Chapter Text
“I’ve been putting a lot of thought into it. Soccer was the first time I really valued my body for something other than looks. My endurance, my speed…” Jackie leans her naked back against the desk chair, carrying the phone with her. “And I do kind of miss playing, anyway. Being in a sorority isn’t the same as being on a team.”
“I don’t know about that.” Shauna answers. “There’s the same amount of binge drinking.”
”Hilarious. Hardy har har.” Jackie jokes flatly.
She hears a small exhale on the other line, a smile creeping into Shauna’s voice. “I think it’s a great idea, as long as you’re eating. Do whatever helps. Just try not to burn yourself out in the process.”
Shauna hasn’t let up with the worrying since they parted, never failing to remind Jackie to rest after wringing her dry. But this is nothing too strenuous, only club soccer. She figured there’d most likely be less stress if she started off with something less competitive than the school’s official team.
Not that she’s even starting anytime soon. She still needs to work up to it. Maybe she’ll join whenever she can entertain the idea without her brain going hip, hip, hooray, and immediately lighting up like a switchboard at the thought of burning more calories. Soccer isn’t supposed to be about that. You don’t just play because of your own needs, you play for your team’s.
Regardless of how long it takes, it’s nice to be able to pin a goal on the horizon. One that’s healthy, at least. The promise of becoming strong enough for a game again actually works as encouragement to eat, and something tells her she’ll succeed at getting Nat to practice with her until she’s ready. (Fortunately no one is more easily bribed by alcohol and free food.)
If not, maybe she’ll beg Shauna to kick her the ball over break. Her powers of persuasion have become particularly impressive lately.
“Ironic. You didn’t seem to care about me burning out five minutes ago.” Jackie reminds her girlfriend slyly, stretching one leg onto the desk. Four of her fingertips are still pruny from her own slick.
”That was different. You needed it, remember?”
”I remember.” Jackie shivers, savoring the low throb between her thighs, feeling it pulse fretfully against her sticking underwear. She wishes she could cling to the sensation. As much as Jackie loves their phone calls, they’re never quite enough now that she knows what the alternative is. “It was great, but still not as good as the real thing.”
Shauna makes a noise of agreement. “Same here. I miss touching you myself.”
Jackie misses that and much, much more. Shauna’s hands all over her body, Shauna’s mouth on hers, Shauna’s tongue buried deep inside. She bites her lip, restraining herself. “Well, you won’t have to wait long. Just seventeen more hours, and I’m all yours.”
”You’re always all mine.” Shauna tells her without skipping a beat, causing Jackie to grin stupidly.
”Technically true, but you know what I mean.”
”I do.” Shauna amends before pausing for a second, seeming to contemplate saying something. “I can’t stop thinking about it… being with you. I can’t hold my hands still. My mom wants me for Thanksgiving obviously, but otherwise...”
They’ll have a whole three days free.
Jackie can’t contain her anticipation. ”Me either. Did you buy the toys yet?”
”Not yet. I’m going to once I head back to Wiskayok. I know there’s a couple shops along the way that’ll have what we need.” Shauna explains, which Jackie likes the sound of. Shopping between towns means that there’s little chance of anyone catching onto either of them.
Honestly, if Shauna was spotted buying a strap-on, half of their former classmates would likely assume it was going to go home to Jackie. She’s heard enough 69ing jokes to last a lifetime.
”And just how do you know this?” Jackie probes, fully suggestively. Here’s hoping the answer isn’t another girl showed me.
”Take your head out of the gutter. I saw them while riding up to campus for the first time. Turns out, if you move enough miles away from town things get less puritanical pretty quick.”
”I guess I’ll see for myself whenever I visit.”
”Make that soon.” Shauna tells her, so blatantly impatiently that it has Jackie chuckling. “I can pick up some movies, too, if you want. Or we could try and binge watch something.”
“Like ninth grade with Saved by the Bell?”
”Like ninth grade with Saved by the Bell.” Shauna confirms warmly, sharing the same thought.
“I’d love that.” Jackie’s mind is already whirring from the possibilities. “Find something romantic but not like Romeo and Juliet levels of sad. I don’t want to cry outside of the bedroom.”
Shauna laughs her prettiest laugh. The one that’s always achingly fleeting. “Noted. Look, I’ve got to go, I have a class to catch. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I love you.”
”I love you, too. Bye, baby.”
“Bye.”
Pressing a tiny kiss to the phone before setting it down, she exhales happily, hit with a wave of what can only be referred to as pure elation. Seventeen more hours. Not long to wait. A good night’s sleep, a thorough shower, a couple hours on a couple buses, and she’ll literally be home free. Dawdling away the days underneath Shauna, watching movie after movie, talking well into each night, making love and screwing endlessly. Like falling inside a dream.
She sits nearby the desk a little while longer, basking in the afterglow of Shauna’s voice, as if doing so will magically teleport them together.
Eventually, sitting in her nakedness becomes a discomfort rather than a pleasure, the wet spots on her beginning to dry and plaster too tight. Being reminded of her body’s existence isn’t exactly a crowning delight these days. In her cloud of Shauna-induced lust, she’d forgotten the few planes of her frame she hadn’t managed to chisel down yet. Rounded arms, plushy thighs, forever grating stomach. All the tiny spots she relies on Shauna to distract her from.
She’s sure a few less meals would’ve done the job in getting rid of them, but she’d vowed to Shauna to eat each one, and she had, and now — well, nothing left to do about it, is there?
Just seventeen more hours.
Then, she’ll be seeing Shauna again. Seeing her old friends again. Seeing her family again. And they’ll be seeing her right back.
*
Contrary to popular belief, Jackie can navigate a couple of routes without falling apart at the seams.
Sure, squeezing between strangers for hours isn’t exactly comfortable (nor is plastering her ass to a sweaty, plastic seat), but it isn’t a dealbreaker, given what’s waiting on the finish line. One night alone with Shauna and some handcuffs would be worth every cramped, humid second.
The day before Thanksgiving, she walks off the bus safe, on time — and smelling like several different people’s BO. As the bus rattles to a stop, she gives herself a subtle sniff and frowns. Wowza. Maybe it’s a good thing she’s not meeting Shauna immediately.
Just her parents.
Stepping onto the uncrowded street corner is mostly a relief, despite the nerves in her belly. Part of her worries some old acquaintance will jump suddenly out of the woodworks to say hi, but hardly anyone lingers around. No curly-haired Maybe Mistys or towering Potential Lotties, just a scattering of strangers. It’s almost too easy to spot her parents standing nearby. She has no time to prepare before they’re there, leaning against their family mini van.
The image feels surreal. Her dad with his blue, checkered button-down and khakis. Her mom with her fine, white pearls and dress. So familiar but also so distant somehow, as if she’s staring at a picture she melted out of.
”Jacqueline! Jackie! Over here!”
An odd mixture of joy and dread introduces itself to Jackie’s innards, homesickness fluttering through her chest, while something more venomous mars her stomach. It’d been difficult to keep anything besides a protein bar down this morning, but now she has to clench her teeth not to permanently lose her lunch.
Relax. It’s not like you don’t know what to expect.
Quickly, Jackie swallows her fear and hastens to meet them, bile disappearing down her throat.
Although, knowing what to expect might be the exact problem…
As soon as she gets close enough to see their smiles, two excited pairs of hands are reaching out. “Finally. There you are, dear.”
”Hi—“
“Don’t be shy.” Her mom cuts in. “You’re never too old to give your parents a hug.”
Yanked forward, Jackie stumbles into their embrace, fighting not to wince as the air is crushed out of her. For a second, all noise replaces with the sound of her father’s questions and her mother’s cooing, both of them swarming her at once, so that their combined enthusiasm nearly drives her off her feet. Inhaling laboriously, she struggles first for breath and then to be able to push past the unexpected, twisting discomfort at them gripping her limbs this strongly. Stuck in the middle the way she is, her body squeezes similarly to a piping bag, fat seeming to burst between their fingers.
They must feel it. That little roll she hadn’t quite chipped away. A wave of uncertainty, bordering on regret, bowls her over almost as forcefully as they do. Surely, they’ve noticed. Surely, now they’re going to—
“We were worried we’d keep you waiting, but it looks like it all worked out.” Her dad tells her, perfectly normally. No comments, concerned or critical. No staring. No mention of her weight. “Was the bus trouble?”
Jackie remains rooted to the spot for a second, disbelieving. Really? Nothing? It’s not like she was expecting thunderous applause or horrified gasps or anything but something. Nat and Shauna had nearly shit a brick over this just last week.
A teensy, tiny part of her is disappointed.
“Uh, no, actually, it was fine.” She says. That teensy, tiny part of her probably needs to die.
While she’s still reeling, her mom steps fussily by him, cupping Jackie’s cheeks.
”Look at this face.” Eagerly gripping her chin, her mom turns her head this way and that, admiring the angles of it. “Howard, didn’t you miss this face?”
“Everyday.” Her dad beams proudly, setting his hands inside his slacks. “It only ever gets prettier.”
The sight of his crinkling eyes, paired with his fond, familiar smile disarms her, thawing some of her nervous energy. These are her parents, after all. Maybe she’s the strange one, acting so bewildered, expecting hell to break loose.
“Thanks, dad.” Jackie replies, slightly sheepish, but bolstered by his compliment. An evil voice in her head is preening triumphantly. “I missed you, too.”
Prettier. You know they mean skinnier.
Jackie ignores it. She can’t afford to think like that. Not anymore.
Immediate family reunion over, they pile into the car and pull away from the bus stop, still without reaching any sort of disaster. Her dad handles the wheel, while her mom twists to chatter at Jackie, who folds herself in the backseat, tucking her hands beneath her thighs, the same way she liked to when she was five.
”Now, you’re going to have to give us every detail from start to finish.” Her mom tells her. “Absolutely no skimping. What classes you’re taking next, who your best friends are, where you like to spend all of your time when you’re ignoring your parents’ calls.”
Jackie smiles, hopefully without any visible strain. “I like a lot of the small coffee shops nearby. There’s this little place nearby called Brew Haven that has these blueberry pancakes that are just the best...”
Lapsing back into her old chattering rhythm is surprisingly easy, her tongue working like a well-tuned radio, spouting this after that. Sorority bake sales, overlong assignments, girls trips, midnight study sessions, frat parties, and boycotts. All the professors she hated, all the professors she loved. Half of it is bullshit, lies she has to come up with on the spot to hide the fact that most of her life only counts to her now if it’s measured in calories. She doesn’t remember every night out, but she does remember every day she succeeded and every day that she failed. How it felt, only relying on scraps, and how it felt, surrendering guiltily to another mouthful.
But honest or not, it’s nice to talk. Nice to be able to prattle on and be met with warm, adoring attention that she doesn’t have to question or fret over. Her parents always seem interested in her every word, no matter how mundane. So much so that she wishes she genuinely had some amazing, authentic college stories to bestow upon them. Nothing truly great has happened, outside of her practically having her insides rearranged by Shauna, which is information she’s not planning on sharing.
“…it was surprisingly really rewarding.” She finishes. “Keeping busy is a must there. I was even thinking about getting back into soccer.”
Her dad perks up at the mention of sports. More specifically, her athletic career. “Yeah? Sounds like those Scarlet Knights are going to get a new star player, then.”
Jackie grins just before her mom chimes in.
”That’s a wonderful decision.”
“Really?” Jackie asks incredulously. Last time she checked, she was supposed to go for a more delicate hobby. She still has the underused ballet slippers and toddler’s cheer skirt somewhere in the back of her closet.
”Sure. How else are you going to get your exercise? When I was in college, I did cheer all four years, and it kept me slim as a pencil, thank god. Some women just use college as an excuse to let themselves go.” Catching the expression crossing Jackie’s face, she adds primly: “I don’t mean you, of course. Wipe off that accusing look, for Christ’s sake. It’s just how your father said, you only ever get prettier. Now that you’ve shed all that baby fat, you’re practically my spitting image.”
Fuck. It’s like winning a game and kissing a girl and painting the Mona Lisa all at once.
Despite every warning she’s told herself, despite all of the kindness and reassurance Shauna has given her, despite the fact that some part of her truly, deeply longs to be stronger, she simply isn’t. She’s weak again. Undeniable euphoria bursts free and spreads through every bit of her, flooding her veins, her brain, her chest.
”Thank you.” She says softly.
Skinnier! Skinnier! Skinner! Her mind erupts in cheers, a victory chant. Skinnier! Skinnier! Skinnier!
She can’t will it away. Worse than that, she doesn’t want to.
Is it really so bad, if she enjoys this feeling, when it’s only for one moment? If she relishes what she’s worked so hard for? She hasn’t heard the roar of a crowd in forever, and now it’s everywhere.
“We’ll also have to get into the other important manner of business.” Her mom goes on, apparently not finished yet. She leans towards Jackie secretively, looking particularly sly. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you haven’t mentioned it. What boys have caught your eye?”
”I’ll be covering my ears.” Her dad announces loudly.
”Oh, don’t be like that. What are you going to do when you have to walk her down the aisle?”
“Mom.” Jackie says, embarrassed.
The topic change fortunately works as a nice distraction, but it’s been about ten minutes of this car ride, and she already feels fifteen all over again, getting interrogated about the lanky, blonde boy stopping by to bring her bad chocolates.
Except this time, it’s pointless. She doesn’t know if she’s even getting married. If she can’t do it with Shauna, then it’s a no.
“You don’t be like that either.” Her mom’s stare abruptly reminds her of looking down a double barrel, startling as Travis swung the gun in Nat’s direction. “I see your face. I know you’re hiding something, so out with it.”
Crap, crap, crap.
Jackie drums her fingers, quick, against the bony ridge of her knee. “I… am seeing someone.”
She can’t tell them the whole truth, but she can tell them part of it, right?
Oblivious to her inner turmoil, they share a glance and a chuckle. “That’s lovely. Who is the lucky fellow?”
Shauna. It’s always been Shauna. She’s my fellow, and I’m the one that’s lucky for getting to love her.
”His name is Jon.” She hears herself muttering, fumbling as her eyes awkwardly find the floor. “Jon Butcher. He’s from England. I only met him a bit ago at this frat party, which is why I haven’t mentioned it. It’s new, but we really hit it off. He’s super smart. The quiet, bookish type. Kind of serious but funny, too. Witty. The total opposite of Jeff.”
”That sounds like a relief, huh?” Her mom quips, and Jackie nods uneasily. “What’s he look like?”
”Really handsome. Dark hair, dark eyes, the cutest smile. He’s… intense in this way that’s magnetic. Like you can’t take your eyes off of him when he’s in the room.” When she’s there with me, there’s nothing else. She becomes everything. “And he’s athletic. He played a little soccer in high school, so we have that in common.”
Jackie stops there, biting her lip and wondering if she’s being too obvious, but her parents seem none the wiser.
”Wow. He really must be something.” Her mom remarks genially. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so enamored.”
”If you’re happy, I’m happy.” Her dad shrugs, flicking on his turn signal. “Just be sure to let him know I have a baseball bat, and I’m still quite the hitter.”
”You don’t have to worry, Dad. He treats me right.” Jackie ensures, doing her best to sound more exasperated than relieved. They totally bought it.
Even more so, they’re happy about it. Would they have ever reacted the same way, if they really knew?
Instead of pondering questions she already knows the answer to, she fixes her gaze outside, watching as Wiskayok whizzes by in all of its glory. The countless, wall-to-wall shops, the sludgy sidewalks, and the school with its empty, cheerless soccer field.
*
The inquisition continues outside of the car, up the driveway, and into their foyer. “A costume party, economic midterm, and a fundraiser? Sounds like a packed week.”
“Yeah, it was really something.” Jackie answers as interestedly as she can, given she’s faking. She’s half-sure the costume party fell during the same weekend she spent with Shauna, which reminds her: “I think I’m going to—“
She freezes as the phone rings, its trilling interrupting.
”—go pick that up right now.” Leaving her parents standing bewildered, she dashes through the doorway, skidding across the kitchen floor and gobbling it up in her hands. ”Hi. Jackie speaking.”
“Thank god.” Shauna’s relieved sigh answers her. “I’ve been calling every couple of hours to check.”
Jackie’s stomach does a small somersault. “Eager, aren’t we?”
“Like I’m the only one.” Shauna mutters before lowering her voice to a more serious, hushed tone, as if someone could be listening. ”I got the — stuff. For us. My mom ran out of cinnamon, so she’s going on a grocery run soon. Are your parents letting you out yet?”
”It’s not like I’m performing a prison break.” Jackie rolls her eyes. “I’ll be over in twenty. Just let me freshen up first.”
Despite what she tells Shauna, leaving the house does turn out to be somewhat difficult since her parents are still planted in the living room, lamenting about how much they missed their baby girl. She endures about a week’s worth of cheek pinches and strangling hugs before finally being able to slip away, complaining she’ll be late to a movie she’s not seeing. Funnily enough, it’s the exact same lie she used to use whenever she and Shauna wanted to sneak out to a party across town. Good old reliable.
Escaping down the sidewalk, her heart dances to the tune of familiar anticipation. They talked about so many toys, who knows what Shauna bought? She took special care in the shower, keeping the idea in mind that things could end up leading anywhere. Wherever Shauna puts her hands, she’ll accept very, very enthusiastically.
Just knowing they’re moving in closer proximity to each other puts some extra pep into her step. Jackie skips up the wobbly, cobblestone path she’s dearly missed and knocks on the Shipman’s front door, smoothing down her shorts while she waits. She almost can’t believe how ordinary the day feels, how simple and right. The breezy temperature, the short, easy walk, and the bees whispering through the air, swarming Deb’s flowerbeds. Everything perfectly as it should be, like some beautiful angel had flown down and preordained this day, scribbling into her destiny: have rampant sex with Shauna.
Jackie has always held a special appreciation for Shauna’s house, ever since Deb remodeled it post-divorce. What used to be a soulless, beige house basically became a little girl’s fairytale, decorated like a cute old cottage. Sloping, stacked stones, cozy, cluttered porch, wide, plentiful garden, and tiny gnomes dotted all around. Deb was meticulous about ensuring it always sported some assortment of yellow and blue. Once, she had even flooded it with poppies for Jackie’s birthday.
As impatient as Jackie is to see Shauna, she also wouldn’t mind a bit of time with her future in-law. In fact, she’s half-expecting Deb to be the one to receive her before she’s greeted by what might be the most adorable sight ever.
An apron-clad Shauna Shipman.
The garment’s green strings are tied snug around her waist, the front of it stained in several places so that Jackie can just barely make out the bolded kiss the cook printed across. Alongside the words is a beaming, cartoon radish, complete with a toothy grin and goatee crafted out of scraggly roots.
“Hey, you’re here.” Shauna initially smiles, but her eyes narrow suspiciously, the longer Jackie stares at her. “What?”
“Is your mom still here?”
”No. Why?”
Grinning, Jackie grabs ahold of two shoulders and backs Shauna up into the house, kicking the door closed behind them so that she can freely spring into her girlfriend’s arms. The enthusiastic hello causes Shauna to stumble into the nearest wall, grunting. She’s clearly taken aback, but her mouth is warm and wanting when Jackie reaches it, pushing pleasantly into the kiss.
As usual, Shauna gives as good as she gets, gripping Jackie’s waist and pulling her in just as strongly, their bodies fitting together. They spend at least a minute getting reacquainted… which may or may not mean groping in the middle of the living room.
(Sorry, Deb.)
Jackie dips her tongue out, licking the sweetness from Shauna’s plump, bottom lip. “What are you in there baking?”
“Who says I’m baking?” Shauna murmurs softly into her mouth.
”The powdered sugar on your nose.” Jackie points out, their chins grazing as she laughs lightly.
Shauna’s hair sits in a ponytail of utter disarray, dark wisps undone around her flushed face, which only flushes deeper upon hearing Jackie. The red stands out nicely against the white flecks dusting onto her cheeks.
”Oh.”
Shauna frowns down at each speck, as if they’re a personal offense.
“Oh.” Jackie echoes, mimicking her. She’s so fucking cute in this moment that Jackie swears she could explode.
”We were making pie.” Shauna clarifies, rubbing fruitlessly at her nose while she speaks. “That blueberry kind you like.“
“Aw. You didn’t have to do that.” Jackie says, though she’s quietly, thoroughly pleased. It’s a sweet gesture, regardless of if Jackie is going to eat it.
“Wasn’t my idea.” Shauna admits distractedly, on the verge of scrubbing her face raw. “Mom cant stop asking about you.”
”Here, let me.” Jackie happily reaches up and brushes her thumb across Shauna’s nose, wiping the mess away. Even once it’s gone, Shauna remains the picture of culinary excellence. “You have to know you’re adorable like this.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Just not so bad?” She prods, pouting. “I’m sure that’s not the best you can do.”
Seeming equally amused, Shauna puts on a faux serious face and fixes her eyes directly on Jackie. ”You look very pretty, as usual. I like your shorts.”
”That’s better.” Jackie pecks her.
Shauna’s hands slip downwards, sliding over the small of Jackie’s back to cup Jackie’s behind, giving it a firm, dirty squeeze. “Did you wear them for me?”
Jackie gasps. That’s much, much better. “Maybe.”
They felt less obvious than some of her skimpier skirts, while still being noticeably small, and she wanted to send a message to Shauna without looking like a whore in front of Deb. Plus they’re cute, and they have little stripes.
”Which means yes.” Shauna grins slyly, repeating the motion, once she sees how much Jackie likes it.
Jackie is about ready to get lost in those hands and that smirk, when she realizes something. “Wait. How does your mom know we’re talking again?”
”Relax.” Two thumbs calmly massage Jackie’s hips, easing away whatever worries must be showing on her face. “I didn’t give her all the details. I knew we’d need some explanation when you came, so I told her I apologized. If she asks, I called you, we talked it out, and we’re friends again.”
”Huh. Not too far from the truth.” Jackie, fiddling with Shauna’s collar. It’s halfway close to real… kind of like what she said to her parents earlier. “I actually told a white lie about you, too.”
”Meaning…”
”Meaning, they know I’m dating someone, but they think you’re a boy.” Jackie admits somewhat guiltily. “I think that they picked up on the fact that I’m happier than I’ve ever been before, and then my mom got this, like, killer knowing look in her eye that sort of freaked me out, and I panicked.”
”So, they think that I’m—“
”Jon Butcher.”
”…like Jon Snow?”
“Exactly. And Butcher because, you know. Besides that, I mostly told them the truth.” Seeing Shauna doesn’t appear to be upset, Jackie leaves a small kiss on the left corner of her mouth. And then on the right, since she can’t pick a favorite. “That you’re gorgeous and crazy smart and I’m head over heels for you. Are you mad?”
Shauna shakes her head. Says, slowly: ”No. I think you need to learn to lie better but no. I know what your parents are like.”
”Hey, some people would say not being a good liar is a pro, not a con.”
Shauna hums faintly in agreement, continuing to gaze at her. “Would it bother you if I told my mom the actual truth?”
Despite the stutter of her chest, Jackie maintains her clueless expression. ”You want to tell your mom that you insulted me into having an orgasm over the phone?”
”No.” Shauna corrects gently, as if she’s already figured out what Jackie’s doing. “I want to tell her that we’re dating. Not soon but… sometime. It just feels silly lying to her, when I know she wouldn’t care. I think she has suspicions about me, anyway. She keeps mentioning Boy George for no reason.”
Sometime. Jackie can’t imagine what would be an acceptable time to inform Deb that they’re gay for each other. It’s not as if a couple months or years suddenly makes the news less shocking.
”Okay.” Jackie finally answers slowly. “Can it be a very distant sometime?”
”Sure.” Shauna touches her nose to Jackie’s, inhaling the responding sigh of relief.
”Good, because I know what I want to do in the meantime.” Jackie leans closer, trying to reconnect them, but Shauna lightly evades her.
“What about what I want?” The dark glint blooming in Shauna’s eyes is startlingly sexy. She has to force herself to swallow her rising arousal, lest she lose whatever’s left of her pride.
”What do you want?”
”Strip.”
Pausing, Jackie looks around the cushy, family living space dubiously.
”Here?”
Shauna just nods, watching her steadily. ”I want to see what color underwear you put on for me.”
Heat thrums beneath Jackie’s cheeks, but she manages to hold her own, tilting her chin up. ”Who says it’s for you? Maybe it’s for Jon.”
Shauna scoffs. Quick as lightning, her hand shoots up, snags the front of Jackie’s shirt and tugs, hard enough that their bodies snap together forcefully.
“Take this off or I’m ripping it in half.”
Struck by a sudden, genius idea, Jackie sidesteps Shauna, running past her as she begins to pull at the hem of her shirt. From there on, it’s a chase. She dashes up the stairs, shedding clothing as she goes, throwing each scrap back for Shauna to catch, off and off and off, until she reaches Shauna’s bedroom. The bed feels soft and comfortable when she hops naked into it, hastily slipping beneath Shauna’s blue-pink patterned sheets. Shauna appears in the doorway before she can even finish covering her breasts, catching her sitting up with the blankets bunched around her waist, rosy torso exposed.
The way she looks at Jackie… oh…
Jackie has to rub her thighs together beneath the sheets for any relief, feeling the tingling puddle Shauna’s gaze is creating.
”Let me see.” Shauna demands, not even stepping into the room yet.
”Come over here, and you will.”
That seems to be the right thing to say because Shauna closes the space between them, stopping in front of the bed. Once she’s there, she wastes no time taking hold of the bedsheet and ripping the last of Jackie’s coverings away, the way she promised that she would.
Shamefully, it’s the comment from earlier that keeps Jackie from wanting to hide.
Prettier. Skinnier. Worthy.
Compliment or no, Jackie still shivers as she watches Shauna’s attention shift greedily downwards, eyeing everything from her bared chest to her dampening cunt liberally, before landing on her flushed face.
”Purple’s cute.” Shauna lifts her hand to reveal Jackie’s bra dangling from her fingers.
”Huh, so that’s where that went…” Jackie remarks cluelessly, purposefully playing dumb. Rolling her eyes, Shauna pointedly tosses it away and moves to join Jackie, climbing onto the bed.
Fully clothed, Shauna settles over her, one knee balancing on either side of Jackie, so that roughened denim tickles her hips. There’s something titillating about being undressed like this, put on display while Shauna remains noticeably concealed.
Shauna clearly enjoys it, too, if her roaming hands are anything to go by. Her fingers map down Jackie’s sides without restraint, brushing the considerable dip of a slight waist, grazing protruding ribs, cupping small breasts. She squeezes them softly, eliciting a moan from Jackie, who’s more than ready to hop to it.
“What toys did you get?”
“Handcuffs, a paddle, a vibrator…” Shauna tweaks her nipples. “But you want to be fucked, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” Jackie pants, nodding. “Yeah, please.”
”Roll over. Hands and knees.”
Thank god. Jackie listens immediately, turning over so she’s facedown, already thinking of what Shauna is going to fit inside her.
What color will it be? How long? How big?
The sound of faint rustling behind her encourages Jackie to lift her hips in anticipation, arching her back and sliding her eyes closed. She’d asked for something thick, but who knows if her definition of that matches Shauna’s. It could be too slim. Or more likely, ginormous. All she knows is she wants is to feel it for a very, very long time. The stretch of Shauna reaching her everywhere, and the satisfying ache tomorrow when she sits at the Thanksgiving table.
She expects Shauna to need a minute to put the toy on, but instead Shauna returns to her surprisingly quick. Re-approaching footsteps reach her ears almost seconds after she hears a drawer close. Her surprise furthers, as the mattress rattles, and she’s met with soft, thin strips of what feels like leather rather than a solid length.
”Shauna, is that the flogger thing?” Flinging her eyes back open, she rapidly peers over her shoulder to confirm that yes, that is definitely a whip. Foreign and intimidating, with a sleek, black handle that flairs at the end, it looks disturbingly right in Shauna’s hands, as perfect as the knife had.
”Yes, Jackie, it’s the flogger thing. Good job piecing that one together.” Gone is the ribbing warmth from minutes ago. Shauna’s voice drips condescension, like she’s congratulating Jackie on correctly identifying the color of the sky.
Jackie’s skin prickles where the leather trails over her spine, touching her behind, which has suddenly never felt more vulnerable.
”But you said—“
”Why does it matter what I said? You’ve proven you won’t listen either way.” Shauna brings the strange, new sensation lower, letting it tickle it over Jackie’s upper thighs. “Girls who can follow instructions get what they want. Girls who can’t, don’t. When I tell you to strip, you strip. You don’t run away from me.”
Ah, that’s why she’s being punished. On some level, she expected this. Wanted it, even.
Or else, why would she have disobeyed?
”Sorry.” It comes out half-hearted, since she’s not sure she means it.
Shauna tsks. ”If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t have done it. Forget running. I should make sure you can’t walk.”
A humiliating thrill runs through Jackie at the prospect. She licks her lips but finds her tongue uselessly thick. ”Shauna, I’m… I...”
“Too little, too late. Keep your ass up and count.”
“Count?” Jackie asks, just as Shauna strikes, the flogger’s tail swiping sharply across one cheek. Pain blooms, more fiery and stinging than any slap she’s ever had before, sending her careening forward into Shauna’s mound of pillows. “Oh! O-One?”
She’s sure Shauna isn’t using anything close to full force, but it’s disorienting anyway. Shocking, anyway. Big surprise, she hasn’t been whipped before. Why the hell does she kind of like it?
While the initial, white hot impact is overwhelming, something oddly pleasurable follows, close to pins and needles but searing. Addictive. Dragging a pillow into her arms, she raises and repositions herself, wordlessly requesting more.
Shauna seems proud of her resilience. “Better.”
The second blow reverberates in her legs, shaking through her frame and collecting as a living pulse between her thighs.
”Two.”
Another.
“Three.”
Harder.
”Four!”
Her skin sings. Her vision swims.
”Five!”
”Have you learned your lesson?”
”Yes! Yes, I’ll listen.” Jackie gasps out, the words scraping raw from her throat, her breathing raspy, labored. Two frail, trembling arms are barely enough to hold her up, with how violently she’s shaking.
”I bet you will.” Shauna flattens her spare palm against the sore, abused curve of Jackie’s ass, not grabbing or smacking, just cementing her message. Ensuring it sticks. “You should see how wet you’ve been getting back here. It’s fucking embarrassing.”
As if to prove her point, Shauna shifts that hand lower, one steadfast finger sneaking down to slide inside Jackie. It meets zero resistance, only the easy glide of a wanting cunt.
Jackie can’t fight clenching and fluttering around the digit, even though it's not enough. Even though her body longs for more. "Shauna, want you—“
”Do you?”
”Yes!”
Seeming to finally grasp her desperation, Shauna pulls out, patting her backside comfortingly. "Stay here."
This time, Jackie makes sure to peer over her shoulder and watch closely, gluing herself to every movement. The untying of the apron, the shrugging off of her flannel, the removing of her pants. Jackie marvels at how quickly the clothes come off, not bothering to hide her leering as Shauna rids herself of each layer, losing her shirt along with her bra. Has anyone ever been more beautiful? More striking? Jackie can't imagine a sight better than Shauna, stark bare, obscured only by the stray, brown hairs dangling into her eyes.
Then, Jackie looks ever so slightly to her right.
Jesus fucking Christ, how could she have missed that? Shauna’s naked body is possibly the only thing in the world that could’ve distracted her from the toy on the dresser. It sits there plainly, its purpose obvious. A waiting, shiny, dark purple promise.
Thick. Large. Just like Jackie begged for.
God, she’s lucky to have a girlfriend who always gives her everything she wants.
Shauna doesn’t remain bare for long, reaching for the harness and lining it up before somewhat skillfully stepping into it, looking to have at least a little familiarity. Practiced hands tow it up her legs, situating it so it sits proud and bobbing, causing Jackie's mouth to run dry. Saliva becomes a mere memory.
”Have you worn it before?” Jackie asks while Shauna is adjusting the straps around her hips.
Shauna glances up slightly incredulously, as if she wasn't expecting Jackie to speak, but doesn't bristle at her question.
“Once or twice.” She gives the length a slow, confident stroke. “I tried it on to see if it’d fit.”
”It looks like it does.”
”You just want me over there faster.”
”Guilty.”
A tiny smile sparks in the corner of Shauna's mouth, likely unbidden. Regardless, she casts Jackie a stern look and does a spinning motion with her finger that indicates Jackie should turn back around.
Happy to comply, Jackie returns her head to the pillows, lowering her face fully into the plush cushioning. She can't see much except for shifting blocks of blackness, but their little moment of reprieve still gives her relief. Shauna isn't truly angry. Isn't going to hurt her. Not in any substantial way.
No, Shauna's just going to fuck her senseless.
Shauna returns to her frenzied, clambering onto the bed with much less grace than before, grasping her roughly from behind, yanking so they’re skin to skin. Wanting to show off, Jackie presses urgently back into the groping hands drifting up her thighs, only hissing for a moment when she feels faint pressure against her rear. The wound is so recent and so sensitive, the wind could probably make her cry.
“Please. Please. Please. Fuck, I need it, now—”
Turn’s out, Shauna’s a good listener, too, aligning herself so the tip skates purposefully against Jackie’s entrance, gliding up, then down, giving a torturous taste of it. Jesus, she feels big.
Shauna continues slipping and sliding through the building pool of slick, dragging the toy’s blunt head where Jackie is dripping. “Desperate little bitch, aren’t you?”
“For you, yes, I’m — oh!” Jackie grinds purposefully against it, working in wanton circles, needing the friction. “I want you everywhere I can have you.”
Her cunt is already puffy when Shauna slips into it.
Already wet, already wanting, already pleading for each and every hard, unyielding inch. So, she can’t be blamed for the orgasm that crashes down on her immediately, hitting her like another slap, bright and bursting. All her muscles buckle, her stomach sliding along the sheets as her quivering limbs give out.
Shauna laughs breathily, meanly. “Wow, Jax. At least let me get halfway in.”
Jackie just whimpers, feeling the thick girth continue to split her, her inner walls still twitching from orgasm.
The rest of Shauna’s thrust is slow, controlled. She takes her time sinking into Jackie, one warm hand petting up Jackie’s spine, gripping her hair firmly to keep her in place. Not that running away is much of a concern now. Jackie doubts she’d be able to make it a singular step with Shauna’s fingers forming such a tight hold, plus the shaft that seems like it’s, fuck, breaking her in half.
Shauna quickly gets a feel for fucking her, gradually moving surer and surer, creating a fervent, relentless rhythm, while Jackie writhes, coming apart under the increasingly strong thrusts. She can’t bring herself to be quiet, to not twist and squirm and cry out with each one. Her cunt is squeezing hard, ass throbbing against Shauna’s rutting hips.
It’s overwhelming, heady, on the right side of too much. Shauna panting hot and heavy in her ear, Shauna sealing to the back of her, Shauna moving like she wants to push the bones out of Jackie’s body. Shauna, Shauna, Shauna. All of it so good.
”I’m gonna come again. I’m gonna come again. I’m gonna—“
”Do it already, then.” Shauna yanks hard on her hair, pulling her back into brutally snapping hips. “You’re such a whiny slut.”
“Fuck!”
This time, Jackie’s eyes nearly roll back into her head. Pleasure becomes all she can comprehend. Just the motion of their bodies, the loud, near-musical slapping sound of them. The way they grind together perfectly. Wetness dribbles considerably down her thighs, sliding towards her knees.
How many times can they do this in only half a week? Ten? A hundred? Her head freaking hurts and her ass freaking hurts but still she wants more—
Shauna freezes.
More, more, more. Confused, Jackie whines pitifully, senselessly grinding backwards.
“Shush.” Shauna’s hand slips abruptly from her hair to slap over her mouth. “I think my mom just got here.”
”Oh, shit.” Jackie says, muffled.
They wait for a few moments, stiff and silent. When she listens closely, she realizes that Shauna is right. There is a faint commotion going on downstairs, faraway footsteps creaking across floorboards.
Finally, Shauna whispers: ”It’s okay. I locked the door when I got up to get the flogger. Just… be quiet. Do you think you can do that?”
Jackie normally would object to having sex anywhere near Deb, but they’re already very, very much in the middle of it. Even though it would be smart to wrap things up, her body argues, clenching stubbornly, as if in protest.
She nods.
Shauna starts moving again. Slower than before, obviously trying not to audibly rock the bed. She releases Jackie’s mouth to let Jackie bite down on the nearest pillow instead, her free hand snaking low to find Jackie’s slippery clit within the damp, sweaty mess of sheets. Overcome, Jackie closes her eyes and tremors.
It’s different, doing this without the usual haste, but still better than anything Jackie’s ever experienced in her life, Shauna’s thrusts just as deep, penetrating, and dirty.
”I can’t believe you’re going along with this.” Shauna tells her quietly, close enough that Jackie can feel the breath of her low, enraptured words and the glide of her sweat-slicked forehead. Her fingers pick up the slack, rubbing frenzied circles as she steadily fills Jackie. “You’ll do anything to be fucked.”
Deb pacing around downstairs should be a deterrent, not the thing that sends Jackie over the proverbial finish line.
But well…
Jackie chews on cotton to smother her unavoidable sobs. Silent, mascara-ruining tears slip down her cheeks. Holy fucking god. Again.
“Shh, shh, shh… keep biting on it, just like that… good girl…” Massaging her back soothingly, Shauna scatters kisses over Jackie’s shoulder blades as she winds down, placing one against her nape, before gently and carefully pulling out. “I don’t think she realized.”
Thankfully, sometime is not now.
She needs to be clean, presentable, and preferably clothed, if she’s going to cross paths with Deb. Which should likely happen soon.
”We should probably go say hi…” Jackie makes a shaky attempt to sit up.
”In a minute. I bought aloe vera for you.”
Sinking flat onto the bed once again, Jackie tiredly sighs, smiles. “Kay.”