Work Text:
Ron set his bag of groceries down, searching through and finding what exactly he had gone out for in the first place. Pulling it out, he was seemingly ready. "Alright... You, me, bedroom, pronto," he said to the suggestively long item of food in his hand.
The cucumber.
Just before he was about to take the cucumber into the bedroom alone, he stopped for a brief moment. "Oh, I almost forgot." He walked back to the bag he set down previously, pulling out a 12 pack of large Magnum condoms. "I hope these are big enough..." He mumbled to himself.
He walked back to his bedroom, box of condoms in one hand and cucumber in the other. Pushing open the already opened door even further, he walked in and threw both items on the bed. Before he would use the cucumber, he had to make sure it was safe to, so he opened the box of condoms and rolled one onto the cucumbers full length. "Alright... that should do it."
Ron started to pull his pants down, tossing them aside onto the bedroom floor. Next came his shirt, and then last but not least- his underwear. He laid down on his back, opening his bedside drawer and pulling out a previously bought bottle of lube. "This'll do," he mumbled to himself, spreading his legs and pouring some lube over both his hole and fingers.
He circled his anus with his fingers, applying more and more preasure the more he went around. It wasn't his first time using only his fingers, so he knew the ropes on how to prepare himself.
However, he had never used anything more than just his fingers. Thinking of, a whole cucumber may be a bit of a big jump.
But, 'Go big or go home,' is what Ron thought to himself. It's not like he had anything better to do nowadays. Especially not since he had his detective licence revoked.
Throughout his thinking, he had already instinctly put 2 of his fingers in. Normally, he would just stop here. However, considering he will be putting a whole cucumber in his rectum, he most certainly had to prepare himself with more than just two. So, he started preparing for a third to be put in.
Ron had never put more than two in, so three surprised him a little bit. Considering the formation that his fingers were in at the moment, and how uncomfortable it was making him, he was able to figure out that this is definitely not how they're supposed to go in.
Why did it matter, though? This is only a temporary replacement at the moment. He'll get to the main course sometime soon.
So, why not add a fourth?
Four was definitely hard to do, but Ron wasn't weak by any means. So he managed to get 4 in with bearly any challenge.
After getting himself a bit more adjusted to how all four of his long but slim fingers fit inside his arsehole, he pulled them all out. That's definitely got to be just about the right size as the main, right?
Ron lubed the protected cucumber, spreading it all around the top and bottom and it's entirety. Not wanting to back out, which wouldn't happen anyways, he alined the cucumber with his entrance. Using his fingers to allow easier access to his hole, he started to push the cucumber in a little bit.
He did wince a little at the initial entrance, he'll admit. However, getting the full thing in, can be considered both a breeze and a challenge.
It hurt like hell. His fingers may be long, but definitely not at long as the girthy and lengthy cucumber that is inside him at this given moment. Actually managing to push it inside as much as he could was also another downside, as it was hard to believe he could stretch this far.
Those were the only downsides at this time, though. Apart from the pain and work, the overall feeling of having an entire member in front of him was awfully exhilirating. If he could take something like this, then he could truly take the actual real thing, right? Not like he wanted to, though.
He wasn't ready for that. Not as if there was someone he could ask, anyways.
He shook his head, clearing his thoughts from the real thing. This cucumber was enough. More than enough.
He had managed to get more than enough of the cucumber in, until he figured if he put it in any further, it could get stuck. So stopping at full size, he started thrusting it in and out of his anus.
Ron was already used to the full length of the vegetable, so thrusting it posed as no challenge or threat to him. While this entire ordeal felt just so very good to Ron, he was not a moaner by any means. He made noise, for sure. But full blown and over the top moaning? He doesn't think he had the abilities to do so.
Ron was about to reach his climax. All this self-thrusting made him tired, but didn't mean he was going to stop just because of that. He was going to go till he could fully release. He started to work his slim fingers around his own length, stroking himself at considerably the same pace that he was thrusting at. Through doing this, he was able to reach a climax. He released a load onto his own stomach, stopping all motions over that his over-excessive breathing that was happening at the moment.
Calming himself down, he pulled the cucumber out of his arsehole, plopping it to his bedside table.
"I'll have to buy an eggplant next time..." he commented to himself, getting up to go to the bathroom and clean up.