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The party started out innocent enough.
The squad had all gathered on Sandy’s boat for a nice get-together. Just throw back and relax with some good food and happy company. Just take another breather after all the recent craziness.
And Sun Wukong wasn’t gonna turn down hanging out with his favorite son successor.
His favorite little buddy ever.
“Monkey King! You made it!!” MK beamed at him, clinging to him in a hug like the baby monkey he really was to his mentor.
Come to think of it, MK had become a lot huggier with him after the events with Azure. Not that he was complaining, it was just something he noticed.
Wukong returned the embrace happily, tail giving a happy swish from the affection from his cub student.
“Hope you haven’t been having too much fun without me.” he teased.
“Nah, you haven’t missed much! Come on in! Everyone else is here and Pigsy’s got the food table all set up now!”
“Oh good! Now the party can really start!”
“Another rematch! I refuse to accept that mere peasant can best me at this lowly peasant game!” Red Son demanded from his spot on Sandy’s couch.
“Sucks to suck, booooooi! Best 7 outta 10?” Mei teased him, sticking out her tongue.
Wukong chuckled at the sight as MK pulled him along by the arm — good strong grip, he’s so proud — and guided him straight to the buffet setup. Exactly where he wanted to be.
He knows me so well! You’re the best, kiddo!
“Don’t you dare, Tang! Wait until everyone else has gotten a serving first before you go for seconds!” Pigsy smacked the would-be thief’s wrist with his wooden spoon.
“But Pigsyyyyyy!! I’m famished! Would you really let your poor Tangy starve?” the bespectacled man pleaded.
“You ain’t starvin’! You’re just tryin’ to hoard it all for yourself!”
Wukong huffed a laugh as he served himself a plate. “Like an old married couple, those two.”
In its own way, it was kinda nostalgic watching the pair. The way he and–
Aaaaaaaand immediately shutting down THAT train of thought.
So he turned his attention to his plate and chowed down. Savoring the food on his tongue as MK regaled him with stories of his latest city exploits. Both demon fighting and the more mundane, like video game high scores.
Absently, Wukong’s hand fidgeted towards his side. Pawing for the small gourd he decided to bring along today. No offense to Pigsy or Sandy — okay, maybe some — but their dorky mortal drinks just didn’t do anything for an amazing super immortal like himself. How could they? And the Great Sage really needed something to take the edge off from everything of late.
Which he was just about to enjoy before a passing chill at his feet, reminiscent of whenever Mac–
Oh great. He’s here too.
“You weren’t using that, were you?” a certain smarmy voice spoke up from behind him.
“HEY!” he snapped, swiping at the other who’d just stolen his drink. “Give that back!!”
Macaque slunk into the shadows. “Hmmm. I don’t think I will.”
“I mean it! Hand it over or I’ll make you!”
“Consider this payback for stealing kiddo’s noodles that he was gonna give to me.” Macaque smirked as he reappeared from MK’s shadow before chugging the gourd.
Only for his eyes to go wide and choke as the liquid no doubt burned his throat.
“What the–” he sputtered. “Is this–?”
“Yeah! That’s what you get!” the Monkey King spat as he reclaimed the gourd. From the feel of it, there was still some left, though not a lot. He was certainly gonna need every drop to get through tonight now. “Enjoy being shitfaced, you jackass!”
Right on cue, his gold eyes were glazing over as pink bloomed in his cheeks. Already swaying slightly on his feet. “How’id youuuu e’vn…?”
“None’ya business! Consider this karma for stealing!”
“Monkey King? What exactly was in that gourd?” MK asked, nervousness creeping in his voice.
Pigsy somehow plucked the gourd from his hand and gave it a sniff. “Definitely alcohol. Smells like wine.”
“Ajskdjdjndndndnd is that what I think it is?! Is that actual real Heavenly Wine!??” Tang gasped.
Wukong snatched it back. “Quit it! Get your own if you want some so bad! And you!”
Macaque looked around before pointing to himself, confused. As if he didn’t know who he meant!
“You owe me for this!! You know how hard this stuff is to come by? I know where you live, so don’t think you can weasel yourself outta this!”
“I… Wha?”
Wukong rolled his eyes, waving a hand in front of the shadow monkey’s face. “Always were such a lightweight. Hellooooo? Earth to jerkface? Are you hearing anything I’m telling you right now?”
“You’r mad…at me.”
“No shit. Now either fix it, or go away.” the Monkey King huffed, waving his hands. “Yeah! Shoo! Get!”
Much to his surprise, Macaque did exactly that. Frowning, but turning tail and walking — er, rather swaying — on his merry way without further fuss.
Huh. He was expecting way more resistance than that. Macaque really was drunk.
“Who invited him anyway?” he scoffed.
“Uh, Monkey King? Should we be concerned?” MK asked, eyes darting from his (favorite) mentor to the drunk monkey currently stumbling across the room like an idiot.
Wukong crossed his arms. “Macaque’s a grown monkey. If he wants to make a drunken fool of himself, that’s his choice. He chose to steal from me and chug it not knowing what it was, he can suffer the consequences of his own actions!”
MK fiddled with his hands as he watched him down the last of the wine. “Uhhhhh, should you really be drinking that fast? Considering…”
“Kiddo, please! Unlike jelly legs over there, I can actually hold my alcohol.”
“What about that time you crashed the Immortal Peach Festival?” MK deadpanned.
“That was when I consumed literally ALL of the Heavenly Wine there. Of course I got drunk drinking an entire festival’s worth of alcohol! But, it made me quadruply immortal and gave me an even more impressive tolerance for the stuff, so… Point is, four sips’ worth of the wine isn’t gonna do much of anything. And we can blame shadow jerkface for that, AND laugh at his stupid drunk ass!”
MK looked about the room. “Where’d he go, anyway?”
“Who cares. Go back to telling your story about that rat demon you fought the other day!” Wukong dismissed, magicking another drink for himself. It wasn’t Heavenly Wine, but it was something.
What? He could enjoy listening to kiddo and watching drunken shenanigans at the same time! He’s the Master of Focus!
“I guess… So, where was I? So we’d just narrowly avoided falling into the sewer when– is that a piano? Someone’s playing the piano. Sandy’s got a piano?”
Looks like we’ll have to revisit focus lessons again, bud.
Still, the sound of piano keys playing didn’t escape Sun Wukong’s notice either. Following a quick search around the room, a large grand piano stood sequestered in one of the corners.
“Actually, I don’t. Not at the moment, anyway.” Sandy answered. Where’d he come from? “Mr. MaQuack is the one who pulled it out of a shadow portal. Cool trick, right?”
True enough, there Macaque was, nimble fingers trailing across the keys. “This one… goes to my one and only true love… Sun Wukong…”
Wukong spat out his drink.
WHAT!?
“Uhhhh, what’s happening?”
“I didn’t know he could play the piano.” Tang whispered, jotting down notes.
“Everyone shut up! I need this to be pristine!” Mei hissed at them, pressing the record button on her phone.
“Peach… You’re so cool… ” Macaque sang. “And with our staffs, we’re gonna rule…”
Tang had absolutely no right to be giving him that look. “Uh, ‘Peach’?”
Wukong felt a wave of heat rush to his face. “Oh, like you have room to talk, ‘Tangy’!”
The scholar’s face became a ripe tomato as he attempted to sputter something in reply.
“At least it’s not ‘Peach’.” Pigsy scoffed.
Wukong resisted the urge to bare his fangs. “Wanna run that by me again, piglet?”
“Zip it!” Mei hushed them.
“Peach… Understand… I’m gonna LOVE YOU ‘TIL THE VERY END~~!” Macaque belted out at the top of his drunken lungs. “Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches–”
Oh lovely. The chorus is just him singing his old nickname in front of everyone. Fan-fucking-tastic.
“Real creative song lyrics.” Mei remarked under her breath.
“I. LOOOOOVE. YOOOOOOU. OHHHHHHH! Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches! I. LOOOOOOOOOVE. YOOOOOOOU! OHHHHHHH~!”
Wukong could only gape slackjawed.
What WAS this? What was happening?
Make no mistake, he’s seen Macaque drunk before and do plenty of ridiculous things whilst under the influence. There were soooooo many funny stories of his escapades in inebriation. Drunken shadow portal shenanigans, shadow pranks, clinginess, funny confessions, even a few sloppy–
Okay, so this wasn’t THE most outlandish thing he’d ever done while drunk, but this was still weird! Especially considering the way things were between them.
Why the bizarre, out-of-nowhere, totally fake love profession? Cause there was no way this was legit.
None!
Why was he singing, for that matter?
…and why was he so good at it? Was his voice always that good?
That wasn’t allowed!
“The Brotherhood, the Pilgrims, and Jade Emperor too… Buddha and Heaven’s armies couldn’t keep me from yooooou…” Macaque slurred, still with all the passion he could muster. “Sun Wukong… At the end of the line… I’LL! MAKE! YOU! MIIIIIIIIIINE~~!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!”
Wukong pinched the bridge of his nose while shutting out the muffled giggles from those around him. Sighing as the fire in his cheeks wouldn’t disappear from sheer willpower alone.
You’re SO gonna pay for this, asshole.
“Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches! I. LOOOOOOOOOVE. YOOOOOOOU! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!” Macaque trilled loudly, crescendoing with each word. “PEAAAAACHES! PEAAAAACHEEEEEES!! PEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAACH! PEAAAAAAACHHHHH!!”
With one final slam on the keys, Macaque slumped over. Face smushed in the ivories, and shoulders shaking– oh gods.
Tell me he’s not crying right now. PLEASE.
As if this needed to get any more awkward than it already was.
“So, Monkey King?” Mei broke the silence. “Something you wanna tell us?”
“What’s there to talk about?” he tried to dismiss. None of this was their business!
“What’s there to talk– Macaque just sang a love ballad for you! ” MK shrieked. “He likes you?! Do you like him!? The two of you– together-together??”
Wukong waved his hands, shaking his head. “Nooooooooo! No, no, no! We are not–”
“But were you? Once?”
Not the puppy eyes. Anything but the puppy eyes!
Don’t do this to me, cub. Don’t make me think about the past and what can never be right now. I am waaaaay too sober for this!
“Dude, we’ve watched their whole bitter exes routine go on for the better part of a year now.” Mei groaned. “Macaque wasn’t even being subtle with his shadow play! ‘The Hero and the Warrior were like the Sun and the Moon’? Like, COME ON!!”
“Honestly, Noodle Boy! How could you not figure it out? They couldn’t be more obvious!” Red Son decided to chime in.
“Hey!” Both Wukong and MK shouted at them.
“Well, it’s true!”
“Monkey King and Mackie, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S–” Mei quickly found her taunting cut off by Wukong shoving a handful of peach chips in her mouth. “Hey! Wherd u git thos?!”
“I’m magic, that’s how!” he snarked.
“Back to you and Macaque!” his cub successor interjected. “I thought you guys were getting along now?”
Wukong averted his gaze.
He was hard pressed to say they were on better terms after only one okayish outing at the beach. Macaque was still an annoying jerkhole who never apologized and that wasn’t going to change. Not fighting would be nice, but he had to be realistic here.
“It’s…complicated.”
“But does it have to be?” MK asked.
“Guys, maybe we should dial it back?” the big blue guy spoke up. “Obviously this is pretty personal to Mr. Monkey King and Mr. MacQuack.”
Wukong threw his hands out. “Yeah! Thank you, big guy! Butt outta my business! Besides, shouldn’t someone be checking on him right now? Make sure he’s, y’know, still conscious?”
All he got back in response was wordless stares.
Everyone was staring at him. Expecting him to do something about it.
“Fiiiiiiiine.” Wukong sighed dramatically before stomping up to the piano was and the source of his current headache.
“Heeeeeeeeey… You, uh, doing alright, bud?”
“S’Not fair.” came the mumbled reply against the keys.
“What’s not fair?”
“Your face.”
Wukong rolled his eyes at what he thought was an attempted insult. “You’re not making any sense here.”
“So stupid… stupid handsome pretty face… s’not fair you’re so pretty…”
Pink returned to Wukong’s cheeks as an awkward chuckle trickled out. “Uh huh. It is kinda in the name, ya know.”
His title was the Handsome Monkey King for a reason!
He still thinks I’m–?
Macaque turned so he was facing the other from his position. “Am I still pretty too?”
Now he’s asking loaded questions. Wonderful.
“Uhhhhhh…”
A sniffle. “Knew it… I’m hideeeous… Can’ever be pretty again!”
“Macaque–”
“I’m ruined and ugly and you’ll never–!”
“Just shut up a minute! You’re not hideous, you never have been…and nothing could ever change that.” he found himself answering.
Not that he had any rightful say on the matter, Macaque would always be pretty to him. As much as that painful fact hurt him to admit.
Whoooooooa! Where’s that coming from? Shit, why did I–? Crap. Why’d you have to go and say that? …Buuuut it’s not like he’s gonna remember this, soooo I think we’re in the clear here!
“So you still think I’m pretty? You still–”
“Don’t do this. You’re not doing either of us any favors with this.” Wukong cut him off.
“What?” Macaque sat up, swaying slightly once on his feet.
“You’re drunk. Like, super drunk. On my Heavenly Wine that you stole from me. You stole my gourd and downed nearly the whole thing, you jerk.” he chastised him again.
“Are you… still mad at me?”
“For drinking my booze? Yeah! That was mine! I only have so much of my secret stash left! So you better pay me back!”
“What about… all th… other stuff?”
And no.
“We’re not talking about that right now. Not here. Not when– What’re you doing?”
Macaque had apparently decided to… fall on top of him? Tried to tackle him? He was doing a terrible job, if that was the case. What was he even looking to achieve with such a sorry attemp– whoooooa, those were arms wrapping around him.
Hugging?? He’s hugging me?!
That’s even worse!
“…’m sorry…”
Wukong blanked. “You never apologize.”
“I’m soooorrryyyyyyy.” Macaque whined into him again. “Don’t be mad any’mor. Don’ be mad at meeeee.”
“Okay. You’re wasted.” Wukong tried to shove him away. “Now get off. You’re making a scene.”
Macaque clung to him tighter. “No.”
“Mei’s recording this, y’know? You’re gonna hate yourself the more you do this.” Wukong attempted to convince him, eying the smirking dragon girl with her phone still trained on them.
“Not u’til I fix it. You said fix it. So gotta fix it…” Macaque continued to slur, now upping his ante to nuzzling. “Di’ you like my song?”
“Uhhhh…”
“Wrote it mys’elf. Bout you…” the shadow hiccuped. “Cause I loooooove you, heh heh heh. Didit work?”
Wukong didn’t believe that for a second. Nevermind the swelling ache in his chest that absolutely wasn’t there.
“Whadda bout this?” Macaque continued to nuzzle his face from his chest into his neck. Pressing his lips against him and– was that tongue he just felt?!
O-KAY!
“Whelp, guess we’re doing this! MK!” Wukong abruptly slung Macaque over his shoulder. Away from his neck and face. “Sorry to bail early, but someone’s got to get this idiot home and since you were all gonna make me do it anyway, that’s what I’m doing. Have fun and all that, I’ll try to get back in a bit. If I don’t? Assume we had another fight and I went home. If I’m not there, should you visit the mountain tomorrow, don’t panic, just try to reach out with astral projection. I’ll get back to ya when I can.”
“M-Monkey King, is everything good?” MK tailed after him to the door. “Should I be worried about those weirdly specific instructions?”
Wukong sighed. “You’ve never dealt with this asshole while he’s drunk before.”
“Wheeeeee!” Macaque giggled as he swung his arms side-to-side from his upside-down position.
MK looked between the two, a mix of confused, a mix of worried.
“I’m fine, kiddo.” he assured. “This jerk will be fine too. Sorry about this. Maybe next time I’ll be able to stick around.”
He gave MK a two-finger salute before taking off on Nimbus. His sweet kiddo waving them goodbye until they disappeared from view.
He’d almost forgotten how much of a handful Macaque was when he’s drunk.
Constantly fidgeting, poking, whining, laughing, trying to swing himself off Wukong’s shoulder and nearly knock them both off Nimbus. That last one in particular made going at ideally faster speeds a problem.
But, because he’s the Great Sage, Wukong got them to their destination without fail despite the annoyance.
“You’re a lot of trouble, you know that?” Wukong huffed as they arrived at Macaque’s rundown flat.
Through shapeshifting espionage and verification through MK, he’d figured out where the other lived and used clones to keep tabs.
…As he should! Know thy enemy, and all that.
Speaking of, he luckily came across one as he landed Nimbus at the doorstep of the connected dojo and turned the lights on with his magic as he entered.
“Take this and record us.” Wukong ordered as he tossed the clone his cell phone. “I need all the insurance I can get.”
‘Cause there was no way in HELL Macaque was gonna turn this on him. Like he always does. As if he’s the only one who’s ever made mistakes!
No, if Macaque had any questions the morning after about what happened, then he was gonna watch the evidence of his misdeeds himself. In full 4k. As he deserved.
“Peeeeeeeaches!”
Wukong took a deep breath. “What?”
“I’ve got the best view!”
The golden monkey rolled his eyes. More nonsense from this drunk idiot hung upside down over his shoulder. What did that even–
That’s when he felt it.
A pair of hands groping his ass.
Son of a–!
Wukong immediately hefted Macaque off his shoulder and onto the ground. Glaring red-faced at the cheeky, shitfaced asshole giggling back at him.
“Awwwwwww, Peeeeach! I was just getting to the good stuff…” this shady bastard had the nerve to pout.
“Yeah, no. We’re not doing that. Now move your ass upstairs.” the Great Sage pushed him towards the stairs.
The shadow swayed, shakily putting one foot in front of the other. One attempt to raise his foot to the first step, and Macaque was falling over backward.
Into him.
Wukong let out a loud, obnoxious groan before hooking his arms under Macaque’s legs and back and trudging up the stairs. Gesturing for the cameraman clone to follow.
The ravenette simian nuzzled into his chest and purred. Loud-ass motorboat purring as he tried to merge himself with his ex’s pecks.
Oh joy. Now that my ass is outta reach, he’s coping a feel with my chest.
Wukong paused in the stairwell to turn to the clone. Ensuring the duplicate got a solid minute of footage of Macaque feeling him up. He was gonna make sure Macaque would be unable to refute anything once the conversation inevitably came up tomorrow.
To defeat the petty, one had to out petty the petty.
“Nüwa… thank you… for your gift to all demonkind. All life, realllyyy.” Macaque mumbled into him, trailing a finger across Wukong’s jawline to boot. “Preeeetty gem.”
“E-Excuse me?”
Macaque decided not to elaborate on that extraordinarily generous compliment. The asshole. Forcing Wukong to resume his search for the bedroom to keep his focus off the drunk monkey still working his hands all over his abs. And face.
Just like–
A little bit of trial and error later (he knows where Macaque lives, not every square foot of his home), he finally found the sought-after bedroom. Promptly depositing Macaque into his bed before he could try anything with his tongue again.
“Alright. We’re done here. Later!”
A tight grip on his arm halted his escape.
“Don’t leave me again.”
Fuck.
Wukong sighed. “Don’t do this.”
“Please. Please don’t leave me.” Macaque continued to beg.
“Mac, no. This is only going to end badly for us–”
“Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me–”
“Why are you doing this?!” Wukong snapped, unable to keep the waver out of his voice. “We both know the minute you sober up, you’ll be cursing my existence and yelling how much you hate me! We’ll be back to fighting again and you’ll blame me for everything like you always do! You want to be left alone, and that’s what I’ve been trying to give you!! So why won’t you just LET me??! Why do you have to… What do you possibly hope to gain from doing this!?”
Macaque only stared back with hazy eyes. Grip never loosening. Annoyingly unanswering.
Of course. There’s never getting any straight answers outta this guy.
“Right… stupid question. Torturing me for everything’s been your whole M.O. Nothing’s ever enough for you, is it? I’d say this is cruel, even for you, but what do I know about you anymore?” Wukong said bitterly.
Even if he wanted, there was no fixing this. Macaque would never.
So of course Macaque had to stoop to new lows messing with his head, with his heart like this.
Fucking–
Wukong yelped as he was suddenly yanked down onto the bed, boots and all. Instantly ensnared in Macaque’s arms, which coiled around his torso like a boa constrictor.
“Don’t hate you.”
“Don’t lie.”
“I doooooooooon’t. Don’t wanna fight.”
Wukong wriggled against the other’s grasp. “Then quit picking them. You’re gonna start another one if you find me here tomorrow. You know it, I know it, so just– hmmmmf!”
Macaque kissed him.
This motherfucker pulled him by the scarf and smashed his soft lips onto his!
For the record, Wukong did NOT just let him do this! It was a cheap shot sneak attack that minutely, momentarily took him off guard! Nothing more.
“Y’talk too much.” the shadow mumbled, breathing wine breath into Wukong’s face when he finally decided to pull away.
“You better have got that.” Wukong shot a look at the clone. Preening when it gave him a thumb’s up.
“I’ve got waaaaaay more, Dianxia.” Macaque purred as he dove in for another.
“No! Stop! Macaque!” Wukong blocked him with his hand. “I mean it. I have to go– did you just lick me?!”
Macaque didn’t answer. Just moved around the hand he licked and dove for another go at his lips. Fortunately(?) he missed his target in his drunken stupor, but happily settled for making out with Wukong’s cheek.
With full tongue plus the nibbling bonus special.
Lucky him!
“Okay, seriously! Stop it!” Wukong pushed him off again. Making a point to rub the hand Macaque licked into Macaque’s face. “Let me go!”
Macaque growled like a grumpy cat. Curling up closer and tightening his hold.
When Wukong continued to attempt to free himself, a plethora of shadows emerged and tied him down to the bed. Macaque squeezing him tighter as he curled himself flush against the Great Sage like an oversized koala.
“No. Stay.”
He could break this.
It was well within his ability.
He should break this.
He shouldn’t even still be here. This was meant to be a run and done. Not…this. Again, what was this?
The best thing he could do for both of them was to leave. They both wanted that. So why was Macaque fighting so hard against him? Was he trying to set them up for another fight?
Because again, there was no way this was genuine. That Macaque wanted any of this.
He wouldn’t be tricked again.
He couldn’t fall for it.
No matter how tempting, how comfy, how nice–
Shut up! You are the Great Sage Equal to Heaven! Victorious Fighting Buddha! You are NOT falling for such an obvious trap! You cannot–
As if sensing his turmoil, a raven black tail curled around gold. His worries somehow easing yet doubling all at once.
The right thing to do would be to leave. Just a soft burst and the shadows would dispel. Or open up a portal or two and drop them both in the shadow dimension. Where they’d be trapped until the great shadow master sobered up.
Macaque nuzzled him with a whine.
“Staaaaaaaaay.”
Wukong sighed and resigned himself to his fate.
Only because it was less hassle than provoking unpredictable shadow magic! Nothing else!
He couldn’t hope for anything else.
“You cool recording for the rest of the night or do you need me to get someone else?” Wukong asked the clone.
The double shook their head and gave him another silent thumb’s up. Wukong gave them a grateful smile.
At least he’d still have that in his favor when this blew up tomorrow.
Wukong doesn’t remember falling asleep.
He does wake up very confused, still tethered to Macaque’s bed by both the shadows and the shadow monkey himself. Still happily purring away. Still cuddling him like a teddy bear.
While here Wukong was, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Against all odds, it wasn’t the worst sleep of his life. Dare he say more restful than he’s had in a while.
How pathetic was that?
Macaque shifted by his side. Finally starting to stir.
Here it comes.
Gold met gold.
The five stages of shock flashing through the warrior’s eyes like a flip book.
“‘Sup.” Wukong greeted.
Macaque shrieked. Scrambling off him as if he were hot coals. Blankets and shadows flying everywhere. Both monkeys thrown off the bed from the force of Macaque shoving them apart.
“What the hell?! What the FUCK!? Why the FUCK are you here?!! What did you DO!??”
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand there it is!
Why would it EVER be anything else?!
“No! Don’t you DARE! I don't wanna hear it!” Wukong snapped, throwing the blankets off of himself as he stood to his feet. “The only reason I’m here at all was because your drunk ass refused to let me leave! And before you even THINK about trying to turn this on me, I have video evidence! Show him, clone! Show him how this was ALL HIS FAULT!!”
His clone dutifully made their way over with the phone, presenting the videos — both the one they recorded last night and the one Mei took at the party that was sent to the group chat, at Wukong’s instruction — to the frazzled warrior. Who still had the audacity to give him skeptical looks.
“What’s the matter? Scared of the truth? Watch ‘em!”
Macaque scoffed but began watching the videos.
Almost instantly, whatever attempted cool facade he was trying to put on fell away. Giving way to surprise, to discomfort, to abject horror. Bearing witness to his drunken self’s actions with sober eyes.
The singing, the whining, the groping, the cuddling, the kissing.
All of it.
“Look, look! Here’s the part with you tying me down to the bed with your shadows!”
“No. No…”
“Nope! Can’t deny anything this time! This was all YOU! And this proves it!” Wukong poked Macaque’s hard in the chest. “You don’t get to blame me this time! You don’t get to pull another one of your ‘not my fault!’ bullshits again for something that was entirely your doing! Especially not when you held me hostage and ignored all sense of boundaries and consent! What is WRONG with you!?”
That got Macaque’s attention. “What?”
“I don’t know what you were trying to pull here, but Fuck. Off! Just when I thought you couldn’t sink any lower, you come in and do this! I’ve had it! Unless the world is ending — Hell, even THEN — I don’t wanna see your lying, scheming face! Just stay the FUCK away from me!!” Wukong snarled as he made for the door.
“No, I didn’t– Wukong–!”
“Next time you wanna get piss drunk, don’t steal my wine and don’t rope me into it! And maybe learn to control those ‘wandering hands’, too! The next person might cut them off next time!”
With that, Wukong slammed the door behind him. Breathing heavily through his nose and running his hands down his face as he leaned his back against it.
This whole ordeal was exhausting and he could really go for a drink.
Maybe I can haggle Nezha for a gourd or two? I have a few things of his in my treasure room he might want back.
Before he could take another step, however, a sound from behind the door stopped him in his tracks.
A sniffle.
Then another.
Followed by a sob.
Oh no.
Nope. Nope. No. No! He was not dealing with this!
He was not the bad guy here!
But the broken whimpers coming from the room behind him refused to let the Monkey King go. Even without the shadows, Macaque hadn’t relinquished his hold on him.
Wukong tried to reason with himself.
It’s a trap. It’s a trick. Just like last night was. Are you really– aaaaaaaaaand you’re going back in.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Carefully, he reopened the door and peered inside. Macaque was still in the floor, face buried in his hands. Shoulders shaking.
“…Macaque?”
“Fuck you.” was the muffled response.
Told you.
Wukong sighed. “Right. I’ll just–”
“No!”
He couldn’t remember the last time Macaque had sounded so… desperate. Why? He hates him, but doesn’t want him to leave?
“‘No’?” he echoed back. “You just told me to fuck off.”
“No, that’s what you told me to do. I only told you to eff yourself.”
“Whatever! Which IS it?! Do I go? Do I–?”
“Too loud…” the shadow groaned, nursing his temple.
Right. Hangover.
“What do you want from me, Macaque?” Wukong repeated quieter. “You say one thing, say another in your actions, and flip back and forth between them constantly. Make up your mind!”
“I…”
Wukong leaned against the doorway, eyes never leaving the warrior as he floundered for his words. Fidgeting under the king’s gaze. Tears welling up again– oh no.
Please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.
After a pause, Macaque weakly threw his hands up. “Why do you care? What difference will it make?”
“Why do I–?! The last few centuries, you’ve wanted me dead. Last night, you were one step away from jumping my bones. So yeah, I want to know what the hell that was about! New mind game you’re testing out?”
Macaque looked stricken. “…Do you really think so lowly of me that that’s what you thought–?”
“What ELSE am I supposed to think!? You HATE ME!!”
“I DON’T HATE YOU!!” Macaque shouted at him.
Golden eyes widened.
Drunk Macaque had said the same thing Sober Macaque just said.
“I don’t. Hate. You.” he repeated. “I told you that last night, didn’t I?” He held up the phone playing that particular moment of the video. “What about anything that happened the other night makes you think that?”
Wukong clenched his fists.
“And I told you not to lie to me.”
The warrior growled and wobbled his way to his feet. “Lie? Lie?! You think I’m lying about this!?”
“I’m not calling you a truther here!”
In a blink, the other disappeared into shadows. Before he could react, Macaque spawned out of the ground in front of him, grabbing him by the face and kissing him full on the mouth.
Then again.
And again. And again. And again.
And again–
“What’r– Yu– Doin’??” he strained out between repeated attacks to his mouth.
“Kissing!” Kiss. “You!” Smooch. “Until!” Kiss. “You!” Smooch. “Believe me!”
There was tongue in the kiss that came next. The lingering taste of wine assaulting his taste buds as Macaque went all in. Determined to taste every bit of him.
Despite himself, Wukong melted into it. Kissing back with fervor and tasting his warrior, his moon, his Liu’Er. Centuries of longing and heartache resolving themselves in a simple act.
For but a moment, all of the baggage and pain between them ceased to be.
Both were breathless when they pulled apart. Gold staring down gold as reality settled in.
“So, wait… this! This is real? And last night was also real?!”
The ravenette raised a brow. “Yeah.”
“You… don’t hate me?” Wukong continued.
“I don’t kiss people I hate.”
Pink exploded in his cheeks. “H-Hold on! Not that I’m against this, far from it! But, uh, y-you sure you don’t hate me anymore? Cause the past still happened and I feel like there’s a loooot of stuff we should be addressing first–”
“Oh, make no mistake! There’s plenty I’m still upset about! We have soooooo much shit we still need to address and talk out. And we are gonna talk about it. But!” the shadow booped his nose. “That can wait a bit longer. I’d like to do this a bit more before we go into the deep stuff, don’t you?”
The king shivered as his warrior intertwined their tails and caressed his face. “So to be clear, you… y’know…”
Macaque sighed. “You’re lucky you’re pretty, Měi Hóuwáng.”
“You calling me stupid!?”
Laughter. “I’m not calling you smart.”
“Excuse me, but in case you’ve forgotten, I’m the Língmíng-Shí-Hóu! ‘Intelligent’s’ in the name!”
“Hmmmmm, I don’t think anyone’s ever called you that.”
Wukong stuck up his nose. “Buddha does, so so there!”
Macaque stole another kiss. “You still talk too much.”
“Yet you love me anyway!”
More laughter. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Tender touches turned to explorative ones with their hands as they closed the distance between their lips–
‘Monkey King! Is everything okay!? You weren’t on Flower Fruit Mountain when I checked this morning, so– whoooooooa!’
MK’s astral projection looked at Wukong, then Macaque. The two monkeys awkwardly meeting his gaze back. Still tangled in each other with their fur very ruffled.
“Uhhhhh…”
‘PAY UP, TANG! DADSY! MEI AND I WON THE BET!!’ MK shouted ‘off-screen’ to the others.
“Oh, you are SOOOOO doing stances next training sesh, kiddo! TWO WHOLE HOURS OF THE HORSE STANCE FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER TWO DOING THE PLANK! AND EVERY OTHER PAINFUL STANCE I CAN THINK OF! ALL OF THEM!!” Wukong swore, red in the face at his now pleading-for-mercy cub.
Macaque only laughed. Playing with his golden mane all the while.
“And you still owe me for the wine, you thief.”
“Whatever you say, Peaches.”