Chapter Text
Roy doesn’t really know how the fuck he got himself into this situation. He doesn’t talk to any of his classmates besides an ‘excuse me’ every now and then, much less make eye contact with them. He’s too fucking old to be involved in anybody’s business. Plus what the fuck does he have in common with the 19 year old kids in this class besides being in this class? He knew that going back to college at his big age was going to be a mind fuck. He did not realize the difference school makes when you’re old enough to realize the privilege of sitting in a lecture hall and getting an education amongst a sea of uninterested twenty-somethings who would rather be anywhere else but on a college campus.
He’s usually one of the first ones in the room, he has a thing about being early to being on time. He sits towards the front, but not too close to be considered a kiss ass. There’s three alpha women who sit in the row in front of him who have a pissing contest every class to see who can ask the most hot topic questions, an omega guy who sits two seats from Roy who mostly keeps to himself. He and Roy have one interaction every class, and that’s when Roy moves his legs to the side to let the omega into the row. The man smells so fucking distracting, he has to hold his breath to let him past, not that he’s always successful.
There’s also two beta women who never shut the fuck up about the Kardashians that sit behind him. And there’s the one really loud beta guy who has been in every single one of Roy’s biology classes thus far. He never remembers his name, but he thinks it might be Steve or something. He’s a bit too chummy with the professor for Roy’s liking. And there’s about fifty other students (that show up) too but Roy doesn’t look around to find out more about them and he breathes through his mouth for the most part so he doesn’t get distracted.
Blockers work just fine and all, but it's 2023 people don’t want to cover their scents anymore. Or they do. It’s a whole social justice thing going on right now that Keeley says he needs to get educated on, but he’s just so over the whole thing. He’s never really got what people were talking about when it came to finding a mate, about how their scent is the best thing in the world, and how their alphas and omegas just know. Whatever, he doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone that smells so good he loses his mind. Plus, it’s none of his business what someone wants to do with their body.
He doesn’t usually pay attention when people walk in to their seats, but if he did, he would notice that one of the alpha women is always there first, and that every time the omega boy from his row walks in his scent sours a little bit once he gets to where Roy and the other alpha are. Roy gets it, alphas and their alpha stinks. He’s been hearing it his whole life, he tries to make himself only seem threatening to other alphas and he tries to keep his shit to himself. No one needs to be smelling him. He moves his bag and his legs to the side for the omega to walk past him to get to his usual unassigned seat and the alpha in front of them immediately turns around. Roy’s been watching her fail to try to pick the omega up since the second day of class.
“Hey honey.” She says it long and slow and even Roy feels slimy. Not that he’s listening. Roy doesn’t look up but he sees the omega lean towards him out of the corner of his eye.
Roy sits up straighter in his seat to wait for the omega’s response. He pretends to copy something from his textbook.
“Hey, you good?” The omega says it like the words are being pulled from between his teeth. Roy raises an eyebrow but doesn’t look up from his notebook.
“I am now that you’re here.” Roy does glance up at this because really? He watches the omega let out a small forced laugh.
“Uh, yeah. How was your weekend?” Fucking hell, this is bleak. Roy can tell this omega isn’t into this. Even if he wasn’t smelling the evidence. He hasn’t stepped in though, no matter how unfortunate this has been every Tuesday and Thursday. His sister taught him well enough to not make an ass of himself, and to only assist when asked, or in an emergency. Since this is neither of those situations, Roy turns back to his notebook and tunes out the rest of the conversation.
More people fill in, and eventually the guy that sits next to the omega finally makes it to his rightful seat next to him. Roy can smell the pheromones rolling off him to try to soothe the other omega. Roy has to shake his head and curl his hands into fists on his lap to stop himself from making a spectacle. Fucking cocky entitled knothead alphas like her piss Roy off to no end. People should be able to come to fucking school without having to fend off unwanted attention. The other alphas sit next to their buddy in the front row and only once she’s distracted does Roy hear him.
“I’m fucking shaking, like what the fuck.”
“I know, she should get the fucking hint!” Roy watches the omega shove his friend and try to make him talk quieter. “No fuck that, I’m tired of you being scared to come to school. It’s the third week of class. And this is my favorite seat. We can't move.”
“It’s fine, let’s just ignore it, yeah? Can we go get lunch after class?” The other boy must say something funny because the omega lets out the prettiest laugh Roy’s ever heard. It’s a loud honking thing, and he throws his whole head back exposing his throat. Roy ignores the way his mouth waters.
Eventually Dr. Higgins is running in, he’s always a bit late because he gets stopped in the hallways so often. He’s a bit of a big deal at the school. Roy thinks he shouldn’t be paying to take a class that he has to teach himself, but he’s glad people worship the ground Dr. Higgins walks on. His shirt, pants and jacket are three different shades of blue today and as always his suit jacket is wrinkled like it was left in the hamper. The omega’s scent has gone from the lemony soil scent back to his usual mint tea scent and Roy feels something settle in his chest.
Class goes by far too quickly, and Roy scrambles when Dr. Higgins skips the entire half end of chapter two and jumps right to chapter three but he’s fine. He can absolutely teach himself all the different neurotransmitter receptor types. Totally. The omega and his friend are out of the hall before Roy’s even packed up his bag and he watches the other alpha frown at his empty seat.
“Ugh! He keeps running out before I can ask him out.” She whines to her friend with the blue hair.
“You just have to chase him then.” Roy grunts as he stands and storms out the room.
Disgusting.
*~**~* *~**~*
He forgets all about it until class on Thursday.
He’s in the lecture hall before the omega but not before the other alpha is there. He figures it’s going to be another rough fifteen minutes of watching this alpha try every sleazy trick in the book to get the omega to stare down her shirt.
He smells him before the other alpha does, Roy knows because when he turns to look at him he watches as he takes a deep breath and pushes his shoulders back like he’s going into battle. Jesus, Mary and fuckface Joseph he can’t watch this shit. Roy can smell his own scent change to try to soothe him, but he tries to shut that down. He doesn’t want to be rude and assuming. He moves his bag and his legs to the side like he always does for him.
The omega trips over Roy’s foot and Roy reaches out to catch him and Roy takes it as his opportunity.
“Shit sorry.” He says and the omega’s eyes widen when their eyes meet. His hair falls into his eyes and he pushes one hand up to tuck it back behind his ear. Roy thinks he smells like freshly made iced tea with mint in it. And a little like weed, but Roy’s not judging, he was young once.
The omega sits in the seat next to him. It’s not his usual spot but Roy nods his head at him anyway. He glances up to the alpha staring them down.
“Can I help you?” Roy says it low, uninterested. She doesn’t look deterred, in fact she doesn’t even look at him.
“Jamie, darling?” Jamie.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” Her lips curl into a smile and Roy thinks she looks like a real wolf with canines that want to rip into the omega—Jamie. “I texted you last night.” She pouts, and Roy holds in a snort.
“Yeah, you know. Life! And things. Boring really.” Roy doesn’t hold the snort back this time. They both turn to look at him. Jamie with curiosity and the other alpha with disdain.
“That’s what you call it?”
“What?” They both say.
“I mean, I had a pretty good time last night.” He scratches at his beard, the omega’s eyes track the movement. “I definitely wouldn’t call what we did boring.” Roy doesn’t even know what he’s saying or why he’s saying it, he couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth if he wanted to. But Jamie’s cheeks turn a delicious shade of pink and the other alpha’s eyes darken. It’s every bit as satisfying as he thought saying something would be.
“No, yeah. I didn’t- I mean. Right, what I was trying to say.” He stutters out and the woman in front of them seethes.
“Who the fuck exactly even are you?”
“I’m Roy fucking Kent.” He didn’t need to give his full name, not like it means much anymore. It’s more for Jamie’s sake than hers. “Also, it’s rude to interrupt. Jamie was just saying how boring I was last night.”
She looks like she’s about to start fighting but Jamie just laughs.
“I mean, it wasn’t anything to write home to my mama about.” He smirks at Roy and Roy keeps his face as neutral as he can. His voice goes a bit more southern when he says mama.
“Fuck you, you loved it.” He says it before he realizes he shouldn’t. But Jamie just.
“Yeah.” He sighs. “I did.” His face is soft, his eyes and his smile. He’s like sunshine. Roy just looks at him with wide eyes.
The other alpha just huffs and turns around. Jamie lets out a silent breath and he closes his eyes. Roy lets himself look.
“Can we get together again tonight?” Jamie surprises him.
“Yeah, alright. Candlelit dinner and rose petals?” Roy asks him to see him blush again.
“No, just be normal for once please? Can we just get burgers from that new place by campus?” Roy doesn’t even know if there is a new burger place by campus. But this conversation isn’t real. They aren’t really dating. None of this is fucking real.
“Fine. But you’re paying.” He says it like it’s final and Jamie smiles.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” And then the moment is broken by the rest of the class filling in and Jamie pulling out his ipad to go over the notes from the class before. Roy turns his attention back to his notebook, and keeps his smile to himself.
The omega is…not what Roy expected. He takes up as much space as he can in his seat. He’s constantly shaking something, whether it’s his foot or his head or his pencil. He can’t stop adjusting himself in his seat like he can’t get comfortable. He’s being completely silent but his movements are so fucking loud to Roy. Roy has completely missed the entirety of the first half of the lecture, he’s too focused on the way Jamie’s scent fans out to him every time he moves in his seat. And how he holds his friend’s hand through some parts of class. At one point Jamie sits up straight and then slouches back down just to pull himself back upright again. Roy presses his knee into Jamie’s and Jamie stills.
He goes to move his leg back, but Jamie’s leg follows Roy’s. He leaves his leg there and for the rest of class Jamie doesn’t move from his slouched position.
“Alright and I’m going to end there for today! Tell your colleagues about what you’ve learned today! Make those connections!” He points to his brain as he says it and Roy smiles despite himself. He’s just such a dad sometimes. “Don’t forget to upload articles for the first part of your research paper, that’s due next week!”
Jamie’s friend jumps up and tries to pull him by the arms. Roy tries not to miss the heat from where their legs were touching.
“C’mon I’m starved.” He whines it like he’s a child, and when Roy looks he realizes, he might be. Oh god.
“Alright, I’m moving!” Jamie slaps his hands away and puts his things in his bag. Roy moves as quickly as he can. Now that he realizes he’s about to have to face what he’s done. How he’s inserted himself and probably made this whole situation worse for Jamie. “Hey, do you want to join us for lunch? Like for real?”
Roy looks up when he realizes Jamie is talking to him and Roy points a finger to his chest. Jamie nods and his friend next to him rolls his eyes. Ouch. He looks around and the other alpha has already left them behind.
“I can’t today. I’m sorry.” Roy wishes he could stay because the frown on Jamie’s face is making him feel like he should be pulled down to the pits of hell.
“Good! We don’t need an alpha to ruin the vibe anyway.” The friend says with his nose in the air and Roy snorts and nods his head.
“That’s fair enough.” They both turn to him in shock.
“I’m Colin.” He holds his hand out for Roy to shake so he does. Colin makes weird and intense eye contact with Roy but he does not look away, he’s sizing Roy the fuck up. Roy respects the hell out of it. There’s still about ten students standing around Dr. Higgins’ desk waiting to talk to him about the class material.
“Roy.” Colin grips Roy’s hand tighter before he lets go.
“And I’m Jamie.” Jamie says loud enough for the person in front of them to turn around and glare. Roy stares down at them and they turn around with an eye roll. “Ugh, fucking rude.”
“I know. No manners in today’s youth.” Colin laughs and Jamie just looks at Roy with an expression Roy can’t quite decipher.
“I mean you can’t be that old. Like fifty at the least.” Roy bares his teeth and Jamie smirks.
“I’m a youthful seventy fuck you very much.”
“Right and I’m nineteen.” Roy’s face must show his absolute horror at the thought and Jamie quickly rushes to add. “Not really! ‘M twenty five.”
“Jesus man, shoulda seen your face!” Roy keeps forgetting that Colin is there. Colin turns to Jamie to say something and Roy turns away to leave, run, hide, he doesn’t know. Jamie and Colin either don’t realize how Roy is freaking out, or they simply don’t give a shit and they follow him out the lecture hall. Once in the hallway Jamie puts his hand on Colin’s arm to silence his rant about the textbook assignments.
“So.”
“Wait, I’m sorry. Can I just say I shouldn’t have. Overstepped. You probably had that handled.” Jamie goes to open his mouth but Colin beats him to it. “I didn’t mean to make it worse.”
“No he didn’t have that handled!” Colin throws his arms up like he’s had enough. “Was fucking tragic. He’s been trying to fight her off since the first class and he won’t let me do it.”
“Colin!” Colin just shrugs and mimes like he’s zipping his mouth shut. Jamie looks back at Roy. “You just helped me out of a shitty situation, that’s all. No overstepping. So, thank you.”
“Right. Of course.”
They nod at each other for a moment and Colin groans.
“Oh my fucking god. Roy, thank you so much for helping get that knothead away from my dear Jamie. Jamie give the man your number.” He whacks Jamie on the shoulder as he addresses him. They both sputter out responses. “What? You two decided to pretend like you’re fucking or in love or something. What happens next week when she sees y’all not talking?”
Jamie’s mouth falls into a small o, and Roy has to agree he did not think about how this would have to play out. He pulls his notebook out of his bag and the pen from the spiral binding. He scribbles his number and his name on it for Jamie and rips it out.
“Here, you can text me and we can figure something out. I do have to run though.” He hands it to Jamie and Colin looks like he knows something they don’t.
“Yeah, alright.” Jamie says and Roy nods at him and then at Colin. Then he’s turning and walking away from the omegas before he decides to skip out on work and go to lunch with them.
He’s not far away when he hears Colin and Jamie start hitting each other and shouting at each other. He’s pretty sure Colin said the word crush but Roy wasn’t listening.
Roy makes it through the rest of his evening with his sister and Phoebe before he hears from Jamie. Roy absolutely did not put his phone as loud as it could go and he one hundred percent did not check his phone every two minutes for a text from the omega. His sister had called him out on it, but he thinks blaming it on their upcoming exam convinced her it was nothing.
And that’s the thing, this whole Jamie situation is completely ridiculous. It means absolutely nothing to him no matter what his sister says. It’s just if he had to witness one more uncomfortable interaction between Jamie and the alpha he was going to throw up. It was nauseating. Jamie doesn’t mean anything. Roy hardly knows him, except he knows he almost always calls his mom on the way out of the lecture hall to tell her how class went, even with Colin hanging off his arm. He knows how Jamie smells when he’s nervous and how he smells when he’s happy. So Roy knows a total of three things about him. It’s nothing.
Once his sister and Phoebe are long gone, and Roy has convinced himself that he completely hallucinated the afternoon. It’s the dreaded sound of an outlook email, and Roy groans thinking it’s his fucking geology teacher again. He hates the class but he needed the credits for graduation.
He pulls up his email and he sees a new one amongst the sea of unopened spam mail from the university’s bookstore.
Jamie Tartt
my guy what the fuck is your handwriting?
He opens it and the subject line is not misleading.
wtf i had to stalk the class page to find your email. why is your handwriting such fucking shit?! must be because ur so old !!!!!!!!! anyway i literally could not read a single number you wrote down so here’s mine ! pls text me so we can figure out wtf were doing.
No hello or best wishes or goodbye. God. Roy can’t keep the smile off his face as he reads it. He doesn’t understand what’s gotten him silly over this omega like this. He’s just interested in seeing how this all plays out, is all. Maybe if he keeps telling himself that it’ll all be okay.
He considers calling Jamie, but Keeley has told him countless times that phone calls stress people the fuck out and it’s better to text. He’s not cut out for all of this shit. He just wants to work in a lab, studying the effects of traumatic brain injuries in athletes. He wants to work with other nerds in a lab doing nothing but nerd shit all day and like dissecting brains or something, he doesn’t want to have to think about boys like he’s nine years old. He’s not full of whimsy or whatever. He just wants to be a fucking neuroscientist. That’s all.
Although, a small voice in the back of his mind reminds him that when he first presented he was ecstatic because that meant that one day he would have an omega to love and care for. That the thought of being someone’s mate kept him going through the hard times. But he doesn’t listen to that voice anymore. He’s grown up.
He copies the number and stares at the empty text. He writes and deletes his message about twelve different times. But settles on a simple one. He feels too old to be having this issue, worrying about texting a boy who does he think he is?
I’ve been told I have excellent penmanship, maybe you just don’t know how to read.
After he hits send he panics and then sends This is Roy.
The text bubbles pop up immediately, and Jamie’s haha’ed the ‘this is Roy’ text.
im surprised you even know how to text! ancient man
Roy snorts and then another text comes through.
now that we’ve gotten that out of our systems. care to tell me what the fuck we r gonna do? !
And yeah, what the fuck are they going to do. Roy doesn’t know how he wound up here. He didn’t mean to insert himself this way. He meant to keep his head down, hope to pass this course, and graduate next fall. Now he’s gotten himself into this fucking mess.
He starts typing and deletes the I don’t fucking know and Jamie sends another text before Roy can even send one of his own.
pick up ur phone And then Jamie’s number is flashing on his screen with a facetime. Oh, he’s bold.
Roy scrambles to sit up straight and fluff his hair before answering the call. When it connects Jamie is lit by soft twinkle lights that Roy can see hanging from the ceiling.
“Hey.” Roy’s voice gets lost and Jamie laughs.
“Hello.” Then they’re just staring at each other and Jamie rolls his eyes.
“Oh my god, say something. Do you know how facetime works? Is this too advanced for you?”
“I’m training to be a neuroscientist. Of course I know how facetime works.”
“Oh! Are you a psych major too?” Roy scoffs and Jamie pretends to gag.
“Oh god, you’re a biology major. Disgusting.” He looks like he’s just smelled something awful.
“Fuck you?”
“It’s fine, psych isn’t for everyone. Psych can be intimidating to outsiders.” Roy shouldn’t be offended by that but he is.
“I’m not intimidated by psychology.” Is all Roy manages to say before Jamie’s face changes.
“I’m fucking with you. You know how Dr. Higgins was like ‘oh you bio and psych majors will fight for superiority. You’re both respectable stem majors’ and shit?” Oh, yeah, Roy might be a bit intimidated by psych majors. They know things.
“Right, I knew that.” Jamie looks at him like he’s trying not to laugh. “Fine, I didn’t. In my defense, I literally met you today.” Jamie frowns.
“We met three weeks ago on the first day of class when I handed you the attendance sheet and you said ‘cheers.’” How does Jamie even remember that?
“Does that count?” Jamie puts a hand on his heart.
“Roy, I’m offended! Does our anniversary mean nothing to you?”
“Our anniversary cannot be three weeks ago.” Roy shuts that down immediately, Jamie pouts.
“Why not?”
“Because she won’t take that seriously enough to know she can’t have you.” The words are out of his mouth before he can overthink them.
“Aw, you big softie you want us to pretend to be committed!” Roy watches himself shake his head and roll his eyes.
“That’s not-no. That’s not what I meant.” Jamie mmhmms and Roy continues. “Alphas like her don’t back down until there’s a mating bite.” Roy ignores the way Jamie blushes at the words. “I’m just saying that if she thinks we aren’t serious about each other she won’t back off.”
“We are not faking being mated to get some greedy alpha to leave me alone.”
“No! Not a fake mating. Just,” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, he can’t believe he’s about to say it. “Fake dating? Long enough that she leaves you alone!”
Jamie is silent enough that Roy opens one eye to glance at him.
“Can I just say how fucked up it is that alphas feel so entitled?” Jamie says and Roy winces.
“I know! I’m sorry! I didn’t want to step in, I just. If I had to listen to her be gross and you be uncomfortable one more time I was going to lose my fucking mind.”
“I mean, I was talking about how gross she is, not you helping me out. That bit was quite lovely.”
“Oh. Well, still sorry all the same.”
“I’m ignoring you. But okay, if we didn’t just start dating, how do you make sense of you ignoring me until this morning?”
“Don’t be a prick.”
“Alright, alright. I’ll be good.” He drags out the word, and Roy has a hard time not imagining all the ways that Jamie would be good for him. “But I’m serious, we need to come up with a plan to get her off my back.”
“No, you’re right. What’s your schedule like tomorrow?” Roy watches as Jamie moves his face closer to the screen like he’s swiping through his calendar.
“Uh, I’ve got emotions at 9:30 and research methods at 3. And then family dinner with my mama and my stepdad.” Roy thinks of his own day.
“Right, I get to campus around 1:30. Would you wanna grab lunch or something and we can go over everything?” Jamie looks like he’s thinking it over, but he shakes his head.
“No, I won’t be able to sleep if we don’t have at least the basis of a plan.” He scratches at his neck and puts his hoodie up, he looks soft. “This, uh, has actually really been bothering me. She’s small but she’s aggressive, I didn’t expect it. I’ve been so afraid to walk into the hall alone, in case she’s the only one in there.”
“I fucking hate that.” Jamie snorts.
“Yeah, but then I see the back of your big head through the door and I know it’s safe to go in.” He says it like it means nothing, maybe it does mean nothing to him.
“How did you know I wasn’t going to be an asshole? Turn the other way.”
“You always move your legs out of the way for me to get to my seat. Figured you weren’t a dickhead.”
“Your basis for judging alphas is fucked to hell. But alright, I’ll allow it.” They both smile at each other for a second. Roy feels. A feeling.
“Fuck off! The logic was sound!” His cheeks are pink again, Roy can’t look away. Thankfully he doesn’t have to. “Okay, so. I’ve been thinking since class.”
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
“God, even your insults are old. Shut up. We need to know the basics.”
“Go on.” Jamie holds his hand up to start counting on his fingers.
“We need to know like the boring shit. Like names, ages, mom’s names, majors, jobs. But also like.” He pauses as he looks away from the phone and starts again. “The deep stuff. First love, career goals, allergies? Like the stuff people that are actually dating would know already.”
“That seems fair.” Roy opens his mouth to say something else but Jamie blurts out.
“Like we also have to act like a couple. You have to touch me.” His eyes widen and so do Roy’s. “You know like hold my hand or something! We have to have been together since before school but we also haven’t interacted so we have to figure out when we started and how serious we are. And like who’s the big spoon?” He looks more and more worried as he speaks.
“Why would she need to know who’s big spoon?”
“I need to know!”
“Okay, alright. Well. I’m Roy Kent. My middle name is Joseph, I’m almost 38. My mom’s name doesn’t matter but my sister’s is Riley and I’ve got a seven year old niece named Phoebe.” Jamie’s eyes do this thing that has Roy stuttering. “I’m a biology major but I’m going neuroscience, I work in a stuffy old office downtown but I volunteer in Dr. Shelley’s lab. My first love was my first girlfriend who presented as an alpha and decided she didn’t want to date another alpha. Fair, but it still broke my heart, I was sixteen when that happened. Right, I want to study traumatic brain injuries, especially in athletes. Uh. What else did you ask? Oh I am lactose intolerant even though I mostly ignore that, and I don’t have any allergies.” He clears his throat. “And I’m whatever spoon works best, I’m decent at being the little spoon though.”
Jamie’s got a dreamy look on his face and he hasn’t responded to anything Roy’s said. Maybe he shouldn’t have said he likes to be little spoon.
“Oi.” Jamie jolts.
“Sorry. Wow. Okay lovely to meet you.” Roy can see and feel his own cheeks blush. He pushes down the growl that’s in the back of his throat. Roy looks at Jamie expectantly and Jamie’s mouth drops open and he starts talking in that really fast way that he does. “I’m Jamie Tartt, I’m 25, mama’s name is Georgie which is why my middle name is George. I’m an only child, but I’ve got a stepdad named Simon. I’m a psychology major, I work at a bookstore by the river, my first love was my next door neighbor and when my dad found us kissing he beat us both.” Jamie makes a face like he hadn’t really meant to say that. “If you asked me last semester I would say I’m going clinical psych all the way.” Roy scrunches his nose up and Jamie nods. “I know, but I might also want to go into research. I think. My research class is kinda making me rethink my entire like fucking life so. I’m not too sure anymore. Oh! And I’m actually allergic to scent blockers and eggplant.”
Now Roy’s the one who can’t seem to speak. He has to remember to ask him at a later date if there are any areas of research catching his eye.
“It’s lovely to meet you as well.” They blink at each other and Roy clears his throat. “Do you feel any better?” Jamie exhales loud enough that Roy can hear it.
“Honestly? Yeah, I feel like I can finally settle now.” Roy tries to not look smug. “See. I judged the back of your head and the way you move your legs correctly. You’re a good man.” Roy’s chest feels funny at the compliment. Not now.
“You’re alright.”
“Rooooy!” He laughs and it’s Roy’s new favorite song. He shakes his head to himself, get a fucking grip.
“Jamie.” He hopes he comes off as unamused, disinterested, completely under control. By the look on Jamie’s face he knows he’s failed to be normal. “I know you already said no, but do you want to meet up tomorrow? We can go over more and come up with a story to spin, I just have to start getting ready for bed.”
“It’s so fucking early oh my god you’re a true grandfather.”
“Fuck you.” He growls out and Jamie. Fucking. Giggles. This omega is going to be the death of him. Forget everything he told his sister tonight, this is not nothing. This does mean something and Roy can’t stop the way his heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. “I go for a run before work.”
“Christ man, are you that miserable that you choose to run?”
“I’m old and bitter.” He shrugs. At least if he’s honest up front, Jamie won’t expect any different. “I love it.”
“I reckon you're dead nice.” Roy almost says thank you. “Still old.”
“I could hang up. Leave you to deal with that alpha all on your own.”
“But you won’t.”
“No.” Jamie’s face melts into that soft smile that Roy likes. “I won’t.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes, Roy, you can see me tomorrow. Desperate much?” Roy rolls his eyes. “Only joking! Wanna get coffee or lunch?”
“Let’s do lunch, will give us more time to go over whatever we need to.”
“Meet me outside of the library?” Roy nods. “Okay. Right.”
“Hey. It’ll work, yeah? We’ll convince her that you’re not available and she’ll stop looking at you like you’re something to eat.” Jamie’s eyebrows do this thing like he wants to say something but doesn’t.
“You think she looks at me like I’m something to eat?”
“She looks at you like she wants to rip you apart and laugh about the carnage.” Jamie shivers. Not that Jamie isn’t absolutely delectable, which Roy can admit now that he’s allowed himself to look. But, the way she goes about it is all sorts of wrong.
“She’s gross.”
“She is.”
“She’s what’s wrong with society.”
“Okay, I wouldn’t go so far to say she’s the only one adding to the fucked up hierarchy we’ve got going on. But she’s not great.” Jamie rolls his eyes.
“That is such a bio major thing to say.”
“That doesn’t even make any sense!”
“It does, you just don’t want to see it. Trust me.”
“Alright.” Jamie looks at him like Roy’s said something controversial. “What?”
“Nothing, you’re just not what I expected.” He’s chewing on one of his hoodie strings and it should be gross, but it isn’t.
“Worse?” Roy gives him the out.
“Yes.” Jamie takes it. “No, not really. But also yes.”
Roy tilts his head to the side and Jamie opens his mouth like he’s about to speak but there’s a knock at Jamie’s room’s door.
“Roommate. Hold on.”
Roy can’t hear them through the call, but he’s got a good view of Jamie’s room. He’s got the lights up on the ceiling like Roy has in Phoebe’s room. There’s a Britney Spears oops I did it again poster that looks like it’s been well loved and some photos of Jamie and what appears to be his mom. There’s one of Jamie and Colin next to a poster of One Direction. He sees the corner of a vintage brain poster and there’s a frog plush on his bed closer to where Roy must be positioned on the ipad. Phoebe would like him, he thinks. The whole room has a soft pink glow from the lights and Roy wonders if Jamie has a nest.
Roy looks away after a moment, it feels like he’s invading Jamie’s privacy looking into his room like this. He checks the text from his friend from chemistry, Jan saying they can meet at the library next week to work on their project. He groans he fucking hates group projects. Jan is nice and smart enough, at least Roy doesn’t have to pull the weight of both of them.
Jamie must come back at some point because Roy hears a whine.
“Where did you go? Roy! Roy? Roooooy.” Roy clicks back on the call and makes sure to Roll his eyes dramatically. “Oh, hey.”
“Do you have to go now?” Jamie frowns.
“Yeah, Isaac brought home dinner.”
“It’s 9 pm?”
“We eat late and stay up till like two working on homework, we aren’t all nearing retirement.” Roy thinks his eyes might get stuck from how often he’s rolling them.
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Roy clears his throat and Jamie just blinks at him. Neither one of them ready to end the call.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“1:30.” He nods.
“Alright, goodnight Jamie.” He blushes as he smiles.
“Goodnight, Roy.”
Jamie ends the call before Roy does. He sits there staring at his phone until it locks and even after that. Today was not supposed to go like this, Roy doesn’t know how to feel. It’s all a bit too much. The soft way Jamie smiles at him, the way he rolls his eyes when he says Roy’s name, the way his chest feels when he thinks about getting to touch him. He flops back onto his couch and throws an arm over his eyes. He doesn’t even know him enough to be feeling this. Much.
It’s just too fucking much.
He runs a hand down his face and sits up. He can do this. He can pretend to be Jamie’s alpha for a bit to get her off Jamie’s back. He really needs to ask what her name is, at this point it feels rude to not know, even though she sucks. He can be Jamie’s fake boyfriend long enough to convince her to leave him alone. He just doesn’t know if he can do all of that without actually falling for the omega.
Roy doesn’t want to give the credit to Jamie, but he’s the most intriguing person Roy has met (besides his mentor teacher—he’s a bit of a freak in a fun way) in his entire undergraduate career. Ugh, fucking leave it to Roy to fall for a stupid fucking psych major. Dr. Higgins be damned, there’s a feud for a reason. Not one that he knows or understands but he feels it in his heart whenever that one psych kid asks a stupid fucking question. But he does have to agree with Jamie a bit because bio majors do have a vibe about them. At least he’s not a fucking chemistry major, insufferable pricks.
He texts Keeley saying to expect a call from him tomorrow afternoon. After tomorrow with Jamie, he’s going to need her advice. She’ll tell him what he doesn’t want to say or admit or accept. Which, this is a bit ridiculous. He’s known the man existed for three weeks, and learned his fucking name less than 24 hours. He doesn’t get why this feels like this. It’s heavy and curled up deep in his chest. It’s warm. He hates how much he doesn’t hate it.
*~**~* *~**~*
His shift drags on to the point that once 12:45 hits he clocks out early and heads to campus. If he also brought a change of shirt and his nice leather jacket and some product to make sure his hair looked good enough, that’s his business.
Once he’s deemed himself suitable he leaves his car and walks towards the library. There’s a small cafe in the library and he assumed that’s where they would be eating. He’s regretting the jacket because of how hot it is even in the shade. He’s sitting at one of the benches outside when he hears Jamie running up.
“Roy! Roy! Oh hell.” He’s out of breath once he makes it to Roy. “Roy listen.” He leans over to gulp in some air and Roy gets up and puts a hand on his back.
“Hey, you’re fine. Take a breath, fuck.” He’s rubbing small circles into Jamie’s back before he realizes it and he pulls his hand away.
“Are you dating someone else?” He shouts it so loud the other people outside turn to look.
“What?”
“I’ve been thinking about it all night. I never asked! I just assumed you were single!”
Roy pulls Jamie towards the side of the building where there’s less curious ears. He gets a whiff of lemon and mint off Jamie as he does it.
“Like! I just figured you were single but now that I think about it there’s no way you’re single! You’re such a good alpha!” Roy feels his face warm up at the compliment. “You smell good and you’re respectful and you’ve got that like mysterious mean hot guy energy.”
“Wait, Jamie—” Jamie cuts him off. Roy figures he’s gotta get it all out of his system.
“It’s like you’re smart and funny and a total catch! So of course you already have a partner. Oh my god, I’m so stupid have I upset them? I’m the worst omega in this whole school, Roy. I am so sorry!” He looks like he’s about to cry and Roy can’t have that.
“Okay, right. I’m. Single. Painfully single.” He winces as he says it. He just hasn’t been putting himself out there. It’s not like he’s afraid of rejection and never being loved. It’s not that at all.
“There’s no way you’re single.” Roy rolls his eyes.
“Okay, why would I disrespect my omega by insinuating that I fucked someone else?” Jamie winces at how harsh Roy’s words are.
“I. Well no, I don’t think you would disrespect your omega. I mean you could have told them that some silly pitiful omega needed your like alphaness to save them from unwanted alpha attention. Any omega would get that.” Roy scoffs.
“Okay, well, there is no partner. It’s just me. Also you are not a terrible and pitiful omega who says these things to you?” Jamie goes to open his mouth to respond but the look on Roy’s face has him snapping his jaw shut. “Jamie, I would not have stepped in if it meant stepping on someone else’s toes. I try not to fuck around in other people’s business.”
“So why did you fuck around in mine?” Roy blows a heavy breath out of his nose, and he has to admit to Jamie that he doesn’t know why. He hears a small voice in the back of his head that sounds like Phoebe be brave!
“I just. Couldn’t stand it.” Jamie tilts his head and Roy holds his hands up like he’s surrendering. “The way your scent changed when you would get close to us. I could smell and almost feel your discomfort.” He points to his sternum. “I mean fuck, this is a place of learning. You shouldn’t have to be nervous to come to class! It's absolute fucking bullshit. Plus I just don’t like that girl. She’s practically twelve. Why is she so aggressive?” Jamie laughs at that and Roy feels himself exhale.
“See, you’re a good alpha. Like damn, it makes no sense why you’re single.” Jamie looks him up and down. “Makes no damn sense. Are you sure you’re not just forgetting an omega somewhere?”
“Use your nose and your brain. Jesus christ I don’t have fucking dementia.”
“See! How are you single?” He throws his hands up like he’s joking. And Roy can take a lot of shit, but now he feels like Jamie can see right through him. He’s always been a bit too bitter for his past partners.
“Right, okay. Laugh at the guy trying to fucking save your ass. Sure!” Jamie’s face does a thing that makes Roy regret snapping.
“No, Roy I was being so for real.” They stare at each other. “Swear, like you’re so.”
“So what?” Jamie’s face is so expressive but Roy still finds himself struggling to read it.
“I don’t know. Stop being mean to me! I’ll fall in love with you! Go back to being nice. Actually I might fall either way so it’s up to you how we proceed.” God he’s such a fucking dork, Roy laughs at Jamie’s joke as it takes the wind out of his sails.
“Alright fuck, can we just go eat and talk about this? I’m sure you have a list of questions.” Jamie looks away but gives the smallest of nods. “Wanna go to the cafe?” Jamie groans.
“Ugh no, their lettuce is always weird. How do you fuck up a caesar salad? Can we grab food from that burger place off campus? I can drive!” Roy doesn’t mention that there’s more than a caesar salad on the cafe menu but the way his nose wrinkled up makes Roy want to give him whatever he wants.
“I thought you made that place up, yeah where’s your car?” Jamie looks around and turns his body around at least three times before turning back to Roy.
“Actually, my car is all the way by the psych building.”
“Fuck that, I’m not walking that far c’mon, my car is right there.” He flashes his car lights so Jamie can spot his car. “You know, if you want.” Jamie snorts at Roy.
“Yeah, you can drive since you’re the big bad alpha.” He smirks at Roy, “plus I hate driving anyway.” Jamie starts walking away before Roy catches up.
“You offered!” Jamie bumps his shoulder as they walk.
“Wanted to be nice.” He knows he’s been thinking it all day but it crosses his mind once again, Jamie Tartt will be the death of him. He knows it.
Roy drives them to the burger place and it’s not a far drive, but it’s far enough that Jamie plugged his phone in and played his music. Roy didn’t totally hate the way Jamie made himself comfortable in Roy’s car. They are seated quickly and they both order once their drinks come. Roy’s watched Jamie drink half of his diet coke, he watches Jamie’s fingers trace around the glass. Roy stretches his arms out and then takes a sip of his beer.
“It’s the middle of the day, don’t you have class after this?” His face is scrunched up like he’s disgusted but his eyes are playful.
“When you’re a grown up you can have a beer with your lunch.” Jamie rolls his eyes.
“Fuck off.”
“You first.”
Jamie looks at him and Roy mimes like he’s zipping up his mouth. He pretends to throw the key at Jamie. He catches it and eats it. Figures. Roy watches as Jamie pulls a notebook out of his backpack as well as his ipad.
“Figured you’d want this on paper.” Roy growls a bit and Jamie smiles. “Okay. Are you ready.” Roy nods. “No wait, you can speak again please.”
“Yes, I’m ready.” Jamie deflates.
“Okay, when was your last relationship?”
“Why is that important?”
“I want to know if I’m a rebound or not, that would be important in real life. I think.” He hands the notebook and pen to Roy and he starts writing on his ipad waiting for Roy to answer.
“You’re not a rebound. My last real relationship was about two years ago. We’re still friends though, which might be a problem but she’s too much alpha for me so there’s no risk there.”
“That’s the second alpha you dated? Wait, are you even into omegas?” His eyes pop out of his head and Roy wants to reach out to hold his hand.
“I’m an equal opportunist when it comes to dating.” He says it like a question. “I tend to fall for the person.”
“Do you even want an omega?” Jamie blurts and he looks like he didn’t really mean to ask that. “Don’t answer that if you don’t wanna!” He covers his face and Roy reaches out to pull one of his hands down. Jamie opens one of his eyes and must see something in Roy’s face. He puts both of his hands back down and picks up a fry.
“Hey, isn't this the time to ask all the questions? We need a crash course on each other. Nothing is off limits to ask, I just might not answer if I don’t want. That works for you too, okay?” Jamie nods.
“Okay yeah, that’s good.”
“Right, so. I guess I’ve always imagined I’d find an omega who fit just right. As I’ve gotten older,” he scratches his neck to try to hide his embarrassment, “I feel like that’s looking less and less likely.” Jamie tuts.
“Again, the universe is fucked for making you single but alright.” Roy looks at him with raised eyebrows and shakes his pen at Jamie. “Right, my turn. Uh, I grew up hating being an omega because of my shitty dad. But then I met some other omegas and they told me how fucked that way of thinking is. So since then I’ve dreamed of finding my alpha. But I’d be a child bride, so I’m in no rush.” Roy snorts.
Roy scribbles down child bride and my alpha and Jamie writes on his ipad.
“What about your last relationship?” Jamie blushes when Roy asks.
“Horrible, I was a total prick. She dumped me, I woke the fuck up. Realized I need to be better, you know? Thought I loved her, think it was more the idea of her, really. Of being someone’s omega.” He looks guilty, apologetic, and not all that sorry all in the same go.
“Yeah, I get that.” Roy nods and then their waiter is bringing them their food.
“Alright, favorite season.” Jamie says through a mouthful of burger.
“Probably winter. I get to grow out my beard, no one says anything.” Jamie nods.
“Mine’s when it’s still a little cold but also getting warmer.”
“Opinion on iced tea?” Roy asks and Jamie rolls his eyes as if to say you’re bad at asking the questions.
“It’s the south. I was raised on it, my nanny makes the best in the world.” He points a french fry at Roy, “and you can fight me on that.” Roy holds his hands up.
“I won’t, fuck.” The way Jamie smacks his lips should grate on Roy’s nerves. Part of him just feels happy that the omega is eating. “Go on, I can tell you have questions, ask me another.”
“Okay so.”
And their meal goes on like that for the most part. Roy learns more about Jamie and his mom and Isaac. And Colin shows up at one point with his boyfriend and just presses a kiss to the top of Jamie’s head and he slaps the back of Roy’s. Roy feels like he passed some sort of test by only responding by telling Colin hello.
He learns that Jamie likes to see how much he can get away with. Like he’s testing Roy’s parameters, to see what makes Roy snap. He’s mostly a lot of energy with strong opinions that Roy shares or just absorbs as his own. They decide to say they’ve known each other since last semester, but that it didn’t become anything until the first homework was due. They met in the library and shared a study room, Jamie charmed Roy. Not the other way around! They still don’t know how to explain the lack of interactions in front of the other alpha, Roy now knows is named Tess. Roy figures he would just say it was easier that way to keep his hands to himself. Oh so you’re a handsy alpha, interesting.
Jamie decided he calls Roy babe but Roy doesn’t fuck with pet names. He does, he so does. But if he starts calling Jamie baby he’ll never stop. They haven’t talked about mating yet, because they’re still new and this course is taking up all of their energy. But Jamie says he absolutely is thinking of introducing Roy to his mama, says that if it was real he would already be wanting to. Roy can’t think about that, about how he would want to introduce Jamie to Phoebe and Riley. And Keeley. They go to Roy’s more often than Jamie’s since Roy lives alone. Roy tells Jamie about his cat, Luci. Jamie’s eyes do that disney princess thing when Roy shows him the photos of the cat. Roy does not show Jamie the photos of Luci as a kitten because if he thinks about how small she was he gets emotional. It’s unbecoming.
They plan to walk into the lecture hall together, so there’s no chance that Tess can get her claws into Jamie. Roy will wait for Jamie but Jamie promised to try to be on time to being early.
By the time Roy has to bring them back to campus his cheeks hurt and Jamie says his stomach aches from laughing. Roy drives them to where Jamie parked his car and he parks a couple spots down from Jamie’s car. Jamie’s hands are wringing out the bottom of his shirt and he’s fidgeting in his seat. He’s stalling, Roy realizes with a start.
“Jamie?” Roy puts the car in park and turns his body to look at Jamie
“I have a silly question to ask.”
“I have a silly answer.” Jamie looks up for a second and then back down to his hands. Roy pokes him lightly in the shoulder. “C’mon, whatever it is can’t be that bad. Or it is and I kick you out of my car.”
“Oh hell, you’d never do that.”
“Once again, you literally do not know me that well. I very well could treat you poorly.” Jamie turns to him then and gives him a look.
“No you wouldn’t. Which is why I feel like my question is silly, I feel like no matter what you’re going to be all ‘oh i’m old as the dirt in the Grand Canyon and you’re as young as something really fucking young’ and I’ll feel pathetic. You’ll call me kid.” Roy laughs at Jamie’s rather good impression of him and holds his hand out for Jamie to take. He does. Roy stares at their hands for a minute, Jamie’s hands are large and cool where Roy’s are slender and warm. They fit kinda like a puzzle, he thinks.
“Go on, I’ll even close my eyes if that will make you feel better.” This nervous restless energy is new on Jamie, Roy wishes he knew how to help soothe it. He closes his eyes and rubs his thumb across Jamie’s hand and Jamie lets out a shaky breath.
“Should we practice kissing?” Except it sounds like shouldwepracticekissing? and Roy’s eyes pop open while he processes what Jamie asked. “No! You were supposed to keep your eyes closed. Oh god, forget it.”
“Why would we have to kiss? We only see her in class.” Roy asks him, he doesn’t know why he doesn’t just say yes. Everything inside of him is screaming YES! and he’s having a hard time ignoring it.
“No, I don’t know. Sometimes she’s at the library or the dining hall. I don’t want her to think we’re fake.” He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times. “Just so we look comfortable with each other. And all.” He blushes. “Commited, like.”
“If you wanted to kiss me you coulda just asked.” Roy says and Jamie’s eyes widen. “I mean we are fake boyfriends afterall.”
“Well then fake boyfriend, will you kiss me for practice even though we have burger breath?” Roy just laughs and unbuckles his seatbelt before leaning into Jamie’s space as he opens his own door.
Jamie tries not to look disappointed as Roy gets out of the car, but as Roy rounds the front of the car he watches Jamie follow him with his eyes. Roy opens Jamie’s car door and holds his hand out for Jamie to climb down. If he’s doing this, he’s doing it right.
“What are you doing?” Jamie whispers it. Roy just shakes his head as he closes the car door and positions Jamie in front of him. He walks so Jamie steps back into the car. When Jamie feels the car under his back his eyes go wide and he realizes what Roy’s about to do.
“Got to do it all proper.” Roy says before he puts his hand on Jamie’s cheek and the other around his waist. Jamie sucks in a breath when Roy spreads his hand to cover as much of Jamie as he can manage. “May I?” Jamie nods and Roy leans in.
It’s just a brush of lips, and then Roy isn’t sure who melts into it first. Roy’s lost in the way Jamie feels all around him. His hands on Roy’s back, the way his mouth tastes, the way Jamie makes a keening sound in the back of his throat. Jamie smells like peach cobbler baking on a sunny afternoon. It’s addicting, Roy presses closer and Jamie grips Roy tighter. Roy’s hand finds its way into Jamie’s hair and the moan Jamie lets out makes Roy pull back. Jamie keeps his eyes closed for a moment and then they stare at each other.
Jamie’s lips are pinker than normal and Roy has a hard time looking the omega in the eye. Jamie touches his lips with his fingers and then like they’re straight out of a romcom. He smiles, that one that Roy loves.
“Right. Well, you could maybe use some more practice, old man.” Roy rolls his eyes.
“Fuck you.” There’s no heat behind it.
“Why, do you think that was something special? Oh my god did I just rock Roy Kent’s world?” He puts a hand on Roy’s chest to push him away but Roy holds his hand there and stays put.
“Don’t be a dick, I think that would fool some knothead alpha. Don’t you?” Roy has to remind himself of her, to remind himself why he’s even doing this.
“Maybe one more?” Cheeky. But Roy obliges. Jamie sighs into Roy’s mouth and Roy lets Jamie take what he wants. Jamie pulls away first this time and then gives Roy one more peck before he reaches his arm behind him to unlock his car. “That was decent enough.”
Roy walks them both over the short distance to Jamie’s car. Jamie turns towards him and swings his hands like he’s not sure what to do.
“Well that was—”
“Yeah. Go on get in your car.” Jamie pouts but gets in his car and starts it. He rolls down his window and stares at Roy expectantly. “What?”
“If you were my alpha you’d give me one more kiss before I leave, I feel.” He sticks his head out the car door like he’s a dog.
“You’ve gotten enough of me today,” Jamie won’t walk away from this without breaking Roy’s heart, Roy is convinced. It’s whatever. “I’ll wait for you in the parking lot before class. Find my car?”
“And we can walk in together?”
“And we can walk in together.” Jamie nods and puts his car into reverse.
“Alright, quit loitering fuck. You’re soooo obsessed with me.” Roy laughs and steps back with his hands up. He walks back to his car but watches as Jamie calls out of his car. “Bye lover!”
The other people milling about in the parking lot turn to look and Roy can feel his face heat up. He gets in his car and watches Jamie drive out of view before he picks up his phone and calls Keeley.
“I’ve got a fucking problem.” He says when she answers.
“Christ, when don’t you? Alright. Come over tonight? We can cook.” And that’s the end of the phone call.
Roy drives to the parking lot outside of his next class and then sits in his car until the very last minute before walking to his classroom. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go to class, it’s just a bullshit to have to be a real human adult with responsibilities and shit and that he can’t go home and scream into his pillow about the mess he’s gotten himself into.
Throughout the length of both of his classes, Roy thinks about the way Jamie felt against him. He thinks about the way Jamie smelled when Roy kissed him. He thinks of the sounds Jamie made into his mouth. One of his professors calls on him to answer a question and he tells him he has no clue. His professor’s disappointment would normally get to him, make him feel inferior, but today he doesn’t care about anything other than Jamie fucking Tartt.
He doesn’t even stop at home to grab anything, he drives straight to Keeley’s and lets himself in with his key. She’s in her room when he gets there. She’s in the middle of jumping into a pair of her pink sweatpants when she sees him.
“Fuck it’s that bad?”
“It’s worse.”
She tuts and then walks towards him and gives him a quick hug.
“Alright, let’s get fucked up and talk about your problems, yeah?” He loves her.
She leads them to the kitchen and grabs them both a glass for wine. It’s still a little early to start cooking, but at this rate they might wind up getting take out and crying into their glasses. Keeley’s been dating this new omega girl and she’s been a bit of a difficult partner for Keeley. And Keeley does not ask for much, Roy would know. She leads him to the sofa and plops them both down with pillows.
“So I’ve told you about that omega in my class right?” Keeley swallows her wine loudly and tilts her head to the side.
“Which one is that again? The one who you have to hold your breath so you don’t smell his scent or the one that you white-knighted and saved from an aggressive alpha? Or the one that you’re absolutely definitely going to wind up falling for?” He shoves his face into the fuzzy pillow and screams. When he lifts his face from the pillow he’s got fuzz stuck all in his lips and beard and Keeley laughs as he tries to get it out.
“Fuck you, you know that’s all the same omega.”
“I know, love. I just felt like you would benefit from hearing the ridiculousness of the situation.” He whacks her with the pillow and she takes it from him and whacks him right back.
“Well, the more I learn about him the more I want to run and hide and never show my face again. What if I transferred to a different school? I could move?”
“Roy. It can’t be that bad. Take a drink. Tell me what’s happened! Now!”
“So his name is Jamie.” Keeley’s face does this thing and she motions for him to keep going. “He’s young. Too young probably. But he smells like summertime, like iced tea on my mom’s porch with the sun shining. It’s horrible how good he smells, all homey like. And he’s quick and funny, and fucking smart. He takes what he wants and asks for forgiveness, you know, he’s not an ask permission type. He’s. Too much for me.”
“That’s lovely Roy.” She looks pained as she says it. “But I have to tell you something that will either make you feel totally over it or absolutely possessive and alpha mad like in a fun way for Jamie. It’s up to you, I can keep it in.” She holds a hand to her chest signifying she intends to keep it in if he wants her to. She looks like she wants him to want her to tell him.
“Well, now I have to know.”
“But only if you’re really really sure.” Keeley’s voice does that thing where it goes up so high Roy know’s it’s bad. He nods and she takes a big breath. “So. Me and Jamie used to date. I think. Kinda. And like, not really!” Roy keeps nodding. Okay.
“Fuuuuuuuck.”
“It wasn’t anything serious! Mostly just sex! And he was a bit of a dickhead.” She winces, “which now that I’m saying that it doesn’t make it any better actually.” Roy takes a moment before he speaks, his mind is racing but one thought is the loudest. Mine mine mine. It’s gross and possessive and ugly and he shuts it the fuck down.
“Okay, well. He is not mine, or someone to own. He can do whatever he wants. I’m not entitled to his past or future.” Keeley nods and looks justifiably skeptical. “That makes this awkward. But not horrible.”
“Or really good because now I know exactly how to help you out.”
“No, no secret intel. It wouldn’t be fair to him.”
“Okay, but I could just give him the same secrets of yours?” Roy stares at her like she’s got three heads. “We talk occasionally, he’s really sweet when he’s not my boyfriend! Kinda like you.”
“Fucking christ do I have to tell him that we both dated you?” She winces and nods. “Fuck I should text him right?” Keeley squeals and claps her hands.
“Yes! Text him right now! I want to read your messages.”
He hands his phone to her before he sends Jamie a text, figure it would be easier that way.
“Wow Roy he’s like. Into you.” He scoffs and takes his phone back.
“He doesn’t even know me, shut up.” He looks through their texts to try to see what Keeley sees and he must miss it.
Hey, so I just found out something. Would like to discuss whenever it is convenient for you. He sends it before Keeley approves and she screams when she reads it.
“Fucking hell, make it seem like you have to tell him you’re fucking dying or some shit, why don’t you!”
Jamie doesn’t text back right away. But after about ten minutes of telling Keeley all that he learned over their lunch his phone rings from where it’s face down on the coffee table. When his screen flashes Jamie’s name he turns it to Keeley. Fucking facetime.
“He’s just like you, he loves talking on the phone.”
Keeley doesn’t leave the room or even move to get up from her spot next to Roy on her couch. He answers the facetime call with a wince.
“Roy what the fuck is wrong are you dying—wait are you at Keeley’s?” Jamie’s face goes from worried to pissed off.
“Right yeah, that’s what I have to tell you.” Jamie just sighs.
“Go on, you got back with her didn’t you?” He looks so dejected that it takes Roy a second to comprehend what he said.
“What? No I, wait what do you mean?” Roy asks Jamie and Keeley whacks him on the arm. Jamie picks up that Keeley is next to him.
“You couldn’t even wait until you’re not together to call?” He looks hurt and Roy can’t seem to find his words fast enough. Keeley takes the phone from him.
“Hi Jamie,” she says it soft, “me and Roy are not together. Never will be again.” She shows Jamie Roy and he’s shaking his head no as fast as he can.
“No! We aren’t.” Roy finally finds his words.
“Oh, okay then what’s up?” His voice perks up and Keeley hands Roy his phone back before she gets up to give them some privacy. Jamie looks at Roy with big concerned eyes.
“I just. Can’t wrap my head around you knowing that me and Keeley dated. And y’all dating.” Jamie looks away and bites his lip before answering. “You knew the whole time?” Jamie winces.
“Okay, but like, you can’t make fun of me.” Roy nods. “So after the first day of class, I knew I recognized your big head from somewhere. And I couldn’t figure it the fuck out, like at all, was driving me fucking crazy! And then Keeley popped up on my feed and I thought, let me just look and I scrolled back and then I saw a picture of you both. And that’s where I remembered you from.” He takes a breath and looks down. “Plus me and Keeley hardly dated, it was terrible I’m sure she told you.”
Part of Roy exhales, the other parts still feel like the world’s off its axis. Another part wants to tell Jamie to stop saying Roy’s got a big head.
“Okay.”
“Roy?” Jamie gets his attention and they study each other through the screen. “Is this a deal breaker for you?”
“Fuck no! I didn’t want it to be a deal breaker for you!” He says it quickly and Jamie’s face turns from concern to smugness so fast Roy regrets even answering in the first place.
“Okay, alpha. Don’t get all unglued.” It feels like someone hit Roy in the chest hard, like a drum. Alpha.
“I’m perfectly glued.”
“Right, totally. Absolutely.”
“No exactly.” Roy sees his eyebrows do a thing and Jamie laughs a bit.
“Yeah. See. I knew you wanted to kiss me again.” Keeley squeaks from where she stands in the doorway. Roy hadn’t even realized she came back in the room.
“No, fuck you. Shut up.” He’s not sure who he’s saying it to exactly but Roy groans at the matching smug looks on Jamie and Keeley’s faces. He stands up and walks outside to get some actual privacy from Keeley.
“Oh no. A secondary location, you’re about to say something stupid aren’t you?”
“Look.” He points to his chest. “I know alphas are supposed to be confident and self-assured and whatnot. But I don’t know. I just.” He goes quiet.
“Roy?”
“I don’t know why I’m second guessing everything we do. None of it is even fucking real!” Jamie’s face drops and Roy sighs. “It’s just even though this isn’t real, I want to be honest with you. Like I would if it were real.” Something flickers across Jamie’s face and he shakes his head.
“Well. I appreciate that you want to be honest with me Roy, but you could have dated the entire football team and it wouldn’t matter. I had a slut phase, we all go through it.” He shrugs as he says it.
“Our shitty school doesn’t even have a football team and I didn’t have a slut phase!” Jamie gives him a look. “Okay fine, when I was your age I definitely had a slut phase.”
“How dare you sleep with other people Roy!” Jamie even puts his hand on his heart and makes a dramatic fainting motion.
“Alright, alright. Point taken.” Jamie nods and smiles like he’s proud of himself, Roy realizes he honestly might be.
“Okay, now is that all you had to say to me? No other things you’re freaking out about? No other surprises?”
“You’re not the type of boyfriend who’s gonna make me match his outfits are you?” Jamie throws his head back and laughs and Roy just stares at the screen. “You’re such a fucking dick.” He says it with a smile on his face though.
“I mean, I love a coordinated moment. But I’d never make you do something you don’t wanna do like out of your comfort zone.” This whole thing is out of his comfort zone. “Like but also maybe, just so we look like we belonged together.” He blushes as he says it and Roy thinks there might be some hidden truth to his words.
“What like if I wear leather, you wear leather?”
“Kinky.” He waggles his eyebrows and Roy just growls. “Only joking, unless you’re down. But yeah just like that.”
Roy ignores Jamie and just nods. Keeley pokes her head out of the door.
“Roy? When you’re done with your omega can you come back inside, I’m starting dinner.” Roy watches Jamie sigh when Keeley calls him Roy’s omega and he doesn’t think about the way that hurts him.
“Yeah I’ll be right in,” she shuts the door behind her and Jamie clears his throat. “Right, we’re cooking dinner and watching some dating show. Just so you know what we’re up to.”
“I’m not jealous!”
“Never said you were.”
“Good, cause I’m not.” Roy wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, or kiss him, or something.
“Of course not.”
“Alright old man, I’ll let you go.”
“You gotta stop calling me that no one will think we’re dating if you’re always calling me fucking ancient.” He frowns because he knows it’s true.
“Nah, you’re my old man, aren’t ya?” God. He scratches his beard and hums to make Jamie wait.
“Suppose so.” Jamie smiles.
“Okay I’m not doing this whole you hang up, no you hang up thing like we’re twelve. I’ll text you.”
“Bye Jamie.”
“Byeeee.” He drags it out like those drag queens he showed Roy at lunch and ends the call.
He hangs his head low, what the fuck. He knows he has to go back in but he’s not quite ready to face Keeley’s questions. He grabs her pack of cigarettes and lights one. He doesn’t feel any better like she does when she smokes them but he smokes the whole thing anyway.
When he gets back inside Keeley leaves him alone. She sets him on the task of cutting and marinating the steak into bites as she works on preparing the salads. She lets him off the hook all the way through cooking and plating. She even lets him have his first bite of steak in peace. Roy opens his mouth to compliment the salad but Keeley beats him to it.
“Alright. I’ve let you stew long enough. Fuckin tell me everything! Now!” He sighs and chews another piece of steak.
“What do you want to know?”
“Fucking all of it! I don’t know, feel like you left out a bit earlier.” She waves her hands around and a piece of arugula goes rogue.
“I feel. Fucking stupid about him. Like I don’t even know him, I hardly know him I should say. But he makes my chest feel funny.” Keeley gives him a look but doesn’t elaborate on what it means.
“What kind of funny?”
“Like,” he slaps a hand to where he knows his diaphragm is on his chest, “right here it’s all. Squirmy and heavy and tight and warm? I don’t know, I think I might just have heartburn.”
“You’re cute when you have a crush you know.” She grins through her mouthful of steak.
“I do not have a crush. It’s definitely heartburn. I’m pushing forty, I don’t get crushes.” He points his fork at her.
“You do, Roy, and that’s okay.” She pats his hand in a quite frankly very condescending way. “You’re cute when you like someone. I forgot what that looked like on you.”
He plays with the food on his plate a minute before he musters the courage to ask Keeley what he needs to ask. So she asks him about what he really needs to talk about.
“I know you heard him talk about kissing, you can stop pretending like you didn’t.”
“I mean c’mon, Roy! You can’t just drop a bomb on me like that and expect me to not like lose my mind a bit!” He nods. “So like, set the scene! Tell me? Please?”
“So we did the lunch thing, I told you all that happened there. He was cute and flirty, I was probably awkward and fucking dumb.” Keeley throws a piece of carrot at him, he just pops it into his mouth. “So then I drove him to his car and he was all quiet and fucking weird? And then he goes ‘uh maybe we should practice kissing?’” He imitates Jamie’s southern accent poorly and Keeley screams.
“Oh my god tell me you said yes!”
“No I asked him what for?” Her face tells him that was the wrong thing to do.
“Roy.” She says it like he’s five. “When a pretty boy asks you to practice kissing.” She furrows her eyebrows at him, like he does to her. “You don't question it! You just say yes! My god have I taught you absolutely fucking nothing?!”
“I didn’t want to make it weird! Why would we even have to kiss? We only see this alpha in class!”
“That doesn’t fucking matter!” She shrieks. “God, what a useless alpha.” She says it with a laugh but he hears it all the same. He knows that was the root of their problems, Roy was much too much in their relationship and not enough at the exact same time. “Tell me you kissed him!”
“No I got out of the car,” she gasps, “and then I got him out of the car, and then I asked him if it was okay and then. Then I kissed him.” She kicks her legs and shakes her arm as she screams.
“Oh my god! Just take the man! Oh wow, I bet he liked it didn’t he?”
“I mean, it was fine.” He shrugs away from her and she goes to grabs his plate before he’s even finished. “No! Fine, it was. Too much? Not enough? Perfect? Awful? All of it.” He shoves a piece of
“That’s a lot to feel at once.” She looks like she wants to hold his hand or swaddle him or something.
“It’s horrible. Now fuck off that’s enough about that.” Keeley smirks and he knows she’s about to do the Miss Congeniality Bit. “No, please.”
“You liiiiike him, you wannnnaaa kisss him—“
“No!”
“You wanna looooove him, you wannnna mate him.” She puts her own twist on it and Roy groans.
“Fuck you forever.” She kisses him on the cheek and then grabs their now empty plates and he grabs their glasses.
They clean up and have one more glass before Roy leaves. He feels better and worse about the whole situation. He drives home and doesn’t even put on his playlist, he thinks the whole way home about what the fuck he’s actually doing. He’s pretending to be dating an omega, for what? To feel better about himself as an alpha? To get closer to the omega, to Jamie? And he can’t ignore the way he waits to hear from Jamie and can’t get enough of him. Everything he’s learned about Jamie has made him second guess everything he’s ever done or said about alphas and omegas.
By the time he makes it home he’s convinced himself he’s the most manipulative alpha to ever exist and that he’s taking advantage of Jamie for Roy’s selfish gain. He grabs his phone from where it is on the seat and he grabs his backpack. His phone vibrates in his hand with a text from Jamie Babie. Jamie himself did it, and Roy’s too fond of the peach and sparkle emojis that follow his name to change it.
this u
It’s a tiktok of an older man who’s playing the spoons to the country version of Motion Sickness.
Something loosens in his chest and he smiles despite himself. He responds with a quick Thank you.
Jamie immediately responds with are u mad at me? Roy question mark reacts and Jamie responds, when ppl type with periods i think they’re mad so r u mad?
No I’m not mad and he also sends, Just old fashioned, I will try not to use them
He puts his phone in his pocket and gets out of his car. Luci is at the door waiting for him when he opens the door and he has to shove her with his foot so she doesn’t run out. She screams as he puts his things down while she waits to be picked up. He eventually gets her in his arms and he goes through their routine of him feeding her and her screaming at him and then her coming to cuddle.
He showers and changes into his sleep shorts before he checks his phone again. He lays on his sofa and watches the news while Luci is still doing her after-feeding-screaming bit. She jumps up and lays right on his chest and starts purring. She biscuits in the air and he kisses her face as she stretches across him. He finally feels brave enough to see how Jamie responded.
Jamie heart reacted to him saying he wouldn’t use periods anymore and then two texts are glaring at him.
fuck u youre such a good alpha
im glad ur not back with keeley, id be heartbroken btw
Roy hadn’t responded for over thirty minutes and he just hopes Jamie isn’t nervous about that, he seems like the anxious type. He stares at the texts for a while before typing his response, and tries not to think about how hee feels like a teenager talking to his crush on fucking aim.
Sorry, I was feeding Lucifer, but fuck you you’re a good omega
And then another.
I’m committed to the bit now, we’ve got to see it through
He remembers a tiktok audio that Jamie showed him at lunch when Roy didn’t recognize Jamie’s references. He’s on a different side of tiktok apparently.
oh we’ve got a comedian on our hands
send a pic of luci !!!
Jamie texts back quickly. Roy opens up the camera and takes a photo of Luci on his chest, he doesn’t smile but Luci’s face is pressed up under his chin and her paws are around his neck like she’s hugging him. It’s angled so Jamie can see most of Luci’s body sprawled out across Roy’s. It’s good enough so he sends it.
It’s only after the typing bubbles appear, disappear, and then reappear once more that Roy notices the way his shirt was riding up in the photo. Giving Jamie a perfectly good view of his happiest trail as Keeley likes to call it. He feels like it was probably inappropriate to send but Jamie’s texts come through.
i’d die for luci she’s the most amazing incredible thing i’ve ever seen
ur alright too ig
Roy snorts and sends a Fuck you
*~**~* *~**~*
His weekend passes by in a blur. Jamie’s texts lighten up the way his mind tends to go dark about the whole situation. How he’s not a good enough alpha, how he feels about Jamie even though he hardly knows him, how he has no clue what the fuck he’s doing academically or personally. Keeley gives him a pep talk that consists of ‘woman up!’ and ‘tell him how you feel!” which is wholly unhelpful and he ignores the fuck out of his sister when she asks over dinner.
It’s the longest of weekend of his life, by the time Tuesday rolls around he’s convinced himself that he and Jamie will not fool Tess and that this will all be over before they even get to start. He wakes up earlier than he normally does because he couldn’t go back to sleep and there isn’t enough coffee in the world to make him feel human. He turns his shower as hot as it will go and washes his hair and by the time he feels dizzy he’s running behind.
He quickly puts product in his hair and brushes his beard for good measure. He picked out his outfit the night before like it’s fucking preschool. Jamie can never know about this, Roy gets the distinct feeling that he would never let him live it down. He takes one look in the mirror before he leaves.
“Good enough.” He frowns to himself as he says it but his hair is fluffy and there’s no cat fur on his clothes so he considers it a win.
He stops to get him and Jamie a coffee, his usual and a vanilla chai cold something for Jamie. Jamie didn’t ask for it but Roy thought it would be rude to show up without one for Jamie. Rationalized it by saying if Jamie were really Roy’s omega he’d buy him a coffee before class. He listens to a podcast about movies on his way in and then parks outside their lecture hall.
He doesn’t see Jamie’s car yet and he checks the time, it’s only a quarter past ten and they have about forty five minutes until class starts. He texts Jamie There are some parking spots next to my car, I’m here whenever you’re ready and he doesn’t get a reply right away, he thinks Jamie might be driving.
He cracks his windows even though it’s so hot he can feel the sweat starting to drip down his back. He wants to be able to hear the hum of Jamie’s engine. His little car makes so much noise, it’s not hard to hear coming. Roy wants to learn how to replace whatever part is acting up so he can fix Jamie’s car for him. If he also fantasizes about a scenario where he’s all sweaty in grease stained overalls and Jamie’s got a nice glass of iced tea for him when he’s done his work, that’s his business. He shakes his head, he has to be fucking normal about this. He can be fucking normal about this. He scrolls through twitter before he’s picking up the sound of Jamie’s car. He watches him drive over the empty parking spots, ignoring the rules of the parking lot. Roy rolls his eyes but he sees the smile on his face in one of his mirrors and scowls at himself.
The closer Jamie gets the more Roy can hear his music. He’s absolutely fucking blaring it. Touch me baby! Touch me, touch me, touch me, touch me! Jamie pulls into the spot right next to Roy’s, he’s not even watching, he’s smiling big at Roy and waving at him. God, he’s fucking reckless. Won’t you fucking touch me? I just want to touch you! Jamie’s car blares at him. Jamie rolls up his windows, muffling the sound and then he shuts his car off. Roy turns his off too and goes to grab his things.
Roy is out of his car before Jamie somehow, with his backpack slung across one side and both coffees in his hands. He takes a sip of his and his fingers itch for another one of Keeley’s cigarettes. Jamie’s door finally creaks open and he hears the omega groan as he gets out.
“Oh my god I sooo don’t wanna be here!” He whines and Roy has to bite his smile down.
“Well, fuck you too.” Jamie pouts at Roy.
“You know I don’t mean you.”
“I hardly know you, you could mean anything.” If looks could kill.
“You know fucking plenty about me, sir.” He pokes Roy in the chest when he reaches him. “You know more than my mama does at this point, I think.” Roy feels a swoop in his chest and he grunts. That can’t possibly be true.
“Here. Shut up.” He’s thankful for the lid on the cup because he would have splashed all over Jamie’s soft pink hoodie. How he wears a hoodie in 90 degree weather, Roy will never know.
“Aww, thanks alpha.” Roy clears his throat to stop the growl threatening to come out. Jamie moans as he takes a sip. He looks beautiful Roy thinks, with his eyes closed and the sunshine hitting his skin just right. Perfect. “This is fucking amazing. Which shop do you go to?”
“There’s one by my house.” Jamie’s eyes bug out.
“You have a whole house?” Roy just blinks at him. “Christ you’re fucking old. Probably all financially stable with a mortgage and property taxes and shit, fucking hell.” Roy laughs.
“It’s a small house, nothing fancy.”
He bought it when it was still a functioning double, and when the tenant moved out he converted the house to a one family home. It’s got a wrap-around porch with rocking chairs and stained glass windows. It’s a one and a half story with three bedrooms and an office, a kitchen nice enough for him, a swanky bathtub in the primary bedroom, and a pool in the backyard. Upstairs has a playroom for Phoebe, completely decked out with anything she could possibly dream of. The house looks older than it is, fits right in in his neighborhood. He’s proud of his home, he worked hard to get it. Destroyed his career playing a game that paid for it. Nothing fancy.
“Ugh, I live in the shittiest apartment in midcity and my landlord keeps raising our rent. We’re gonna be searching for new places next semester. You’re so lucky you don’t have to deal with that shit.” He says the last bit through the straw stuck in between his teeth. Roy ignores the voice in the back of his head that wants to offer his home to Jamie, to make a place for him at his table, to have him for family dinners.
“When I was 25, I lived in a really shitty apartment too. Just think.” He leans in closer to Jamie, “when you’re this fucking old, you’ll be in a fancy house that’s all your own.” Roy can’t decipher the series of emotions that cross Jamie’s face, but he doesn’t think that was the right thing to say.
“Ugh, whatever Roy. I don’t wanna think about how I’ll be forty and fucking alone.” Ouch, but mostly true. Roy is alone.
“Right.” It’s awkward. Roy’s ruined it. He looks at his phone and sees they need to start walking towards the building, he puts his phone back in his pocket. They can’t keep stalling. “Hey, we can’t keep stalling.”
“I know.” He sounds distant. Roy reaches out with his free hand to touch Jamie’s shoulder but then pulls it back. He does not hear a small pitiful whine leave Jamie’s mouth, but he does step closer into his space and sends out some soothing pheromones like he does when Phoebe is sad. “Look, I’m going to be right next to you the entire time. And eventually Colin will be there too. So I need you to be the little dickhead I know you to be, and start teasing the shit out of me so it seems like we’re courting or something.” He says it quickly, ignores the way his heart feels.
“Oh so if I’m mean to you you’ll fall in love with me too?” Roy shoves him back and Jamie just gets right in his space. “That’s fine.” Jamie tilts his head and gives Roy the quickest of kisses. “Come on, let’s go rub our love in her face.” They start walking to the hall and Jamie grabs Roy’s hand and starts swinging it between them.
Jamie’s rambling about the textbook that Roy has been pointedly ignoring when he stops them short in the middle of the grass.
“Roy. We don’t smell like each other.”
“What do you mean?”
“If we were fucking we would smell like each other.” Roy blames the sun for the way his face heats up but he sees how it matches the blush on Jamie’s. “I mean, dating. Courting or whatever. We would smell like each other. I just smell like,” he sniffs his armpit. “Fucking dirt and my deodorant. And you smell like—”
Jamie puts his nose directly to Roy’s throat. Where it meets his shoulder. Roy’s pretty sure he stops breathing, that his heart stops beating, that he falls right where he stands because he’s dead. Jamie’s face is warm where it’s pressed into Roy, and Roy can smell him so clearly now. Freshly turned soil, mint tea, hint of peach, a dash of lemon. Fucking refreshing. He lingers a bit longer than Roy thinks he intended to.
“Like, night bloomin jasmine and amber and pretty things.” He looks a bit frantic. “We smell nothing alike, if she uses her nose she’ll know we’re lying. Oh my god Roy, this is over before it even started. You know what? It was nice talking to you. But I’m going to drop out of college now. Byeeee!” He turns to walk away and Roy reaches out and gets his wrist. He’s so cold even under the sunlight.
When Jamie turns to Roy, Roy moves his hand to Jamie’s hoodie pocket and holds Jamie in place next to him.
“Come here.” His voice is low, Jamie shivers. Roy lets his backpack drop to the ground and puts his coffee next to it. Jamie drops his shit unceremoniously. Roy pulls him towards him and Jamie melts into him.
This is highly inappropriate in the middle of campus for anyone to see, but maybe that will help their case. Jamie takes a big breath and Roy does the same and then he can feel Jamie relax in his arms. He has one hand on the back of Jamie’s neck, too intimate, and the other wrapped tightly around his back. Jamie’s are everywhere. Trying to get Roy closer to him. Roy doesn’t read into it. But he nuzzles into Jamie’s neck and Jamie whines. Roy can smell peaches more than anything and the smell of campfire smoke.
Jamie lets go first. Roy feels disappointment coarse through him. Jamie steps back enough to stick his face back into Roy’s chest. Jamie hums.
“Now we smell like a summer bonfire.” Yeah. They do. Like they’re in front of a bonfire at the start of summer and it’s sunset with beers and friends and it doesn’t end till past midnight. Roy clears his throat.
“Satisfied?”
“Very. Now come on, alpha. We’re gonna be late!” Jamie pulls Roy by the hand and he has to rush to grab his things. He throws his coffee away once they’re inside the building. He suddenly feels wide awake. Jamie turns to Roy once they’re outside their classroom. “Okay, are you ready?”
“Jamie, are you ready?” Jamie shakes his head no. “We can wait, we still have about ten minutes.”
“No, I know you’re probably itching to get into your spot. Freak.” He says it fondly, but Roy bares his teeth anyway. Jamie smiles. “Okay. You’re my boyfriend, and we are quite fond of each other.”
“I’m your boyfriend and we are quite fond of each other.” He parrots and Jamie lets out a long slow breath.
“Okay, fuck it let’s go.” And then Roy is following Jamie like the supposed good boyfriend that he is. “Start talking some shit but in the middle so it doesn’t look like we just started talking as a defense mechanism.” Jesus, he thinks of everything. Jamie opens the door and they both walk in.
“So she turns to me and says,” he puts on his best Phoebe voice, “‘Uncle Roy, where do you keep your boobies?’ and that was when I realized we had to discuss what we were actually watching on Drag Race. She was very disappointed to find out that not all men do drag.” He finishes as they’re walking into their row in the front of the lecture hall.
“So she just thought you kept forgetting to put your boobs on?” Jamie’s cackling and Roy tries not to feel too pleased with himself for making Jamie laugh like that. Even if it’s fake.
“Totally, she was like ‘well, you never put on lashes, but yours are long enough. You would have to do something about your eyebrows though!’ I chased her round the house just for that smack.” Jamie shoves his shoulder and they both plop into their seats. Tess doesn’t turn around immediately but Roy watches her tense up, waiting for her moment.
“You’d have to wax your entire body, but you’re def pretty enough, babe!” He ignores the way he feels warm and funny when Jamie calls him babe, and is about to tell Jamie that no I’m not, but you’re definitely pretty enough to do drag, when Tess turns around.
“Jamie, baby. How are you?” Roy realizes he’s growling too late and Jamie smacks him in the stomach.
“He’s fine.” Turns out he cannot help himself.
“I wasn’t asking you.” She says it like he’s scum on the bottom of her tacky shoes, she then turns to Jamie with a sick smile. “I was asking Jamie!”
“Oh, um. I’m good. Great.” She cuts him off before he can continue, Roy positions his shoulder so Jamie can lean into him and he does.
“Great, so I’ve been texting you about getting together.” Jamie nods and Roy tilts his head, he hadn’t known she was texting him like that still. “And you keep ignoring me.” She does her voice higher like she’s a whiny little brat.
“Yeah, you know. We’ve just been so busy.” Tess’s jaw tenses and Roy wants to laugh in her face. “Roy took me to meet his niece this weekend. She’s so lovely, we had such a great family dinner.” Oh he’s good. Her nostrils flare.
“How. Delightful.”
“Yeah, was pretty fucking nice.” Roy chimes in and then Tess is turning to him and he thinks she wouldn’t be acting like this if she didn’t actually feel threatened by Roy. So they’re believable. Jamie puts a hand on Roy’s knee.
“So we were just wrapped up in each other all weekend you know.” He even manages to look flustered, Roy’s going to have to give him a gold star for acting or something.
Tess opens her mouth to say something else as Roy turns to say lowly into Jamie’s ear.
“She believes us.” Jamie’s body shudders when Roy speaks, he’s gonna have to get him a fucking oscar at this rate.
“Do you mind? That’s fucking rude!” Tess says. And Roy turns to her and he knows his face isn’t the cool-and-unaffected one. It’s the back-the-fuck-off-before-I-make-you one. He’s been working on not making that one as often.
“No, you know what’s fucking rude?” He speaks slowly and clearly. “You throwing yourself at my omega in front of my fucking face.” She rolls her eyes.
“I don’t see a ring on his finger or a mark on his neck.”
“Okay, what is this, the nineteen fifties?” Jamie pipes up and then Colin is running in with his heavy footsteps.
“Hey lovebirds. Alpha who’s name I don’t know and don’t care about.” He sits down in a huff and his bag whacks Tess on the shoulder and she scowls at him. Roy snorts and Jamie smacks him again, Roy just grabs his hand and holds it there for a second before letting him go. “Anyway, y’all would not believe the shit I just saw in the parking lot.” Tess does not turn back around in her seat and Colin just says, “I’m sorry, I’m talking to my friends, mind your goddamn alpha business!”
And Roy’s gotta treat Colin to a coffee or something, Roy isn’t sure if he knew what was being said before he walked up, but he diffused the tension well enough. He’s a sassy little thing. Colin launches into a story about a squirrel and a pigeon fighting over a vape that Roy has a hard time believing, but he knows anything goes on this campus.
Dr. Higgins comes rushing in, red Hawaiian shirt, khaki blazer, and blue plaid pants today. Fucking psychopath. “Good morning, scholars!”
Eventually, Dr. Higgins is talking about neurogenesis when Roy is distracted by the way Jamie’s body presses up against his. He can still smell the way their scents combined and he feels like he’s getting dizzy with it. He hopes this doesn’t trigger a rut because he can’t deal with that right now. Colin keeps giving him looks over Jamie’s shoulder so he’s sure he’s stinking the place up right now. Roy’s notes get less and less coherent and he knows he’s going to regret not being present later, but for now he just relishes in the way Jamie feels and smells.
Jamie fidgets in his seat until Roy puts one arm around his shoulders, like he’s resting his arm on the back of Jamie’s chair and Jamie relaxes into him. Roy positions his arm so it’s always touching Jamie and Jamie pushes his knee into Roy’s like that first time. Roy is distracted by his own breathing for the last thirty minutes of class, but he tries to keep up with the lecture. He’s trying to calculate how many hours he needs to put into the textbook assignments on top of the rest of his fucking classes.
Jamie laughs at Dr. Higgins’ jokes but because he actually thinks he’s funny. Roy shouldn’t be fond of that but he is. Jamie leans forward in his seat at one point and Roy takes his arm back, he tries to not be disappointed by the distance. It shouldn’t even fucking matter to him, so he doesn’t understand why he feels the way he does. It’s not even real.
Class ticks by and eventually Dr. Higgins is shouting at them to not forget about turning in their article on Thursday. As usual, a group of students heads to the front of the classroom where Dr. Higgins is so they can talk to him about whatever the fuck it is they talk to him about. Roy usually just packs up and fucking leaves, but he’s not entirely sure what the move is. They discussed walking in, but not so much walking out. Roy packs up slowly to match Jamie’s languid movements. Colin is already standing and ready to go. Tess left before Roy even closed his notebook. A win.
Jamie turns to look at him and he doesn’t speak right away, Roy’s eyebrows do something and Jamie’s opening his mouth to speak.
“Jesus fucking christ, did y’all get worse? This is gross, meet me out in the hall when you’re done being disgusting.” He stomps away, Roy’s decided he quite likes him, he’s like an annoying little brother.
“Sorry about him.” He doesn’t look it.
“Nah, he’s a good kid.”
“He’s like my annoying little brother.” Roy snorts. “C’mon, wanna go to lunch with us?” Roy shouldn’t, but he somehow doesn’t have work and Phoebe is all taken care of and he doesn’t have any more classes.
“Yeah, where do y’all go?” He asks as he stands up and he holds a hand out to Jamie for him to stand up as well. Jamie smiles as he does.
“We just go to the dining hall, we could probably go somewhere nicer if you wanted?” Roy makes a disgusted face and shakes his head, he doesn’t need nice, he needs to eat. “Let’s go get my boy and then we can go.”
Roy follows Jamie out of their row and towards the hallway outside of the lecture hall, he follows closely but still stops short when Jamie does. Colin is not in the hallway where he said he would be and it’s comical how Jamie turns around in a wide circle looking for him. They both hear Colin’s laugh down the hall and follow it. Colin’s talking to someone who sits farther down in their row. Jamie crosses his arms.
“What a fucking social butterfly.” Jamie says it with a frown, but Roy can see the smile threatening to break out on his face.
“Yeah he never shuts the fuck up does he.” Roy watches Jamie watch Colin and Jamie turns to look at him.
“No, he does not. Gotta love him though.”
“Yeah, no of course. Gotta.” Jamie bumps Roy’s shoulder with his own.
“Shut up, come on, let's grab him and drag him away like we’re kidnapping him.” Jamie says with a shit eating grin on his face, and really. Who is Roy to say no?
“Done.”
They grab Colin, they link an arm on each side and drag him out, but they’re all laughing by the time they’re back on the grass.
“The fuck was that for? Fuck you Roy, I don’t need you two ganging up on me.” Roy throws his hands up.
“Wasn’t my idea.”
“Throw me under the bus, the fuck?” Jamie says under his breath but Roy still hears it he reaches out to touch Jamie’s arm as if to say, sorry my love. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him.
“So you just blindly follow, good to fucking know.” Roy normally would growl at that and mean it, but because Colin is a little shit and Jamie’s right next to them, he bares his teeth and fake growls at him. “Oh my god, disgusting.” Colin checks his phone and starts smirking. Jamie groans.
“You’re about to ditch us aren’t you?” Jamie asks and Roy watches as Colin pretends to look guilty.
“It’s not my fault my beautiful stunning boyfriend wants to hang out with me.” He shoves his nose up in the air, and Roy gets the feeling that this is a common fight they have. “Besides, you have your own fake beautiful stunning boyfriend to hang out with!”
Roy and Jamie both stutter out responses but eventually Colin is shouting a goodbye and walking towards his dorm on campus. Roy and Jamie walk silently to where their cars are parked and Roy doesn’t know what to do to break the tension.
“Want to eat on or off campus?” Roy asks him and Jamie looks up from the keys in his hand.
“Are you paying?” Jamie smirks as he asks.
“Sure, what do you want?” Jamie’s mouth drops open. “What?”
“I was fucking with you, you don’t have to pay for me.” He smacks Roy’s arm and Roy just smacks him back.
“I don’t mind, it’ll be my good deed for the day. Feeding the hungry.”
“Ugh shut up, Roy.” He says it with an eye roll and a smile. Roy thinks that’s his second favorite face on him. “Go on then, take me somewhere nice.”
So Roy does. This time Roy takes them to a place where he knows they have a good caesar salad and Jamie does a little happy dance in his seat when it arrives at the table. His research paid off it seems. They talk about how they definitely need to start working on their homework for the class and how they both really don’t want to.
“It’s not that I don’t like it!”
“Right or that it’s not interesting.”
“Exactly! It’s just—”
“A lot.” They both say. Jamie smiles at him and slurps down the rest of his diet coke.
“I just don’t remember college being this hard when I was your age.” Jamie looks at him in confusion.
“What do you mean?” His words are muffled.
“You know I’m old enough I can hardly hear you.” Roy teases him and Jamie makes a big show of chewing his food and swallowing it.
“What. Do. You. Mean?” Roy rolls his eyes.
“This is my second go round, I thought I told you that.”
“You absolutely have not.”
“Yeah, I went fresh out of high school. I had a full ride for football.”
“Oh my god.” His eyes go wide.
“And I got signed after graduation.”
“Oh my god?” Somehow, his eyes get even wider and his mouth also drops open. Roy has to look away from his mouth and down at his sandwich. “You went pro?”
“I got a head injury that ended my career in the sixth game of the season.”
“Roy Middle Name Kent.”
“You know my middle name.” Roy just looks at him as he takes a bite.
“Fuck you, why didn’t you lead with this!” Roy shrugs. “Wait fuck, is your brain okay?”
“Now it is, been long enough. I had a skull fracture and concussion and it fucked with my motor functions. Now it’s only noticeable in certain situations, I can’t ride a bike or run in a straight line, hearing’s wonky in one ear. That type of shit.”
“I don’t know what’s sadder. The career ending injury or the fact that you can’t ride a bike.”
“Oh fuck you.” Roy throws a chip at Jamie, he catches it and eats it.
“Thanks. Wait.” He finishes chewing. “Are you like. Famous?”
“Oh fuck no, I mean. A little bit.” Jamie shrieks and the old bat next to them turns to glare them down. Jamie pokes his tongue out at her. “In my hometown.”
“Like do kids wanna grow up to be you? With your little poster on their walls?” He leans in closer to Roy when he asks. “I’d hang your poster on my wall, Roy.” He says it so earnestly that Roy has to look away.
“No, I was just a success statistic for them. No one ever.” He waves his hand about, “gets out.”
Jamie says he’s proud of him and Roy tells him more about how horrible high school was. Jamie was a star in high school, everyone loved him. That makes sense to Roy, he thinks he would have gotten sucked into his orbit. Jamie talks about the time he took in between high school and starting up at the university, he couldn’t go to school without scholarships and he and his mom couldn’t afford tuition. He spent the time driving across the country and taking odd jobs, to save up and travel and gain experience in the world before coming back to take care of his mom. She’s fine, I just like being close.
Their waiter takes their plates when they’re finished and Jamie wants to split a brownie. They “split” it, but in reality Roy has about three bites of it before Jamie finishes off the whole thing over a story about how he and his stepdad were runners up in a baking competition once. Roy pays because he said he would, but Jamie throws a couple of bills down to add to the tip.
As they walk to the car Roy puts his hand on the small of Jamie’s back, and then Roy realizes what he’s doing and takes his hand back. He kicks himself over it the entire ride home. Jamie talks about his English class and Roy nods and responds so Jamie knows he’s paying attention, but Roy thinks Jamie knows he’s distracted.
He pulls into a spot near Jamie’s car and puts his car in park. Jamie doesn’t unbuckle right away but he does reach up to lower the volume.
“Hey, you went weird. What’s happening?” Roy takes a deep breath and he smells the car, it smells like a burnt lemon pastry.
“I’m in my head. I’m okay.” Jamie doesn’t look like he believes him. “I promise I’m alright.”
“Would you tell me if you weren’t?” He’s looking anywhere but at Roy. He wishes he could reach across and turn his face towards him.
“Look, I told you I will be honest with you.” Jamie nods, and Roy touches Jamie’s wrist. “I’m okay, just overthinking it.”
Jamie turns his hand over so Roy can move his fingers to his. Roy traces up the palm of Jamie’s hand and slides his fingers between Jamie’s. Roy feels reverent, like the warmth shared between their hands is something to worship. His chest feels funny, like heartburn but in the core of his being. Roy’s not sure how long they sit like that, with the only sound being Roy’s erratic breathing, both staring down at their hands—where they’re connected. Jamie sighs and Roy snaps out of it.
“Fuck, sorry.” He goes to pull away but Jamie lingers for a moment before letting him go.
“S’alright. Was nice, warm.” Roy hmms. Neither of them speak. “Do you want to go to the library after class on Thursday? We can get lunch on the way.”
“Yes.” He says without thinking. “I’m pretty sure.” He’ll make sure.
“Nice, I’ll book us a room.” Fuuuuck. Roy nods. “I’ll invite Colin.”
Roy lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Something about being alone in a room with Jamie seems like a bad idea.
*~**~* *~**~*
Turns out, being alone in a room with Jamie was a bad idea. Colin bailed, the absolute fuckwit. He wanted to go home to his boyfriend, and Roy can’t blame him. If he had a boyfriend, for real, he wouldn’t want to go to the fucking library with some guys from class.
They waited in line for so long in the union, that Roy started to get frustrated. Jamie called him a hangry monster until they sat in their private study room and started eating. Roy can’t even deny it, he’s an alpha, it’s in his blood or whatever. Plus it’s not his fault that his brain decided to fucking reboot or go back to factory settings as Jamie would say. Dr. Higgins had said some silly phrase for them to try to remember the dorsal column system and Jamie laughed out loud. Which wouldn’t be weird, but he was the only student to laugh, and Jamie tucked his face into Roy’s shoulder to hide from wandering eyes. The way he pressed his face into Roy’s shoulder, made him feel like a live wire.
He’s been frazzled ever since, so if Jamie thought he was hangry he considers it a win for his acting skills. Jamie just looks so soft today. His hair is fluffy like he just washed it and he’s wearing a boygenius hoodie. Roy doesn’t know how to tell him what’s going on in his head, but he knows it’s not fair to keep it to himself. How does he say hey, I know this is fake, but I can’t help wishing it was real, without scaring him off. So he just says nothing of the sort. He’s going back on his word, but he figures his feelings will ruin this whole experiment that they’re doing. Plus he doesn’t need Jamie to feel uncomfortable with another alpha’s unwanted interest.
They eat and talk about the dumb questions that were asked today.
“I mean it’s like,” he’s chewing too big of a bite of his sandwich but Roy doesn’t mind, “how the fuck would Higgins know about this bitch’s grandma’s balance or herniated disks or whatever?”
“No, I know.” Roy agrees, but he knows Jamie isn’t finished.
“Like oh my fucking god, why do they ask him questions about this stuff? Like he’s a PhD doctor not a MD doctor! He specializes in schizophrenia not the little fucking snails in your ears!”
“Snails?”
“The cochlea, catch up old man.” Roy snorts. Jamie’s right, there are little snails in their ears. “God, it's so clear he wants to answer our questions though, that's the thing. You can tell he’s like horny to be scientific and shit.”
“You think Dr. Higgins is horny?” Roy shakes his head as he says it, feels like he’s talking about his fucking dad or something. “He blushes when he says the word genitals.”
“Ew. No. I mean like he’s excited to answer questions like, he’s happy we care enough to ask him questions.”
“Just fucking say that, christ.”
“You’re supposed to just understand me Roy! God, people think we’re courting.” He’s so goddamn dramatic.
“You’re so goddamn dramatic.” He can feel his smile as he says it and Jamie smiles back at him. “And hardly anyone thinks that. No one is paying attention to us.” Jamie pouts.
“Whatever, you’re still here.” Jamie says it like a challenge and Roy juts out his chin and glares down at Jamie. He doesn’t wither, he stands tall under Roy’s glare.
“Right where you want me, right?” Jamie’s face does something that Roy can’t place but he looks away and there’s a blush high on his cheeks.
“Fuck you, eat your sandwich and think about the cranial nerves needed to eat.”
Jamie scrolls through instagram and then twitter and then tiktok, before starting the cycle over again once he gets bored with whatever is on his feed. And Roy does as he’s told, he thinks he remembers all of the ones used in digestion by the time Jamie’s done with his sandwich.
“I think I’ve got it.” Jamie looks up confused. “The cranial nerves needed to eat.”
“What? Roy I was fucking with you.”
“Yeah, but it’s good practice. So I think it’s the hypoglossal, glossopharyngeal, facial, and trigeminal.” He counts on his fingers and Jamie scrolls through his ipad to find their notes.
“Hmm. Yeah, but I think olfactory too. Because smell makes flavor and stuff.” Roy nods.
“I knew I was forgetting one. Do you think vagus too?”
“Yeah cause intestines. We’re probably forgetting one though.”
“That’s alright, we know things. We can do well on this exam.”
“No, Roy. We’re going to absolutely crash and burn. But it’s cute that you still have hope. How are you on the different neurotransmitters?”
“Shit.” Jamie winces.
“Okay, we can just keep up like moral support and stuff!” Roy thinks this is a bad idea, to keep making this go deeper than their original arrangement.
“Fuck yeah, we can hold each other accountable.” Jamie’s face does that thing that Roy can’t decipher. “Hey, we’ll do okay.”
“We’re gonna die, but again hope is cute.”
The evening passes by in a blur of Jamie getting frustrated and Roy getting so upset he has to take a lap of the library. They’re both smart is the thing, they both have above a 3.5 gpa, Roy’s won awards, Jamie’s won scholarships. They’re smart and hardworking and good enough people. But this fucking class it’s going to kill them both. Dr. Higgins is great, he’s a renowned scholar in his field and he’s got multitudes of wisdom knocking around in his tiny little head.
But they’re having to teach themselves fucking neuroscience and it’s hard to know if they’re teaching themselves correctly. Jamie has hit the point of “I don’t even give a fuck anymore I’ll drop out of school” and Roy has hit the “I’m too old for this fucking bullshit” stage. Jamie groans and face plants into his ipad, and Roy looks up from where his head is shoved so close to his laptop screen it takes a second for his eyes to focus on Jamie.
“Have you hit a wall? It’s almost time for us to leave anyway.” They only have the room until 5:30, it’s almost 5 and Roy wouldn’t be upset if they fucked off early.
“I wanna go home and get so high I forget every little thing we just learned.”
“Like how cannabinoids fuck with your goddamn memory?” Jamie smiles so big Roy sees all of his teeth.
“Exactly like that.”
“Well alright then, let’s get you out of here.”
Jamie slams his ipad case shut and packs his bag faster than Roy’s ever seen him do. Jamie catches the look on Roy’s face and rolls his eyes.
“Like you weren’t begging to leave three hours ago.”
“I’ve never begged in my life.”
“Something tells me that’s a lie but, whatever helps you sleep at night, alpha.” Roy groans and Jamie gathers their trash to throw away outside the room.
They get all of their shit and they bring the room key down to the apathetic fuck at the front desk. Eventually they make it to where they’re parked and Roy can tell they’re both stalling.
“So I got more done than expected, but still feels like I didn’t get shit done. How do you feel?” Jamie asks him, the sun is low in the sky and is shining from behind him. Golden hour.
“Beautiful.” Jamie cocks his head and Roy realizes what he’s said. “I feel beautiful about the progress I’ve made.”
“Weird, I feel like shitty.” Jamie throws his arms out wide and stretches, he moves his arms up and his hoodie lifts up, Roy mustn't look away fast enough because Jamie’s got a smirk on his face. “We should do this again.”
“What? Pretend to get work done so we go home feeling good about ourselves?” Jamie snorts.
“Exactly that.”
“Alright, sounds fun I’m in.” Jamie seems shocked. “What? Getting barely anything done with you is a hell of a lot better than getting barely anything done by myself.”
“Aww does my pretty face make that much of a difference?”
“Yeah, your ugly mug makes me feel much better academically.” Jamie just scowls and then turns to put his bag in his car and turn on his engine.
“Fuck you, you love my face.” Jamie says confidently, and Roy can’t find it in him to disagree, but he shakes his head anyway. “Enough about how into me you are.”
“Yeah yeah.” Roy rolls his neck and shoulders, he’s gotta get home to his sister and Phoebe. It’s his night to cook dinner. “I gotta go feed my little gremlin of a niece.”
“Phoebe night?” Jamie’s face is doing that soft smile thing he does that makes Roy’s insides feel like molten lava.
“Yeah, she’s a monster.”
“She loves you.”
Roy just stares at Jamie for a minute, the sun has gotten lower and the breeze from the lake is finally starting to make an appearance.
“I can’t wait for it to get cooler.” Jamie makes a sound that reminds Roy of Keeley.
“It’s my favorite, everyone’s all bundled up and cute.” Roy doesn’t think they get much bundle up weather, but eventually (December) it will get cold enough for him to wear a coat.
“You’re always bundled up and cute.” Roy rolls his eyes at himself, fuck. He’s apparently incapable of playing it fucking cool. Jamie rolls his eyes.
“Gross, you’re obsessed with me.” He’s got the biggest fuck-you-smile on his face and Roy shoves his shoulder, Jamie shoves his back.
Then it’s just them two with barely any space between them, with the breeze blowing their scents around them and the hum of Jamie’s car running. Roy wants to reach out and pull Jamie towards him so there’s no space left. Wants to hold him close and stick his nose right into his neck. Jamie looks like he’s ready to leave so Roy takes a small, impossible step backwards.
“Okay, it’s time for us to leave. We’ve been on campus far too long.” Jamie says, his voice is deeper than normal. Roy clears his own throat.
“Right.” Jamie holds his arms open for a goodbye hug and something pulls in Roy’s chest. He leans in without hesitation.
They hug longer than they should, Jamie’s face all tucked up into Roy’s neck and Roy’s pressed to Jamie’s. Jamie sighs and then moves away.
“Thanks. I think I needed that.” If Roy had a tail it would wag.
“Oh, uh. Anytime.” He finds he means it, and Jamie smiles that one smile again.
“Okay, bye dork.” He waves and gets in his car.
Roy watches him for a moment before turning to his own car door. When he gets in the heat envelops him and almost chokes him when he turns on the car. God, maybe he needs to start turning his car on when Jamie does. He buckles and plugs his phone in and turns to see Jamie watching him. Jamie waves really big and then pulls out faster than he should before zooming out of the parking lot. Roy shakes his head. Reckless, reckless omega.
*~**~* *~**~*