, allowing Sirius to pull him into a hug, and Remus saw his arms sneaking around Sirius’ waist.
“That’s alright,” Sirius promised him, gently nudging him to stand straight, brushing an affectionate hand through his hair. “Love you, sprog.”
“Love you too,” Teddy muttered, and Remus felt something needle in his chest, something he didn’t have the words for as the boy turned around to look at him. “We need to hurry.”
“Right,” Remus said, a little awkwardly as he set down his mostly empty mug. “Let’s go then.”
Teddy disappeared into the hallway without another word and Remus cleared his throat, glancing down at the mug.
“Thanks,” he said, then added, “for the tea.”
“Sure,” Sirius said, following Remus as he went after Teddy. “You probably should hurry; McGonagall isn’t joking when she threatens with detention and Teddy really needs to get some food into him before school.”
Remus bristled at the tone, the same tone Sirius always used when he talked to Remus about Teddy. As if Remus couldn’t figure out that an eight-year-old needed to eat breakfast in the morning. Remus wanted to tell him that, wanted to give a scathing comment about exactly how he felt about Sirius’ superior attitude, but he swallowed what was on the tip of his tongue.
“Right,” he said instead as he adjusted the scarf around his neck. “Better be off then.”
He allowed Teddy to take the lead out of the house, the boy waving at Sirius who watched them from the doorway until they were no longer visible. He was desperately grappling for something to say, Teddy walking silently next to him, absently kicking at pebbles that got in the way.
Remus had just drawn in a breath to say something, anything, when there was the sound of running footsteps behind them.
“Teddy! TEDDY!”
They both stopped, turning around only to see Sirius there, waving a piece of paper in front of him. He came to a halt in front of them, handing the paper over to Teddy.
“You forgot this, for Mr. Armstrong.”
“Okay,” the boy said, grabbing the paper and stuffing it into his bag. “We gotta go.”
“I know, see you later, kiddo.”
Remus remained where he was for a moment, awkwardly, before muttering a thanks and a bye to Sirius, but he wasn’t sure the other man heard him as he hurried after Teddy.
“What was that?” he asked, keeping his voice even as he caught up and Teddy gave a shrug.
“Sirius signed a note for the trip we’re doing next week,” he said. “All the parents had to sign it.”
“Right,” Remus said, a prickling feeling in his chest again but he stubbornly ignored it as he pushed on. “What are you– d’you have any fun classes today?”
“No,” Teddy said, but then he apparently changed his mind as he gave another small shrug. “I have drama club after school.”
“Yeah?” Remus asked, grateful for something to latch on to. “That sounds like fun. What’s…what d’you do there?”
“We play a lot,” Teddy replied casually. “And also we’re going to do a play this Christmas.”
“That sounds like fun, what play?”
“The Nativity play of course,” came Teddy’s response, complete with a little sigh, and if Remus wasn’t a grown man he’d blush at the tone. “We always do the Nativity play at Christmas.”
“Er, right,” Remus mumbled. “I forgot.”
They fell silent again after that, and Remus cursed his own awkwardness. He and Teddy had been doing this for a while now, Remus coming to pick him up a couple of times a week only to walk him to school. The two of them always stopped at a small café to get breakfast before Remus dropped the boy off for Assembly.
Remus glanced at his watch, they really were running a bit late if they were going to get to school on time. He held the door open for Teddy and the boy slipped past him with a muttered thanks, slumping down at their usual table by the window.
“Morning loves,” the older woman behind the counter greeted them. “The usual?”
Remus looked at Teddy who gave an approving nod and he turned back to the woman and gave her a grateful smile.
“Yes please, that’d be great.”
He sat down opposite Teddy, glancing around. The café was usually quiet this time, the occasional person stopping by to get a takeaway coffee, but very few of the other tables were occupied.
“So how did your science quiz go?” Remus asked when the silence had stretched again, feeling a little flare of satisfaction as Teddy’s eyes lit up.
“I only got one wrong,” he said proudly and Remus couldn’t stop himself from giving a small smile.
“That’s great,” he said, encouraging, and Teddy grinned widely.
“Zach said he’d beat me but he got three questions wrong so I won!”
“That’s very good then,” chuckled Remus, even though he couldn’t remember exactly who Zach was. “What else is new then?”
“We have Book Week next month,” Teddy said before mumbling thanks as a plate of pancakes was placed in front of him. “Miss Booth said we need to start thinking about what we want to read.”
“Yeah? Do you have any idea yet?”
Teddy gave a vague shrug, “I dunno.”
“We could go to the library,” Remus offered, grateful that there was finally something he could suggest, something he was good at. “I could help pick something out for you.”
Teddy chewed on his bottom lip for a moment as he pushed a piece of pancake around on his plate before he gave a small nod.
“Yeh okay,” he said and Remus felt like cheering out loud, his mouth pulling into a smile.
It wasn’t that he thought Teddy disliked him, exactly, it was more than he worried the boy didn’t feel anything about him at all. Remus didn’t blame him for that, why would he? It wasn’t Teddy’s fault they were in this situation, and he knew that if anyone was to blame it was him, for being so awkward all the time.
Books felt safe though, Remus had always enjoyed reading, and he would look forward to finding something for Teddy to read.
“Maybe next weekend, eh?” he suggested and Teddy nodded again.
“Miss Booth is giving us a list, I think. I can show it to you.”
Remus nodded, trying not to seem overly eager as he replied, “That sounds great.”
The rest of the breakfast was a little less awkward, and Teddy warmed up eventually, offering slightly more details in his stories from school. Hearing him talk made Remus think about his own time at school, how different it all seemed. Remus had never fitted in at school, always the odd one out, hardly any friends at all. The school Remus had attended hadn’t been for people like him, it had been for people like Sirius, rich kids with bright futures and trust funds.
His parents had shipped him off to the boarding school when he was eleven, and Remus had never quite forgiven them for that. He didn’t want that for Teddy, although he wasn’t sure if he had any say in where the boy went. He hadn’t picked this school, the ridiculously expensive posh prep-school that he was currently attending.
Remus guessed it had been Tonks’ choice, Teddy’s mother, although he figured that Sirius probably had had a finger in it as well. Sirius was definitely the one paying for it, and Remus wasn’t going to argue with that because he there was no way he would be able to afford it. He wanted Teddy to have a good education, and the boy seemed happy, which at the end of the day was the only thing that mattered.
Sometimes Remus still couldn’t believe that this was his life, that he was sitting here having breakfast with his son .
Remus wasn’t supposed to have a son, had never wanted any children at all, had always known he wasn’t cut out to be a father. However, it turned out that sometimes it didn’t matter what sort of protection you used, life just kept on happening anyway.
He and Tonks were never meant to last. He had known from the start that it wasn’t going to be anything serious. She had been a nineteen-year-old University student and he was an almost thirty-year-old pub worker. They met at a party that Remus didn’t even remember how or why he’d been invited to. It hadn’t been a great period for him, he had worked behind the bar back then and spent more time drunk than sober.
He and Tonks had a whirlwind romance. They spent two intensive months together, staying up all night smoking and drinking and talking in Remus’ dingy flat in Lewisham. Remus had thought they were careful, but clearly not careful enough because the romance came to an abrupt stop when Tonks announced she was pregnant.
Remus said from the start that he didn’t want to be a father. It had always been his greatest fear, he knew that everything he touched turned to shit, that he’d never been able to put his own past behind him enough to look into the future. He didn’t want to put a child through that.
Tonks had been adamant though. She’d flicked her purple hair and looked at him with piercing blue eyes and said that she was doing it, with or without help. They’d made a sort of agreement then; Tonks would raise Teddy on her own and even though Remus hadn’t wanted to be a father he wasn’t a complete arsehole.
He was listed as the father on Teddy’s birth certificate, and he paid alimony (even though he suspected the money he contributed with was neglectful in the circumstances), and he sent gifts for Teddy’s birthdays and for Christmas. Tonks had always assured him that Teddy was fine, that he had plenty of other father figures in his life, her older cousin and his friends for example.
Of course, Remus hadn’t known back then that the older cousin Tonks kept referring to was Sirius fucking Black.
Remus knew Sirius from school. They had been in the same year, but not in the same friendship group. Or, rather, Remus hadn’t been in a friends group at all while absolutely everyone knew who Sirius Black was. It wasn’t exactly that Remus had disliked him back then, he had hardly known him, and he hadn’t thought that Sirius even remembered he existed.
However, once Remus found himself face to face with him all these years later, it quickly became very obvious that Sirius remembered, and that he was not keen on forgiving his old classmate for knocking up his cousin and then leaving.
Remus didn’t blame him. He had never been proud of his decision to leave, but his fear of ruining a child was greater than the obligation he felt to do the right thing. He had been convinced that doing the right thing was to stay away, to leave Tonks and Teddy alone. He was still pretty convinced that was it, but everything had changed when Tonks came to see him almost a year ago.
She had looked so different, then. Her hair wasn’t vividly purple anymore, instead it was a more muted brown colour. Her eyes hadn’t been as sparkling either, instead they were dull, matte. Everything about her was muted, which was odd because Tonks had been anything but muted back then.
She had told him that she was sick, that there was nothing left to be done, that she had a year, maybe two. She and Teddy had moved in with her cousin and he helped care for the boy when she was too sick or too tired. She told him that he needed to make a decision, that he’d either get his life together and step up or disappear out of Ted’s life forever.
Remus still didn’t know what it was that had made him agree. Maybe it was the thought of the boy, young and scared and as good as an orphan. Remus knew what it was like to be abandoned, and suddenly he couldn’t bear the thought of Teddy losing both of his parents. So he had agreed, against his better judgement, to play a bigger part in the boy’s life.
It turned out that Tonks didn’t have two years. In fact, she didn’t even have one because almost six months to the day of her visit, the phone rang and Sirius told him the news in his crisp, cold voice. He had informed Remus that Tonks had passed away, that Teddy was with him.
The following months had been a confusing whirlwind of a mess and if that was how Remus had felt, then he could only imagine how it had been for Teddy. He spent endless meetings with social services, with child protection services, with all sorts of other people and throughout it all Sirius was there, like a disapproving shadow, his lips pressed tightly together but his silvery eyes speaking volumes.
He knew that Sirius didn’t think Remus was fit to be a father, and maybe he was right, but in the eyes of the law Remus was still Teddy’s legal guardian and not even Sirius Black could change that.
Adding to that was that Tonks had come to see him, had all but outright said that the one thing she wished if the worst was to happen was that he and Teddy had a relationship. That Teddy deserved to know his father.
How was Remus supposed to argue with that?
The only thing he and Sirius had managed to agree on so far was that none of them saw a reason to uproot Teddy from his life completely. The boy felt safe with Sirius, and Remus was in no way capable of suddenly becoming a full time dad to a child he barely knew and who didn’t know him.
That was why they had decided that Teddy was going to stay with Sirius while they got to know each other, which was why Remus made the trip to Richmond twice a week to take Teddy first to breakfast and then to school. Other days he picked him up and took him to his football practice, or back to Sirius’ place until the other man came back from work.
Sirius was always there, watching over them, circling around them, and it set Remus’ teeth on edge. He had been tempted on more than one occasion to simply tell the other man to fuck off, but he bit his tongue and said nothing because he knew that Teddy wanted and needed Sirius there.
It was exhausting, trying to get to know Teddy with Sirius constantly hovering around them, judging everything Remus did or said. That was why he cherished these moments, when it was only him and Teddy. Even though it had taken Teddy a while to warm up, and the silences were sometimes still awkward, at least Teddy softened quicker now.
Remus’ gaze snagged on the clock that hung on the wall behind the counter, suddenly choking on his tea.
“Fuck,” he cursed, then bit his lip as Teddy’s eyes flicked up to him. “Shit– I mean– sorry, but we really need to go.”
“I don’t care if you swear,” Teddy said, a smug little pull over his face that made something warm spread in Remus’ chest as they both stood. “Sirius swears all the time, he just pretends he doesn’t when you’re there.”
Remus looked at the boy for a moment, stunned, but then he couldn’t help the corner of his mouth twitching into a half-smile. He grabbed the boy’s bag for him, winking at him as he led him the way back outside.
“Well, that’s good to know.”
Teddy laughed, a light sort of sound that Remus immediately wanted to hear again.
“He does a lot of stuff he pretends he doesn’t when you’re there,” Teddy confided as they walked down the street.
Remus didn’t reply to that, but he did file the information away for later, in case he might need it.
They got to school with a couple of minutes to spare, and Remus handed the bag over to Teddy who accepted it readily.
“I’ll see you next week then,” Remus said, quashing the initial reaction he had to do what Sirius had done, the urge he had to reach out and ruffle Teddy’s hair, and instead he stuffed his hands into his pockets.
“Yeah, okay,” Teddy said, waving at some boy that Remus didn’t recognise. “I gotta go, bye, see you!”
Remus watched Teddy run off, joining a group of boys who were messing about by the entrance to the school, flinging an arm around one of them as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
“Yeah, see you,” he mumbled under his breath before he turned around, waiting until he was back on the street before he lit another cigarette and started making his way back towards the station.
Sirius was leaning against his motorbike, absently scrolling on his phone while he waited for Teddy. He didn’t have to wait very long before the gates to the school were pushed open and Teddy appeared, and Sirius felt a little tightening in his chest at the sight of the boy.
He was incredibly proud of how amazingly Teddy had adapted considering the chaos over the past few months. It wasn’t just about losing his mum, but the added stress of having his deadbeat dad back in his life as well was enough to cause a disruption.
Sirius loved Teddy as if he was his own child, he had done so since the moment Dora had told him she was pregnant. It had been only a year after the accident and he knew that Dora had been struggling with the sudden loss of both her parents. It had been a complicated time, and Sirius had sworn that he would do everything in his power to support her.
That meant being there when she said she was going to keep her baby, and he had never regretted that decision. When Dora had fallen ill, he hadn’t hesitated either; he insisted they both moved in with him so that he could help more. He was the one who had raised Teddy, as much as Dora had, and the thought of losing him now was unbearable.
“I told you!”
Teddy’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up in time to see Teddy striding over with a small group of friends in tow, a smug sort of look on his face as he pointed at the motorbike behind Sirius and then turned to his friends.
“I told you he had a motorbike!”
Sirius hid a smile behind a half-cough, waiting for them to come closer.
“Hiya Ted, everything alright?” he asked, innocently, as if he hadn’t heard the interaction and Teddy beamed at him.
“Yeah. Zach didn’t believe you were gonna come pick me up with the motorbike but I told him you would,” Teddy turned around to give his friend a triumphant look. “I told you!”
The boy who was apparently named Zach looked sullen as he eyed the motorbike before he looked at Sirius with a narrowed gaze.
“Is this yours?”
“It is,” Sirius confirmed, slipping his phone back into his pocket as he reached into the sidecar to take out a helmet that he handed to Teddy. “C’mon, we gotta get going, sprog.”
Teddy put the helmet on with a smug grin, climbing into the sidecar.
“Bye,” he said to his friends, and Sirius did his best to hide his smile as he climbed onto the bike, fastening his own helmet.
“Good day?” Sirius asked as Teddy’s friends trudged off, looking down at the boy who was beaming up at him.
“Yeah,” Teddy nodded, making himself comfortable. “And we weren’t late this morning.”
“Well, that’s something at least,” Sirius muttered as he started the bike up. “Okay, are you ready?”
Teddy gave him a thumbs up as Sirius revved the motor, speeding off.
The ride over to James’ and Lily’s was short, which is why he had opted for the motorbike despite it being October. It was probably one of the last chances they would get before the weather put a stop to using it. Sirius pulled up and parked in their driveway, and he helped Teddy out.
The boy was beaming at him, his eyes shining brightly, nose and cheeks a little red from the wind. Sirius felt another surge of love for him. He wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulder as he steered him towards the door.
“Did you have a good time this morning?” he asked, and Teddy gave a small shrug.
“It was okay,” he offered, pressing a finger against the doorbell before opening the door, not bothering to wait for someone to come and let them in.
“We’re here,” Sirius called out as they stepped inside, setting down both his and Teddy’s helmets on the low bench in the hallway before taking Teddy’s jacket and hanging it on a hook.
“In here,” came James’ voice from further into the house, and Sirius nudged Teddy in front of him as they made their way towards the kitchen.
Sirius loved spending time in this house, it was full of memories from their childhood. James and Lily had moved in after their wedding; James’ parents had insisted it was way too big for the two of them, but perfect for a growing family. They had taken up residence in Cornwall instead, a cute little cottage in a small village west of Plymouth.
James and Lily had made this house their own, but Sirius still saw shadows of himself and James as kids wreaking havoc through the house. And then, on top of those memories, first Harry and then a few years later Teddy. Sirius felt as if the house was steeped in love and warmth, and he could only hope that his own house would feel like that in the future.
“I hope you’re hungry,” James told them as they stepped into the kitchen, a wide grin on his face as he turned around.
His face was a little flushed, his hair the same ridiculous mess as always, and his glasses had gone a bit foggy from where his head had been bent over the pot he was stirring. He looked as effortlessly happy as always as he spread his arms. “Come here, you know the rules.”
Teddy gave a dramatic little sigh as he walked over to give him a hug, but despite his grumblings, Sirius could see the pleased look on his face as James released him again.
“Where’s Harry?” the boy asked and James nodded towards the stairs.
“In his room. You better head up there, I think he’s got something to show you.”
Teddy muttered a thanks before scampering off, clearly not needing to think twice about choosing to spend time with his older, cooler cousin rather than two boring old men.
“What, no hug for me?” Sirius questioned as James returned to the stove and the other man barked out a laugh.
“Get me a beer and I’ll think about it.”
“You wouldn’t know I was a guest in this house,” Sirius grumbled as he made his way to the fridge, pulling out two bottles. “Treated like a damn servant.”
“That’s because you’re not a guest in this house,” James said, smiling sweetly when Sirius pulled a face at him. “This was as much your home as mine when we were kids.”
“Did you want this or not?” Sirius asked as he waved the beer in front of James’ face, snatching it out of reach as he tried to grab it.
He saw James’ eyes flash behind his glasses before he found himself trapped, James’ arms snaking around his waist to hug him close, squeezing hard enough to make Sirius flail and wheeze.
“Welcome, darling brother, I’m honoured to have you visit our humble abode.”
“Wanker,” Sirius complained as he was released, but he couldn’t help the smile tugging at his mouth, and he saw it reflected on James’ face as he grabbed the beer. “So where’s Lils at tonight then?”
“Out,” James replied with a shrug. “Girl’s night or whatever, I don’t know, to be honest I was a bit scared to ask when Mary came to pick her up. Grab the peppers, will you?”
Sirius handed him the chopped vegetables, watching as James dumped them into the pot.
“You still coming to Teddy’s game this weekend?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” James assured him with a smile. “Harry and Lily too.”
“Great, he’d like that.”
“How’s he holding up?” James asked in a low voice, glancing towards the stairs, eyebrows raised behind his glasses.
Sirius mulled the question over for a while as he started to set the table for the four of them, taking a moment before he replied.
“Surprisingly well,” he offered after a while. “He’s got good days and bad days, we both do, but he’s doing okay all things considering.”
“And the whole thing with–“ James waved a hand in front of himself “–with Remus?”
“Don’t get me started,” Sirius sighed with a grimace before taking another swig from the bottle. “Came to pick him up this morning, took him to breakfast…I dunno, he’s just weird.”
James hummed at the sauce, “Weird how?”
“I don’t know, just weird,” Sirius said with a shrug, brows pulling together into a scowl. “Just weird. He always was, even at school. Just weird.”
“Harsh Pads,” James admonished, a disapproving curl to his mouth. “You barely said a word to him back then.”
“Yeah, well, maybe because he was a little weirdo,” Sirius muttered, glowering at his drink.
“He was not,” James replied firmly. “You just think he was because you’re angry with him for what he did to Dora.”
Sirius didn’t reply at first, because James was right (of course he was, the wanker). Truth was that he barely remembered Remus from school. He remembered a thin, pale and quiet boy who hardly said a word to anyone, who kept to himself and sometimes was gone for days at a time before showing back up with no explanation.
“So what?” he conceded eventually. “D’you think what he did was good?”
“Course I don’t think it was good,” James said patiently, because James Potter was some sort of saint who never lost his temper, which drove Sirius mad at times. “All I’m saying is that you don’t know him, and at least he’s trying, right? He seems to be serious about Teddy.”
“The only one who’s Sirius is me,” he quipped, but he sobered as James threw him a look. “Fuck if I know what he wants but I don’t trust him. What’s to say that he doesn’t take off again, first chance he gets? Or maybe it’s the money. I don’t mean to be crass but Teddy’s well off with his inheritance, not to mention he’ll get my money if something were to happen to me and in case you didn’t know, I’m absolutely minted.”
James snorted, tasting the sauce he was making before adding another pinch of salt.
“Maybe he wants to make amends,” suggested James as he filled a separate pot with water. “Maybe he regrets leaving and sees this as a second chance and he’s truly committed to being a part of Teddy’s life.”
“Make amends,” mimicked Sirius with a grimace, finishing his beer before getting a new one for himself and for James. “The fuck does that even mean.”
Sirius could see James suppressing a smile and he just about managed to stop himself from throwing a piece of bread at the other man’s head.
“It means maybe he wants to make things right,” James continued, unperturbed, as he dumped way too much pasta into the boiling water. “Maybe he feels shitty about leaving all those years ago and he figures this is his chance to set things right.”
Sirius watched him, a frown tugging at his brows.
“Doesn’t it ever get tiresome?”
“What?” James asked as he turned around, leaning casually against the counter as he took a swig from his new beer.
“Being such a sanctimonious shit,” Sirius offered, but James merely laughed at him and Sirius knew that his words lacked the bite anyway.
“You should try it sometimes,” James said with a wink. “Go get the kids, dinner’s ready.”
Sirius flipped him off as he stood, but he didn’t offer him any other sort of reply as he left the kitchen behind. He climbed the stairs, his gaze snagging on the photos that were lining the wall. There were mostly photos of Harry; Harry as a baby, as a toddler, as a young boy, as a teenager. Harry with James and Lily, alone, together with Sirius, with Sirius and Dora and with Teddy.
There were also a few photos of himself and James and, later, himself and James and Lily from University. There were photos of Teddy too, of course, and different combinations of all of them together. Sirius smiled to himself as he took the final steps, following the sound of Harry’s and Teddy’s voices as he made his way towards Harry’s room.
He rapped his knuckles against the door before pushing it open, feeling a little tightening in his chest as he saw them, huddled together in front of Harry’s computer. He watched them for a moment before he allowed for his gaze to wander around the room.
It looked like a typical teenage boy’s room, clothes and stuff scattered around almost every single surface, posters on the wall and a mix between schoolbooks and novels on the shelves. Last summer Harry had nagged his parents until they had agreed that he could paint his walls in a dark red colour, and Sirius had been there to help, of course.
“Padfoot come and look,” Teddy said excitedly, waving Sirius to come closer. “This is so cool.”
Sirius chuckled as he stepped up behind them, putting a hand on each of their shoulders to give a little squeeze.
“What’s this new nonsense then,” he teased, grinning as Teddy gave an indignant squeak.
“It’s not nonsense.”
“You’re just getting old, Padfoot, you can’t keep up with us young people anymore,” Harry teased, and Sirius snorted.
“Oi, watch it,” he said with a warning pinch at Harry’s neck, and the teenager squirmed away with a giggle. “C’mon you two, dinner’s ready.”
“But I wanna play,” Teddy complained.
“We’ll play more later,” Harry promised as he stood, and it took a moment before Teddy followed with a huff.
“Okay, but then I want ice cream for dessert,” he said decisively as he took the lead out of the room.
“I’ll see what we can do about that,” Sirius promised, before whispering to Harry. “He drives a very hard bargain.”
“Please,” Harry snorted. “You spoil him rotten and you know it.”
“Me?” Sirius exclaimed, eyes wide, but at Harry’s smirk he huffed out a laugh, folding Harry into a half-hug. “Well, I don’t remember you complaining when it was you I was spoiling.”
“Of course not,” Harry said with a wink. “I’m not stupid.”
Sirius barked out a laugh, swatting Harry playfully at the back of his head before pushing him gently towards the stairs.
“No, you’re definitely not,” he agreed, following his two favourite boys down the stairs and to their waiting dinner.