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I find myself somewhere
I never thought I’d be.
I’m going round in circles,
Thinkin’ bout you and me…
And how do I explain it when
I don’t know what to say?
What do I do now?
So much has changed.
Nothing I’ve ever known
Has made me feel this way.
Nothing I’ve ever seen
Has made me want to stay.
Here I am, ready for you.
I’m torn and I’m fallin’
I hear my home callin’
I’ve never felt something so strong.
Oh no.
It’s like nothing I’ve ever known…
You’re the one I’m lookin’ for
You’re the one I need.
You’re the one that gives me
A reason to believe.
Followin’ a star
Has lead to where you are.
I feel so strong now
This can’t be wrong now…
—
Five Days Later…
You were resting by a river bank when he finally caught up to you.
“oh, here we go…” you stood, although with the way he was pushing his horse you heard him a while before he actually arrived. And you didn’t think in all the years you’d known him you’d ever seen him so angry.
“YOU-!” Payne was off his horse and on you in 10 seconds flat, and yet you maintained that picture of innocence look on your face. His gun was drawn and you heard the hammer click back, which should mean he meant business. But if he did, he’d have pulled the trigger and you’d have barely known a thing about it.
“I could kill you. Right NOW! Like I should have done a long while ago. About time I collected that damn bounty of yours.” If he thought getting up in your face like that and growling was intimidating, it wasn’t.
You tilted your head with a raised eyebrow, disbelieving, pushing the gun away from your body gently: "Don’t point a gun at me unless you intend to use it…” Your voice wasn’t raised, if anything it bordered seductive.
“You left me. You f**king left me!”
“Ah, but you’re still alive. And since you followed me here… you got my message.”
“You’re worth more to me dead!”
“Aw, now Payne don’t lie to yourself…”
Inches had become centimetres, “I swear… It’s about time someone did something about you.”
“Well…” you yanked him closer by his coat; “It ain’t gonna be you.”
Soon Payne’s lips were on yours, and his hands were tangled in your hair again and everything you’d felt from a few days ago was flooding back to you; every touch he’d afforded you, the feel of his skin against yours. (Not that you hadn’t already dwelled on it…) By the fervour he kissed you with, you assumed you weren’t the only one thinking on it either…
When he let you go you were both breathless, and even then he stole every kiss he could.
You wriggled slowly from his grip; “I mean, I guess I’m glad they found you.”
You’d caught up with his gang around 2 days after you’d left him. For which you were a little thankful, just in case the bartender had seriously not gone upstairs and found a man tied to the bed. You’d given them a little tip about what you’d done and where you’d left him. And Silas had almost laughed himself sick about it. Which hadn’t helped you laughing either. Of course, you hadn’t disclosed to them that you’d also slept with him. So you wondered what they thought now. Or rather you might not want to dwell on it. You could almost imagine Silas’s wicked smirk and raised eyebrows.
However, they weren’t here. Only he was.
“…Yeah, luckily I didn’t really have to explain anything!”
“Oh-! So they don’t know?!” You smirked gently, “Shame, thought Silas might get a kick out of that…”
You wandered back to your things, making sure to keep one eye on him; “… I’m sure Silas probably figured it out, he’s got a good head on his shoulders.”
“He’s about the only one of you that does.”
“Watch your mouth-!”
You couldn’t help but laugh, and hard “You might just have to come over here to shut me up…”
“Oh, I will.”
“I have no doubt…” you started pulling things from your bag; “Seen as you’re here… and you pushed your poor horse far too hard to catch me… you best sit and rest. Are they followin’?”
“No, I left them at camp this mornin’…”
He did as you asked and strode over to you, sitting on what appeared to be a comfortable piece of ground after unbridling his horse by the rivers edge.
It was a clear sunny day, and he could shrug himself out of his coat; letting you curiously graze your eyes over his skin. Those shirt buttons were still fairly useless, you saw.
You crossed your legs and sat back, regarding him for a minute. He still piqued your curiosity, even now. Perhaps even more so now. What would it be like to be in a real relationship? What would it be like to travel with him? What would it be like to get the opportunity to love him like that every single night?
It didn’t sound too bad, sitting here. He’d probably annoy the hell out of you though, that was about the one thing stopping you. Still – you were content to keep his company here, sharing bread, water-
“Biscuits?”
“Sugar, carbs, water. What else would you need?”
Payne gave a shrug, “Seems like you could be healthier… What, no alcohol?”
“If you don’t want anything-”
“No! NO! This is good!” He broke it in half; knees up to stop you from taking anything back.
Payne was just as content to bask in your attention, which you were all too happy to give him as you replayed your night over and over in your head. And he could look at you staring quietly at him and imagine what else he could do to you – oh, you had no idea…
Eventually you broke the thoughtful silence and nodded to the tattoo now slightly exposed on his chest;
“Snake, huh? Is that supposed to be a warning?”
“Could be.”
“Should have heeded it.”
“That bad, huh?”
You began laughing, and he noticed you didn’t answer him as you looked out to the water. Because you’d prefer not to answer. He watched your face; is she blushing-!? Sh*t! And that’s not the heat either, no way… she’s a f**kin’ liar. She enjoyed every damn minute..! He smirked I knew she would…
When Payne realised he wasn’t going to get you back to that particular conversation to admit it – though he felt the quiet told him all he needed to know – he nodded behind you to your horse. Now wandered a little way down the river Jett was far enough away for it to be of concern that he could completely wandering off… Or someone popping out of nowhere and trying to make off with him.
“I’ve always noticed how much power he has. He’s built big, but incredible fast…”
You turned, and when you didn’t call him back Payne assumed you didn’t care, or there was no reason to worry; “Jett? Yeah, probably better that way. Consider I travel alone he can cover a lot of ground fairly quick; which you’re never sure when you’re going to need. Also, I like that he’s built so big, you wouldn’t necessarily mess with him.”
You looked to his horse quick; “Not that I’d mess with your horse either.”
“Really?”
“Well, he’s yours. So, no. And I certainly wouldn’t mess with the horse belonging to the leader of a group of bounty hunters. But… I’m solo… What am I gonna do without a horse, might as well kill me.”
“Well, that’s what I was getting to. You’re riding a horse that must be particularly sought after. No-one’s ever tried? I’d be worried about something like that.”
“Oh I didn’t say that.” You laughed “Plenty have tried.”
“And?” He thought this might be entertaining
“Well for one, I’m impressed if they can get within 10 paces of him.” You tipped your head back to look at the sparse clouds for a minute, trying to remember a time when people had succeeded mounting him. It’d happened maybe once? Twice? And you’d got the exclusive front row seat to one of the more entertaining pieces of theatre ever. “Sometimes it happens though; see Jett is barely broken… just enough to be rideable. Just enough to have a bond with me. But he’s pretty much a wild Stallion.” Your eyes flicked back to him; “They don’t get very far before they are thrown off, or he basically refuses to move. Jett’s not one to put up with any sh*t… I like that. Could use some of that-!”
“Barely broken? That’s a thing?”
“My father used to break horses… I watched him do it all the time.” You nodded “I would have done something similar… He helped me break Jett… but… there was something about seeing him be wild and free… I didn’t want to lose any of that…” you turned back with a smile “He’s like having a part of my family with me. Maybe it’s not a thing; but it’s a concept… That’s what I’m going to call it. He’s still a wild horse, he just tolerates me…” You turned slowly from watching Jett to your one-time-lover with a gentle smile, “Guess he’s a little like you…”
He chuckled at that, tolerate…, he felt he probably did a lot more that that. He wanted to do a lot more than that. He had to know you wanted more than that too. “Why did you leave me a note anyway?”
“Oh.” You blustered and gave an elaborate shrug, throwing your arms “Reasons.”
“Why won’t you let me hear them. There’s a reason you wanted me to know exactly where you were going…”
“Then I think you know. What I’m surprised of is why it took you so long… I did leave very specific instructions… And I didn’t try very hard… We could have pushed a little harder!”
“Well, not all of us are great at… directions.”
You giggled, “You got lost? Wait what threw you?! The rivers, right? If you started too high you would have come to the point where they intersect. No… I get it.”
“I did not get lost; it just means I had to come further down. A detour.”
“A detour, huh?” You were amused “I’m glad it wasn’t my writing is all.”
“No…” He smiled gently, drawing himself up to height as he stood; “Your writing is fine…”
You eyed him with a little more curiosity as he crouched in front of you “Well, good. That means I can continue leaving you notes when I leave you.”
“I’m tying you up next time.”
You teased; “Oh, is that so, cowboy?”
“Don’t f**king start that again…” His voice was soft as he leant in for another kiss.
“I’ll f**king start whatever I like…” You smirked, pulling him in to deepen the kiss this time – he placed his hands either side of you;
“Then why don’t we…?” Payne bit your lip gently as he kissed you again, and you hummed in gentle approval; until he started to tip your body back, and you realised what he was doing.
“UH-! What-! We are not gonna do this on a river bank on rocks!” You pushed Payne back;
“Why not?” He went for your neck this time, and you had to struggle between really wanting him to do this and the logical protest,
“N-n-No! God! At least have the common decency to take me to bed first-!” His nip of your earlobe – again – made you gasp “PAYNE!”
“What-!?” He pulled back but only slightly, now showering your face in kisses; “You do realise we aren’t always gonna have the luxury of a bed, right?”
You placed your fingers to his lips to hold him off, eyebrow raised; “Oh. That sounds serious?”
“Don’t you want this to be serious?”
“Can I trust you…?” you ran your fingers down his cheek to his neck, and stopped your hand at his shoulder “…I’m not gonna be one on a list.”
“You can trust me.” He kissed you again;
“Snake? Doesn’t sound so trust worthy.”
Payne chuckled; “You’re gonna play all the cards until you give up, aren’t ya?”
You gave a shrug, this time stealing the kiss from him, forcing him back as you sat upright; “You made the mistake there of thinking I’d give up…”
“Ah, my mistake…” He kept his hands either side of you, but when he kissed you again you ran you hands back into his hair.
This time neither of you interrupted each other, but were broken apart by a whistle for attention.
“I shoulda f**kin’ known it!”
You both turned, but of the two of you it was Payne who grumbled; “Aw, sh*t.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. This couldn’t have happened any better.
Silas sat on his horse, hands on his hips but grin on his face; “…Oh… Sorry, am I interrupting something?!”
***
Months Later…
It couldn’t have been more than a few weeks after your last encounter with Payne, and you weren’t exactly ready to see him again. But you thought about him often, too much. You weren’t sure it was good. You liked whatever it was you had with him, but you weren’t sure that it was good. In the long run it would go two ways – you’d end up roped into that gang, or he’d get sick of this and finally make a move on that bounty. Hell, maybe you’d end up killing each other.
Either way, you didn’t see this working long term. But here you were, working through it anyway. He was good to see, and easy to leave. Because you’d always find him again – bounty hunting was a tight knit community and it wasn’t often that you went after each other. Maybe the new kids on the block would try, but other than that unless the bounty was too good to pass up… The problem with you and yours was trying it. However, every bounty was fair game, and often you would find each other trying to track the same person. No big deal, sometimes it was good to work together in these things. (Not that either of you might be doing that for the money…)
So, seen as you weren’t in the mood to see him, finding Silas was the last thing you really wanted.
Technically he was coming out of the town that you were going into, but you both reigned up – and for the next few moments there was a tense stand off between the two of you.
He quirked an eyebrow; “Is this the part where we both draw arms and I die?”
You had to blink a few times to snap yourself out of your dread; “Oh. No… I was just thinking how I only saw you guys a few weeks ago – can’t he get enough?”
“You’re the one wandering into town…” Then he tilted his head; “Wait… a few weeks? No, surely months.”
Months… Is it?” You had to think on it, and suddenly were relieved that clearly you didn’t count as diligently as you thought you did; “Anyway, point is I don’t need this again – so I might as well back up and find the next town.”
“Huh?”
“Well, surely the gangs’ all here?”
“Oh…” Silas bit he lips together and his eyes slowly moved from yours “You don’t know…? He didn’t tell you?”
You leant forward, carful not to urge Jett on just yet, squinting at your friend; “Tell me what–!?”
“Oh. I left.”
“LEFT!?” You placed your fingertips to your lips for a second to quiet yourself down; “You did what-!?”
“Left… Yeah… I’m… Heading out solo.”
You placed your hands on your hips, impressed; “Well, congratulations. I wondered when you’d get out.”
“Yeah…” he grinned sheepishly “I guess you’d mentioned it to me a couple of times…” Silas wheeled his horse around in a neat circle so he was now next to you, and pushed on – signalling you should start walking with him. “Why, I don’t think I’ll understand.”
You scoffed; “Because I actually like you.”
“You like him too though, from what I can gather.”
You narrowed your eyes “Careful.”
“If you’re sleeping with him then something is going on.”
“Shut up-!” Your hand flew out and clamped over his mouth “I’d rather you didn’t say it out loud!”
He peeled your fingers away from his face but kept your hand in his; “Why?! That’s what’s going on.”
“I’m aware, thank you.”
“It’s cuz you constantly told him he wouldn’t be doing anything about it isn’t it?” He smirked but it earned him a punch in the side; “OW! Geez…” He pulled his horse away from you to create a gap; “Alright, you’re only hitting so hard cuz it’s true.”
“I can hardly deny it.” You sat back a little to slow Jett’s walk to a more casual pace; “…I’d just rather not dwell.”
Silas tipped his head, curious; “Do you love him?”
“Do I what-!?” The way you shot him a look like he was insane made Silas grin;
“You heard me.”
“Love- NO. What?!”
“Just checking.”
You pulled Jett forward to stop his horse; “Why-!?”
He held his hands up “I’m just checking-!”
“Because if I don’t love him then what-?!”
“Nothing-! Why are you getting on my case about this..?”
You were getting irrationally angry, so the next sentence out of your mouth happened to be; “Do you want me-!?”
Silas held your eyes, but as he opened his mouth his face dusted pink; “No. What-!? That’s not why I asked.”
You folded your arms, maybe it wasn’t, but you figured it might be related “Uh huh… So what is it then? Why did you ask…”
He cleared his throat, and took a breath that made the blush disappear all at once. He focused back on you; “I was wondering whether you were so exclusive to be averse to male company, is all.”
“…I’m averse to any company, to be honest, but I’ll hear you out – what is it?”
“Well… I was hoping I’d find you… Thought maybe you could keep me straight, teach me a few things about being single.”
“Single’s not the word I’d use…” But a smile made its way across your face, and pretty soon you were aware that you were beaming. That was such a sweet thing to ask; you teaching him a thing or two about going solo? You weren’t so sure you wouldn’t be taking him up on a full-time partnership. However, you had to focus back on being alone – that’s what he wanted too. All of a sudden, you were really looking forward to sharing your time with someone else indefinitely;
“Sure…! Let go do this!”
**
You didn’t spend nearly as much time with Silas as you wanted to. He had this, and you’d known that almost from the second you’d walked out of that first town. But he was tentative, and he wanted to know he could handle this alone. Going from a group to alone would be a big thing, going from two people to just one was a lot easier on him. And you couldn’t help but feel a little proud as you watched him ride off into the distance as you’d bid each other ‘See you around!’
From what you’d gathered from your time together, it wouldn’t be your only time teaming up. He was good company; and you were starting to realise how lonely alone was…
You had options to do something about that; but you wouldn’t. You guessed you had your own reasons for that – but were they even good reasons anymore?
Instead of you running into Payne, this time he caught up to you. That hadn’t really happened since you’d left him your note, so part of you didn’t expect it.
You expected less that he wouldn’t be happy to see you. And even less than that, that the first thing he’d do was drag you away from your horse across the dirt;
“OW!! WILL YOU F**KING QUIT IT! WHAT DID I DO NOW-!?!” Though you didn’t know why you were asking what you’d done now, because you’d never done anything. As far as you were concerned.
He pushed you back to standing, allowing you to brush yourself down. You noticed his gang still sitting on their horses ominously in the distance, and they all looked pretty pissed too.
“You know damn well what you did!”
Your face scrunched for a second; “What-!?” Then you wondered why you were bending to this and got angry about it; “NO! But I’m sure you’re gonna f**king enlighten me!”
“HA.” He took a step back that read his ‘really!?’ “He left. He f**king left. But you already f**king knew that.”
“…Silas?” That made you climb to a new level of outrage “THIS IS ABOUT SILAS!?!” You weren’t all that concerned with how he knew you knew. You should have been.
“About Silas-!? Of course it’s about Silas! It’s YOUR fault!” He pointed an accusational finger at you.
“WHAT!?” Why? Because a couple of times you’d told Silas he’d be better solo, and joked about it with Payne in earshot? Surely Payne wasn’t so shallow to think that you’d have the power to influence his decision.
For Payne, however, this was completely different and that argument burned in the back of his head.
Why would you want to leave!? Where are you gonna do better than this-!?
Y/N!
Y/N?! What about her?!
If she can do it, so can I! She’s talked about it for so long, I want to try!
Try- but when you fail you’ll come crawling back
F**k that – I don’t need this anymore!
You’re ALWAYS going to need this Silas! Don’t be so f**king stupid!
But he’d headed off anyway. And now all Payne had heard was that you were riding around with him. And you were renowned for always doing everything alone. So it didn’t take him long to put the obvious two and two together – so of course he was mad at you.
“You’re the reason he left – he had the balls to say that to my face! So don’t you be acting all f**king innocent.”
“Well that’s HIS fault! Not mine! I didn’t force him to go Payne!”
“Are you f**king him too-!?”
Suddenly your anger meter hit zero. Your stance slacked and you tilted your head; that’s what this temporary moment of insanity was about. Somewhere on the wind he’d caught that you were travelling with his ex-best-friend (probably.) and he’d come to the wrong conclusion. That wasn’t something to be angry about, that was just kinda funny. He wasn’t angry Silas had left; he was angry that Silas could be sleeping with you.
You raised an eyebrow, trying your best not to laugh at him; “You get some funny ideas sometimes…”
Your response was so far out of left field that he also dropped his stance; “…W-What?” He expected you to deny it, to deny it whether it be true or not. Or maybe you’d confirm it. He didn’t expect that.
You shook your head gently, smiling “Why the hell would I wanna do that when I have you?”
“Well why the hell else would you be travelling with him-!?”
You took a few steps forward, “Because he wanted to know the ins and outs of doing this solo… Which makes sense, cuz you’ve been part of this thing since you were all late teens right? Given he’s just a little younger…” You gave a shrug “I mean, granted he couldn’t really ask to learn for anyone better…”
“Oh, uh huh?”
You indicated to his group, now one down; “I guess they’re pissed cuz I’m the reason he left. You know, the actual kinda good reason to get annoyed at me.” You kept walking to him “But, y’know… Still not my problem.” You stopped just short of close. Looking between those blue eyes that were still stormy; he hadn’t exactly calmed down yet. “Do you think I would be so unfaithful?”
“You’re out here alone, what’s stopping you?”
You shrugged, figuring Payne could use a shot to his ego; “Where out here is anyone gonna even come close to what you do to me?”
“Well, what do you do when you…” His eyes flicked down your body for a moment, but you could see they were already clearing; “…Don’t have me…?”
“Oh…” You bit your lip, “That’s easy… I just… think about you…”
“Hm…” His face seemed satisfied with the answer; “Still, you ought to prove it to me. Before I start thinking you’re a good liar.”
“I am a good liar, I just don’t need to lie to you…” You turned back to his gang “Set them straight, first.”
“Oh no, you owe me. I’ll set them straight later.”
You leant towards him; “How’s that gonna work? Hey guys, I’m just gonna go f**k a girl you clearly all despise cuz she took Silas from us?”
“Yeah.” Payne pulled you into him and pretty soon you were pressed up against him in a kiss with no hope of escape; “Let ‘em think that…”
***
You were once again travelling alone. It was just what you did. Maybe you were technically a part of his gang now. From time to time you would travel with them but something about you still loved being solo. You kept in contact- meeting every few days or so (sometimes it’d be weeks… or months… but they killed. And you tried not to count them) as you arched in wide circles, wherever that took you.
Sometimes whatever you were doing or whoever you were tracking interested Payne enough to split from his group and join you. Only if it was quick though. He never liked to be split for too long, and you liked that about him. You liked a lot about him, and being with him was easy.
You were sure how much his gang really liked you around; considering how much you would flake off. She either is or isn’t one of us…
But they seemed to enjoy your company when you were around.
“No but honestly, why are you the most badass person here?” Skelly laughed from behind you, making Payne shoot back before you got the chance to open your mouth;
“Cuz she’s with me.”
“No.” You ran your horse into his to elbow him “You only wish you were as badass as me.”
He gave a shrug; “Mmmm… That’s not it.”
“I’m gonna push you off that horse in a minute.”
Payne scoffed, shaking his head; “I’d like to see you t- HEY-!” only he grabbed your arm and almost pulled you over with him, you had to reign Jett back to keep the two of you steady.
“Why the hell do I put up with you?”
“Because you love me?”
“Mmm… No…” You teased with a grin “That’s not it!”
There was a lengthy silence as he glared across at your jab at his jab, but you only turned back to the rest of the group following behind and gave a wink. Upon which they started howling with laughter;
“Oh. It’s because they love me more!” you turned to him, tongue out; “Soon it’s gonna be Y/N’s gang!”
“Y/N’s gang sounds better!”
“Agreed!”
“Who is for changing the name!?”
You watched him get increasingly more agitated; “SHUT IT ALL OF YOU!!!”
You swivelled back to them “Yeah! Listen to your boss!”
He tsk’ed “There you go again… Taking sides…”
“As long as it’s the right side.”
“Is there a right side?”
“Between you and your group.”
“…I can think of something I’d like to get between…”
“I can think of something I’d like you to get between too…” You smirked, causing him to do the same.
“Mmm hmmm?”
You pointed ahead of you; “Directly in the middle of me and that mountain ridge… that should put you far enough away from my gang…” with a laugh at his defeated breath out.
“Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you…”
You raised an eyebrow at him; aiming for one last witty remark a you urged your horse on; “I dunno… But the sex is good, right?”
You knew you’d hit a nerve by the way he yelled after you. It got lost in the wind now whistling past your ears, but you were almost screaming with laughter.
***
Payne awoke alone. That almost didn’t surprise him – he expected to see all your stuff gone; it surprised him more that it wasn’t.
Jett was still tethered with his own horse, so you certainly weren’t gone yet.
It must have still been late; the stars were still shining. He lay there for a few minutes, but when it was clear you weren’t coming back, he got up. Even in the low light level it was pretty easy to track you; you weren’t looking to stay hidden at any rate.
When he found you, you were sitting on the edge of a clearing looking out at the sky.
He couldn’t help but smile watching you. He knew you’d never join his crew – you’d never be a part of it. No matter how much he wanted that, no matter how much he would consider you a part of it anyway…
You were alone. Your best friend in his crew now operated alone too… The only reason you stayed here was Payne. And he knew that.
You weren’t really thinking of anything. Or mindful of anything much either. You always admired how clear and bright the stars were in the Colorado sky.
He approached you carefully, so not to startle you. And the first thing you were really aware of was his coat around your shoulders.
“It’s cold…”
“Mmm… I know…” Your voice was sweet and quiet as you instinctively snuggled into it, pulling it further around yourself.
“Leavin’ me again?” Payne smiled and sat with you; watching the way your smile crept across your face, even though your eyes were still firmly fixed on the night sky.
“Not yet.”
“Then why are you up? It’s late…”
“They are so beautiful… I didn’t want to miss ‘em…”
“Coulda stayed in camp and still seen ‘em.”
You gave a shrug; “It’s quieter here…”
“Is that what you like so much about being alone?” He turned his head; to behold the stars also; “The quiet?”
“Well. I dunno if I like being alone. I just need it, occasionally.”
“Uh huh…” Payne’s blue eyes flicked back to you momentarily as you crossed your legs, sighing gently;
“Well, you’re never gonna leave and come with me. Are you.”
“I have a responsibility here.”
“I know.”
“I would if I could. You know that right?”
“No, I like that you’re responsible. Someone’s gotta be…” Finally your bright eyes left the stars and turned to him; “You let Silas go.”
He looked momentarily defiant that it would be his choice to do so; “He should come back.”
“Good luck with that one.”
“Hey, we had a good run. A least I know he can take care of it…”
“You care so much, for a man who acts like he don’t care at all.” You leant on your hand for a minute, eyes flicking between his. The stars reflected in them, given the colour, and you realised you had been staring at the wrong thing all this time.
He laughed; “Alright – where did that come from. I never said I didn’t care!”
“You care about more than a number on a page… If you didn’t you wouldn’t be here… You’d be solo.”
“You sayin’ you don’t care?” Payne knew that was a lie. Knew it.
“What do you think, hmm?”
“I think you like to pretend you don’t. That somehow alone keeps you safe.”
He stretched and gazed at your beloved stars again.
“It does…” He saw the way you stretched too and tried not to yawn. He’d get you back to bed yet. “Trouble is I can’t stay away from you…” You tipped your body until you head found his shoulder; “Just a mild inconvenience really…”
He chuckled, winding an arm around you, and kissed your hair; “Mhn. That’s it.”
You shook you head, taking his other hand in yours you shifted again to get more comfortable.
“Come on. Come back to bed…”
“Aw…” You nuzzled into his neck; making sure to plant a kiss there that had him shivering (and it certainly had nothing to do with the temperature) “Just a little longer.”
“You do understand how much ground we gotta cover tomorrow? You better not be asking me for just a little longer then.”
“5 more minutes…” You whined into his skin, making him chuckle
“What did you just say?”
“I love you, idiot.”
Payne shook his head; cuddling you close he squeezed your hands gently; “You’re nothing but trouble Y/N…” He placed his head on yours; and looked back to the star-washed horizon. “…But I love you too.”
***
Months Later…
Coming back around from your latest solo outing you were bored as hell. Usually you lived for the thrill of drawing quick or hunting men down (especially men who had it in their heads that you couldn’t possible be a good bounty hunter as a woman). HA! Tell that to you and Marimacho.
This guy you hadn’t even needed to break a sweat for and it was midsummer. In fact, you probably would even have broken a sweat in Payne’s coat – and damn did you love wearing that whenever possible.
So with zero thrills, and your trek back across the hot flat plains of Colorado seeming to stretch out for years, you were glad when you finally spotted shapes upon the horizon. Enough for him and his gang; enough to make your heart jump a little and you spur Jett forward with a smile.
The shapes were hazy… But even at this distance you could notice the one that pulled forward.
You smirked; Payne.
Soon you were galloping across that grass to him, and you didn’t care how it made you look….
Your horse was quick across ground, and always had been. His group always seemed to move slower - which made sense, considering they were a ‘No Man Left Behind’ kinda gang. Which was another reason you had to break away every so often. You were used to covering twice the distance they covered in maybe a third of the time. (And Jett wasn’t used to walking either - despite the respite. You were both restless, you needed to run.)
But you always came back, because you missed him too much. Being away was nice, but being with Payne was better.
As you galloped ever closer those figures on the horizon line came into focus. And with them, the knowledge that one had pulled significantly further ahead than the others, at pace. You’d run to him plenty of times, even if sometimes nonchalantly. Even if sometimes you appeared out of thin air you were always running to him.
When you could hear the sound of his horse you slowed up. Pulling all the way back to a walk just at the point you reached him. But your horses were both excitable - as an extension of their riders feeling; and they danced around each other in greeting.
You hushed Jett, to bring him at least under reign. Reaching just enough to steady Payne’s too, although you knew he was in control. Pulling yourself back in, you brushed your hand against his, the touch was enough. But altogether not enough.
Payne wore a broad grin; “It’s been a while!”
“Well you know how it is…” His horse was still, so you rounded him, looking him over “… Do one job… pick up about 5 others…”
“Bounty must be good?” You smirked, if he still thought he was getting his hands on any money from jobs you did solo he had another thing coming…
“It’s not bad… I’ll give it that…”
He laughed “We still aren’t getting anything out of you.”
“Bold assumption, but correct…” you slowed the walk, so Payne’s eyes could follow yours, that beautiful haunting blue that tailed you everywhere… “unless you or you…” you indicated to the group “are a part of this I don’t see why I should share…”
“Because we’re a team.”
“Are we?” You smirked “I thought we only teamed up on special occasions…”
“I consider you a member of this group…”
“Because we’re ‘together’?” You laughed; “Baby, if I considered myself a real part of this gang, I’d never leave.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t.”
“Please… we’re both smarter than that…” He turned to keep following your horses walk
“Ah, but you always come back.”
“Maybe that’s because I love you.”
“Love, huh?”
“I said maybe…” You pulled your horse closer to his “But maybe it isn’t love… maybe I just need a little bit of affection sometimes.”
“Oh. Because that’s all it is…” Payne was smirking now too “Never forget what I said.”
“Never forget no matter how true, I’m not a possession and you are good company.”
“If you’re suggesting I’m not anything more than a warm body…”
He had you laughing again “And what will you do if I am?”
“Prove you wrong.”
“Honey, I ought to tell you there’s no profit in the business of proving me wrong… only loss.”
“That so?”
“Mmm hmm…” you stopped Jett and once again pulled yourself closer, so Payne’s leg brushed against yours. He tried not to visibly swallow at the contact. Needy but never saying it, you liked that - it made you feel in control no matter how much that wasn’t true.
“Besides, you always talk like one day I won’t turn on you and collect yours…”
“Mine?” He chuckled, “she says, mine is hardly worth it - they’ll have to up it before people decide on doing that.”
“Because you got a gang of people… that’s the only reason.”
“Yours on the other hand…”
“Baby, you said it yourself you’ve had plenty of times you could have turned me in, never have.”
“Maybe I just like a warm body.”
“Well there are plenty of easier women, you could have the money and ask them…” For once he didn’t have a smart come back; but his eyes warned you to stop, which only made you smirk more and opt to continue. “But… they didn’t think of one thing… the people who are too afraid to try collecting on you…”
“Oh? And what’s that?”
“What happens when they get you away from your gang.” Suddenly Payne was aware of a gentle pull around his torso and he realised exactly what you’d done. You hadn’t put your hand out to steady his horse, you’d intended to rope him up.
“Oh you have got to be f**king kidding…!”
You laughed “No… sorry baby, this could be the end of the line…”
“If I yell right now…” he growled
“What and have them kill me? Baby you’d miss out on all the fun…” you winked “But you can keep talking to me in that tone…”
Your voice lowered seductively; “Unfortunately - I just couldn’t…” you pulled hard on the rope and he slipped forward so he had to lean into you. There was just about enough slack for him to be able to steady himself; but the only option there was placing his hand on your thigh.
You regarded him with interest for a moment; looking a little angry, out of control, helpless. Not a position he liked. Too bad you did.
You brushed your lips teasingly to his, ghosting, barely touching. Perhaps torture for both of you, but you were in control. When he tried to create a kiss, a real kiss, you simply pulled yourself back. That earned you a whine, a real whine. Frustrated. And it gave you your own rush.
“Mmm… that’s better.”