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When Mobius wakes up, he finds the bed next to him empty. He extends his arm to feel for any leftover warmth and, when he can't find any, sits up and squints in the dark. A thin sliver of light illuminates a part of the hallway, seemingly coming from the kitchen. It catches on the forest green rug Loki chose for the hallway, which clashes terribly with the rest of their home decor (if one could call it that- there hasn't been much time for decorating yet).
Mobius gets up, quickly putting on a sweater, and quietly makes his way to the source of light. In the dim kitchen, Loki, wearing one of their silken black pyjamas, sits with his back to the door, hands tightly clutched around a glass.
The kitchen is sparse, barely used yet, although the new and shiny set of kitchen knifes sitting proudly on the countertop gives it a feeling of home, of Loki. Mobius closes the door with a click, making noise as not to startle Loki, then walks up to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing slightly.
"Bad dream?"
Loki leans into his touch, yet shakes their head.
"Pain.", she squeezes out, her mouth pressed into a thin line. Mobius sighs, adding his second hand and gently massaging her shoulders.
"Did you take any meds?", he asks softly, thumbs running over tense muscles in circles.
Loki shakes their head again, closing their eyes. Mobius' hands move down along her shoulderblades, then up until his thumbs press forcefully, yet pleasantly into the back of Loki's neck, finding their way into his hair. She supresses a shiver, her fingers run mindlessly along the patterns in the glass as he leans into Mobius' touch. He eyes them, then reaches out to comb the curly strands that have fallen into her face back, letting his hand rest upon the crown of their head. Loki lets his head fall back, meeting Mobius' eyes upside down with a questioning look.
Dark circles contrast his bright eyes, although the light in them seems a bit dimmed at the moment. His mouth is dry and there are little cuts on her lips where she picked at them in an attempt to distract from the pain.
"You think a bath might help?"
Green eyes blink up at him for a moment before Loki replies.
"I don't know.“, he mumbles. Then, softly:
„You help."
Mobius can't help but smile a little as he leans down to press a kiss to the god's forehead.
"Let's draw you a bath then. Maybe it'll help you go back to sleep."
Loki gets up with a stifled groan, following him into the bathroom where she sits down on the lid of the toilet as Mobius begins drawing the bath.
He adds a lavender scented bubble bath to the water, feeling the temperature every now and then to make sure it is warm enough to relax Loki's muscles while not being too hot for his heritage. When the bath is nearly full, Loki begins to strip, his lanky body tense and stiff. Their silken pyjama pants drop to the floor, his thin fingers fumble with the buttons until Mobius takes mercy on her, gently pushing her hands away and unbuttoning the shirt for them. He folds it as they gingerly climb into the tub and sink into the water, their head falling back against the rim of the tub.
Mobius reaches for a towel, folding it and gently lifting Loki's head the tiniest bit to slip the makeshift pillow under it.
He gets the stool from the other side of the bathroom and sets it down by the tub, sitting down and watching as Loki's breathing grows slower and deeper, their body relaxes as they sink deeper into the bubbles.
"Can I wash your hair?", Mobius asks after some time.
Loki hums a noise of agreement, not opening their eyes. Mobius reaches for the jug by the tub and starts scooping up water from the bath, wetting Loki's dark curls. He is careful not to let any water run across her face, and quickly wipes away a stray droplet from Loki's forehead.
Gently, he massages Loki's shampoo into their hair, running his fingers through the silky strands, carefully untangling a few knots here and there.
As he rinses the shampoo out, Loki sighs, his brow furrowing into a sad expression, and Mobius stops in his movements. „What is it?“, he asks softly.
„You're so good to me, Mobius.“, the god utters quietly.
„I still cannot believe this is real. You are real, it is too good to be true.“
He opens his eyes, meeting Mobius' gaze. There are some tiny drops of water caught on her lashes, making them cling together beautifully. Mobius feels his breath catch at the sight.
„This is real, Loki.“
He leans down, presses a kiss to Loki's forehead, who, in return, reaches for his hand and kisses his knuckles.
„This is real, and you deserve this. You deserve peace, and you deserve friends and someone who cares for you.“
Loki nods absentmindedly, lips still pressed to Mobius' hand.
„You deserve happiness. And love. You deserve everything, Loki.“
„And you? Do I deserve you?“, Loki asks very quietly.
„I-“, Mobius pauses for a moment, trying to find an appropriate answer.
„Would you let me be your happiness and your love?“
It sounds incredibly sappy, Mobius notes in the back of his head, but at the same time Loki has never been one for hiding behind ambiguous sentences in matters like these. No, in anything concerning their relationship, Loki has been nothing but honest, almost offputtingly so. So he swallows, letting the meaningful question hang in the air, forcing himself not to add anything to take the edge off it.
Loki stares ahead unseeingly, unblinkingly for a long time, so long that Mobius grows nervous, yet the tight hold on his hand is never released, Loki's lips never leave his knuckles. Finally, Loki nods, blinks, a tear rolls down their face.
„I'd like you to be my everything.“, she admits, her voice barely above a whisper, „If you would.“
„Oh, Loki..“, Mobius sighs, squeezing his hand. „Any role in your life you'd let me take, I gladly would.“
A quiet sob bubbles up from Loki's lips, and in an instant, Mobius has two arms full of a very wet and very emotional god.
„I don't know what I'd do without you.“, Loki cries softly into his sweater, hands clinging onto him like a lifeline.
„Hey, shh dear, it's alright. I'm here. You don't have to go through anything alone if you don't want to. I'll always be here for you, Loki.“
He presses a kiss to their head, running a hand up and down the shivering god's back.
Loki doesn't let go of him for a long time, and he holds them, lets them hide their face in his chest until their breathing has evened out a bit. „I love you.“, he whispers to them, again and again, never once losing his grip on her.
When Loki pulls away, rubbing his red rimmed eyes and wiping at his face, the water has long since grown cold. Mobius rises from his kneeling position by the tub, reaching for a towel and draping it around Loki's shoulders. He steadies him as he gets out of the tub, and as Loki begins to dry themselves off and wrap the towel around them, he gets a second one to begin drying their hair.
„Do you want me to dry your hair or-“, he starts, but with a quick shake of Loki's head and a flash of green, freshly washed and dry curls fall around their pale face.
„I just want to go back to bed.“, she murmurs, deep exhaustion visible on her features.
„Alright, sweetheart. Are you okay to go on ahead while I tidy up here?“
Loki nods, shuffling out of the bathroom into the direction of the bedroom. Mobius makes quick work of disposing of the water in the tub and hangs the drenched floor mat up to dry. After a quick detour to the kitchen for a glass of water, he enters the bedroom to see Loki already dressed in a pair of Mobius' sweatpants and a shirt, sitting on the edge of the bed.
He puts down the glass on the nightstand, then sits down beside his lover, resting a hand on their thigh in what he hopes to be a reassuring gesture.
„I'm sorry that bath didn't exactly do what I thought it would.“, he says softly.
Loki shakes her head, gently running her fingers over Mobius hand on her thigh.
„It's not your fault. You couldn't have known I'd react like that.“
He swallows.
„To be honest, I also didn't expect to react like that. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry if I scared you.“
„Don't worry about that. Do you wanna try to sleep?“
Loki nods, climbs into bed and under the covers as Mobius changes into a dry shirt, then joins her. He turns off the little lamp on the nightstand, then turns to face Loki. Under the covers, his hand goes to rest over Loki's waist, fingers idly drawing gentle circles on their back. They're still tense, and every now and then their breath hitches and a tremble passes through their body.
Just as Mobius is about to fall asleep, Loki's voice breaks the silence.
„Mobius?“, he whispers.
Mobius opens his eyes blearily, trying to make out Loki's face in the dark room.
„What is it? Do you need anything?“, he whispers back, fingers resuming their movement on Loki's back.
„No, I..“
She falls silent again for a few moments.
„Do you think it'll ever go away?“
Mobius takes a deep breath, considering what to tell Loki.
His lack of answer seems to make loki nervous, as she reaches out to poke him. Mobius sighs.
"Loki, love, I really don't know. That's something we'll have to find out together. But even if it doesn't go away, I won't get tired of finding new ways to make it easiert for you."
Loki stays silent for a while.
Mobius reaches out, carding his fingers through their soft hair. "You okay?", he asks softly.
"I- no, Mobius. I'm not okay, I'm not supposed to be like this. I'm a god, I shouldn't be affected by this stupid, stupid pain.", he bites out, voice straining to stay calm.
"I don't understand why it won't just go away, and why my magic can't just heal it already. I hate feeling like this. And I hate that you have to deal with this all the time."
Mobius' eyes widen at the last sentence.
"Whoah, hey, Loki. You and the way you feel is not something to be 'dealt with'. As long as you want me here, I'll be here and I'll help as best I can."
Loki shakes her head ever so slightly, lips pressed together to stop them from quivering. Mobius watches him silently for a while, then sits up, his body language inviting.
"You wanna come closer?"
Silently, Loki climbs over, settles between Mobius legs and melts into Mobius torso.
"Whatever you need me to do for you, I'll do it. If you need me to stay up with you, I'll do it, if you wanna go to a doctor after all, we'll do that, if you need space I will give you space, no questions asked-"
"No-", Loki mumbles, "no space."
Mobius falls silent, putting his arms around Loki, pulling him closer. They lay like that for a while, until finally-
"This isn't really about me, is it?"
Loki sighs.
"Not really."
"Do you wanna talk about where you think this comes from?"
They scoff.
"I think it's pretty obvious."
"Enlighten me."
"Well, prior to meeting you, I've only ever received love in exchange for being useful to people somehow, be it former lovers or my- Odin. And I know you're not like that, and you...", she hesitates.
"I love you no matter what.", he finishes for her.
Loki nods.
Mobius furrows his brow, stroking Loki's exposed forearm gently.
"I'm sorry, love, I don't really grasp what your point is right now.", he admits.
"I- my point is, I want to be useful to you! You deserve so much more of me than anyone else before, and I want to give you that but all I can give you is this."
A beat of silence.
"Oh, Loki, I think you give me more than you realise. You make me happy. That is everything I need from you. Do you understand?"
"Even when I am like this?"
"Of course. You wanna know something?"
"What is it?"
"To be honest, I like being able to care for you."
"...really?"
"Really. I mean, I don't enjoy you being in pain and all that- but it's nice to feel needed. Especially by a god."
"Oh, you are always very much needed.", Loki mutters, turning a bit to wrap an arm around Mobius.
He smiles, pressing a kiss to their head.
"I'm glad."
"You really are the best thing that could've ever happened to me. I love you."
"I love you, too. Try to get some sleep, dearest. I'll be here when you wake up."
Loki nods, burying his face into Mobius' chest and closing their eyes. Mobius goes back to running his hand through her hair until he can hear his breathing slow down and even out.
In the morning, when Loki wakes up, Mobius will make them breakfast. They'll sit down at the table, and when Loki seems awake enough, Mobius will carefully breach the topic again. He will ask what he can do to make Loki feel more needed, to put their mind at ease and make him feel valued and useful.
But for now, he is content to lay in bed, pressed into the matress by the familiar and comforting weight of his lover who is gently snoring into his chest.
As long as he can bring his Loki comfort, Mobius is more than content.