Chapter Text
Clover’s body hurt, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to hear, it hurt to see, it just hurt all over.
It’s been a while since they’ve felt this horrible, but it’ll all be over soon.
This is for the greater good after all, they themselves don’t matter much on their own if the entire underground can be freed later on, this isn’t the time to be selfish.
If there’s one thing Clover would have to regret.. it’d have to have been how non verbal they were to everyone.
Of course they still talked but… they still should’ve talked more often or at least tried.
Either that or their failure to bring justice to the other human children.
That stung Clover personally, failure… they failed once again.
Clover barely felt a small grimace form on their face, they would’ve missed it if they weren’t trying to focus on anything except the spreading pain and the growing emptiness rooted deep in their body.
They failed their sibling, the other children, their biological parents and even Flowey.
Maybe they weren’t that good at all of this justice stuff after all, but they don’t regret doing this and even in a million years time they wouldn’t regret it.
Clover's mind went blank, as they lost all senses they were used to having.
They can only feel their soul.. their soul? Ah they must’ve died and stayed conscious inside of their soul, that’s alright they can wait.
Even in this silent abyss, they have no other choice than to wait, who knows what’ll happen if they let themselves stop thinking.
Will they go insane, or will they die for real? As long as they don’t fall into complete oblivion.. they can deal with it.
Wait the monsters have suffered much more than Clover, so why were they complaining about an empty abyss of all things?
They shove that train of thoughts aside, they’d prefer not to self sabotage their own sanity.
Clover enjoys the silence for a second, it’s been a while since things have been this peaceful.
They think back on the small adventures they’ve had before finally coming to this point to try and keep their brain at least a little active, can they actually call it their brain at this point? Maybe not, but that’d be too complicated to think about at the moment.
——————————————————————
Clover walked through the snow that came up to their knees, they didn’t particularly like visiting Snowdin often because of the cold, but Dalv recently moved in officially so they figured they’d pay him a visit.
They’d begged Starlo to get a basket of corn for him because his parents were busy elsewhere and they didn’t know how to harvest corn without damaging it.
The small basket in Clover’s hand already started to feel cold to the touch, good for preservation?
Clover made their way through the large quantity of snow, has there been a snow storm recently?
They should ask the mail whale for general news more often.
They made their way past the puzzles they had previously completed, thank god that haven’t been reset yet or that’d be a whole other can of worms- and found Dalv’s small cabin, knocking on the door with the weird iron ring.
These kinds of doorbell’s they’d only have seen at old people's houses, was Dalv an old person like the grandma that lived next door to them on the surface?
THUMP THUMP THUMP.
What a loud sound, though that makes it quite effective doesn’t it? If you really think about it, wouldn't it be dangerous if you tried to knock with someone’s hand blocking the path?
Shuffling came from behind the door before it gently opened up, that didn’t take long at all.
“Hello? Can I help you?”
Dalv asked before realising it was Clover who held up the all mighty corn basket with a smile.
“Oh! You’ve come to visit, please come inside, it must be cold out there.”
Dalv let’s Clover in who quickly takes off their boots so they don't drag any unnecessary snow over the floor, just because someone lets you in doesn’t mean you treat it like your own house.
Clover was sat down at a table and Dalv thanked them for the basket.
It seems his food problems aren’t completely resolved yet, maybe they should bring different foods around some time, if they remember correctly Dalv has only eaten corn for a long amount of time.
Not that Clover has such a large palate of food they’ve eaten but at least it’s not just a single type of food.
Dalv walks over to his drawing area and lays down a few different drawings they haven’t seen before.
“As I’ve stated before I’ve been practising with penilla, but I haven’t been able to show you the actual drawings before.”
Dalv looked really proud with a small smile.
“I also have been playing the organ more often if you’d like to hear.”
Clover nodded excitedly, they really liked the drawings, but the words caught in Clovers throat like they usually did.
“…the drawings are.. pretty”
Dalv beamed as he led the way to the organ, Clover liked listening to it, but Dalv seemed nervous so Clover took out their harmonica to play along! It worked swimmingly and they had fun playing the simple tunes that’d come up in their heads.
Dalv later asked them to promise to come to any performances he’d hold in the future.
Clover nodded and promised.
In the end they never could fulfil that promise.
——————————————————————
Clover floated around in the dark abyss, did they actually truly move? They couldn’t exactly tell.
A little entertainment would’ve been nice, or even just some background noise would suffice.
They softly vibrated the song he and Dlav played that day, it filled them with memories.
——————————————————————
Clover sat at the saloon bar drinking root beer, they hadn’t arrived back from the steamworks that long ago but traversing the hot environment had made them thirsty.
After Ed brought them back to the village they had thought about investigating Ceroba’s old house, but… It’s better to wait till they return as they can’t exactly go alone, considering their reaction to what they saw there it might not be entirely safe to go alone.
They hadn’t talked since this morning when they had.. attacked Clover.
Even when Clover returned with the help of Ed, Ed simply sped away out of sight.
Clover could tell they regretted what they had done and thought about confronting them, but knowing themself unless another fight starts and the situation calls for it, they won’t be saying more than a few words.
Clover almost jumped when someone sat down next to them with a loud creak, Ed?
On his other side Moray sat down, Ace standing shakily behind them like usual and Mooch- actually Clover can’t see Mooch but she’s probably.. doing something that is less than legal.
Clover didn’t feel threatened at all, they seemed almost melancholy-ish when looked at.
They kind of already knew what this was about with the faces they were making.
Awkward silence fell over the group as Clover took a sip from their drink.
It tasted sparkly- was that the right word? Clover doesn’t know if humans and monsters describe some feelings differently.
Moray sighed, being the first to talk.
“Look Clover— we’d like to apologise for our actions this morning.”
Ace continued.
“I’m not usually the person that apologises often, but i admit we were completely in the wrong for attacking you.”
Ed inhaled sharply.
“North Star got caught up in the sheriff fantasy and you got dragged into this mess because of it, we- I should’ve been more considerate for what you might’ve been feeling, or I at least could’ve asked when picking you up so rudely.”
Mooch appeared next to Clover, slowly pushing a golden coin that looked like it came straight out of an old game with a certain red plumber as the main character.
Clover stopped Mooch by placing their hand on the coin and slowly pushing it back, they tipped their hat downwards.
Clover could feel the tension in the air, along with the uncertainty.
They swallowed to attempt to open their throat up a bit, just so they could talk a bit easier.
Alright then, how does one comfort an adult?
Clover really only knows how to comfort kids not full-grown adults, do they just need words of reassurance or physical contact?
That usually works with kids, but these ARE adults right?
Well they have the mentality of children so perhaps it wouldn’t matter too much.
Clover rested their hand on Mooch’s head since it seemed to be some sort of comforting, they’ve seen Ed do it before.
“.. it’s alright, i.. forgive you.”
Clover had to restrain themselves from cringing, they are going to really work on communication sooner or later.
Clover could see the moment when the four’s expressions turned to relief, relaxation or excitement.
“Really?! Really?!”
Mooch beamed.
“That’s such a relief.”
Moray exhaled carefully as they took a sip out of a bottle of water, something in Clover tells them it doesn’t taste like the water in the steamworks.
Clover saw Ace only give a small nod, did he really think he was better than them?…
He was probably right, who was Clover to argue with a brooding, emo fashionista.
Lastly Ed looked like he was almost crying tears of relief, gentle giant.
The five of them spent the night talking about cowboys and Clover learned a few interesting facts about Starlo, they never would’ve guessed he was a cat person.
After a frustrating day they needed a bit of time to unwind and they ended up falling asleep together at the feisty five HQ, Clover couldn’t help worrying about Starlo, Ceroba and Martlet, but they were strong and…. Somewhat reliable people deserving of a little trust.
How nice it was to enjoy such simple activities, it’s too late to go back now.
——————————————————————
Clover could vividly remember Dina’s fond looks directed at the five, they are pretty sure they also got a few free drinks from her.
If they ever find a way to return, they’ll have to pay Dina back for that.
——————————————————————
Clover sighed as the gates of the town were still locked shut, it was worth a shot after two days of being stuck here.
Why does every mission have to include a day in between? It’s a little dramatic, not that they don’t have a hand in dramatics as well.
When they were on Ava with Martlet they remember purposefully rubbing the places she’d had hit, or walking slower and a bit more limp when they reünited after the boat crash.
Clover didn’t want to be cruel, but if they weren’t allowed to be sassy, they’d find a way.
Today Clover and the feisty five made handmade badges, Clover made one in the shape of a Clover, but they’ve never really been good at sculpting.
They look at the town bell and headed towards the save point.
They sat down tapping it until Flowey popped out.
“Howdy! Isn’t this technically child abduction, keeping you here and all that?”
Clover scoffed and rolled their eyes.
“Don’t give me that, I didn’t see you consenting to be trapped here! Are ya scared someone will come for you in your sleep? I’ll save for you buddy, don't worry.”
Clover shook their head and revealed the probably fake golden badge they’d made earlier.
They exhaled softly to try and lessen the bundle of nerves clogging their vocal cords.
What if he doesn’t like it? Knowing Flowey he’s going to be awfully blunt and my skills aren’t the best, but sucking up my pride and not giving it to him is a fate worse than death.
“It’s.. for you..”
Flowey looked shocked for a split second before going back to the annoying toothy grin he always wore.
“Wow it… absolutely sucks!”
He said in his usual chipper tone.
“Seriously I don’t have hands and even my craftsmen ship is better than whatever that is supposed to be!”
Clover glares and is about to take the badge back, before being surprised that Flowey snatched it.
“Hey there, just because it’s ugly doesn’t mean I don’t want it, go to bed it’s getting late.”
Clover stands up to return to the feisty five headquarters, they could’ve sworn they heard Flowey thank them underneath his breath.
Maybe they should’ve gotten something nicer to thank him, he’s done so much but… nothing came from it.
——————————————————————
Clover wondered why Flowey never showed himself to other monsters, was it because he was shy? No that didn’t fit his personality, maybe they’ll find out another day.
——————————————————————
Clover had just eaten dinner with the feisty five as they snuck out of bed, they headed to the saloon and tried to give Dina G for some more.
Dina refused because the kid was growing and naturally needed more food to stay functional, that night Clover left the saloon with a small container of tasty western dinner.
Clover wasn’t intending on eating it though, they quietly snuck into the prison talking the door to wake up Martlet.
Martlet woke up beaming and didn’t spare a second to rush to the cell bars, it always surprised Clover at how fast this bird could get when she was excited.
Guess adrenaline can do wonders for a body’s functions no matter what species they belong to.
“Clover! Thank the kind you didn’t get hurt, did they feed you correctly? Do you have a place to sleep?”
Martlet worried, slowly her eyes landed on Clovers new wild revolver.
“Why did they give a kid a real gun! That had to be a safety hazard, gosh everything here is horrible.
No privacy, bad food, bad bed and even though this is a dessert with it being hot moments ago it’s somehow ice cold! Not that I’m not used to it of course but still.”
Clover stayed silent, like they usually did much to their displeasure.
Some intrusive thoughts wanted to break Martlet out right here right now and make a run for it, but that’d be horribly rude and straight up unfair to the group.
Clover sat down, Martlet carefully watching their movements as she saw Clover reach into their bag.
Clover took out a spare blanket, the food they’d retrieved earlier and a spare pillow.
Martlet's expression brightened again, Clover was absolutely terrified of how fast this bird's mood could change.
“You brought that for me? Gee you're a lifesaver Clover! Did you make any progress or-?”
Clover lowered their head. “.. ‘sorry”
Martlet’s expression turned sad, she gently bumped them with her wing.
“Hey it’s alright look at these items you’ve managed to bring here, you’re already doing more than enough.”
Clover couldn’t help smiling, for a moment letting themself lean into Martlet’s touch before quickly pulling back.
Martlet didn’t mind, she only gave a sheepish smile.
“Hey how about this, when we get out of here i’ll show you how it feels like to fly in the air okay? Now how about you go back to bed Clover?
A growing kid needs their sleep to become big and strong.”
Clover stood up nodding, they managed to force another word out of themselves.
“..goodnight”
Clover saw the smile on Martlet’s beak turn warmer as they left, maybe they should bring a souvenir from the next trial.
Clover managed to sneak dinners into Martlet’s cell every night they had to stay there, they even brought her a small little cowboy path they managed to obtain through trial and error.
Martlet really appreciated the effort and assured them everything would work out and they’d go flying when everything was over.
They never ended up flying together, maybe that’s for the better.
——————————————————————
Clover tried to wiggle around in the void to no avail, if this floating was what flying felt like they didn’t like it.
Of course they knew aeroplanes existed, but they never went on one.
They don’t really mind though, they aren’t sure yet if they are afraid of heights or not!
Now thinking about it, what was Martlet to them? They always felt more like an older sibling than a friend to be honest, guess it takes one to know one.
——————————————————————
Clover fiddled with their fingers as they had finished the first task but wasn’t allowed to continue yet, they didn’t exactly feel comfortable just sitting by the feisty five in the bar yet.
They’ve now made the decision to play in the sand like an idiot until they come up with a plan, I know amazing thought process but give them a break.
Their past week has been full of stress and camping outside where any random monster can decide to ambush them, it was not doing wonders for their stress levels.
“Hey pardner’ ya doing okay there’?”
Clover could recognize that HORRIBLE accent from miles away, they jumped up spinning around and hovered their hand threateningly over their new revolver.
Wow, dying to el bailador 38 times was actually worth it, but they don’t exactly know how to feel about the totally real gun in their hollister.
North Star threw his hands up as a sign of peace, a kind toothy smile placed on his face.
“Hey now! No need to get violent. I was just getting a lil’ concerned for ya, ya’ know?”
Clover slowly let their guard down standing up straight, their usual poker face plastered on.
“The dunes can be a bit dangerous so ya’ must be on edge, but let me tell ya here pardner!”
Respectfully, stop calling clover pardner they are pretty sure it’s spelled partner.
Did you perhaps skip a few grades in school? You can’t spell duel right either.
“Everyone here is a genuinely kind person, I can vouch for ‘em all. How about you come in and play a game of good ‘ol cards with us ey?”
Clover had nothing better to do so they nodded, they proceeded to win 4-10 rounds only being beaten by Ace, such a shame.
North Star promised them a prize, they got a nice cream coupon.
What a pleasant surprise, ice cream is always a good sign!
Clover never got to use that coupon though, it’s probably rotting along with their corpse at this point.
——————————————————————
How long have they been here? It feels like it’s been ages, just pure nothingness.
Hope slowly started to drain from Clovers soul, was there really no escape? Was this the end? Were they being too hopeful on being able to make a comeback?
——————————————————————
Ceroba sat in front of a grave, a soft breeze blew red petals off of the nearby tree.
She read the letters on the grave as she has done almost a million times before, it never hurt any less.
‘CLOVER’
‘20XX’
‘BETWEEN THE AGE OF TEN AND THIRTEEN’
‘A lucky clover to everyone around them, except for themselves.’
Ceroba lowered her head, slowly she’d moved on.
Yet the sweet memories with the kid will never go away no matter how much she’d try, it was like having Kanako back, but it wasn’t at the same time.
Different yet similar, both too stubborn for their own good and… Ceroba didn’t have the heart to stop either of them from destroying themselves.
“Clover…. Sacrifice was a far too cruel a fate for you.”
She knew how tough they always acted, yet she could see the liveliness in their eyes.
She should’ve tried to talk to them more, no one even bothered to ask them their age or birthday.
Even their last name had been a mystery, but they managed to leave such a huge impact on their friends.
Martlet joined Ceroba, leaving a golden coloured flower by the grave.
“Here as well for the four year anniversary?”
Ceroba nodded softly, slightly lowering her own head.
“I sometimes still wonder how things turned out if they were still around, how things would’ve turned out y’know?”
Martlet nodded, Ceroba doesn’t know what she’s been up to, she’s actually barely seen Martlet for the last few years.
Except for the frequent letters of course, despite the distance between the two they decided on becoming pen pals.
Then came Starlo and the posse, all out of their usual cowboy get up.
Then Dalv and Penilla decided to pay a visit, el bailador, Dina, a few micro froggits and Ceroba could’ve sworn she saw a golden flower appear for a split second.
At the end of the day Ceroba left behind a lucky clover and a prayer.
“Please… if there really is a god up there let me ask again, let Clover come back to us.. Knowing that kid, they might just find a way.”
She left the grave, the fake light used to illuminate the underground gently covering the grave with a yellow light.
Truly, what justice is there if a kid has to sacrifice their life because there’s no other way…
Ceroba’s prayers wouldn’t be left unheard, as another human makes their way through the underground.
A certain flower got increasingly agitated, is hurting someone really that hard? Just like-! Nevermind..