Chapter Text
A.N.: -Song-
Wen's Internal Thoughts
Wen's narration
"Conversation between characters"
A ncora
Anchors can either be temporary or permanent. Permanent anchors are used in the creation of a mooring, and are rarely moved; a specialist service is normally needed to move or maintain them. Vessels carry one or more temporary anchors. The word anchor derives from Latin ancora.
Chapter 1: You said, "Distance brings fondness", but guess not with us
A.N. This is referenced to Ep. 5 (1/4) of Moonlight Chicken.
POV Wen
-We drive through the woods, rich neighborhoods to watch
We joked as we looked that they were too good for us
'Cause socially speaking, we were the same
With runaway fathers and mothers who drank
A tale old as time, young love don't last for life -
He was my anchor, that is how I saw my relationship with Alan. I am like a ship, and a ship always needs an anchor to stay – be stable.
I mean there should be reason why I can’t leave Alan right? And this sounds just right…because he is my anchor and I am held down by that anchor.
I took a deep sigh as I moved to get some water. I drank water and just moved hands through my face thinking of how stressful all this thinking about my and Alan’s relationship is and I as I was doing so, there he stood.
Alan.
His eyes spoke. They used to lit up like sun shone through them, the excitement – it was infectious.
But today, to be honest, I feel numb – which is alright, right? I don’t feel any feeling towards Alan right now. And it shouldn’t be hard to express because there’s nothing, right?
But oh these thoughts – Think, Think, and I Think! It is all just so frustrating.
“…Wen!”
I hear Alan say.
“Huh, yes?” I replied in a frustrating voice.
I winced at my tone which conveyed my emotions stronger than I felt, but honestly, the thoughts I was having weren’t helping. I feel stuck with Alan…
… as if I am held back in midst of the ocean with a cloudy sky and signs of storm – no north star and no crew. Just me being held back with nowhere to go because of the anchor – I couldn’t free myself from the anchor.
I was just thinking when I saw Alan walk away in bedroom leaving me to stand where I was. I couldn’t move but I heard the rustle, saw him place his change of clothes on bed, I heard as he removed the belt, his watch and I heard my rapidly beating heart.
What happened to us? How did we go to this? How did I get to this?
-We've travelled the seas, we've ridden the stars
We've seen everything from Saturn to Mars
As much as it seems like you own my heart
It's astronomy, we're two worlds apart-
I clipped back our 1-year anniversary photo. It killed me how clearly I remembered the domesticity of our very first anniversary, it was full of comfort and promises of staying together for a long time…
*sighs*
… now that I think of it, 7 years is indeed a long time together.
-From far away, I wish I'd stayed with you
But here, face to face, a stranger that I once knew
I thought, if I wandered, I'd fall back in love
You said, "Distance brings fondness", but guess not with us-
I saw Alan walk out of bedroom – Our shared bedroom I thought sardonically.
“Wen” Alan called me out.
“Seriously, can you tell me what did I do wrong?”
“I am done talking about it Alan” I reply, my voice visibly tired and I turn away.
I can’t do this -, I don’t want to do this-, I don’t want to face Alan - not unless he wants to talk as just friends.
Alan raised his voice by a bit and asked in a very determined tone
“Then tell me how do you want it to be…I’ll do better.”
I’ll do better he says, I am hurt right now – tired even and no I don’t know if this can get any better.
-Stop trying to keep us alive
You're pointing at stars in the sky that already died
Stop trying to keep us alive
You can't force the stars to align when they've already died
Oh, we've died, ooh-oh-oh-
“You are tired, and so am I.” I said. The conversation in between was repetitive and hazy now.
Alan looked down, then looked at me and apologized.
“I am sorry.”
He is tired too, and yet there is sincerity in his voice.
“I am sorry too” I say.
He pulls me in a hug and I give in. I give in.
And this is what I meant – when I say I need an anchor.
-we're two worlds apart-