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It’s one in the morning in Tokyo which means it’s also one in the morning in Seoul, specifically in Yongsan.
Briefly, Woohyun spares a guilty thought for Yuki, his wonderful, loving, gorgeous partner who never even should have given him the time of day when they met two years ago. She’s in bed right now, sleeping soundly. She always slept well at night. He should be beside her right now. He shouldn’t be here, skulking by his front door, wondering if he should check on the snowstorm that hit Seoul heavily earlier tonight. And yet here he is, thumb poised and ready to do exactly that.
Sunggyu’s apartment heating failed at the most inopportune times. He remembers so very clearly the day it refused to go down and they’d spent a snow day sweating profusely as they waited for the technician to come. They had whiled away the time with complaints and flirting and—no, he shouldn’t go there. It’s one thing to be worried about his general well-being, another entirely to think about that. About Sunggyu and that. About Sunggyu and him and that. He’ll just check it quickly and go to bed. He always felt better knowing things than not and letting his imagination run wild.
He checks the weather and reads two articles before he feels even remotely comfortable enough to walk away from his phone. The sudden snowfall had let up over the last few hours and the city government predicted the roads would be cleared by morning. He lets out a sigh of relief.
"Oppa, what are you doing?" He jumps about three feet in the air. Yuki must be really sleepy if she was speaking in her mother’s language, one she barely remembered until they met.
"Nothing." He lies, somehow they roll off his tongue easier in Japanese, but even then he shows his phone to show her the Naver page he had pulled up to check on home. His old home. His heart is beating a million miles a minute thinking that this is it. This is when she figures out that his constant need to check the weather in Seoul isn’t as innocuous as it seems.
Yuki sidles up to stand beside him and cuddle and automatically he presses a kiss to her head. He does love her. He really, really does. It’s just, he just—
"Worried about your family?" She’s looking at his screen now, having taken her time to process the hangul text. Family. Such a complicated word.
"Eung." Woohyun puts his phone away and guides her back to their shared room. "Let’s go to bed."
"I always knew there was someone else." Yuki smiles at him almost sadly over her cup of coffee.
Woohyun swallows the apology that automatically bubbles up. She’d already told him to stop apologizing. It does nothing to ease the sting of being so seen. "I did love you too, though." He insists instead.
Forgivingly, she nods her head. "You did." He doesn’t know what to do with this absolution. He’s used to blame and anger and silence that stretches so wide it becomes louder and louder with derision.
“I’m scared.” Woohyun says, needing to talk. It’s probably not the done thing to discuss one’s plans to woo an ex-lover with your most recent ex-lover but Woohyun knows if there’s one ex he can rely on to stay friends it’s Yuki.
"Why? He already loves you." Yuki puts her coffee cup down, the clink of it covered by the tinkling of the bells from a door opening and swinging shut.
"It’s not that easy… and he loved me. I don’t know if he still does." It hurts to say it but it’s true. Sunggyu has made no indication that he’s still holding any kind of candle for Woohyun other than an imaginary one to burn his eyebrows or something.
"You’re a hard person to fall out of love with, Woohyun-ah." Yuki says kindly. "And besides, with all the things your friend Dongwoo couldn’t say in front of me, I think he still loves you as deeply as you do him."
Woohyun sighs. It's not fair to Sunggyu or Yuki but he wishes he could stay here. Maybe even grow old here. It's not the right thing to do, it's the easy way out. He's taken more of those than he should have, especially after he had left his strength in Seoul.
"This was never your home, Oppa." Yuki says it as a plain fact and Woohyun knows there's no judgment behind it, maybe just a hint of reproach like she knows Woohyun is already making excuses in his head. It's as if she knows he wants to stay here, to run without running. "After all this time don't you think you deserve to go home?"
And that is the root of it isn't it? Because while the breakup was Sunggyu's fault, not fighting for Sunggyu, not fighting for what they had was his own. The regret is his and he carries it everyday. He hates the decision that led him this far, a decision that was necessary but one that he regretted ever since he packed his bags. They had both made promises, it was their relationship and he should have fought, he would have fought but the blow of losing Infinite blindsided him too. Infinite was home in the same way Sunggyu was home. Now, Infinite is scattered, thriving as separate pieces of the same puzzle. Their shared history is a string pulled taut and wrapped tightly around his bruised heart, his even more bruised ego. It hurts. It hurts so much still. His heart is greedy and he knows he wants both. He wants Sunggyu and Infinite. He wants his family. It's not such a complicated word, not now, after years of therapy and Yuki's love. To fight for Sunggyu is to fight for Infinite and he wants to do it, he realizes. He wants to fight and try and maybe even fail.
"You'll be there for me if... if things don't work out?" Woohyun asks, it's petulant and petty but despite his epiphany the child in Woohyun wants not just someone to blame but also someone to come back to.
"No." Yuki answers bluntly, seeing right through him, hand once again wrapped around her coffee mug. "It's going to work out and you'll be back with him here to attend my wedding. Consider him your invitation. No invitation, no entry."
Woohyun blinks. Is that why she's been fiddling with her cup? He sees it now, the ring on her finger, and immediately he feels a rush of affection. She'd invited him for coffee to share her news and yet they spent the last half hour talking about him.
"Oh my God! Yuki why didn't you just shut me up? Congratulations!" He walks around the small table to pull her into a short hug and to inspect the ring she'd been flashing at him since they ordered their coffees and she'd pulled her card out, insisting that she would pay. He settles back down in his chair. "Well, since this is all about me, all my exes are practically or actually married now so I really know how to pick keepers." He says jokingly.
"Not all of them." Yuki responds pointedly but her grin is so wide and happy that the blow barely stings. "Hide told me you helped him pick this out.” Of course she can't help but soften the blow even further but Woohyun is glad enough for her that it really isn't necessary.
"Eung, I didn't know he'd ask so soon though." Woohyun looks over her slyly and he can't help but tease her. "Is there a Hide Junior in the very near future?"
Yuki rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out. "You're horrid."
Woohyun just smiles back at her in return. This is good but his heart also hurts just a bit. Woohyun has always been a greedy person and Yuki had always loved him so well, even when he didn't deserve it. She was exactly the sort of person he had been hoping to find after Sunggyu. Someone kind. Someone easy. Someone who didn't push Woohyun away when things were difficult and overwhelming.
"So when is the wedding?" He asks, stuffing his useless melancholy down to finally pay attention to Yuki.
They talk about the dates and venues Yuki and Hide are considering, all in Japan of course, and Woohyun tries not to get ahead of himself but he can't help but look forward to bringing Sunggyu back with him. Sunggyu had never been particularly good at meeting Woohyun's exes but for some reason Woohyun feels hopeful. For some reason, watching Yuki chatter on contentedly about her wedding plans, Woohyun feels in the depths of his soul that it's time. It's time to go home.