Chapter Text
Lately, Plagg feels as if something has changed.
As a being that exists infinitely longer than the time it takes for even the most gloriously pungent cheese to age, he has learned this unfortunate truth a long long time ago: Change is inevitable.
He just hoped that when Adrien would change it would only be for the better. But today, with the almost-cataclysm on that monkey boy…
Plagg can not comprehend an Adrien who would even consider taking a life. Only a few months ago Adrien couldn’t even cataclysm a Christmas tree because he didn’t want to ruin someone’s holiday!
He is way too kind, way too compassionate, and way too forgiving. No matter how angry he becomes, no matter the injustice he faces, not for one single moment will Adrien think that killing is an answer.
Hearing the door close, Plagg plops out of Adrien's pocket, looking worriedly over in Adrien's direction. He floats towards Adrien, who lays his bag on the floor, kneels and begins to organise its contents. Plagg finds himself hesitating, something he rarely ever does. But he needs to do something, anything, so he asks “Are you okay?”
Plagg internally winces, he couldn’t have used a lamer opening. But it is already out of his mouth, and it isn’t as if he doesn’t genuinely want to know, so he keeps himself still. He is quietly waiting. Watching as Adrien guilelessly turns his head towards him, a swimsuit in hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why? Is something wrong?”
That familiar worried lilt in Adrien’s voice, his eyebrows that furrow ever so slightly, his wide green eyes that shine with innocence. A gaze that radiated concern. Directed at Plagg.
“You almost cataclysmed your friend today,” Plagg states bluntly. So blunt it might have even been harsh. But does he really need to tell Adrien what is wrong? Does Plagg need to point out that yes, there is, in fact, something wrong?
Adrien lowers his swimsuit back to his bag and stands up to look back at Plagg’s unwavering gaze. After a quiet moment, Adrien’s eyes shift away from his, eyes clouding up with confusion. His words bother Adrien. Plagg can practically feel the uncertainty radiating off of the boy.
“Kim is not really my friend…" Adrien finally says.
He is hesitant, obviously trying to find words to explain himself. He is starting off very poorly, but Plagg knows he needs to hold his tongue and wait for him to continue.
"I know I shouldn’t have cataclysmed him. I just felt so angry after he told me he hurt Marinette last year.” Adrien growls, the words that come out of his mouth filled with venom. It is unlike Adrien to speak like that. Plagg’s eyes widened, his arms unwittingly uncrossing, shocked out of his stern demeanour. “I wasn’t planning on hurting him! I swear! But then he turned into an akuma, and I just couldn't hold it in anymore."
Adrien is waving his arms around frantically. Trying to placate Plagg? Justify his actions? Vent his anger? The monkey boy hurt pigtails, which explains Adrien’s anger back then, but…
“You are not supposed to cataclysm a person, Adrien!” Plagg’s voice bursts out of him, and along with it all the pent-up feelings he’s been trying to temper. More worry and desperation than rage.
This is bad.
This is so so bad. Plagg doesn’t understand. How can Adrien not get what is wrong?
Adrien flinches away from Plagg's glare, unable to meet his eyes.
In that one instance, all of Plagg’s frustrations, his desperate need for answers, are drained out of him. He knows what yelling does to Adrien. To be the one to cause his kid such distress is something Plagg never wants to happen. The guilt eats at him.
Adrien takes a deep breath. In and out. Just like Plagg taught him back when he had nightmares after the Desperata incident. He looks over at Plagg's slumped form and guilty tries to apologise.
“I know. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it.”
The sincere remorse in his voice is a balm to Plagg’s aching heart. Adrien finds the courage to look Plagg in the eyes, Plagg, looking into Adrien's bright and pleading eyes, slowly finds his equilibrium. Adrien is still the same kind and well-meaning boy he has always been. He just has to apologise for yelling and—
“But Plagg, why are you bringing this up now? I apologised right after the fight. Ladybug even said it was fine and if it happens again she’ll be there for me.”
And just like that, his dawning equilibrium comes crashing down, before it even had a chance to settle. Plagg feels his desperation, his frustrations, bubbling up inside him once again. They want to be let out, but Plagg can’t let himself do that.
He can’t let himself frighten Adrien. For Adrien, Plagg will temper his feelings. For Adrien, he will suppress destruction.
“Happens again?” he asks, as calmly as he possibly can because, for Adrien, he won’t give in to the urge to raise his voice. He can do at least that much, no matter how horrifying this talk with him is turning out. “Are you planning to cataclysm someone again?”
“Of course not!” Adrien exclaims, giving Plagg a beseeching look, his wide eyes—that annoyingly remind him of a puppy, begging him to believe his words. “But you said so yourself. That it is fine to cataclysm someone. That sometimes destroying is the best path.”
Plagg can only gape at the boy in front of him. Adrien looks so damn innocent it is nauseating. “When, in kwami's sake, did I ever tell you that using a cataclysm on a person is fine?”
He manages to tamp down most of his frustration, but none of his incredulousness. This is getting more and more ridiculous in the worst way possible. What is Adrien saying? Sure, Plagg does tend to speak without thinking, but he could never say something so stupid. He would never say using cataclysm on a living being is okay!
“After I cataclysmed Monarch I told you I was scared of losing control over my powers and you said that sometimes destroying is the best path and that I should trust you that using cataclysm works more often than not.”
Plagg listens to Adrien’s rambling, his eyes widening, finally beginning to understand what happened “That’s why you’ve been using cataclysm more freely on people?” He asks, aghast, and he recalls the memories of that way too hectic day.
Adrien used cataclysm on Claw Noir, his cringy evil counterpart. That was the first time he purposefully used his powers on a living being. Looking back, it was strange, and Plagg couldn’t believe he didn’t see it back then, just how alarming that was especially since Adrien had the element of surprise on his side. And especially when he had just failed with Monarch merely hours before.
His flippant comment that day, meant to reassure Adrien’s worries, is what caused this change?
“I don’t just use the cataclysm freely on everyone.” Adrien insists “Just some villains.”
That last part is said in a whisper so quietly that Plagg barely hears it. He can see clearly on Adrien’s face that even he isn’t convinced of the morality of his statement. Yet, Adrien squares himself, his posture becomes defensive as he looks Plagg in the eyes, determined.
“Besides, we saw Monarch right after. He jumped through dimensions trying to steal the Miraculous and enjoyed attacking us at every chance he got.” Adrien claims defensively. “Even with cataclysm, he seemed more than fine to me.”
That is the final piece of the puzzle needed to get the whole picture. Suddenly, it all makes sense. He hates it. Plagg hates what he knows he has to do. What he knows he has to tell Adrien.
“Adrien, a cataclysm on a human being is a slow and insidious curse. It starts as a mere touch, but over time, it spreads like a dark poison, infiltrating their body, shutting down organs one by one until it ultimately claims their life.” Plagg pauses, watching Adrien closely to see if he comprehends the gravity of the situation.
Adrien’s eyes widen in a mixture of horror and realisation washing over his face, signalling to Plagg that his message has hit home.
“So… are you okay?” Plagg tries once again to ask. He can guess the answer but he wants Adrien to say something. He is too quiet and his mind seems to have drifted too far away. Adrien begins to shake as he sits down on his bed and raises his hand for Plagg, who flies to sit on it.
“P..Plagg…” Adrien stutters, his voice so soft that if Plagg's ears were human, he wouldn't have heard even a sound. Adrien looks up to him, bright green filled with tears, “What do you mean “take their life”?”
Plagg felt a wave of guilt for not realising earlier. He remembered how Chat Noir had told Monarch that he didn’t know what a cataclysm would do to him, thinking it was just a tactic to throw their enemy off guard. Plagg had honestly believed that Adrien already understood the consequences of a cataclysm, especially since he had been affected by one before.
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew. You were cataclysmed before by an akuma, you know how bad it hurts. I was even ready to stop making fun of the dinosaurs because it was so painful! You thought you could survive that without Ladybug’s cure?” Plagg asks incredulously.
Adrien can't bring himself to believe in it. Yes, he tried to cataclysm Kim in the heat of the moment, he felt his chest burn with fire, and his mind went blank. However, even under all of this, even at his worst - He knows he will never attempt to take someone's life. Plagg can't be right. Is the only reason he survived the akuma’s cataclysm Ladybug’s cure? Is he even supposed to be alive if she hadn’t used it that day?
“Y-Yes! No? I don’t know!” Adrien remembers the day with Miraulour, how the akuma took his powers from him and how she had cataclysmed him again and again. It was the worst pain he had ever felt, he could barely move, let alone fight. Hadn't he also passed out at one point?
“I thought it was like any injury, that it hurt the most when it happened and it would heal with time. Maybe longer than regular injury but still... Wasn’t that part of the reason Monarch took time off after I-”
He cuts himself off before he can say the words. He can't make himself say it.
“I-”
He never would have done it.
“I-” but… it was his hand on Monarch that day. Ladybug said she couldn’t fix it.
‘One of us is always there to help the other.’
She can’t help him now.
His eyes turn to look at his hand. Luckily Plagg is no longer sitting on it. Adrien is trembling so much, that he is sure he would have dropped his friend. He moves his hand closer to inspect it.
I can hurt people with this hand
His hand seems to duplicate into several hazy ones.
I can kill people with this hand
He tries but the more he looks at them, the blurrier they get.
I touched Monarch with this hand
“…rien…”
Come to think of it, everything around is blurry, and spinning fast.
Is Monarch dying?
“…athe…”
If Monarch is dying, then it is my fault
Something touches Adrien’s forehead suddenly, and at once he sees very green… eyes? The more he focuses, the more it looks like eyes, and the more he focuses - the better he sees his friend.
“… breathe..”
Is he breathing? He doesn’t really notice.
“…drien, try to breathe… ith me”
He finally hears Plagg taking slow, deep breaths and tries to match them with his own. It is hard but after a few minutes the world stops spinning so much, his short, rapid breathing slows down and he can finally see the kwami clearly before him.
They stay in silence for a while, nothing but the sound of their breathing to feel the air. Then Plagg removes his paw from Adrien’s forehead and sits on his shoulder. He begins to purr and nuzzles his head on Adrien’s neck.
Now that the dizziness has stopped and Plagg’s purring keeps his breathing steady, Adrien's thoughts wander back to their conversation. And with a clear head, he finally realises.
I am killing Monarch.
Plagg cuts his purring for a moment. And once again, he asks his question.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”