unable to die; unable to sleep

by Ortho (dacryzoid)

Summary:

Luck is something only other people get. But one gotta deal with the hand they are given. Maybe one spent on some UR+ waifu in the game of life, that would explain a lot. Not that it matters either way, the world tells you to keep on going forward regardless of your personal wounds. Not to mention, the mask must be sympathetic.

"The truth is that, you don't want to pay attention to someone so dull. So you don't." Your feelings don't matter, and only yours.
You are only sad for now after all.

"Yuu" is a mentally ill (whose well adjustment comes with heavy prices) liar adult gone isekai. For some reason the universe of Twisted Wonderland expects star to either watch or keep teenagers from being bombmen and involve tons of people in their crisis. And the worst of all: "Yuu" is cute enough to land a blue screen 👀 No, just kidding, the worst is that it gets harder to say reality isn't trying to kill star whenever Yuu almost dies. A denpa love story about going half mental and still be loved even when one is unworthy of it.
Like life, love doesn't care whether you deserve it, it just finds you anyway.

Notes:

this is a remake of a previous fic called "mothball, snowflake, dead child" without the language barrier. because i grew bored with it. (i keep the parts i like tho) also with the ship already.
i will try to keep things novel lol i get the whole remaking the game with your OC/self, but i want my spin to be interesting and i can't even play the game where i am lol
"i fear i will be ripped open and found unslightly" gives a good picture of this Yuu, if curious, although younger. generally, sta is mentally ill, aplatonic demiaroace and stargender. might be autistic. baby face, looks like 14.

And yea, sta get it on with Ortho without being ten years old. gasp. blame the ones who decided there was only one robot in the game, boohoo. 10yo Angelu is not even interesting, too traumatized lmao and it would be lolicon.
Ortho is 16yo to me, but even if he isn't? idc because haters don't care (thanks obm fandom for teaching me 300yo+ is too young). Not to mention, i don't think age counts for his maturity considering he's a robot. To me and in this fic, he can consent. That's it.

btw i'm aroace so the romance might come off aroace spicy, especially at first.
well, every underrated romance deserves a long fic flirting with them

Chapter 1: mothball, snowflake, dead child

Summary:

Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient

You would stand in the room so still sometimes, so wordless sometimes, as if the greatest betrayal of yourself would be to reveal one more inch of your character.

I know picking a fight with your kidnapper isn't proper kidnappee behavior. But see, I have an argument about that.

I don't care. I don't. I couldn't care less that I was kidnapped to a college, and thinking about that, quite United States behavior, bleh—, not when this guy seems to have never seen a cat in his life, much less hold one!

"Give me that thing already, you are hurting it!" I might not be very expressive or empathetic, but a baby would die held that way. The man is really daft but also pretty agile considering how he escapes me.

"You should have held your familiar better before! I won't give him back so you allow property damage!" I was trying to not hurt this man but he's kinda asking for it, isn't he? It's rude to not give him a good beating, isn't it?

Like, sure, I don't know why the cat is kind of on fire. I woke up already drooling in the floor, naked and helpless, and then this guy comes with clothes like I'm some kind of newborn. I'm dressed up, noticed he was holding the cat thing and then boom! Fight.

"I will give him back after the ceremony, when your dorm is chosen!"

"I DON'T STUDY HERE." I make grabby hands, but the guy shoves his hand on my face, keeping me away. What with his gloves anyway.

He's complaining about sweating when he finally hands me the thing. Mine now, I guess. Although the man compromises that it gotta stay tied up and I guess I don't have a kitty carrying box at hand, so I acquiesce.

It seems I'm in a college called Night Raven. "Is surprise recruitment a common method to call students in?" I ask, considering my circumstances.

"Of course not! All of our students receive previously a letter inviting them to this prestigious school!" The man almost stumbles when hearing the question.

"Huh. I wonder who kidnapped me in then."

"Nobody could! The dark carriage brings the students who accept our invitation and not other school's, like RSA." I wonder what RSA stands for. Not really, but still. Well, it seems what kidnapped me was the carriage, but he has no control over the thing? I pat the weird cat squirming, shooshing it.

This is rather troubling though.

I'm Angelu, twenty-five years old. I had just finished public college, so I shouldn't be here. And yet, although I blink several times, I'm still here. By mistake even.

My brothers will worry.

Sure, I don't have the best track in luck. Me and my older brother worked so hard to get our younger brother back from the murderer's family, living in that woman's place.

And now I can't even enjoy it? This is such bullshit.

I'm not super upset though. It's doing the detached feeling thing. It's more, I know I should be upset, and so I act like it, but in my heart of hearts, I'm just... Annoyed. Bored. Tired. It has to be a dream, and when will I wake up?

I yawn without manners, seeing this whole fancy shit. The cool door sure is detailed, but I bet it's expensive. Then again, I always thought detailed stuff is cool, they reminded me of pretty visions I saw in childhood. I might not fit alongside them, being fat and plain, but I can appreciate the hard work the creators put in.

Coming in, it's almost quiet despite the loud whispering of teenagers. Everyone is dressed up in the tunic I was made to wear. It's a little disquieting.

Fuck, I forgot to log in my mobile games today. I hope this can be finished soon. They were downloaded to make the passage of time worthy being felt.

And it seems it will! I was the last one. Great!

The mirror speaks, and my reflex isn't there. Ooo, I'm a vampire now. Whatevs. "I'm Yuu." I lie, genre-savvy.

Maybe it's because I lied. The mirror rejects me and my... Magic. Excuse me, I didn't learn those magic tricks at nine to get that answer.

The cat struggles in my arms, biting my hand when I try to calm it down. It said a lot of stuff, but since I didn't expect a cat to talk, I missed out, rubbing the wound on my clothes. The poor thing is clearly scared out of his wits though, maybe I should have demanded a kitty carrying box.

When I see the cat thing, my brain didn't think up much ahead, but it's a dream, right? So I jumped into the fire.

This isn’t actually happening.

Held the cat close to my body.

And.

I felt.

The fire lick.

My bones clean.

Notes:

btw those lil poetry i put in the beginning, it's because i used to collect for moodboards. now i use for titles and stuff.
the chosen ones are meant to be Angelucore, pilled even, because i enjoy writing character development away from the reader, so that's kinda a compromise