Danse Macabre

by CopiaPerson

Summary:

You had been working at the local hospital as a nurse, occasionally doing desk work at the entrance counter as well, such as administrative work, welcoming visitors, checking forms.

A while ago, there had been a car accident and a woman was brought in, heavily wounded. It had been Miss Imperator, or as she was called in the satanic Ministry just outside of town, Sister Imperator. She had recovered quite well and would have her bandages removed for the final time, today, after which she was allowed to return home. This is where you would meet the Cardinal.

Notes:

Chapter 1 word count: 5556

Chapter 1: Danse Macabre

A while ago, there had been a car accident and a woman was brought in, heavily wounded. It had been Miss Imperator, or as she was called in the satanic Ministry just outside of town, Sister Imperator. She had recovered quite well and would have her bandages removed for the final time, today, after which she was allowed to return home. The old satanic pope of the ghost ministry accompanying her had come across a little confused, but today he had already come in, nodded to you sternly and stalked off to Miss Imperator’s room.
You were lazily rifling through some files, it had been a very slow day. Suddenly, you heard the doors opening while a man came stumbling in. He straightened his hair and walked up to you. His black cardinal getup with the biretta on his head, leather gloves on and a bouquet of very dead flowers, made you assume he was here for Miss Imperator as well. He stopped at the desk, looking at you tentatively and said ‘Ah...eh, hello, good morning. Could you please point me to Sister Imperator’s room? I, eh...brought her these flowers…’ He seemed a little aloof, as if he didn’t know how to carry himself. You realized you had been staring at him. ‘Eh...per favore…’ his voice trailed off. Snapping out of it, you nodded at him and replied. ‘Oh! Of course. Yes, I’m sorry, of course.’ You decide to walk with him to the room. He was walking a little fast, looking nervous. Pointing him towards the room, he stopped dead in his tracks and seemed to gulp down large breaths of air. You stepped closer to him, studying his face. ‘Are you okay? If it’s because of the bandages being removed, I know it can be quite confrontational as most people haven’t ever seen their loved ones in this state. But rest assured, she has been doing very well and healing very well.’ You smiled at him encouragingly, hoping you were being helpful. He turned his head towards you, he was clutching his little bouquet very tightly. You chuckled a little. ‘ Cardinal…it’s cardinal, right?’ you had heard of him before and seeing his clothing, you assumed this was Cardinal Copia of the Ghost ministry.

‘Sì, eh, it’s Cardinal Copia…’ he said softly, a little smile on his lips, still seeming uncertain.
‘Right…Cardinal Copia, don’t clutch those so tight. ‘ you pointed at his flowers, which had dropped some of their dead leaves to the floor. With a slight smile to let him know you weren’t annoyed and just trying to lighten his mood, you picked up some of the fallen leaves.
The Cardinal jumped a little, as if realizing something, hastily mumbling ‘Oh, mi scusi! Please don’t…I’ll pick those up.’ He made to kneel down, his biretta sliding off. It landed just in front of you, and you picked it up. ‘No, it’s okay!' Don’t worry about it. Hmm…here’ You said, handing him his biretta, seeing his nose and cheeks become flushed. ‘Grazie…eh, I suppose I’ll go in now…’ He took a few shaky steps towards the door of Miss Imperator’s room. You felt a wave of pity in your heart. Was he scared of something? ‘Cardinal, if you don’t mind me asking, you seem very nervous. Is there something I can help you with?’ You tilted your head, an apologetic smile on your lips. He sighed and dropped his eyes to the floor. ‘Difficult relationships…’ he mumbled. You nodded and stepped closer, trying to catch his eyes with yours. ‘I’ve seen it before with other patients, and it’s really okay. She’ll be happy you came, even brought flowers!’ your tone encouraging, getting him to weakly smile. ‘It’s a little complicated…she does care about me, sì. I’m here for her, not the old one…’ You thought for a bit. The satanic pope? He seemed stern yet awkward. Maybe he bossed the Cardinal around too much? You didn’t know and couldn’t speculate on this. ‘Yes! She’ll feel great for the support, I just know it.’ With a final smile, you moved your gaze to the door of the room. He took a deep breath, straightened his biretta on his head and shot you a grateful look. ‘Thank you…’ he spoke softly, you nodded, smiling, pointing to the door again while taking some steps back.
His hand was on the door handle and you turned around to walk away. You heard him open the door with a ‘Tadaaaa!’ making you giggle. You had a feeling he was more goofy and sweet than he looked.
You went back to your desk, sitting down and continuing to sort through some files. After a while, you heard footsteps in the hall and the creaking of a wheelchair, awkward laughter accompanying the footsteps.
Looking up from your files curiously, you saw the old satanic pope coming down the hall towards you, Miss Imperator in her wheelchair being pushed by the Cardinal, who still looked a little nervous but also in a lighter mood.
They stopped by you and Miss Imperator stretched out her arms, you walked up to her and she grabbed your hand. She looked good as new, you couldn’t believe how well she had healed from her accident. Being happy for her, you let her shake your hand in both of hers with a smile. ‘Thank you dear, for all the good care.’ She said, sounding genuine. ‘Miss Imperator, it’s nothing, it’s my work! I’m glad you’re feeling well and your healing process has gone so smoothly.’ You told her, while she withdrew her hands but still looked at you with a smile. She nodded to the old satanic pope and the cardinal, to which the pope raised a hand towards you and then stalked off to the front doors, opening them so that he and he cardinal pushing Miss Imperator in the wheelchair could pass through. For some reason, he looked at the cardinal with furrowed brows. The cardinal averted his gaze, focusing on pushing the wheelchair intently. ‘Goodbye, Miss Imperator! If something goes awry in your home recovery process, give us a call, okay?’ you told her, waving at her while the cardinal slowly wheeled her towards the doors. ‘Of course, of course I will. Thank you again!’ Miss Imperator said, with a smile and a final wave. In passing, you caught the Cardinals eyes and he mouthed you a ‘thank you’, with a flush on his cheeks and a little smile, you could see the corners of his mouth lift up his mustache. You answered him with a smile.

The next day, you sat at the desk again. There wasn’t much to do today, as it was quite a small hospital in a small town. Suddenly the front door creaked open. You sat up straight in your chair to welcome whoever had come in, ready to help. It was him. The Cardinal. He walked up to the desk, looking nervous, once again clutching flowers in his hands. This time the flowers looked more alive.
‘Oh! Cardinal, is everything alright? Is Miss Imperator-’ he smiled and stopped you with a wave of his hand. ‘Eh, it’s good! I’m not…I mean, I did not come here because of that, today.’ Suddenly he seemed a little shy. You tilted your head in curiosity, asking him ‘How can I help you today?’ He held up the flowers and offered them to you. ‘Eh…it’s…these are for you. I know it’s…ah…a little silly, but…the reassurance you gave me yesterday just…helped me more than you think.’ He stumbled over his words but seemed very thankful.
Wow. Flowers for you. No one had ever given you flowers, especially not in this setting. You nodded, a little flustered while he fumbled with the flowers. ‘It’s…it’s nothing, you just looked like you needed it…’ now it was your turn to stumble over your words. He kept looking at you. You noticed his handsome features and he somehow looked soft. It made your heart flutter. He seemed caring, too, and how sweet it was to come here especially for you…’ you got up from the desk, walked around it towards him. He seemed to suddenly remember the flowers again. ‘Oh! Mi scusi, I brought these for you…like I said, hehe…’ You can’t help but blush. No one ever appreciated you like this and his sweet, awkward demeanor made you melt a little as you accepted the flowers. ‘Thank you, you…have no idea how much I appreciate this gesture.’ You say, shyly. He scratched his neck and muttered something in Italian.
You look at his face curiously and he jolts upright, suddenly more serious. ‘It’s…I wanted to show my appreciation so…here it is…my, eh. Appreciation, sì. But I suppose you already got that, heh…’ he trails off again. You chuckled. ‘I’m very happy with it! Really! Thank you again.’
You looked around for a place to put your flowers, walking around the desk towards the cabinet where you kept some cheap, spare vases for when visitors brought their loved ones flowers. Putting the Cardinal’s flowers in there, you told him to wait and stay put while you went to fill it up with water. Coming back, you put the vase with his flowers on the counter. ‘They’re beautiful!’ You said, smiling at him, nodding to the flowers.
He smiled too, now, still looking a little flushed. You leaned on the counter with your elbows, head resting in your hands, he leaned against the counter on his side, one elbow on the top of it, and you got to talking. You learned about his family, he learned about your job here. His life doesn’t seem like the easiest. He’s funny, albeit a little awkward. It made him very endearing. You liked him, he was easy to talk to. Eventually he glanced at the clock, sighing and standing up straight, stretching himself out. ‘Mi scusi, I hadn’t noticed the time…I’m afraid I have to go now.’ He told you, he seemed unhappy with this fact. You noticed you did, too. He nodded to you, took one of your hands and planted a kiss on the back of it. He looked very flustered doing this, but also seemed pleased with himself. His lips feel soft and warm, his mustache tickling your skin for the slightest moment. ‘Thank you, signora, I’ll see you…soon?’ The latter part of the sentence went up in a question. You were still thinking of how he felt on your hand, nodding absentmindedly. ‘Yes…I’ll see you soon…’ You heard him laugh and that seemed to pull you above water again. ‘Oh! Cardinal, of course, thank you too. Thank you for the beautiful flowers.’ You smiled at him, he raised his hand awkwardly in a wave while he stalked off, you waved at him as well.

The rest of your shift and your evening at home you can’t stop thinking about him. You’ve only seen this man twice now and he’s already occupying your thoughts. You roll your eyes at yourself for this. You knew his position, his importance, his family. Your heart was running ahead of you.

The next day while you were at the hospital again, working, you felt yourself secretly hoping you’d see him again. Stupid! Why would he even come here again? It’s a hospital!
Somewhat annoyed you left work that day. Zipping up your jacket at the desk, standing up and reaching under it to get your bag, you heard something by the entrance.
‘Oh! I’m…were you just leaving? Heh, I was just coming to…’ you get up, turning. That stumbling voice. It’s him and he’s standing in the doorway, hair disheveled, biretta crooked. Did he…did he run? The thought of him running made you laugh. He panted a little but tried to regain his composure. You walked towards him, smiling at him. Your heart felt light. ‘Cardinal, it’s…good to see you.’ He looks strangely more handsome like this, a little in disarray. ‘It’s good to see you too. If I may say so, you look beautiful today.’ He flushes red when he says this but the look in his eyes has confidence. You turn red, not knowing what to say. ‘Ah! I don’t - Apologies if I’m being too forward, it’s-’ You stop him, raising a hand. ‘No…I, thank you. You…you do too. 'Really.' You stared at each other, both not knowing what to say.
You noticed how his face was dotted with freckles. He had traces of ginger hairs in his mustache, eyebrows, too. His one white eye, one green, looked soft. Suddenly he snapped out of the reverie. ‘Oh! I came to ask you…would you like to come? With me, I mean, on…on a date?’ He looked at you tentatively. A little fast, you blurted out: ‘Yes!’ feeling your face practically burn, you scraped your throat, saying: ‘I mean, yes, I would like that’.
A genuine smile that reached his eyes appeared on his face. He grabbed your hand, soft leather against your skin, and you let him, while he pressed another kiss on the back of it. He lingered a little bit this time, making your heart hammer in your chest. You hoped he couldn’t actually hear that.
You grabbed your bag and you both walked to the doors, out into the early evening.

The two of you had strolled through the park and small town just talking, you both got more comfortable talking freely. You didn’t know why, but somehow he felt like home. He was silly but sweet and when he smiled and laughed about things you told him, the warmth reached into you. Standing on a little hill looking over the forest surrounding town, he was pointing out several landmarks to you. ‘Look…the Ministry. Just there.’ He held his arm close to your face so your eyes could follow his finger. You let out a small ‘wow’, you had seen the Ministry in full daylight, but never in this twilight and it looked imposing, but beautiful. A shiver went through your body, and you noticed how cold you felt. Instinctively you rubbed your hands together. He looked at you, alarmed at the sudden movement. ‘Are you cold? Oh mi scusi, we’ve been outside for so long…’ he sounded apologetically. ‘It’s…fine, it’s a little cold, yes, but I’m okay…’ you couldn’t fully steady your voice but yet you smiled at him. You enjoyed his company too much for this to be over already. He nodded as if he had resolved something and began taking off his leather gloves, handing them to you. ‘I’m sorry I can not do more…but, at least these will warm your hands.’ The gesture of this engulfed your heart, making it jump up and down, your stomach accompanying it. Taking his gloves and slowly putting them on, you noticed how warm they felt on the inside. They were a little big on you, but warm nonetheless. ‘Thank you’ you told him, waving your now gloved hands towards him. He laughed, taking them in his. ‘É niente. Is this okay?’ he smiled, nodding at his hands holding yours. Of course it was. It was more than okay. His touch made you want to melt, or float, or both. You opted for a more sane answer. ‘It is…thank you.’ You swayed your arms together, walking back to town. After wishing you a good night, once again kissing your hand, you both went your separate ways home. You suddenly noticed you still had his gloves on. Turning around, you yelled. ‘Cardinal!’ He turned around, alarmed. ‘What happened?’ He yelled back. He sounded worried, so you took a few steps towards him again. ‘Nothing, it’s just, I still have your gloves on! I’m sorry, I forgot!’ He came closer now, too. When he was within a closer earshot, he chuckled. ‘It’s okay, you can keep them on, sì?’ You gave him a puzzled look. ‘They’re yours, you should have them back.’ You began taking one of them off, not really wanting to return your hands to the cold outside air. He put one of his hands on yours, saying: ‘Keep them on, amore. Just return them when we meet next, okay…’ He seemed surprised at himself for sounding so confident and the sweet smile on his face was one you’d never forget. ‘When we meet next?’ You said, looking him into the eyes. His white eye glistened in the evening light, growing darker every second. His face was soft. ‘Ah, if you want, of course. If you want to meet again…’ he spoke very softly. His face was very close to yours. You smiled at him. ‘Of course I want that. Excuse me if this is too soon, but what about…tomorrow?’ His eyes shone as if there were sparkles in them. ‘Oh, tomorrow? Tomorrow!' He still spoke softly but now happily, as well.
‘Maybe we could meet at my apartment? We could have some tea…’ You suggested, trailing off. You couldn’t believe yourself, were you really inviting this man into your apartment like this? But you also felt so sure of it. The time you had spent with him…it felt like you had known each other for so long. He seemed to ponder for a little bit, before accepting, smiling. ‘Perfect…until tomorrow, amore.’ A shiver went through your body, but not because of the cold. Him calling you that, amore, with that Italian accent made you feel so good. So…accepted.
After giving him the directions to your apartment, you wished each other a good night again. Waving again, walking off.

The next day, you woke up way too early, being too excited and somehow nervous about seeing the Cardinal again. Your dreams had been of no help to this. The times you had woken up during the night it was like your head and heart kept telling you something, something you couldn’t quite grasp. But upon waking up early, you felt sure of it. Accepted the feeling. It was what it was. You loved the Cardinal. You could barely push this thought out of the way in preparation for seeing him again.
You had tidied up your apartment, put together an outfit after trying out what seemed like a hundred pieces of clothing, turned up the heating a little more. Three knocks on the door startled you and you scrambled to open it up. The Cardinal, standing in the doorway, looking as handsome as ever. Today he wasn’t wearing his usual cassock and biretta, he still had on his paints and his hair was slicked back, but he was wearing a black button up, a long black coat, pants that seemed kind of tight and pointy, buckled shoes. He looked breathtaking, and you stood in the doorway staring at him until he raised one of his hands, almost awkwardly saying ‘Hello’, chuckling a little. You blinked a few times and greeted him with a light ‘Hi!’ before beckoning him to come in. You held the door open while he walked past you, coming very close to you, his scent wafting past you. He also smelled nice, was there anything about him that you possibly would dislike?

Closing the door and turning around, the contrast between him and your apartment made you laugh involuntarily. Stepping towards him, he grabbed your hand in an introductory manner, but smiled at you while bringing the other up to you. You hadn’t even noticed what he was holding, being too occupied with how he was looking today. He had brought flowers again, but this time they were even more beautiful. Beautiful and red. ‘I eh…thought I’d bring these, for you, I didn’t want to show up empty handed…’ He held them out to you. You felt your face get warm again. Taking the flowers, you studied them. ‘They’re beautiful…the color is amazingly vivid.’ You murmured. He got closer, studying them as well before looking up to you. ‘They are, it’s, ah…cardinal red.’ He chuckled at his own little reference. You did too, suddenly feeling more at ease. ‘Good with attention to detail, Cardinal?’ You smirked, getting a vase out of a cupboard to put the flowers in. He followed you, shrugging off his coat. ‘I’m sorry, I haven’t gotten around to actually putting up hooks for those…’ you looked around. You usually just draped your coat over the back of one of your kitchen chairs. A little embarrassed, you gestured for him to do the same. ‘I’m sorry…’you said again, but with a gentle smile he put his long coat on the chair. ‘It’s okay, don’t worry, your apartment actually reminds me of eh…of my own space I have at the ministry.’ He chuckled at this, a little nervous. You didn’t know how to take this, looking at him without replying. ‘Oh, no, in a good way! In a positive way!’ He hastily added, smiling apologetically. You felt at ease again.
You began making tea. He insisted on helping you and so there you were, preparing tea with Cardinal Copia, casually in your apartment. Being in his vicinity made you feel warm, like there was a physical connection between you. You noticed him glancing in your direction often, looking away with a small smile.
Situating yourself on your only couch, you gestured for him to come sit as well, a little flustered since there were no other options and he was almost forced to be close to you.
‘Apologies, I don't really…I mean, I haven’t gotten around to get more furniture." You said, gripping your cup of tea in both your hands. He took his cup of tea as well and said ‘Don’t apologize, I actually quite like it…I don’t have many pieces of furniture at the Ministry.’ he chuckled.
Sipping on your tea, you talked more. You asked him about his interests and hobbies outside of being a satanic Cardinal for the Ghost ministry, he asked about yours, besides working at the local hospital. You learned he liked video games, especially old school ones, and somewhat nerdy movies. It was endearing. He looked like a man with a certain stature, which he was, but his interests were so…normal.

He emptied his teacup and placed it back on its saucer, stretching back into your couch and turning towards you. You put your cup down as well, looking at him. ‘So right now, there’s not really a pope, right?’ continuing the conversation you’ve been having. ‘Sì, Sister Imperator had me fulfill the role as the leader of the band Ghost. It’s been quite the adventure so far.’ He seemed a little sad, you could see it in his eyes. You had heard what happened at the ministry, not in detail, but everyone knew what happened to Papa Emeritus III. ‘I’m sorry if it seems like I’m prying. I don’t mean to, Cardinal, if it’s not a comfortable topic for you…’ you apologized, looking at him with a worried expression. He looked at you, a watery smile. ‘Please just call me Copia…and it’s not a very comfortable topic for me, no, but it’s one I have to accept. If I was to become Papa someday, it’s good to…know certain things.’ You nodded. He looked a little fragile right now. You saw one of his ungloved hands in his lap, the other supporting his head, leaning on the back of the couch. Right. You didn’t return his gloves yet. ‘Cardinal, I’m sorry, I totally forgot your gloves…let me get them for you…’ you wanted to get up to fetch them, but he gestured for you to stay seated. A little surprised you turned to look at him. ‘Please, it’s Copia. Right now I’m not in need of my gloves…’ he stretched his fingers. You felt flustered about calling him by his name, not his title. ‘Ca…Copia, you’re always wearing them, it must be strange for you to not have them on right now.’ You couldn't stop looking at his hand. You wondered how it felt. He chuckled softly and while raising his hand, holding yours, he said ‘Like I said…right now I’m not in need of my gloves.’ He shot a shy glance at your face. The sensation of you being skin to skin with him for the first time shot through you like a fire. Like an electric current. He felt warm, soft, but somehow strong and steady. This made you spill out your thoughts in a very stumbling manner. ‘C..Copia, this being together with you’ you gestured vaguely at the two of you, ‘it has been on my mind all the time. It feels like…it feels like home, weirdly, and…’ you trailed off, not knowing how to continue and being scared you said too much, were too early with this kind of talk, would scare him off. He stared at you intently, flustered for a moment, before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. The current shot through you again, his warm breath on your skin, his tickling mustache on your forehead. His soft touch. He pulled back to look at your face, you saw he was red as well, but when he glanced at your forehead, he chuckled, before raising one finger and rubbing lightly on your skin. ‘Ah…mi scusi, a bit of my paint was transferred…a little stain…’ He rubbed his hand on the side of his pants to get rid of the bit of smudged paint that was on his finger now. You couldn’t help but laugh at this, he seemed so unserious.

You sat in silence for a few minutes, they ticked by on the clock. His breath was warm and steady next to you, but your heart was hammering in your chest once again. When he spoke, he didn’t sound as steady as he seemed. ‘To be honest, it has felt like that to me too. Il mio cuore si sente leggero…’ he sighed, gripping your hand a little tighter. You weren’t sure of what he had just said, but it sounded romantic. It could just be the Italian, or the way he was looking at you right now. You felt so incredibly in love. Rationally, you knew you hadn’t even known each other for long, you hadn’t seen each other that much. But he felt so comfortable, you felt content just being near him, he seemed to be as well…that cancelled out your doubts.
You wanted to look at his face closer, to feel him. His breath again on your skin. The softness of his lips. Feeling like your heart was about to fall out of your ribcage, you bended towards him. One of your hands cupped his face and he seemed a little surprised at this, you saw his nose and cheeks get more red, you felt the warmth under your hand. ‘Is…this okay?’ You asked, softly, looking into the one white, one green eyes. With an almost inaudible ‘yes’, he cupped your face as well, but with both hands. He came closer. You could see the freckles dotting his face more clearly now, you could see the individual ginger hairs in his brows, shining through amongst the darker, more salt and pepper colored hair. You could smell that delicious scent of his, you felt how soft he was, how comfortable he felt.
Closing the distance between you, you kissed him. Very soft at first, your lips brushing against his, feeling him leaning into you, one hand now around your shoulders. You wrapped your arms around him, wanting to be close. He felt warm. It was practically radiating off of him. You pulled back so that you could look at his face. You chuckled a little bit. He looked so flustered, but you were sure you did too. ‘I really like you, Cardinal…’ you almost whispered. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes on yours. Then he smiled again. ‘It’s Copia.’ He leaned in again, his lips on yours again, this time he took the lead. It was more urgent now, but the way he held you in his arms was nothing but gentle and soft. You felt like your heart and brain had completely left the building, being so struck with surprise with this turn of events. Did he feel the same way about you? Could it be?

He pulled away, the hint of a shy smile on his lips. ‘I really like you too. ‘ He spoke, raising a hand to stroke his thumb at your temple. You couldn’t help it. The corners of your mouth went up, as much as they could. His did, too. Suddenly, you burst out laughing. It was so absurd to you that you were sitting here, with a satanic Cardinal in his casual clothes, in your small apartment while you had already dreamed of being in love with him.
He looked at you a little puzzled before beginning to chuckle, ending in a loud laugh. The way his face lit up as he laughed made you feel warm inside. He looked happy. It was so different from how he had seemed when you first met him, paired with everything he had told you about his life so far.
He bent forward, planted a single kiss on your lips and stood up. ‘Want more tea?’ he asked, still chuckling. You laughed again at the suddenness of it. But it had been the objective of today. Have tea together. You stood up as well, taking both the cups, walking towards the kitchen with him. He took the cups from your hands, putting them on the kitchen counter, turned towards you and enveloped you in his arms. You were pressed against the soft fabric of his button up, he smelled amazing, he felt soft yet strong. You wrapped your arms around him as well. He gently swayed you to non existent music. You smiled into him, patting him on the back. ‘What, you don’t want to dance?’ he asked, fake offense in his voice. ‘There’s no music, Copia…’ you laughed again, but you swayed with him. He changed his stance, as if inviting you for a dance. He extended his hand, bowing his head comically. ‘If I may…’ you chuckled. ‘You’re a little bit of a dork, you know that?’ He looked up at you, a hint of uncertainty on his face. You added, lovingly ‘But I love that.’ before taking his still extended hand, putting the other on his shoulder. ‘You’re the one dancing with a dork right now.’ He said, matter of factly, starting to spin you around slowly. Both laughing at this, you spun around your apartment. There wasn’t much space, but it felt cozy. He was humming a tune while he twirled you around. Somehow, he was a good dancer. He seemed to know what he was doing. ‘I’m going to be dizzy if you keep spinning me around’ you said jokingly, grabbing onto his shoulder again. ‘It’s how you dance to this music, amore.’ With a disapproving tone in his voice, he looked at you, but he winked. He seemed so soft and sometimes even shy, but it fitted him. Stopping him, you stood still, putting your arms around his neck. ‘Copia, there’s not even music here.’ He lifted his brows in surprise. ‘Oh, but there is!’ You laughed. ‘You mean, that tune you have been humming? I don't even recognize that song!’ He clutched a hand to his chest dramatically. ‘Amore…you’re breaking my heart. It’s simply a more…ah, romantic rendition of one of our songs.’ You tilted your head. Was he talking about the band Ghost? They didn’t have any slow, danceable songs, as far as you knew. He looked at you as if he could see the gears in your head turning. Louder this time, he hummed the tune again, this time slow dancing with you. Your heart felt so content. You hadn’t even dared to dream of something like this, but he was so into it. You were too. You wished this would never end.
His head was close to yours and he bent towards your ear, still swaying, humming the tune in your ear now, before stopping and whispering: ‘You see, it’s about bewitching.’ His breathy whisper in your ear combined with the tickling of his mustache on it made you shiver a little, racking your brain on what he was talking about. There was a Ghost song that included these lyrics, yes. It was up tempo, though. You smiled, looking up at him again when he pulled back more. ‘Is it about bewitching in the moonlight?’ you added, half jokingly, winking at him. Still slow dancing, you reached your head up, one of your hands cupping his face. The look in his eyes was soft and loving, making you almost melt into a puddle right then and there, but you did the next logical thing. Moving forwards, you went to kiss him, but before your lips could reach his, he said, very softly: ‘Sì, that it is.’
You felt the smile on his lips as you kissed him, still swaying around your apartment to the non existent song playing.

Chapter 2: Closer

Summary:

In chapter 2 of 'danse macabre', you have been on several dates with Copia since the first meeting in the hospital. On this day, you're visiting him over the winter holidays at the ministry, where he shares your sentiments of not wanting to let go.

Notes:

Chapter 2 word count: 5587
Massive fluff warning...this might be a little slow burn in one chapter, but it's how I like it. It's a little angsty but not too much, they both feel love but it's so new to them.

A few weeks had passed since your first date with Copia. He was a busy man, but he always found time for you, which relaxed the both of you.
You had a handful of dates, all of which had been sweet and all of which made you feel stomach flutters. On this particular day he had been showing you around the ministry, the way he pulled you along by your hand in an exciting manner making you fall in love with him more and more. The passion in his voice when he told about the history and public operations of the ministry was unmistakable and he seemed to feel at home.
‘And, here, this is the library…ah, sì, it’s just been christmas so a lot of siblings are with their families so it’s quiet…’ Copia opened the door and extended his arm inside, showing you in.
Rows and rows of shelves, filled with books, some looking very mysterious and leather bound, some seemingly very normal, almost looking out of place. Ladders along the high shelves, a fireplace on the far end of the room and couches and chairs surrounding it. Desks everywhere, with scattered papers and books around. The weak, early winter sun shone through the stained glass windows, giving some of the desks a colorful sparkle. It was beautiful here.
‘Wow, I didn’t expect it to be so…’ you said, looking around the library and to the windows, following the sunbeams.
A hand on your shoulder, you felt him standing very close behind you, hearing him chuckling lightly. ‘So what, cara?’ He said.
You turned around, smiling at him. ‘It’s beautiful! And it’s so light and the stained glass makes it so magical and colorful.’ Copia raised an eyebrow as if in thought. ‘Hmm, I suppose you’re right. I have never looked at it like that, I quite like your perspective.’
You took some slow steps forward, still looking around. ‘How many books even fit in here…’you mused, softly. You heard Copia chuckle again. ‘Impossible to answer. I’d say at least…twenty.’ You turned around, laughing at him now. ‘Come on, twenty? Really?’ teasingly, you patted him on the head. He put his hands on his hips as if offended. ‘Well, I am not wrong, am I? It has to be at least twenty in here, cara.’ He tried to look serious but you saw the corners of his mouth twitch. He stepped towards you but you walked forwards again, wanting to explore more, and he followed behind you. Towards the windows, desks were lined up, on which the sun shone invitingly. You wondered if it would feel warm, the ministry gave off a cold vibe, being such a large building. Walking towards it, you extended your hand, the colorful stained glass sun rays covering your skin. It felt warm. You closed your eyes and sighed. Today was another one of those perfect days spent with Copia. You always tried to drag it out as long as possible, and you had the feeling he did that, too. Never ready to say bye.

You felt him behind you, as your face bathed in as much warmth as the glass allowed. He wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your heart jumped, the way he was so careful and soft around you made you melt. You felt his breath against your cheek and he too was absorbing the sun that shone through the windows. You stood like this for a few minutes, in silence.
You felt his mustache tickle on your skin. ‘A cosa stai pensando?’ he whispered. When he spoke Italian your heart always fluttered, his voice sounding beautiful like this. You didn’t know the language very well, just a few words you had picked up here and there. The questionable tone and the ‘pensando’...think.
You sighed. ‘I don’t want to leave you again…’ you admitted, keeping your eyes closed and holding his arms that were still wrapped around you.
He hummed in agreement, the soft buzz of the humming sending a shiver down your spine, the sound being emitted so close to your ear. He felt the shiver. ‘Cara, are you cold?’ He whispered, with a twinge of worry in his voice. You chuckled. ‘Not really. But I will be once you let me go.’ You felt bold saying this, but it was true. Nothing felt better than being in his arms.
Turning you around so that you were facing him, he held you at an arm's length, studying your face. To your surprise, you saw his cheeks, nose and ears were flushed.
‘Cara…’ he said, focusing his eyes, but sounding a little unsteady. You looked at him, puzzled. ‘What is it? Are you okay?’ You inquired, squeezing his shoulders. He smiled nervously. Even after the weeks of dating and being close together he could still be awkward, but you thought it was endearing. It wasn’t like you weren’t awkward yourself. It was just the contrast of the man he looked like versus how he behaved when you got to know him.
He nodded profusely. ‘Sì, sì…I’m okay, I just had a great idea!’ He looked proud of himself but still flustered, as you simply rose an eyebrow and tilted your head in question, not saying anything in response. He continued, scraping his throat. ‘I…apologize if it seems too forward but…I just thought, eh…’ he trailed off. You were getting flustered now too. What was he getting at? What could be the cause of him suddenly being so nervous? It made you chuckle and you caught his gaze, smiling reassuringly. ‘Hey, you can tell me.’ you cooed.
His eyes bore into yours, the white and the green. ‘Would you want to…stay over? With me, I mean? In…la mia stanza…if you want, that is…’ He pressed the words out of his throat, sighing deeply and shutting his lips tight as soon as he had finished the sentence, still looking you in the eyes. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks as well. ‘Oh.’ You let out, your mind racing. It would be the first time you would spend the night with him. But secretly you had dreamed of it. Cozying up to him, being in his arms, safe and warm, feeling comfortable, maybe stealing a kiss or two…
He was looking at you still, his gaze growing more nervous. ‘C…Cara, would you want to?’ He spoke softly.
Looking down out of nerves, suddenly, you replied. ‘I would love to…I think that would be great…we wouldn’t have to say bye, yet, right…’ You heard a large sigh escape from him, his shoulders and chest falling, apparently having been tensed. Then a nervous chuckle as one of his hands lifted up your chin. ‘We wouldn’t have to say bye.’ He said solemnly. His face was in close proximity now and every time he was, you tried to count the freckles on his nose and lips. It never quite succeeded. Pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, you felt the heat radiating off of him, the feeling of his soft lips and slightly rough tickle of his mustache lingering on your skin.

‘Right!’ He suddenly straightened up, tugging on his jacket to lay it flat, smoothing down his hair that didn’t need any smoothing down. You had noticed him doing this often, it was one of those details about him that you loved. You laughed at the sudden change in demeanor and grabbed his hand. ‘Show me your room? Please?’ You said, with your best impression of puppy eyes trained on him. You felt a little ridiculous but the fun you had in this overruled the feeling. He pulled you with him. ‘Anything for you, certo.’ He promised, exiting the library, shutting the door and striding off with you to the living quarters. It really was a quiet time. You only heard some scattered voices around the halls, people talking about their plans over the holidays. You’d never really celebrated them, not out of any reason, you just didn’t feel like it, and so you also didn’t mind having some time off. In your daydreams you spent a couple of days with Copia…
He came to a halt in front of a set of double doors, which he unlocked with a large key. ‘This is just, ah, the front door, almost.’ He explained, holding the door open for you to step through. It was an interesting hallway, adorned with paintings of people in skull paints and exquisite robes. A few hallways split from the main one and he took the first one, searching for another key. This time you saw his hand trembling slightly, shaking the keys with it. You chuckled softly, suddenly also feeling very nervous. He had seen your apartment, been in there, so why were you feeling like this about his living space? Maybe because everything in this place seemed so…formal. So neat and orderly. With a click, the door opened and he pushed against it with one hand, this time stepping in and holding it open, so that you could enter behind him. He closed the door, hanging the keys at a hook next to it.
You had not expected his room to look like this. It was like a small single floor apartment. A very small hallway with a coat rack and a hook for keys, arching into what seemed like a living room. It didn’t look neat and orderly in here at all, but in the best way. His couch looked comfortable, a deep red fabric, a dark coffee table, bookcases that lined one of the walls. A small tv with a game console next to it, and a small pile of games. You chuckled at the sight of it. You had noticed some dorky qualities of his, some he didn’t speak of much, but you loved it about him. He had a rack of vinyls, a record player on a small shelf next to it. On the wall above it, in almost a family portrait kind of way, hung a row of small photographs, all framed in tiny frames. Rats. You laughed, you knew he loved the little animals, but you didn’t expect him to really frame their pictures like this. It was adorable and it showed his caring, sweet side. He was looking at you, how you were reacting to his space. He was red in the face and spread his arms. ‘Eh….tadaa…’he said, awkwardly, but smiling. Stepping towards him, you followed his movement. ‘Oh, Copia, in the best way possible, this place is so…you.’ you admitted, waving your hands around vaguely. He chuckled. ‘Thank you, cara. Sì, I’ve tried to make it exactly how I like it…although at this moment, I love it in here even more.’ He added, eyeing you to see how you’d react. He had a way with these kind of sweet words that he could just sprinkle into conversations. Your heart fluttered again. You pulled him in for a hug, speaking into his ear, softly. ‘I love it in here as well.’
He swayed you back and forth a little, humming to himself again as he had done on your first date in your apartment. Releasing you, he looked around a little alarmed. ‘Oh, it has already gotten quite dark in here!’ He said, looking out the window. It was early winter and the sun had already begun to set, bathing the room in a gloomy light. He gestured towards the couch. ‘Per favore, I will get things ready, just relax, ok?’ You smiled at him, dismissing his alarming tone with a wave of your hand. ‘It’s fine, Copia, I can help you-’ ‘You’re my guest, per favore…’ He pushed you backwards, softly, pressing you down and you gave in. ‘Fine, but please let me know if you need help?’ You looked at him, the question lingering in the air. He grinned. ‘Grazie cara. Not yet.’ Your heart jumped, feeling a wave of excitement about spending more time with him. He twirled around the room, closing curtains, switching on lamps here and there, lighting candles. A few times the match went out before he could do anything, and you heard him curse softly in Italian under his breath. It looked strangely sweet and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.
Eventually, he sat himself next to you with a sigh. ‘Ah, right. Much better, sì?’ gesturing around the room. It looked very cozy, all the small lights creating a beautiful warm atmosphere. You nodded and leaned against him. He slung one arm over your shoulders. He felt warm and soft. He rested his head on the back of the couch, neck extended and let out a deep sigh, pulling off his gloves and he ran a hand through his hair. ‘Hmmm…’ he hummed. He sounded tired. You glanced at his face and saw his eyes closed. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ you whispered to him. He squeezed your shoulder. ‘Sì…just so very tired. It has been so busy around here. I’ve had to finish up a lot of work before the holidays…I did not want my free days riddled with work.’ He kept his eyes closed and stretched his legs. You studied his face and reaching up, pressed a kiss on his jaw. ‘I’m sorry, you need all the rest you can get. You deserve it.’ He straightened his head and looked at you, a soft smile on his face, a strand of hair springing loose and falling over his ear. He didn’t notice.
‘Grazie…being with you like this is already soothing to me.’ He spoke in a soft voice, trailing his free hand in your hair, cupping it on the side of your face. You felt like your heart could burst, like your skin was in flames. Could he hear the pounding of your heart? Even though you hadn’t even known him for that long, the love you felt was true. Every time you thought of him, saw him, even the smallest glimpse, a wave of positive feelings washed over you. You couldn’t quite put a name to the feelings. Well, love was one way to put it, but it felt like more. Oh, and how you hoped he would feel it too.
He tilted his head, as if reading the thoughts on your face. ‘Is something the matter, cara? Have I upset you? Ah…mi dispiace…’ he scrambled, pulling back his hand from your face. You stopped him, and put his hand back. ‘Do you feel it…’ You asked, almost a whisper. Surely he had to feel your skin burning. ‘It’s…it’s warm. It’s soft but it’s very warm. ‘ He whispered back. You cast your eyes down, feeling nervous. ‘It’s because of you…you haven’t upset me, Copia. Don’t worry.’ You smiled and buried your head against him. He held you in place, and you felt him grin against the top of your head. He patted you and pressed another kiss on your head. ‘I’m glad. Here…’ He said when he pulled back, grabbing your hand and putting it on his face. It felt like an electric shock through your hand on his skin, he felt so…soft and also…so very warm. ‘Also because of you.’ He simply said, taking your hand and kissing the back of it.
Standing up suddenly, taking you with him, he swayed you towards his music collection.

‘Now, how about another dance? This time, I will put on some music for you.’ He chuckled, bending towards his stack of vinyls, rifling through them, taking a few in his hands.
You looked on curiously to see what he would pick, when he held them up for you. ‘Cara, you pick. I picked last time.’ You chuckled, thinking of when you danced in your apartment without any music. ‘There wasn’t any music last time, Copia.’ You said teasingly. He looked at you with accusing eyes over the top edge of the vinyls. ‘But I hummed and sung you a song about bewitching you in the moonlight…’
Striding towards him, you studied the covers of the vinyls closely and pointed to one randomly, not knowing the artists very well and just wanting to be close to him and have fun.
He put the other vinyls away and hummed to himself while preparing the player. “hmm, very good choice..”
Music started playing and he turned the volume up, stepping out of his shoes. You looked at him with a confused smile and did the same thing, to which he smiled warmly and stepped forward towards you. ‘I thought this would make it easier for us in this space, sì?’ You just giggled as he arranged your arm around him, before putting his hand in yours and slightly hovering the other near your waist, suddenly seeming nervous. ‘Is..is this okay, cara?’ You squeezed his shoulder with your already in place hand. ‘Of course it is…’ you felt his hand on your waist now, the proximity of him making you feel flustered, still. It felt intimate to be here like this, in his space, with his music. He started swaying softly, pulling you with him. His ungloved hand felt soft but strong at the same time, holding yours with security. For some reason you felt so nervous to look at his face like this, instead looking at your feet. He chuckled softly. ‘Is something wrong, is it strange with just the socks?’ You shook your head. ‘No, I like it…it's just, well…I don't really know how to dance.’ You admitted. He lowered his head towards yours. ‘To be completely honest with you…I'm not a great dancer either.’ Laughing, you raised your head, while he did the same, and bumped into each other slightly, making you laugh more because of course you'd do something this awkward. ‘Mi scusi! Oh cara, are you hurt?’ He studied your face, looking worried. He saw you laughing and his expression softened into a little awkward smile. ‘Hehe…I'm sorry…just follow my lead, sì?’
‘Okay’ you said, focused on not letting similar situations happen. The music had a slow tempo and fit Copia surprisingly well. You listened intently to how the instruments swelled and created a beautiful intertwining melody. ‘Eh, cara?’ Copia's voice came seemingly out of nowhere, and you noticed you were standing still. ‘Oh! I'm sorry, I can't keep focused…’ you said, casting your eyes down a little embarrassed. He kept his hand on your waist but the other raised your chin upwards and you had no other choice than to look at his face, which was a little pink but looked genuinely happy. ‘I have a better idea, can I….?’ He spoke with a voice that got hoarse towards the end. Breathless you answered ‘yes!’ Before he had finished his sentence, just wanting to be with him, close, hold him, have him hold you, the trust you felt overwhelming.
He smiled and pulled you closer to him, his arm wrapped around your waist and the other over your shoulder. In response you did the same and the closeness made you feel warm inside and out. You swayed to the music and he leaned his chin on your shoulder, to which you closed your eyes and savored the moment.
It was completely silent save for the music. Him holding you this close felt otherworldly and an involuntary smile spread across your face. He was humming along to the music and his hair tickled your face. He smelled good, too. The song ended and he straightened himself, still holding you tightly, the look on his face elated. He looked so happy…his smile reached his eyes and it made him look dorky, but you loved it. You answered his smile and he raised one hand to brush your hair out of your face, before leaning his forehead against yours with a soft sigh.
‘I love this, Copia…” you murmured, the positive feelings overwhelming your heart and your head. This man…he wouldn't leave your head. Ever since meeting him in the hospital…there was something about him. It's like he understood you on a level no one else ever did, like he could look into your dreams and desires. The trust you felt was unmatched.
You wanted to let him know this so bad but had no idea how to formulate it right now, sighing slightly and continuing in the swaying.
He hummed again. ‘Hmm, I love this as well. To be honest…I have never felt like this before. So, ah, accepted and…’ he trailed off. You felt the heat radiating off his forehead. ‘And…’ you spurred him on softly. ‘And…and, well, loved…’ he admitted, you heard him holding his breath. Loved! He felt loved! And you did too! Could this mean that he…possibly felt the same way?
Your heart felt like it would burst right through your chest.
‘I'm…happy you feel like that.’ You whispered. ‘I feel like that, too, with you.’
He pressed a kiss on your forehead and continued swaying the both of you around until the song ended.

The room was completely shrouded in darkness save for the little lights and candles he turned on, which gave a very cozy effect. ‘How about some tea, cara?’ He asked, smiling, straightening you and cupping your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, while you leaned in to his touch, not wanting to let go of him.
‘Tea…yes, I would like that, thank you.’ He put away the vinyl and directed you towards the couch again. ‘I'll go get us tea!’ He said, before sauntering off towards the kitchen. You jumped up in protest, wanting to help him, following him. ‘Hey, let me help you!’ You called out. He didn't hear you come in the kitchen, filling the kettle with water, the sound drowning out your call. He put the kettle down to a boil. ‘Copia…’ you said, chuckling softly. He jumped a little. ‘Oh! Cara. Sneaking up on me now, eh?’ But he laughed as well, turning around. ‘I called out to you!’ You said, matter of factly. He made a gesture that resembled a dramatic shrug.
‘So, I was thinking I could read you something?’ He looked at you expectantly and excited. You were curious about his interests and him reading to you sounded like a cozy activity. ‘What do you want to read?’ You inquired. He absentmindedly pulled his hand through his hair again while thinking. ‘Eh, I have some favorites, but, if you have a preference…’ You looked at him and his hair was becoming increasingly more disheveled. He looked more handsome like this, you thought. He still had his paints on as well, even though the top lip paint was a little smudged. He still looked great..
‘C..cara?’ He looked at you nervously, snapping you out of your reverie.
‘Ah…I'm sorry..’ you excused, feeling your cheeks burning. He tilted his head, waiting for you to answer. You scrambled to get your answer out in a way that made sense. ‘Please, I'd love to know more about your favorites…would you read me something from your preferred books?’ A smile spread on his face, he stepped forward. ‘Are you sure? I would love to! Just, okay, maybe you could get it from my bookshelf, sì? I will bring tea…’ He told you the name of the book and the author, apparently he had his books sorted by genre and within genre by author name. He seemed to be very happy, giddy almost. Giggling, you made your way to his living room again, towards the bookcase. Right. Tilting your head to read the names on the books, you slowly walked past the shelves. It was a little dark, making it harder to read. You slid your fingers over the spines, wondering how many books he owned and how many of those were his favorites. From what you could see they were all different genres and authors. Suddenly you felt shuffling behind you and his voice next to your ear, guiding your hand. This, in turn, made you jump a little bit. ‘Copia’ you said in response, chuckling and not wanting to show that he surprised you. From the way he spoke you could hear he had a grin on his face. Grabbing your wrist he pressed your finger against the needed book. ‘See, cara, it's this one…grazie.’

He withdrew his hand but the warmth of his touch lingered on your skin. You pulled the book out and handed it to him, while he gestured you to the couch, where he had put down two cups of steaming hot tea on the table, which smelled amazing. He looked around and raised a finger in an ‘aha’ motion, which looked a little goofy but he seemed to have come to a realization. ‘What is it?’ you said, smiling at him, not sitting down yet. ‘Ah, well, I had a thought…’ he began, scratching his head, eyes darting around. ‘We’re in our everyday clothing, right?’ He said, gesturing at you and at himself. Shoot. You just realized. Of course you hadn’t brought anything else, since the plan for you to stay just…happened. ‘Copia, I don’t have anything else with me…’ you said, a little embarrassed for some reason. He was looking at you like he had a lit lightbulb above his head. ‘Cara! That’s my idea! You can just borrow my things!’ He smiled broadly. You did as well, but you felt the heat in your cheeks again. His clothes. You had worn his gloves before, but never anything else. Being in his space, being close to him for a longer amount of time than normal, wearing his clothes…it almost felt like home. But you wanted to be comfortable and lounge around with him, so you nodded nervously. ‘It’s a good idea…thank you.’ He patted your shoulder and glanced at the tea. ‘Hmm, those are still very hot. So let’s get you comfortable, sì?’ You nodded again, he grabbed your hand and stepped towards another door, opening it and looking flustered. ‘Eh, right…this is my bedroom, but I keep my clothes in this closet here…’ You looked down, not wanting to intrude on his privacy, but he called out to you so you looked up. His bedroom had the same vibe as the rest of his place. It looked cozy. The dark red, slightly nerdy theme continued here as well, but the bed was made and one wall had framed drawings of all kinds of themes…one of them being rats again. You chuckled at this again, finding it adorable that he was so passionate about things and showed it off. You wondered who had drawn them, but you saw the drawings signed with a ‘C’ in the bottom right corner. C… Copia?
‘Hey…’ you called out, he turned around and went red in the face. ‘Ah! The drawings…do you like them, hehe…’ He chuckled shyly. ‘Like? They’re amazing! Did you draw these?’ You said in amazement, smiling widely at him. ‘Grazie…I very much like to draw, I don’t do it nearly enough these days…not that much time, you see…’ He replied, thankful. You nodded in encouragement and understanding, leaning against him for a bit, before he turned around and guided you towards his closet.
‘Right!’ He exclaimed, swinging the doors open. Most of the colors you could see were red and black, with the occasional white and colored printed shirts.
He rifled through a pile of shirts, pulling some out, offering them to you. Afterwards, from a different pile, he pulled some sweats. Sweats! You chuckled, for some reason the contrast of how he looked daily versus the sweats being a big one. But then again, you thought, everyone had their down time. Why wouldn’t he wear comfortable clothing?
Closing the doors of the closet, he took the clothes from your arms and threw them on the bed, separating the shirts from the sweatpants. ‘Ahh alright…see…’ he murmured. He picked up a shirt and red sweats. ‘These are usually my go-to, hehe…’ he laughed apologetically before gesturing towards the rest. ‘Per favore, just pick what seems comfortable to you, cara. I’ll…you can change, here I mean, I’ll of course give you privacy…’ he stumbled on his words, scurrying off towards the bathroom. You smiled and picked out some items. Wow. His clothes. His room. It all seemed so fitting and cozy. Putting on the shirt, sliding it past your head, you smelled the laundry detergent but also his smell that clung to the fabric. So good. Would your face ever stop burning?
The sweatpants fit surprisingly well, the legs not even being that much too long, since he was only slightly taller than you. It felt very soft and comfortable and you heard knocks on the door. ‘Cara?’ He called. You opened the door, seeing him in a matching outfit to yours. He grinned upon seeing you, grabbing your upper arms and holding you at an arms length. ‘Ah so comfortable! My clothes do look good on you, sì…’ you grinned, spinning around dramatically. ‘Tada!’ you mimicked him. This made him laugh and he pulled you into a hug, which felt more like home than ever. He pressed his face into your head, murmuring softly. ‘What did you say?’ You said, softly, hint of a smile still in your voice.
He pulled back and sighed. ‘I said you look beautiful.’ In the overwhelming happy feeling, you bent forward and pressed a kiss on his nose. ‘Thank you…you do, too.’ Chuckling, he stroked your head and pulled you towards the living room again. ‘Thank you cara…but everything pales in comparison to you. Ora, let me read to you while we drink our tea…’

About an hour later, two empty teacups were sitting on the table. You were snuggled up against Copia, he had read to you for thirty minutes, before his voice trailed off. Taking the book from his hands silently, you had softly and sleepily been lazing on his couch, talking about his goings on, potential plans…trying not to doze off.
His warmth and body weight against you felt extremely comfortable and you wanted to close your eyes and drift off, but you knew sleeping on a couch wasn’t the most optimal thing. You moved around, tapping his shoulder. ‘Copia?’ You spoke, softly. He slightly raised his head, you saw his eye paints smudged and the upper lip paint completely gone. Oh…
Scrambling to get yourself together, you tried to catch his eyes. ‘Hey, you should go to bed. You’re exhausted…’ Your voice was so soft it was almost a whisper now. He murmured in agreement. You got up, went around the room to switch off the lights and blow out the candles, stopping to turn the ones in his bathroom and bedroom on. ‘Come on…’ you spurred him on, pulling at his arm softly. He stood up, slumping a little. Poor guy…you thought, you knew he was under a lot of pressure and that he was usually very busy, but now you were worrying if he was even getting enough rest.
You guided him towards his bathroom and he made a sound of confusion. ‘We gotta get your paints off first’ You cooed, pushing him into the room. Looking around, you inquired ‘where do you keep your remover?’ he nodded in a general direction, you took the remover and some cotton wipes and got to work, moving very gently. This action felt so intimate somehow, you had never seen him without the paints on. But, you thought, you would probably have seen him without those at one point, anyways. He slumped against the sink while you gently wiped at his face, then directing him to splash water and dry his face. His mirror image looked at you, you saw your own mirror image get a red face. He looked so…soft. You could see on his face how tired he was, but of course, he was still himself. Somehow his mismatched eyes looked even more striking this way. He was beautiful. You saw yourself smile at him and you saw him give you a slight, but tired smile back. Turning him around towards you, you cupped his face. ‘Time to sleep.’ You switched off the lights and guided him towards his bedroom, where he pulled back the blankets and plopped down with a happy sigh. You stood there, watching him. He looked comfortable and sweet. ‘C’me here’ He slurred his words in exhaustion. ‘I’m here…’ you replied, sitting beside him. ‘...Sleep…’ he said, patting lazily beside him. Of course…for some reason, now that the moment was here, you felt oddly nervous about sleeping in the same bed as him. It was another one of those intimate seeming moments, but quickly you realized the way you felt overshadowed all nervousness. You switched off the lights and crawled under the blankets. Oh, it was so soft and smelled that same laundry detergent-and-copia smell as his clothing. You felt him move closer and he snuggled his head against your shoulder. ‘Goodnight…sleep well.’ you whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. You heard him murmur, very softly and sleepy. ‘G’night…love you…’
Your heart jumped. Did he…? You were wide awake now. Was he asleep? Did he mean it? Or did it just slip out? ‘Copia…’ you whispered. No answer. Just his steady breathing.
You figured it was safe to reply. ‘I love you, too.’
He stirred a little, and after a while, you fell asleep as well.

Chapter 3: The Heart of My Love

Summary:

Having stayed the night at Copia's, you feel unsure about the words spoken by him, half asleep, and your reply.

Notes:

Chapter 3 word count: 5456

The sun crept into the room, shining on your face. As you regained consciousness from your deep sleep, you let the warm rays settle on your skin, keeping your eyes closed. You felt a presence next to you and with a shock, you remembered. You were in Copia’s bed. Opening your eyes slightly, peeking through your lashes, you saw he was still asleep, looking blissful. He looked perfectly cozy. Turning on your side, towards him, you softly draped an arm over his waist, holding onto him, not wanting to wake him up.
Recalling last night, you felt a warmth in your heart. It had been perfect, such a lovely, comfortable day and evening with him. He had been exhausted and you had helped him get to bed. He deserved to get good rest, to not be so busy all the time. It was the first time you had seen him without his paints on, and even though he looked tired, he looked beautiful. Now, with his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling slowly, you stared at his face. Yes, he was beautiful. You tried counting the freckles on his face again but lost count quickly. You could see the different shades of color in his hair, the ginger tones shining in the warm sunlight, traces left behind that would never truly fade, no matter how his hair color would change. Even his brows held strands of ginger hair amongst the dark, salt and pepper colored hairs. You smiled, a genuine wave of happiness going through you. You wanted so badly to reach out and touch his face, but you didn’t want to wake him.
You decided to rest next to him, just savoring the moment, until he would wake up.
Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on his breathing. You felt him stir and now he draped one of his arms over you. Your heart skipped a beat as you glanced through your lashes again. No, he was still asleep. You snuggled into him as much as possible, he felt warm and soft. He felt like home.
For a while, you lay there in silence, the only sounds Copia’s breathing and occasional soft snores. Suddenly a thought crept into your head. Last night…he wished you goodnight. He had been half asleep already. He…had said ‘love you’. You had called his name, but he hadn’t replied, probably asleep. In that moment you felt safe to speak out your true feelings, saying ‘I love you too’. Now, an ache in your heart made you doubt. Had he even really said ‘love you’? He had been half asleep, after all. More than half asleep. You couldn’t be sure he loved you like you loved him. With a pang of sadness you pressed your eyelids firmly together, not wanting tears to creep out. What if he hadn’t meant it, what if he hadn’t even realized he said that. What if it was just meant as a friendly ‘thank you’?
Fuck. The tears spilled over and suddenly you felt the need to wrap your arms around yourself. You sniffed and suddenly felt yourself being embraced tightly. Copia had pulled you towards him, his arm around your waist. You weren’t sure if you should return the favor, lean into him, was that a smart thing to do when you weren’t even a hundred percent sure of his feelings for you? It would lead to even more pain, disappointment. You’d be too scared to look him in the eyes. Tears wouldn’t stop spilling and you angrily wiped them away with the back of your hand, opening your eyes.

Blinking a few times to get them fully out of your eyes, you saw him. His white and green eye looked at you, concerned, soft. You felt ashamed for crying like this, right here, right now.
‘What’s the matter…’ he whispered, still studying your face. You cast your eyes down, not knowing what to say, where to start.
He patted you on the back, tracing his hand in nonsensical patterns. ‘Did something happen? Did you have a nightmare?’ He inquired, still whispering. You shook your head, scared to say something, your voice would surely crack and you didn’t want him to hear how sad you had gotten. You felt him press a kiss to your forehead and he pulled you closer to him, your head resting against his chest, he breathed evenly, creating a cozy, warm space. You sniffled against him while he shushed, still tracing patterns on your back. ‘It’s okay…what ever it is, sì? I am here…’ Only now you noticed how your hands clung onto the fabric of his shirt like your life depended on it. Letting go, he took the opportunity to press you tighter against him.
You had to tell him. You scraped your throat and tried to speak, your voice coming out raspy, so you reduced yourself to a whisper against his chest. ‘It’s…I might have interpreted something wrong and…I only just realized and…’you trailed off, not knowing how to continue. You heard him hum. ‘Hmm…if I may ask, what could that have been? I want to help you…’ He said in a concerned voice, his tone soft now instead of a whisper.
You sighed. ‘Do you…do you remember last night? When I helped you to your room?’ You said, your voice soft now as well.
You felt him smile against your head. ‘I do, grazie mille…I am really grateful you helped me. Sorry you had to see me in that state, heh…’ he said, the last sentence coming out in an apologetic tone.
‘Oh, no it’s…it’s not a problem at all…’ You replied, wondering if he remembered more than that.
The both of you stayed silent for a minute, until he pulled away a bit, still holding you close, when he softly tilted your chin up. ‘Per favore…look at me…’ he asked, in a tender voice. It made you feel like you would melt.
Opening your eyes, you saw him close to you. He still had that worried, soft look on his face, in his eyes. He cupped your face and sighed.
‘If it’s about me saying I loved you…I am so sorry if I went too far, if I was too forward. I blurted it out, feeling so comfortable with you…’ he whispered, his cheeks and nose red. His thumb stroked your cheek as you tried to process what he had just said.
Had he meant it, then? Did he really love you? The same way you loved him?
‘Copia, I…’ you started, he shushed. ‘I am so sorry for springing it on you like that. It should have been a better moment…’ he apologized, seemingly really sorry, casting his eyes down. You heard that his breathing was irregular. You felt a resolve forming in your head and in your heart, wanting to be honest with him.
‘Please, Copia…I know that last night, you were exhausted. When I helped you go to bed and crawled next to you we wished each other a goodnight, right?’ You whispered, and he nodded in response, wanting to say something. Now you shushed him.
‘You…or well, I heard you say ‘Love you’ in your sleepy state…I called your name to see if you were awake but you did not reply…’ You said, voice soft and uncertain.
He mumbled something, you didn’t quite hear it. ‘What did you say?’ You asked, and he looked at you again. ‘I heard you say you loved me.’ He admitted, you saw his entire face get red but it also looked…lightened up.
‘But, you didn’t reply?’ You inquired, feeling confused. ‘Apologies…I just thought that you would not feel the same kind of love I have for you, you see…my feelings tend to be very strong, especially if I am so certain of something…I do not want to scare you off…’ He stumbled over his softly spoken words, his eyes studying your face. Did he really think you would not love him in that way? Did he think you did not love him as if he was your home?
‘Copia, do you…truly love me?’ You asked, wanting to know his true feelings.
He nodded, an uncertain smile on his lips. ‘Sì…I love you. I love you with such intensity, it is new to me. It’s like the sun burns in my heart.’ He admitted, still looking uncertain.
You almost felt lightheaded about hearing him speak these words and suddenly you were not afraid to speak your feelings.
‘And do you think I do not love you quite so fiercely?’ You asked, a passion in your tone that surprised you. He replied in a soft voice. ‘I am not sure…’
This time you held onto his face. ‘You…I love you. You feel like home to me. I haven’t ever felt like this, nothing would ever come close to this feeling. Since the moment I met you that day in the hospital you have not left my mind for a second. I feel out of place when I’m not with you. I l-’ You couldn’t finish your sentence, for he had captured your lips in a kiss. It was a passionate kiss from the get go, he held onto you tightly as you did the same, a blissful realization in your heart that spread throughout the rest of your body. Pulling away from you, you saw a smile on his face that would be etched into your memories forever. The way it reached his eyes and made him look ethereal…
He panted a little but held his forehead against yours. ‘Do you have any idea how it feels to hear you speak your feelings so earnestly? Tu sei la luce della mia vita…’ Your heart beat rapidly. Had you really been doubting his feelings for you? Suddenly the thought seemed stupid.
You chuckled and he looked at you, amused, chuckling himself. You looked at him and you both started to laugh, shaking. You wiped your eyes. ‘Oh Copia…we’re oblivious, aren’t we?’ You said, laughing. He pretended to be shocked. ‘Eh? I am most certainly not…’ But he still laughed as well. He wrapped you in his arms and you pressed yourself against him, feeling nothing but warmth and happiness.

For a while, you stayed like this. You felt him twirl your hair. ‘Hmm…do you have any plans for today?’ He inquired. You shook your head. ‘No.’ ‘well…not yet.’ you added. Suddenly he sat up, an enthusiastic tone in his voice as he held your shoulders. 'Perfetta! Stay with me, per favore?’ He looked at you with puppy eyes. ‘Oh of course I will…do you honestly think I would say no?’ He cast his eyes down for just a second, shrugging slightly. Leaning closer to him, you kissed him. ‘I wouldn’t ever say no to that.’ He smiled and replied, softlyt: ‘I know that…’
You kissed him again and then got up, stretching out. You heard him get up as well, groaning. Walking past him, you touched his arm for a moment. You wanted to check yourself in the mirror, see if your face had recovered from the crying and didn’t look too sleepy. Turning on his bathroom light, you jumped at the sight. Crap. You forgot you had makeup on last night. You looked like a raccoon, and not in a good way. The smudges streaked onto your cheeks from where your tears had been. Suddenly you felt your face get red hot. Copia had seen you like this the entire morning and hadn’t said a peep. You saw him standing behind you in the mirror, looking at your face in the reflection. ‘Good morning..’ he said, enveloping you in his arms from the back. You frowned at his mirrored face. ‘Have I looked like this the entire morning?’ You asked, gesturing towards your face.
He nodded. ‘You mean beautiful? Sì, you have.’
You chuckled and gave his hand a slight, playful slap. ‘I mean like a sad raccoon. Not a good one.’ Frowning at your own face in the mirror, rubbing at the makeup.
He chuckled slightly at your annoyed look. ‘Eh..sì, but,you are still beautiful. Do you require my assistance?’ He asked, turning you around to look at you.

You weighed your options. ‘You know, since I assisted you last night, yes, I require your assistance…’ you said, to which he chuckled and went on to clean your face as you had cleaned his the night before. ‘See, tada! All makeup stains gone and still beautiful.’ He said, spinning you around and presenting your clean face to you in the mirror.
You smiled, happily praising him for a job well done. ‘You’re so good at this, thank you.’ He bowed a little. ‘Ah, no thanks, I do this a lot, huh?’ He chuckled.
‘Ah of course, with your paints! Will you put them on today?’ You asked, turning around again to look at his actual face instead of the reflection. He thought for a moment. ‘Hmm, I don’t *have* to, but I almost always do it anyways…’ he pondered. You got an idea and offered it up to him, holding onto him.
‘Hey, what if…’ You began, trailing off. He looked at you, his interest piqued. ‘SÌ?’ He waited for you to continue. ‘Would you let me put your paints on?’ You asked. For some reason this felt just as intimate as taking them off. He smiled, excited noises coming from him. ‘Ah, such a great idea, cara! I trust your skilled hands with my delicate face.’ He closed his eyes and traced the contours of his face with his hands.
‘You sure can trust me. Your delicate face…’ You bent forwards to kiss him on his nose, cheeks and lips ‘is safe with me’.
He chuckled and grabbed your head, kissing you again, until he jumped up, wringing his hands. ‘Let’s do it, I’m sure you will be able to get the paints right perfectly, eh?’ His eyes were glimmering and honestly, he looked adorable excited like this. His hair was still messy, which looked so good on him. You grabbed his paint supplies and pushed him backwards, your hand against his chest. ‘I need to have a good angle and I need to be able to see what I’m doing. What do you suggest?’
Copia appeared to be in thought, looking around, suddenly snapping his fingers. ‘Come on!’ He grabbed your hand and led you back to his bedroom. He opened the curtains and the sunlight spilled into the room. ‘Here?’ You asked, looking at him with a small smile.
He nodded and situated himself on his bed, sitting with his face towards the windows, closing his eyes. The sunlight shone on his face, bathing it in a warm, golden light. You stood there for a second, just looking at him. He looked so content, soft. His messy hair, his T-shirt, the red sweats that were matching with yours that you borrowed from him. Your heart felt engulfed with warmth and the comfortable, steady rhythm it beat in stuttered excitedly.
‘Come on cara, join me, per favore’ He said, beckoning you, his hand waving in your general direction. Seating yourself next to him, still holding the paint supplies in your hand, his hand found your knee and patted it. He still had his eyes closed but there was a smile on his face, he appeared to be humming again. You kept looking at his face, feeling like you’d never get enough of it. ‘Are you ready?’ You asked, bending towards him. He opened his eyes and he looked at you. With a gasp you stared back at him, the sun shining on his face making his green eye an endless, dreamscape of tints of green and his white eye somehow shining warmly, the sunlight reflected in it. ‘Oh’ you let out and he cupped your face. ‘You’re beautiful, amore.’ He muttered. Still lost in his gaze you murmured ‘...yeah…’ without registering what he had said. He chuckled and you asked him what he was laughing about. ‘I’m glad you agree with me, because you are absolutely beautiful, that’s all, cara.’ You felt yourself go red. ‘Me? No, I mean…I mean, thank you…’ you stumbled, while he looked at you with a serene smile.
‘I'm all ready for you, if you are.’ He closed his eyes in anticipation. You sucked in a large breath of air and exhaled, slowly, trying to get your head to stop spinning. Somehow, with his eyes closed you felt more brave. ‘I meant..you are beautiful. Too. I…that's what I meant to say…” You watched his expression, his eyes were still closed but his nose and ears tinted red and a smile spread on his face, that crooked his mustache and the skin near his eyes. ‘Thank you…’ he mused, sounding a little bewildered.
‘I mean it…ehrm, I'll apply your paints now, ok? Just hold still…’ You were glad his eyes were closed. You were sure your face was red hot right now. Hovering just before him, you used a small brush to outline his eye sockets and fill them in. ‘Feels like it's going well, in my opinion’ he chuckled. You pulled your head away to look at the job you did on his eyes. ‘Please open them?’ You asked, which he did. ‘Tadaa’ he exclaimed, grinning. You looked from one eye to the other to see if it was even. Satisfied, you bent forwards again. ‘I think it looks good, but my subject makes that easy’ he was still smiling and he grabbed your head with two hands to pull you in for a slight kiss. ‘Are you charming me for a reason, amore?’ He joked, touching his face dramatically. ‘I'm complimenting you!’ You laughed, but gestured for him to come closer. You held his jaw with one hand, still, to do an immaculate job on his top lip. ‘Okay, now hold really still or this will be a disaster…’ you whispered, holding the brush up to his lips. He winked, not saying anything. Carefully, you painted his top lip black. It came out very well. ‘All done! You should get the excess paint off, though’ you said, looking for a tissue or something similar. ‘Ah, that's not a problem. Come here’ he beckoned you with one finger, and when you did, he kissed your cheek a couple of times, after which he studied your face and smiled. ‘Bellissima.’
You raised your eyebrows, touching your fingers to your face. ‘I have black paint on my cheek now, don't I?’
Copia raised his hands, innocently explaining that he thought it wasn't a bad look and you looked ‘well loved’.

After this, you got dressed for the day. You had on the clothes you came in yesterday. Copia stood in front of his closet for a while, pondering. Walking up behind him, you leaned against him.
‘Don't know what to wear?’ You joked. But his tone was serious when he replied, as if he was near disaster. ‘I don't know! I was planning to get some new items but eh..I don't want to bother you with that, now do I?’ He scratched his neck. ‘Hey, why would that bother me?” You inquired. You honestly didn't care what activity you'd be doing, as long as you could be together with him.
He shrugged. ‘I don't know, it's not my favorite activity, but it is a necessity, although I do enjoy looking my best, but the process is just….” He trailed off, digging through his closet in search for an outfit.
‘Then I'll help you, how about it?’ You offered, patting him on the back.
He turned around. ‘You want to do that, cara?’ You nodded. ‘Of course. I think I'm helpful, am I not?”
He kissed your head and smiled again. ‘Bene!!! Eh, what about this for now?’ He held up a set of clothing, to which you nodded. Honestly, he looked good in everything.
‘Hehe, alright, I'll go change. We have a date.’ He winked.

Later that day, Copia and you were on his quest. He was in the process of getting new clothing and he was surprisingly picky. It was some kind of smaller store where they seemed to know him, and you understood why. All the clothing in the store looked like it would fit him, the style being so…him. The store clerk left you alone, you sitting on a bench opposite of his changing room while he dragged in piles of clothes. You chuckled. The only color he accepted was red, the rest being black and white, or mixed. Somehow it had been a nice experience so far, he was quite funny without even trying.
‘Cara?’ you heard him call out, to which you stood up and walked closer to the room. ‘I’m here’ you replied, waiting for him to say something. You heard him making a string of noises and you lifted your brows. ‘You okay in there?’
He pulled back the curtain a little bit and poked his head out. He looked a little crumpled.
‘Sì, it’s just eh..would you please get me these in a size smaller? And this one?’ He handed you some pants and a matching button up. You looked at him, confused. ‘Didn’t you say these were your exact size?’
He waved his hand in annoyance. ‘Yea yea, but I feel better when it’s a little tighter, eh…somehow…’ You were chuckling again. This man.
You got the sizes he wanted, holding up the pants to look at them. Was he going to fit in these?!
‘Amore? Did you find them? I’m getting a little cold’ he called, his tone sheepish.
‘Cold?’ You asked, coming towards him again with the right clothes. ‘I eh…already took the other ones off, they didn’t feel nice, so I’m….you know, cold.’ He explained, still sounding sheepish, his voice getting softer towards the end of the sentence.
Oh. Unclothed. You felt your face burn again, trying not to look at him too much when he pulled back the curtain a little bit with one hand again, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. ‘Here you go…I hope they’re better…’ You kept looking at his face and he looked grateful, thanking you and closing the curtain. As he closed it, you got a tiny peek at his unclothed chest. A trail of hairs in the same shade as the ones on his head crept up, and was that a tattoo you saw? The glance you got at him had been very quick, short. Still, you still felt like your face was burning. You heard him struggling, which made you laugh and get your mind of the image of him, unclothed in there.
You heard some soft curses underneath his breath and after a short while he swung back the curtain. ‘Tada!’ He exclaimed again, seemingly a recurring theme with him. You automatically stood up, taking him in. The tighter clothes did look better on him. They looked similar to things he owned, but, he had said, it’s a different fabric, a slightly different cut.
It was a dark red, almost a wine red ensemble, unlike his cardinal red suits. He looked absolutely stunning. The way it matched the rest of his appearance, how he carried himself, it fit him so well. He stood in front of you a little awkwardly, waiting for your reaction.
‘It’s amazing! Wow, it’s so pretty. The color fits you so well.’ You smiled at him and rubbed your hand on his upper arm, feeling the fabric, which was softer than it looked. He gave you a thankful look and studied himself in the mirror. ‘Ah, I love it as well. It is a little different, sì, but it’s good…’ He mused. You looked at him via the mirror.

‘Hey, you know what this reminds me of?’ You said, having a good idea. He turned and looked at you a little puzzled. ‘What, amore?’
You let your eyes glide over his form, having an excuse: looking at his to-be new clothes.
‘Eh…it reminds me of a classy victorian men's outfit, you know. Where they have a pocket watch and all?’ You said, stumbling over your words, being distracted by him.
He thought for a bit, scratching his neck again, as you noticed he did a lot when he was thinking of something, deciding something.
‘A pocket watch, you say…actually, cara, that’s a great idea!’ He spun around again, looking at you and putting his hands on your shoulders. He had such a genuine smile again, it reached his eyes and it made you instantly reply to that with your own smile. ‘Cool! I think it would really go well with this outfit. It’s seriously very beautiful on you.’ Somehow saying that last part made you feel flustered. He kissed your forehead. ‘You have some great ideas. And thank you, amore.’ He said, softly, backing up to the changing room. ‘I think we are done here. Oh…I think I will also be getting this in black…’ You looked at him with raised brows, to which he quickly threw his hands up. ‘No need for me to try those on, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be fine.’ Shaking your head in amusement, you waited for him to return to you in the original clothes he was wearing today.

 

The walk outside was nice. Holding hands, feeling his warmth next to you. For some reason, your heart beat loudly in your chest. Suddenly, he stopped. ‘Ah, mi dispiace. Cara, I didn’t mean to be selfish or rude.’ You looked at him, feeling a tiny pit in your heart. What was he saying? He saw something in your eyes because he put his hands on your shoulders again, fixing his gaze on yours. ‘Don’t worry…I merely was thinking that, if we were to eh…stay together some more, you would of course need some personal items as well, would you not…’ He said, and you realized he was nervously asking if you were going to be with him today and the coming time as well. Honestly, the thought of leaving him made you anxious. Everything felt so natural with him, he felt like home. You felt like you could be yourself with him. You kissed him then, smiling against his lips. ‘I’m not going anywhere. Hey, but can we go by my apartment right now? We’re not far from it.’ You said, realizing you recognized the street you were on. He looked happy and swung your hands back and forth. ‘Ah that’s great! Eh…sì, of course, let’s go.’ He couldn’t hide the huge grin on his face, as you made your way to your apartment.

Turning the keys in the door, you excused yourself, the apartment not being as tidy as you would have liked. Throwing off your coat, you gestured for him to do the same.
‘Hey, do you mind if I take a quick shower and then I grab some items and we set out?’ You asked, longing for the hot water on your skin, the clean feeling. He nodded. Kissing him and patting his head, saying ‘make yourself at home’ , you made your way to your shower. While washing up, your thoughts ran free.
It had been amazing with Copia, every time you saw him. He was sweet, funny, he could be so tender. He made you feel important, loved. His touches were warm, full of love. And, you remembered with a slight shock, he loved you. He had told you. You had told him. Laughing to yourself, happy, you finished your shower and got dressed again, drying your hair off as well as you could.
Walking into the living room, you saw Copia on the couch, reading a book he had pulled off your bookshelf. He looked quite relaxed.
Deciding to copy him, you spread out your arms with a ‘tada!’ . He looked up and smiled, putting the book down and coming towards you. ‘I missed you, cara. You look beautiful as always.’ He said, hugging you, smelling your hair.’You smell good.’ He said, softly. You laughed. ‘I’m glad I do.’
‘Should we go to the ministry? Or would you prefer to stay here?’ He inquired. Hmm. Your apartment was okay, but that was all. His place at the ministry seemed to be slightly bigger than your apartment, feeling cozier, comfier. ‘Let’s go back to your place, if that’s okay?’ You said, collecting some items in your bag.
‘But of course it is. Bene.’ He said, getting his coat and leaning against the couch, waiting for you.
When you were done, you grabbed his hand again and you made your way to the ministry again.

The evening was falling in, the sun setting. You were cuddled up on his couch, watching a movie. You weren’t really following it well, drinking in the feeling of being so close to him. You felt like there was a burning heat between you, a good one. You wanted to ask him to never let you go. Your head was a little under his, so you couldn’t tell if he was watching as intently as you thought he was. You heard him humming again. The same tune as he did that day in your apartment. It made you smile, recalling good memories. You stirred a little. His voice sounded soft, a little bit sleepy. ‘Cara, you remember this song from that day?’ He asked, you felt his lips brushing against the top of your head. ‘I do. I love it.’ You said, wrapping your arms around him, sitting up straighter to be able to look at him. He held onto you as well, his face very close to yours. His eyes looked warm and his hair was a little messy again, just how you liked it. Suddenly, he hooked one of his arms under your knees and rotated your legs to be draped over his lap, bringing you even closer. You felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. ‘Is this okay?’ He asked, tucking some strands of hair behind your hair. Breathless, you replied. ‘Y…eah..’ His featherlight touch on your head but the other hand grasping you tight was something else. You noticed you were grabbing onto him quite tight. You released your grip a little bit and he smiled. Something about his smile and the way he looked…

‘I really love you.’ You told him, looking at his face, holding his gaze with yours. His eyes reflected the feelings you felt inside of you, and the corners of his mouth lifted almost immediately. ‘Oh, cara. I really love you too.’ He replied. He looked so happy, not at all nervous as he did when you first saw him in the hospital that day, he looked more sure of himself, as if he only now fit his personality, look and status together. But it suited him. And you loved him. Bridging the distance between you, you leaned forwards and kissed him. Tender at first, while one of his hands held the back of your head, in your hair, the other on your waist. When you pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours. His breathing was irregular but so was yours. You felt like spilling out all of your feelings. ‘You feel like home, you…I feel so myself with you.’ You heard him exhale a shaky breath. ‘I’m so glad you do…I feel like that with you, too. I feel like a better version of myself every time I’m with you.’ He said, he started to say something else but you couldn’t hold back anymore. Kissing him more passionately now, you held onto him like your life depended on it, and he held you tight as well. Nothing mattered, only him, and you, together in this moment. You felt his tongue against your lips and you parted them, gently inviting him in, his hot breath against yours. One of his hands trailed on your back. You shivered a little, but because it felt so good.
Eventually you pulled back. A little bit out of breath, he held you tight against his chest, you smiled happily against him, your heart fluttered like never before.
He was humming something again, he was swaying the two of you a little bit.
In a quiet whisper, you heard him say something. You only really made a noise instead of asking a question, with a ‘hm?’.
He released you slightly, to look at your face. The slight blush on his face suited him. Solemnly but softy, lovingly, he spoke.
“Tu brilli come il sole, la luna e le stelle nel cielo, cara.”

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It has some things in it that might be specific, or filler, but that's the thing. If you find this to be very sweet, hurting your teeth sweet, I've done my work well. Stay tuned for more.

Chapter 4: Ascensionism

Summary:

Copia and you enjoy your time together, when he receives some news that completely changes his views on his life. Sister Imperator comes in with some more news and you try to be there as much as you can.

Notes:

Long time no see! I was rereading this fic and remembered how much fun it is writing this. I already had a large chunk of chapter 4 written, and I want to continue this fic as long as I have inspiration...and I have inspiration. Enjoy!

It was the middle of the night in Copia’s bedroom. You felt stirring next to you and a chill on your skin, slightly opening your eyes to see it was still dark in the room. The moonlight falling through the window was just enough for you to see him, sleeping next to you. You shivered a little and noticed you weren’t covered fully with the blankets anymore, neither was Copia. You looked at his face. He was asleep, the corners of his mouth curling upwards and his hair messy while he snored softly. A wave of happiness rolled through your body, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy once again. He looked so peaceful, so happy and sweet. Sitting up, you grabbed the blankets to pull them first over him, then over yourself, but while you did that, you saw his clothes were disheveled.
Of course, it was something that just happened in the night during sleep, and seeing as he had been moving in his sleep, it made sense. But now, you saw his shirt was pushed upwards, exposing his stomach and the lower part of his chest. You hadn’t seen him like that before, only catching a small glimpse of his chest when he was trying on some clothing earlier.

You saw hairs on his chest trail down, peeking out of the shirt and down in a line over his stomach and belly button, disappearing into his pants. You stared at him for longer than you intended, feeling your face burning and your stomach at this point just felt like it was made of butterflies. He was beautiful like this, too. His skin looked soft and you wanted to touch him, just to feel if he was indeed as soft as he looked, but you refrained from that, not being able to ask for his consent during his slumber.
You pulled the blankets over him and yourself, laying down facing him. You pressed a kiss to his jaw and closed your eyes.

Suddenly, his arm moved and wrapped around you, pulling you against him more. He murmured something, very soft, and you couldn’t tell if he was talking in his sleep or slightly awake.
‘Copia?’ You whispered, heart pounding rapidly for some reason. It was quiet for a beat and you were almost sure he had been talking in his sleep, when suddenly he moved his head and you felt him kiss the top of yours.
‘Grazie…’ he whispered and you nodded against him. ‘Beginning to...get cold…’ his voice sleepy and soft, slurring his words. You kissed his jaw again, being the closest reachable part of his face in the position you were in.
Then, he turned around, facing you and wrapping you in both arms, pulling you tight against him. His soft warm body pressed against yours as he cupped your face in his hand, his touch hot on your skin, making your heart flutter.
‘Of course…I was cold, too.’ You finally replied with a small voice.
A sleepy chuckle. ‘Did you like the view?’
You were sure you were bright red by now. You stuttered a bit when replying.
‘View? What are you…what kind of view…’ Another soft chuckle.
‘I was cold and you were sitting up for a while, cara.’
He sighed as you tried to collect your thoughts and control your breathing. Had he noticed you staring at him like that?
‘I peeked through my lashes…mi dispiace, tesoro…’ He sounded apologetic, caressing your face.
You went and turned away a bit, pulling your head back to try and look at his face, barely visible in the pale moonlight.
‘Okay, yes…but you just looked so soft and warm and….’ You paused, suddenly shy.
He kissed your forehead. ‘I am soft and warm here with you by my side…’ he mused, letting your unfinished sentence hang in the air.
‘You just look so beautiful…’ You spilled out, burying your face in the crook of his neck.
He didn’t say anything, but you felt his breathing stutter and he made a sound. ‘Grazie amore…’ he whispered, sounding less steady. You rolled around to lean on your elbows, now able to barely see his face, studying it. ‘Are you okay?’ You asked as he looked at you. His eyes shone in the moonlight as he held onto you with one arm while the other was tucking your hair away from your face. The gesture made you feel soft, well, softer than you already were.
Silently, he nodded. He glanced down and then looked at your face again, to which you followed his gaze.
Oh. You could still see his exposed stomach and part of his chest, which were just inches away from your fingertips. Somehow, this felt like a dream.

‘Can I…can I touch you?’ You stammered and he looked at you, half perplexed and half amused.
‘You are, are you not, cara?’ He whispered, pulling your head down towards his a little more, a small smirk on his lips. You rolled your eyes but smiled at him.
‘I mean, your…your stomach, it just looks like it would feel so soft…’ You admitted, shyly averting your eyes. He blinked a few times. He tried to speak but nothing came out, scraping his throat and trying again, in a hoarse whisper. ‘You want to touch my stomach?’ He sounded nervous, insecure almost. Your gaze softened and focused on his face again, so close that you could kiss the tip of his nose. ‘Only if you are good with that, I didn’t wanna just…do it without ever even asking…’ You whispered and he looked up at you blissfully, with a nervous smile on his lips.
‘Tesoro, of course you can do it. Grazie for asking.’ He said and he kept looking at your face, your eyes. You thought you could make out a hint of insecurity in his gaze.
Reassurance. ‘Copia, if you are not comfortable with that it is more than okay. I just…you are beautiful, you feel so safe and soft and warm when I’m with you. I really want to make you feel loved, because you are. So loved. By me, I mean, in this case…’ You rambled a little bit and he chuckled, pulling you in for a small kiss. ‘I love you, tesoro.’ He whispered and leaned your forehead against his, before letting go of you. You curled up next to him and he extended an arm to wrap around you. You could hear his breath and his heartbeat, as you placed your hand on his clothed chest. The life flowed beneath your fingers and you slid down to his uncovered stomach, coming to rest there.
He *did* feel soft, and warm. The skin to skin touch felt like there was electricity between you, a very good kind of it. He sighed and placed his free hand on the one on his stomach.
‘Is it good?’ He asked, chuckling nervously.
You nodded, realizing that maybe he could not see that and answered him. ‘It…yes, actually, it does, it feels as I thought it would.’ You chuckled and you felt him shake a little too with silent laughter.
For a while you just layed there, just enjoying the moment.

You woke up hearing a phone ringing, opening your eyes to the room being lit up with morning sunlight.
Next to you, Copia stirred, and you saw he was awake, sitting more upright and glancing around the room in alarm at the noise.
Realizing it was your phone, you stumbled out of bed to answer it.

Having spoken to whoever was calling, you tried locating all your clothes and other items while Copia was too surprised to speak by the sudden action.
‘Tesoro- what is it?’ He asked, swinging himself out of bed as well.
You sighed. ‘It was the hospital. I totally forgot I was covering my coworkers shift…my mind hasn't been there during work.’ You smiled apologetically. While he looked on.
‘You have to leave now?’
Combing through your hair and splashing water on your face you came back into the room, nodding. You couldn't help but feel a little sad at this intrusion, even though it was your responsibility.
‘It's not a long time - a coworker had an appointment she couldn't reschedule - I said I would fill in for her…’ you rambled, looking around to see if you had your most important items gathered.
He came up to you and placed his hands on your shoulders. ‘Okay, tesoro, take it easy, sí?’
You took a deep breath. ‘I will, I’m sorry…will I see you later?’
He embraced you. ‘No sorry necessary, hm? And I would like that. I have some important meetings this day, are you free this evening?’
You nodded, smiling and pulling away, giving him a kiss. ‘I'm looking forward to it. Good luck at your important meetings, okay?’
There was something in his eyes that almost looked nervous, anxious. It was similar to what you had seen when you met him that first time.
He nodded, squeezing your shoulders.
‘It's gonna go by quickly, I'll see you this evening.’ You assured him, grabbing his head and kissing him, then walking towards the door, turning around and taking some steps back toward him.
‘and…I love you.’ You added, a little shy about the suddenness of it all but he smiled and gave you a small head kiss. ‘and I love you, amore.’

Hurrying towards the hospital, muttering a string of apologies to your coworker who was quite tolerant of you- ‘it's okay, you're not very late, really-’ you sat there at the desk, it was busy in the morning but turned agonizingly slow. Time seemed to go extra slow as you reminisced about the time you had spent with your - well, you hadn't given it a name. Boyfriend felt too childish. Lover? Your thoughts settled on that. He had been so tired lately, seemingly more than usual. He attributed that to working hard while also being occupied in his head by you- something he said he enjoyed.
Deciding to task yourself with organizing the administration you had been slacking on, you worked away until you heard your coworker come back in. ‘I’m back! Thank you so much for filling in for me’ She thanked you, and you nodded, smiling at her.
‘I was just doing the administration, I slacked off with that.’ She peered over at what you were doing. ‘Thank you, you definitely didn’t have to, I could’ve done that!’
You explained it wasn’t a big deal and turned around to go get your phone from your bag.
It was the early afternoon and you sent Copia a message, wishing him luck with the important meetings. You didn’t expect a quick reply, he usually forgot about things like this and would be very busy during the day.

 

Putting on your jacket, you went back to your apartment. You had the time to do some tasks, cleaning a bit, tidying up, and some extensive self care.
When eventually you let yourself fall down on the couch, you saw it was already almost 6 in the evening. You grabbed your phone, expecting Copia to have called or messaged seeing he wanted to meet you this evening, but there wasn’t any notification.
It did feel strange. The feeling of something being up immediately seeped into your thoughts, even though you knew he could be busy and just finishing up. Maybe he was taking a shower. You decided to send him a message.

[17:45] “Hey lover. What time would you like me to come over? No rush. xx”

You made sure the sound was on and threw your phone down next to you on the couch, picking up a random book from your table. Not that you could focus on reading much.
After what felt like an eternity, you grabbed your phone again. No reply. Should you message again?

[18:05] “I hope you’re okay, don’t overwork yourself. If this evening is too much I can just swing by tomorrow maybe?”

Usually around this time he would be done. Lately he had been working later, that’s true, but he did have time for you. Suddenly you felt a little selfish. He had his own life, his own responsibilities. He was the leader of an entire clergy and band, you couldn’t forget that. Yet you had a growing uneasy feeling in your stomach.
You debated on just going to the ministry anyway to see if he was at least okay, but decided to wait for a sign of life first, picking up the book again. After reading the same sentence about twelve times, you threw that back down on the table and put music on instead, blaring it throughout your apartment, trying not to overthink.

You curled up on your couch, closing your eyes to focus on the music for a while, trying to sing along to distract yourself, almost missing the noise your phone made.
As if stung by a bee you jumped up, frantically looking for your phone between the couch cushions, shutting down the music.

[18:45] “Amore, I will come by your apartment. Shall we go for a walk?”

You read it a few times. His tone seemed off. Your stomach was in knots, even though the message itself didn’t contain anything strange. He was so formal, suddenly. Late.
Immediately replying with a ‘yes’, you grabbed your coat, getting ready to leave as soon as he would come.
After a while, you heard knocking. With your heart pounding in your throat and your breathing shallow and almost panicked, you opened the door.
There was Copia. He smiled at you, greeting you but you saw something in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Putting on your coat and fumbling with your keys, you closed the door and grabbed his hands. “Please tell me you’re okay, are you?”
He kissed your forehead. “I’m okay, and you are too, right?” He replied, studying your face.
You nodded, uncertain. “I am…but I feel like something is up.”
His smile faltered and he pulled you with him.
“Let’s walk. I just need some fresh air…I just need to think. I will tell you, alright tesoro?”
Exiting the building, you clung onto his hand as if he would slip away if you didn’t. Something was wrong, something was going on. Was it you? Was it the two of you? You wouldn’t give up so easily, not now, you loved him- he had told you he loved you too, so what could be going on?

“I got some news today.” He said and you were pulled out of your thoughts. You were walking in the big park near where you lived, with soft hills, the same place he had taken you the first time you had been together. He had pointed you to the ministry from here.
The lights in the distance almost seemed like extra stars in the sky.
He sat down on a bench, with you sitting next to him, holding his hands and turning towards him.
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Your heart was going to burst out of your chest with anxiety.
“I will be ascending to Papa soon.” He said, his eyes still closed. His breath was shaky.
For some reason, you hadn’t expected it to be this at all. Partly happy, because you had been afraid it was something between the two of you, but partly anxious because of the way he seemed to feel about this. You had never spoken much about this, as it was a delicate subject. He had expressed his opinions on papacy a few times, but never in depth. It seemed like a possible far away kind of thing.

“Did they tell you that today?” You asked, your voice soft as your fingers caressed his.
Suddenly his increasingly nervous manners from the past weeks made sense. Had he known this was coming?
He nodded. “They did. They wasted no time in immediately jumping into the logistics and bureaucracy attached…”
He sat up and opened his eyes, looking at you.
“I didn’t mean to ignore you today. It’s just…I don't know how to feel, tesoro. About that. It comes with such a responsibility, so many expectations…”
He sounded unsure of himself and you wrapped your arms around him. He sucked in a big gulp of air. “It’s okay, I understand that it’s…a lot, suddenly…” you said, patting him on the back.
You sat in silence for a while, just hugging each other when he spoke again.
“I’m going to be so busy with the preparations. They said it’s more short term than they would want it to be. I don’t know why. Logistics, apparently.”
He paused.
“Did you want to become Papa?” You asked, pulling back and looking him in the eyes. He stared at your hands holding his.
“I did. I do. But the last time I imagined myself as Papa was…well, before meeting you.” His voice was soft. He sniffed loudly. Suddenly something in your mind clicked.
“We can’t be together.” You said, trying not to let your fear seep through in your voice.
He scraped his throat. “No. Yes. I don’t know, they haven’t said anything about that. But amore…” He took your hands and looked in your eyes. “I want to be with you, I don’t care what they will say.” He seemed determined.
You felt a little sad. Of course you wanted to be with him, it was all you wanted. But he had dreamed of becoming Papa for so long, you knew that. What if you couldn’t be together?
Squeezing your hands, he got your attention. “Are you okay?” He asked, his gaze soft. Him being the one to ask you this while he was struggling with something, you shook your head. “Copia, this is about you…” Oh, shit. Your sadness was in your voice. You scraped your throat. “I mean, I’m okay, I’m just…I’m just thinking, a lot. Please don’t worry about me.”

“I will worry. But…I am thinking a lot, too. Truthfully, cara, I feel…scared.” His voice cracked and the emotion behind it caught you off guard. Standing up, you pulled him with you and hugged him tight. “Let’s go to my apartment, okay?” You said, coaxing him with you as he nodded.
The walk to your place wasn’t long, but it was silent. He was holding your hand tight, as were you holding his, as if to underline the connection you had.
Opening the doors and locking them behind you, you shook off your coat and pulled his off too, draping them on one of your chairs before directing him to the couch, turning on some of the small lamps, bathing the room in a cozy soft light.
Sitting on the couch, you leaned back and motioned for him to come sit against you, which he did. You wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m scared that things will change. But not for the better. I have never felt alive in this way…” He said, his voice coming out choppy, you heard he was holding back emotion.
You shushed and stroked his hair. “It’s okay. And, have they said anything about changes, or do you know of any?”
He sniffled. “Only about responsibilities Papa has, that I would have to wear different clothes when others see me, that I would have to pick out skull paint and get it approved…”
You were just thinking about these things. They didn’t sound too bad, new clothing and a new makeup didn’t sound like the worst thing to happen. You didn’t want to invalidate his feelings, though. But there must be something else that warranted his fear.
“It will be okay, I promise. I will be there for you, okay? Hey, I could go talk to Miss Imperator if you want? I think she liked me.’ With a small smile you remember the first time you met Copia. He had been nervous, but he had also seemed sweet and lovable.

“It’s…it’s fine, amore, she is actually the most supportive and listening to my wishes…it’s just, my fear isn’t…I don’t think its unrealistic.” He said, his voice getting smaller near the end and he pressed himself against you with his eyes closed. Whatever it was, he really was afraid of it.
“That’s good, I’m glad she is.” You kissed his head and thought of what he could be scared of when suddenly it hit you.
The papa’s. Their fates. You knew what happened, you asked him one time about Papa Emeritus III- Copia called him Terzo, you knew what the public knew and how much Copia had valued him and his opinions, even if they bickered as siblings do.
But it had always been a painful topic. The way he had passed had not been natural. His reign as Papa had come to an abrupt end.
Copia must be scared the same fate would befall him. But, you thought, things were so different now. The clergy was different, they were known so much better, the dynamics seemed to be different. You didn’t know what exactly happened behind the scenes back then, but you did know Copia was specifically brought in to help them out, being personally appointed by Imperator.

“I think it will be okay. Of course I understand you’re afraid…I will be there. I will always be there and if you, or I get even the tiniest sign that something is going awry- I swear, I will get us out of here immediately- we can go live somewhere-” you rambled, trying to reassure him.
He let out a small teary chuckle. “Are you kidnapping me?”
“If I have to.” You promised. He was quiet before speaking again in a hoarse whisper.
“I just wish I could talk to Terzo for advice.”
The emotion in his voice struck you and you felt it in your heart. “Copia…” You whispered, stroking his head.
“Or Secondo, or Primo…they would know what to do, what will happen…I feel alone in this.” He said, his voice soft.
You knew those were previous Papa’s before the third. The days where everyone had been alive must have been great. You felt sadness for Copia. “I know that I’m not like them, but you won’t be alone. I will do whatever I can to help you. Okay?” You said, determined.
He nodded, and you kissed his forehead in support.

 

Some days later, you were over at the Ministry again. Copia was stuck in meetings about the upcoming ascension and you had offered your help, both for Copia and out of your hospital experience, which proved to be very useful with Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil.
Your work at the hospital had become part time, as you were at the Ministry so often that it felt like you had two jobs. They paid you, though, and you were happy about that.
Today you were doing a routine check up on Sister Imperator, who had felt slightly fragile lately. She was sitting in a chair as you rifled through her file. “It’s nothing, really…I just figured it’s better to check routinely.” She said, crossing her legs, leaning back.
You put the file down. “Well, your health is good. The accident can’t even be seen anymore, it’s just that…” you thought for a second. She raised an eyebrow. “Out with it, I can handle it” she said. “There’s just some usual deficits and issues a woman of your age might have. It’s nothing to worry about, and I’m sure you were aware of this too. Just take care, maybe take some additional vitamins, but if you still feel fragile in a few weeks, we’ll do another check up.”
She looked at you for a few seconds, registering it. Then she chuckled. “Well, I’m not the youngest anymore. Thank you.”

You hesitated. You wanted to bring up Copia and his fears about the consequences of becoming Papa, but you weren’t sure if this was the right setting. Sister Imperator, however, had the gift of reading this kind of thing right off your face.
She bent forward. “I know you want to talk about something. You can, especially now that you and my son are so…entwined.” She smiled a little at the end.
You stared at her. Copia was her son? For some reason, no one had ever really mentioned it, even though it made sense as you thought about it.
She noticed your surprise. “I…haven’t always been such a good parent. I regret that. Things were difficult, the ministry had much harsher rules. Of course that does not excuse it…but I want to support him, I want what’s best for him.” She said, her voice sounded soft.
You nodded and asked “Does Copia…” She nodded as well. “Yes. I wanted to tell him sooner, I really did, it just…didn’t work out that way. That’s why I want to help him every step of the way right now, especially with his father being like…that.”

You did know Nihil was Copia’s father. It wasn’t really a secret, and you disliked Nihil for treating Copia the way he did. You weren’t happy to hear of Sister Imperator not taking good care of Copia either, and it ached your heart.
At least she was trying now. You did your best to not scoff. “Sister…Copia’s ascension, he is scared of possible…negative consequences. I know he wants to become Papa, he’s worked so hard for it…” You said, not quite sure how to formulate your thoughts.
“He really did work hard.” She smiled, seemingly proud. You gave a small smile yourself, feeling proud of Copia as well.
“But” you continued, your voice serious. “there’s just a few…things. He doesn’t really know who to ask for advice, and…well, would it be okay if we…if we still…” your voice trailed off, looking at your lap while you felt your face getting hot.
Sister Imperator was quiet for a few seconds and hummed. You noticed both her and Copia hummed when they were thinking.
“I understand. It’s not ideal, but it’s the way it is right now. He will figure it out, I will be here to point him in the right direction…and of course, he’s got you now. You’re good for him.” She said, looking at you intently.
Did this mean you and Copia could still be together? Your heart beat fast. “I want to be together with him, no matter what. I’m in love with him…that’s all I want…” you felt a little nervous when you once again realized you were saying this to his mother, who chuckled a little.

She put her hand on your arm. “So then you will be together. I won’t deny him anything. Plus, when he is Papa, he will have a certain amount of power.” She smiled a little and stood up.
“Thank you…” you said, not knowing what else to say as she bowed her head a little and left.
A while later you heard some soft knocks on the door, before it opened and Copia himself entered the room, looking more relaxed than he had looked the past few days.
You stood up and came towards him, smiling. Before you could say anything, he pulled you into a tight hug, all but lifting you from the floor.
You laughed. “What’s gotten you so happy?” He released you and took your hands. His smile was wide and your heart beat fast, but because it was so good to see him like this.
“Amore…we will be together. No matter what. I will become Papa and you and I…we will be together. “ He said, his voice light and sounding like a promise.
You wanted to tell him that Sister Imperator had told you that earlier, but he already started talking more.
“Sister Imperator…she came to me and she told me that…to be honest, that really makes a lot of the anxiety go away…” He sighed deep, a sigh of relief.
You embraced him again, and you left to go on a walk outside to talk about everything.

Holding hands, you strolled the grounds of the ministry. “There will be changes…some more drastic than others but- ah, we’ll be together through it all…” He said, a little uncertain but happier towards the end.
“Hmm..changes. Like you becoming Papa and having to get new paints and clothes?” You said, swinging your hands back and forth.
“Sí. There was also talk of…something about my face. A change. I’ll still be myself, of course…” He said, and you heard he was holding something back.
A change in his face?
“But Copia, why?” You asked. He stopped walking and inspected some nearby rose bushes.
“These are going to be so beautiful when they bloom…to be loved is to be changed, they say…” He murmured.
Your stomach felt a little strange. You were happy for him, happy that you could still be together, but now you were anxious about that changing aspect.

He turned towards you. “It’s part of it all, we’ll see it when we see it. I’ll still be me, just…not the Cardinal anymore, finalmente.” He chuckled a little at the end, putting you more at ease.
It was true. He would always be you Copia, no matter what would happen. What was going to happen, would happen anyways, and you would be with him every step of the way.

Taking your hand again, he walked in the direction of the ministry again. “Already cutting it short?” You said, not that you minded it.
“I eh…really want to be with you and dance a little…” he admitted, smiling.
“Then we will” you replied, and you walked back to the ministry in light spirits.

Notes:

Hey! This fic loosely follows the existing plot of the the band ghost. It's meant to be fluffy and sweet, with added touches of anxiety, angst, and insecurity for hurt/comfort. I'll keep adding to this for the foreseeable future.